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View Full Version : US Government Says: Mermaids Don't Exist



Pike
07-04-2012, 06:27 AM
BBC News - No evidence of mermaids, says US government (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-us-canada-18692830)

:ariel::flounder::sebastian::ursula:

Discuss how crushed your dreams are. :(

Freya
07-04-2012, 06:31 AM
NO NO NO NO NO. I reject this. Those scientist are always lying about stuff like that. Like the big bang and the world being around for longer than 6000 years :mad2: They are lying. :( Please :(

Sephex
07-04-2012, 06:33 AM
But then how did they make Pirates of the Caribbean 4? I sense a cover up.

Alpha2099
07-04-2012, 06:37 AM
There goes my dream of scoring a date with Ariel.

Freya
07-04-2012, 06:40 AM
That must be it, Ariel must have another sequel we haven't seen yet. She ends up getting all the mermaids to become humans. That must be the answer :( That's it :( It's cause of pollution they had to become human or something :( please :(

fire_of_avalon
07-04-2012, 06:50 AM
This is why we shouldn't put stupid shit on educational networks. Goddamn.

Shlup
07-04-2012, 06:57 AM
Pfft, like I believe anything the US government says.

Jiro
07-04-2012, 06:58 AM
Absence of proof is not proof of absence. There's a whole lot of ocean we haven't seen yet. They're hiding down there until we become more civilised/ less likely to try and fuck their brains out.

Shorty
07-04-2012, 09:07 AM
Well, we haven't found Atlantis yet now, have we? The evidence will be there, obviously. Nerds these professionals are.

NorthernChaosGod
07-04-2012, 10:40 AM
Absence of proof is not proof of absence. There's a whole lot of ocean we haven't seen yet. They're hiding down there until we become more civilised/ less likely to try and fuck their brains out.

Why should we ever stop trying to fuck them? I HAVE TO KNOW HOW THAT'S EVEN POSSIBLE.

Jiro
07-04-2012, 10:57 AM
Well perhaps, but we need to not be so forceful.

Psychotic
07-04-2012, 12:37 PM
I'll wait 'til the UK Government confirms it thank you very much Uncle Sam. :colbert:

'til then I'll carry on having sex with manatees. :)

Pike
07-04-2012, 03:11 PM
You know what would be hilarious?

If right now mermaids took the opportunity to show up in Washington DC and be like "Hey guys, 'sup."

escobert
07-04-2012, 03:43 PM
I told everyone about this in chat yesterday! you damn link stealer!

blackmage_nuke
07-04-2012, 03:50 PM
Whats most disturbing is that the article does not deny the existence of maidmers.

Jinx
07-04-2012, 03:56 PM
FUnny, because last month I watched this show that more or less confirmed mermaids exist. And that the US Government stole the data and body from the scientists who found it, and are covering it up.

Ace Protorney
07-04-2012, 06:24 PM
They obviously have not met this person.

The Living Mermaid (http://www.greenmuze.com/green-your/body/3722-the-living-mermaid-.html)

Raistlin
07-04-2012, 06:37 PM
Fucking mermaids, do they exist?
And I don't want to talk to a scientist
Y'all motherfuckers lying and getting me pissed

Sephex
07-04-2012, 06:41 PM
Fucking mermaids, do they exist?
And I don't want to talk to a scientist
Y'all motherfuckers lying and getting me pissed

http://media.fukung.net/images/27884/93db5a2dce9a770a5401bb3f4b7387f2.gif

Slothy
07-04-2012, 08:04 PM
You know what? The US Government also told you to eat more wheat, fat will give you heart disease, ET was not a Spielberg's first bio-pic, and that the red menace was something to fear.

At least 50% of those are bullshit at best, so based on that rate of known lies and fabrications on their part, I'd argue there are almost certainly creatures in the ocean which not only live their and process oxygen from the water, but that some exist which are at a minimum 50% fish from an anatomical perspective.

Never trust the government folks.

ReloadPsi
07-04-2012, 08:28 PM
Wouldn't mermaids have fish genitalia? Why do people care about getting with them?

Trumpet Thief
07-09-2012, 02:29 AM
It's part of their agenda. I wouldn't read into it too much.

Tigmafuzz
07-09-2012, 05:36 AM
I'll be honest. I honestly couldn't care less about whether or not mermaids exist. If they do exist, then that's awesome, and I hope I get to dissect one someday. If they don't exist, oh fucking well. We already accept them as being mythical anyway. Being imaginary isn't far off.

But it's like Dak said. Absence of evidence is not evidence of absence.Just because we've never found one doesn't mean there aren't any. I mean, I'm not going to act like the same government who said pizza is a vegetable is right about mermaids.

Fun fact: the idea of mermaids possibly originated when sailors saw manatees ("sea cows") and categorized them as mythical mermaids. Probably under the influence of rum and/or being afflicted with scurvy.

Pike
07-09-2012, 11:16 AM
Wouldn't mermaids have fish genitalia? Why do people care about getting with them?

That reminds me of this:

http://files-cdn.formspring.me/photos/20111018/n4e9df61a37377.jpg

Jiro
07-09-2012, 11:22 AM
Mermaid is way more attractive than a fish on legs.

Jinx
07-09-2012, 02:10 PM
Mermaids are cool, but they're actually pretty disgusting when you think about it.

Reverse mermaids even more so.

Slothy
07-09-2012, 03:22 PM
That reminds me of this:

http://files-cdn.formspring.me/photos/20111018/n4e9df61a37377.jpg

Which would I choose? The one with tits and a mouth.

Women are more than just a vagina after all.

Sephex
07-09-2012, 03:57 PM
Wouldn't mermaids have fish genitalia? Why do people care about getting with them?

That reminds me of this:

http://files-cdn.formspring.me/photos/20111018/n4e9df61a37377.jpg

Cut them both in half, sew the human parts back together, eat the fish while ****ing her and making her eat some of the fish parts for good measure.

What?

Tigmafuzz
07-09-2012, 04:24 PM
Cut them both in half, sew the human parts back together, eat the fish while ****ing her and making her eat some of the fish parts for good measure.

The pizza would be cold by then.

theundeadhero
07-09-2012, 07:09 PM
Well, I'm glad they've figured that out. Maybe next they can spend all their time and resources trying to find the last unicorn.

Del Murder
07-09-2012, 07:20 PM
The Joint Task Force is still investigating Santa, however.

Madame Adequate
07-09-2012, 08:58 PM
Absence of proof is not proof of absence.

I'm surprised Raistlin didn't call you out on this :colbert:

KentaRawr!
07-09-2012, 09:05 PM
They should interview Little Bear. He's seen them.

Jiro
07-10-2012, 07:01 AM
Absence of proof is not proof of absence.

I'm surprised Raistlin didn't call you out on this :colbert:

Can't we have one thread where I act like I know what I'm talking about and nobody calls me out on it? :(

Raistlin
07-10-2012, 04:08 PM
Absence of proof is not proof of absence.

I'm surprised Raistlin didn't call you out on this :colbert:

I assumed he was joking/parodying such nutjobs.

Then again, maybe I was giving him too much credit.

Jiro
07-10-2012, 04:13 PM
You're always giving me too much credit. The statement is true, though. It doesn't account for the inherent fact that mermaids are unlikely to exist. But the statement itself is true. GET OFF MY FUCKING BACK YOU JACKASSES

Raistlin
07-10-2012, 04:23 PM
You can't prove a negative, only the lack of a positive. Put another way, the absence of evidence of a little pink elephant dancing on your desk is evidence of the absence of such a little pink elephant. But I'm sure he'll come back if you keep drinking.

Jiro
07-10-2012, 04:30 PM
I've been sober for a month. Wait, no, not true; I had a drink last...Tuesday night. So I've been sober for a week. Anyway, that's not the point. The point is that you know stuff more than most of us so I use these experiences to learn without paying anybody any money.

EDIT: of course there's no dancing pink elephant on my desk. I don't have a desk. And if I did, I would look for him and if he wasn't there then clearly he isn't there. Seeing is believing :D? (Now I'm just smurfing with you :greenie:)

Tigmafuzz
07-11-2012, 07:21 AM
You can't prove a negative, only the lack of a positive. Put another way, the absence of evidence of a little pink elephant dancing on your desk is evidence of the absence of such a little pink elephant. But I'm sure he'll come back if you keep drinking.

Just because you can't see it doesn't mean he isn't there. Especially if there are parts of your desk you aren't able to observe.