Census Results - Get your slack asses in here. [Archive]

Jiro

07-21-2012, 04:53 AM

I thought we had best start with a positive one, seeing as both Vivi22 and I will probably want to bash our faces against the wall with some of your responses. We're going to begin with Favourite Boss, as that is exactly what I am and you are not. Let's see the results!

Favourite Boss
We speak English is this town so the letter U will be out in full force. Deal with it.

One Pointers

These are the poor sods who only got one vote. That's bad luck for them, but it might be bad luck for you too if you chose wrong.

Diamond WEAPON
Emerald WEAPON
Black Waltz #3
Omega Weapon (VIII)
ExDeath/NeoExDeath
Yu-Yevon
Dr. Cid Bunansa
Dadaluma
Diablos (VIII)
Yunalesca
Jenova LIFE
Seymour Omnis
Ultimecia
Golbez (DS Remake)

We have a rather varied line up here, covering quite a few of the games. I see quite a few entries from Final Fantasy VII which is pleasing to see, except for the fact that Jenova is a piece of tit. Whoever voted for Jenova LIFE needs a good smack across the face. That creepy headless smurf is not allowed in my Census.

Ultimecia wasn't a good boss either, so I don't know what's going on here. Perhaps the person who voted for her gets some kind of weird furry kick out of her fusion with Griever during the final battle. Need I say more?

Special mention goes to Bubbaforever for his vote toward Diablo who is one badass mothersmurfer.

GF Diablos. I wasn't expecting it (or ready for it!) after examining that lamp. It was just a really enjoyable fight which I won by the skin of my teeth! He was then my bitch. Awesome.

Here's to hoping Diablos and Bubbaforever are enjoying their dom/sub relationship on a romantic getaway while the rest of you sods suffer with your disappointing choices. There's a bloody bug, camp homocidal half-breed and an evil walking tin can moon man, for Christ's sake!

Second Place (2)
With all the one pointers out of the way, we step straight up into the finals. Coming in second position is the mothersmurfer known as Barthandelus.

http://images.wikia.com/finalfantasy/images/8/8d/Barthandelus_Third_Form.png

He makes three appearances in Final Fantasy XIII which gives him more than enough time to make an impression on our band of heroes. Too smurfing bad for them that he's some smurfed up god like thing who masquerades as an old dude. Reminds me off the battle between Yoda and Count Dooku in Star Wars Episode II: Attack of the Clones. After he's done being a strange old dude he turns into what I can only describe as a living tank which increases in awesome as you battle him. Plus he has all sorts of psycho alternatve forms too. smurf yeah.

First Place (4)
First place goes to Kefka, the creepy ass clown mothersmurfer from Final Fantasy VI. Now I don't know about you, but clowns scare the bejeesus outta me, so I can easily see why people would love killing him. I'm not really sure why people would vote him the best though - as he is clearly just something that should never have existed. smurf clowns, man.

http://media.tumblr.com/tumblr_li0rj4931J1qzihzq.gif

Let's here from a couple people on why Kefka is the "best" despite his meager four votes.

We'd seen multi-form bosses before, but the multi-tiered thing was new. I think it also mirrored the challenge of climbing the tower to get to him as well and was a nice gauntlet to be thrown into before the end. I think after the challenge of climbing his tower, being thrown into a single stage boss fight with him would have been underwhelming. Plus, Dancing Mad set the mood perfectly and really complimented the stages of fighting Kefka.

Well, fair enough. There wasn't really a need for an essay Mister Co-Host but you never were one for taking the short and simple road, were you? Gotta make tit harder for the rest of us. smurf.

Kefka, he is a douchebag lol

Glad to see you put a lot of thought into your response, Lionx! You provided such a persuasive argument in those five words and an acronym. Why can't someone just submit something USEFUL? SMURF.

What's the next category? Who knows! It might be something I choose, or it could be something from Vivi22! THE SUSPENSE IS KILLING YOU! :radred:

Wolf Kanno

07-21-2012, 05:52 AM

So it begins...

Fynn

07-21-2012, 07:38 AM

I can't remembre if I have any submissions here or not. Probably not though... Still, why so many of these! :eek:

Jiro

07-21-2012, 11:07 AM

This is pretty poor hype, but I should have expected as much in my absence. Keep your eyes peeled, for the companion to the Favourite Boss - the Least Favourite Boss - is coming right up! :hattip:

Jiro

07-21-2012, 11:25 AM

Least Favourite Boss

I don't really know what constitutes a good boss. Do they have to pay you well and treat you with respect? Oh, right, wrong kind of boss. But still - are the good bosses the easy ones, or the challenging ones? The purposeful ones, or the 2D flat as a board out of nowhere generic monster 2.0 kind? Honestly, you people have given me nothing to work with. I ought to be the boss and kick your asses back to the Beginner's Hall.

One Pointers

You have given me a gargantuan list of bosses with only one vote. Evidently the Final Fantasy series struggles at constructing bad bosses. We should write them a letter congratulating them on such an achievement. No boss is that hated that it scored a majority of votes, either. But let's take a look at the list, shall we?

Deathgaze (VI)
Demons Gate
Evrae
Twin Tania
Sin
Edea
Cloud of Darkness
Materia Keeper
Ultima Weapon (FFXI)
Omega (FFV)
Rufus
Zeromus
Ultros
Jumbo Cactuar
Tonberry King
Eidolon Battles (XIII)
Beatrix
Seymour Flux

I see Demons Gate makes an entry, but I'm not convinced that our voter was really sure what she was voting for.

What is that thing hiding in the door of the temple of the ancients? That thing. That's the one.

Grief, woman. You think you'd know something you hated! But at least you aren't this next dickhead.

Evrae, as its poison attacks are annoying and inconvenient, as well as its ability to move away, limiting your damage dealing potential. It makes the battle very challenging, especially for an unbalanced party.

You dislike this boss battle because it's too hard for a tit player like y- oh smurf that's my submission. Uhhh.

I also notice that Eidolon Battles makes an entry with one vote. Well if the idiots who voted for Jumbo Cactuar and Tonberry King had've been as forward thinking then perhaps the GF Battles from Final Fantasy VIII could have made a dramatic surge forward out of the pile of tit and into second place!

First Place (3)
Yep. That's right. Only one boss got more than one vote. In fact, he got three votes. Three votes is enough to be the least liked Final Fantasy boss on this damned site. I'd bet you Loony BoB could get more votes in a tittest villain contest. Honestly, what the hell is wrong with you people?

So in first place for Least Favourite Boss and in second place for Favourite Boss, you diptits have picked Barthandelus. Why do I even bother?

http://images.wikia.com/finalfantasy/images/8/8d/Barthandelus_Third_Form.png

Let's see what someone had to say...

Barthandelus, just a tedious long boss fight with little strategy involved to beat him and if you don't kill him fast enough he just casts doom on you, and then you have to start the whole tedious 20 minute long boss fight all over again...

Little strategy you say, Mister Wolf Kanno? Is that so... Well, I think you and your friend Loony BoB need to have some words because you obviously have markedly different opinions on what constitutes strategy!

I have no idea. Uhm. Probably one that required strategy, so Barthandelus in FFXIII (the one where you have to go all-out when he charges up).

Christ alive. I can't wait to see all the winners of favourite categories show up on the winners of least favourite categories too. What a bunch of bipolar backwards buttmonkeys.

Slothy

07-21-2012, 01:50 PM

Well, fair enough. There wasn't really a need for an essay Mister Co-Host but you never were one for taking the short and simple road, were you?

No.

Anyway, I'm going to get a category or two out of the way now since I'll be busy for the next few hours. Why will I be busy? Because the goddamn Batman is infinitely more interesting that you folks and doesn't give stupid answers in an FF census. The Batman doesn't let me down unlike you popsicle heads. Speaking of letting me down:

Best character (gameplay)

So bringing up the rear we've got the single votes:
Mog (VI)
Gau
Zack Fair
Vivi Orunitia
Kain Highwind
Cloud Strife
Vincent Valentine
General Leo Christophe
Red XIII
Zell Dincht
Eiko Carol
Cid Highwind
Adelbert Steiner

There's some good stuff here. Vivi obviously is awesome being the only black mage in FFIX. Steiner and Eiko are also quite useful through much of the game. General Leo is clearly OP and I expect a nerf in the next patch. Kain's Jump is always good, Gau is more useful than he looks, especially in low level play throughs, Zack is the only playable character in his own game, and while they may all be clones for the most part, at least that means Cid, Cloud, Vincent and Red XIII aren't useless.

But then we have a couple of weird ones. Mog? I love moogles as much as the next guy and Mog is king moogle, but his one special ability is uncontrollable, and by extension, unreliable in battle. At least Gau has that one specific instance where he becomes the single most useful guy in the game. What does Mog have? He dances. Fun to watch, a detriment in battle. I'd say the only guy more useless is Umaro, but I'm not even sure that's true. At least when he's being uncontrollable, he's also quite predictable.

And we've also got Zell in there. Who the hell voted for him?

Best character (gameplay): Zell

No explanation BoB? I see not even you can justify an answer so bad.

Next, it's a three way tie for second place with two votes each:
Sabin Rene Figaro
Squall Leonhart
Auron

Ok, so Auron I get, he's your pretty much standard tanking damage dealer for much of FFX. That's always a help rather than a hindrance. Squall can be justified as having the best limit breaks in FFVIII, but I'd disqualify him if I could because being the most useful character in FFVIII is like being the monkey that got hit by the least shit in a shit flinging contest.

Now Sabin is good, but his brother has attacks which are just as effective, hit all the enemies on screen earlier, and don't require button presses that make some of those nancy's who've never even heard of Street Fighter cry. So I suppose we'll probably see him in first place.

First Place:
Terra Branford

Huh? I kind of get it since she uses magic, but magic is limited, and a few hours into the game everyone has it. Oh that's right, she got another ability later on, I guess it must have been the most useful ability in the world. What was that again? Oh yeah, something called Morph. So what? she transformed into a Power Ranger and kicked a lot of ass in the Megazord did she?

When Terra trances, she transforms into an esper, the damage she deals is doubled, and the magic damage she takes is halved, but this does not work with defense-ignoring attacks.

Ok, well I guess that's not too bad. More damage dealt, less taken against spells. I mean, it's not entirely necessary because the battles in the game are incredibly easy anyway, and equipment can easily negate a lot of nasty stuff, but still, it's handy I suppose. But why wouldn't you just use this all the time? Why use her normal form at all?

Terra can only stay as an esper for a limited amount of time. Her ATB gauge slowly decreases as she is an esper, and when it empties, she turns back into a human. The length of time Terra can stay tranced depends on the amount of magic AP she has gained after battle. If she has not gained enough, she cannot trance.

So her one ability that makes her even marginally unique is entirely unnecessary because her magic is powerful enough anyway, and you can't use it all of the time? And she's the best character in the game gameplay wise? Over Edgar, the actual best character in the game?

Who wants a smack upside the head?

Best character (gameplay): Terra. She can do everything!

She can't use Tools (there's a misogynistic joke in there somewhere). Also, you're off the census committee.

Best character (gameplay): Terra. High magic power + Morph.

Which is entirely superfluous. You can join Velo in the unemployment line.

Oh god, even Wolf has turned against us? Ugh, fine, I'll at least let you make your case.

Best character (gameplay) - Terra, Great magic, can naturally learn Ultima, can equip the best weapons and armor in the game, and can be broken several different ways with different equipment set-ups. She's just a badass. She's also just fun to use the Esper system on and her unique equipment pool gives her plenty of options.

Well, I'll at least grant that you can break the game with her and she has equipment options. So you can stay. Though I find the idea of breaking a game that's already taken more of a beating than Batman's spine humourous and excessive.

Before I go watch Batman though, Edgar must have gotten some votes. Are you sure you counted correctly WK? Here, I'll post my response:

Best character (gameplay)
I'll go with Sabin for Blitz. Again, I really liked that system, and enjoyed using it more than most special abilities in most of the FF's. Most other characters don't require more than making menu selections, or don't differentiate enough to be that interesting on their own.

...

Fuck it, I'm going to watch Batman.

Jiro

07-22-2012, 03:44 AM

Worst Character (gameplay)

Well well well, since Vivi22 handled the Best Characters in terms of gameplay, I suppose I will take care of the opposite spectrum: the Worst Characters in terms of gameplay. I expect to see quite the line up of useless wackjobs here, but then you guys never were good at sticking to the plan.

One Pointers

As always, let's start by looking at the one pointers, those who are only a little bit tit. These guys are the ones you find in the reduced to clear bins whereas the winners find themselves just in the trash.

Umaro
Setzer Gabbiani
Selphie Timlett
Prince Gordon
Hope Estheim
Yuffie Kisaragi
Terra Branford
Aerith Gainsborough
Wakka
Cait Sith

Do my eyes deceive me, or has the winner of Best Character also shown up on the Worst Character list? Nope, there she is, Miss Terra Branford. It is utterly confirmed for me now; you're all a bunch of idiots. Well, to be fair, it was Loony BoB again so perhaps if we disqualify him from entering in the next Census, everything will be a little less skewed.

The presence of Umaro on the list is understandable, as a smurfing uncontrollable yeti is as far from the definition of "useful" as I can imagine. However he also has a piece of saving grace, and that is the fact that he can utterly destroy the Fanatic's Tower. Seriously, he will be the everloving smurf out of your enemies using your own party members as clubs. That has to at least get him out of the reduced to clear bin and onto the half price table.

I love the sasquatch, but I hate characters I can't control in battle. The closest you come to controlling him is equipping him with relics to give him new attacks, but even that's limited and leaves you exposed to the whims of a random number generator.
Oh, so he's a sasquatch. Whoops, my mistake. We also have this entry which somehow didn't earn a place on the list.

uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh yer mom?
My mother could kick your mother's ass. Trust me. I know.

We also see Aerith Gainsborough on the list and really I can easily see how some dead bitch is useless as a character. At least Auron is the awesome kind of dead character. Lastly, this little gem from Bubbaforever.

Wakka. FFX. I think there is an 'n' missing from his name.
Clearly his name should be Wankka and his faux Jamaican accent should become thick bogan. G'day Tidus ya bloody yobbo.

Third Place (2)
We have a two way tie for third place. First up is Zidane Tribal, the leading man from Final Fantasy IX. No, it wasn't a sword tail. As only one of our two voters game any sort of justification, it's up to Forsaken Lover to try and convince me how this obviously poor decision - have you ever seen a main character be the least useful character? - can be allowed to stand.

Zidane because most of his abilities were useless.
I beg to differ. Zidane is a thief and if you use him to steal - who would've thought! - then you can easily boost the power that his Thievery attack does to max before you're even half way through the game. He also ends up being quite a powerful physical attacker. Ergo, you're both wrong. Get out of my village.

http://images.wikia.com/finalfantasy/images/c/cf/Zidane.png

Our second character tied for third is none other than the namesake of our wonderful home of artistic talent, Relm Arrowny. Her Sketch ability is, I find, largely useless. Her magical ability is outclassed by other party members and the only positive thing I can say is that you can make her wear weird furry suits. I think this is really the first time I've truly agreed with you jackasses.

Relm. The game is telling you something when a skill is so bad it has the potential to corrupt your game file. Honorable mentions go out to any characters that are AI controlled.
VeloZer0 hits the nail on the head here. Relm's ability can quite easily fuck up everything. Don't touch her with a ten foot pole. Don't touch her at all, actually; that could net you a jail sentence.

http://starsmedia.ign.com/stars/image/object/142/14245842/relm-arrowny_pictureboxart_160w.jpg

First Place (3)

Another tie for first place. You are the most indecisive lot I've ever met. So our joint winners are musical pansy Edward Chris von Muir (aka Gilbert) and blue humanoid rhino Kimahri. Edward spends most of the time dead or using his special ability Hide, so clearly he's not that useful. Kimahri could be useful if you completely ignored the other six characters in Final Fantasy X. There is really not a whole lot I can do to argue for them being useful, and I'm too goddamned lazy to argue for why they are useless, so let's see what you had to say.

http://media.giantbomb.com/uploads/0/6539/223500-edward_chris_von_muir_pictureboxart_160w_large.jpg

Kimahri. No real niche for him means he's usually overlooked.

NOT A SMURFING THING. Thanks for your help, jackasses.

Kimahri, he's a jack of all trades master of none, in a game where most of your cast are specialist and can fight in every battle. So why do we need you then? Not to mention his Overdrives go to waste depending on what route you take. His Jump command is pretty crappy and can be outdone with a normal attack if you have the right weapon. Even his Blue Magic is really weak and lame in this entry. He's basically the token monster party member and his job role is trash bin.

http://images.wikia.com/finalfantasy/images/a/ae/Kimahri.jpg

There we have it folks. The worst characters in terms of gameplay. Seeing as half of you didn't give fucking reasons with your submissions, I'm not saying anything further. Except fuck you. Next category soon!

Jiro

07-22-2012, 07:35 AM

Do you like to travel? If no, then get out of my thread. If yes, what's your favourite way to travel? Hint: Not these ways!

Least Favourite Form of Travel

These are the methods of transport that make you want to bash your face against a pile of hardened chocobo manure all while screaming YOLO at the top of your lungs in a sad, ironic way. Needless to say that there really are some pathetic forms of transport out there, including Queensland Rail which - when compared to passenger rail in the rest of the world - looks worse than the tit cruising around most third world countries. But we're here to bitch about Final Fantasy transport, so let's take a look.

One Pointers

Not terrible, but not preferable, I would say.

Train
Wyvern
Chocobo
Teleportation
Story Gods Plot Carting
Cars

I... what? Are there really any other forms of transport left? You've basically listed every thing but the kitchen sink, plus this random "Story Gods Plot Carting" nonsense. What does that even mean?

Plot-carting. As long as I can move myself, I'm happy.
I STILL DON'T UNDERSTAND WHAT YOU MEAN. Provide an example with your abstract answers, folks! Otherwise I will have to point at you and laugh exactly like Tidus laughs; I know how much you love that. :radred:

I noticed that cars make an entry and really I have to point out that our voter was probably a terrible driver. Cars are a rapid form of ground transport with the added bonus of being able to be given lightning bolts and neons and nitrous boosts. You obviously just need to meet with my boy Xzibit so he can pimp yo ride.

Third Place (2)
Two votes were all it took to take these two tied transports to third place. I just comboed 9 T words there. Are you not amused? Fine, piss off then you sons of a submariner. Speaking of submarines, our first third place loser is the humble Boat. I guess our two voters are pretty pathetic pirates. Perhaps you ought to stop being such jelly legged wastrels and come set sail on Captain Maxx Power's Pirate Red Mage ship. You'll learn to be real men and wenches there. I should note, at least, that Spooniest only dislikes boats you can't drive.

Ships that you don't get to steer
I don't know though, this ship was still pretty smurfing baller.

http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-8BCq-1qBkzg/Te8ApQLbb4I/AAAAAAAAGIQ/dsu-F41ap_8/s640/Final_Fantasy_VIII_PSX_024.jpg

The second vehicle tied for third place is none other than Balamb Garden. Clearly the two voters here are extremely wrong, as without Balamb Garden being mobile, we would never have experienced the epic clash between Balamb and Galbadia Gardens. That is one of the most awesome parts of any game ever and therefore you are both wrong wrong wrong. Plus, what can be cooler than a floating military school? A floating military school that you're in charge of, no doubt. smurfing get some.

http://www.galbadiax.com/ff8/gardenflee.jpg

Once again, Loony BoB helps us out with his deeply incorrect insights. Maybe you need to be more like Shlup and not participate at all, dude. Save face and quit while you're miles behind.

Balamb Garden, oh man, slow much? And turning like a tanker.

First Place (6)
Holy mother of god am I seeing what I think I'm seeing?! Not only is the winner getting more than three votes, we also have ANOTHER smurfING TIE. However in the true nature of contests I am declaring an individual winner for this category. But first, which two forms of transport suck the most bollocks? Why, Walking of course. No wonder the western world has such a high level of smurfing obesity, you're all lazy pricks. Get off your fat ass and walk to the next town. You'll drop all that weight or you'll drop dead, either way is an improvement! Who knows, you might level up your walking ability until you can do this:

http://storage.siliconera.com/wordpress/wp-content/uploads/2010/12/image_thumb351.png

The other transportation method is the Buggy. Despite the fact that it has badass lightning bolts and tit, you people all whinge about having to fight battles with it. It's not like the big 12 ft monster really just sees you coming and goes "oh that little buggy is so scary I might just move to the side" no it stands there and tries to stomp on your privileged little heads. Have a sook you soft cocks. Honestly, the only real downside to the Buggy is that it becomes replaced by the Tiny Bronco approximately 13 seconds after you get it.

http://www.ffshrine.org/ff7/buggy.jpg

No matter, though, as it is officially the worst form of transportation. The Buggy receives an extra vote due to this comment:

I was originally going to say Chocobo but I'm instead going to say cars. This includes FFVII's Buggy and FFVIII's rental cars. They don't stop encounter rates, they have arbitrary uses, and in VIII's case, I have to supply fuel for it. No thank you. I'll take a smelly bird, flying school or the slowest airs...er spaceship in the franchises history..

As you can see, it's Wolf Kanno's fault cars was listed as a goddamn one pointer but at the very least he can be happy knowing his vote made all the difference once I meddled. So much for statistical accuracy, right?

Jiro

07-22-2012, 02:09 PM

The negative nancy-fest continues as we move onto a category I've been anticipating for a long while.

Least Favourite Skill

You people shouldn't really be allowed to vote here. Just because you have no skills doesn't mean you can be all butthurt and talk about how tit this skill is and that skill is. It's like saying "oh no I hate BMWs because of this and this" when we all know you're just angry 'cause you can't afford it. (Don't worry, I'm on your side with this one. smurf BMWs, the drivers are always idiotic and need to be paid a visit by 8-Ball from GTA3.)

One Pointers

Doom
Thunder Slash
Chocobuckle
Peep/Scan
Trance (FFVI) (aka Morph right?)
Catch/Tame
Eat/Cook
Jinx

So it's a pretty plain line up, all things considered. I tend to agree with most of them. Doom is useless as it rarely hits enemies that take you longer than 60 seconds to kill. Scanning an enemy to see how much health it has is outclassed by the fact you can just beat the tit out of them. Eating enemies is a pain in the butt, although the prize of Blue Magic makes it a little more useful than most. And Jinx merely raises your magic stat, right? And when punching things is more effective than setting them on fire, increasing your magic is a waste of time. There really are a lot of nerfed abilities in these games.

Second Place (2)

We have a three way tie for second, as opposed to the usual two way tie for third. In any case, we have a trio of sorta tit abilities. Or so it seems. Pray is first. Pray restores a small amount of health for absolutely free. Early on, that's actually smurfing useful. Save cash money on potions and just pray. I bet that's why the USA seems so hyper-religious; they're trying to pray away their ails because the medical system is absolutely smurfing bonkers. Hide is next, and its only real use is preventing Edward Chris von Muir from being dead. Seeing as he was one of the worst characters, this ability probably ought to have won it. Last up we have Steal. You people are idiots if you think nicking sweet equipment isn't useful. It's the easiest way to slaughter your enemies with early hardcore equipment in Final Fantasy VII. It's a good way to stock up on healing items in ALL GAMES. And it makes Zidane easily the most overpowered character before you leave the Evil Forest, if you're dedicated enough. Which, seeing as he was also up for worst character, it seems you aren't. Let's see if any of you can come up with good reasons for this, shall we?

Hide (FFIV). What possible use does having one character out of the battle give me? Edward does suck, but give him a Dream Harp and he can at least help with crowd control. Hiding is a waste.
At least I agree with you!

Pray. Good skill to blow a turn when you're not doing something else, I guess...?
I... don't disagree with you? What is going on here? Maybe you people are finally starting to see the light. We've finally gotten through!

Steal actually. With the exception of FFIX I've never really used it. I know there are benefits, like stealing rare items or saving gil from not having to buy items, but I've rarely found the games challenging enough to warrant it's use. Usually I'd rather plow through with damage dealing skills instead.
Well at least he's accurate, right? I can't badmouth Vivi22 too much anyway, as he will break down my door and then smack me in the face.

First Place (6)

That leaves us with the top spot. It goes to a special little something I like to call Gil Toss. I don't need to explain how wholly useless it is. Paying money to deal damage you yourself could probably do more than? Simply incomprehensible. The time and effort and battling needed to have enough money to make this a worthwhile skill actually levels you to the point where it isn't. So stop smurfing throwing money around and start punching things in the face. Jesus H Christ, you should save that cash for the casino.

Gil Toss. I usually need that money.

Gil Toss (why waste money when one can kick ass for free!!!!!!)

Money can be infinitely more useful than just tossing at enemies. Buy a couple of big, pointy rocks and toss them instead.

http://images.wikia.com/finalfantasy/images/a/aa/Ffxii_Gil_Toss.png

Del Murder

07-22-2012, 05:23 PM

Who is this mean person and what did he do with Jiro. :(

Jessweeee♪

07-22-2012, 05:58 PM

Balamb Garden was a pain in the ass to drive but it's SO. COOL. I mean how bad ass would it be if you got to drive your college campus around the world?

Jinx

07-22-2012, 06:00 PM

Who is this mean person and what did he do with Jiro. :(

I like it. Very manly. ;D

Slothy

07-23-2012, 03:01 AM

Who is this mean person and what did he do with Jiro. :(

It seems I taught him well. Perhaps a bit too well since he's taking all of the least favourite results.

Well, you know what young Mr. Jiro? Anyone can be negative when given such ample fodder as the seething hatred of an entire forum. It takes a truly bitter and spite filled human being to deliver such disgust as the world has never seen when confronting their love and enthusiasm however. Indeed, I'm absolutely sickened by the positive emotions regularly displayed by these sorry meat sacks and lone genderless robot. So allow me to once more crush your hopes, spit on your dreams, and flay alive any feelings of happiness you still have.

For now we come to:

Favorite customization system (job,materia,sphere grid, etc...)

Of course, we start with the single votes. The ones so miserably unpopular that only the most broken of spirits and shattered of psyche's would ever vote for them.

Dead last:
License Board
FFXIII-2 Monster Development

Yes, the license board. Much of it's hate probably stems from the mistaken impression that FFXII is a bad game. Given how many of you count FFVII among your favourites, and even consider FFXIII to be worth playing for more than five minutes, your opinions are worth less than nothing. I won't claim the license board is anything special however. It does the job and is functional, but there's little else to say about it.

FFXIII-2 is something I'm not familiar with, but safe to assume that by carrying the number XIII it is utterly offensive to the senses. Who would vote for such a thing anyway?

Favorite customization system (job,materia,sphere grid, etc...)
FFXIII-2 Monster development!

No surprises here, and just as wrong as ever I see.

Next we have a tie for almost dead last with 2 votes each:
FFTactics Jobs- 2 total votes
FFIX Ability System - 2 total votes

Once again, we see how much you all disgust me if these two lovely systems only got 2 votes each. FF Tactics, hailed by many as the best game to carry the name Final Fantasy and equipped with a customization system rife with job classes, useful abilities, and a large degree of customization combined with sufficient limitations to allow for interesting decisions and combinations. Obviously such a marvelous system is lost on fools such as yourselves.

FFIX, by the same token, is in many ways a simplified version of FF Tactics but no less rich in strategy and experimentation. Job classes themselves are set, but with a rich variety of additional abilities to learn and select from, there are myriad variations in party builds which are a delight to explore, yet once again we find brilliance lost on you all. All, save perhaps my partner in crime for this event.

Favorite customization system (job,materia,sphere grid, etc...)
I think the ability system in IX was very versatile, without being easily broken. You have to balance which abilities are most important as you only have limited AP to equip them, and to even learn them you have to decide whether to sacrifice better equipment or not.

I'd like to wish that you were as disappointed in yourselves as I am, but we all know that to be impossible.

Instead we shall move on to another tie with 3 votes each.

Second Place:
FFV Jobs- 3 total votes
Sphere Grid - 3 total votes

And once again, we see the preference for shallow, unfulfilling tripe over actual substance on display. I can little complain about FFV. It was a brilliant system for many of the reasons Tactics was, and we could imagine that that game would be unrecognizable had it not been for FFV laying it's brilliant ground work. Yet only 3 people recognize it. And shall we hear from one of those 3?

Favorite customization system (job,materia,sphere grid, etc...)
FFV's job system. It was just the right amount of limiting to force you to make strategic choices in building a party, yet you've got so many options it's almost overwhelming. There's a lot there to experiment with, and being able to learn and equip abilities with any class was huge at the time. I'm almost tempted to go with FFT's take on it instead, but it's a bit of a toss up so I'll go with the first one to really perfect the system in my eyes.

Little surprise who voted that way. I suggest you all take note of what an acceptable answer looks like.

Now for the final tie for First Place:
Materia - 7 total votes

Ah yes. That one from the fan favourite title which everyone loves to put on their rose coloured nostalgia glasses for. Really now? I'll grant that the Materia system allowed you to customize abilities beyond simple attack and item however you wanted. But it ceases to be interesting beyond that. The minor stat changes and abundance of materia slots for the necessary abilities, combined with the general lack of difficulty all lead to one inescapable conclusion: for all of it's supposed customization, FFVII offer little in the way of interesting choices to be made. Where's the excitement when there is no appreciable consequence to your decisions? When trading a weaker piece of gear and some stats for more materia has absolutely no effect on how you progress? How can naming such a system to first even be defensible?

In fact, only one person tried to defend it:

Favorite customization system (job,materia,sphere grid, etc...) Materia, what could possibly outmatch the thrill of overloading yourself with abilities simply by packing your body with glowing marbles?

Off the top of my head, choices that actually mattered could outmatch it easily. Hell, I find the choice of whether or not I'm going to shave today infinitely more interesting.

But I said there was a tie for first didn't I. So without further ado:

Job System (General) - 7 total votes

Now this is certainly a better choice, sort of. In the sense that it's a choice that's not the Materia system. But what is this non-commital load of horsefeathers? There have been several job systems over the years, each with a substantially different implementation than the others. Yet here we have people who are either so ill prepared, grossly uninformed, or completely incapable of casting a specific vote that instead they simply said job and left it at that. Instead of committing to one great system to stand out amongst the dregs that this series has frequently thrown upon us we get guarded and fearful half answers.

Frankly, you all disgust me. So given my powers as a Starfleet Captain I hereby disregard all votes for the Materia system, and count all votes for the "job" system as being for FFV and declare that the undisputed winner. If you have any problems with that, you can take it up with my chief of security.

36599

Now finally, before I go, we have something new we're starting this year. Throughout the results reveal we will be giving out various awards to this years participants. In usual census fashion, you don't want to win any of them.

Now this first award is a special one because we have a three way tie. Now as some of you may or may not be aware, participation in the forum census by the female gender is somewhat lacking. This time around, we literally had 3 young ladies enter. That's 3 out of a total of 24 entries. Not even 15% of the responses were by women. But surely the staff must be doing their part: leading by example as it were? Surely our resident Cid's Knights and Administrators who happen to possess vagina's got their entries in?

You'd think so wouldn't you. Now without further ado, I present:

The award for most active female forum staff who consistently disappoint me by failing to participate in a forum event no matter how much HC spams their inbox or I berate them for their undeniable apathy:

And the winners are, in no particular order of course:
Pike
FOA
Shlup

This census has been in need of better representation from the fairer sex from the beginning, yet these pillars of the community failed to get their entries in. Shlup in particular has decided to abstain in several of these over the years. I even berated her repeatedly for it in one reveal some time ago. At this point, I'm at a loss as to what would get her to actually send us a response since the insults aren't working.

So I leave it to you, people of EOFF. Is this forum event something you enjoy? Do you expect better of the people who protect you and nurture the... well welcoming probably isn't the best word... slightly less toxic than other forums perhaps, environment that we have here? Does not participation make all events more enjoyable? So I say demand that they show more interest. They should be first in line to participate in all forum events and yet they have been nowhere to be found.

So to end this post I will leave you with the names of the three who were kind enough to participate. For there is a storm coming, and may they take their rightful places when the glorious revolution is ended and the apathetic are laid low:

Freya
Melissaur
Jessweeee♪

I think Jessweeee♪ in particular deserves special mention. I have never failed to berate her opinions and treat her as though she is something less than human since I took over the census results for her inexplicable love of games like FFXIII, and if memory serves, FFVIII. Yet she responds everytime we start a new thread mining for answers which we will inevitably use against every last one of you. It's easy to support an event when you aren't continuously picked out of the crowd for being wrong, yet she takes it like a champ and keeps coming back for more.

For that she has my respect. Because god knows she'd never earn it for her taste in games.

Jessweeee♪

07-23-2012, 03:28 AM

I love you too Vivi22 and also FFXIII is great.

:smash:

Hollycat

07-23-2012, 04:16 AM

[QUOTE=Del Murder;3105420]
The award for most active female forum staff who consistently disappoint me by failing to participate in a forum event no matter how much HC spams their inbox or I berate them for their undeniable apathy:

.

I was mentioned, now I can die happy.

Jiro

07-23-2012, 04:49 AM

It pleases me to see that the Job System, if nothing else, made it to the top spot. For you see, it really is one of the most creative things the Final Fantasy series has ever made - without it sucking of course - and so I'd like to give you a chance to improve your standing in not only my eyes but the eyes of the good man himself, Vivi22. He hurts for you, people of EoFF. You cause him great pain and suffering. Let's try not to do that with this one, okay?

Favourite Job Class System

You all know what job systems are. 7 of you correctly voted for it in the previous category. Let's see which one you think is best. Suit up, gentlemen.

One Pointers

A job is not just a job. There's a difference here as there are differences in meatspace. Do you want a system that's horribly bias against you? No, of course not.

Final Fantasy XI
Final Fantasy Tactics Advance 2

I was confused, for a minute, by the presence of Final Fantasy XI. I thought surely Loony BoB would have voted for the fourteenth instalment despite its tendency to utterly suck bollocks. But it turns out the vote was actually from Del Murder. Let's see what his reasoning was.

FFXI. Because everyone else will vote V or Tactics.
Wait, what? You're voting one way because everyone else will vote another? Way to skew the Census, pops! But at least you can recognise greatness, so you're spared some wrath this time.

Fourth Place (2)

Now we're starting to make progress. Sitting in fourth place with a total of two votes is...Final Fantasy XIII's Paradigms. I cannot believe only two people could see that the stripped back and simplified job system contained within Final Fantasy XIII was immensely well conceived. Look at the sheer number of combinations a party could have. Not only that, but each Paradigm set up has its own name, which scores several points of awesome in my book. I simply cannot comprehend why you people are so smurfing negative when it comes to this game to the point where you cannot even see the component pieces that are masterfully done.

Paradigms. I have not played FF I through VI so I don't have that many options, but I found the paradigm system to actually bring strategy to many fights. Although the dress spheres were also kind of nice.
You should endeavour to play the rest of the games as soon as possible good sir. Otherwise I will have to mock you in due fashion.

http://onelonegamer.files.wordpress.com/2011/10/xiii-paradigms.jpg

Third Place (4)

Look at how well we've done here to almost have a perfect podium set up. Congratulations on not sucking at that, this time. In third position we have some quite amazing; Final Fantasy X-2's Dresspheres. It's more than a simple dress up game, and was in some respects the basis for the Paradigm system seen later anyway. Fitting, then, that it would receive a couple more votes due to the one winning ingredient that Final Fantasy XIII left out: fanservice. :jess:

http://www.gamer.ru/system/attached_images/images/000/036/721/normal/Ffx2-samurai.jpg?1246871807

I actually loved the Dressphere thing, some of the outfits were hot and some were crazy-hot, though I admit some were just crazy :eep:

The job system of X-2, while primarily fanservice, was great in that you could switch to a select number of other jobs during the middle of battle. It gave you some functionality without making it a simple game of "pick the best class", but rather you had to balance your garment grids and then make the right choices during battle.

As you can gather, fanservice does play a role in the "popularity" of the system, however don't underestimate it. There is a wide variety of jobs with numerous abilities to learn, and you can switch between classes mid-battle. That sounds like a pretty good gig to me.

First Place (6)

Here's the gold medal time and once again we have a tie. While that would previously have angered me, I am beaming at that fact that you might just have made Vivi22 cry tears of joy. Why? Well, simply because our two first place entries are Final Fantasy V's Job System and Final Fantasy Tactics' Job System. You have redeemed yourselves somewhat. Try not to smurf it up.

http://www.futuregamez.net/pspgames/fftactics/fftactics1.jpg

As Vivi22 was the only one with enough eloquence to put his thoughts on either job system into words, and as Vivi22 already used that explanation in the category prior, let me just remind you one last time that you haven't let us down this time. I know you can feel the excellence in these two systems.

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v290/flucked/ffv.jpg

Let me wrap this category up with Bubbaforever's entry. Ever the comedian, isn't he?

www.jobsite.co.uk (http://www.jobsite.co.uk/)

Jinx

07-23-2012, 05:21 AM

Oh, Bubba. <3

Jiro

07-23-2012, 10:40 AM

Do you like to get around? Like getting out and about? Cruising around town, wind in your hair. Yeah, you love it. Come with me baby, let's go for a ride. Where we going? Who knows, anywhere will do. It's not about the destination, it's about the journey. You feel me?

Favourite Form of Travel

We looked at the crappiest forms earlier. Seems like you don't like cars. That's too bad. Cars have some pretty badass qualities. Picking up chicks in a car is easy. You obviously just don't get it. Oh well, let's see what kind of transport you do like. Whatever it is, you better paint some badass stripes on it or something.

One Pointers

Trains
Walking
Tiny Bronco

Pretty sure I voted for trains there. I love trains. You people need to take trains more often. They're awesome. Fast, efficient, got a nice little SeeD cabin to chill out in. That's what I'm talking about. Tiny Bronco is pretty wicked too, I have to admit. Here's another smurfing essay from Vivi22.

You know, I'm going to have to go with the plane in FFVII I think. Sure, airships are cool, but that plane limited your movement just enough to let you explore every nook and cranny of the waterways trying to see where you could go and what was there. Even if there wasn't a whole lot it was still fun. Airships tend to open things up too much so the world has little mystery left. There's a reason you typically only get them when the world is fully explored (exception being the World of Ruin and the combined world in FFV I guess). Mechanically I just find airships quite dull. They're a means to cut down on time to travel back to old locations, and that's about it.
Flying Arrow is my favourite member of the forum at the moment. Why? Flying Arrow is the one who likes to walk everywhere. He didn't give an explanation, but I know why he picked it. 'cause he doesn't want to be a fat slob breaking the back of the chocobos carting him around. Hey, speaking of chocobos...

Second Place (4)
Chocobos come in second place! These feathery friends are a quick, combat-less method of transport that always brings its very own travelling music. There's nothing quite like the thrill of cruising around on one of these fellas. You can even race them for fun and profit!

So probably Flying Black Chocobo, yes they can only land in forests but they tend to be connected to fun dungeons and their music is usually quite excellent.
Nobody else could really tell me why chocobos were so great but I already know. They're just fun. It makes me get a giant grin every time I think about running about on one of these guys. Seriously. :bigsmile: It's also incredible how a full party can fit on a single chocobo. All aboard the chocotrain! Woot wark!

http://www.creativeuncut.com/gallery-08/art/ffta2-chocobo-ride2.jpg

So long as we ignore the stupid chocobo birds stupid smurfing Final Fantasy X zero seconds goddammit.

First Place (16)
Overkill. Look at that. Sixteen smurfing votes. I think the only time this forum was so unanimous in a decision is when Pike won all those smurfing Ciddies. Look at that. smurf. Me. It's hard to go wrong with Airships though. They are a staple of the series, and with so many to choose from, it is little wonder that airships received such love. Hell, I even wrote an article (http://home.eyesonff.com/content/1904-ten-top-ff-airships.html) on it. Airships are kind of like flying boats with way more badassitude than cars.

I've always wished that we could keep the bike in VII, but aside from that, flight is the way to go. So, airships it is. You realize that if they could lower a rope over the barrel of Junon's cannon to rescue Tifa, they also could have lowered a rope onto that island with the KoTR materia, but the programmers needed an excuse to make the Golden Chocobo necessary. Sad, sad, sad. :cry:
The rest of the comments - and there really are few comments considering the level of voting - talk mostly about speed and access. Honestly though, we all know being faster isn't always better. Sometimes you need the firepower to back it up. Just don't try to look like you're overcompensating. Well, once again you're not been a let down. You've been incredibly unoriginal and predictable, and a little bland and boring, but I don't have to kill you yet.

http://images.wikia.com/finalfantasy/images/3/3b/Ragnarokairship.jpg

Jiro

07-23-2012, 10:47 AM

We interrupt your regularly scheduled programming for a special update! It's time for the "How Wrong Is Loony BoB?" award! Let's have a look at the results. I've even presented it in pie chart form just for your viewing entertainment :shobon:

http://db.tt/kYH5HVha

As you can see, Loony BoB is frequently wrong! I'm afraid this might mean he's excluded from further Censi (totally a word) based on the fact that his opinion is wrong. Don't like it? Run the Census yourself then, jackasses. :argh:

Rantz

07-23-2012, 11:23 AM

Gil Toss is one of the most ridiculous things in Final Fantasy overall. Do you just throw coins in their eyes or something? Thousands of them!? Do you throw them one at a time, or more like SHUT UP AND TAKE MY MONEY?

36600

Jinx

07-23-2012, 03:12 PM

Jessweeee♪

07-23-2012, 03:38 PM

I sometimes end up using it against Yunalesca's final form. Like "oh tit I know I can kill her with a few more hits but she might kill everyone in this next turn RIKKU GIVE HER ALL OF OUR MONEY"

Also if I had known my vote for the Ragnarok was going to be lumped in with all airships I would have voted for the Garden :mad2:

Jinx

07-23-2012, 03:42 PM

Does Gil Toss work well against Yunalesca?

Jessweeee♪

07-23-2012, 03:49 PM

The damage done by Gil Toss is only affected by how much Gil you throw. I believe it's the gil you throw divided by ten rounded to the nearest whole number. So it's as effective against Yunalesca as it is against anything else. Handy in that rare situation where you've almost finished something off and you need a guaranteed kill in one turn.

Del Murder

07-23-2012, 04:25 PM

I like the Gil Toss adaptation in FFX, where you are paying Yojimbo to do things for you. That makes more sense.

Jessweeee♪

07-23-2012, 04:42 PM

Except nobody knows how the fuck it works. You throw all of your gil away for nuthin' :mad2:

Hollycat

07-23-2012, 04:43 PM

give yojimbo ten gil or more and he will stay and attack, less and he leaves.

Jinx

07-23-2012, 04:46 PM

Who actually used Yojimbo? I only get him so I can get the Magus Sisters.

Slothy

07-23-2012, 04:58 PM

Time for another reveal. Now for those that don't know, while I can be a bit of an obnoxious, self-righteous, hateful ass sometimes, I'm generally not that bad all of the time, or even most of the time. In fact, I find laying it on as thick as I do in the census reveal to be emotionally draining. Far more than you might expect because I really have to throw myself into it to the point of almost believing the things I say. This is why the reveal usually took me the better part of a week in the past. But since Jiro is co-hosting and we want things to move along a bit more quickly than they previously have (and seriously, these write ups take longer than you'd expect), I'm going to drop the shtick for a few minutes to give myself a mental break and keep on updating for you folks. I'll probably still offer up some criticism of your choices, but it won't be filled with quite so much seething rage.

Moving on. We're going to reveal the results for:

Favorite dungeon

Coming in dead last are the usual 1 vote entries:
Cleft of Dimensions
Ultimecia Castle
Tomb of the Unknown King
Pandemonium
Temple of the Ancients
Deep Sea Research Center
Shin-Ra Building
Archylte Steppe (XIII-2)

I don't have too much to say here. Most are bit meh for me, but the Shin-Ra Building stands out for being quite a unique dungeon experience. More like part dungeon, part town really given the large sections with no combat. It also has the distinction of setting up a mystery which is far cooler than its eventual resolution.

Cleft of Dimensions was also cool, but I'll let Velo explain why:

Favorite dungeon: Cleft of Dimension
I thought it was cool how you just went through all of these incredibly non sequitur locations.

Pretty much what I was thinking. It's a bit of an interesting journey through seemingly unrelated areas which were pulled into the void. Certainly an experience to say the least since you never know where you'll end up.

Second Place:
Lunar Subterrane – 2 total votes
Memoria - 2 total votes

Confession time: I barely remember Memoria. Why? Because despite FFIX being one of my favourite FF titles, I've found the time to beat it precisely once over the years. Yep, I've owned it for 12 year now, have played through large portions of it multiple times, consider it easily one of my top 3 FF titles, but I've yet to see the final dungeon for a second time. Can anyone else explain why it's worthy of second place?

Favorite dungeon: Memoria!

Favorite dungeon: Memoria

I guess not, though Freya's exclamation mark does shed some light on the mystery.

Luckily, I am far more familiar with the Lunar Subterrane. A wonderful place filled with cool gear, tough enemies, tougher bosses, and all kinds of hidden paths and secrets to explore. Were it not for the stupid encounter rates in FFIV I'd say it was a contender for first, so second is pretty good.

First Place:
Kefka’s Tower - 3 total votes
Northern Crater - 3 total votes

And here we are. The top two. FFVII shows its inexplicable popularity again. I'm not sure why people like the Northern Crater this much as I remember it being pretty unremarkable. I'd like to give someone's explanation, but no one backed up their choice. So I guess we'll just have to assume that you folks just like big giant holes.

But Kefka's Tower makes sense to me. A three party boss gauntlet with multiple sections where all parties are needed to advance, with some cool gear, epic battles, great music, and of course, it ends in one of the best final boss fights with the best final boss theme in the series.

Favorite dungeon
Kefka's Tower. By that point you'd been introduced to splitting up parties, but never forced to do it with three whole groups. Add in that the whole thing was a bit of a puzzle and one long boss rush and it made getting to Kefka feel as epic as it should have. Especially if many of your characters were under leveled. It also feels a lot more like the final showdown if you have to bring almost every character you have out of a cast of 14. Brilliant design for a game with such a huge cast. Simply heading into the final dungeon with 4 people wouldn't have cut it.

Favorite dungeon: Kefka's Tower, for embodying just what happened to the world.

Not really gameplay related but we'll take it.

Favorite dungeon - Kefka's Tower, I mean it involved three parties doing a massive switch puzzle and it's combined with a heavy dose of Boss Rush, including a rematch with Ultima Weapon, finally tackling the unstoppable Crusader, and battling the awakened Warring Triad. All this, just before you meet up with Kefka himself and his four tier boss battle done to the best final boss theme in the series. It was the right combination of puzzles, good boss battles, and excellent pacing as you climbed the tower that really set the pace for the climax of the story.

I don't think anyone's surprised that WK and myself agree.

Well, that was nice and relaxing. Which of course means that Jiro will have to be twice as hateful in his next post.

Though not to leave you all without some hatred: FFXIII's paradigm system is terrible Jiro and I should toss you off the census committee for even implying it's good. Luckily for you I'm being nice this post. :D

Loony BoB

07-23-2012, 04:58 PM

Slothy

07-23-2012, 05:02 PM

Disqualify me from entering the next census? Hey, at least I'm not biased towards my favourite and least favourite characters. Aeris is by far my least liked character but I can still appreciate her gameplay value. This is a gameplay census that clearly suffers from favouritism. >=|

To be fair, every census has had more than it's fair share of favourtism and participants ignoring instructions. You just happen to be more fun to pick on than most of them because you're staff and we don't like you. :D

Quindiana Jones

07-23-2012, 05:12 PM

Good to see Vivi's got his hate back on!

Slothy

07-23-2012, 05:21 PM

(with Sabin it seems to not appreciate my input when it deals with diagonal directions, which is frustrating).

I completely skimmed over this before. Did no one ever tell you about the alternate inputs for Blitz commands? Basically anytime you see a diagonal input you can simply press the direction before it again. So instead of a quarter-circle for Aura Bolt, try down, down, left instead. This works for every blitz input, including the obnoxious Bum Rush.

Forsaken Lover

07-23-2012, 05:50 PM

The Northern Crater is tied for First Place?

It's a big hole in the fucking ground. WOWZERS.

Granted I don't even think Memoria is my favorite dungeon. I just voted for it because I knew FFXII wouldn't be getting any votes. No matter how much I love the Great Crystal and Pharos, everyone else will whine about them.

Thanks for quoting me a few times though. I feel special.

Jinx

07-23-2012, 06:13 PM

Memoria is kind of cool. You have all the different bizzaro rooms and stuff. And how "you can't see this memory, because you weren't there, you idiot."

Wolf Kanno

07-23-2012, 09:06 PM

My name! It was mentioned! And therefore.

Barthandelus is, thus far, the only boss I have fought that has required me to actually figure out a strategy. Perhaps this is mostly down to me loving to get my characters really powerful before fighting bosses (eg. getting max'ed out materia, getting maximum junction magic going on, using hero potions etc.). The other bosses I've fought in I, II, V, VII, VIII, X and XII all allowed me to overpower my characters should I wish it, and in the cases of at least half of them my characters were already overpowered anyway. That to me wasn't strategy, so yeah.

Dude, the only strategy involved with Barthandelus is "kill him faster" which isn't much of a strategy if you ask me, which is not even terribly hard if you've actually been updating your weapons like you should be.

Terra is boring as hell. I have never come across a character I have cared less about despite clearly being a major player. I don't know why. She just never came across as interesting to me. She has an interesting background, yes, but background does not a personality make. She could be the lovechild of Kefka and Ultimecia and her daughter could be Quina but all that would mean is that those three interesting characters would have a very boring relative that links them together. As for her skills, all she does is turn into some Espery weirdness. It's the same with Rinoa, and I think it's the most utterly boring skill of any of the VI characters. I'm glad she's rarely forced upon the player.

You could not be more wrong, Terra spends the first half of her game trying to find out who she is, why she has magic and dealing with the burden this power she never asked for has on her life, as everyone, including the Returners, simply see her as a tool for their war. After she discovers her true origins, she spends the rest of the game questioning her very humanity, wondering if she could ever find a place for herself in a world that fears her and wants to use her only for her power, or must she be like the espers who placed themselves into self-exile to save themselves from the greed of humanity. Terra hesitantly chooses to use her powers for the greater good in order to save both sides of her lineage, but even by Thamasa, she is still questioning her decision, and her place in the world. Only in the World of Ruin does she find her salvation and raison d' etre by meeting the orphaned children of Mobliz, in the beginning she lies to the children in order to be accepted, but when her true friends and the children really need her, she finally awakens her true power. She is rewarded because instead of being ostracized and feared like she was before, the children of Mobliz accept Terra for who she is.

This all intertwines with Terra's theme and story about the hope of a new generation. Terra was born to be the bridge between espers and humanity that were thought to be unable to co-exist, and later she finds her own hope in a new generation that has not been tainted by the bias of the past and she is finally able to be accepted and to accept others who need her for who she is and not simply for her powers that have defined her and marked her all her life. In the very end, her strong ties to other people, allow her to escape the fate of the doomed espers and she is granted the normal life she always wanted. I don't quite fathom how any of this is boring. :p

Gameplay-wise, Terra is a Red Mage with a really nasty equipment and magic pool that makes her the ultimate jack-of-all-trades in her party in terms of offense. Her Trance/Morph skill is awesome because it's the only skill that doesn't lose its usefulness by end game. Especially in the GBA version with the Dragon's Den and Soul Shrine. The rest of the casts skills grow useless as the game goes on but, Morph/Trance allows Terra to be pretty much unstoppable. Not to mention it's incredibly useful in low level runs because it allows her to do incredibly damage and take lots of punishment at lower levels than other characters who need lots of abuse of the esper/relic system to come close to pulling off the same kind of theatrics.

Disqualify me from entering the next census? Hey, at least I'm not biased towards my favourite and least favourite characters. Aeris is by far my least liked character but I can still appreciate her gameplay value. This is a gameplay census that clearly suffers from favouritism. >=|

You've discovered the ulterior motive of the census, and it only took you two years. :p

Jiro

07-24-2012, 02:33 AM

It's good to see that my constant prickery (totally a word) has managed to spark a little bit of discussion. Honestly though, I'm just smurfing with you all. Thanks for being good sports! There are no right or wrong answers in the Census!*

Least Favourite Customisation System

Let's take a look at which of these fine setups you hated the most. If it were up to me, we'd have a lot of ties for first place seeing as "customisation" also seems to stand for "making clone armies" in Final Fantasy. I thought the term was meant to imply a certain level of uniqueness.

One Pointers

Natural Progression (FFII)
Materia
Character Class (IV/IX)
Espers/Relic

Disappointed to see the creative genius that is Natural Progression sitting there. Why would anyone hate a game that rewards you for wailing on team mates? You're obviously doing things wrong.

Whatever you call FFII's system. The beat-up-your-own-characters-to-build-your-stats system.
I should've known it'd be you, pops! You're making me sad. Maybe I need to make a pie chart for you, too. :(

Fourth Place (3)
Chilling here is the License Board. I'll tell you why it sucked because I'm one of the three people who voted for it. Bloody thing isn't even real customisation.

The License Board was a good concept that ultimately fell short. It was far too easy to just grind for LP and fill the board entirely, instead of making choices about where to go next as was the case with the Sphere Grid.
See? It's bollocks. Waste of time. How does it even work, anyway? I'm sorry you can't use that axe because you don't have the right license! WHAT THE smurf SERIOUSLY COME ON.

http://rpgaming.info/wp-content/uploads/2007/11/licenseboard.png

First Place (5)
We've got a three way tie for first position, and frankly, you're all wrong. Well no, that's not true. Five of you are correct. First of all, we have the Junction system. It might be easily exploited but "easy" doesn't really discount the fact that it can be horribly horribly time consuming. I think our voters are either too lazy and stupid to make it work, or just didn't know how to vote for something truly tit.

I guess I'd say Junctioning. That's system seemed bitchy.
What does that even mean?

http://images.wikia.com/finalfantasy/images/1/1e/Junction.PNG]

Our next tied position and once again the wrong decision is the Sphere Grid. You guys wouldn't know customisation if it ran up and smacked you in the face with the Buster Sword and then ran off humming a chocobo theme. smurfing hell. Maybe you just didn't get the Expert Grid. The Expert Grid is amazingly good for customisation. It's so good at making things customised that you could potentially smurf everything up. You only hate that if you're a useless wimp, so suck it, suckers.

Sphere Grid. Didn't get it.
Precisely.

http://www.ffnemesis.com/ff10/images/sphere_grid.jpg

The last and only acceptable winner of this is the Crystarium. There was no actual "customisation" here. You followed one pathway, and that was it. Sure, you have the choice between which jobs to level, but you have to level them all if you want to succeed. It's stupid. Only in Endgame can you really customise party-wise and by that point you're probably already on your way to maxing the three main jobs so it's not even like there are differences between each of your characters!

Crystarium. So little ACTUAL customization, to call it such is laughable.

Crystarium or whatever it was called. Its nothing more than you manually upgrading your party like the CPU did back in FFIV. There is no real customization option to be had and it becomes a total grind fest by the end game. At least Sphere Grid gave the illusion of customization, even if it rarely amounted to anything of use.
Lastly we have an astute observation from Mr VeloZer0.

Crystarium. As a wise-ish man once remarked, we have come full circle to the computer handling the battles and the player handling the mundane stat upgrading.

Yeah, smurf you Crystarium. It was pretty, at least.

http://images.wikia.com/finalfantasy/images/5/56/Crystarium.jpg

Jinx

07-24-2012, 02:43 AM

I like the Sphere Grid, but it doesn't become customization until 3/4 of the way through the game. A majority of it is just following the path already laid out for you. Of course, except how you always never have enough ability spheres until fucking Home, and you have to skip a lot of abilities and come back.

Slothy

07-24-2012, 02:52 AM

Yeah, smurf you Crystarium. It was pretty, at least.

I wouldn't even give it the satisfaction of being called pretty. Like most of FFXIII, I think it was a god damned eye sore.

I like the Sphere Grid, but it doesn't become customization until 3/4 of the way through the game. A majority of it is just following the path already laid out for you. Of course, except how you always never have enough ability spheres until fucking Home, and you have to skip a lot of abilities and come back.

I declare Tifa's Boobs the unofficial winner of the census for recognizing the sphere grid to be the cheap parlour trick it is.

Jiro

07-24-2012, 03:23 AM

Clearly you need to invest in Distil Ability early on. I never had an issue with Ability Spheres once I figured that little trick out. Now let's continue shall we? I don't have all smurfing week.

Least Favourite Dungeon

Honestly I'd probably say most of them. Dungeons are a pain in the butt. I mean they are essential, but sometimes it's just like...smurf, I don't want to walk through this cave/sunken ship/ruin/whatever any more. I just want to go home where it's warm but not too warm where I can sleep on a bed for seven seconds and be fully rested and abuse my italics for emphasis.

One Pointers

Ebot’s Rock
Cave of Shadows
Garasmythe Waterway
Carleige Citadel
Mysidian Tower
Ice Cavern (FFI)
Great Crystal (FFXII)
Zozo
Midgard Underground

Basically what I'm getting from this is that you guys basically hate every dungeon too. Now I know I was just talking about my lack of enthusiasm for dungeons but smurf me you're pussies. Man the smurf up, pick up that two tonne sword, and start smurfing spelunking. No wonder you hate everything, your lives are bland and lack adventure. I will bury you in a tiny underground chamber and see if you can find your way out. Then who's laughing. Still me. Always me. :radred: Let's see if any of you jackasses managed to provide some reasoning with your submissions.

The one where you come out at that place. There were things in there trying to kill you. A lot. There was treasure there but it wasn't very good. Before I left I fought this really hard baddie and died. Yeah, that one.
Way to be a comedian, Bubba. You're the first one I'm gonna bury. I'll put you in the attic of a haunted house. Maybe the zombies will keep you warm at night. smurfing smartass son of a submariner.

Great Crystal (FFXII) (too repetitive; too dangerous)
You are a smurfing pansy bitch. Too dangerous? Go home and cry to your mother then. Leave the scary stuff to the real adventurers.

Midgar Underground, especially the train tracks. It's the same thing for way too long.
That's because you went the wrong way, dumbass. GOODNESS. What kind of adventurers have zero sense of direction? Invest in a small ethnic boy to help if you can't find your own way.

Special Mention

Before we move on, I have to give a special mention to Final Fantasy XIII. Three people thought they would be clever and nominate the whole smurfing game as being their least favourite dungeon. You realise that not only are your votes disqualified, but I now know you to be full fledged halfwits with a poor sense of humour and even poorer taste in vidya. I'm not even going to read your damn justification - if there even is any you lazy sasquatches - because your right to have opinions is now completely revoked.

First Place (3)

We can't decide between Deling Sewers and Lodestone Cavern/Dark Elf Cave. Never been to the latter. What's it all about? I like the name though. Lodestone Cavern sounds boss. I'm assembling a crack team of adventurers to go and clean the place out. You want in? Don't make me laugh. You're too crap to come with me. Go practice your meagre skills on some goddamn Imps and come back later.

FF4 Dark Elves Cave. Great game design, but I freaking hate every trip in there.
The fact that you recognise it is great game design but then continue to denounce it leaves me no choice but to revoke your right to an opinion also. Is there anybody around here that isn't a grand disappointment?

Any cave. I just hate video game caves. A special shout out to the Deling Sewers because I thought I was supposed to go down them when I was Laguna and I was lost for hours.
You were doing so well until you pointed out the fact that you are incredibly bad at following in game directions. Clearly Laguna would not want to spend his time off in a sewer, but rather chatting up Julia over a couple of pints. You have let me down for the last time. Obviously you all have no idea what is going on, so let me show you what an acceptable answer looks like.

The sewer of FFVIII. It was inconvenient, detracted from the plot and was utterly stupid in its existence. It was repetitive, bland and confusing. It built no tension like it was supposed to and meant taking time to shuffle GFs between Squall and Co. and the gate team and then back again.

Happy now? Go get lost in a cave or something. Hell, save yourself some walking and just put a paper bag over your head. You'll be just as lost and we still won't have to look at your dopey faces.

Jiro

07-24-2012, 05:14 AM

Can you smell that? Smells like... danger. Excitement. It's time for me to attempt an impossible feat, and that's to do two reveals in one. Can we do it? I don't know folks. Let's give it a good shot. At least I have a mild chance of success. You would crash and burn before we even took off.

Most and Least Favourite Spell Types

Basically these categories are about what kind of magic turns you on. Or doesn't. We have a lot of spells to look at in the Final Fantasy series. Even when we break them down into categories, it can be confusing. We even helped you out by listing the categories you could vote for, and the ones you couldn't. Sadly, a lot of people still didn't smurfing vote for one or both of these categories. You people sicken me. You could have just rolled a smurfing dice to choose, you know.

Sixth Place
For the Most Favourite side of things, in sixth place we have Arcane with absolutely no smurfing votes. Remember this, folks. Because if you are not complete imbeciles, Arcane should have the most votes for the negative side of things. Speaking of, in sixth place for Least Favourite we have Time with a single vote. How crap would you feel to be the only person hating something? Also keep this in mind: Time should win the positive side of things, unless you are all bipolar nutjobs who probably need to return to school and learn how to rank things.

Fifth Place
We'll start with positive again so your little pea-sized brains can handle it. Here we have Green with only a single vote. Again, must feel pretty stupid to like something nobody else does.

Green. Shell, Protect, Bravery and Faith are all awesome, though Haste comes in close second.
On the negative side of the fence, we have Arcane with two smurfing votes. Hang on one smurfing minute. None of you like Arcane, but only two of you dislike it? I don't need to explain that you are all imbeciles again, do I?

Arcane, I guess. Different games use them to better or worse effect. Before X, casting debuffs was usually more hassle than its worth.

arcane (arcane magics are always obsolete imo)
Yeah, okay, whatever Mr Banned. Hang on one more smurfing minute, what's this? We have ties in the negatives? smurf me, you people just try so hard to make my life difficult. Alongside Arcane is Black magic. You hate the magic that blows tit up? What's wrong with you! That's the most fun!

Black. Never really found it too useful, blue magic always topped it.
Poor Karifean. Both of his choices in these categories end up at the bottom. Nobody shares a wavelength with the poor kid. Now what the smurf is the third spell type tied up here? I'll tell you what it is, it's smurfing White magic. You hate both Black and White magic the same. Did you know that's all there used to smurfing be?! You privileged pricks and your rainbows of magic, back in the day they had to deal with only two kinds. TWO. KINDS. Greedy spoilt sons of submariners.

White, yes you heard me right. Mainly because most of the classes spells are boring and pretty samey unless its one of the pre-FFV titles and you get stuff like Haste and and Harm. If the game gives me a job class with more versatile spells options and can heal, I'll usually drop my healer in exchange for that class (usually Blue Mage). Later entries also give you souped up potion items and save points that restore health so I feel the White mage tends to be dead weight unless they have some other magic to help them stay relevant.
Thanks for the essay but you're still wrong. White mages - especially female white mages - are awesome. Disregard census results, get bitches.

Fourth Place
Seeing as the negatives are tied up for a while (OH MAN THE PUNS ARE FANTASTIC), we'll only be looking at the positive result this time. Can you guess what it is? Time magic, baby. Gotta go fast, gotta haste this bitch, gotta burn rubber, aw yeah :aimsun: But seriously, with 4 votes, it's not enough to get anywhere.

Time. One of the benefits of ATB is having those charge times, and having character speed matter. Being able to cast haste and slow alone is hugely useful in a battle, and I like that you're essentially manipulating the most fundamental aspect of the battle system to your advantage.
Clearly this is the only correct answer. Time magic is baller.

Time! Tidus was a bit of a game breaker with his time wizardry. The Tidus solo challenge is pretty fun.

Third Place
Once more, we've only got a positive entry. Who's it gonna be? Well, it'd be predictable if you dicks knew how to vote. Anyway, say hello to Black magic. Who needs nukes when you can summon giant fireballs out of thin air? smurfin' ace. Nobody could tell us why Black magic is awesome but then again they probably froze their mouths shut with a misplaced Blizzaga or something. It got 5 votes so that's a lot of useless people.

Second Place
You know I just remembered that this Census was based on gameplay and practicality which means technically there are right and wrong answers. Which means you are all wrong and I haven't just been saying it because I wanted it to be true. It actually is true. So :hahaha: For the positive second place we have White magic, 'cause everybody knows that white mages do it best. Six votes in the bank, aw yeah.

White. I can kill things with swords, but I need white to heal. Which also usually gives me the option of nuking the crap out of things with the best offensive spell in the game.
Holy is pretty boss. Healing undead is also kickass.

White. "Heal the World. Make it a better place. For you and for me and the entire human race. There are people dying. If you care enough for the living. Make a better place for you and for me."
You just keep on singing you talented prick.

For the negatives we have Blue magic, proving beyond all doubt that you people are idiots. Let's get some explanations from the 6 voters to try and reconcile this in my head, shall we?

Blue. Aside from my dislike of that colour, I never liked having to wait until I got hit by spells and attacks in order to learn them and make use of them. As a result, I either rarely take my Blue Mages, or rarely use the class because they start off fairly useless. Plus, I have such a tendency to fly through areas as quickly as possible that I often miss good Blue Magic simply because I didn't have the time to have it cast on me. Even knowing that Blue Mages can be some of the most broken classes in FF titles doesn't make me take the time to train them, largely because the games are pretty easy anyway.
After all that text I still don't know what you're saying. Oh well.

Blue Magic. Derpaderp, I got a great idea! You can only gain this ability if the monster decides to use it on the specific character you want it used on! It's genius!!!!!!!
I think you're being sarcastic.

First Place
Here's the winrars. I hope you're smurfing satisfied. For positives, we have Blue with 10 votes. It's the first best and second worst magic type guys!!! Seriously, you make me cry. Humanity is doomed while people like you walk this earth. smurf off to Pluto. Not a real planet? Even better.

Blue Magic has by far the most functionality, but loses some value by being difficult to learn. Still, the wide range of abilities and generally cheap cost makes a blue mage a powerhouse.

Enemy Skills bounced back with a Reflect spell is fun, but using it from your own repertoire is even better.

Blue Magic, yes they are difficult to obtain, but they are always worth it, the only games where they suck are in the titles that make them into Limit Breaks but seriously I'll take White Wind and Mighty Guard over a simply heal and Wall spell thank you very much.

Green takes first place in the losers category. It gets 8 votes, which is substantially more than what it got in the favourite spell category. What a useless pile of tit. GREEN, of all colours...

Green. Sorry, there is no affirmative action color magic policy. You do not deserve to be your own spell class.

Green! Sometimes it's really useful, like in FFVIII or FFXIII, but most of the time it's just not worth it.

While the spells within Green magic are actually good, there are rarely times where they are necessary. The need to debuff enemies particularly, as you can usually just exploit elemental weaknesses or beat the tit out of them.

Green. Not a big fan of status changes. Why go for a status change when you can just kill?

Green, I suppose? Seems pointless to me...this stuff was mostly White or Black for the longest time...why change it?

Notice how I voted for both winners. This is how you know you're not completely back to smurfing front. We might not have ranked them very well but at least the correct result is on top, no? Try not to fail so abysmally next time.

Loony BoB

07-24-2012, 01:48 PM

Dude, the only strategy involved with Barthandelus is "kill him faster" which isn't much of a strategy if you ask me, which is not even terribly hard if you've actually been updating your weapons like you should be.
Yeah, but that's still more strategy than "be at least L50, don't worry, you'll slaughter him, just attack attack attack attack attack."

Gameplay-wise, Terra is a Red Mage with a really nasty equipment and magic pool that makes her the ultimate jack-of-all-trades in her party in terms of offense. Her Trance/Morph skill is awesome because it's the only skill that doesn't lose its usefulness by end game. Especially in the GBA version with the Dragon's Den and Soul Shrine. The rest of the casts skills grow useless as the game goes on but, Morph/Trance allows Terra to be pretty much unstoppable. Not to mention it's incredibly useful in low level runs because it allows her to do incredibly damage and take lots of punishment at lower levels than other characters who need lots of abuse of the esper/relic system to come close to pulling off the same kind of theatrics.
Like I said, boring. Useful != Fun. Damaged past != Interesting. etc. etc. etc.

You've discovered the ulterior motive of the census, and it only took you two years. :p
It would have taken me seconds if the census didn't take two years... ;)

PS. Thanks Vivi22 :D I'll have to try that out. Here's hoping it does the trick, because I'd like to see what his moves are like.

Jessweeee♪

07-24-2012, 02:43 PM

Wolf Kanno

07-24-2012, 08:34 PM

Like I said, boring. Useful != Fun. Damaged past != Interesting. etc. etc. etc.

Coming from a man who likes Vanille, I certainly hope to never share your opinion on characterization. Terra's past is probably the most damaged past in the cast if you stop to think about it. Not to mention customizing Terra is fun, but considering you said before you don't bother with most magic and skills and just spam attack and cure spells, I can see how the concept of gameplay is lost on you. :roll2

Dude, the only strategy involved with Barthandelus is "kill him faster" which isn't much of a strategy if you ask me, which is not even terribly hard if you've actually been updating your weapons like you should be.
Yeah, but that's still more strategy than "be at least L50, don't worry, you'll slaughter him, just attack attack attack attack attack."

Seriously! If you ask for help in most other FF games people are like "game's not hard dude, just grind a little more and try it again."

Except it still is the same strategy with Barthandelus, you can't grind levels for your characters but 99% of the time, he kicks your ass the first time because you haven't bothered leveling your weapons, so you are still basically level grinding better gear and then switching between an attack paradigm and healing paradigm, which is essentially the same thing you do in other FFs. :p

The dressing is a little different but the game still hangs with all the old problems of JRPG gameplay.

Jessweeee♪

07-24-2012, 08:50 PM

If you level your weapons before post game you are doing it wrong IMO.

Wolf Kanno

07-24-2012, 08:57 PM

^That my dear is why you are under the illusion that the game is challenging. ;)

Loony BoB

07-25-2012, 11:03 AM

Still has more of a strategy than any other boss. :p

Slothy

07-25-2012, 12:20 PM

Jiro

07-25-2012, 01:27 PM

Favourite Job

My favourite job is telling you guys that you're all idiots. It's a thankless job, and it pays absolutely nothing, but the warm fuzzy feeling you get from telling the truth all day just makes it worth it. Can't ask for much more than that, can you? Well you can, but that's because you're greedy smurfwits who aren't satisfied with the simple things in life. I ought to drop you in the middle of the outback and see how long you lasted. smurfin' mongs.

One Pointers

Lady Luck
Ravager
Black Mage
Archer/Ranger
White Mage
Monks
Berserker
Samurai
Mime
Dark Knight

It's a sad day when I realise I recognised most of these from Final Fantasy X-2 and, you know, not the original games, or even the games with the best incarnation. I have failed you as a Census host. But at least I'm still more right than you. Zing! I wonder what some of our voters said...

wait what?
Yeah you would, Peegee, you would.

Waterslide Tester
...Are you smurfing kidding me. Did anybody take this thing seriously?

Probably Dark Knights which is why I'm a bit happy they've gained a bit of resurgence in the franchise the last decade. Powerful attacks, sometimes excellent debuff abilities and some awesome designs make them a favorite of mine.
Thank smurf for Wolf Kanno. Look, not only is he not being a complete waste of oxygen, he's also being a positive use of it too. See how he explains his answer? IT GIVES ME SOMETHING TO DO OTHER THAN TWIDDLE MY smurfING THUMBS AND SING STUPID JINGLES ABOUT HOW I'M GOING TO PAINT YOU ALL IN GASOLINE.

Third Place (2)
Two tied for third. A familiar story. Look at it this way though; at least we got people to agree, again. Which means their answers - albeit it probably lonely without any smurfING JUSTIFICATION - were not nonsense little smart alec quips to try and make them feel better than us. Maybe, just maybe, if somebody like Quin read the Census results and laughed to himself as he posted would it be a successful. But I feel I speak for both myself and Vivi22 here when I say being funny will not earn our respect, but instead a nice death stare, a target on your back and a flower van parked outside your house just waiting for you to be alone. Oh, the results. Right. First we have the very phallic Dragoon. See the way he jumps up and then comes down dealing impressive damage? Yeah that innuendo was probably a 6/10 for effort alone.

Lancer/Dragoon, I just love to jump on enemies and avoid some damage. Especially with the Blood Spear.
In other words, "I'm a pussy." Yep. I bet you voted Hide as the most useful skill as well.

http://images1.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20120706155846/finalfantasy/images/thumb/f/fb/Kain.jpg/220px-Kain.jpg

The other tied for third is the Red Mage. Pretty baller. Even more impressive if you follow Captain Maxx Power's route, but sadly that is not available to us. Simply, the Red Mage is better than all other magics and fighters put together into one neat package with maximum style. You know it. The only comment was "versatility" and I just... it's too much effort to scroll up, see who wrote it, get the quote tags out and all that jazz. You know who you are.

http://images.wikia.com/finalfantasy/images/8/8e/FF3-RedMage.png

First Place (3)
We got a tie for first too buckarinos. Can you guess what they are? Go on, I'll give you three guesses. Wrong, Wrong, that one is right, Wrong. Bad luck. Well you all know that the Ninja is up in there for a win. Why? Because it's the ninja. If it doesn't win, then something went terribly awry. They have this thing called the "secret ninja" at one of the weekly poker matches I play and I always argue the point: if a ninja is not secret, what is he? NOT A smurfING NINJA.

I'm going to say Ninja. I love throwing things, dual wielding swords/daggers is kind of cool, and being able to use abilities that may let you dodge attacks is pretty useful. Plus they get nifty pajamas.

The Ninja of FFTA had incredibly speed, agility, and the ability to dual wield weapons for strong damage. In addition, they also had the ability to cast some magic like skills which dealt some small damage as well as causing status effects on the enemy.
Jiro and Vivi22: Carrying the team since well before 2012.

http://images4.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20070325002245/finalfantasy/images/a/a6/M3on3-ninja.png

Here we go. Last but clearly not least because he's tied for first place is the Blue Mage. Fucking shoulda seen that one coming with the popularity of Blue Magic earlier, hey. Fucking oath it's a top notch class or something. I dunno. At least they got some top getups too.

http://media.giantbomb.com/uploads/0/3017/273172-final_fantasy_tactics_a2_hume_blue_mage_large.png

Blue Mage. Can hold it's own with a sword, wears better armor than most other mages, and Blue Magic is generally a bag of tricks that has any spell you need for a given situation.
Dunno that sounds like a Red Mage to me bro.

Blue Mage, cause he can (usually) fill every other role.
Yeah that sounds like a Red Mage ey. So uh I guess the Red Mage is the official winner or something?

Slothy

07-25-2012, 01:37 PM

I forgot to mention something pretty important in my explanation. Ninja's also rule because Batman. I'd post a picture, but since he's Batman there not only are none, but he's already taken out your camera with a batarang and you never even noticed that he's standing right behind you.

Jiro and Vivi22: Carrying the team since well before 2012.

Apocalypse Party forever!

Jinx

07-25-2012, 03:09 PM

I hate Blue Mages, and I hate Blue Magic.

Loony BoB

07-25-2012, 03:47 PM

Sometimes I think you've never even played other FF titles BoB.

Also, I counter your Barthandalus with Wrexsoul. A boss with whom the axiom "kill him faster" completely falls apart because you can't kill him at all unless you know how to get him to show up in the first place or how to kill him without having to make him appear. Ironically, it's one of the easiest FF titles in history that has one of the most unorthodox boss battles.
I'm actually just about to face Wrexsoul in my game. xD I'm trying to collect the espers, so yeah. I was told a 'strategy' of "use this spell, you'll win immediately" or something. Which doesn't sound much better than "go all out attack when he's doing this thing". To be fair, though, I must concede that I was considering only end-bosses when I was making my decision. If you include every damned boss out there then obviously even easy mini-bosses can involve some kind of strategy (eg. Scorpion Robot Thing on FFVII). It's the end-bosses which I've always either walked, or found that what was wrong with my strategy was merely "you're not a high enough level yet". Which for me didn't really mean strategy, it meant power. If we're going to ask which end-boss had the best gameplay, I'd struggle to make a decision... so many choices!

Slothy

07-25-2012, 03:51 PM

I'm actually just about to face Wrexsoul in my game. xD I'm trying to collect the espers, so yeah. I was told a 'strategy' of "use this spell, you'll win immediately" or something. Which doesn't sound much better than "go all out attack when he's doing this thing".

You can use X-Zone and end it in one shot, but whether it works or not is random and not high in the likelihood department. It's honestly more of a pain in the ass than the usual method, but still cool that it's an option most won't find right away. You also miss out on the relic he drops if you use it though.

Quindiana Jones

07-25-2012, 04:00 PM

I don't even know what the Census is or how it came to be, but I heard someone say my name and want you to know that I am enjoying every second of it. Naturally, I laugh at Bubba's responses, but the real pleasure of this experience is the pursuit of knowledge and discovering new things about people.

Vote Quin, 2012.

Slothy

07-26-2012, 03:00 AM

Time for yet another reveal. This time it will be:

Favorite battle system (turn based, ATB, CTB, ADB, CSB)

Welp, I don't see this going well. On to the 1 pointers.

CSB
CTB (FFTactics)
Action RPG (Crisis Core)

For the life of me, I have no idea what CSB stands for. And one vote for FF Tactics? I didn't vote for it either, but come on people. It deserves more respect than that. I'll let everyone guess who voted for Crisis Core. Stumped? Didn't think so. But here's his explanation anyway:

Favorite battle system (turn based, ATB, CTB, ADB, CSB): Full Control

Wait, is that a vote for Crisis Core? I can't be arsed to see if anyone else might have voted for it so we'll go with yes. He's the only person who ever votes for it anyway. How the hell did a Zack fanboy get on the Census Committee? I'd say our standards are dropping, but Wolf Kanno's been a member from the start.

Anyway, we move on to the two vote club:
Turn Base - 2 total votes
ADB - 2 total votes

Why anyone would vote turn based is beyond me. FFX did it decently I guess. But aside from that the only other turn based entries were on the NES, and it really wasn't very interesting back then. Peegee is already banned, so I guess I only need to declare Melissaur dead to me now.

Favorite battle system (turn based, ATB, CTB, ADB, CSB): ADB. There was no going back for me after XII.

Here we see Flying Arrow earning his keep with a correct answer. ATB is overdone at this point and it was good to see it changed up a bit. Or to copy and paste:

Favorite battle system (turn based, ATB, CTB, ADB, CSB)
ADB. Honestly, I'm fairly sick of ATB after about 20 years, and most attempts to change it fall a little flat with me because they don't do enough. But ADB adding in free movement around the battle field was a much needed breath of fresh air, and made positioning reasonably important. I'd love to see it come back and be expanded on, though I doubt Square would do a good job even if they tried.

In other words, fuck everyone who didn't like this system.

In second place we have:
CTB (FFX) - 3 total votes

If FFX is going to be beating FFXII in anything, it shouldn't be gameplay. Someone please shoot me now. Preferably with phasers on maximum setting.

Favorite battle system (turn based, ATB, CTB, ADB, CSB)
CTB (that was X's right?), cause it doesn't rush you. You have all the time in the world to calculate what's gonna come up, what you should do and select it.

So you like it because it's boring? Do you also dress in beige and turn in early for a quiet night of knitting?

Favorite battle system (turn based, ATB, CTB, ADB, CSB): CTB. Did you know that CTB can refer to the Charge Time Battle’ of FFT or the ‘Conditional Turn-Based Battle’ of FF10? Did you also know that they are the exact same system just packaged slightly differently?

I'm running out of room to dig in the back yard so for your sake I'll assume that's a vote for FFT.

Finally, we come to the first place entry which will surprise absolutely no one:
ATB-14 total votes

I get that it's been around since FFIV, so more than 20 years now, and it's been featured in a lot of games. But I'm holding everyone who voted for this as their favourite personally responsible for the complete lack of creativity Square has demonstrated lately. You all hate change and should be ashamed of yourselves for ruining a once great company.

Favorite battle system (turn based, ATB, CTB, ADB, CSB): ATB. Specifically, FFX-2's version (or anything pre-FFXIII). Why did they have to muck it up with AI?

Maybe if you sacrificed more virgins in Squares name they'd be more inclined to care about your dislike of AI. There should be plenty of candidates around here. Just see who spends the most time creeping on Tifa's Boobs in the picture thread.

Favorite battle system (turn based, ATB, CTB, ADB, CSB) - ATB, while I've enjoyed or at least tried to enjoy some of the new variations of the system, I really feel that ATB is a tried and true method that is quite excellent and could be made more appealing if developers actually grew a pair and stopped babying the player. It offers several scenarios of strategy and drama in battle, as well as allows the Squenix people to make the fantastic light shows we players grew accustomed to with out special attacks. I miss cool spell effects.

Yep, it's so tried and true it's like a well worn shoe. Smelly and full of holes. And spell effects? You want them to go back to ATB so you can have some flashy graphics? This is a gameplay census. Keep your visual shenanigans out of it thanks.

Jinx

07-26-2012, 03:04 AM

I was name dropped :D

Jiro

07-26-2012, 03:30 AM

Quin you goddamn son of a submari-- okay so the union's been on my back about the abuse. Apparently it's not appropriate to tear shreds off the participants just because I feel that their opinions are wrong, or that they are idiots and need to be slapped about the face. Let's be civil for this one, I guess.

Favourite Accessory

What do you like to wear the most? Accessorising is all about a fashion statement, isn't it? It's the stuff that makes you look better, cooler, hotter, etcetera. These are the ones you like most, the ones that do their jobs.

One Pointers

Sprint Shoes
Pumice Piece
Cat Nip
Gem Box/Soul of Thamasa

I got a pair of sprint shoes in my car. Do you know how fucking great it is to be able to run real fast? It's great man. You should try it. I'll challenge you to a race and we'll see who's quicker. C'mon, it'll be great fun. Better than being slow as hell, right?

Sprint Shoes. Seriously. Not having to slowly walk everywhere was a god send. Sure, I prefer a run button if I can get it, but these were the single most useful thing in FFVI.
He also fails to mention that it's a necessity for like that one dungeon. The one where you get Gogo, if I recall. Fucking creepy clown is probably in on it all with Kefka, but you know what they say. Keep your friends close, and your enemies so close that they can just stab you in the fucking kidney and run without you even realising.

Third Place (2)
We've got two tied for third. I can't wait until I don't have to say that any more. Maybe I should have just made all of these into pie charts and left the statistics to do all the hardwork. Iron Duke is the first, and I have no idea what it even is.

Iron Duke, FFX-2. Useless in the game you get it in, but use it on a New Game+...
I don't know anybody who enjoyed the game enough to play it a second time. That's nothing to do with the game itself - I actually quite enjoy it - but the fact that people are turned off - ironic - by the fact that it seems to be all about fanservice. Secondly we have Running Shoes/Haste Rings. You know, things that make you go fast, like Sonic.

I've always kind of felt "accessories" should be a part of the character's default design rather than being some trinket you pick up to add specialness. I'll say the Haste Ring, Wall Ring, and Regen Ring, anyway.
Just because the category was called "favourite accessories" doesn't mean you can list a whole bunch of them. That's not how this works.

Second Place (4)
You know what is awesome? The Genji Glove. It's awesome.

Genji Gloves, doesn't really matter which game it's in, the Genji Glove will usually be one of the most overpowered piece of equipment you can get a hold of.
OP to the max, ya dig?

The Genji Glove allows you to effectively double your damage output, which is incredibly useful on strong party members. Because of the nature of FF where attacking can usually solve most problems, doubling attack is very effective.
Double the trouble. It's like whack a mole with a sledgehammer.

First Place (9)
We finally had a first, second and third placing in something with unlimited options. I'm proud of you knuckleheads. Oops, sorry. Anyway, the Ribbon takes the cake as the favourite accessory. I like ribbons, girls with ribbons are adorable, but seriously the Final Fantasy ribbons are for pansies. Not the flowers, either.

Ribbon. Is that cheating?
Yes, it makes you immune to basically everything. Completely unacceptable. Cheating little... Just take your damn first place and get out of my face.

Jiro

07-26-2012, 04:04 AM

Least Favourite Job

We did the favourites earlier. These are the jobs where you don't get paid cashmoney and you don't enjoy it and you just want to cry everyday and go home and hide under the blankets and then you wake up and it's a new day and you still have to go to work and oh god the humanity.

One Pointers

Beastmaster/Tamer
Geomancer
Black Mage
Freelancer/Bare (FFV)
Thamaturuge
Archer
Knight
Alchemist

Lot of jobs there. Guess the workforce ain't exactly happy with their options.

Knight. So blaaaand.
Jess♪ is a girl that likes excitement. Keep that in mind, guys.

Bingo caller
Oh you.

Geomancer. Cool in concept but the out of battle abilities have minimal opportunity to make the job valuable.
All these comments on the one pointers makes me worry about the winners...

Black Mage, simply because I never found them to be too useful.
Blowing stuff up has its uses, my dear boy.

Bare/Freelancer it just kind of sucks the fun out of the game once you've mastered most of the classes.
Yes but to get to that point takes a lot of effort. You're a strange breed, Mister Wolf Kanno.

First Place (2)
Seeing as there is like a one hundred way tie for first place, I'm just going to do another list.

Bard
Blue Mage

Scholar
White Mage
Dragoon
Thief

Scholar in FF III NES, he was only useful in one battle.
What battle was that? I think scholars being in battle probably means you're doing it wrong anyway, unless he's Indiana Jones.

Bard. Only in FFXI is it useful and it's actually so useful that people abuse the poor BRDs and they end up hating the job.
Bards do cop a lot of hate and/or abuse. Maybe if they weren't such pushovers...

Dancer/Bard. Way too much effort to learn to not make them suck in games they don’t, and in games they do suck they… well… suck.
Astute observations here.

Thief since I rarely use steal. The exception being Locke when he gets capture, or in FFV where they had some other abilities that made it worth using them now and again. But even then, I'd usually switch to them to see hidden tunnels, then switch back after I didn't need them anymore.
But thieves that can steal are the best!

The Thief of FFI is pretty useless as he doesn't even have the steal command.
My point exactly. Not really a good joke, but oh well.

Let me remind you that the Blue Mage was first in the Favourite Job category while the Dragoon was second. Um. You guys. What the fuck? I'm going to kick you in the nose until you're sniffing your own brains.

Jinx

07-26-2012, 05:32 AM

I hate thieves. I find the whole "steal" thing a waste of time and just boring gameplay.

Also, Bubba; we need to get that guy a fucking tv show.

Hollycat

07-26-2012, 05:40 AM

I hate thieves. I find the whole "steal" thing a waste of time and just boring gameplay.

Also, Bubba; we need to get that guy a smurfing tv show.

I like thieves in terms of gameplay, but doesn't it make more sense to kill the monster and then take all it has instead of maybe taking one horn or something?

Jiro

07-27-2012, 12:37 PM

You thought I forgot about you, didn't you? Oh darling, that could never happen. I simply needed a chance to remember that you're all smurfing lunatics who can't answer simple questions correctly. I had to buy new pillows after I drew your faces on them and stabbed them to a feathery death.

Least Favourite Accessory

Knowing you guys, these will probably be the best accessories to use. Miscreants, the lot of you.

Third Place (2)
What's this? No one pointers? You finally decided on shit for once. Congratufuckinglations. Maybe you aren't all screw ups after all. So here, there's a tie between Sprint Shoes (didn't they make an entry on favourite accessories....?) and Cursed Ring. I don't know why you idiots would even bother to note the Cursed Ring because it's clearly cursed and therefore should just be ignored entirely. Fuck.

Any one that is terrible but the game thinks is good and keeps auto-equipping. Honorable mention goes to Sprint Shoes. It was a great day when they just gave you the ability to run whenever you wanted.
No. You need stylish shoes to run fast. Duh.

Second Place (4)
This one is taken out by Minor Stat% adding items. Too many words? Go back to school then, dumbass. Clearly, accessories come in categories, just like this Census. The easiest way to get some real, hard results - harder results than your thick fucking skull - is to categorise like this. Don't like it? How about you write a letter. :bigsmile:

Shopkeeper: "Would you like to buy this Amulet?"
Cloud: "What does it do?"
Shopkeeper: "It makes you 10% luckier!"
Cloud: "Really? How would I know?"
Shopkeeper: "You just, sort of... feel luckier. By err, about 10%..."
Cloud: "How much is it?"
Shopkeeper: "10'000 gil"
Cloud: "Sounds like a scam"
Shopkeeper: "Yeah, it does. Probably because it is."
Cloud: "How much is this mastered All materia?"
Shopkeeper: "You don't want to know."
The running commentary is unnecessary.

Those stupid 'Resist Deprotect +30%' and similar accessories that pop up in most FF games (but especially the XIII games). Why would I waste a slot on that crap?
Percentages are good though. Right? I don't know. Fuck maths, man.

The ones that give you like, +5 HP. Why the smurf does it even bother?
I think you're exaggerating girl.

First Place (7)
First place goes to the deserving winner. Fucking Single Status Protection items like Goggles, Star Pendants, Amulets and the like. Not the Amulet your mate Bubba was talking about.

Accessories protecting against poison are largely useless as curing poison is cheap and frees up an accessory slot for something more useful.
Anything else is more useful.

Anything that protects against poison. Poison will rarely kill you and antidotes are usually cheap until you get a heal spell of some sort. I'd rather use my accessory slot for something more useful. Like sprint shoes.
LIKE SPRINT SHOES.

The kind that allow you to be protected against one status. :p
Yeah we got that too.

Silver glasses, White Cape (FFVII had a lot of useless acc.)
No need to fucking list them all either pal.

Jiro

07-30-2012, 04:31 AM

Favourite Optional Boss

I still don't know what it is that designates a boss as good or bad, so once again we're flying blind thanks to your complete inability to specify anything useful during your Census responses. Let's take a look and see if I can't do all the smurfing leg work once more.

One Pointers

Jumbo Cactuar (VIII)
Minerva
Ozma
Ruby WEAPON
Bahamut (FFIV)
Angrya Manyu
Lost Number
Ultima WEAPON
Ultima Weapon (VIII)
Omega Weapon (VIII)
Strongest Shinra
Omega

I don't even know who these bosses freaking are. Optional means it's too much like hard work in my opinion. Nobody thought it would be a good idea to tell me why they like certain optional bosses though. Well, almost nobody. Nobody important at least.

I kind of want to say Ultima WEAPON. If only because beating it wins me the Ultima Weapon. Also fighting him gets you a notable chance to acquire Shadow Flare.
You're moving up the foodchain just by not being useless.

Strongest Shinra from X-2 International. Great challenge.
I suppose that counts too.

Omega (FFV) and the Red Dragon (FFVI Dragon's Den), mostly for the same reason, they are great fights that require a good knowledge of the games skills and abilities to become victorious but the best part is that they are relatively short. None of this silly billion HP nonsense nowadays where is can take hours to tackle these things. Just a simple fight that requires some careful prepping but is equally rewarding because the fights themselves are not easy and even with the right prep work, you can still lose.
You should know better than to list two answers, jackass.

First Place (2)
Yeah. Another one of these. Four winners, all tied on two votes. Let me use the list fashion again because it's simple; you guys are going out of your way to make my life a pain in the butt now though, aren't you?

Eight Dragons
Tonberry King (VIII)
Emerald WEAPON
Odin

The 8 dragons in FFVI. Really some of the first optional bosses I ever beat, and part of why I like them is not only having to search every corner of the world to find them or that each offered a unique challenge, but also that they reward you with Crusader. And of course, there's always that moment when you equip your reward and summon it in battle for the first time to see what it looks like, only to find out that it just killed your party and you should never summon Crusader again.
Crusader is a prick.

Tonberry King from FFVIII is a pretty challenging boss to encounter, and then he's got moves to kick your ass pretty swiftly if you're not prepared. If you're really in the mood to challenge yourself, there'll be a 20 minute time limit.
Tonberries are scary without them being kings.

I don't have one. Uh. Geez. If you can't accept "none", throw in Tonberry King from FFVIII. *shrug*
WAY TO FUCKING DEVALUE MY VOTE.

Emerald Weapon. I only ever beat him once and it was so satisfying watching him glow red and die. Especially after he whooped me countless times.
I didn't know you got a kick out of watching things die. Creepy, man.

8 Dragons (FFVI) - I just loved hunting them down or discovering them while on an unrelated quest. I guess that's why I still love the Mark hunts from XII and XIII.
I think I actually agree with you. In fact, I do. So let's end here with me not wanting to punch anyone in the face.

Loony BoB

07-30-2012, 11:06 AM

WAY TO smurfING DEVALUE MY VOTE.
:D

Slothy

07-30-2012, 01:45 PM

I apologize for the break. I was assimilated again and it took a few days for Jiro and HC to rescue me. Although I'm betting I'll wish they hadn't once we get to the results for:

Favorite weapon:

Now this is a weird one. Why? Because a whole bunch of weapons got one vote and the two weapons tied for first got two votes each. I'm not sure you guys could get more indecisive if you tried. On to the losers!

Guns (XII)
VIII Gunblades
Excalibur (FFTactics)
Angel Bless
Enkindler (XIII Gunblade)
Shuriken
Masamune (FFI)
Barehanded
Daggers/Knife
Nail Bat
Save the Queen
Ultima Weapon (VII)
Lionheart (VIII)
Tournesol
Ragnarok

Sweet zombie jesus that's a lot. Do we even need to ask who voted for the Enkindler from XIII?

Favorite weapon Enkindler

I guess so since it wasn't Jessweeee♪ for once. Still wrong though rydrum.

Favorite weapon
I don't really have a single favorite weapon, but I'd like to take the time to say that the way weapons worked in FFXII was pretty cool. I especially liked the guns because they ignored the player and the enemy's stats.

A reasonable answer with a good explanation. Jessweeee♪, I take back none of the things I've said about you. But good job none the less.

Favorite weapon
The gunblade is a great weapon, with 255% accuracy. It has the coolness of both swords and guns, as well as powerful limits attached to them.

I want to argue because FFVIII, but the gunblades were the best weapons in the game so you get a pass this time Jiro. Plus I might need you the next time I get assimilated so I don't want to piss you off now.

Favorite weapon: Excalibur from FF Tactics. Turns Orlandu into a one-man army.

No argument there.

Favorite weapon: Shuriken

Going the ninja route I see. Good thing you did, because voting for Ninja's is the only thing that is getting you a pass on offering no explanation.

Favorite weapon: Gunblade. It's a sword that's also a gun! It's like one of those pens that you can get with a clock on it. Only, you know... more dangerous.

I'd think of something snarky to say, but I'm too distracted by Bubba's good looks.

Favorite weapon: Save the Queen (awesome name)

And that might be valid reasoning if we were doing a census of awesome names you twit.

Favorite weapon - Elemental Swords from FFVI, Good base damage, excellent elemental modifiers, and a chance to cast a magic spell based on the caster's MA? Seriously, Terra and Celes can do monstrous damage with these weapons. I also just like the idea of an elemental weapon randomly casting damage. I tend to keep using these weapons long past most normal VI fans would argue is valid.

Hold on a second, I don't remember seeing those up above. Let me check again. Nope. Did I accidentally spoil a first place finish?

First place:
Ultima Weapon/Atma Weapon - 2 total votes
Buster Sword – 2 total votes

Nope. What the hell WK? Did you change your vote and not tell us? Did you forget to count yours? I expect this sort of screwing up the census results from everyone else, not from you. I'm so disappointed...

Anyway, what did people have to say about the winners?

Favorite weapon
The Atma Weapon from FFVI. I like it because it's obtainable early and can be quite powerful very quickly. There's also something I find enjoyable about having the visual representation of my characters growth and it's increased power every time I use it.

This guy seems to know what he's talking about. Be more like him from now on guys.

Favorite weapon: Aesthetically?

No.

Buster Sword.

Arrgghhh! God damn it! :pissed:

That answer is even worse than the people who didn't even bother picking any weapon at all (quite a few since I'm not even bothering to call them out individually). And from a committee member? Someone find me the nearest Borg Cube. I'd like to be assimilated again.

Hollycat

07-30-2012, 04:17 PM

Hey, I gave an explanation for my vote.

Fine. I'm letting it slide because of Picard.

Slothy

07-30-2012, 05:17 PM

Yeah, but I felt I was pushing it on the quotes as it was and you can only make fun of so many people. I don't remember what you said, but I remember reading it and realizing that I just couldn't do anything with it. But I'd already posted Del's so I didn't want more of me not disagreeing with or otherwise making fun of people. That's just boring.

The Man

07-30-2012, 06:32 PM

It looks like both Jiro and Bubba voted for gunblades as their favourite weapons, unless I'm missing something, so shouldn't they be tied for first there?

Slothy

07-30-2012, 06:36 PM

Huh, you're right. I guess this is what happens when we don't check Wolf Kanno's work.

Jinx

07-30-2012, 06:39 PM

Ily, Bubba. <3

Jiro

07-31-2012, 02:01 AM

SMURFING WOLF KANNO :argh: DONE IT AGAIN

Wolf Kanno

07-31-2012, 06:30 AM

Hey, when you've got that much data to sort through a few mistakes are expected. :sweatdrop

Jiro

07-31-2012, 12:20 PM

Least Favourite Weapon

Gosh you guys are picky. When the chips are down and you got a guy coming at you with some heavy artillery, you don't exactly have the luxury of going "hmmm nooo I don't think I will use that weapon, it's not very effective." You just pick up what the smurf you can find and beat the tit out of him with it. Same thing goes for zombies. Remind me never to shack up with you lot, we'll all die.

One Pointers

Ultima Weapon (VII)
Blitzball
Measures
Dolls
Bare-Handed
Rune Blade
Megaphone
Spears
Dirk
Hairpin
Grand Mace
Brave Blade
Rinoa’s Wrist Boomerang

So we've got a list, and Wolf Kanno's checking it twice, if he smurfs up again I'm gonna drown him with rice. I want to sing a little jingle all of a sudden. Anyway, let's find out why these weapons are apparently bad.

I'm actually going to say the Cloud's Ultima Weapon. Yes it's powerful and it has 8 materia slots and I always want to use it because that's awesome, but no materia growth is a bit of a deal breaker. The only time it ever sees use is if I take on Emerald or Ruby or when I make my final run at the end of the game. Otherwise I'll use something else so my materia can still level as I go through sidequests.
That's a fair point, but by end game I don't think you're meant to be levelling materia any more. Still, at least you didn't say the HP mechanic is tit. Otherwise you'd have to be beaten to death.

Blitzball. Really? Honorable mentions go out to any end game weapons that are missable.
You're pretty much the lamest person ever. Clearly the blitzball wins points for being ranged and being silly novelty!

FFXII measures. Using a weapon on your own party to buff is a really cool concept, but using them was too impractical.
Are these musical measures or like cooking measures or what? I don't know. Sounds impractical.

Lulu's dolls. They don't increase magic by nearly as much as they should, their strength is also poor, and though they are cool, they don't add a whole lot to the character. Lulu could have used a stick and it would have been just as relevant.
A stick.

The weapons that drain your MP when you attack. There was one in FFVI, and some in FFXI. Rune blade I think? Anyway, MP is much more useful than being wasted to slightly boost your physical attacks.
I know Steiner had it as an ability (?) which was incredibly useful early on because he had tit all in the way of useful abilities anyway.

*shrug* Megaphone? xD
This is not a laughing matter.

again, wha parameters
GAMEPLAY MECHANIC WISE. DON'T YOU PEOPLE KNOW HOW TO READ.

Enemy: "I'm going to kill you with my nuclear bomb launcher."
Red XIII: "Yeah well, you better look out for my... err... my hairpin."
Enemy: "Your what?"
Red XIII: "...hairpin..."
Enemy: "What does it do?"
Red XIII: "Well it, er... can keep the hair out of your eyes and stuff."
Enemy: "It's not even windy. Is that all?"
Red XIII: "No! No, it can also, err... and you can use it to err... hmm...erm..."
*Runs Away*
You don't have to write a short story for every answer, buddy. But I'm glad you did. Better than not providing an explanation, or not providing a smurfing answer. Those people make my blood boil.

Rinoa's boomerang. Slow and weak-looking.
We already did the aesthetics census, pal. You were there. Remember.

So there's a bunch of weapons that we kind of hate. I love the person who nominated the Dirk, which I believe is just the weakest weapon in Final Fantasy VI. I don't think you get the point of this either, bucko. In any case, there's not a whole lot to be said. These weapons are rubbish in one way or another. Special shout out to all your ultimate/legendary weapons.

Ultimate Weapons in FFVII and Legendary Weapons in FFX. For VII, the weapons make what little individuality in the cast's playstyle completely meaningless. In FFX they do the same as VII and I have to go through mini-game hell to fully unlock them... so yeah, Legendary Weapons are definetly the worst.
Basically, use these things at projectiles and grab a stick. Yeah. A stick.

First Place (2)
Yep. Another one of these. Except there's only one winner. Wtf dudes. Nailbat. Nobody likes it. Two people hate it. What a wasteful weapon. Karifean puts it quite well.

Nailbat. What's the point?
What, indeed, is the point? I could tell you, but that would ruin the surprise. Suffice to say though, that if a zombie outbreak were to occur (who am I kidding, when it occurs) then a nailbat would be far more useful than you seem to think. smurf materia growth, kill baddies.

http://shimmie.shishnet.org/v2/_images/9cf1d564a5d49e08d73c7c4ecf385568/358 - ff7 materia nailbat.jpg

Jiro

07-31-2012, 12:26 PM

We've reached the part of our programme where we need to hand out a very special award. Please brace yourselves, try to contain your excitement and following the inevitable pants-wetting, please wipe down your seat because it is time for the Official Census "I'm Not A Douchebag" Award. The winner of this excellent and prestigious award, which is rarely handed out because you're all douchebags, just so happens to be me Wolf Kanno.

http://www.a1trophies.co.uk/uploads/images_products_large/760.jpg

Congratulations on not being a douchebag and thank you kindly for all the hard work you put in to set up the Census and give Vivi22 and I an opportunity to tear shreds off everyone, yourself included. Thank you also for providing generally acceptable answers, although a few times in there I've wondered if you're just pretending to not have the wrong opinion but we'll let it slide because for now you're a champion! :party:

Bubba

07-31-2012, 02:59 PM

Ooops... there is a strong possibility that I may have completed this census whilst intoxicated.

My apologies for the ridiculousness of my answers so far. I have a hazy recollection of typing these after a night out. I vow to take the next census much more seriously

I will confine any such future drunken babbling to the 'Drunk Thread' or #EOFF... maybe...

Slothy

07-31-2012, 03:31 PM

I vow to take the next census much more seriously

Please don't. Your detailed answers have been one of the highlights of this census. Now if only more people would elaborate on their answers.

Wolf Kanno

08-01-2012, 01:43 AM

The amusing thing about the Nailbat is that it's actually useful in the Temple of The Ancients just because the bosses in that dungeon are highly resistant to most magic, so a heavy physical based weapon is actually good, especially since it sports the highest attack power at that point of the game.

Slothy

08-02-2012, 12:48 PM

It's that time once again folks for everyone's least favourite game: running down a list of your least favourite whatever and making fun of you for trying to think. This time around it'll be:

Least favorite world map:
And we'll start off with the one vote club:
VI
V

Ok, I honestly can't wait to see the justifications here.

Least favorite world map
FFV. It wasn't bad, it was just okay.

I don't think FFV is the game you think it is. See, FFV had two separate world maps with a rich variety of towns and dungeons, and secrets that always seemed just out of reach. Until the two got mashed together and the new geography opened up all kinds of cool places to visit and explore that just sat their taunting you throughout the game. It's genuinely one of the coolest world map concepts in the series.

Least favorite world map 6 WOR

No explanation. Why am I not surprised. I guess the non-linearity of the World of Ruin was too much for him.

Moving on to our second place entry:
II - 2 total votes

I'm going to have to see the rationale here because I've honestly never played FFII for more than half an hour or so.

Least favorite world map: FFII's was pretty boring.

Ok, that doesn't really help me. What about the other person who voted for it?

Least favorite world map - While I would love to say the games that don't have them... Probably FFII, outside of the chocobo forest and partially due to the unforgivable out of bounds encounters, it's not a fun world to explore. The day you get an airship in that game is godsend.

Ok, I'm still a little in the dark here, but whatever. WK says it's bad, that's good enough for me, even if he did almost vote for games with a map like FFXII.

Next up:
VIII - 4 total votes

Now we're talking. What did everyone have to say about this one?

Least favorite world map
VIII's. Didn't feel so great and all those random draw points, UFO sightings and stupid on-map quests were annyoing.

Least favorite world map: VIII. Big and empty. You mostly just get deposited to the different corners by the plot anyway, so there's no sense of adventure which is the whole point of a world map at all. Not big on IX's either, but at least it has Hot & Cold.

Least favorite world map: FF8

Least favorite world map
FFVIII. There were entire continents that were barely used for the story, or even not used at all. That and it just seems fairly empty. There wasn't an abundance of towns or dungeons to visit and revisit from what I recall.

There you have it folks. FFVIII's map sucks. Even the guy who's favourite game is Crisis Core recognizes it so that's saying something.

And finally, in first place we have:
Real Time Map (FFX-XIII) - 8 total votes*

Let me grab my popcorn for this one because I'm sure it will be hilarious.

Least favorite world map: XIII o wait you don't even get there -.-

Least favorite world map: FFXIII because it doesn't have a world map.

Least favorite world map - FF13

FFXIII: voted hallway simulator of the year 2010.

But hold on, there were more votes weren't there?

Least favorite world map: Tie between FF10 and FF12. Any time you create a play area in which there is no scaling it is impossible to make the adventure seem large. Calm Lands? Size of your average farmers field. Giruvegan? Located like a few kilometers outside Rabanastre

You know, for a game which was handicapped by such a towering limitation as it being impossible to make the adventure seem large without making the map really really small, I really seem to recall FFXII being one of the biggest games I've ever played. I must have been mistaken though since actually having a massive world instead of just implying one obviously makes things feel smaller.

Least favorite world map: FFX (first you couldn't travel on)

Silly kids and your love of impossible flying machines that get you there with no fuss. It's the journey not the destination right? Oh wait, you said FFX? Yeah, that journey kind of sucked.

Least favorite world map: Anything that doesn't have a world map

Haha, I see what you did there. You're a clever one. I'll have to have the census Ninja's keep an eye on you.

Least favorite world map: FFXII. Does a province really count as a "World Map?"

When that province is bigger than pretty much any other two FF world maps combined? Yes, it does.

Least favorite world map: FFX

Do those of you that agreed with Sum1sGruj feel dirty now? Because you really, really should.

Mercen-X

08-03-2012, 10:08 PM

I totally forgot I said that bit about the marbles. Bloody brilliant, I am! :kakapo:

That leaves us with the top spot. It goes to a special little something I like to call Gil Toss. I don't need to explain how wholly useless it is. Paying money to deal damage you yourself could probably do more than? Simply incomprehensible. The time and effort and battling needed to have enough money to make this a worthwhile skill actually levels you to the point where it isn't. So stop smurfing throwing money around and start punching things in the face. Jesus H Christ, you should save that cash for the casino.

I am proud to be the only person in the known universe to appreciate having a use for my Gil passed all of the crap I've already bought or no longer have a use for. I've got X,000,000,000,000 Gil when the monsters I originally fought only offered 5 Gil. Now what do I do with it? Sometimes in games where money becomes useless, I spend hours buying up and selling useless things (for half price) and repeating until I've spent all of my money. Seriously... I've done this. Because the money became useless. I just said this three seconds ago. Pay attention!

License Board: Yeah, I should have remembered that. This is an axe. I can swing an axe. I need a license for THIS AXE? Is this a broken ability system or a legal system? (legal systems are usually broken anyway)

Junction is still sh...

Seriously! If you ask for help in most other FF games people are like "game's not hard dude, just grind a little more and try it again."

I usually ended up beating things at levels well below the suggested. Of course, that was starting with VII (exception to side-bosses Ruby, Emerald, Omega, Ozma, etc). Trying to play later parts of earlier games was bitchy as well.

The Man

08-04-2012, 03:32 AM

You're not alone, actually. Over-levelled as I often am when I finish a Final Fantasy game I usually have way more money than I can ever possibly spend. Gil Toss is often more useful a way to get rid of it than anything else. Of course the way I play I usually end up with way more Elixirs and other things than I will ever be able to use as well (mostly because I never use them).

Mercen-X

08-05-2012, 07:37 AM

I get rid of those when they work on Undeads. I believe there's at least one installment where Elixirs actually return HP to Undeads. I don't remember clearly.

Jiro

08-05-2012, 09:19 AM

Have you got mad skills? Skills that make you the top pick in school yard football? Well then this is not the place for you. We only want to hear about useful battle skills here.

Favourite Skill

There are a lot of abilities in the Final Fantasy series. No, really. When you think about how many games there are, and how many individual skills are in each, then you're left with a metric smurftonne of them. It's a real measurement, trust me.

One Pointers

Dragonheart
Throw
Manipulate/Control
Mix
Punch Art
Mime

These are actually some useful skills. Let's start with Gamblet who is beginning to prove himself as a member whose opinion is not always completely invalid and wrong.

Punch Art from FFT, free healing and mana, versatile attack skills.
That sounds smurfing useful. And punching is a badass way to deal with enemies.

Mix (I love chemists, too bad most of the games don't have them)
I am going to alert all the pharmacies in your local area just in case you have some kind of weird psycho chemistry fetish.

Manipulate. I would like to use this in real life. I'm not a pervert or anything. I would just use it to have sex with thousands of women.
Not going to touch this one :|

Third Place (2)
We have a three way tie here, between Devour, Mug, and Darkness. I know that increasing your damage output is a good thing, but sacrificing your own life to do so seems unnecessary. The concept behind such a thing is somewhat concerning too. What are you doing, sacrificing your soul?

Darkness from X-2. All powerful.
I seem to recall a few X-2 based votes from you. Anything you're not telling us? Maybe we can start a fan club.

Darkness, loved it since I was a kid. Big damage to all enemies for hurting yourself. I also loved Gil Toss for giving me something to do with the ridiculous money I'm able to make by doing well... anything. :p
And you were doing so well until you mentioned Gil Toss.

Devour. Also did you know you can use it on Rinoa when you fight Adel? tit, answering all of these with FFVIII makes me wanna play it again.
I don't want to think about Squall devouring Rinoa. smurfing weird.

Devour. That frickin' needs to come back.
You're way too into this.

Mug is a great skill, because it allows you to steal without sacrificing damage.
Yes, it is a great skill. Where are the rest of the sensible people?

Second Place (3)
Do you like Sabin, because Blitz is in second. Blitz resulted in some pretty cool tit as Vivi22 will let you know:

Perhaps it's the fighting game fan in me, but I always liked Blitz as a kid. Always useful (what FFVI skill isn't really) and there was some challenge to using it as the game went on and inputs became more complex the stronger the Blitz. Of course, finding out the secret to doing them more easily kind of ruined that, but not on my first playthrough. Plus, and this isn't really mechanics related, but you can Suplex a train. What's not to love?
What's not to love, indeed. Except for the fact that Mugging tit is so much better? Anyway. Nobody else wants to tell us why Blitz is good, so we'll put it down to the train-suplex incident.

First Place (4)
It's nice to see a close contest. But I guess this skill just stole the show! It's... Steal. Do you like puns? I love puns. Puns are awesome. But you people are idiots. Why is Steal better than Mug? It's not, that's what.

Steal is probably my favorite, even though I don't generally like thief classes, I do like getting cool rare swag. In Tactics, a Thief is devastating on the battlefield. :cool:
YOU COULD MUG THE SWAG TOO YOU KNOW.

Steal. I steal from everything.
I guess that makes it just fine and dandy then. You people are idiots.

Bubba

08-05-2012, 12:24 PM

Aww man... I'm so sorry everyone.

The Man

08-05-2012, 12:42 PM

I actually like Steal more than Mug because sometimes Mug kills the monster I'm stealing from before I can actually steal the smurfing treasure. This is particularly annoying in one-shot boss fights, and I'm too lazy to swap it out just for boss fights so I usually just don't bother with Mug at all. True story.

Also how the smurf are Tools not listed. Seriously people, they're probably more useful than Blitz, and they're impossible to smurf up the execution for. (Granted I don't smurf up the execution for Blitzes anyway because I'm leet, but a lot of you aren't as lucky as I am).

Rantz

08-05-2012, 03:01 PM

I want to rep Bubba's whole census entry.

Mercen-X

08-05-2012, 07:12 PM

First Place (4)
It's nice to see a close contest. But I guess this skill just stole the show! It's... Steal. Do you like puns? I love puns. Puns are awesome. But you people are idiots. Why is Steal better than Mug? It's not, that's what.

And your smarta$$ery was prospering so well up until that bit. Ahem. What you said WASN'T a PUN. It was a "PLAY" on "words". Like when you feel like you're in a stable because you're surrounded by naysayers. Not a pun. A play on words. Your rep is officially dashed.

Also, I second what The Man has said. And you're a dingus if you disagree.

Jinx

08-05-2012, 08:45 PM

Manipulate. I would like to use this in real life. I'm not a pervert or anything. I would just use it to have sex with thousands of women.
Not going to touch this one :|

That's what she said.

Del Murder

08-06-2012, 06:01 AM

Like The Man said, steal is more useful than mug because mug might kill the monster.

Loony BoB

08-06-2012, 09:39 AM

I don't want to think about Squall devouring Rinoa. smurfing weird.
Yeah. Weird. :shifty: Also, what you're doing wrong is putting Squall in that thought. I mean, c'mon.

What do you get out of devouring Rinoa, Jessweeee♪!?

Rantz

08-06-2012, 08:21 PM

A permanent +10 HP. That is to say, permanent until you get a game over because Rinoa died.

Jiro

08-07-2012, 04:19 AM

Well you do get that bonus until the very end of the game, in a sense. Also I will use the word pun however I damn well please. :colbert:

Jessweeee♪

08-07-2012, 02:33 PM

A permanent +10 HP. That is to say, permanent until you get a game over because Rinoa died.

Yeah. I didn't say it was a good idea, just that you could! I wonder why they bothered letting you? Pretty funny I think.

Mercen-X

08-10-2012, 07:04 AM

I will use the word pun however I damn well please. :colbert:Well, you're no pun. :sweatdrop

Jiro

08-14-2012, 03:59 AM

Surprise!

Least Favourite Recurring Summon

These guys keep coming back. Why? Well I guess Square Enix thought that people appreciated a little consistency. That's probably why they went and did that stupid smurfing linking of FFVII, FFX and FFX-2. Then they went and put FFTactics, FFTA, FFTA2, FFXII, Revenant Wings and Vagrant Story in the same universe. God damn. But you hate this sort of thing. You like it when everything is FRESH and EXCITING. Well fine. Have it your way.

First Place (3)
Just two tied winners here. Say hello to Ifrit and Odin!

http://www.creativeuncut.com/gallery-01/art/ff9-odin.jpg

http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-OQBxI_uLlIY/T4Q9bs0sNXI/AAAAAAAAALA/uFFWRn4l_B0/s1600/I1.jpg

Odin. I don't like horses.
I'm sure they absolutely love you though Bubba. Mmmhmmm. Yeaaah.

I'll go with Ifrit. I generally dislike the early summons, particularly elementals because magic can usually do their job just as well or better, and with less MP cost. The only reason I'm going with Ifrit over Shiva or Ramuh is because Ramuh looks like Gandalf and Shiva shows some skin. Sure, these summons have been useful in some games (even if Ramuh gets replaced too often), but by and large I never use them. Maybe I've never forgiven them for being useless in FFIV since you start with Titan and the like as soon as you have access to them and Titan was always cooler.

Titan is pretty cool but the fact you vote for the weird demon over the sexy chick and gandalf makes me love you so hard.

Odin, at least until they figured out he should so damage if he can’t instant death.

Odin ever deals damage?

Odin has a habit of instant killing enemies, which can be annoying if you're trying to deal with them in a certain manner, or steal from them, or something of the sort. His ability is also random, and doesn't work on bosses, making it one really inconvenient manner of doing stuff.

Stupid smurfing instant death when you don't want it.

One Pointers

Titan
Chocobo
Diabolos
Ramuh

Chocobo, not useful in battle, but it was fun to watch in FF VII.
Way to pick one of the least recurring summons bro.

I don't know
WELL NEITHER DO I.

Diabolos...useless where it counts.
Which is where? Try being more specific guys. Come on. Seriously now.

Ramuh. Didn't really find him useful in any FF I played that has him. I'm just gonna assume he counts as recurring.
I like to think that a big beardy old dude with command over lightning would be pretty smurfing useful. Have you ever been struck by lightning? No? Well then you don't get a say.

Third Place (2)
Quite a few tied up here! Give a big warm welcome to Siren, Shiva, Slyph and Carbuncle! Way to ruin the smurfing S thing we had going, you sluts.

Siren. Nothing worth spending the MP to summon her is vulnerable to silence. And then in FFVIII you get Doomtrain anyway.
Doomtrain only causes arousal in one person I know, though.

Hard to come up with one here since most recurring summons are pretty good. I'll go with Sylph.
Didn't even know Slyph was recurring. Maybe you're wrong.

Gameplay-wise, Siren.

I think this is the second time you've done this. YES, GAMEPLAY WISE YOU GIANT SPASTIC. THAT WAS THE ENTIRE POINT OF EVERYTHING. I wonder now if you've just answered these questions aesthetically or something because it would explain why you are so far off the mark that I want to kill myself before you.

Carbuncle, because it's rarely useful after the token boss battle after you just acquire it(Exdeath, Edea, ect...). The only game it would have been super useful in is a game that predates it's existence (IV).
That actually makes sense so I forgive you for breaking the S chain we had going.

SEE HOW FUCKING CONFUSING THINGS ARE WHEN YOU CHANGE THEM UP? Let's not hate on tradition, folks. Let's enjoy it like one enjoys a nice glass of chocolate milk after a hard day of being awesome. Not that you would know.

Del Murder

08-14-2012, 04:25 AM

Sylph is in FFIV and FFV!

Jiro

08-14-2012, 04:34 AM

That's like saying Gogo is a recurring character. One cameo does not count.

Loony BoB

08-14-2012, 11:11 AM

That's like saying Gogo is a recurring character. One cameo does not count.
On the first occasion, Sylph occurs. On the second occasion, Sylph reoccurs.

Also, all summons are cameos, surely? :p

How is Siren off the mark!?

Jessweeee♪

08-14-2012, 02:34 PM

The only reason I voted Siren instead of Carbuncle is because Carbuncle has at least one boss fight it's useful for in FFVIII. If you summon him your first fight against Edea then she won't do anything until she's dispelled reflect from your whole party (in later fights she'll just cast reflect on herself). Siren was never useful (at least as a summon in battle).

Mercen-X

08-14-2012, 04:53 PM

I ended up voting Titan? Despite not even knowing he was really a recurring summon because I've only seen him VII... and my answer of "I don't know" was inaccurate. Titan is more or less useless in VII because it doesn't damage flying creatures (which there is a surprising number of) and you get him late in the game. If I had had access to Titan like perhaps against Aps, I'd probably have voted for some other summon. Oh well... :eyebrow:

Slothy

08-15-2012, 02:36 AM

Well, it's the end of a long day and we're nearing the end of the census reveal (should only be another week or seven) so I don't really have the energy to be a jerk. Lucky for all of you I'm sure.

Favourite Limit Break System
First the one pointers because changing things up just to confuse people is cruel when you're IQ's are so abysmally low:

Skillchains
Desperation Attacks (VI)
Trance

I don't know what skillchains are.

Favorite limit break system - Skillchain System (FF11)

Still don't know what they are, but at least now I know which game I won't be looking up on the FF wiki because I don't really care.

Spooniest voted for FFVI's desperation attacks making him one of the 1% of FFVI players who has ever even seen them. He offered no explanation for his answer. My guess is he was high on LSD when he voted.

Favorite limit break system - Trance, I appreciate that it wasn't simply just some special FMV style attack but something that changed the effectiveness of a character's given role in battle. I also actually don't mind having them non-transferrable because I feel Limit Breaks break the games when they are made too useful. I mean they seriously suck the challenge out of boss battles in VII, VIII, and X.

I agree with you on the first part, but not about them being used immediately and never being able to be saved. Yeah you could argue that limits break VII, VIII, and X. Instead I'd argue they were already broken so twisting the arm a bit more doesn't really matter much. Either way, I'd rather have the ability to control them. Whether they're broken or not is really a separate issue altogether.

Next up:
Quickenings - 2 total votes

Favorite limit break system
I wouldn't say I'm super partial to any of them. I guess I'll go with FFXII though. It was useful, could be used when it would benefit you the most, but had the potential to fail spectacularly and leave you vulnerable without much MP. Every other system was either too exploitable, or tried to remove your control over it to make it less exploitable, but also a lot less useful.

It's almost like I tailored my answer as a response to WK's despite getting my votes in before his. Yep, here we go. Useful, but with a massive downside, especially if you don't do much damage. Pretty much the best expression of limits so far if you ask me, even if they did look ridiculous.

Sadly, by voting for FFXII here I also happened to agree with Sum1sGruj. If it weren't for him being banned (and crazy) we may have been able to bond over this common ground.

Third place:
Desperation Attacks (VIII) - 3 total votes

Favorite limit break system
FFVIII. Partly because they all function in a unique way and parly because they're pretty broken. When I want to just beat something into the ground I bring Irvine with his bottomless supply of ammo (courtesy of Ifrit) and Zell with those .3 second punches.

Voting for them because they're broken? Ok, I can understand that I guess. I mean, it's not like FFVIII wasn't broken already with that awfully balanced junction system so adding on the limits on top of it is really just the final straw that broke the camels back.

Favorite limit break system: FFVIII - Unique per character, more likely to come around during low health, making you weigh up the risk of death vs. the strenght of attacks. It can get out of hand at times, particularly with the 'luck of the draw' bit. But I think if they combined VII with VIII so that the limit bar just went up far faster when in 'yellow' health, that would probably make the perfect limit system for me.

Wait, Loony BoB made a valid point for once? Fuck me sideways! Yep, limits were so over the top broken in FFVII that they at least tried to fix them. Of course the whole risk/reward thing didn't pan out too well when there was some risk, but the reward was instantly killing anything ever.

Second Place:
Overdrives - 7 total votes

Favorite limit break system: FFX. I liked the different methods you could set to get your Overdrive and the different button presses for each character were cool too.

Pretty much every explanation ctrl+f found for me was a variant of this. Yep, FFX let you choose how best to break the game. And apparently people like pressing buttons or something.

First Place:
Limit Break (VII) – 8 total votes

What else but the game that started us on the sketchy train to broke town could you possibly pick? Yeah, I know, FFVI had limits first. But until someone other than Spooniest sees one they don't count.

Favorite limit break system: FFVII. Omnislash. That is all.

Concise, to the point, and the best example of how broken FFVII is. Fair enough.

Favorite limit break system: FF7. I liked the fact that you got more of them the tighter a spot you got into, that you could have some control over when you used them but by having them eliminate the ‘Attack’ command it was difficult to save them for extended periods of time.

You heard it here first folks. Limits: the FFVII easy button.

Well, that's all we have time for now folks. Join us next time when we'll be randomly selecting a single voter and petitioning WK to ban them if their answer offends us.

That or we'll just have more reveals or something. I don't know.

Mercen-X

08-15-2012, 03:23 AM

Please! Let it be me!

Del Murder

08-15-2012, 04:04 AM

The Man

08-15-2012, 05:23 AM

I don't really have the energy to be a jerk. Lucky for all of you I'm sure.

Who are you kidding, you and Jiro being jerks is the best part about this census.

Jessweeee♪

08-15-2012, 10:09 PM

Jiro

09-02-2012, 09:53 AM

Oi. Dickheads. Over here. Yeah, you. I'm talking to you, the slackjawed halfwit who is clearly suffering from at least two mental disabilities and three or more physical ones. Time for another reveal. You thought I had forgotten? No, I just had better things to do then feed you swines useful information. Don't be bitches about it.

I hope you are as attentive as I am because we're going to try something again. Two-in-one. You remember how this went last time? Good, because it will be completely different. Let's try and use some tables.

Favourite Limit Break System ----------- Least Favourite Limit Break System
Limit Breaks (VII)................8 ---------------Trance...............................10
Overdrives.........................7 --------------- Desperation Attacks (VI).......4
Desperation Attacks(VIII)....3 --------------- Desperation Attacks (VIII).....3
Quickenings.......................2 --------------- Full ATB Attack....................2
Skillchains..........................1 --------------- Overdrives...........................1
Desperation Attacks (VI).....1 --------------- Quickenings.........................1
Trance..............................1

Favourite Limit Break System
I wouldn't say I'm super partial to any of them. I guess I'll go with FFXII though. It was useful, could be used when it would benefit you the most, but had the potential to fail spectacularly and leave you vulnerable without much MP. Every other system was either too exploitable, or tried to remove your control over it to make it less exploitable, but also a lot less useful.

Least Favourite Limit Break System
FFVI. Since your characters only use theirs at random when low on health I didn't even know about them until years after buying the game and several playthroughs. And even after I found out about them, it was another few years until I saw Mog use his. I've never seen one used since that either for the very simple reason that I don't let my characters remain low on health. Usually they won't even lose enough to be able to use their abilities.

Favourite Limit Break System
FF7. I liked the fact that you got more of them the tighter a spot you got into, that you could have some control over when you used them but by having them eliminate the ‘Attack’ command it was difficult to save them for extended periods of time. Honorable mention goes to FF10. Though the fact you could just have them constantly saved to unload on a boss was unbalancing the fact that you could change how they charged enabled you to fit them in a little more with your strategy. It would be interested to see this implemented in a better way.

Least Favourite Limit Break System
FF6. In theory having an awesome desperation attack come save you is cool, but they were so infrequent I have to be constantly reminded they exist. Honorable mention goes to FF8 for being so exploitable.
These are the only two people who gave me answers that could be used here. You should all be ashamed of yourselves. The Desperation Attacks of Final Fantasy VIII have people on the fence, but it seems that, for the first time this entire smurfing Census, you people haven't been completely garbage. Well done!

Loony BoB

09-02-2012, 10:33 AM

*ashamed* :(

Hollycat

09-02-2012, 03:40 PM

I completely forgot about this.

Raistlin

09-03-2012, 02:21 AM

Who put VI as their favorite limit break system? Really?

I agree with Vivi; Quickenings were a pretty cool concept. They started out ridiculously powerful, but got to the point where you had to be really careful with them (unless you were an expert with massive chains, I guess).

Slothy

09-03-2012, 03:40 AM

Who put VI as their favorite limit break system? Really?

Spooniest since you asked.

I don't get it either. I assume some damn good drugs were involved either while playing FFVI, voting, or both.

Jinx

09-06-2012, 08:49 PM

*ashamed* :(

goddammit bob

Jiro

09-08-2012, 02:05 PM

We're winding to a close now. Better late than never, right? I suppose I just wanted to prolong my own misery; half the time you people are wrong, and the other half you're wrong and make me want to rip off my own arm and beat myself to death with it. Do you even realise how terrible you have to be to force that kind of emotion on someone? You all need to go to a church and confess your grievous sins to God. Maybe he'll spare you because I certainly smurfing won't.

Favourite Unique Summon ------------------- Least Favourite Unique Summon
Magus Sisters.....................4 ------------------ Yojimbo..................3
Anima...............................3 ------------------ Eden......................3
Knights of the Round..........2 ------------------ Goblin/Imp..............2
Madeen/Maduin..................1 ------------------ Tonberry................1
Choco-Mog........................1 ------------------ Belias.....................1
Moogle.............................1 ------------------ Typhon..................1
Doomtrain.........................1 ------------------ Byrnhilda................1
Eden................................1 ------------------ Cait Sith.................1
Zalera...............................1 ------------------ Doomtrain..............1
Typhon.............................1 ------------------ Kujata...................1
Jumbo Cactuar...................1 ------------------ Crusader................1
NOBODY LOLS...................0 ------------------ Ixion.....................1

Favourite Unique Summon
The Magus Sisters in FFX. I love FFIV so the nostalgia there may have won me over, but I also enjoyed questing to get them, and found the way they were an interesting change from the other summons. If I'm not mistaken they controlled a bit differently when it came to actual gameplay which I found novel, but my memories of FFX are a bit fuzzy now.

Least Favourite Unique Summon
Belias. Utterly useless in FFXII, though I appreciate the irony of one of the hardest bosses in FFT being made into the worst summon in FFXII.

Favourite Unique Summon
FFX Magus Sisters. They're unique alright. And adorable!

Least Favourite Unique Summon
Yojimbo. Like the Magus Sisters above, there's no other summon like him, and thank goodness for that.

Favourite unique summon
Choco/Mog deals wind damage and also has a chance to stop (or paralyze, I forget which) the targets, meaning you then get some breathing space to heal up or continue dealing damage. Additionally there's the Fat Chocobo random chance which deals even more damage and is quick funny to boot. The summon is also cheap, and the easiest to master so you can give it to everyone!

Least favorite unique summon
Yojimbo. He's like the summon form of Gil Toss, and for that reason he is ineffective, expensive and unnecessary.

I don't get it. :confused:

Favourite Unique Summon
That Sephiroth summon 'Pale Horse' I think. I remember thinking "Wow. This is awesome...and it's gonna kick the tit out of me". I didn't mind the length.

Least Favourite Unique Summon
Doomtrain. It's a train. Although I wish I could summon a train to Manchester Piccadilly at 5.30pm on a weekday.

Favourite Unique Summon
Anima, despite how much I dislike FFX, there is something gleefully sadistic about using her.

Least Favourite Unique Summon
Ixion, smurfing useless horse thing... My GF always renames it "Useless" whenever she plays through FFX. It has no hp, no defense, even it's evasion is not that great compared to Valefore and it's unique skill and Overdrive are lame.

Half of these smurfing summons I have never heard of. Does that make me a bad Final Fantasy player? No, smurf you for even thinking that. It makes you hipster smurftards who hack the game data to find the names of random ass creatures who show up once in the series and then get trashed for being utterly retarded ideas concocted while smoking some really bad cactuar. I put Gamblet's quote in there not as an example of a moronic imbecile who struggles to understand simple questions but as an example of someone who gets that you shouldn't care about this one. Shout out to Freya who only answered "yer mom" to the question Favourite Unique Summon. Damn straight, girl.

Raistlin

09-08-2012, 05:59 PM

A lot of FFX talk here. I definitely have to agree with Yojimbo for least favorite. KotR might be more deserving if it wasn't so fucking long.

Mercen-X

09-08-2012, 06:39 PM

http://i11.photobucket.com/albums/a156/Mercen-X/stfuhand.gif

Slothy

09-14-2012, 02:01 PM

Census results update! You know what that means: Vivi22 is home sick and since I can't cough on you all, I'll settle for hating every one of you.

Favorite world map
First up, the los... wait, is it really fair to call them losers if they're in the favourite category?

The correct answer is yes, of course it is.
V- 2 total votes
VIII - 2 total votes
XII - 1 vote

Favorite world map: FF5 end map
Seeing how the world maps came together and made all sorts of sense was awesome.

Favorite world map: Final Fantasy V, it has like 3 world maps and they are every time so different, exploring them is fun.

Favorite world map: XII. The world map areas are locations/dungeons in and of themselves rather than in-between sections between towns or caves. If you're looking for traditional world map preference: VII. I like the progression and orientation the most. No jumping around and no plot depositing you at arbitrary corners of the world for story purposes.

No. No flip flopping. Unless you're name is Mitt Romney.

Third Place:
VII - 4 total votes

Favorite world map
Final Fantasy VII's is just barely better than IX's in my books. Not just plain fun to fly over but also fun to traverse during the storyline.

Favorite world map: FFVII. Perfect blend of areas plus you could go underwater.

Leave it to Del to like an underwater area. I'm sure there's a joke about sleeping with the fishes in there somewhere.

Second Place:
IX - 6 total votes

Favorite world map
The world map of IX was pretty great, and maintained a sense of adventure. Once you leave the Mist Continent, you're still limited to foot travel. Even as you gain more and more vehicles, the world doesn't immediately open up and allow you to go wherever you want, maintaining some mystery and exploratory value.

I almost didn't quote anyone because only Jiro actually explained his answer for FFIX people. Argh!

First Place:
VI - 7 total votes

In the interests of speeding things along because I feel like shit, here's what I said about it:

Favorite world map
Argh, this is tough. I'm going to go with FFVI I think because I liked being able to explore the world, then explore it in it's destroyed form all over again. FFV was cool too with how the two worlds fit together, but I have to give it to FFVI here.

Next up, and one near and dear to my heart:

Least favorite battle system (turn based, ATB, CTB, ADB, CSB)

Again, loser first:
CTB (FFX) - 2 total votes

I'd quote you guys, but apparently no one knows why they didn't like it.

Third Place:
ADB - 4 total votes

And four of you are proven insane. The men in white coats will collect you shortly. While you wait, let's all point and laugh at what you had to say for yourselves.

Least favorite battle system (turn based, ATB, CTB, ADB, CSB): FFXII's faux-MMO style. I prefer to be able to cleanly run, without getting the snot kicked out of me all the while.

As opposed to what? Being interrupted by a battle screen every five seconds?

Least favorite battle system (turn based, ATB, CTB, ADB, CSB)
ADB (XII's). It just doesn't feel like a Final Fantasy. The fact that you could switch accessories during battle can be so easily exploited and those goddamn enemy attacks that interrupt the fight are so annoying. I'm not even gonna start on the Quickenings.

Well, that's enough of that. Lastly, in a tie for first:
Turn Base - 6 total votes
CSB - 6 total votes

And once more, comments from the peanut gallery:

Least favorite battle system (turn based, ATB, CTB, ADB, CSB) - CSB, mainly because it's mostly flash and little else. Changing A.I. scripts gets old rather quickly and the limited roles and questionable A.I. scripts makes the game boring and frustrating. It's was a serious step back from FFXII's Gambit System/ADB.

Least favorite battle system (turn based, ATB, CTB, ADB, CSB)
Turn based usually. Most of the games are so easy to begin with that making it turn based takes away any pressure you may feel in battle. There are exceptions where turn based is quite interesting, such as FFT where enemies are almost always a bit of a threat and FFX where the turn based nature at least sped things up, and being able to see turn order on screen let you not only plan better, but see the effect of manipulating it. But when it's just bog standard turn based in your typical FF it's rarely that interesting a system.

Least favorite battle system (turn based, ATB, CTB, ADB, CSB): Turn Based. The fact that you never know what order the moves are going to come in forces you to play conservatively instead of using more involved strategies.

Least favorite battle system (turn based, ATB, CTB, ADB, CSB)
Inputting all of your moves in at the start of each round and letting speed handle the rest is very inaccurate, I feel. I like to know what moves I should use in every situation, rather than hoping the enemies don't hit a critical or target the same character etc.

Wait, what? I don't even know what that's a vote for Jiro!

Least favorite battle system (turn based, ATB, CTB, ADB, CSB): CSB. I don't hate it, but I don't like that it's so hands-off to the point that synergists and saboteurs just use EVERY buff and de-buff instead of just the relevant ones. It's not game-breaking at all but it basically encapsulates how thin the gameplay is of the whole game.

I guess that was more like comments from the census committee. Why? Because we actually explain our votes!

So here we are. Home stretch. Only two more to go, and I've got all day to complain at you. Will we finally finish this thing? Check in next year for the answer.

:p

Jiro

09-14-2012, 02:51 PM

I voted for the turnbased system from the original games xD I see how that was confusing though. Still, anything is better than setting your commands and waiting to see if they are still relevant after the very first move.

Mercen-X

09-14-2012, 04:54 PM

I saw it as a vote for the battle system from Dragon Breath.

Tigmafuzz

09-16-2012, 07:33 AM

and since I can't cough on you all, I'll settle for hating every one of you.

KEEP UP THAT ENTHUSIASM BUDDY! :<3:

Quindiana Jones

09-17-2012, 01:26 PM

People who dislike the FFXII battle system are horrible idiots. :kishi:

Raistlin

09-18-2012, 03:36 PM

Agreed. FFXII was a step in the right direction for more dynamic JRPGs.

Jiro

09-27-2012, 06:06 AM

Click (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AyggY_R3jU8).

This is it gang. You've been abysmal failures all the way through. Can you turn the tides!? Welcome to the Final Countdown!!!!!

Favourite Recurring Summon

One Pointers

Shiva
Carbuncle
Golem

Ramuh

Look at these guys! They keep coming back for more and you can't even respect them enough to vote in their favour. These poor summons give it their all each time. Okay, so why do you like these one point performers?

Carbuncle (so cute ^_^)
Poor Carbuncle. Tries so hard and just gets called cute. I know girls who hate being called cute because it's about as complimentary as being called a walking sack of shit.

I would say Gilgamesh, but he isn't THAT useful. So I am going with Golem, because you can block attacks.
Gilgamesh isn't even the first thought in Gamblet's head. Way to devalue his contributions. Oh yay, you're my runner up and all you do is block attacks. FUCK MAN HE'S A MEATSHIELD FOR YOU.

I don't really know which ones are recurring besides Efreet and Shiva. I prefer to see a new summon... honestly.
You hipster. No Final Fantasy game ever used Efreet!

Fiery Fourth (2)
Joint fourth place getters Ifrit and Phoenix are here to heat things up. These hotties are all about turning things to ash right. Maybe they can help me burn you guys at a level where you might actually realise just how much your life needs to change.

I am the God of hellfire and I bring you...Ifrit. Not quite as catchy but Ifrit is still cool. Or hot. But not in an 'I fancy you' kind of way.
You totally fancy him, dude.

Phoenix, as it often revives the party in addition to dealing damage. Coupled with the Final Attack materia in VII, it becomes an auto-revive, plus dealing fire damage, which can easily save the party's ass in a fight.
Oh look at that, I give the only well thought out explanation this time around. LIKE 90% OF THE FUCKING TIME YOU USELESS COCK WASTRELS.

Theocratic Third(3)
It belongs to that fella Alexander. All I remember of him is that he is a castle in Final Fantasy IX and gets his ass utterly handed to him. Not very impressive (although the FMV sequence is fucking superb a+++ would watch again).

Alexander, a giant robot fortress that sometimes has angel wings and fires Holy Light to purge it's enemies? Sign me up. It's also just nice to have an AoE Holy Spell. Though I wish the series would drop the Macross missile attack and go back to the Holy Laser Beam of Doom.
See this is the kind of responses we're after. Try and remember that for next time. How wicked does the Holy Laser Beam of Doom sound, man? Fuck. Yes.

Sultry Second (4)
ahahahaha tricked you this one goes to Odin. What a kickass guy. Instakiller. He should release his own rap album.

Odin. I like summons that just completely annihilate everything, especially in FF VIII where he can be really useful.
Karifean proving he has never actually played Final Fantasy VIII and experienced the crushing disappointment caused by Odin's appearance.

Fucking First (6)
It doesn't alliterate after the fucking filter fucks with it but shut up I don't even care. The winner is Bahamut which is entirely unexpected because nothing fucks shit up like Bahamut fucks shit up.

Bahamut. I really don't have a specific gameplay reason other than it's usually one of the more powerful summons out there and I like Dragons. FFVII having 3 versions of it tickled me in all of the right places as a kid. Sure it's glorified black magic, but sometimes I just want to hit my enemy really hard.
Yeah man. Sometimes you just want to take your Bahamut and smash it into a census voter's head and hope that the Mega Flare melts their entire skull so that even if they come back as a zombie you won't have to look at their stupid fucking face.

http://i94.photobucket.com/albums/l84/dr_crusis/BahamutShoop.jpg

Jiro

09-27-2012, 06:30 AM

How many dudes you know roll like this? How many dudes you know flow like this? Uh huh, uh huh, I don't know, any body (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1hUrR44RlcY).

This is it. The final one. Let's get it on.

Least Favourite Optional Boss

Yeah, let's end it on a negative note because you're all fucking dicks.

One Pointers

Gigantuar

Dark Aeons

FFXIII Mark Hunts
Mage Masher
Dynamus-Valkerium

Omega
Wutai Masters
Omega Weapon (FFX)
Lunasaur
Jumbo Cactuar
Omega Weapon (VIII)

Ultima WEAPON

Penance

Yiazmat

Anything from FF13. Honorable mentions also go out to any that are missable.
Why the hate, man? :(

Gigantuar :stare:
Great explanation. Great. Thank you. So much.

Mage Master in FF VI, after climbing the stairs of Fanatic's Tower for an hour and reaching the top, I got owned by this guy when he cast Ultima... I defeated him later when I cast Life3 on all of my party members....
Yeah Mage Masher is a bit of a right royal :bou::bou::bou::bou:.

The boss of Dynamis-Valkurm in FFXI. Forget the name but it's a marlboro with an AOE INSTANT DEATH ATTACK. Can waste your entire alliance with one attack (used randomly) basiclly meaning the last two hours you spent farming to pop it were wasted.
Can't say I've heard of 'im but I'll take your word for it.

Ultimate WEAPON (VII). Just come at me bro.
NO YOU COME AT ME.

Yiazmat, no, I am not going to spend 3+ hours of my life whacking a million hp monster, The fact I can leave and save between life bars just shows how utterly stupid and tedious this boss fight is. I wish we got the International Zodiac Job versions because then the ultimate boss fight would be souped up versions of the Five Judges.
Nobody should spend 3+ hours on a single fight. Are you sure you're not just shit at this game?

First Place (2)
We've got a tie here. The only two bosses to get a second vote come out on top. Goddamn. Congrats Deathgaze and Ruby WEAPON who are only slightly hated. And well done to the four people who voted and managed to give me absolutely nothing to work with. You're all rubbish. I hate you. Fucking knobjockeys.

So that brings us to the long awaited conclusion to this EoFF Census. I hope you've enjoyed it because I have struggled to put up with your stupid responses and lack of any justifiable responses.