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View Full Version : Don't Quit Your Day Job!



Sephex
08-17-2012, 11:10 PM
What do you think the cast of FFX does for work when they aren't fighting giant whale monster things? We all know that Tidus is the star player of the Zanarkand Abraham Lincolns, sure...

But let's shake things up a bit. What if the main characters would do for a living if they were suddenly transported to our world?

Tidus: He would most likely gravitate to a sport that he calls "Ground Blitzball." Would he be any good? Well, if he, like other Blitzball players, can hold their breath for long periods of time I suppose he wouldn't get winded very easily...except that he does! Maybe you have to be underwater not to get winded! Okay, so Tidus plays Ground Blitzball with a clear helmet on filled up with water.

Yuna: Yuna becomes an actress on TV. After getting a start in a major soap opera, she eventually becomes one of the lead characters in a sitcom that features a talking couch. Seth McFarlane is the show's creator. Whenever anyone goes near Yuna's character it screams,"STAY AWAY FROM THE SUMMONER!" The show is the number one rated program on television.

Rikku: I can see two paths for her. She would be a great auto mechanic or quickly learn that she could make more money by stripping. She looks good enough and would be able to work the places nice enough to be called a "gentleman's club." You won't see her in those hole in the wall places that serve bottom of the well liquor that requires a policy of all strippers having at least five bullet holes in them. Not that I know about such facilities...

Wakka: Convinced that all middle eastern people are Al Bhed, Wakka would join the US military to help out in various wars. However, he gets discharged when he insists on using a volleyball as a weapon. From there, Wakka really gets into Bob Marley and ends up working a string of minimum wage jobs while smoking pot with a few stoner buddies he met when we worked at a 7-11.

Lulu: Gets immediately hired by Hot Topic without a choice. She works her way up to become District Manager. Then she successfully develops a policy where all shoplifters are beaten to death with belts. She also changes the company logo to incorporate Belto Maxson.

Auron: He opens his own bar in a major city that becomes wildly successful. There is no bouncer because once word broke out on how he stopped altercations, no one dares to fight within the walls of his business. Auron eventually crafts new drinks based on his experience in Spira, but most of them are far too dangerous to drink. His drink of choice is Absinthe.

Kimahri: Obviously, he hosts his own late night talk show. He stares at the guests sternly until they break down crying. The show's band plays nothing but Black Metal.

Jiro
08-18-2012, 04:25 AM
Yuna could make it as a pop star in the real world. Brother would be her number one fan.

Sephex
08-18-2012, 04:38 AM
Yuna could make it as a pop star in the real world. Brother would be her number one fan.

Brother would live in the southern US because he wants to bang his cousin. He would own a trailer and do tons of PCP.

Shorty
08-18-2012, 08:02 AM
Tidus: Tidus becomes a PE teacher for a local elementary school and races dirtbikes in his free time. He's often thought about returning to play Blitzball, but since the accident, he can't just can't bear it.

Yuna: Yuna gets struck by lighting and lose her voice, thus never being able to live her life out as a pop star like she dreamed. Unable to sing and barely able to speak, she volunteers for a medical experiment that could bring her voice back. It works, but oh no, now she's an alto instead of a soprano! How will she move on!

Rikku: Rikku becomes a hairdresser by day and a club bartender by night, letting men do body shots off her for extra tips. She was going to go to school for psychology, but bartending makes more money. She has also has a special piercing. Tongue, guys. It's the tongue. Dirtbags.

Wakka: Wakka gets drafted into the NFL but misses his first season due to a head injury from trying to cannonball into a pool at his niece's fifth birthday party. He missed and instead hit the cement. He comes back next season, though, as an all-star player.

Lulu: Lulu is a DJ at the club that Rikku works for. In her spare time she is head chef at an up-and-coming restaurant where she gets to scream at all the underlings who don't fetch her avocadoes and spices quickly enough.

Auron: Auron gets a DUI and with his spare time on house arrest for attempted manslaughter becomes a horror writer and incurs the wrath of Stephen King who believes Auron stole a plot from him that he's been working on for decades but has never released. Stephen King sues Auron but loses, and Auron's story goes on to become a three-film release directed by Peter Jackson.

Kimahri: Kimahri becomes an Olymian master at the High Jump and wins several gold medals throughout the years. The publicity and attention he receives causes him to become a hermit and he retires in a warm little cottage in the mountains with his pet white tiger Snowflake.

blackmage_nuke
08-18-2012, 01:22 PM
Tidus: Water Polo
Yuna: Assuming loss of healing abilities and summoning abilities, she would seem to have no useful skills for this world, she can sing but in a world where she isnt ridiculously famous already for killing sin and where thousands of people are trying to break into the musical biz she wouldnt be very sucessful. As such I think she wouldnt be so probably knocked up by Tidus.
Wakka: Live with the Amish because the technology in this world would terrify him.
Lulu: Get knocked up by Wakka
Kimahri: Spends the rest of his days attempting to alude capture. Probably hangs out with bigfoot or something, or more likely one of those mountain yeti's.
Auron: Tidus's body guard.
Rikku: This is the only one where I agree with the OP, she'd become a mechanical engineer of sorts, building machines of death. However she'd have to do some lewd things for money to get through college.

edczxcvbnm
08-18-2012, 07:00 PM
You totally got Wakka all wrong. The guy is a food monger plain and simple. I imagine him more using his volley-blitzy-like-ball to knock out or kill everyone in grocery stores and gorge. He will die of a heart attack in 1 year and weight close to 700 lbs. That is the life Wakka would lead if he fell into our world.

Shorty
08-18-2012, 08:50 PM
And then they will name a cheeseburger after him.

blackmage_nuke
08-18-2012, 11:59 PM
Double Wakka with Cheese

iceman00890
08-20-2012, 04:18 AM
Wakke:goes to hollywood tans!
Yuna: buys free cornholes
Auron: is dead, so being dead
Kimahri: takes over ronso pride and mates with all females
Rikku: becomes a stripper to pay for college
Tidus: nothing

Nebulance
08-20-2012, 12:30 PM
What do you think the cast of FFX does for work when they aren't fighting giant whale monster things? We all know that Tidus is the star player of the Zanarkand Abraham Lincolns, sure...

But let's shake things up a bit. What if the main characters would do for a living if they were suddenly transported to our world?

Tidus: He would most likely gravitate to a sport that he calls "Ground Blitzball." Would he be any good? Well, if he, like other Blitzball players, can hold their breath for long periods of time I suppose he wouldn't get winded very easily...except that he does! Maybe you have to be underwater not to get winded! Okay, so Tidus plays Ground Blitzball with a clear helmet on filled up with water.

Yuna: Yuna becomes an actress on TV. After getting a start in a major soap opera, she eventually becomes one of the lead characters in a sitcom that features a talking couch. Seth McFarlane is the show's creator. Whenever anyone goes near Yuna's character it screams,"STAY AWAY FROM THE SUMMONER!" The show is the number one rated program on television.

Rikku: I can see two paths for her. She would be a great auto mechanic or quickly learn that she could make more money by stripping. She looks good enough and would be able to work the places nice enough to be called a "gentleman's club." You won't see her in those hole in the wall places that serve bottom of the well liquor that requires a policy of all strippers having at least five bullet holes in them. Not that I know about such facilities...

Wakka: Convinced that all middle eastern people are Al Bhed, Wakka would join the US military to help out in various wars. However, he gets discharged when he insists on using a volleyball as a weapon. From there, Wakka really gets into Bob Marley and ends up working a string of minimum wage jobs while smoking pot with a few stoner buddies he met when we worked at a 7-11.

Lulu: Gets immediately hired by Hot Topic without a choice. She works her way up to become District Manager. Then she successfully develops a policy where all shoplifters are beaten to death with belts. She also changes the company logo to incorporate Belto Maxson.

Auron: He opens his own bar in a major city that becomes wildly successful. There is no bouncer because once word broke out on how he stopped altercations, no one dares to fight within the walls of his business. Auron eventually crafts new drinks based on his experience in Spira, but most of them are far too dangerous to drink. His drink of choice is Absinthe.

Kimahri: Obviously, he hosts his own late night talk show. He stares at the guests sternly until they break down crying. The show's band plays nothing but Black Metal.

I think this made my day. Especially the comments about Wakka and Kimahri!

Jiro
08-20-2012, 12:59 PM
http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_luh8a3jCnT1r6rotjo1_500.png

Sephex
08-20-2012, 05:00 PM
http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_luh8a3jCnT1r6rotjo1_500.png

GyJNEZPm-pQ

Jiro
08-21-2012, 07:16 AM
http://media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m5xwa7ZmHE1qbv3pj.jpg

Jiro
08-21-2012, 07:19 AM
OH FUCK I KNOW WAKKA NEEDS TO BE A CEILING INSPECTOR

http://24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lzkjwxt90P1qmb4n3o2_400.gif

Sephex
08-21-2012, 10:19 PM
Why am I laughing so hard?

Jiro
08-22-2012, 02:23 AM
Don't question it, just enjoy it :monster:

Laddy
08-22-2012, 02:45 AM
I like how the entire cast becomes absolutely miserable failures. :kakapo:

Jinx
08-22-2012, 01:06 PM
I like how the entire cast becomes absolutely miserable failures. :kakapo:

As if they weren't already.