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View Full Version : The Official "Why Pike Shouldn't Ever Get Married, Ever" Thread



Quindiana Jones
08-19-2012, 10:18 PM
Personally, I think she should remain forever alone, but hey ho, she's ignoring all my Mognet Messages. :roll2

As it is, she's dating someone. Some jerk. What if it's serious? What if they actually like each other and it's not simply a formal arrangement for ease of reproduction? What they get married?! :eek:

What we need to do is dissuade Pike of her preconceptions of marriage, and make her realise that her partner has no good points. We shall do this by listing everything bad about I'm My Own MILF and why that'll only get worse if they get hitched.

1. Irish, so inherently violent and prone to alcoholism.
2. Freakishly tall, so they'll have to move into a house with 1.5x floors. Basically, a castle. Do you know how expensive castles are?
3. Moderates a Final Fantasy forum, so is obviously a sociopath.
4. Has a nice, gentle voice, so is obviously a sociopath or, at best, a child molester.
5. Probably eats too much ravioli.

Now it's your turn, EoFF. Feel free to get involved, Hux 'n' Pike; you know MILF better than anyone.

Laddy
08-19-2012, 10:56 PM
Don't you see they're obviously MADE for each other.

Clo
08-19-2012, 10:57 PM
The first time he Dutch ovens her, she might get second thoughts.

Unless he already has. Then she's passed the Fourth Challenge and now must face the boss battle.

I almost want you guys to make a list about me to give to my boyfriend. I tell him I suck, but he doesn't believe me!

Pike
08-20-2012, 12:17 AM
1. Irish, so inherently violent and prone to alcoholism.

Don't forget that he's also half-Estonian, which should really tell you everything you need to know.

Madame Adequate
08-20-2012, 12:27 AM
Eh, didn't bother Rye when I did that Clo. Then again Rye's just deranged. My farts are still pretty fragrant though.

Citizen Bleys
08-20-2012, 01:08 AM
Hux is awesome. Don't listen to any urine-swilling guttersnipes who say anything to the contrary.

The Man
08-20-2012, 01:13 AM
urine-swilling guttersnipesI'm going to have to steal this.

NorthernChaosGod
08-20-2012, 02:00 AM
Well his name is Huxley.

Raistlin
08-20-2012, 02:24 AM
Huxley? More like Sucksley, amirite.

Jiro
08-20-2012, 02:48 AM
Don't smurf with him. He's kind of like a big cuddly teddy bear but bears are ferocious and so he will just tear out your windpipe.

EDIT: and by that I mean Pike should definitely marry him for protection

Tigmafuzz
08-20-2012, 04:15 AM
Quin, we already have a being nosey (http://home.eyesonff.com/general-chat/144093-being-nosey.html) thread.


Don't forget that he's also half-Estonian, which should really tell you everything you need to know.

He's Pauly Shore?

Shorty
08-20-2012, 04:54 AM
Because Huxley as an evil world dictator enforcing his reign of terror with his Pikebot at his side will mean the end for all of us.

It's up to EoFF to save the world, folks. Rip these two apart.

Agent Proto
08-20-2012, 04:55 AM
Robots need to mate and procreate too.

Freya
08-20-2012, 05:09 AM
Robots don't mate or reproduce like that. They come of assembly lines, silly.

Agent Proto
08-20-2012, 05:16 AM
I was figuratively speaking in my post.

Shorty
08-20-2012, 05:17 AM
This is serious, Jeffie. They could bring about the creation of Skynet if they manage to get married. We must not allow it.

Shiny
08-20-2012, 06:27 AM
4. Has a nice, gentle voice, so is obviously a sociopath or, at best, a child molester.
Are you sir, insinuating that Bob Ross was a child molester?

Quindiana Jones
08-20-2012, 08:42 AM
With a name like Bob Ross, could he have been anything less?

Shlup
08-20-2012, 10:28 AM
This thread started out bad and got horrible almost immediately.

Jiro
08-20-2012, 10:52 AM
The only direction from here is up then, right?

Quindiana Jones
08-20-2012, 01:12 PM
I blame Pike and MILF. If they weren't together, this atrocity of a thread would never have occurred.

Parker
08-20-2012, 01:12 PM
imagine the brony wedding

Parker
08-20-2012, 01:16 PM
imagine this thread is the catalyst for pike's growing apprehension and finally at the wedding she can't stand the idea of marriage anymore and falls out of the window of the church a la Yuna only to be caught on the back of a noble multicoloured steed and gallops away

Clo
08-20-2012, 02:03 PM
This thread started out bad and got horrible almost immediately.

That's the way I like it.

Hollycat
08-20-2012, 02:04 PM
imagine the brony wedding

Reception DJ'd by DJPON3

Jiro
08-21-2012, 01:25 AM
Oh god

Quindiana Jones
08-21-2012, 01:28 AM
I've created a monster.

Jinx
08-21-2012, 02:25 AM
4. Has a nice, gentle voice, so is obviously a sociopath or, at best, a child molester.
Are you sir, insinuating that Bob Ross was a child molester?

"Shhhh, just go with it."

Tigmafuzz
08-21-2012, 02:43 AM
4. Has a nice, gentle voice, so is obviously a sociopath or, at best, a child molester.
Are you sir, insinuating that Bob Ross was a child molester?

"Shhhh, just go with it."

"Just look at all that burnt sienna..."

Agent Proto
08-21-2012, 02:46 AM
4. Has a nice, gentle voice, so is obviously a sociopath or, at best, a child molester.
Are you sir, insinuating that Bob Ross was a child molester?

"Shhhh, just go with it."

"Just look at all that burnt sienna..."

"Let's go add some happy little bushes over here to hide behind. The kiddies will never know what's lurking behind them happy bushes, my friends."

Jiro
08-21-2012, 03:39 AM
What the fuck is going on in here now?

Jinx
08-21-2012, 03:44 AM
What the smurf is going on in here now?

Shh, just go with it.

Iceglow
08-21-2012, 04:00 AM
lmao I have a valid question as to the legality of such a wedding... is it actually legal for robots to get married. I mean doesn't Pike technically count as a glorified sex toy? Pikebot is a sex toy? Oh dear God! Once thought cannot be un-thought!

Agent Proto
08-21-2012, 04:08 AM
Of course robots can marry! Have you not seen Futurama?

Christmas
01-28-2023, 02:50 AM
Personally, I think she should remain forever alone, but hey ho, she's ignoring all my Mognet Messages. :roll2

As it is, she's dating someone. Some jerk. What if it's serious? What if they actually like each other and it's not simply a formal arrangement for ease of reproduction? What they get married?! :eek:

What we need to do is dissuade Pike of her preconceptions of marriage, and make her realise that her partner has no good points. We shall do this by listing everything bad about I'm My Own MILF and why that'll only get worse if they get hitched.

1. Irish, so inherently violent and prone to alcoholism.
2. Freakishly tall, so they'll have to move into a house with 1.5x floors. Basically, a castle. Do you know how expensive castles are?
3. Moderates a Final Fantasy forum, so is obviously a sociopath.
4. Has a nice, gentle voice, so is obviously a sociopath or, at best, a child molester.
5. Probably eats too much ravioli.

Now it's your turn, EoFF. Feel free to get involved, Hux 'n' Pike; you know MILF better than anyone.

Pike and MILF are together? I thought Rye was....nvm. i lost track.

Shauna
01-28-2023, 03:36 PM
Personally, I think she should remain forever alone, but hey ho, she's ignoring all my Mognet Messages. :roll2

As it is, she's dating someone. Some jerk. What if it's serious? What if they actually like each other and it's not simply a formal arrangement for ease of reproduction? What they get married?! :eek:

What we need to do is dissuade Pike of her preconceptions of marriage, and make her realise that her partner has no good points. We shall do this by listing everything bad about I'm My Own MILF and why that'll only get worse if they get hitched.

1. Irish, so inherently violent and prone to alcoholism.
2. Freakishly tall, so they'll have to move into a house with 1.5x floors. Basically, a castle. Do you know how expensive castles are?
3. Moderates a Final Fantasy forum, so is obviously a sociopath.
4. Has a nice, gentle voice, so is obviously a sociopath or, at best, a child molester.
5. Probably eats too much ravioli.

Now it's your turn, EoFF. Feel free to get involved, Hux 'n' Pike; you know MILF better than anyone.

Pike and MILF are together? I thought Rye was....nvm. i lost track.

not anymore. on both fronts.

probably best to not try and keep up

Dr. Acula
01-31-2023, 03:27 AM
not anymore. on both fronts.


Probably because Quin got involved and ruined it all.

Christmas
01-31-2023, 11:03 AM
Quin ruined everything. This is why EoFF came to such a state and we still can't get rid of him :(