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View Full Version : Living away from home for the first time!



KentaRawr!
08-30-2012, 02:58 PM
The age range here at EoFF is definitely pretty large, so this could either be something you're looking forward to, something you're doing for the first time (like me!), something that's long past, or anything in-between.

I'm in my second year at the University, but this is my first year where I'll be living in a dorm instead of commuting. In my case though, I'm not really cut off from my parents. I've yet to find a job on or near campus, so my Mom is still handling things like my groceries, admittedly. To say I'm "independent" would be silly considering how much I'm relying on her still.

Having lived away from home in this way before (on a much smaller scale, of course), it doesn't feel jarring at all. And because I already know the campus I'm living on pretty well, I don't feel lost. I'm still visiting my mom on the weekends too, so I don't feel cut off at all. Maybe I'll make a thread about independence once I'm actually there!

For now though, this thread is just about living away from home and your first experiences with it, or if you haven't moved away from home, what you're looking forward to, and whether or not you expect to move out. I'm curious! :p

Tigmafuzz
08-30-2012, 03:38 PM
Define "home."

KentaRawr!
08-30-2012, 04:26 PM
Define "home."

This is really different for lots of people, but for this let's just say home is where your parents or guardians or whatever live, assuming you lived with them growing up.

Raistlin
08-30-2012, 04:27 PM
I originally moved out freshman year of college. It wasn't shocking or jarring at all. Though it was better a couple of years later with my first apartment so that I could cook for myself instead of having a meal plan, because those were ripoffs.


In my case though, I'm not really cut off from my parents. I've yet to find a job on or near campus, so my Mom is still handling things like my groceries, admittedly. To say I'm "independent" would be silly considering how much I'm relying on her still.

This is pretty typical for young college students. My freshman year, I would sometimes add some money to my ID card to use at various college-run meal outlets, and the person I dealt with inevitably expressed surprise when I handed them cash. Apparently most kids just sent the bill home to their parents.

Bunny
08-30-2012, 04:52 PM
I moved in with my uncle for a few months during the summer after my mother passed away, while the rest of my family got situated in a house. This was around age 14. I'm not sure if that counts exactly as moving away from home, but I no longer lived with my closest family members so maybe.

At 17, my senior year in high school, I moved from California to Washington with a friend in order to attend a different school and get away from California, which I hated at the time. I moved back after graduating high school for about a year, when I joined the military at 18. Since joining the military, I have lived completely independent of my family and have not relied on them in any way.

Old Manus
08-30-2012, 05:11 PM
When I went to university it was fairly interesting to see how some people did/didn't adapt to being away from home for the first time. You'd get tough-looking rugby players who were under strict instructions to call their mums every Wednesday at 6 o'clock, and people who were totally fine until they were told by their parents that they weren't paying for groceries and Sky TV anymore, whereupon they would promptly freak out at the prospect of managing their own money.

A good friend of mine was one of those people who was always on the phone to his parents, and even though he'd say he was only calling because he was told to stay in touch (and I can totally respect that), I would have been pretty annoyed if my old lady was constantly asking for updates on my pretty mundane life. I think I might have spoken to my parents a handful of times a year during my time in halls, not because I didn't get on with them, but...there just wasn't much to say apart from 'Yeah I'm doing fine, classes and shit'.

Sephex
08-30-2012, 05:28 PM
My current stay at my apartment first became a house sitting deal for my grandma's cat she left behind when she passed away. Slowly but surely, the place became mine, financial responsibilities and all.

Shorty
08-30-2012, 05:31 PM
When I was eighteen, I packed up my little car up with all of my worldly possessions and drove 1400 miles across the country to move to a place I'd only been to once before. I didn't think it would be a huge shock because I'd been self-sufficient for years and I was really excited to make the move with no second thoughts. My mom had relocated my sisters and I about a year and a half earlier so I was already away from all of my friends and family from my hometown, but I became intensely homesick, and it lasted a few months.

You get used to it after a while! Living away from home was really nice for me because my mom and I butt heads a lot and moving was really the only way to give us peace. It sucked to be so far away, though, because I wish I could come home for Sunday dinner and hang out with my sisters and stuff. I usually go home to visit atleast once a year, though, and it's a goddamn sideshow because all of our family crazy builds up and has to be let out when we all congregate or something. I don't even know.

Congratulations on your newly founded independence! I hope it works out well for you.

Peegee
08-30-2012, 07:57 PM
I really don't like being by myself, so I don't move out unless I have secured roommates.

Consequently I go through periods where I come back home for years at a time while I figure things out.

Gives me a chance to save. I can move out or apply for a mortgage to buy a house at any moment. Bam.

Pike
08-31-2012, 01:38 AM
I'm broke and come from a broke family so I didn't move out until after college. I was 25 or something? That lasted for about two years before I squandered every last bit of my money on bills alone (apparently living by yourself on a $9/hr job when you're $40k in debt is not very feasible, and since my parents are as poor as I am I had zero help from them) and had to move back home. That's where I've been ever since; slowly paying off medical bills and the like. My goal is to be on my own again by next summer but it remains to be seen if that will happen or not.

I used to be embarrassed by this whole situation but these days I'm kind of over it. The economy sucks, my situation sucks, being lower class sucks; I've just gotta deal with it the best I can.

(I should also add that I've had chances to continue to be "independent" but with roommates instead of family and I always choose the latter. The idea of roommates makes me panic. I'd rather be a loser in my dad's basement, thanks.)

Zeldy
08-31-2012, 01:54 AM
I'm going into my third year of University and my third year of living on my own. I've never received any financial aid and never asked for anything either, I don't get a student loan for nothing, so I pay for things myself. I've handled all my rent/deposits/bills/food on my own and it's been entirely fine. My parents call up every now and then and give me some 'Mummy meals' and I am incredibly grateful for them (basically whatever my Mum cooks at home I get leftovers and freezes it to bring to me).

Going into second year my Mum told me the Mummy meals would stop unless I got a job, so they stopped for awhile, then I got a job and receive them every now and then. I would consider myself completely independent though because I'll literally get about 3 or 4 frozen meals at a time and that's it, but there's nothing quite like defrosting a home-made lasagne when you're hungover and have nothing but bread in the house.

I absolutely love living on my own, I'm also one of those students who never go home ever. We get like 3 or 4 weeks off for Christmas/Easter and I'll literally go home for about 3 days and then just complain to go back and spend weeks without even housemates. I don't even ring, either, the times I do remember to keep them 'updated' I always have my Dad tell me to "ring more, please". This Summer I've been back at home for a week and I'm returning tomorrow for a whole other year and a whole new house! Surprisingly, I only actually live about 20-30 minutes away from home, so I at least know they're always there. But the way I see it, you're only at University for 3 years so you may as well squeeze every single bit out of it.

~*~Celes~*~
08-31-2012, 04:05 AM
I've been "officially" living with my man and his dad for about a year now, moving out of my mom and dad's house was one of the best decisions I ever made. I do miss those crazy people every now and then, as well as my cats, so it's a good thing I live just two avenues away! But far enough that I don't have them down my throat all the time, and my mom doesn't call me every day like her parents used to do to her...I call her a lot though, mostly to say "Oh, Peter has the hiccups and it tickles!" or "Andrew laid his head on my belly and Peter kicked him in the face!" type stuff. She loves it, being her first grandbaby and all :D

anyway, moving out has also allowed me a lot of time to mature and I now know the burden of paying bills and working off of a budget. Andrew and i currently support his dad as he's had a stroke and has severely limited use of his dominant side, I can only imagine how fast our savings will dwindle once Peter is born (just a couple of months away now :o)

Steve
08-31-2012, 04:25 AM
I have moved out of home and back in to home twice now. First time I moved out was when I was like 18. We had an arrangement for cheaper rent if we did the renovations needed on the house. It seemed like a fair deal between like 7 of us sharing a 4 bedroom house. However my house mates were idiots and did nothing except throw parties. I was the only person to do a single bit of house work or renovation work. I was also cheated on by the girlfriend I was sharing a room with. I think that was the final straw for me I went back home to my mom's and dropped them all in the shit with the land-lady about the crap going on there such as drugs and so forth. They all got evicted and I didn't feel guilty one bit. I have never to this day spoken to any of them again.

A few years later I moved out with Ewa, my ex-girlfriend. We lived in East London for a time and hated it so we packed up together and moved closer to where I grew up. There we rented a flat together for 18 months. The final 4 months of the tenancy there I lived alone because Ewa had cheated on me and left me. I couldn't afford to keep an 940 a month flat going alone on my wages and it wasn't suitable to be shared with a friend. Therefore I moved back home to mom's to make some cash and build a new deposit up for a place that was more affordable.

I moved out some 6 - 8 months after going home, in the new year. That was to my current place of residence down in Wimbledon, I like it here. Perhaps I could get a slightly cheaper place but I've got a fair sized double room in a relatively good location in London for a relatively reasonable fee considering it is London. I've been here just under 19 months now. It's fun, will I ever go back home to Mom's unlikely, to be honest if I had to give up my room here for any reason I would probably wind up on a mates floor for a space of time as short as possible then get a new place. Who knows though, there is a possibility I could leave London at some point, in which case I have no idea what I will do.

Jiro
08-31-2012, 05:01 AM
Only been away from home for the duration of my exchange program. Wasn't hard to take care of myself but there's a big difference between living in a dorm and living on your own. All of my meals were taken care of, whereas on my own I'd have to cook myself!

Steve
08-31-2012, 07:11 AM
Only been away from home for the duration of my exchange program. Wasn't hard to take care of myself but there's a big difference between living in a dorm and living on your own. All of my meals were taken care of, whereas on my own I'd have to cook myself!

Which means in a cold place like America in Winter without a BBQ you'd have died in like 2 weeks. That or become fat having lived entirely on diet of takeout.

milliegoesbeep
08-31-2012, 08:23 AM
I've lived away from home for a year with my boyfriend but I had to come back home for my mum's medical conditions. I'm now commuting 2 hours so I can look after her and my younger sister. I was capable of living away again this year but unfortunately she fell ill again. I like to live on my own but there are several things for anyone who wishes to live away to think about. Being independent is a big challenge and sometimes a lot of stress at the start. Once you get into the swing of things, though, you'll be fine and dandy. Most of the time living away is circumstantial so don't feel disheartened if you have to go back or need to rely on your parents.

Shauna
08-31-2012, 09:38 PM
I moved out for my third and fourth years of university. Most unsound financial decision I have ever made - I could have just travelled for 45 minutes a day and saved a whole bunch of money - but I don't regret it one bit. Having my independence was pretty good. It's not like I had the strictest household with Dad - heck, he didn't care much what I did, as long as I was safe - but just having my own place was pretty awesome. Living in my flat was the best decision for me as a person I've made, and despite all my money just falling away from me over the past two years, I'd do it all again if I could.

Jiro
09-01-2012, 03:32 PM
Only been away from home for the duration of my exchange program. Wasn't hard to take care of myself but there's a big difference between living in a dorm and living on your own. All of my meals were taken care of, whereas on my own I'd have to cook myself!

Which means in a cold place like America in Winter without a BBQ you'd have died in like 2 weeks. That or become fat having lived entirely on diet of takeout.

I'd've just walked up to the Subway or snuck in on everyone's guest passes :monster: