PDA

View Full Version : Family Matters



Shorty
09-06-2012, 06:08 PM
Tomorrow I fly home to good old Coeur d'Alene, Idaho to spend three and a half days with the gang. It's fun, except when it's not, because my mom's favorite passtime is harassing her four daughters about absolute nonsense. Then I fight with the youngest and the middle two fight with eachother and my mom starts bitching how my dad is worthless and we tell her to shut up and WE ARE ALL CRAZY and can't have nice things.

How hilariously messed up is your family?

Jowy
09-06-2012, 06:50 PM
we make fun of uncle michael whenever we see him (usually just funerals) for being a fugitive on the run

that pretty much sums it up

coeur d'alene has been described by someone as "the best time you'll have in idaho". i can only assume that describes how staggeringly depressing the state is

Steve
09-06-2012, 06:57 PM
My family is messed up. Seriously


Starting with my sister:

My sister and brother hate each other. Like actual hatred... can't even talk to one another. Then again she caused marital problems for him. She recently claimed he was looking to steal my girlfriend because he's made an effort to get to know this girl I'm dating whereas before he's not bothered. I'm not kidding he's not my girlfriend's type, he's too short, too old and too bald for her likes and even discounting that he's my brother he isn't going to steal my girlfriend.

She has 4 children by 3 different men.

She cannot live with me because we will murder one another.

Moving on to my brother

My brother hates my sister for good reason, he gets along with me but he's 15 years my senior. He doesn't see mom very often in fact last time was about 4 years ago.

Moving on to my mom:

My Mom is starting to go a little senile. She's never managed to actually call me by my real name. Seriously when I was a kid it was always "Paul" or "Jason" (name of my eldest nephew) before she'd then correct herself and call me "Steven" people wonder why I hate anyone calling me Steven? She's the reason why usually because she calls me it when I'm in trouble or whenever she mistakenly calls me a different name. As an adult I'm often called "Tyler" the name of my youngest nephew. I could almost understand my eldest nephew and me since we're actually 7 years apart as adults we could look alike (we don't but it's possible we could), however my youngest nephew who is 10?

My mother has some weird issue with me dating people. She'll always try to find issues with my girlfriends despite having no issues with who my sister dates in general or any grounds for doing so.

Slothy
09-06-2012, 07:01 PM
Am I the only one who saw the thread title and was disappointed the topic wasn't Steve Urkel related?

My family isn't too bad. I mean, I've got an uncle prone to getting plastered, dancing on tables, and planting future nephew in laws with multiple kisses the first time he meets them, aunts who maintain an uneasy peace by bottling up their rage when they all gossip and talk about the stupid things they do, a grandmother who votes liberal every election despite being a bit of a racist homophobe who will go to her grave never knowing that my sister and I, and probably more than a few of our cousins are atheists and another is gay with one possibly still in the closet.

But that's all pretty normal right?

Christmas
09-06-2012, 07:10 PM
My dad got turned into a giant whale monster that terrorizes the world every now and then.

My mum plays the piano in a bar and will ditch my dad anytime for some old general from the army.

My sister is always armed with a funny looking sword which can turn into a gun because she cannot decide what she wants.

And I ate my little brother....opps. :quina:

Shorty
09-06-2012, 07:13 PM
coeur d'alene has been described by someone as "the best time you'll have in idaho". i can only assume that describes how staggeringly depressing the state is

The description is true and your assumption is correct.

NeoCracker
09-06-2012, 07:14 PM
coeur d'alene has been described by someone as "the best time you'll have in idaho". i can only assume that describes how staggeringly depressing the state is

As an Idaho Resident, I can confirm that theory to be true. :cry:

Sephex
09-06-2012, 08:27 PM
My family has had its fair share of problems, but I don't think there is anything between any of us that caused any major discord. That's only my immediate family. Going outside of that is a whole different ballpark. I won't be a jerk and describe it here. Plus, it really isn't worth talking about.

Citizen Bleys
09-06-2012, 08:35 PM
Every single member of my family is awesome. I pity you poor souls.

Jinx
09-06-2012, 09:10 PM
My family "jokes" (meaning merciless insults and makes fun of one another) to show their "love." When you tell them you don't like it, they scream at you and call you a pussy.

Yeah, I don't talk to them much.

Shiny
09-06-2012, 11:40 PM
My mother is a shopaholic and my father is an enabler. That's as far as it really goes anymore.

Bunny
09-06-2012, 11:49 PM
I was near Coeur d'Alene once. Went camping around there during my senior year, was kinda fun. Sunk a jetski.

My family isn't really all that strange anymore. My brothers and I used to fight all the time when we were younger, but now we all pretty much get along. I don't have any super crazy family members, it's kind of boring.

My girlfriend's family though. Whoa boy.

Clo
09-06-2012, 11:52 PM
My mom is a wino and my dad is a Trekkie. My little brother is married to his childhood sweetheart and is in the Marines. They make fart jokes and eat at McDonalds every Friday morning. I love them!

I hate most of my boyfriends family, except his sister. She thinks the government has a file on her. I love her, sincerely. :)

Tigmafuzz
09-06-2012, 11:54 PM
Define "family"

Raistlin
09-07-2012, 01:43 AM
Am I the only one who saw the thread title and was disappointed the topic wasn't Steve Urkel related?

I am also disappointed in the lack of Urkel.

And my family is fairly normal, at least relatively speaking. My grandfather is a Birther, though he's as crazy as it gets.

Jinx
09-07-2012, 03:02 AM
Am I the only one who saw the thread title and was disappointed the topic wasn't Steve Urkel related?

I am also disappointed in the lack of Urkel.

And my family is fairly normal, at least relatively speaking. My grandfather is a Birther, though he's as crazy as it gets.

It's a rare condition, in this day and age
To read any good news on the newspaper page

fire_of_avalon
09-07-2012, 03:25 AM
I'm pretty sure they don't care about me as much as I care about them, but that's okay.

Slothy
09-07-2012, 04:14 AM
I'm pretty sure they don't care about me as much as I care about them, but that's okay.

I'm pretty sure my family cares about me more than I care about them. I'm not sure which is worse, though I do believe this makes me a much more terrible person than you.

Jiro
09-07-2012, 04:37 AM
My parents separated in March. Well. My father kicked my mother out on the street in March. His 18 month or so affair with a 20 year old reached a point where he thought it best to do away his actual family. No real loss for me, most people I knew in meatspace were surprised to learn I even had a father.

My brother is a heavy smoker (marijuana) with severe anger management issues and possibly other mental disorders. He recently sold a television and motorbike that didn't belong to him because $250 a week was not enough money for him to live on apparently. He was on worker's compensation following an injury so that money was completely free with no effort required, plus he was not paying rent, for food, or for fuel. There are only so many ways you can burn that much money in that period of time. He has threatened to cut the brakes in my car and plant drugs to get me arrested several times. He has also threatened to kill me and attempted to attack my father with an axe.

My mother is somewhat of an emotional wreck now and being on suicide watch is a little bit draining. I'm fairly certain that she would not go to such lengths but considering the things she says and the random moments of hysteria, I would rather be safe than sorry. She suffers from numerous stress induced issues including heart irregularities which have had her admitted to hospital several times.

I think that covers it.

Freya
09-07-2012, 04:39 AM
My sister just named her second child Bear Claude

Christmas
09-07-2012, 04:40 AM
My parents separated in March. Well. My father kicked my mother out on the street in March. His 18 month or so affair with a 20 year old reached a point where he thought it best to do away his actual family. No real loss for me, most people I knew in meatspace were surprised to learn I even had a father.

My brother is a heavy smoker (marijuana) with severe anger management issues and possibly other mental disorders. He recently sold a television and motorbike that didn't belong to him because $250 a week was not enough money for him to live on apparently. He was on worker's compensation following an injury so that money was completely free with no effort required, plus he was not paying rent, for food, or for fuel. There are only so many ways you can burn that much money in that period of time. He has threatened to cut the brakes in my car and plant drugs to get me arrested several times. He has also threatened to kill me and attempted to attack my father with an axe.

My mother is somewhat of an emotional wreck now and being on suicide watch is a little bit draining. I'm fairly certain that she would not go to such lengths but considering the things she says and the random moments of hysteria, I would rather be safe than sorry. She suffers from numerous stress induced issues including heart irregularities which have had her admitted to hospital several times.

I think that covers it.



I am so sorry to hear that. You must take care of yourself well for your mum and your future. :(

All the best.

Slothy
09-07-2012, 04:50 AM
My parents separated in March. Well. My father kicked my mother out on the street in March. His 18 month or so affair with a 20 year old reached a point where he thought it best to do away his actual family. No real loss for me, most people I knew in meatspace were surprised to learn I even had a father.

My brother is a heavy smoker (marijuana) with severe anger management issues and possibly other mental disorders. He recently sold a television and motorbike that didn't belong to him because $250 a week was not enough money for him to live on apparently. He was on worker's compensation following an injury so that money was completely free with no effort required, plus he was not paying rent, for food, or for fuel. There are only so many ways you can burn that much money in that period of time. He has threatened to cut the brakes in my car and plant drugs to get me arrested several times. He has also threatened to kill me and attempted to attack my father with an axe.

My mother is somewhat of an emotional wreck now and being on suicide watch is a little bit draining. I'm fairly certain that she would not go to such lengths but considering the things she says and the random moments of hysteria, I would rather be safe than sorry. She suffers from numerous stress induced issues including heart irregularities which have had her admitted to hospital several times.

I think that covers it.

Jesus fuck! I am so sorry Jiro.

Freya
09-07-2012, 04:52 AM
And you guys wonder why he went "crazy!" poor dak WE STILL LOVE YOU.

Raistlin
09-07-2012, 05:51 AM
I'm pretty sure my family cares about me more than I care about them.

Ditto. Only possible exception being my sister.

EDIT: Holy shit, Jiro. I hope you're doing ok.

Shlup
09-07-2012, 05:58 AM
My mother's side of the family is very pleasant. My mom's great, her parents are great, and the extended family is fun to be around.

My father is a crazed conservative, and my seventeen-year-old sister is the bad kind of insane, but that side of the family is otherwise mostly okay. Nana and Pa are senile and grow weed; I loves them.

My mother-in-law is neurotic and probably a fundie, but I don't have to hear about it much and she's otherwise great, and the rest of my in-laws are really nice.

I'm pretty lucky. The only member of my family I don't care for is my sister, who ran away and is now many miles from me.

Araciel
09-07-2012, 06:39 PM
I broke the test tube before I was implanted into my incubation host.

I send the test tube christmas cards but...fences will never be mended.

Pike
09-08-2012, 02:34 AM
Firstly, all you Idaho people need to hop one state over to get to Montana, the cool state. :cool:

Secondly, Jiro, I'm so sorry to hear all of that :(

Ummm my family. My dad is basically hiding from the IRS because he owes them hundreds of thousands. Fortunately they can't do much about it except silently hate him. My mom is... sweet but kinda has some serious emotional/mental issues. My parents are separated.

My brother is 26 and a NEET, dropped out of college the first semester and has ever since then lived with my dad doing the (very) occasional odd job while he plays games all day.

My sister is 21, has no drivers' license, no car, has never had a job and never been to college, and she's getting married to a guy who works part-time at McDonalds in like two months. (Everyone is telling her it's a bad idea except for the bishop of her church so guess who she's listening to? :roll2 )

I have three other sisters aged 18, 16 and 12. They were all homeschooled their entire life and as far as I'm aware have no plans for anything after "high school". They basically just play video games all day.

I'm the oldest and really the only one with a car, a job, and a college education. Which I'm using to work overnights at a big box store.

So basically we are a family of UTTER FAILURES! :hyper:

NorthernChaosGod
09-08-2012, 04:03 AM
Dak! Come live in California with me! I'll protect you. <3

My family is "normal" my parents fight about crap from time to time, my sister is an annoying little girl, and my brother smokes a lot of pot.