ReloadPsi plays Awful Fantasy 3 - Mildly offensive ROM hack ahoy!

[ReloadPsi]

This is probably my favourite ROM hack of all time. It's a little bit packed with injokes from a forum I've never been to and has a lot of just plain random crap that doesn't necessarily add much to it, but the near-complete removal of the original cast and plot I quite like for some reason, as well as it being something I played during a slightly crappier period of my life and it got me through it. I could babble on about what I like so much about it, but I'm just gonna go ahead and post screenshots and talk about it.

Onward!

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v681/diehure/AF-0001.jpg

The game starts out by telling us that the game is awful. Promising start. It then goes on an ambiguously misanthropic rant.

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v681/diehure/AF-0002.jpg

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v681/diehure/AF-0003.jpg

You no doubt noticed that guy in the corner. That Gau edit replaces Kefka.

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v681/diehure/AF-0004.jpg

And the obligatory slogan drop to remind us that this is indeed from Something Awful. Enter main characters.

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v681/diehure/AF-0005.jpg

So we have two pirates with rather odd names and Terra's been replaced by a palette swap of Locke with pink hair. What an original character; wonder if he can steal?

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v681/diehure/AF-0006.jpg

Anyway it's time to attack Canada with our Magitek armour. No backing down now! Let's take the usual right turn at the beginning for a bit of bonus experience!

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v681/diehure/AF-0007.jpg

Hrmmm...

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v681/diehure/AF-0008.jpg

Well that doesn't look good.

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v681/diehure/AF-0009.jpg

Or that. (By the way, Doom House is an awesome movie and you should check it out.)

So Fragmaster nukes my party...

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v681/diehure/AF-0010.jpg

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v681/diehure/AF-0011.jpg

...and we're dead already. To be fair the game does actually come with a readme file telling you not to go right at the start.

Back on task now, we can see that these pirates have taken the whole pirate vs. ninja battle to FOOR NEW REBER.

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v681/diehure/AF-0012.jpg

Oh, and that's the full list of Magitek skills. My personal favourite name there is ByeWhore, followed closely by Lazerboobs.

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v681/diehure/AF-0013.jpg

We waste the ninjas good and get what I think is an awesome level up message :3 Also notice how the pink-haired man appears to be holding something in his victory pose? Those are his trousers. Be thankful the Magitek armour is obscuring what's under them.

Another pair of ninjas seems to be posing a credible threat...

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v681/diehure/AF-0014.jpg

...and they send their dogs of hellish fury after us.

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v681/diehure/AF-0015.jpg
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v681/diehure/AF-0016.jpg

Who spontaneously die before I can input a command.

Who's this?

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v681/diehure/AF-0017.jpg

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v681/diehure/AF-0018.jpg

It's Taco the Wonder Dog! Apparently! I honestly have no earthly clue who that is!

But before we move on, a seminar on... save poo.

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v681/diehure/AF-0019.jpg

Oh, and while we're doing interfacey stuff, let's find out what this ARRANGE command does...

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v681/diehure/AF-0020.jpg

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v681/diehure/AF-0021.jpg

BASTARD! Yes, the arrange command deletes certain items from the inventory. I don't think this is a prank, more a side-effect of such extensive ROM-hacking.

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v681/diehure/AF-0022.jpg

Here we see proof that the pirates are indeed pirates. Also I have no idea what pink-haired Locke's portrait is meant to be.

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v681/diehure/AF-0023.jpg

He does start equipped with a Segway though. That's going to be very useful for sure.

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v681/diehure/AF-0024.jpg

Here's what happened to the pendant. Woo.

But now it's time for our first boss encounter! Enter Livestock, Whelk/Ymir's replacement.

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v681/diehure/AF-0025.jpg

The dialogue itself is a bit lame I guess but the actual graphics replacing the boss really tickled me the first time I played this game :3 Anyway, we follow imsuxok?'s advice and leave the shell (well, desk) alone and Livestock goes down as easily as its counterpart.

Time to reap the rewards.

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v681/diehure/AF-0026.jpg

...cosplayer?

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v681/diehure/AF-0027.jpg

What has become of imsuxok? and Gilgame? Who the hell is this pink-haired man? Why is a cosplayer nuking people? Find out next time on Awful Fantasy 3!

[Madonna]

This is absolutely horrible. I will follow your progress.

[Jiro]

I feel as though it would make more sense if it was hacked to include EoFF in-jokes but the edited sprites are quite enjoyable.

[Edge7]

...Hell I can dig it.

[Raistlin]

I have absolutely no idea what to think of this. It is pretty terrible, but I couldn't look away.

[Gamblet]

I have absolutely no idea what to think of this. It is pretty terrible, but I couldn't look away.

[ReloadPsi]

I have absolutely no idea what to think of this. It is pretty terrible, but I couldn't look away.

Those were roughly my sentiments playing it, the difference being that the more terrible something is, the more I can't look away and am instead wildly amused by how horrible it is. I'll do a bit more soon.

[Citizen Bleys]

I'm not seeing any 'mildly offensive' yet. This is why I'm following this thread. Let's see something terrible!

[Jiro]

Yeah I want to be offended too.

[ReloadPsi]

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v681/diehure/AF-0028.jpg
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v681/diehure/AF-0029.jpg

?????BBQ awakens in Airdisc's house rather predictably and proceeds to attempt to recall the previous events.

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v681/diehure/AF-0030.jpg
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v681/diehure/AF-0031.jpg
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v681/diehure/AF-0032.jpg

Yeah, not renaming the characters is generally recommended as the bits that don't fit in the 6 character limit are always tacked on in dialogue. I've never renamed them so I have no idea if this can get annoying or not ^^

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v681/diehure/AF-0033.jpg

So the Canadian ninjas come knocking on the door demanding a cookie.

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v681/diehure/AF-0034.jpg

OMGWTFBBQ asks for one as well.

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v681/diehure/AF-0035.jpg

And so he's sent off running out the usual escape route.

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v681/diehure/AF-0036.jpg

Yeah.

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v681/diehure/AF-0037.jpg

Here's an enemy I do not like, so I shall burp upon it.

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v681/diehure/AF-0038.jpg

Toasty! (I am just now getting why Scorpion was where the frozen Esper used to be.)

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v681/diehure/AF-0039.jpg

But the Canadian ninjas catch up in something I foolishly neglected to screencap. Look, just imagine the scene but with the mummies replaced by Shadow with off colours. There you go.

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v681/diehure/AF-0040.jpg

More of OMGWTFBBQ's memories are coming back.

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v681/diehure/AF-0041.jpg

Well, he probably hopes they ain't memories, more a really bizarre nightmare.

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v681/diehure/AF-0042.jpg

Ick. Wait, I'm a bit confused by Todd's interpretation of giving/receiving a teabagging here...

Anyway, time for OMGWTFBBQ to waste some redshirts.

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v681/diehure/AF-0043.jpg
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v681/diehure/AF-0044.jpg

I don't know if Todd is supposed to be incredibly camp gay. Maybe it's just me clinging too hard to stereotypes. Or maybe being bi warps my perception of it. I dunno.

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v681/diehure/AF-0045.jpg

We establish that Gestahl is replaced with a dude named Al. Also shown, the guys replacing Leo and Celes. More on that later.

Back to reality...

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v681/diehure/AF-0046.jpg

...where we meet our next hero.

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v681/diehure/AF-0047.jpg
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v681/diehure/AF-0048.jpg
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v681/diehure/AF-0049.jpg

Pipebomb, apparently not very popular on the SA forums at the time of making this, though this could be greatly exaggerated.

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v681/diehure/AF-0050.jpg

So Pipebomb berates Airdisc for sending OMGWTFBBQ off running into the mines alone, and decides to go after him. Airdisc then makes derisive comments about his mother that I also neglected to screencap like a fool. Here's how it ends.

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v681/diehure/AF-0051.jpg

Right.

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v681/diehure/AF-0052.jpg

Unfortunately Cornbeef has caught up from the other side and Pipebomb is hopelessly outnumbered by Taco dog thingies.

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v681/diehure/AF-0053.jpg

But what's the voice?

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v681/diehure/AF-0054.jpg
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v681/diehure/AF-0055.jpg
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v681/diehure/AF-0056.jpg
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v681/diehure/AF-0057.jpg
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v681/diehure/AF-0058.jpg
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v681/diehure/AF-0059.jpg

It's GameQuoter, former admin of Zany Video Game Quotes and arbitrary selection of video game sprites. He speaks entirely in lines from said website.

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v681/diehure/AF-0060.jpg
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v681/diehure/AF-0061.jpg
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v681/diehure/AF-0062.jpg

Unlike Mog, GameQuoter doesn't use the Dance command, but instead comes with Mimic, although it's GameQuoter you have to use on every terrain in order to obtain the Dances for any character that CAN use them. The other Servebots accompanying him have random commands as is often typical of an FF6 ROM hack.

By the way...

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v681/diehure/AF-0063.jpg

...Pipebomb...

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v681/diehure/AF-0064.jpg

...freakin'...

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v681/diehure/AF-0065.jpg

...SUCKS. Okay, personally I think cutting his attack command and only letting him throw stuff is pretty hilarious. We're supposed to think he's a wimpy lamer after all.

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v681/diehure/AF-0066.jpg

Thankfully the enemies do have Pocket knives to steal so you can throw those. This guy's gonna be so broken once I buy some Shurikens.

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v681/diehure/AF-0067.jpg

Oh yeah, Rawr the Servebot is equipped with a healing staff. Proper caught me off guard, that.

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v681/diehure/AF-0068.jpg

Anyway with the help of Slot and Mimic, GameQuoter and the Servebots kick Cornbeef's ass good and we're free to go.

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v681/diehure/AF-0069.jpg

Hooray!

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v681/diehure/AF-0070.jpg

That line amuses me and I occasionally steal it when I'm around hipsters.

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v681/diehure/AF-0071.jpg

Interestingly the same applies to that one.

We've got to flee from Canada for now but let's see what happens if we try to enter again...

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v681/diehure/AF-0072.jpg
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v681/diehure/AF-0073.jpg

Guess not.

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v681/diehure/AF-0074.jpg

Oh by the way, the Evade bug is fixed in this version. Actually I think almost all the bugs are. But is the game bug free? We'll find out some other time...

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v681/diehure/AF-0075.jpg

What awaits me in the newbie classroom? Will we learn anything useful, or will we just hear a lot of weird asinine garbage that they couldn't fit elsewhere in the game?

I've got a train to catch so that's it for today folks!

[Citizen Bleys]

By the way...

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v681/diehure/AF-0063.jpg

...Pipebomb...

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v681/diehure/AF-0064.jpg

...freakin'...

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v681/diehure/AF-0065.jpg

...SUCKS.

I don't know why, but this made me laugh so hard I almost got busted for using the internet at work.

[Jiro]

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v681/diehure/AF-0070.jpg

Props for fixing the unfiltered word but super props for an enjoyable update!

[theundeadhero]

I hope you haven't given up on this.

[Quindiana Jones]

I'm thoroughly enjoying this ROM hack trend. Give me more. :D

[Christmas]

Keep it going!!! It's really hilarious!!! WTF with those weird artworks anyway? :bigsmile:

[ReloadPsi]

There'll be more soon; already got the next batch of screenies captured, just gotta compress and upload them. Just... not yet. This will keep going, don't worry.

[Jiro]

Glad to hear it! It's not as polished a hack as the FFV one but it's still good fun for sure.

[ReloadPsi]

Right, I've managed to eke out a bit of an update. I'll do some more through the week though.

First off, I fooled you in the last one: I didn't really look around the Newbie Classroom. Ha-ha!

No, instead we headed for Figaro Castle as per the story.

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v681/diehure/AF-0076_zpse40c5ee4.jpg

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v681/diehure/AF-0078_zps77b1aa70.jpg

Hey.

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v681/diehure/AF-0077_zpsd816e79d.jpg

I forgot to come back and talk to the guys in the cells, but they're robots and I think they mostly talk about pushing people down some stairs.

Here are some more interestingly renamed items.

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v681/diehure/AF-0079_zps04ab6b80.jpg

I think the poison status was meant to be renamed AIDS but apparently they didn't do that. All the other poison-related items and terms in-game suggest it was the case. The :10bux: is a reference to one of their forum emoticons... I think. It costs $10 to sign up to the SA forums as it keeps undesirable members out and pays their bandwidth costs, and bannable offences tend to result in people posting this. Also I think SA aren't keen on ravers.

In any case, time to meet the king.

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v681/diehure/AF-0080_zps97e99a80.jpg

I believe El Pinto Grande is meant to be a Mexican lucha-libre wrestler - more on that later - of whom Pipebomb is not fond.

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v681/diehure/AF-0081_zps00875c0d.jpg

I'm not entirely sure what this "triangle of deceit" refers to. Time for some random NPC dialogues.

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v681/diehure/AF-0082_zpsc99af6aa.jpg

Sam Jain? Remember that for later.

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v681/diehure/AF-0083_zpsefc14c6e.jpg

You might remember that Al is the character who replaced Gestahl in OMGWTFBBQ's flashback. Also keep in mind this was released in the early 2000s when the X-Box was perceived to be a more discredited console than it is now.

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v681/diehure/AF-0084_zps5267c34b.jpg

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v681/diehure/AF-0085_zpsd038f3c8.jpg

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v681/diehure/AF-0086_zps8ee5bf7d.jpg

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v681/diehure/AF-0087_zps58f2b468.jpg

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v681/diehure/AF-0088_zps078e30b7.jpg
(I believe Lowtax is the founder of SA.)

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v681/diehure/AF-0089_zpsd27839c8.jpg

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v681/diehure/AF-0090_zps0e511001.jpg

Now, on with the story.

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v681/diehure/AF-0091_zpsc5a297a8.jpg

By the way, when you have the moogles (or Servebots in this case) in your party at the start of the game their names take up the spaces normally reserved for the upcoming party members, as seen here where the ROM hacker has forgotten to take that into account, resulting in this misanthropic lady being incorrectly known as "Ms Bagpus" :P

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v681/diehure/AF-0092_zps84c159bd.jpg

But who is she?

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v681/diehure/AF-0093_zps542a3823.jpg

Ms Ozma is one of my favourite characters in this game. She doesn't say much, but when she does it's usually quite unpleasant. Also I find it odd that completely recolouring Terra is enough to make her come across as a new character. Must be the general lack of clothing.

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v681/diehure/AF-0094_zps52b77346.jpg

I'm not sure what this is a reference to.

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v681/diehure/AF-0095_zpsf231aaff.jpg

But I suspect this is a Shadowhearts reference. Awesome.

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v681/diehure/AF-0096_zps1d31b97e.jpg

Uh... **sweatdrop**

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v681/diehure/AF-0097_zps6a47f3ba.jpg

Who could they be talking about? Find out real soon, I promise :3

[Jiro]

That Terra sprite actually looks really nice. Figures that Edgar would end up being some kind of nutter.

[Beowulf]

This. This is amazing. Holy shit.

[The Man]

I remember this hack being rather amusing. It'll be fun to go through it again.