ITT we share the worst puns we can think of

[Pike]

You know, stuff that is so bad it will get you banned or at least drunk tanked.

A grenade fell onto a kitchen floor in France. The result? Linoleum Blownapart.

[Madame Adequate]

:stare: Get out.

[~*~Celes~*~]

oh peeg xD I lol'd

[Denmark]

you'd better be careful, they'll stick your head on a Pike

[Jinx]

They other day I told Psychotic he was living up to his name.

Because he was being a-Paul-ing.

[Quindiana Jones]

Could we please stick to good puns or wonderfully bad puns, rather than eye-wateringly shitty puns. xD

[Agent Proto]

If you had listened to the FFVIII radio play I was involved in, you could hear a pretty bad pun.

"They put the BAAAAD in Galbaaaaadia."

[Denmark]

Could we please stick to good puns or wonderfully bad puns, rather than eye-wateringly shitty puns. xD

eye-wateringly shitty puns are the Quin-tessential example of good puns

[Clo]

I had a bowl of sarcasm this morning.

It tasted IRON-Y

[TrollHunter]

http://s3-ec.buzzfed.com/static/enhanced/web05/2012/6/6/14/anigif_enhanced-buzz-1902-1339008485-18.gif

[Aulayna]

http://i.qkme.me/3r8zaz.jpg

[Laddy]

The punsibilities are expunential!

The amount of humor in that was pun-y. I think I need to be punted.

[Agent Proto]

http://s3-ec.buzzfed.com/static/enhanced/terminal05/2012/6/6/14/enhanced-buzz-7007-1339008634-18.jpg

[Lonely Paper Star]

What does a nosy pepper do?



Get jalapeno business.

[NeoCracker]

I submitted 10 puns to a pun contest.

Someone asked me if any one.

I told them no pun in ten did.

[Chris]

Here at EoFF, puns like that will get you PUNished!

[Rantz]

What the Bleyses...? I opn184 this thread with low expectations, but I even ~*~Celes~*~ cringeworthy puns here than I would have thought.

I Pitye you all. This thread should be Clo-sed. :mad2:

[Tigmafuzz]

Bad puns are important for a healthy lifestyle.

http://i.imgur.com/a58ND.jpg

http://i.imgur.com/PVO69.jpg

http://i.imgur.com/9Q1y1.jpg

http://i.imgur.com/lYg3w.jpg

http://i.imgur.com/XlWqO.jpg

http://i.imgur.com/HLyVq.jpg


http://i.imgur.com/F4hxj.jpg

http://i.imgur.com/Xtoel.jpg

http://i.imgur.com/d9B13.jpg

http://i.imgur.com/TQNXd.jpg

http://i.imgur.com/CjWre.png

http://i.imgur.com/aFTS5.png

http://i.imgur.com/7iWzj.png

http://i.imgur.com/Eh158.png

http://i.imgur.com/oEx1t.png

http://i.imgur.com/PTf5p.jpg

"It's not that the man didn't know how to do juggle, he just didn't have the balls to do it."

I also have a large collection of pictures of math puns with that cat in the glasses. Stuff like "Do I know any jokes about sodium? Na."

[Jinx]

Okay, I thought I was going to like this thread, but I don't.

Most people are just copy/pasting shit they find on the internet instead of being creative and coming up with something themselves.

[Tigmafuzz]

Okay, I thought I was going to like this thread, but I don't.

Most people are just copy/pasting trout they find on the internet instead of being creative and coming up with something themselves.

I just wanted to share :(

[Flying Mullet]

These puns are so bad they aren't even full puns, they're P-U!

[Pike]

Nothing wrong with getting bad puns off of the internet. They qualify for this thread so long as they're bad puns.

don't PUNish me

[Flying Mullet]

What's a pirate's favorite restaurant? Arrrrrrby's!
What did the pirate's say when he tried to steal the honey? Arrrr bees!

[Sephex]

Everyone in this thread should be punished.

..

[Shoeberto]

What kind of bees live in haunted houses? Boo-bees!

[Shorty]

Where is MILF with his ocean puns? :colbert:

[Jinx]

Where is MILF with his ocean puns? :colbert:

He got tide-ered of them, and decided to put them back on the shelf.

[Chris]

Ocean rocks, space sucks. Not a pun, but a fact.

[TrollHunter]

Okay, I thought I was going to like this thread, but I don't.

Most people are just copy/pasting trout they find on the internet instead of being creative and coming up with something themselves.
I'm not creative enough to think up my own pun. Sue me. I couldn't even think of a pun to make this reply witty and interesting. D:

[Futan]

Not a fan of him, but if you listen to Lil Wayne, he's got some fantastically awful puns.




.44 bulldog, my mothersmurfing pet, I point it at you and tell that mothersmurfer, fetch
The guns are drawn and I ain't talking about a sketch

I pay these n***** with a reality check

This game is a bitch, I got my hand up her dress

I got that Esther, bitch, I'm Redd Foxx

I get money to kill time, dead clocks
That banana clip, let Chiquita speak
Red on the wall, Basquiat when I paint
Pull up in the sleigh, hop out like I'm Santa Claus, n***** gather around, got gifts for each and all of y'all



That was one song. Lol.

[Jiro]

Here.
(http://octopuns.blogspot.com.au/)

[Heath]

How does Moses make his tea? Hebrews it.

[Raistlin]

Two guys walk into a bar. The first one asked for H2O. The second said "I'd like some H2O too."

The second man died.

[Agent Proto]

A string enters a bar and asks the bartender for a drink. The bartender refuses and says they don't serve to strings. The string is saddened by this news and leaves the bar. A few moments later, the string ties himself up and reenters the bar.

"Hey, are you that string that was here awhile ago?" The bartender asks.

"Nope." the string replies. "I'm a frayed knot."

[Quindiana Jones]

Since this thread now accommodates jokes...

A white horse walks into a bar and asks the barman for a glass of whiskey.

"Hah!" says the barman. "I've got one with your name on it!"

The horse looks at the man and says "What? Ed?"

[WildRaubtier]

Pierre, the french WW2 ace fighter pilot, meets a girl at a bar, and takes her back to his place. She tell him she likes oral! So she lays down and closes her eyes, at which point Pierre douses her lady bits in kerosene and lights her up, screaming "PIERRE WILL ONLY GO DOWN IN FLAMES."

[Heath]

Why did King Arthur and his knights use a round table? Because of Sir-cumference.

[Unbreakable Will]

No.
These aren't very punny.

[Cloudane]

Still Sazh-ing up this thread. Some of the punnage seems a bit Vanille-a.

[TrollHunter]

Let's get this back on track.
Two peanuts walked into a bar.....
one was asalted

[Raistlin]

This thread is full of Quin.

No, really, Quin posts too much. That Mr. Ed joke was terrible and he should be ashamed.

[Cloudane]

Just need a few more of a particular Viera in here and the thread will be Frantastic. We will be Vaan-ing all over her.

[Laddy]

I can row a boat, canoe?

Well, what side you row on?

Either oar.

My dad taught me that. He is the undispunted lord of puns.

[Shiny]

http://s3-ec.buzzfed.com/static/enhanced/terminal05/2012/6/6/14/enhanced-buzz-7007-1339008634-18.jpg

I am so going to print that out and put that on the printer at work.

[Jinx]

http://s3-ec.buzzfed.com/static/enhanced/terminal05/2012/6/6/14/enhanced-buzz-7007-1339008634-18.jpg

I am so going to print that out and put that on the printer at work.

I first saw this on a printer at the hospital. :)

Also: Bob Marley = Black James Franco with dreads?

[Quindiana Jones]

I couldn't stop thinking the exact same thing, Sam.

[Madame Adequate]

Actually I think you'll fine James Franco = white Bob Marley without dreads :colbert:

[Cloudane]

Well, winter is coming. Can't wait for spring, it'll be such a re-leaf.

[Quindiana Jones]

Hah! I like that pun. It's true, as well as awful.

[Cloudane]

Woo! Though that particular pun, like a traditional German Christmas cake, is stollen.

[Aulayna]

http://www.buzzlol.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/07/Science-cat-Chemistry-Jokes.jpg

[Cloudane]

Last week I had to help deliver white goods to someone's house, across a flooded area.

Like a fridge over troubled water...

[CimminyCricket]

I don't have any puns, but some of these are hilarious.

[Værn]

I don't have any puns, but this video (www.youtube.com/watch?v=6l1GvDWtccI) is swimming in them.

[Loony BoB]

What does The Sixth Sense have in common with Titanic?

I'm not even going to give you the answer. You'll figure it out. I hope. Also, you don't want me to crack out genuinely original self-created puns. You don't want me to revive... that pun.

[Cloudane]

Icy dead people...

Aw, now I'm curious.



Speaking of made up. I was thinking of branching out into tree puns, maybe even leafing behind the roots of this thread. But unless I'm barking up the wrong tree, I've run out of them. Maybe some tree photos would be good for inspiration, but I'm on work's computer and there are no photos in the system.

[Pumpkin]

Your father is Russian, your mother is Russian, your sister is Russian, but you're in no hurry.

[Cloudane]

I was asked if I'd like to meet Juan's twin brother, but didn't see much point to it. Once you've seen Juan you've seen Jamal.

[Rantz]

I was asked if I'd like to meet Juan's twin brother, but didn't see much point to it. Once you've seen Juan you've seen Jamal.

Similarly, once you've seen a shopping center...

[Aulayna]

http://f.kulfoto.com/pic/0001/0032/4n98Z31768.jpg