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View Full Version : Wasp Award Recipient 2012



Unbreakable Will
10-27-2012, 04:31 AM
Whilst watching The Walking Dead, a random wasp barreled into our den tonight. As you know, wasps are put on this earth for the sole reason of smurfing trout UP. This wasp decided it wanted to duke it out with our fan; the fan got a good number of hits in and smacked the wasp around the room at least four or five times, the wasp decided to retaliate by getting out of it's wheelhouse range and landing on the top siding then proceeded to STING THE GODDAMN METAL SIDING for a good five minutes.
Feeling sorry for the fan I decided to switch it off and grab the industrial sized flyswatter from the kitchen, I smacked the hell out of that thing while it was in mid-air, it hit the wall, fell on a chair where I smacked it once more.
IT GOT THE smurf UP AND TRIED TO STING ME! So I smushed it into the floor where it finally breathed its last.

A moment of silence for this skilled, relentless warrior. :eep:

Tell your wasp stories.

Araciel
10-27-2012, 06:22 AM
I've smacked every wasp I've met ever.

They all died or flew away or fell on the ground then died.

Shorty
10-27-2012, 07:30 AM
Hairspray! ZING

Nobody wins against hairspray.

Jiro
10-27-2012, 09:02 AM
Don't have an issue with wasps. They stay out of my way, I stay out of theirs. Easy.

Steve
10-27-2012, 10:34 AM
crush injuries are probably the worst way to kill a wasp to end a problem, their stings like bees emit a pheromone what attracts other bees and wasps to a threat making them more aggressive. This is why Shorty is the only person in this room who answered partially correct.

Using crush injuries to deal with wasps is like picking a fight with Russia in ww2. It didn't work for Hitler and it doesn't work well for you either.

Jiro
10-27-2012, 12:56 PM
This is why Shiny is the only person in this room who answered partially correct.

:aimkiss:

Faris
10-27-2012, 05:44 PM
This one time at band camp, we cooked our meals in a large gazeebo thing. At first we were unaware of wasp nests but then decided to smoke them out and eat meals before they caught scent of it. One day during a pre-hike-or-something meeting a wasp decided that it wanted to take revenge on the child with the biggest thighs. I got stung and smacked that smurfer then proceeded to scream like the little girl I was.

Around home I see ones with fairly long bodies and stingers. Those are scary looking mothersmurfers and they like to dance around my window during the summer.

drotato
10-27-2012, 06:42 PM
That wasp was.... Crazy. He was so pissed off. I think maybe his girlfriend might have broken up with him, so he wanted to take it out on something and smurf shit up. :(

~*~Celes~*~
10-27-2012, 10:22 PM
I hate wasps with a passion, but over the summer, I had an amusing encounter with one.

We had a wasp that had been hanging out by our back door where Andrew has this motion activated prop from a former movie theater display set up so we can tell when people walk up to the door. We hadn't heard it go off all summer until this mothersmurfer showed up. Andrew looked out the window and THERE HE WAS AND HE WAS HUGE.

A week or so later after we'd forgotten about it, someone had left the back door open and the wasp made its way in. I was the only one to see it, as Andrew and his dad were preoccupied. I watched as it flew into the house, through the dining room into the living room where we were, then just made its way out the front door onto the enclosed porch. It amused me almost as much as it scared the living jeebus out of me, as it really was HUGE. I clung to Andrew for dear life, watching it. Andrew had no idea of course so he thought i was suddenly being very affectionate and kissed me and hugged me and i just sat there whimpering like WTF DUDE.

Finally Andrew took his headphones off and I told him so he got up and did the smart thing: opened the door to the porch farther so he could look at it. :eep: When he saw how scary it was, he finally closed the door. His younger sister happened to show up at this point with her two little ones and SHE was the one to kill the wasp with the wasp spray because Andrew is a little girl just like i am.

Hollycat
10-27-2012, 11:15 PM
One time I saw one flying towards me quickly without realising what it was I threw up my hand and caught it instinctively and got stung for my trouble so I threw him on the ground and squished him the end.

Unbreakable Will
10-28-2012, 02:58 AM
I hate wasps with a passion, but over the summer, I had an amusing encounter with one.

We had a wasp that had been hanging out by our back door where Andrew has this motion activated prop from a former movie theater display set up so we can tell when people walk up to the door. We hadn't heard it go off all summer until this mothersmurfer showed up. Andrew looked out the window and THERE HE WAS AND HE WAS HUGE.

A week or so later after we'd forgotten about it, someone had left the back door open and the wasp made its way in. I was the only one to see it, as Andrew and his dad were preoccupied. I watched as it flew into the house, through the dining room into the living room where we were, then just made its way out the front door onto the enclosed porch. It amused me almost as much as it scared the living jeebus out of me, as it really was HUGE. I clung to Andrew for dear life, watching it. Andrew had no idea of course so he thought i was suddenly being very affectionate and kissed me and hugged me and i just sat there whimpering like WTF DUDE.

Finally Andrew took his headphones off and I told him so he got up and did the smart thing: opened the door to the porch farther so he could look at it. :eep: When he saw how scary it was, he finally closed the door. His younger sister happened to show up at this point with her two little ones and SHE was the one to kill the wasp with the wasp spray because Andrew is a little girl just like i am.

Holy shit!

Hollycat
10-28-2012, 03:12 AM
One time I was walking through the old Las Vegas Wasteland, and I saw a cave off the side of the road, so I went inside to check it out, and I walked all the way through it, picking up some snacks and chips and nuka cola, and then I went back outside, savoring my treats, only to find myself face to face with a four foot long giant black tarantula hawk! I quickly pulled out my trusty weathered 10mm and unloaded a clip into its face, only for him to keep coming at me, more angry than ever, so I ran away as fast as I could in the opposite direction, all the while dropping mines. Suddenly I felt a sharp pain in my back, and suddenly, it was if my whole body was on fire, and I could barely move. Knowing it was either fight back or die, I turned around and fired my last bullet right into one of the wasps eyes. He fluttered for a moment, and then fell down dead.
Relieved I lay on the ground panting, unaware that the poison was still hurting me. Roughly three seconds after laying down, I died.

Then I loaded an old save and went on my merry way.

Here is a picture of the average tarantula hawk, and the picture I took of the beast I killed.
Just When I Thought it Was Safe to Wander the Wasteland... - Cheezburger (http://cheezburger.com/6680275200)

Huckleberry Quin
10-28-2012, 03:36 AM
I had a mate in secondary school who had the worst hand-eye coordination ever. He sucked at basically every sport requiring such a skill, and it was always hilarious. One time, however, he showed us that he was actually an indomitable ninja put on this Earth for only one purpose: the humiliation and destruction of wasps.

So, it's lunch time and we're all sat about eating food. He has soup. In flies a wasp, which starts buzzing around, annoying everyone. My mate continues eating his soup and bides his time. Finally, the wasp flies in front of him.

It was the last mistake that wasp would ever make.

Quick as a flash, the guy picks up his spoon and raps the wasp with it, the way you would a disobedient child dog. The wasp drops, motionless, into his soup. Without missing a beat, my friend picks up a bit of bread, scoops the wasp up in and pops the whole thing in his mouth. xD

We all just sat there, astonished. Not only had he displayed lightning fast reflexes with extreme accuracy, but he also ate a wasp to assert his dominance. :cool:

Citizen Bleys
10-28-2012, 04:09 AM
Don't have an issue with wasps. They stay out of my way, I stay out of theirs. Easy.

Honeybees will leave you alone if you leave them alone. Do you think the ceiling fan in the OP picked a fight with a wasp? No. It's a freaking ceiling fan.

Wasps are aggressive monsters born directly in the city of Pandemonium within the blackest depths of Hell. They will pick a fight with an inanimate object.

Shorty
10-28-2012, 04:18 AM
Honeybees are sweethearts and just want to spread the nectar of love.

Citizen Bleys
10-28-2012, 04:35 AM
An aunt of mine related a story once which, to me, reeks of bullshit, but is germane to this topic:

One of her friends at the stables came from a country which has no bees* and saw one for the first time on a pile of hay; she was overcome with novelty, picked the bee up with one finger, and started petting it like a dog and didn't get stung. That's how docile honeybees are

*This is what reeks of bullshit. Unless my knowledge of biology is deficient--which it may well be since it's the one mainstream science I hate--any place with no bees would have to be completely devoid of vegetation. This means that the mystery girl is from the moon. I can believe a honeybee treated gently enough would not immediately react to physical contact with a sting, though. Not enough to try it, mind you, just enough that I didn't immediately call my aunt a big freaking liar until a year later on a Final Fantasy message board.

Shorty
10-28-2012, 04:38 AM
Maybe she had just never seen a bee before! I would like to know what country, specifically.

I love that that story seems to have made you so angry and you held it inside until the perfect opportunity to air it online.

Jiro
10-28-2012, 04:43 AM
Don't have an issue with wasps. They stay out of my way, I stay out of theirs. Easy.

Honeybees will leave you alone if you leave them alone. Do you think the ceiling fan in the OP picked a fight with a wasp? No. It's a freaking ceiling fan.

Wasps are aggressive monsters born directly in the city of Pandemonium within the blackest depths of Hell. They will pick a fight with an inanimate object.

There is a certain hierarchy in Australia. Although the common thing is to say "everything is trying to kill you," that is simply not wholly accurate. The wasp, for example, lakes a lethal sting for creatures of large size, and unless flanked by its cronies like a bully in a schoolyard, will opt to leave you be so long as you show no aggression. The mutual respect of a tough enemy.

Citizen Bleys
10-28-2012, 05:36 AM
Maybe she had just never seen a bee before! I would like to know what country, specifically.

The moon. It has to bee the moon.


I love that that story seems to have made you so angry and you held it inside until the perfect opportunity to air it online.

I came across as angry?

I don't get it.



There is a certain hierarchy in Australia. Although the common thing is to say "everything is trying to kill you," that is simply not wholly accurate. The wasp, for example, lakes a lethal sting for creatures of large size, and unless flanked by its cronies like a bully in a schoolyard, will opt to leave you be so long as you show no aggression. The mutual respect of a tough enemy.

I think you have wasps confused with honeybees. Wasps are the avatars of hate that will seek out the very threads of time itself for the throbbing of your heartbeat

Shorty
10-28-2012, 05:37 AM
The moon sounds plausible.

Not angry, just worked up!

drotato
10-28-2012, 07:22 AM
My friend is so allergic to honeybees... Once she had to dive out of a car because she was stuck in there with one... She would have been more swollen than a marshmallow in the microwave. :bigsmile:

Citizen Bleys
10-28-2012, 07:29 AM
The moon. It has to bee the moon.

It should be noted that the pun in that post was not intentional. Just noticed it now.

Clo
10-28-2012, 10:42 AM
I've been stung a lot

I'm too drunk to say more :(

Huckleberry Quin
10-28-2012, 02:42 PM
Drunk on wasp venom?

Unbreakable Will
10-28-2012, 04:05 PM
I had a mate in secondary school who had the worst hand-eye coordination ever. He sucked at basically every sport requiring such a skill, and it was always hilarious. One time, however, he showed us that he was actually an indomitable ninja put on this Earth for only one purpose: the humiliation and destruction of wasps.

So, it's lunch time and we're all sat about eating food. He has soup. In flies a wasp, which starts buzzing around, annoying everyone. My mate continues eating his soup and bides his time. Finally, the wasp flies in front of him.

It was the last mistake that wasp would ever make.

Quick as a flash, the guy picks up his spoon and raps the wasp with it, the way you would a disobedient child dog. The wasp drops, motionless, into his soup. Without missing a beat, my friend picks up a bit of bread, scoops the wasp up in and pops the whole thing in his mouth. xD

We all just sat there, astonished. Not only had he displayed lightning fast reflexes with extreme accuracy, but he also ate a wasp to assert his dominance. :cool:
That is amazing :jess:

Bleys, what about places that are typically frozen year round? While it's highly improbable that she's never seen one the possibility is still there. Although I have to say I agree that your Aunt's pants are on fire.

fire_of_avalon
10-28-2012, 04:21 PM
There are no bees in Antarctica or the North Pole.

Huckleberry Quin
10-28-2012, 04:42 PM
Or the Moon.

Citizen Bleys
10-28-2012, 11:14 PM
The moon is typically frozen all year round.

Chris
10-28-2012, 11:15 PM
Fearing wasps? Try facing a freaking snake while you're peacefully attempting to pick some freaking bananas.

Citizen Bleys
10-29-2012, 02:38 AM
Not all snakes are aggressive, and poisonous snakes tend to live in already hellish environments where nowhere in their right mind would be anyways, such as Texas or Australia.

If I see a snake, I try to catch it. Haven't caught one yet, but I'm curious about whether a common garden snake would get along well with my cat.

Jiro
10-29-2012, 04:24 AM
There are no bees in Antarctica or the North Pole.

I also read something about them going extinct in China.

drotato
10-29-2012, 07:43 AM
You know what the Happening said... If all the bees go extinct, we will die~! :(

Jiro
10-29-2012, 08:19 AM
I don't want to die just yet.

Huckleberry Quin
10-29-2012, 02:23 PM
I heard that one of the moons of Poosh has also gone missing. What the hell is going on?

drotato
10-30-2012, 04:12 AM
:(