Would I Lie To You? Game 1 SUDDEN DEATH!

[Citizen Bleys]

Hello, and welcome to Would I Lie To You?, the game where BS is SOP.

On Rantz's team today, we have the source of a FF character's crippling back problems, not to mention thousands of unrealistic teenage fantasies, it's Tifa's Boobs!
We also have a man for whom bulltroutting is not only a hobby, it's his entire career, please welcome Raistlin!

Joining Jiro today, we have a man so adept at the art of lying, he once convinced the police he wasn't a psychopath, it's Mercen-X!
We also have a blast from the past so adept at artifice that in the Anniversary Mafia game, he convinced me for a full week that he was a woman, it's Formalhaut!

For Round One and Two, we'll be playing Quick-Fire Lies. One of our panelists will be reading a statement that I PM to them. Either it will be a true statement they've PM'd to me before the game or a lie they've never seen before. It'll be up to the opposing team to set the record straight. Play begins when he (Yeah, I'll use the right pronoun, since I rolled the numbers before making this thread) posts the statement I'm about to PM to him. The opposing team then has 24 hours to ask questions to try to determine if what he said is bona fide or bollocks. After 24 hours, he is no longer required to answer any questions.

All 6 players can comment during the question period, and the player in the hotseat can communicate with their teammates via PM if so desired--if you want your team to know if you're lying or not so they can comment accordingly, that's up to you.

Phase ends when the captain on the team opposing the hotseat player submits a vote in bold, colour-coded format (to distinguish an actual answer from a general statement of belief/disbelief). This vote can be entered during the question period or after. The captain makes the final decision, even if both teammates disagree. Vote format is ##Vote: Lie or ##Vote: Truth. After the vote, I'll reveal if the statement is true or not and begin the next phase.

The hotseat player for Phase 1 was selected randomly; In the next 2 Phases, his teammates get the hotseat, and Round 2 will be more of the same, but with the opposing team taking the hotseat.

Non-players please restrict your commentary to the WILTY? Game 1 Audience Thread (http://home.eyesonff.com/wonder-square/147243-wilty-game-1-audience-thread.html).
Players are not permitted to view the Audience Thread until the game ends; this will work on the honour system as that was effective in Mafia. There will be a separate contest available for audience members.

After the game, in addition to the game winners, I'll select a Liar of the Day (either the best at lying or just the funniest) who wins...sod all.

Players: As play has now officially started, your true statements or lack thereof are now locked in and cannot be changed.

First up is Raistlin PM inbound as soon as I generate the numbers to pick your statement from the truth/lie matrix.

SCOREBOARD
Team Formalhaut: 4
Team Rantz: 5

GAME OVER! Team Rantz wins!

[Rantz]

Awesome. Some music to set the mood (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X3KnCL0S_Ws) while waiting for Raist.

[Jinx]

Goddammit, Wesley. Stop having a job and GET HERE. :colbert:

[Citizen Bleys]

((I specifically put the start of the time-limited question period in the hotseat player's control so that they could post their PM at a time when they'd most likely be able to get online to answer questions. No sense in opening questioning right before a long work shift when you can't get online to answer or in a foreign time zone))

[Jinx]

((I specifically put the start of the time-limited question period in the hotseat player's control so that they could post their PM at a time when they'd most likely be able to get online to answer questions. No sense in opening questioning right before a long work shift when you can't get online to answer or in a foreign time zone))

I just want the game to begin, is all. I wasn't worried. :)

[Raistlin]

Here I am for your daily dose of the god's honest truth:


I have a birth mark on my scrotum.

[Citizen Bleys]

Timer started! Question period ends Friday, December 13, 2012 22:52 GMT

[Formalhaut]

Ok... this is a rather strange response.

So, when you say a birthmark, where is it? I'm fully expecting pictures! You will be a barefaced liar if you don't provide any! :mad2:

[Citizen Bleys]

Please do not post pictures of your scrotum :(

[Raistlin]

I cannot provide a real picture, and to do so would be to undermine the very purpose of this game, but I have instead provided a helpful diagram:

38426

The above pic is an underside view (as if viewed from underneath me), with the red circled portion being the area of the birth mark (around where the scrotum is connected to the body).

The little lines off to the sides are my legs, for size comparison.

[Jiro]

You appear to lack a penis. Or, it is smaller than your balls.

[Raistlin]

I uh... was just exposed to pictures of Iceglow's mom. Talk about shrinkage. :shifty:

[Jiro]

How on Yevon's green Spira did you discover such a birthmark? It seems practically impossible to notice!

[Jinx]

I'm sure Wesley fondles his balls enough to notice, Dak.

[Raistlin]

How on Yevon's green Spira did you discover such a birthmark? It seems practically impossible to notice!

When you're as sexy as me, you check yourself out a lot. You know what I'm talking about. /smug

Also it's a bit larger than my otherwise fabulous Paint depiction would suggest. Additionally, the hairs that grow out of the affected area are white.

[Jiro]

I know exactly what you're talking about :smug:

[Citizen Bleys]

ANYONE ELSE CARE TO ANNOUNCE THAT THEY HAVE WHITE BALL HAIR?

[Jiro]

inb4 TB

[Citizen Bleys]

Checkmate, theists.

[Raistlin]

ANYONE ELSE CARE TO ANNOUNCE THAT THEY HAVE WHITE BALL HAIR?

It makes me look distinguished.

Also, I will be going to bed soon, and as EoFF is blocked from my work, I won't be answering questions until evening (around the same time I made my first post here). I'll answer all outstanding questions then.

[Citizen Bleys]

The deadline is for questions, not answers. All it means is that you are not obliged to answer questions posed after 24 hours.

Jiro can still end the phase at any time with an official vote, though, even if there are unanswered questions

[Jiro]

Well I would prefer to wait for my team to show up but I think I've asked all the questions I can think of.

[Citizen Bleys]

Well I would prefer to wait for my team to show up but I think I've asked all the questions I can think of.

You have no time limit for voting, only questions.

IMO intelligent gameplay precludes voting before the deadline as that would only stop your team from contributing, but enforcing my idea of intelligent gameplay violates neutrality even if I do the same to both teams as far as I'm concerned. If either of you sees a win in voting early, you're free to exploit it.

[Jinx]

inb4 TB

I do not have balls, fuck you. :doublecolbert:

[Jiro]

Well I would prefer to wait for my team to show up but I think I've asked all the questions I can think of.

You have no time limit for voting, only questions.

IMO intelligent gameplay precludes voting before the deadline as that would only stop your team from contributing, but enforcing my idea of intelligent gameplay violates neutrality even if I do the same to both teams as far as I'm concerned. If either of you sees a win in voting early, you're free to exploit it.

Oh, of course, but I'm also interested in keeping this thing moving at an appropriate pace!

Raistlin, how many of your friends and family know about this little birthmark? Is it a popular tale to share, or one you prefer keeping to yourself?

[Formalhaut]

Sorry! Just got back from sixth form.

So this birthmark then, is the mole slightly raised, like a small bump, or is it more flat and smooth?

[Citizen Bleys]

Update: 2 hours, 16 minutes remains to get questions in

[Raistlin]

Raistlin, how many of your friends and family know about this little birthmark? Is it a popular tale to share, or one you prefer keeping to yourself?

It is my favorite pickup line at bars. The ladies dig big, white balls.


So this birthmark then, is the mole slightly raised, like a small bump, or is it more flat and smooth?

It's not a mole! It's a skin discoloration, which is smooth, that affects the hair color out of that area.

[Citizen Bleys]

Deadline expired!

It's now up to Jiro's team to make their decision: Is Raistlin's statement fact or fib?

[Jiro]

The counsel of my companions would be most appreciated!

[Jiro]

Ahem.

##Vote: Lie

[Citizen Bleys]

And thus, time for the big reveal. Wesly's statement is, in fact...


TRUE


...and if the fact that we all now know more about WesLY's genitals than we ever wanted to isn't proof that God does not exist, I don't know what is.

Next up will be Rantz if my random.org gives me an even number, and Tifa's Boobs if it comes up odd. And the number is: 26

Statement PM going out as soon as I update the predictions count in the Audience thread and roll the numbers.

Selected and sent, 24 hours begins when Rantz posts.

[Raistlin]

Aha, I figured this would sound like Bleys gave me a ridiculous and random lie.

Let's go Rantz!

[Jiro]

I played the odds. If you were lying, then we'd get the point. If you were telling the truth, we all get to laugh at your weird balls.

[Mercen-X]

Crap in a hat either way.

[Rantz]

It feels strange to have my team be helped by Raist's weird scrote.


I am not allowed into China.

My dad went to Tibet in the 80s during a trip throughout southern Asia and travelled around the region. From stories he's told me it was pretty awesome there and the "natives" were super chill and welcoming, but the Chinese military presence was uncomfortable and they were ridiculously untrusting and rude a lot of the time. He met a guy from the UK who was passing through as well and one night they got to talking and discussing the political situation with a bias towards Tibetan autonomy (I'm not super knowledgeable about the situation down there, but I think that was the gist of it). They were overheard and needless to say it wasn't very popular. Long story short, after an uncomfortable night in a guardhouse being questioned in bad English, they were served with a deportion order and an edict stating they or their immidate families were not allowed inside the borders of China again. It's pretty sucky, but it also makes for a funny(ish) story so I'm not too bothered. :p

[Jiro]

This is another one which is pretty plausible. Hmm. What does your dad do for a living? Was he just on holidays, or what? Why did he go to Tibet in the first place?

I am doubtful, because I expect the Chinese would detain them for far longer than a night. Two foreigners meeting up would easily look like some kind of plot imo.

[Rantz]

My dad is a... political secretary? Is that a thing in English? I can't find a better translation. But he was on holidays, yes, it wasn't a work thing or anything. His holidays just tend to correlate with his political interests xD He was particularly interested in the conflicts of that area so he spent more time there than in most places.

[Formalhaut]

Before commenting on the next one, I would have personally gone for True for Rantz's scrotum discolouration. It just rang true.

Anyway, this political drama business. Did your dad do anything after being deported? Did he complain to anyone about it or just otherwise make a noise about it? If he's a political secretary who just got his entire family and himself banned over a suspected Tibetan liberation plot I would have expected his employers to be less than impressed. I also find the whole immediate family ban slightly heavy handed, but then again, this is China.

[Rantz]

Anyway, this political drama business. Did your dad do anything after being deported? Did he complain to anyone about it or just otherwise make a noise about it? If he's a political secretary who just got his entire family and himself banned over a suspected Tibetan liberation plot I would have expected his employers to be less than impressed. I also find the whole immediate family ban slightly heavy handed, but then again, this is China.

He didn't make much noise about it. He works in local politics so he and his employers, if you can call them that, don't really deal with foreign issues in their work, apart from cooperating with sister cities in other Baltic countries and such. You'd really have to push the issue with national government if you wanted to take political action somehow, but no, he didn't really make a fuss.

I also never got the idea that they thought there was suspicion of any sort of liberation plot. xD Just, you know, foreigners sympathising with the wrong party sort of thing.

[Formalhaut]

Bearing in mind that China doesn't even like Google and has banned it from their internet, Tibet sympathisers are hardly going to be given the soft treatment.

If I had to vote right now, I'd lean towards lie. But then again, I'm a complete idiot so I'm probably wrong.

[Mercen-X]

Agreed. I am also a complete... well, no, I won't cop to that. But a lot of other people have voiced their theory on it. I would lean towards lie just because I don't believe anyone outside of China knows or cares about the issues within its borders (apart from the obvious shakiness about they're rearming and amassing troops). Naturally, that means I find Rantz to be a complete oddnut for knowing anything about it. It's possible he Googled it. I can only hope I'm right.

[Jiro]

Plenty of people know about the Tibet issue though, there was all sorts of news coverage and there are "Friends of Tibet" groups all around the world. I think it's plausible this happened but I doubt very strongly that there would be any immediate family ban. I mean, what does that really achieve? It seems nonsensical to me.

What airports did you stop at on your way to visit Shorty? And what airline did ya take?

[Rantz]

Copenhagen and Newark, both ways. I flew with SAS and United Airlines. So no Chinese ones - I assume that's why you asked :p I've never been near Asia, actually.

As for knowing about it, well... I'm not from the US, so I get educated on foreign issues. :greenie: And of course, my dad has told me a lot about it.

[Jiro]

We talking early or late 80s?

EDIT: Also any idea where in Tibet he actually was?

[Rantz]

Right at the start of the 80s, I think it was. It never occurred to me to ask for specifics about where in Tibet he was. Could be interesting to get a more detailed story one day, though!

[Jiro]

Man, that would've been the coolest kind of tale. When did he first tell you about it, do you remember?

[Rantz]

I imagine I must've heard it pretty early on in some basic form, although I can't remember specifically. A wild guess would be around age 4-5 when I asked about a prayer... thingy... that he brought back. I can't find a translation of its name.

Edit: One of these thingies.

38453

Edit2: Takkun helped me out - it's called a prayer wheel!

[Jiro]

Does anybody else have any questions then? I don't know what else I can ask. Judging from the times all mentioned your father would've missed the serious issues in Tibet, which would explain why he could receive such a light punishment, and you wouldn't have heard about it until at least '92 at which point I blinked into existence completely unaware of all the events that transpired prior to it so I have no fucking idea and cannot help but feel I'm not quite the guy who should be in charge.

[Rantz]

I don't know what else I can say to convince you! I doubt these cases are very common but I have heard of other cases of whole families being deported/banned from entry by China before, for what it's worth. Although, being the guy in the "hotseat", I don't suppose that's very much. :p

[Jiro]

I doubt there is much else I could probe from you anyway. I'll give my team mates a chance to weigh in and hope they might deduce something greater from you.

[Rantz]

Well, the 24 hours are up, I believe, but they can still weigh in on the decision of course.

[Mercen-X]

Well, Bleys himself hasn't said as much yet, so...

Have you ever wanted to go to China?

[Formalhaut]

If I'm being honest, time zones are playing a factor in how late I am in posting! Nevermind...

Anyway, was your dad ever given like some offical paper which says "BANNED FROM CHINA" or something essentially to that effect? If this immediate banning was true, there must have been some paperwork saying it.

Was your dad ever given papers?

[Rantz]

I don't mind answering more!


Well, Bleys himself hasn't said as much yet, so...

Have you ever wanted to go to China?

Sure, there are lots of places there I've often wanted to go. But eh, I don't feel like it's a huge problem. It's not like I'm gonna have time/money to visit all the places I want to anyway.


If I'm being honest, time zones are playing a factor in how late I am in posting! Nevermind...

Anyway, was your dad ever given like some offical paper which says "BANNED FROM CHINA" or something essentially to that effect? If this immediate banning was true, there must have been some paperwork saying it.

Was your dad ever given papers?

Yeah, I know he was given papers, although I've never seen them, and to be honest, I don't know how "official" they are. I don't know how thorough they can even be when checking up on who enters the country - it might just be some scare tactic that they don't actually follow up on. But I'm not about to find out. xD

[Citizen Bleys]

Well, Bleys himself hasn't said as much yet, so...


Yeah, if the deadline expires while I'm in bed (as may happen multiple times due to time zones), then consider it expired when someone notices xD

The deadline just means the hotseat player doesn't have to answer questions, it doesn't mean you can't ask them.

[Formalhaut]

China using scare tactics? Never! :p

I'm abit perplexed. If the Chinese authorities were going to deport and ban someone and their entire family, I'm fairly certain they might as well go all the way, not just pretend and be done with it. It sounds too soft for China.

[Jinx]

JIRO SEND IN YOUR ANSWER I WANT MY TURN IN THE HOTSEAT

[Formalhaut]

Were it up to me, I'd be tempted to go for a lie. Still, what do I know?

[Jiro]

Geez, the one time I take a personal day and people get impatient :greenie:

##Vote: Lie

[Citizen Bleys]

Rantz's banishment from China is, in fact


A LIE

He can actually go to China any time he wants; after this thread, they just won't let him leave.

This was actually one of my favourite lies.

[Jinx]

He fooled me! xD

I know his dad is a politician of sorts, so he totally had me going.


um

:stare:

[Jinx]

douple bost, suck my cock


Stuffing/dressing (not sure what everyone else calls it) makes me literally puke.

[Jiro]

Stuffing and dressing are two entirely different things and you know food well enough to differentiate. I'm calling bullshit straight up! But, there's no point jumping the gun. What is it that makes you puke? Have you been diagnosed with an allergy? What is it called; or, why haven't you? What do you eat at Thanksgiving then?

[Jinx]

No, I think they are the same thing! But, I think it is the spice in it. The cumin, or whatever. I don't have an allergy, no, I just don't like it. Why would I be tested for an allergy to stuffing/dressing? That's just silliness, Jiro. I just eat a ton of potatoes and turkey.

[Citizen Bleys]

Didn't think to clarify this earlier, but mognet messaging is explicitly allowed in this game. It could be useful for intrateam strategy or if you want a rules clarification without alerting the other team to your idea.

[Jiro]

I don't recall ever hearing of someone who was physically ill after eating something they just didn't like.

Dressing is what you put on salads, innit? Stuffing is what you put in turkeys and that. I, how are they ever confused. Hmm. This might be a cultural thing that defeats me.

[Jinx]

Yeah, here the names can be used interchangeably. At least in the Midwest, can't say for the rest of the country.

But you're right. You do put dressing on salad! So, dressing can mean two things.

When I was a server I always asked people what sauce they wanted on their salad, though, so, go figure. :monster:

[Rantz]

Oh, can I look in the audience thread now that my lie is done? :D Curious to read if there was any commentary.

Also, the most entertaining part (for me) was that while the statement in question was a lie, a lot of what I said surrounding it was true. My dad has the job I said, and he did go to Tibet because of his interest in their culture and political situation (although I might have gotten the time of the trip wrong). He brought back a prayer wheel, too. He never met an Englishman or got himself arrested, though. Although the Chinese military were reportedly very rude and suspicious.

[Citizen Bleys]

Oh, can I look in the audience thread now that my lie is done?

That'll have to wait until after the game :)

EDIT: You know what? Screw it. The idea behind that rule is to keep player votes from being influenced by audience discussion. As of now, the hotseat team can read the audience thread all they want.

[Formalhaut]

So you like stuffing/dressing enough to hold in and ask people what "sauce" they want on their salads, yet you cannot physically bring yourself to eat it yourself? Interesting.



No, I think they are the same thing! But, I think it is the spice in it. The cumin, or whatever.

I'm sure you can get stuffing/dressing without cumin in it right? It can't be the absolute key ingredient for all types of stuffing/dressing.

[Jinx]

So you like stuffing/dressing enough to hold in and ask people what "sauce" they want on their salads, yet you cannot physically bring yourself to eat it yourself? Interesting.

Erm, I'm not entirely sure what you're trying to say/ask here.

I'm sure you can get stuffing/dressing without cumin in it right? It can't be the absolute key ingredient for all types of stuffing/dressing.[/QUOTE]

I dunno. I've had stuffing will all sorts of different stuff in it, different spices, ingredients, and I still don't' like it.

[Citizen Bleys]

Deadline in 5 hours, 28 minutes

[Raistlin]

I also thought Rantz's was a lie, but he did a very good job with presenting it believably.

[Jiro]

##Vote: Truth

Citizen Bleys is not sinister enough to use the term literally so I cannot help but feel that while I am doubtful Tifa's Boobs vomits every time she eats stuffing, this statement is written by her and therefore true.

[Raistlin]

Citizen Bleys is not sinister enough to use the term literally so I cannot help but feel that while I am doubtful Tifa's Boobs vomits every time she eats stuffing, this statement is written by her and therefore true.

As Jiro already sent in the irrevocable vote, I think I can share this text I sent Boobies about one hour previously (without knowing for myself):


I think your statement is true only because I don't think Bleys would use "literally" in that fashion. But I'm having trouble believing you don't like anything with "cum" in it.

[Citizen Bleys]

It is, in fact,


TRUE

That marks the end of the round. Round 2 will be another round of Quick-Fire Lies with Team Jiro taking the hotseat to defend their early lead.

[Jiro]

Citizen Bleys is not sinister enough to use the term literally so I cannot help but feel that while I am doubtful Tifa's Boobs vomits every time she eats stuffing, this statement is written by her and therefore true.

As Jiro already sent in the irrevocable vote, I think I can share this text I sent Boobies about one hour previously (without knowing for myself):


I think your statement is true only because I don't think Bleys would use "literally" in that fashion. But I'm having trouble believing you don't like anything with "cum" in it.

Yeah I was sitting here thinking about it and thinking about it trying to understand why being physically ill every time you ate this shit wouldn't be grounds for like, getting some help, and so I was like "clearly it's a lie! she's saying she just doesn't like it!" and then I re-read the statement and saw the word literally and I just had to meta-game. Pow, wow, shazzow.

[Citizen Bleys]

Sidenote: Not only do I use the word "literally," liberally, I always pronounce it with a British accent.

I also get physically ill from the very smell of mustard, so the statement was plausible.

Up to bat first for Team Jiro is the man himself. PM incoming as soon as I run the numbers to select a statement.

[Jinx]

Okay, to elaborate:

Yes, whatever it is about it just makes me sick. It's so gross to me, I will literally gag and puke all over my plate, and have done so several times. I thought this was just a thing when I was a kid, but has followed me into adulthood.

Also, it's SAGE in stuffing, NOT cumin. I was trying to so false in hope someone would pick up on that and think I was lying. :monster:

http://i1188.photobucket.com/albums/z402/howens13/Stuffing_zps73a16692.jpg

[Jiro]

I don't eat it because I don't like the taste, it also causes me to feel ill but not violently :monster: Anyway, here's my statement for y'all to speculate.


I was once kicked out of a retirement home.

[Raistlin]

It's true. Jiro is an awful person. :colbert:

Ok, ok, I suppose I should ask some questions anyway. What did you do?

[Jinx]

Why were you in the retirement home? What did you do that got you kicked out?

[Jiro]

I was there visiting my grandmother who is quite passionately religious. I might have talked to some EoFFers about her before actually; she's, I guess, so "into it" that she's actually converted Jehovah's Witnesses that have come to her door trying to convert her. I cannot for the life of me remember what strain of Christianity she's a part of but it doesn't really matter 'cause it's one of the bigoted and ignorant strains that we all have a bit of an issue with.

So I was sat there talking with her and mum and she starts talking about politics. This was back in 08 just after Kevin Rudd had been elected and he was apparently "not for Israel" which made him a really bad politician and she was getting all uppity about it. I was sitting there thinking "wtf has that got to do with anything?" but kept my mouth shut 'cause you know I'm pretty polite.

She kept hammering on about different stuff and eventually settled on the topic of National Sorry Day. There's a lot of explanation here which I'll kind of skip on but up until about the 80s there was forced child removal policies in place where the children of indigenous families - particularly in traditional communities - would be removed (obviously) from their families and kind of "raised" as white kids. Basically there's a history of the Government trying to breed and educate the black out of the native people of this country. Kevin Rudd was the first guy to stand up and deliver a formal apology and actually acknowledge, yeah, holy fuck, we were a mob of :bou::bou::bou::bou:s, sorry about that, let's try and improve things in the future.

But yeah so my grandmother is surprisingly racist as well and started talking about how this was just furthering the welfare attitude and showing discrimination against white people and this and that and I don't really want to go into it because it pisses me off just thinking about it but I had a bit of a flare up at her and it got heated and I swore and one of the staff came in and escorted me off the premises for bothering a resident. I might've yelled at her a little bit too because I was mad and thought she was outside of her rights to do such a thing :shobon:

[Jinx]

And then what happened?

[Jiro]

Well mum followed me out and we went home and I think we stopped for lunch on the way back. I mean that pissed me off but so long as we avoid religion or politics I don't mind spending time with my grandma. I guess if there's one thing my family has always been kind of good at it is pretending things like that never really happened and acting as "normal" as I guess is possible xD

[Jinx]

Yes, but, how did the actual kicking out part happen?

It doesn't sound like you were kicked out at all, but just left because you're angsty.

[Jiro]

Um....


one of the staff came in and escorted me off the premises for bothering a resident. I might've yelled at her a little bit too because I was mad and thought she was outside of her rights to do such a thing :shobon:

[Jinx]

Um....


one of the staff came in and escorted me off the premises for bothering a resident. I might've yelled at her a little bit too because I was mad and thought she was outside of her rights to do such a thing :shobon:

Oh! I must've skimmed this part because I thought you meant you were talking to your gran.

Why did a staff escort you? Why not a security guard? If they truly thought you were a threat, why did they not call the police?

[Jiro]

Do I look like a threat? Honestly now! They asked me to leave and even though I was angry and said a few choice words to the staff member, it's not like I was violent or intimidating. I was some short ass 15 year old kid! I went "willingly" I guess you could say and then that was the end of it. I guess it was more a case of "you're disturbing people please go now" and so I did. Even when mad I'm not exactly confrontational and I don't think getting arrested is high up on my list of things to do :monster:

[Jinx]

What did your mum/parents do when you were escorted out? Where you banned from ever coming back? What happened with your gran?

[Jiro]

You seem under the impression that I was some manic lunatic. I raised my voice and swore a bit but I'm not aggressive. They escorted me out so I wouldn't be a disturbance and I guess as a preventative measure in case I did start being "dangerous", mum followed afterwards (like I already said!) and we left. I wasn't banned from coming back - can they even really do that? I mean I guess so, but I'm probably not willing to try my luck. I suppose it's one of those things where you've got a warning, don't fuck up again or we'll come down hard on you. Nothing "happened" with my grandma, I'm not really sure what the question is trying to gauge but we still talk and that. She was just in the hospital this past weekend which was a bit worrying, but everything seems okay now.

[Jinx]

What part of the old folks' home were you in when this happened?

What I meant was, after raising your voice and insulting your gran, how did she react?

Why so angry, Dakoda?

[Jiro]

Why so angry? Because I was raised in a community of aboriginal people and I identify with them and am accepted as a member of that community. I understand that it's all well and good for people of privileged upbringings to say "you're lazy and alcoholics and no I don't want my tax money to try and bring you out of the third world" but I've seen it. My family lives it. There is that saying that you can't choose your family but I vehemently disagree. You can't choose who you are related to but your family are the people closest to you and you can choose them. I take it as personal offence whenever this sort of completely ignorant racism rocks up, and it was particularly pig-headed of my grandmother to spout that kind of stuff considering the fact she knows her daughter had worked in an Aboriginal Corporation for ~12 years and was deeply involved in trying to support the community and deal with tough issues like that. It pissed me off because here was a woman who was supposed to know better. I mean we didn't spend a lot of time together, it wasn't until she moved to that retirement home that she was sort of close enough for us to visit "regularly" but goddamn where is the empathy a Christian is supposed to demonstrate, even? Utter infuriating nonsense she was saying and it flicked a switch for me.

She's a pretty reserved kind of person I guess. I don't know quite how to explain it. I mean she was kind of shocked, I guess, and went quiet and I think was probably more offended that I started my tirade and was swearing than the fact I was actually disagreeing with her. I mean, she's conservative, that's the word I wanted. Yeah so she just went quiet and then the staff member came over and was like "yeah you need to leave now" and so I got up and followed her out.

The place is pretty nice, it's called Embracia (it's in Beerwah) and being in the Sunshine Coast hinterland there's a big natural focus so there's all these outdoor seating areas. So we were outside because it was a nice day and walked me out. The "lobby" I guess kind of splits off into wings and the main open area is in the middle so you walk straight up and into it through the doors. Pretty neat little set up all things considered.

[Jinx]

No no, I meant, you seem like you're getting irked by the questions I'm asking. xD I fully understand why you'd be angry about the aboriginal thing?

What exactly did your gran say?

What did the other people around you do? Did anyone complain?

[Jiro]

Oh I'm not annoyed by your questions, a part from the fact I should've figured these sorts of questions would be a part of the experience. You can't just say a quirky fact and get people to guess off nothing but yeah it's one of those times where I'm a little mixed between that remnant anger and just sheer embarrassment over that kind of behaviour.

As for what "exactly" my grandma said, it might surprise you to know that I can't remember a conversation from 4ish years ago :monster: I only really remember the gist of things because in an equally comedic-tragic fashion it's almost a recurring conversation - or at least theme - whenever mum goes to see her. I don't understand, maybe she's going senile or something, but it's probably not good to rag on people like that grandma. She's getting better I suppose. But yeah, I can't say what she said apart from the general gist of indigenous people being lazy and demanding handouts and not trying to work for anything etc. That itself isn't an uncommon thing; look at your own country's attitude towards the poor esp. ethnics and minorities. *shrug*

People complained, I guess. I mean I didn't really pay attention. Probably wasn't a whole lot of people outside 'cause it was warmish and inside was air-conditioned so I guess "more comfortable" but w/e we wanted to sit out in the nice weather. It often smurfing rains on the Sunshine Coast. Anyway, the complaints were probably those kinds where you see some spectacle and turn to the person next to you and whisper something or whatever, but the staff member was straight over and out out out I went so there wasn't a whole lot of time to cause a scene.

[Raistlin]

What was the name of the staff member who escorted you out?

What day of the week was it?

Did you ever visit the retirement home again? How long after you were kicked out? Were any of the staff reluctant to let you back in?

Following this incident, what was the next conversation you had with your grandmother?

[Jiro]

I have no idea what her name was xD It was probably a Saturday seeing as I was in what, Year 11 and so had school during the week. God do you need the wind velocity as well? I probably have smurfing yoghurt and strawberries for breakfast because I could :monster:

Time after that would've been on her birthday or around it so early August (August 11th fyi) and I don't recall there being any sort of issue. The conversation largely revolved around "happy birthday" and I don't know maybe how things have been going. It was far less interesting a conversation, otherwise I'd remember it better - or at all :monster:

[Jinx]

##Vote Bullshit

Rantzums? Raistums?

[Raistlin]

I'm leaning towards lie as well. The one thing that makes me hesitate now is Jiro's responses to my questions, which ring genuine.

But I think the statement is something Bleys would write, and the rest of what Jiro has said makes me think it is a well-told lie.

I won't be online until tomorrow evening, only a couple of hours before questions close. I may have some more questions then.

Last questions of the night:

What time of day was it when you were kicked out?

What did you do afterwards?

Was anyone else with you at the time?

[Jiro]

It would've been around midday. It was prior to at least 3pm because I would've had to go home and get ready to ref that afternoon/evening so it couldn't have been too late. And I mean, like I said before, we got food on the way back so I was obviously hungry (although that doesn't say much 'cause I'm always hungry) and so that puts us around lunch time.

What did I do afterwards? Well I mean, I ate, then I went home and got ready to go ref whatever games were on. It was probably two lines for the 2nd and then 1st Div Men's considering the age I was.

Nobody else was with me, apart from mum of course. My dad doesn't even visit his fucking family, and my brother is a self interested little shit a lot of the time, always has been, so he was probably at home or at a friend's place being a fucking nuisance.

[Citizen Bleys]

Deadline is still 19 hours, 53 minutes away by my count.

[Rantz]

How awful of you, Jiro!

What comment of your grandmother's was it that made you flip? :D

Edit: Well there's a bunch of posts I managed not to read before. Gimme a sec.

Okay here are some other questions.

How did your mother react when you were thrown out? Did she follow you out or did she join you later?

What sort of obscenities did you yell out? How loud did you really get?

[Jiro]

She was a bit shamefaced as well. I mean, way to cause a scene. But it was more like "be quiet next time" because she basically agreed with me. :shobon: I am very much her son in a lot of ways.

I don't remember what obscenities I yelled exactly. I don't know whether it's apparent in some of my ranting posts at EoFF, but when I get worked up I use quite unnecessarily "fancy" and "dramatic" words, I suppose you could say. So if I was to take a stab at the things I would've said, it would be things like "this utterly shameless ignorance does nothing but propagate the constant struggle that the indigenous people face every day and it's thanks to white supremacist bullshit like this that the situation occurred in the first place" etc. I don't know, it's kind of hard to understand what my vocabulary was like because if anything, spending time with people like Citizen Bleys, The Man and Raistlin really teaches you how to bitch with finesse.

[Rantz]

How were you sitting during your visit - around a table? On a bench? Some other way? Nice view?

[Jiro]

How was I sitting xD They have tables with benches, I don't know what sort of seating they have in Sweden but it's like the all-in-one construct except made out of wood. It can be frustrating to sit on things like that if you're tall 'cause lanky legs are hard to get in and all, you'd probably struggle.

Nice...view? Is that some kind of wink wink nudge nudge thing that I'm supposed to get a kick out of old people or something? The place is nice, the Sunshine Coast itself prides itself on being environmentally attractive and a bunch of bloody flowers and that counts. I mean it was into Autumn/Fall by that point but the great thing about native Australian plants is that they don't all just shrivel up and die during those months.

[Formalhaut]

Jesus Christ, I leave the internet for just half a day and suddenly the game's moved on double speed! Yikes.

[Jinx]

Jesus Christ, I leave the internet for just half a day and suddenly the game's moved on double speed! Yikes.

Our team just asks questions better.

[Citizen Bleys]

TB: "My dad could beat up your dad!"
Formalhaut: "Really? How much would that cost me?"

EDIT: Deadline is 3 hours, 42 minutes as of this edit.

[Raistlin]

I don't really have any other questions. I still believe Jiro is lying -- if only because he is doing a very good job at seeming to tell the truth; if the statement actually was true, he might not want to seem so damn honest. Of course, I would not put it past Jiro to expect I'd think like this and be pulling a double-bluff (you can't trust those damn convicts as far as you can stand the smell of them), but additionally I think this is something Bleys would plausibly write as a lie.

Rantz: if you believe that Jiro is just screwing around and isn't trying to be competitive, then he's probably telling to truth. If you think he's a sneaky bastard, you should vote lie (although if you think he's a super ultra mega sneaky bastard, it might go back to truth). I recommend a lie vote.

[Mercen-X]

Holly Snit! We scored two points while I was gone! Joy! Also! Sorry, I was gone! I was at a party. Then I had a "sleepover." Now I'm... happy :smug:

[Citizen Bleys]

Deadline's expired for new questions.

Has been for quite some time but I forgot to edit my last post.

So, is Rantz going to go with his team or overrule? Stay tuned next time~!

[Jiro]

I don't really have any other questions. I still believe Jiro is lying -- if only because he is doing a very good job at seeming to tell the truth; if the statement actually was true, he might not want to seem so damn honest. Of course, I would not put it past Jiro to expect I'd think like this and be pulling a double-bluff (you can't trust those damn convicts as far as you can stand the smell of them), but additionally I think this is something Bleys would plausibly write as a lie.

Rantz: if you believe that Jiro is just screwing around and isn't trying to be competitive, then he's probably telling to truth. If you think he's a sneaky bastard, you should vote lie (although if you think he's a super ultra mega sneaky bastard, it might go back to truth). I recommend a lie vote.

If it helps you to make a decision, I never approach a situation without the intent to have a good time, but I always try to win. :greenie: And I have to admit that the thought of putting you into a total WIFOM situation is my dream; I know Bleys would get the maximum enjoyment out of this game if we all were convincing, but then sometimes strange things really do happen. I'm fortunate in that most of you have little to no idea how my day-to-day life actually transpires :jiro:

[Rantz]

I'm a little bit torn. The story seems familiar - I almost get the feeling that Jiro's told it before. I looked up the retirement home Jiro mentioned and his descriptions of it seem to mostly check out (of course Jiro could easily have looked it up the same way I did). I've been leaning towards truth for most of the round. The biggest technical hitch I can see is the table-with-benches construct which I can't see in any of their pictures despite several outside seating areas being shown, and which seems like a strange choice for an elderly home if you have to climb into them.

As far as the non-technical side of it goes, it seems credible enough. Jiro's description of his personality is certainly accurate. ;)

I'll give TB a chance to give her final say before I put the official vote, if that's okay.

[Raistlin]

I think Jiro probably does have a racist old grandmother who may have even been at that same retirement home. I don't think that has anything to do with whether he's telling the truth or not; if it was a lie, he could have simply used real details to make it sound more truthful.

[Jinx]

I'm a little bit torn. The story seems familiar - I almost get the feeling that Jiro's told it before. I looked up the retirement home Jiro mentioned and his descriptions of it seem to mostly check out (of course Jiro could easily have looked it up the same way I did). I've been leaning towards truth for most of the round. The biggest technical hitch I can see is the table-with-benches construct which I can't see in any of their pictures despite several outside seating areas being shown, and which seems like a strange choice for an elderly home if you have to climb into them.

As far as the non-technical side of it goes, it seems credible enough. Jiro's description of his personality is certainly accurate. ;)

I'll give TB a chance to give her final say before I put the official vote, if that's okay.

I already said on the last page I really think it's a lie. It's told convincingly, sure. But I dunno. Jiro does have a bad temper, so it could be true.

I still vote lie.

[Formalhaut]

I already said on the last page I really think it's a lie. It's told convincingly, sure. But I dunno. Jiro does have a bad temper, so it could be true.

I still vote lie.

So you say it could really be true, but then vote lie. It's all to play for the opposing team!

[Jinx]

I already said on the last page I really think it's a lie. It's told convincingly, sure. But I dunno. Jiro does have a bad temper, so it could be true.

I still vote lie.

So you say it could really be true, but then vote lie. It's all to play for the opposing team!

I mean, technically ANY of these could be true. I just think it's a lie.

[Formalhaut]

Not sure about you, but the whole scenario seems believable seeing how Jiro seems like this paragon of justice on the forums. He's kind, charming, Australian... were there someone being racist, I'm fairly certain he'd speak up about it.

Actually, Jiro could be Batman.

[Jinx]

Not sure about you, but the whole scenario seems believable seeing how Jiro seems like this paragon of justice on the forums. He's kind, charming, Australian... were there someone being racist, I'm fairly certain he'd speak up about it.

Actually, Jiro could be Batman.

Dude, I love Jiro too. But, no. xD

[Goldenboko]

It's not who you are on the inside, but what you do, that defines you.

[Citizen Bleys]

Hsst! No trying to influence the vote!

Yes that's right I said "hsst."

EDIT: There will likely be a delay before the start of the next round as the power has been out here for five hours and my smartphone battery is drying up. When the power comes up, this will be the first thread I check, honest.

[Goldenboko]

I know I wasn't suppose to post here, but I literally HAD to use that batman quote there.

[Rantz]

I'm tempted to go against you guys and say truth anyway because my gut tells me it's true. But the good thing about going along with what you say is I can blame you if you're wrong and steal your glory if you're right.

##Vote: Lie

[Citizen Bleys]

Updating with what looks like will be the last of my battery: ETR on power here is not til tomorrow and this mobile connection is too flaky to get to my truth/lie matrix, so I can't get the next PM sent out right away. I'll see in a min if I have enough battery to edit this post into consistency with the others.

Jiro's unceremonius ejection from an old folks home is, in sooth


A LIE

20 minutes, that took. 20 freaking minutes.

[Jinx]

FUCK YES I CALLED THISSSSSSSSSS

[Formalhaut]

I wonder how many bleeps that would get if we did this live on television?

Either way, well done Tifa's Boobs, before asking Jiro via PM where the truth lied, I was pretty convinced it was a truth. Just sounds like something Jiro would do.

[Raistlin]

Hell yes! *high fives Boobies*

[Rantz]

Awesome! Go me for making the right final decision! Right? *high fives himself*

Good call, you guys. xD

[Citizen Bleys]

Power came back on early, but random.org won't load for some reason, so I used Custom Random Number Generator (http://www.mathgoodies.com/calculators/random_no_custom.html)

Next up is Mercen-X. The statement PM has already been sent.

[Jiro]

The best thing is that the statement is actually true, in a sense. Can I have a different one next time :monster:

[Citizen Bleys]

What?

Well, I didn't know that and it came from the lie column, so for the purposes of the game it counts as a lie.

As for next time, it's a random number generator that makes the decisions, not me really. It's easier to be neutral that way.

[Formalhaut]

I'm intrigued, it's true, yet a lie?

Dun dun dun!!!!!

Edit: Really cannot wait till it's my turn!

[Jiro]

It wasn't a retirement home so the statement is a lie, but it's close enough to the truth for me to just use tru fax to explain myself :monster:

[Formalhaut]

I'm liking how many of these lies actually have a ring of truth to them. I'm impressed!

[Citizen Bleys]

I did try to match the diction to the player (i.e. using American spelling for Americans, British spelling for everyone else), but I did not expect anyone to assume that I could not have written something because the word "literally" was in it.

I'm almost tempted to add the word "literally" to a bunch of lies, but I'm following the same rules for my lies as I impose on the players for true statements.

[Mercen-X]

I was once suspended from school for an incident involving a lifelike plaster skull and sandwich meat.
My dad obtained this skull from a guy selling it out of his van on the side of the road. It wasn't just a skull. It was a bank (eventually after we started putting money in it, we had to smash it open which made my dad sad). The skull was designed wearing a helmut with a swastika. My mom thought it was the most ridiculous thing ever. The worst part: he had given it to her as a Christmas present. From that point on, whenever a member of my family gave another person something they had secretly intended for themselves, we called it a Nazi Skull Helmet (yeah, bad grammar).

[Jinx]

##VOTE: TRUTH

[Raistlin]

Yeah, that's too weird for even Bleys to make up.

I suppose I should ask some questions, though. Why were you suspended from school? How long were you suspended for?

[Jinx]

Where did the meat come in?

[Mercen-X]

Slap on the wrist: a day. I was caught trying to smoke it on a dare. I figured it was safer than the other stuff. So I used the skull as a bong (this was after it had been smashed and my dad had taped it back together). Neither I nor my "peers" had any idea how a bong was really supposed to work (in fact, I only found out firsthand recently). Have you ever met an idiot in person? Not until you've met me... or my "friends."

EDIT:

Where did the meat come in?

A classmate brought it from home.

[Jinx]

Yes, but what did you do with the meat?

[Mercen-X]

I direct you to post #141.

Wait... do you mean afterward? 'Cause it was "confiscated," which I assume actually means it was thrown away.

[Jinx]

You didn't specify what exactly you did with the meat?

[Raistlin]

You... tried to smoke meat... in a bong?

...

:|

[Mercen-X]

Yes. I think the meat was messed with, because I swear I think I felt something happening. Unless you really can get a buzz off of burnt meat smoke. lol... then again, I suppose it could have been the plaster.

You didn't specify what exactly you did with the meat?

We taped a bunch of straws to the skull's top and set fire to the meat in the bank below.

[Raistlin]

I give up. I hope the Mayans are right, because I can no longer live on this world.

[Raistlin]

I changed my mind. This has to be a terrible lie. I refuse to believe anyone would actually do that. My mental health requires it.

[Jinx]

You know, Mercen-X is really the ringer for Jiro's team. Everything fucking crazy sounds like something he'd do because


um

Because he is a very well balanced person!




/well played, Sam, well played

[Mercen-X]

I give up. I hope the Mayans are right, because I can no longer live on this world.
The Mayans are wrong. The world will go on for thousands more years. Obama is only the first of our false prophets who will plunge our world into war and famine. We will be marked with nanochips and forced to kneel to the all-knowing world order. Do not be overwrought by fear however, as tyrany will end and humanity will know universal peace and compassion.

I changed my mind. This has to be a terrible lie. I refuse to believe anyone would actually do that. My mental health requires it.
You seem awfully proud of your mental state. Maybe your compensating for something.

You know, Mercen-X is really the ringer for Jiro's team. Everything smurfing crazy sounds like something he'd do because

um

Because he is a very well balanced person!

/well played, Sam, well played

Saved by the um.

[Formalhaut]

My head has just exploded.

[Rantz]

o.o

I'm gonna do what I can to spare my team's sanity and put the team vote out there before this goes any further...

##Vote: Truth

[Formalhaut]

This is a quick round! That means its my turn next. Dear god. My one is is going to be so dull and boring compared to Mercen-X. I'd be surprised if anyone bothers turning up! :roll2

[Jinx]

AREN'T LIES RED, RANTZ?

[Mercen-X]

Rantz, your team knows not the definition of flun.

[Rantz]

AREN'T LIES RED, RANTZ?

Welp, I must be tired D: I meant to vote truth.

[Citizen Bleys]

And the Nazi Skull Helmet tale is...


A LIE

...but from this day forward, no definition of WIFOM will be complete without a link to Mercen-X's Mendacity.

Up next is Fomalhaut, and Rantz's team needs to get this one right to get a tie.

[Formalhaut]

Haha! Fooled ya! Ahem, right. Sorry. Sportsmanship and all that. Here we go then!



I literally set my trousers on fire trying to conceal the fact that I was smoking from my dad


Right so I know your all thinking "Why, that dear Formalhaut is such a dear young boy" but remember to not judge a book by it's cover! So the story goes something like this:

When I was in Year 9 of secondary school (So when I was 14 for you Americans) I was friends with a group of people who lets say weren't exactly what you'd call the pillars of health. I'm quite socially awkward and if my first year on EoFF is any reminder I'm wasn't particularly graceful either. Seriously, I'm too embarrassed to even look at my user notes from so long ago (http://home.eyesonff.com/usernote.php?u=37510).

But I digress. Anyway, I was trying to be part of the group and ingratiate myself with them, and so I decided to take up smoking to be part of them. It somewhat worked, I guess. I became closer friends with one of them and one day I invited him to come over to my house for some fun and games. That is not a euphemism for something else entirely.

During this time, we started smoking because we were home alone and hey, were kids and don't think things through. Little to my knowledge, my dad came back early from work and we heard the front door open. Me and my friend was obviously quite fearful of this, and so we fumbled around trying to get rid of the evidence. I don't know quite how it happened, but somehow I managed to accidently press the lighter switch on; perhaps I leant on it who knows the exact details. This flame from this set lit my trousers and me and my friends quickly patted the flames down. It weren't an inferno; I hardly spontaneously combusted. My dad came in a short time after this; the evidence all gone and the pants seared, but thankfully no obvious damage. However, the incident scared me to no end and I stopped smoking.

I'm sorry for the long-ish post, but I know you guys will be asking questions to no end so I thought it would be best just to put down everything I know.

[Jinx]

What were you smoking?

[Raistlin]

Dammit, I was right! In the end, anyway. Trust Mercen-X to take a weird lie from Bleys and make it infinitely weirder.

I'm on my phone right now, but I'll read through the latest round and ask some questions when I get home.

[Formalhaut]

Only cigarettes; nothing heavy. However, my dad is one of those staunch disciplinarian types so I didn't dare cross him.

[Jinx]

##VOTE: LIE

And here's why:

1. If you were smoking in the house (or even near) your dad would've smelt it, and you imply it was in the house.
2. I used to smoke weed. Lighters have child locks (unless you take it off) and are extremely difficult to use. Or at least, you're not "pressing on it" and it comes on. Even those super long candle lighters, you must hold down two separate buttons to light it.
3. Formalhaut is really really against drugs/alcohol/etc.


This is a lie.

[Formalhaut]

1. My dad knows that my friend smokes. He didn't know that I smoked however. This is the key misunderstanding. Smelling smoke in and of itself doesn't correlate with me smoking.

2. I don't claim to know all of the answers to this; to be perfectly honest I have no clue how it lighted. Maybe something was faulty?

3. I am now. Bear in mind this was four years ago; alot can change between the rebellious teen years and today. I've seen firsthand what smoking and other drugs can do to people. At the time, I simply didn't know any better.

[Mercen-X]

I followed in the steps of my predecessors inserting truths within the lie. We really did own a skull bank my dad got from a pothead on the side of the road and he really did try to pass it off as a Christmas gift for my ma. However, when we smashed it open to get our savings, we tossed it out. There was no resurrection for the NSH. It's been about six years since the last time we called anything a Nazi Skull Helmet.

[Raistlin]

Unless Bleys cheated and added words to the statement, I'm sticking with my belief that Bleys wouldn't write "literally" in that fashion. I am leaning towards truth.

1. Did you actually see flames on your pants?

2. Where exactly was the lighter itself at this time?

3. What kind of pants were you wearing? (jeans, khakis, etc.)

4. When did you stop smoking, and for what reason?

[Citizen Bleys]

I did not add words to the statement :stare:

All lies were written ahead of time. Some were geared towards a specific person, but those got hard to write so I did some general lies and assigned them randomly, changing spelling and diction as needed to match the nationality of the player. This also took place pregame.

[Formalhaut]

1. By the time I realised that I set my trousers on fire, I could see the smallest hints of fire. Like I was saying, it wasn't like a spontaneous combustion, but there was a tiny flame apparent If me and my friend didn't pat it down quickly it probably would have rooted and grew larger.

2. The lighter was in my hand though I had my hand on the couch. When I was alerted to my Dad's entrance to the house, I used my hand to support myself getting up and getting rid of any evidence. I assume then that when I did this, my thumb or fingers pressed down on the switch part of the lighter and set a part of my trousers on fire. My friend kind of fiddled around with the lighter and made them more blow-torchy and possess a larger flame than usual. Don't ask me how he does it.

3. Fairly certain they were like cotton chinos, at least I think they were cotton. I think I threw them out afterwards as they were a light beige, and flames do tend to leave marks.

4. I cut down my smoking heavily after the accident, and I made sure never to smoke in the house again. I was quite rightly scared senseless and given that my dad would probably kill me if he ever found out that I smoked, I cut down quite severely. A few months later, my dad was diagnosed with an incurable throat cancer (He was an ex-smoker, which probably explains his hatred of it) and well. I don't want to go into much detail about it, but let's just leave it at it really affected my thinking of smoking and other drugs and I cut ties with smoking completely.

[Mercen-X]

Fun fact: Mine was a secondary lie. I realized I couldn't pull off the original (due to my incessant whining about my life contradicting the lie outright) and requested a replacement. There is actually a chance that despite my numerous threads about moi, people still don't know squat about me and I could have pulled it off, but I didn't want to risk my team's point on that gamble.

[Citizen Bleys]

I almost did make you run with it on the grounds that what makes it impossible now may not have always been the case, but to my knowledge one does not contract epilepsy.

[Raistlin]

I thought the possibility of getting an entirely ridiculous or even impossible lie was just part of the game.

Anyway, I think time has expired. I don't have much to add from my previous statements, so I'm just going to say I vote truth.

[Citizen Bleys]

Oh yeah, look at me paying attention; yeah, the timer's long since expired.

EDIT:


I thought the possibility of getting an entirely ridiculous or even impossible lie was just part of the game.

Like Reginald D. Hunter's middle name being "Delicious?" Nah. Keep in mind that the goal of the TV show is to get laughs, and it's most likely scripted to that end. The goal of this game is for everyone to have fun, which doesn't happen if someone gets an impossible statement.

Ridiculous, yes--Mercen-X got ridiculous and the result was funny as hell. Not impossible, though. If I feed someone a statement that's actually impossible based on a fact that's known to EoFF'ers, the statement gets rerolled. (Only the second roll, though, a lie can't be rerolled into a true statement)

[Rantz]

Sorry about my absence. Shorty's staying in my apartment and I have to make sure she doesn't destroy things.

I'm leaning towards truth, too, although I've done that every time so far and been wrong both times.

Sam's point about lighters being hard to light is a moot point - I've never had to unset a child lock on a lighter before using it, although I can sort of see how the adjusting wheel could be used as a child lock of sorts. Still, for me it's always been press-to-light (or the kind with the spark wheel, but I doubt that was used here). Her other points were adequately explained. With that in mind, I'm going to go with Raist and say:

##Vote: Truth

[Citizen Bleys]

It is, in fact,


A LIE

And that's the end of the round! With 2 rounds complete, Team Jiro is in the lead with 2 points, and Rantz is trailing by one.

Round 3 is the Lightning Round, and it works a bit different from Quick-Fire Lies. Each team can earn up to 3 points in this round, but there's only one statement -- mine. There will be no time limit for questions.

In Round 3, not only the captains cast a deciding vote. In fact, in Round 3, it doesn't matter who the captains are. Every player must cast a vote in this round. The round does not end until all 6 players have cast an official vote using captain's tags as shown in the OP. I'll start the round when I get home from work 14 hours from this post. You have up until then to seek any clarification on how this round works -- although EoFF's not blocked from work, so if all 6 player say "go," I can start early.

[Jinx]

S:colbert:OH THAT SAM SO STUPID WHAT IS SHE TALKING ABOUTway to go team way to gogood thing neither of you are lawyersOH WAIT:doublecolbert:

[Formalhaut]

Haha! I fooled ya! That was great work. Seriously, I thought I had no hope with my lie. Literally everything about it was fabricated.

- I have never smoked, ever, and hate everything about it
- I have never had a friend round my house
- I don't actually have a dad. Well, I do, but I've not seen him since like ever.
- I've never owned chinos.

So yeah. I'm well impressed. I outdid myself here!

Edit: Yeah, bad luck Sam, when I saw your post essentially breaking down everything wrong with my lie, my mind went "Oh god I've failed"...

How I brought that back is beyond me.

[Citizen Bleys]

Rule 1 of WILTY?: Don't panic.

Objectively, it's harder to defend against a point if you're telling the truth. If you sell it too well, you lose, but if you look like you're not trying, the other team has to wonder why.

[Formalhaut]

I should be panicking, Sam's like a bloody detective :holmes:

[Citizen Bleys]

The first time I shaved (with an electric razor), I did such a bad job of it that I had to go to school for several days with a mustache made of blood

Go.

EDIT: It was this style: http://bastardly.org/bleys/eoff/electric1.jpg
Not this style: http://www.bastardly.org/bleys/eoff/electric2.jpg

[Jiro]

So we just take a stab in the dark, right? Argh, I want to ask so many questions :exdee: I'll have a think on it and decide in a little while.

[Citizen Bleys]

Ask all the questions you want. There's no deadline. I'll be answering questions until all 6 players have voted, thereby ending the round.

EDIT: Oh yeah and you can change your vote all you want, too.
EDIT2: This seems like a good time to reiterate that PMing is allowed in the rules of the game, so if you want to develop a team strategy without letting the other team in on it, go for it. Remember, I have no win condition for this round, you're playing against the other team.

[Jinx]

How did you cut your face? What did you do to clean up the blood? Did you put little bits of toilet paper on your face? Oh God, I hope you did. Why did it take so long for it to heal? What did you parents say? Why didn't anyone show you how to properly use it?

[Jiro]

How old were you?

[Formalhaut]

1. Was this the first time this happened? Or in other words, was this just one of many other haphazard shaving incidents?

2. What did your peers at school say/heckle?

[Citizen Bleys]

How did you cut your face? What did you do to clean up the blood? Did you put little bits of toilet paper on your face? Oh God, I hope you did. Why did it take so long for it to heal? What did you parents say? Why didn't anyone show you how to properly use it?

*It wasn't really a cut, it was a burn that went deep enough to bleed.
*Damp cloth. It didn't bleed a lot. Less than a usual shaving nick for sure.
*My parents laughed and laughed and laughed.
*My dad tried, but I still pushed to hard and too long.


How old were you?
About 12ish. Maybe 13.


1. Was this the first time this happened? Or in other words, was this just one of many other haphazard shaving incidents?

2. What did your peers at school say/heckle?

1. Well, the OP says verbatim "The first time I shaved", so yeah it was either the first time, or the time before all of the others. I can't think of anything else interesting that has ever happened to me while shaving my face. Head and arse hair, maybe, but that stuff happened way later.

2. The only comment I distinctly remember (this was in the neighborhood of 20 years ago, remember) was "What? You could shave your sack with one of those." There was a lot of general laughter at my expense, though.

[Formalhaut]

I feel like an idiot! I must have overlooked the "first time I shaved" part.

So, how long did it take for the wound to heal, and related to this, how long did it take for the entire incident to blow over with your friends and family?

[Citizen Bleys]

I can't remember how long it took to heal. A week or so, maybe?

As for blowing over, it probably never has. I moved to the opposite side of the country when I turned 18, so my exposure to people who saw me with the bloody 'stache is quite minimal.

EDIT: And bear in mind I live in the second-largest country on Earth, so when I say "moved to the opposite side of the country," I don't mean a three-four hour drive away. I mean ~6-8 hours by plane (depending on layovers, you can't make it all the way in a single flight)

[Jinx]

##Vote: Truth

[Formalhaut]

I can't remember how long it took to heal. A week or so, maybe?

As for blowing over, it probably never has. I moved to the opposite side of the country when I turned 18, so my exposure to people who saw me with the bloody 'stache is quite minimal.

EDIT: And bear in mind I live in the second-largest country on Earth, so when I say "moved to the opposite side of the country," I don't mean a three-four hour drive away. I mean ~6-8 hours by plane (depending on layovers, you can't make it all the way in a single flight)

According to the information, your family seems to have ribbed you the most. Surely you must have seen them during a family get-together? Have they said anything since?

[Citizen Bleys]

I rarely see my family from out west other than when my mother comes down to visit every other year, and even then it's for a very short time. The subject doesn't come up.

[Mercen-X]

##Vote: LIE

I've no doubt that Bleys is simple to an extent. We all are (moreso as tots). But I do doubt this.

[Formalhaut]

Mmm.. I'd wait until Rantz and Raistlin have spoken their words of wisdom on the subject. I'll abstain. For now.

[Raistlin]

Bleys has done far dumber than this, so it's quite believable. But I don't have the usual cues to go off of (i.e., trying to making it sound like a truth or lie), because Bleys doesn't have a clear motive either way, and he also would have written both his own truths and lies. So this is a tough round. But I'm leaning truth, so I'll stick with that.

##Vote: Truth

[Citizen Bleys]

Actually, if I rolled lie, I asked a co-worker or someone other than an EoFF'er to write a lie for me on short notice. Only my true statements were written in advance.

It wouldn't be fair if I were the only one who had advance knowledge of a lie. The other changes to the normal rules weren't so much game-balancers as compensation for the fact that this round has only one statement in it.

[Raistlin]

Oh, well that might actually change my answer.

##Unvote

How long did you press the razor to your upper lip? Was your dad with you? If so, what did he tell you beforehand and while you were shaving?

[Jiro]

Now I have to meta game with Bleys' colleague

[Citizen Bleys]

How long did you press the razor to your upper lip?

Approximately 26.3842168745891576 seconds give or take 10^-18ms. I'm pleased that I still remember this after 20 years.


Was your dad with you? If so, what did he tell you beforehand and while you were shaving?

Before I started he just said "push this against your face," and after that he was too busy laughing to say anything else.



Now I have to meta game with Bleys' colleague

BUT WHICH COLLEAGUE? Especially if I'm telling the truth and there is no third-party involved.

[Jiro]

All of the colleagues are pretty much like you from what you've said so it should be easy.

[Formalhaut]

I'm kind of torn between truth and lie; on one hand I'm thinking:

"No-one can be so bird brained, so infantile, so stupid as to press a razor blade into their soft, supple twelve year skin and scrape up and down like your colouring in a drawing"

But then I'm thinking:

"But then it's a twelve year old Bleys".

And now I am left with a hard choice. I'm tempted with lie because even if I am wrong then oh boy I am going to rib Bleys for this for eternity (Which equals a few days in reality)

[Citizen Bleys]

And now I am left with a hard choice. I'm tempted with lie because even if I am wrong then oh boy I am going to rib Bleys for this for eternity (Which equals a few days in reality)

We all knew what we were getting into when we wrote our true statements :)

[Jiro]

I'm hoping that my true statements won't ever see the light of day ;)

[Rantz]

##Vote: Lie

[Formalhaut]

Damn it Rantz you didn't add anything at all! Now I'm going to have to think for myself and here no-one's analysis. Oh well.. :)

[Raistlin]

I'm torn. I was thinking it was a truth just because I didn't think Bleys would write a lie like that, but considering some random third party would have written the lie, that throws out that theory.

But I'm still leaning truth, if only because Rantz is usually wrong. :p

##Vote: Truth

[Citizen Bleys]

Vote count update (mostly for my convenience, since a new page has been started)

TB: ##Truth
MX: ##Lie
Rantz: ##Lie
Raist: ##Truth

Not Voting: Formalhaut, Jiro

Team Rantz: 2/3 Truth
Team Jiro: 1/3 Lie

[Formalhaut]

I am leaning to truth here. If someone put a gun to my head I would say truth but thankfully I'm not in an episode of 24 so I'll wait till Jiro has decided.

[Jinx]

Way to be assertive, Formalhaut. xD

[Citizen Bleys]

Damn it Rantz you didn't add anything at all! Now I'm going to have to think for myself and here no-one's analysis. Oh well.. :)

Actually, it's an eminently sensible move on Rantz's part -- by voting opposite his team, he's guaranteeing that Team Rantz gains at least one point this game, which precludes Team Jiro from getting a 4 point lead and ending the game early. Worst case scenario for Team Rantz is that I'm lying and all 3 members of Team Jiro pick lie, which results in a 3 point lead--thus Rantz can go for perfect play in Rounds 4 and 5 and win in Sudden Death. If I'm telling the truth, it's still anyone's game.

It looks like at least one team did opt for a team strategy :)

[Jinx]

Damn it Rantz you didn't add anything at all! Now I'm going to have to think for myself and here no-one's analysis. Oh well.. :)

Actually, it's an eminently sensible move on Rantz's part -- by voting opposite his team, he's guaranteeing that Team Rantz gains at least one point this game, which precludes Team Jiro from getting a 4 point lead and ending the game early. Worst case scenario for Team Rantz is that I'm lying and all 3 members of Team Jiro pick lie, which results in a 3 point lead--thus Rantz can go for perfect play in Rounds 4 and 5 and win in Sudden Death. If I'm telling the truth, it's still anyone's game.

It looks like at least one team did opt for a team strategy :)

Dude. What kind of MC TELLS the other team about the first teams strategy.

That's kind of fucked up.

[Mercen-X]

If someone put a gun to my head I would

Gun - Head

[Formalhaut]

Way to be assertive, Formalhaut. xD

I know I'm terrible! I'm so indecisive. Good thing I'm not the team captain. :yuck:

[Rantz]

But I'm still leaning truth, if only because Rantz is usually wrong. :p

"Usually"? I've not been right once thus far and I would thank you to recognise it. :cool:

[Jiro]

Formalhaut I suggest you vote Truth, go with your gut. Thankfully my reasoning for why to do such a thing has already been explained. Thanks for the strategy brief so I don't need to, team!

##Lie

[Mercen-X]

we're all gonna die

[Formalhaut]

Eh, I'll go with it. Probably wrong though, as I so often am:

#VOTE: Truth

[Mercen-X]

You've damned us all!

[Jiro]

Could be worse, cheer up.

[Citizen Bleys]

Team Rantz: 2/3 Truth
Team Jiro: 2/3 Lie

My Bloodstache is...


TRUE

Which brings the game to a 3/3 tie going into Round 4. Exciting!

I was going to put the team with the most points in the hotseat for Round 4 to give the trailing team a chance to catch up, but since there's a tie, the team and player in the hotseat will be selected at random. And the hotseat goes to...Jiro!

PM going out momentarily.

[Jiro]

Thank fuck for Formalhaut :monster:

[Jiro]

So I'm in the hotseat! Here we go lads and lasses:


The only time I have broken a bone was a result of tripping on the edge of a mattress and breaking my toe.

[Jinx]

What were you doing? How exactly did you trip on the edge of the mattress? Which toe did you break? What did you do after you broke it?

[Formalhaut]

Oh my I was right! Thank god I chose my gut on that one. I knew it had a ring of truth. :D

[Jinx]

ITT: Sam is an absolute beast at this game.

[Formalhaut]

I should be panicking, Sam's like a bloody detective :holmes:

I've realised that Sam! :p

[Rantz]

What kind of mattress? Can you describe the situation in more detail (in case Sam's questions don't cover it)?

[Citizen Bleys]

By the way, I'm officially out of ideas for thread titles, which is why it hasn't clicked over from Round 3, so if anyone has any suggestions....

[Mercen-X]

Jiro's Jazz? Jiro's Jive? Jiro's Cheero?

[Formalhaut]

Jiro's Jazz? Jiro's Jive? Jiro's Cheero?

Jiro's Jig? Jiro's Jip? Jiro's Jiramazing Lie?

Sheesh, this naming business is difficult. Their all terrible!

[Jinx]

Jiro's Jank Ass Shit

or better yet

Jiro's Not Coming Back, Game Over, Everyone Go Home

[Formalhaut]

Jiro's Jank Ass trout

or better yet

Jiro's Not Coming Back, Game Over, Everyone Go Home

Aww don't say that Sam! I love Jiro, he'll be back. Though his sudden departure does strike me as very odd. Suffice to say, I'm concerned. :(

[Mercen-X]

JIRO'S JAH-RIGHT!

[Citizen Bleys]

I was thinking that given rounds 1-2 were synonyms of lies, 3-4 could by synonymous with truth. I just couldn't think of anything good.

[Jiro]

I like Mercen-X's suggestion best. As for an explanation; I was scrapping with my brother and it got pretty physical. I tried a high kick to the chest and as I took a step I kicked the bottom of the mattress. Can't remember if it was three impact of hitting the mattress or the subsequent fall but I cracked my second toe. Broke in two places. After that I just strapped it up to my big toe and went about my business; naught else I could do.

[Jinx]

Did you tell your mom? What did your brother do? Did you share a room? Did it heal right? What does it look like now?

[Jiro]

I didn't tell her why I tripped but the half story was enough. We didn't share a room and our fights were pretty frequent anyway. It all blew over quick. I don't know if it healed right, my toes are already spastic. I can walk at least, out doesn't give me any lingering pain.

[Jinx]

How old were you? What were you fighting over?

[Jiro]

I have no idea how old I was. Thirteen? We just fought, for fun, over nothing. We were boys.

[Jiro]

PS "Would I Lie To You?" was on the telly last night so I'm now a bona fide expert at this game.

[Citizen Bleys]

I've literally watched every episode ever televised in the UK and I'm still a pretty shit host :(

I blame the fact that we're in an experimental stage and predict future hosts will do a much better job.

[Jiro]

I think it's pretty friggin' great. I'm still here, just for this. If it were shit you'd be down a player right now, so take pride in yourself!

[Jinx]

##Vote: Truth

This just sounds like a very Jiro thing to me.

[Jiro]

Everything's a very Jiro thing to you :monster:

[Jinx]

Everything's a very Jiro thing to you :monster:

I wish everything was a Jiro thing for me. :smug:

[Mercen-X]

Jiro's Justification

[Formalhaut]

I've literally watched every episode ever televised in the UK and I'm still a pretty trout host :(

I blame the fact that we're in an experimental stage and predict future hosts will do a much better job.

For a first run, your doing brilliant. Don't do a Formalhaut and doubt yourself in literally every post! Your doing a great job Bleys! :D

[Raistlin]

It's a little tough to judge because recent events may have influenced Jiro's level of enthusiasm for this game, but I thought from the original statement that this one was true, and nothing Jiro has said since has changed that. I also vote truth.

[Rantz]

I feel about the same. Let's go with that then.

##Vote: Truth

[Mercen-X]

Can't remember if it was three impact of hitting the mattress.. cracked my second toe. Broke in two places. I know I can't vote (be voting against my own team) and I probably shouldn't even mention it. But merely due this, I declare this a lie. :p

[Citizen Bleys]

And the big reveal...

It is


TRUE

Next up will be Formalhaut once I run the numbers.

I think for the thread title we'll just title it according to the defending team instead of a new one for each phase.

[Formalhaut]

Well done opposing team!

[Formalhaut]

Double-posting, sure, but you know.. here's my next statement!



I got pulled over by the same cop 3 times in the same day. My cousin, in the back seat, was carrying large amounts of marijuana.


This time, I think I'll just let people ask questions rather than me have a long-ass paragraph.


So Bleys, given Jiro's departure, who is now the captain of his team? Or will Jiro remain on EoFF only as long as he is needed in this game?