Let's Play Police Quest: In Pursuit of the Death Angel

[Citizen Bleys]

http://www.bleysmaynard.net/eoff/pq/1/splash.jpg

I don't know if anyone remembers this game, but it was a part of my growing up. I think PQII was the first video game I ever played, on a Tandy 1000 with one of those weird 2-button joysticks that you use with 2 fingers. Police Quest was one of Sierra On-Line's famous "Quest" series that defined the adventure game genre, where you take the role of a city cop and have to follow actual police procedure to win. I really like this game, but I'm going to be hard on it in this playthrough because...it wouldn't be funny if I wasn't.

Our scene is set in the fictional town of Lytton, CA, which is laid out in a perfect rectangle because that totally happens in real life. Nothing bad ever happens in Lytton, but when it does, it's because of DRUGS.

I must not do DRUGS.
DRUGS are the mind-killer.
DRUGS are the little-death that brings total obliteration.
I will face DRUGS.
I will permit it to pass over me and through me. (but without doing DRUGS of course, because DRUGS are bad)
And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path.
Where the DRUGS have gone there will be nothing.
Only I will remain.

In Lytton there is no fear, no death (except where caused by DRUGS), and everyone gets along with one another, gets married, has a house with a white picket fence, two children, and a dog that doesn't bite. There is no unemployment, sufficient government funding for all public services, and no-one gets sick or old. Every kid (who doesn't get involved with DRUGS) makes straight As and goes on to an ivy league school, and then on to their dream career.

You are Sonny Bonds. For some reason, your dream career involves writing speeding tickets and drinking bad coffee at the only coffee shop in the city. After all, who would even want Ron Jeremy's career? As an added incentive to join the fast-paced and exciting field of police work, the penalty for failure to follow police procedure to the letter in this game is DEATH. Stop for a beer while on duty? DEATH. Make a mistake writing a ticket? DEATH. Run a stop sign? DEATH.

I've chosen to use the VGA remake of Police Quest for this walkthrough; I prefer the original, but the driving part is almost impossible on a modern computer. When I first played it with one of those two-finger joysticks it was doable, but the keyboard is too clunky, the mouse doesn't work, a modern-day flightstick doesn't cut it, and I don't have a goddamn time machine to go back and get the kind of two-finger joystick that makes driving in PQ possible.



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Lytton PD. You chose this

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Meet Morris Fudley. The first time I met Fudley, in 1986, he was in that shower stall. I don't know how long he'd been in there. I have never seen Fudley anywhere but in that shower stall, and I've never seen that shower stall without Fudley in it.

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Oh for smurf's sake. Why don't I have my gun with me?


Time to get my trout out of my locker.



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Sierra loves to do this. The combination is in the manual. They figured that software pirates are smart enough to copy the game, but not smart enough to write down a 3-digit number on the label. Or put it in a text file with the game. Or, in this day and age, use Google. (Google didn't exist when this game came out)

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I didn't skip the shower in this playthrough. I just didn't screencap it because nobody cares. Now I've got my nightstick and gun and trout. Hey, waitaminute, I have my gun!

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Yep, there it is, gunny gun gun

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Note: Sonny lives alone

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Dammit.

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This is Sgt. Dooley, my boss. He is a very nice man.


Off to the briefing room to check my pigeonhole for messages.



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Why the hell would anyone write 11-98 instead of, y'know, coffee? Like a sane person would?


I guess I'll read the paper while I wait for the other tardy-ass cops to show up for briefing.



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The mall and the arcade, really? I know this game was written before the internet, but even when I was a teenager, nobody hung around at a mall unless they were there to buy something. When I wanted to spend time with my friends, I bloody well invited them over.

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We suspect, apropos of nothing, that this was drug related. Oh, wait, I forgot. This is Lytton. Everything bad that happens in Lytton is because of DRUGS. It's actually pretty amazing that the cops keep the streets so clean given the number of police fatalities caused by not walking around a patrol car in a circle before getting in. The penalty for failure to do so, as we've covered, is DEATH.


After the briefing, let's explore the police station, shall we?



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I wonder where this elevator goes?


Turns out it goes to the Narcotics Department, which is surprisingly small since everything bad that happens in Lytton is drug-related. You'd think the whole police station would be the Narcotics Department.



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This is Lt. Morgan, in charge of Narcotics and therefore the ruler of the police force. Does he seem a bit rude to you? That seems quite rude to me.

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This game doesn't let me have any fun

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Meet Laura Watts, Narcotics Detective

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Might as well have talked to a WALL

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Oh, yes it is

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Because let's face it, in Lytton, if you're not in Narcotics, you're not really a cop.

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As alluded to earlier, if I hadn't walked around my patrol car and got this message before getting in, I would have exploded.


Since nothing plot-related has actually happened, the proper thing for any uniformed cop to do is drive around aimlessly until something does. Sure enough, the radio crackles with a report of a motor vehicle accident. I arrive on the scene, and the car is a total write-off. Oh yeah and the driver has two bullet holes in his head.



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And I see it a lot. Just this morning Officer Davis's pen ran out of ink while he was writing a ticket and the earth opened up below him and swallowed him whole. Yesterday Officer Willis forgot his keys and hundreds of cobras came out of nowhere and bit the hell out of him.

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I'm not sure why a witness was written into the game here. The driver has two bullet holes in his head. I'm pretty sure it doesn't take Sherlock Holmes to work out that he was shot while driving.

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Hey hey! Ho ho! One zero zero zero one ze-ro!


Next, it's off to Caffeine Carol's for an 11-98 with Steve. Oh bloody hell I just did it too. I think this is the only cop game I've ever played where you're required to go on break. If I keep driving around instead of going on break, the dispatcher keeps coming on the radio and reminding me that I have to go on break. I'm not sure what happens if I continually ignore the dispatcher, but I'm pretty sure it's death. It made for a thrill-filled ride as I had to circle the block about six times before I finally figured out how to stop driving. I'm pretty sure the seventh time would have caused scorpions to swarm out of my glove compartment.



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Does anybody actually talk like that?

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It's CSI trout, man. You wouldn't understand.


snip boring smalltalk



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I'm guessing fried is a subtle clue

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Now everyone reading this identifies with Sonny just a bit more. Some backstory: The Gremlin is a prank artist who is constantly targeting Sgt. Dooley. Nobody knows who she is. Well, I do, as evinced by the fact that I know which pronoun to use. You find out in PQII.

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Need to get ahold of a cop by phone? Call the coffee shop.

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Hey Lt. Hamilton. Thanks for letting me know that the guy with a bullet hole in the middle of his forehead was killed by a gunshot wound to the head. I was wondering about that. Now that you mention it, I do have some pertinent information: An object at rest tends to remain at rest while an object in motion tends to remain in motion, unless acted on by an outside force.


This looks like a good enough place to leave off for today. I played ahead a bit more, but the only thing that happened was a routine traffic stop of a woman who ran a stop sign while speeding. I didn't screenshot any of it because it would bore you. It didn't bore me because the result of any minor infraction would have been instant death. Just to give you an idea, here is what happens when you run a stop sign:



http://www.bleysmaynard.net/eoff/pq/1/038.jpg

[Del Murder]

I loved the PQ series. I also remember the original game with the incredibly difficult driving mechanics. I had to go like 10 mph the whole time or else I'd crash.

Can't wait to see you continue this playthrough! A possible thread of the year candidate here.

[Citizen Bleys]

Seconds after the traffic stop, Caffeine Carol calls in a complaint. For such a nice old lady to be calling the police, surely it's something serious.



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Hey, cool, motorbikes. Surely this can't have anything to do with the complaint...

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Everything is looking normal. Better find out what's up.

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Uh, they weren't here 5 minutes ago when I was here on break.

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Well, no laws have been broken here at all, but since it's you asking, I'm sure I can harass a few people for the HEINOUS CRIME of...uh, owning a motorcycle. Surely only rapists, thieves, and murderers purchace motorcycles.

http://www.bleysmaynard.net/eoff/pq/2/005.jpg
Yes, I must protect decent, hardworking non-motorcycle-owners from the forces of Darkness at once!


Well, it's off to the bar next door to chastise some people who have done absolutely nothing even remotely wrong. But before I do, I'd best make sure I'm ready.



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Yep, I do have a weapon. Good thing too because all people who ride motorcycles (http://groups.yahoo.com/group/dharmabums/) are incredibly violent, unsavoury individuals

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POLICE BRUTALITY TIME!


Sidenote: Correct police procedure here in Canada is not "Strike first, strike hard." RCMP officers are prohibited from using weapons against someone who has not displayed any aggression. Apparently it's different in the US. If you don't strike first, you die.

Meanwhile, there's a familiar face in the bar--a prostitute that I went to high school with! I should go talk to her. That won't be awkward at all



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Yeah, I should definitely go talk to her.

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Do people in Lytton ever talk about subjects other than drugs?

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Oh yeah, and he's a red mage. That might make him easier to pick out of a crowd.

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Because when you're talking to a prostitute that you're sweet on, the best subject of conversation is the frightening people who have paid her for sexual favours

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Well yeah, aren't all red mages sharp dressers?

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Why in the hell was he talking about Bains during coitus?

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Maybe he shut right up because he realised it was a ludicrous thing to talk about in the middle of the horizontal polka.

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I must have missed the part of the police procedure manual that tells you that you should let a known prostitute know about an upcoming prostitution sting.

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Yes indeed I did. I suggested it with VIOLENCE!

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Are...are we the baddies?


Out to patrol again. Unlike real cops who sometimes drive around for weeks without seeing any crimes, it takes approximately 30 seconds before...



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If I had to slam on the brakes to avoid hitting someone going 5 MPH below the posted speed limit, who is it who's DUI?

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Better watch closely, this guy's a speed demon

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"Well, I drive drunk all the time and don't want the cops to clue in...Let me see...what should I get on my vanity plates? Sure, BSOTD1 sounds like a great idea

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"It wasna me, occifer, it was the one-armed man!"

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Guns and alcohol, together at last

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You really need to conduct a sobriety test on a guy who says "oshifer" and has a vanity plate that says BSOTD1?

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Yeah, and I was expecting the smurfing nutcracker prince

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Time to crack open the tools of the trade..

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This part might actually be confusing to real cops from any country other than the USA, since they're allowed to cuff nonviolent offenders in the front

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Or I will die!

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You can tell this game was made in the 80s by the use of the word "upchuck"



I book Mr. Barnum and am summoned back to the office to face Sgt. Dooley. I wonder what it could be about?




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Boy, I sure do hope Dooley's in a good mood

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Well crap.

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Oh, it's just an incontinent chicken. Dooley's in a better mood than usual after all.

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It always looks like that. Well, minus the incontinent chicken.

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Like, say, the incontinent chicken's neck?


Well, looks like I'm off duty, so time to change into my civilian duds and head to the local cop bar, The Blue Room, where everyone will be gathering



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Ah, nice and clean!

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Sure don't!


Note: The game will not actually allow me to leave the police station wearing only a towel.

Meanwhile, at the Blue Room:



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...Probably because he's related to Shorty.

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Maybe if I ignore the problem, it'll go away

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Considering that everything bad in Lytton is because of drugs, it's actually pretty easy to believe.

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Uh, because she's a teenager?

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And only DRUGS can cause that!

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Boy, Jack is taking it hard. I sure hope nobody comes in all super-cheerful when he's feeling this bad and makes it worse.

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Keith, you asshole.

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Keith, you asshole!

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Well, at least that's over with once and for all and nothing will happen to make Jack feel even worse.

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Are you serious? A stripper? NOW? KEITH, YOU ASSHOLE!

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In the original EGA PQ, she gets topless and rubs her jubblies in Jack's face

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Have I mentioned that Keith is an asshole?


So I jam it back to the station and get into the briefing only a little bit late.



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Hey wow, a report of a crime without any mention of drugs?

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I knew it was too good to last


Time to hit the streets again.

[Futan]

Red Mage Coffman needs to be renamed Death Angel Coffman. :p

[Citizen Bleys]

This being video game world, minutes after I hit the street, the very car mentioned in Dooley's briefing is spotted and Dispatch sends me after it.



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I remember maroon looking different

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Seem jumpy? This is actually correct police procedure. This is a felony stop

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That's Jack, by the way. Apparently it's OK to respond to calls where gunplay is a distinct possibility immediately after returning from the bar.



I draw my gun and shout for the driver to get out, and he starts coming towards me. If I let this happen, I die. I have to shout at him again.




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Actually, he was in a car. Cars are great for leaving places where you are and going to other places instead.

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You just used a sentence fragment.

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In what galaxy does that actually work? *scratches off paint*

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Of course it is. We were talking about it six minutes ago in the police station. There are no other cars on the road in the entire city of Lytton.



Time to check the glove compartment.




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A notebook! What felonious scum!


Wait a minute, it's just a list of names...and they're all people who have died under mysterious circumstances recently. HOLY trout IT'S KIRA.

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Hmm...2 driver's licenses...same picture...different names...Wait, Hoffman? Could this be Marie's Red Mage?


As long as I'm doing a vehicular search without a warrant, I guess I should pop the trunk and see if this guy is smart enough to carry a spare tire. Hey, maybe there'll be some groceries in there I can steal.



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Or, alternatively, a metric smurfton of drugs


Off to jail to book Red Mage Hoffman.



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This is important. If I forget to put my gun in the locker before entering the jail, Hoffman shoots me with it and I can do nothing to stop him, because apparently he's Bruce freaking Lee.

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Apparently, the maximum legal penalty for grand theft auto, possession of a concealed weapon, resisting arrest, possession of a smurfton of drugs, and possession of the freaking Death Note is 15 minutes. Whereas the minimum legal penalty for a cop who fails to wash his hands after using the toilet is death.



I'm summoned back to Dooley after booking Hoffman. Man, that guy really has it in for me.



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In Lytton, spraying a piece of paper with mace immediately transfers the mace directly into the eyes of anyone who touches it

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Choke on it? Apparently, in Lytton, "read" is also synonymous with "eat."

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SWEET! Promoted! Dooley isn't my boss anymore!



Off to Narcotics to become a real cop.



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Less rude this time. Perhaps I shall refrain from attempting to shoot him in the head. He sends me to the only other room on the floor to meet my new partner, Laura Watts

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A tour of the office. Every part of which is clearly visible from where I stand

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"We don't have enough evidence. Maybe we'll luck out and more evidence will magically drop into our laps"

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Our callsign was assigned by Snow Villieres.

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And the loaded firearm I found on his person was already there when he "borrowed" those pants



I head off to evidence and have a look at the gun Hoffman had on him, and use the computer to run its serial number.



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Naturally, if you purchase a firearm, the FBI opens a file on you. In the United States.

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"For no reason given, Taselli is on the FBI's Top Ten Most Wanted list



Off to the courthouse to acquire a No Bail Warrant on Taselli/Hoffman.




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In Lytton, this is enough to interrupt a court case in progress

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The FBI file doesn't mention drugs, or any other offence for that matter. Since the FBI's jurisdiction is not limited to Lytton, they may occasionally deal with crimes that are not drug-related.

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I heard this from a known prostitute. It must be true.

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Uh...why?

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The evidence that "supports my theory" was just the Hoffman file. In the EGA version, you have to hand over the FBI list showing Taselli. In the VGA remake, all you have to do to get a No Bail Warrant on someone is present a dossier comprised entirely of data that the judge already knows.

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Just in the nick of time!



After returning to the station, Laura says she got an anonymous tip about a drug deal going down at Bert's Park. Because of course people who are planning to buy drugs don't just call their dealer and show up at the dealer's house, they plan meticulously in advance and tell all kinds of people so that the police can be advised of the deal in advance.



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Yes. How many electrons are there in a tungsten atom?


Picking up next time at the Bert's Park drug deal.

[Vincent, Thunder God]

They did this on the Double Fine Game Club recently, is that where you got the idea?

[Citizen Bleys]

Never even heard of him/her/it/them.

[Vincent, Thunder God]

Hey cool man, I guess you dudes were thinking on the same wavelength or something. Here's the thread - Double Fine (http://www.doublefine.com/forums/viewthread/8322/)

[Citizen Bleys]

Delay: I got my screencaps, but I didn't have enough time to write any jokes yet. This next bit will be tricky, because I seem to recall that the next part actually happened to Jim Walls, so I prefer to err on the side of, y'know, not being a massive dick to the guy who wrote a game that brought a lot of joy into my childhood, even if it's less funny as a direct result.

[Citizen Bleys]

In our last episode, we left off responding to an anonymous tip about a drug deal going down in Bert Park. Awfully nice of our dealer to select a location with ample foliage for cops to hide in.



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I'll colour it later, when I'm not in the middle of a stakeout

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I've actually never met a dealer who was this rude. Perhaps the drug market is more competitive in Canada

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Awful timid for a coke fiend

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Rule #1 when attempting to sell anything: Belittle and threaten your customers.



I burst out of the bushes and shout halt. The dealer runs away. I keep my gun firmly aimed at Bambi as he is definitely the one I consider most likely to have a gun of his own and a snarling hatred of cops.



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Protip: If you ever think you're going to be shot at, say "Don't shoot." It never fails. That's how me grampy survived WWII. He came out of the trenches, guns blazing, calling out "Don't shoot" so the Nazis couldn't shoot back.

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I'm not going to do it now, but from this day on, any time you leave the house to go to school, go play, see a friend, to buy a smurfin' comic book, you're gonna have to ask yourself: Is today... Jimmy Shaker day?

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I love how I never have to book any evidence myself. When I busted Taselli, I made Jack do it, today I'm making Laura do it. It's good to have lackeys.



I head back to the car with Simms to find that Watts has apprehended the dealer, one Don Colby, whose life I will have to try and fail to save in PQII.




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Good save, Watts...on.

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http://www.fallacyfiles.org/loadques.html


*snip Colby's bluster*
I ask Bambi if he's always bought from Colby.



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Holy crap, this guy uses the same source as Jack's kid...and hey wait a minute, isn't Martinez connected to Taselli?

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Good job uttering death threats -- a federal offence -- in front of two cops.

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If "barfbag" is the best insult Watts can come up with, I just lost all respect for her. Repeat after me, Watts: "Cum-guzzling thunder:bou::bou::bou::bou:"


I absolutely must tell Jack we busted his daughter's dealer at once. But where can I find him?



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Where else? The only time Jack appears anywhere *but* the Blue Room is during the Taselli bust. Kathy may or may not be a coke fiend, but Jack is a definite alcoholic. Perhaps Kathy turned to coke because of all of the savage beatings.

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http://www.bleysmaynard.net/eoff/pq/4/017.jpg
Uh-oh.

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http://www.bleysmaynard.net/eoff/pq/4/019.jpg
Now do you see why I was having trouble coming up with jokes?

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Crap. Not Keith again.

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Just once, Keith, you're going to say something that doesn't make me hate you. And then Armageddon will commence.

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What? How is this my fault?


*insert segue to the police station here* because I'm sick of writing blurbs that start with "Off to $placeName"




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No, he just sent Keith to get me so that I wouldn't be able to get any actual work done.

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I actually did all of this when I was putting together my case for a No Bail Warrant. Taselli's FBI poster is in my pocket. If I just leave and walk back in again, though, Morgan yells at me, so I have to go and look at Taselli's Death Note and gun one more time, note that absolutely nothing has changed, and return to Morgan


thirteen seconds later



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What is her home phone number?

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I know her, but I don't....know her. Unlike every other man in Lytton who isn't a cop

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Wait, I warned her and she still got snapped up in Trick Trap? Screw her then, she's dead to me. (note: Sweet Cheeks is Sonny's future wife)

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There are people playing cards in a hotel. Surely this is drug related.

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Yes. If A is a linear transformation, a non-null vector x is an eigenvector of A if there is a scalar λ such that Ax = λx. The scalar λ is said to be a what of A corresponding to the eigenvector x?

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You didn't answer my question!



Later, at the jail...



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Not a dominatrix. Duly noted.

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Why yes, there is. I can do many things. This is because I am not in jail due to my own unalloyed idiocy.

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Sure, I might as well release classified information regarding undercover operations to a prisoner.

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You know, the guy you told me was "Coffman."

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"Sounds incredibly dangerous, Sonny. Count me in." Marie is not very smart.


Well, that's done. You know what the best thing about being a detective is? Not getting bossed around by a dispatcher every time I drive a half a block. I can actually get work done now.



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Dammit.


Hey wait a minute, I'm not 83-32 anymore, I'm 83-NORA-10. Remember, in Narcotics, you're not just a number. You're two numbers and someone else's name in all caps.



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I was not aware we were in a corpse-finding competition. Perhaps I should spend more time at the police station and wait for cops to use erroneous grammar.

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I'm no detective (well, technically I am), but I'd say he died. That is what happened to him. Death happened.

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So much for Taselli being the Death Angel. It's pretty obvious the real Death Angel iced him so he couldn't give the cops any more information


Next update, we go undercover in the Hotel Delphoria. PQ is a pretty short game, so that'll probably be the last update. Due to time constraints, next update will probably be Sunday.

[Citizen Bleys]

...Or Saturday. Not working today due to excrement weather.



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You believe I've been introduced to a high school classmate and my partner? Skeptical much?

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Sounds like a normal trout Faced Sunday to me

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Uh...why is "private" in quotes? I'm scared.

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You don't have to call me "Whitey" in the police station, arsehole.

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Is this some honky caper to keep black power from taking over the state senate? (http://cinemademerde.com/Detroit_9000.shtml)

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No. The reason for this is that it makes no sense.

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She will be shot.

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Killjoy.

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How about instead of being called Whitey, I can be called Larry...Larry Laffer

http://www.bleysmaynard.net/eoff/pq/5/010.jpg
Time to quit my extremely dangrous police job and go looking for love in all of the wrong places in the land of the lounge lizards


Later, at the Hotel Delphoria



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The normal rate for people who don't know Marie is $75.01 per night

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This is not how real people talk, Marie.

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*porno music plays*


Marie departs so I can get to know the bartender better. Apparently nobody else in the bar speaks or orders drinks, so we can converse uninterrupted. After Alex asks what I do for a living...



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Slammer, really? Also, do ex-cons ever actually use the word "embezzlement"?

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At this point, I have had two drinks.

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BDSM. Hence the handcuffs. They have nothing to do with being a cop.

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And the Academy Award goes to....wait, what do you mean "cancelled?"

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Bingo!


Having easily secured an invitation to the card game, I head up to my hotel room, heavily insinuating that I'm about to bang Marie. (My exact words were "tripping the light fantastic" but sadly I clicked over it to fast and didn't get a screenshot of that delightful turn of phrase)



http://www.bleysmaynard.net/eoff/pq/5/019.jpg
Uh, the department? I thought you were!


After waiting 90 seconds (long enough to "trip the light fantastic," apparently...if you're Sonny Bonds), I call Marie a cab and she leaves.

What to do now...Hmm, in the middle of an undercover operation, targeting armed and dangerous career criminals, with no weapon...I know! I'll call the police station from the hotel phone!



http://www.bleysmaynard.net/eoff/pq/5/020.jpg
By the way, do you know what an undercover officer's cover being blown sounds like? IT SOUNDS LIKE THIS.


Later, at the game...



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"Not that we don't trust you, but we search everyone who is on the phone with the police just before the game."

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http://www.bleysmaynard.net/eoff/pq/5/023.jpg
These people do not matter in any way


In the EGA version, you actually had to win the poker game, but in this version it asks if you want to play poker and gives the option "No, but win anyway." I wish I had this option in real life. I did not cheat, but neither did I take screenshots of the poker game. I assume all of you know what a game of 5 card draw poker looks like.

After the game:



http://www.bleysmaynard.net/eoff/pq/5/024.jpg
Are you inviting me to have sex? It sounds like you're inviting me to have sex.


I head back to my hotel room, and just in case my cover hasn't already been blown, I telephone Lt. Morgan.



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Right. A "second poker game."

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In other words, hold my hand...In other words, baby kiss me


So apparently now the plan is to have several cops visit my hotel room in broad daylight just in case the bad guys missed the phone calls where I've been using real names and ranks with high-ranking police officers.



http://www.bleysmaynard.net/eoff/pq/5/027.jpg
Uh...yeah, "Detective Bonds" is just a nickname I picked up in the slammer. That's me, Whitey "Detective Bonds" Banksten. I'm not a cop, honest.

http://www.bleysmaynard.net/eoff/pq/5/028.jpg
Hey, can you call me "Detective Bonds" a few more times? I think there might be a janitor somewhere who didn't hear you blowing my cover. Asshole.


Back to the "second poker game," which turns out to be...er, a second poker game. I used the cheat button this time.



http://www.bleysmaynard.net/eoff/pq/5/029.jpg
Yes, I smoothly pressed the cheat button.


I follow Frank up to his hotel room. Clearly, he paid the $75.01 rate.



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"Well, I didn't know at first if you could be trusted, but since you know the rules of five card draw poker, surely you must be alright."

http://www.bleysmaynard.net/eoff/pq/5/031.jpg
The colour change in the background is to show you that Bains stopped talking like a normal human and began using his Devil Voice.

http://www.bleysmaynard.net/eoff/pq/5/032.jpg
Which in no way indicates that you're an utter and complete failure at flying under the radar so that the cops don't nail you

http://www.bleysmaynard.net/eoff/pq/5/033.jpg
"You may have noticed the extent of my crime empire based solely on the fact that I play the game of poker."


Conveniently, the phone rings, giving me an opportunity to look around Bains' apartment unobserved.



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It's a good thing this telephone was here, since I was incapable of reading the room number off of the door when we walked in

http://www.bleysmaynard.net/eoff/pq/5/035.jpg
Yes, a murderous crime lord is in the next room and I am unarmed. This is the perfect time to speak obvious police lingo out loud into my transmitter pen, as surely Bains has never seen a James Bond movie and thus could not possibly infer that a radio could be concealed in something which does not look like a radio.


Apparently, my request for backup was relayed to the Starship Enterprise, because within instants, three cops armed with rifles miraculously materialise inside the apartment with no key, and without making enough noise that Bains interrupts his phone call to investigate why his door is being broken down.



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Oh hey, three guys with rifles pointed at me. One moment while I deliver a Hannibal speech to my good friend Mr. Banksten.

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Assuming, of course, that my Devil Voice prevents those three men with rifles from opening fire. (Of course, two are behind a couch, so it's possible Bains didn't see them, but what about the guy crouching behind the glass table?)

http://www.bleysmaynard.net/eoff/pq/5/038.jpg
Fill my heart with song and let me sing forevermore, you are all I long for, all I worship and adore~



The firefight happened too fast for me to screencap. Predictably, the three cops with rifles already aimed at Bains shot before he could draw his concealed pistol.



http://www.bleysmaynard.net/eoff/pq/5/039.jpg
Yes. I got him. The three cops with rifles had nothing to do with it. They were just there for moral support

http://www.bleysmaynard.net/eoff/pq/5/040.jpg
Of course, he has to survive the firefight or there'd be no villain for PQII

http://www.bleysmaynard.net/eoff/pq/5/041.jpg
Call for four more ambulances! We're alive too!

http://www.bleysmaynard.net/eoff/pq/5/042.jpg
Indeed, I and I alone have done it. If the armed cops hadn't been there, I would have simply dodged every bullet Bains fired because, you see, I am...THE ONE.


Later...



http://www.bleysmaynard.net/eoff/pq/5/043.jpg
This game doesn't have a THE END animation, so this will have to do. Also: Only in Lytton does the mayor hold a press conference every time a drug dealer is arrested in a hotel.

Any interest in one of these for PQII? I always thought PQII was a better game.

[Futan]

I'm interested. :D

[Quindiana Jones]

Yeeeeeees...

YEEEEEEEES....

MOOOOOOOOORE......

[Del Murder]

Please do PQ2. Like you I think it is the better game.

I like it when you do these walkthroughs.