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Formalhaut
04-24-2013, 10:05 PM
http://i.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/quickfix/6/1/5/178615.jpg?v=1

So I was browsing a comedy website earlier today (http://www.cracked.com/quick-fixes/the-new-sex-toy-that-trying-to-ruin-foreplay-forever/) and came across something so funny, so inane, so different that I just had to share it with you guys.

Foreplay in the bedroom is just a given, and I'm not going to get into details as that would gross out our poor children of the forum (I'm very much aware that I am probably among the youngest here, but I digress) but this latest 'innovation' from Durex is just bizarre.

Known as fundawea (http://techcrunch.com/2013/04/18/durexs-new-long-distance-sexy-time-fundawear-is-exactly-that/)r, what it basically does is you wear the aforementioned fundawear, which is just underwear (who knew?) and is controlled by a smartphone app, and when a button is touched, it vibrates, which obviously can give pleasure.

Durex even gave a demonstrational video (this video has been removed due to forum controversy) as well, in case you're still racking your brains over it. Nothing's shown obviously, but your co-workers might be wondering why there are sounds of a man and woman giggling and writhing around coming from your work computer.

In case you have allergies to moving pictures, here's a screen cap from the comedy website article:


http://i.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/quickfix/6/1/8/178618_v1.jpg

http://tctechcrunch2011.files.wordpress.com/2013/04/screen-shot-2013-04-18-at-6-27-55-pm.png?w=300



That guy there can stimulate her underwear by just swiping across it, as shown in the screencap. It's really quite... cyber.

While I guess cyber-sex type stuff has been around since the mobile phone, I question it's term "foreplay". Not getting into details, foreplay for me would be like, you know, actually touching your partner. Why do you need a cockblocking middleman app? I guess it's handy for long-distance couples, so I can't be tooo cynical over it.


But enough about my ramblings on it. When I first looked at the article I laughed hard because I thought it was a joke at first. But no, it's real. Holy heck, what has sex evolved into? Will this be gracing the bedrooms of EoFFers anytime soon? ;)

Agent Proto
04-24-2013, 10:24 PM
Is this even... appropriate for this forum? :greenie:

For a moment, before I opened this thread, I thought this was about clothes that pay you just for wearing them.

Formalhaut
04-24-2013, 10:25 PM
Is this even... appropriate for this forum? :greenie:

It's not that inappropriate, is it? We're all adults. I find it hilarious personally.

Denmark
04-24-2013, 10:37 PM
i thought it was a portmanteau of "fundamental" and "underwear"

this is much better

Pumpkin
04-24-2013, 10:42 PM
It's certainly interesting.

chionos
04-24-2013, 10:46 PM
42653

All the foreplay I ever need.

Shorty
04-24-2013, 10:47 PM
This seems... highly inappropriate.

chionos
04-24-2013, 10:48 PM
This calls for a "Highly Inappropriate Forum"

Pumpkin
04-24-2013, 10:50 PM
I would visit that forum.

Formalhaut
04-24-2013, 10:50 PM
This calls for a "Highly Inappropriate Forum"

Hey that's actually not a bad idea actually. Everything's so damn family-friendly in general chat. One hint of foreplay and "OH NOES". I've heard EoFFers use far more controversial terminology :p

chionos
04-24-2013, 10:54 PM
Everyone knows the west-coast meetups are basically orgies.

Shorty
04-24-2013, 10:54 PM
NOTHING HAPPENED BETWEEN NCG, JIRO AND I


This calls for a "Highly Inappropriate Forum"

We have that forum already. It's called #tot.

Shauna
04-24-2013, 10:56 PM
NOTHING HAPPENED BETWEEN NCG, JIRO AND I

That's what they all say.

Shorty
04-24-2013, 10:57 PM
It's true. The business happened between Jiro and NCG, and there are photos. I was involved in no way, other than the fact that I took the photos.

Formalhaut
04-24-2013, 11:01 PM
It's true. The business happened between Jiro and NCG, and there are photos. I was involved in no way, other than the fact that I took the photos.

Guilty by association.

Denmark
04-24-2013, 11:01 PM
where are these photos located

you know, for science

chionos
04-24-2013, 11:01 PM
So where do I pay? Do you accept credit cards?

I also have paypal, or favors.

Agent Proto
04-24-2013, 11:07 PM
If I was on the staff, I would have deemed this thread inappropriate from the start, why? Mainly because these forums are meant to be, as you said yourself Formy, "family friendly". This thread is borderline NSFW, mainly because of the topic, and the video/image you provided is right there borderline NSFW, and not appropriate.

Also read the FAQ (http://home.eyesonff.com/faq.php?faq=vb_faq#faq_eoff_rules), I'm pretty sure this would have gotten you banned in the past.



11. Images. While "art" may be subjective, any image containing nudity which the poster considers art must be kept within the confines of the art forum, and marked as NSFW. While the art in question may contain nudity, it may not be sexual, or you will be banned. If you are unsure as to whether or not your image will get you banned, PM it to a staff member to have it cleared for posting. If you fail to do so and a staff member deems the image obscene, you will very likely be banned. If you post nudity (anything covered by a bathing suit) outside of a marked art forum thread, you will very likelyalso be banned. An image that implies sexual acts, regardless of whether or not it actually shows them, will also get you banned. Otherwise violent or disturbing images will be dealt with at the discretion of the staff, so use caution.

chionos
04-24-2013, 11:10 PM
Oh man...

Every motherfucker who's ever posted a picture of NCG gon' get banned!

Formalhaut
04-24-2013, 11:11 PM
Oh man...

Every mothersmurfer who's ever posted a picture of NCG gon' get banned!

Well, if I do get banned Chionos, tell Shion to find a replacement for the cook-off contest and that I'm sorry.

Aulayna
04-24-2013, 11:22 PM
Judging by what Proto quoted most of us who posted gifs in the Game of Thrones thread should've been banned too!

Welp, it was nice knowing you all. :(

Denmark
04-24-2013, 11:28 PM
Judging by what Proto quoted most of us who posted gifs in the Game of Thrones thread should've been banned too!

Welp, it was nice knowing you all. :(

yup. it's been a good 12+ years. :(

Formalhaut
04-25-2013, 12:03 AM
Well, I think I've won the ciddie for most controversial topic. :sweat:

Jinx
04-25-2013, 12:57 AM
WAY TO GO, JORDAN

Also, this seems like it'd be really ineffective.

Iceglow
04-25-2013, 01:03 AM
buy a pair, link them to Paul's phone and lets find out.

Formalhaut
04-25-2013, 01:06 AM
WAY TO GO, JORDAN

I'm trying to figure out whether this is a positive comment or a scornful telling off.

I'll go with the latter for now.

Shorty
04-25-2013, 01:36 AM
If I was on the staff, I would have deemed this thread inappropriate from the start, why? Mainly because these forums are meant to be, as you said yourself Formy, "family friendly". This thread is borderline NSFW, mainly because of the topic, and the video/image you provided is right there borderline NSFW, and not appropriate.

Also read the FAQ (http://home.eyesonff.com/faq.php?faq=vb_faq#faq_eoff_rules), I'm pretty sure this would have gotten you banned in the past.



11. Images. While "art" may be subjective, any image containing nudity which the poster considers art must be kept within the confines of the art forum, and marked as NSFW. While the art in question may contain nudity, it may not be sexual, or you will be banned. If you are unsure as to whether or not your image will get you banned, PM it to a staff member to have it cleared for posting. If you fail to do so and a staff member deems the image obscene, you will very likely be banned. If you post nudity (anything covered by a bathing suit) outside of a marked art forum thread, you will very likelyalso be banned. An image that implies sexual acts, regardless of whether or not it actually shows them, will also get you banned. Otherwise violent or disturbing images will be dealt with at the discretion of the staff, so use caution.

None of the images shown implicate any sexual acts - there is a man, a woman, and a phone. I snipped the vid, though, so if any of you nerds are really keen on looking this product up outside the realm of Eyes on Final Fantasy, go ahead and do it.

Any further concern for sexually explicit images can be presented to the attention of staff by utilizing our comment box or the report button.

NorthernChaosGod
04-25-2013, 02:56 AM
NOTHING HAPPENED BETWEEN NCG, JIRO AND I
Yes it did. And with Justy too.


42653

All the foreplay I ever need.

:aimkiss:

Shorty
04-25-2013, 02:57 AM
NOTHING HAPPENED BETWEEN NCG, JIRO AND I
Yes it did. And with Justy too.

Oh yeah, Justy! You little slutbucket.

Pheesh
04-25-2013, 03:03 AM
I saw this making the rounds on facebook, it seems like it would be more awkward than anything. In real life you don't have that catchy music and fast paced editing like on the video, you're just a pervert touching your phone really quickly.

Clouded Sky
04-25-2013, 03:10 AM
Sounds like we need an EoFF Fundawear Board where everyone buys a pair and you can take turns to connecting to your favourite member.:mwahaha:

Shorty
04-25-2013, 03:12 AM
This place is this || close to being a dating site as it is. No. :colbert:

Clouded Sky
04-25-2013, 03:24 AM
This place is this || close to being a dating site as it is. No. :colbert:

Wait, wait, wait. You're telling me this ISN'T a dating site!? :eek:

Jinx
04-25-2013, 03:26 AM
This place is this || close to being a dating site as it is. No. :colbert:

Wait, wait, wait. You're telling me this ISN'T a dating site!? :eek:

Unbreakable Will
04-25-2013, 03:29 AM
These seem like they wouldn't really work. :greenie:

Denmark
04-25-2013, 03:40 AM
This place is this || close to being a dating site as it is. No. :colbert:

too late. i'm pretty sure EoFF is basically okcupid for final game of doctor fantasy who thrones geeks who love to eat food

Formalhaut
04-25-2013, 03:41 AM
Sounds like we need an EoFF Fundawear Board where everyone buys a pair and you can take turns to connecting to your favourite member.:mwahaha:

XD Brilliant!

It'd be funnier if you could 'hack' the system so to speak and instead of a sexual tingling, just give them a full on zap. :plotting:

Shiny
04-25-2013, 04:51 AM
Julian should grow his hair back that length imo.

Jinx
04-25-2013, 04:55 AM
Julian should grow his hair back that length imo.

NorthernChaosGod
04-25-2013, 05:40 AM
NOTHING HAPPENED BETWEEN NCG, JIRO AND I
Yes it did. And with Justy too.

Oh yeah, Justy! You little slutbucket.
You're the one that was twice with two guys at the same time.


Julian should grow his hair back that length imo.
I don't even like that length.

Shorty
04-25-2013, 05:41 AM
NOTHING HAPPENED BETWEEN NCG, JIRO AND I
Yes it did. And with Justy too.

Oh yeah, Justy! You little slutbucket.
You're the one that was twice with two guys at the same time.

I don't know what you are referring to.

I'm half-tempted to remake this to The NSFW Thread but I don't trust you nerds not to bring the pervert apocalypse upon this forum.

Quindiana Jones
04-25-2013, 05:42 AM
Julian should grow his back hair that length imo.

NorthernChaosGod
04-25-2013, 07:15 AM
This thread isn't about my hair. :colbert:

LocoColt04
04-25-2013, 07:18 AM
This thread isn't about my hair. :colbert:It is now.

Clouded Sky
04-25-2013, 07:29 AM
Julian should grow his back hair that length imo.

Shorty
04-25-2013, 07:35 AM
This must be EoFF's version of "His name is Robert Palmer."

Quindiana Jones
04-25-2013, 07:35 AM
Does that count as double-posting?

Pheesh
04-25-2013, 08:06 AM
Everybody rep Clouded_Sky's post just because it's newer and fresh!

Quindiana Jones
04-25-2013, 08:26 AM
It's an ingenious play on words, and one that perfectly highlights what a hairy man-ape Julian is. A++, would definitely write again. ;)

Pike
04-25-2013, 10:41 AM
What the hell is this thread even about

Agent Proto
04-25-2013, 12:48 PM
It should be about that fundawear thing in the OP, but I think it evolved into being about julian's hair now.

Jinx
04-25-2013, 02:52 PM
http://i198.photobucket.com/albums/aa196/narcissisticprincess09/Untitled-2_zps166101e4.png (http://s198.photobucket.com/user/narcissisticprincess09/media/Untitled-2_zps166101e4.png.html)

Formalhaut
04-25-2013, 03:14 PM
I knew this thread would go off track, but I didn't expect this.

TrollHunter
04-25-2013, 03:57 PM
This new topic is even MORE worthy of NSFW in my opinion.

Unbreakable Will
04-25-2013, 05:32 PM
Julian should grow his back hair that length imo.

42663

Agent Proto
04-25-2013, 05:39 PM
Strive to be a successful Dothraki, grow out that hair, braid it, and place bells in it!

Shorty
04-25-2013, 06:49 PM
http://i198.photobucket.com/albums/aa196/narcissisticprincess09/Untitled-2_zps166101e4.png (http://s198.photobucket.com/user/narcissisticprincess09/media/Untitled-2_zps166101e4.png.html)

So you get the rep and Julian has to grow out his hair? :confused:

Jinx
04-25-2013, 06:53 PM
http://i198.photobucket.com/albums/aa196/narcissisticprincess09/Untitled-2_zps166101e4.png (http://s198.photobucket.com/user/narcissisticprincess09/media/Untitled-2_zps166101e4.png.html)

So you get the rep and Julian has to grow out his hair? :confused:

...actually, I'm pretty okay with that arrangement.

Shorty
04-25-2013, 06:55 PM
That's the arrangement that I see. Was there a different arrangement? :confused: :confused: :confused:

Psychotic
04-25-2013, 06:55 PM
This is one of the worst threads I have had the misfortune to ever read and I think I want to commit atrocities against anyone who contributed to making it this way.

Jinx
04-25-2013, 06:56 PM
That's the arrangement that I see. Was there a different arrangement? :confused: :confused: :confused:

All he had to do was quote/repost the pic with a YUP YUP REP DIS POST and it would've been fine. :confused:

Agent Proto
04-25-2013, 07:00 PM
This is one of the worst threads I have had the misfortune to ever read and I think I want to commit atrocities against anyone who contributed to making it this way.

:-*

Psychotic
04-25-2013, 07:02 PM
This is one of the worst threads I have had the misfortune to ever read and I think I want to commit atrocities against anyone who contributed to making it this way.

:-*You're as bad as the rest of them. I mean, I appreciate your dedication to internet justice, but you broke rule 8 in your objections to the breach in rule 11!

Modwhoring, repwhoring, the thread itself is about plain old vanilla whoring... WHY AM I ON A FORUM FULL OF WHORES :colbert:

Shorty
04-25-2013, 07:04 PM
The only answer to that question is that you yourself are a whore, Paulrus.

Jinx
04-25-2013, 07:10 PM
You're our Littlefinger, Paul.

Psychotic
04-25-2013, 07:11 PM
The only answer to that question is that you yourself are a whore, Paulrus.I feel like Dzhokhar Tsarnaev has just called me a murdering sociopath.

Jinx
04-25-2013, 07:13 PM
Alternative GoT reference:

Paul goes wherever whores go.

Agent Proto
04-25-2013, 07:15 PM
You know that he appreciates a good whore.

Shorty
04-25-2013, 07:26 PM
The only answer to that question is that you yourself are a whore, Paulrus.I feel like Dzhokhar Tsarnaev has just called me a murdering sociopath.

Doesn't make it any less true :aimkiss: :aimkiss: :aimkiss:

Psychotic
04-25-2013, 07:29 PM
Alright, let me put it another way. Imagine if Steve posted a wall of words to tell you to be more concise. You'd just pat him on the head, say "That's nice dear" and hope he didn't follow you home. That's how I feel reading a Shorty post with no less than three kissy smileys calling me a whore.

Shorty
04-25-2013, 07:31 PM
You're one of us. Accept it. Accept it.

:aimkiss: :aimkiss: :aimkiss: :aimkiss: :aimkiss: :aimkiss: :aimkiss: :aimkiss: :aimkiss: :aimkiss: :aimkiss: :aimkiss: :aimkiss: :aimkiss: :aimkiss: :aimkiss: :aimkiss: :aimkiss: :aimkiss: :aimkiss: :aimkiss: :aimkiss: :aimkiss: :aimkiss: :aimkiss: :aimkiss: :aimkiss: :aimkiss: :aimkiss: :aimkiss: :aimkiss: :aimkiss: :aimkiss: :aimkiss: :aimkiss: :aimkiss: :aimkiss: :aimkiss: :aimkiss: :aimkiss: :aimkiss: :aimkiss: :aimkiss: :aimkiss: :aimkiss: :aimkiss: :aimkiss: :aimkiss: :aimkiss: :aimkiss: :aimkiss: :aimkiss: :aimkiss: :aimkiss: :aimkiss: :aimkiss: :aimkiss: :aimkiss: :aimkiss: :aimkiss: :aimkiss: :aimkiss: :aimkiss: :aimkiss:

Psychotic
04-25-2013, 07:36 PM
Oh go on then, I'll give this whore thing a go. Oh Sarah you're soooooooo pretty! *hugs* You're my e-wifey :3 :aimkiss:

...

Nope, sorry, didn't feel anything. Well, I briefly felt a compulsion to gnaw off my own fingers to prevent them from typing that, but I don't think that was what you were going for.

Shorty
04-25-2013, 07:38 PM
I know you have it in you, and through these years of digging around in your soul that's been burnt to a crisp, one day I am going to find your little Grinch heart :love:

Psychotic
04-25-2013, 07:43 PM
Maybe, but I think it would take someone at least 87% less vile and 93% less abhorrent than you to achieve it.

Anyway, now that I have turned this thread into a "tell Sarah how gross she is" thread, I think I have dramatically improved it. Dare I say it has become a good thread now? You're welcome, EoFF.

Agent Proto
04-25-2013, 07:44 PM
Best Thread nominee Summer Ciddies '13

Shorty
04-25-2013, 07:49 PM
Great, thank you. Thanks a lot.

Night Fury
04-25-2013, 08:17 PM
Pauliflower will learn to love, he will. :heart:

Aulayna
04-25-2013, 08:22 PM
Just get him some vibrating underwear and he'll be... well away

Quindiana Jones
04-25-2013, 08:28 PM
Julian's length should grow his hair back imo.

Formalhaut
04-25-2013, 10:32 PM
Best Thread nominee Summer Ciddies '13


:aimkiss:

NorthernChaosGod
04-25-2013, 11:58 PM
http://i198.photobucket.com/albums/aa196/narcissisticprincess09/Untitled-2_zps166101e4.png (http://s198.photobucket.com/user/narcissisticprincess09/media/Untitled-2_zps166101e4.png.html)

Fine, I'll grow it out if it happens. :p

Pike
04-30-2013, 01:29 AM
Why are we trying to get Julian to grow his hair out again? Did I miss something?

the_best_noob
04-30-2013, 03:39 AM
The only word to describe what this has become

Blarg

Clouded Sky
04-30-2013, 09:36 AM
42740

NorthernChaosGod
04-30-2013, 07:39 PM
:colbert:

Jinx
04-30-2013, 08:32 PM
http://i198.photobucket.com/albums/aa196/narcissisticprincess09/Untitled-2_zpsf19fda4b.png (http://s198.photobucket.com/user/narcissisticprincess09/media/Untitled-2_zpsf19fda4b.png.html)

NorthernChaosGod
05-01-2013, 12:24 AM
You made me look like Rick James.

Unbreakable Will
05-01-2013, 12:50 AM
"Cocaine's a hell of a drug."
-Julian

Agent Proto
05-01-2013, 02:31 AM
You made me look like Rick James.

"I'm Rick James, bitch!"
- Julian

Rebellious Eagle
05-01-2013, 03:30 AM
Back on topic...I could really use something like this because I'm in a long distance relationship and doing things on your own gets really old really quickly. :greenie:

chionos
05-01-2013, 04:49 AM
Back on topic...I could really use something like this because I'm in a long distance relationship and doing things on your own gets really old really quickly. :greenie:

Only if you're doing it wrong!

Pike
05-05-2013, 09:32 AM
Back on topic...I could really use something like this because I'm in a long distance relationship and doing things on your own gets really old really quickly. :greenie:

Only if you're doing it wrong!

Ehhh when Hux and I last met up we spent every night watching Game of Thrones and doing crossword puzzles