18 Again: Another Time Travelling Thought Experiment

[Citizen Bleys]

Imagine, if you will, that you could go back in time to when you were 18. It would be the same year you were originally 18, and you'd be physically 18 again, you retain all of your memories, and you can look like anyone you want to. You can bring with you the following:


A sum of money functionally indistinguishable from infinite (In the form of a bank card that works on ATMs in the past)
One personal possession you now own, as long as you are able to carry it in one hand. Note that any containers will arrive in the past empty. This means any papers, hard disks, flash, magnetic, or optical media etc. will arrive blank. Be sure to memorize the PIN for your infiBank card before you leave. You can still write down whatever future events you remember upon your arrival in the past.
One superpower used by an existing fictional character who was written at any point prior to May 4, 2013 00:00 GMT


Here's the catch: If you interact with, or influence the lives of, your past self or anyone you presently know before time catches up with the present, you will thereby destroy the universe. As such, you are able to control the location in the past in which you will arrive in order that you can avoid creating a universe-destroying paradox by blundering into someone you know.

My questions are as follows:

Who or what do you look like?
Where do you land?
What year was it when you were 18?
What superpower do you have?
What personal possession do you take?
What celebrity do you attempt to smurf?


Feel free to fill in anything else you'd do but I don't actually care about anything that's not on the list.

Please note that this thread will have one and only one winner.

EDIT: Oh, and I almost forgot to mention: When you arrive in the past, you will be permanently transformed into a centaur. You can't use your superpower to change your shape, it won't work, not even temporarily. Any superpower use that doesn't involve de-centaur-ising yourself is still valid. Also, you're immortal.

EDIT2: Whoops, this was supposed to be in EoEO.

[Shiny]

- I would look the same just taller, because I got tired of people referring to me as the short one all throughout school minus college. I don't actually mind being 5'1'', but I hate being labeled as anything. Part of the reason why I like being racially indistinguishable is because no one can label me as anything because they're not even sure. Good, keep it that way.

-I'd land in some place hot and tropical. I don't even care where it just needs to not be cold ever.

-2008 which was a horrid year of awkwardness and uncertainty.

Oh wait never mind I see that I'd be immortal there is no way I'd ever choose being immortally 18. Fuck that noise.

[Citizen Bleys]

But being a centaur forever is fine?

[Shiny]

Yeah sure, why not. I can stomp people with my hooves.

[Psychotic]

No, I don't want to be a centaur forever. What the fuck is this shit Bleys?

[Pike]

Bleys go home you're drunk

[Shiny]

No, I don't want to be a centaur forever. What the fuck is this shit Bleys?
But you'd look majestic and hooves!

[NorthernChaosGod]

Dude, you're totally drunk.

[theundeadhero]

So, you can look exactly like anyone you want to as long as that person looks exactly like a centaur?

[Mirage]

Stopped reading at forever a centaur

this is a dumb experiment

[Jinx]

This was actually kind of cool, and I was gonna play along.


Until I read I'd be a fucking centaur.

[Denmark]

thread of the year 2013

[Parker]

thread of the year 2013

quoted so i can post in this historic thread

[kotora]

I thought I'd be the only one who couldn't take this thread seriously because of the centaur thing :monster:

[Iceglow]

If I was going to be forced to be a centaur forever why the hell would I look like anyone I like? "Oh I know I'm going to look like Orlando Bloom if he had a horses body..." wtf.

That being said Bleys, I wouldn't fuck a celebrity, even if I could, being a centaur with a massive horses member I would presently find yourself, and teach you exactly why this thread was a bad idea.

[Quindiana Jones]

I'd look like Billy Connelly, but obviously a centaur. I would have the Silver Surfers board and flying powers. Upon my arrival, I would immediately attempt to destroy the universe by majestically Silver-Surfer-Centaur-Billy-Connelly-ing as many people as possible in the face before the universe ultimately, and inevitably, collapsed in on itself.

It would be magnificent.

[fire_of_avalon]

I think I would continue to look like myself, in centaur form, because I would get really confused by looking into the mirror and seeing something else. Possibly to the point that I would be startled, accidentally trout the floor and kick the mirror over when my horsebrain took over in a fight or flight fear response. When I traveled back in time, it would be 2003 Italy so I could immediately go find the place where cloning on Prometea (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Prometea) was done, hide in her paddock and freak some poor souls right the smurf out.

Since my super-powers would be superspeed a la "The Flash" and I have infinity money with which I could buy my way into competition as a racehorse and jockey, I would spend the rest of eternity winning the Triple Crown.

Oh, and my personal item would be a lucky horse shoe, because smurf you this is a great thought experiment.

[Formalhaut]

I'm 18 now, so I'll get back to this thread in 10 years time or so :p

[Jinx]

I think I would continue to look like myself, in centaur form, because I would get really confused by looking into the mirror and seeing something else. Possibly to the point that I would be startled, accidentally trout the floor and kick the mirror over when my horsebrain took over in a fight or flight fear response. When I traveled back in time, it would be 2003 Italy so I could immediately go find the place where cloning on Prometea (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Prometea) was done, hide in her paddock and freak some poor souls right the smurf out.

Since my super-powers would be superspeed a la "The Flash" and I have infinity money with which I could buy my way into competition as a racehorse and jockey, I would spend the rest of eternity winning the Triple Crown.

Oh, and my personal item would be a lucky horse shoe, because smurf you this is a great thought experiment.

To be fair, if you're a centaur, you're probably shitting on the floor anyways.

[Rebellious Eagle]

I haven't been 18 yet. I will be in a matter of days though. :p

[Citizen Bleys]

No, I don't want to be a centaur forever. What the smurf is this trout Bleys?

Communist.


Bleys go home you're drunk

Communist.


Dude, you're totally drunk.

Communist.


So, you can look exactly like anyone you want to as long as that person looks exactly like a centaur?

Communist.


Stopped reading at forever a centaur

this is a dumb experiment

Communist.


This was actually kind of cool, and I was gonna play along.


Until I read I'd be a smurfing centaur.

Communist.


I thought I'd be the only one who couldn't take this thread seriously because of the centaur thing :monster:

Communist.


If I was going to be forced to be a centaur forever why the hell would I look like anyone I like? "Oh I know I'm going to look like Orlando Bloom if he had a horses body..." wtf.

That being said Bleys, I wouldn't smurf a celebrity, even if I could, being a centaur with a massive horses member I would presently find yourself, and teach you exactly why this thread was a bad idea.

Way to destroy the universe, asshole.

[Agent Proto]

Hell, I don't care if I had to be a centaur, I want to be a female centaur and I'll spend my time on the computer and flirt with myself online, to improve his self esteem. Of course, I want shape-shifting powers, so I can change my appearance, maybe only for a specific amount of time? Like, maybe like for an hour, so I can do things while looking like a normal person for awhile. I wouldn't want people to go "OH smurf, THERE'S A FEMALE CENTAUR! DO WE KILL IT?!"

Edit: I'll come up with answers for the other questions. :U

[Citizen Bleys]

Don't bother, you just destroyed the universe by interacting with your former self.

[chionos]

I don't think Centaurs existed in 1999.

[Agent Proto]

Don't bother, you just destroyed the universe by interacting with your former self.

Your rules are stupid.

[Iceglow]

If I was going to be forced to be a centaur forever why the hell would I look like anyone I like? "Oh I know I'm going to look like Orlando Bloom if he had a horses body..." wtf.

That being said Bleys, I wouldn't smurf a celebrity, even if I could, being a centaur with a massive horses member I would presently find yourself, and teach you exactly why this thread was a bad idea.

Way to destroy the universe, asshole.

I'd say at least I decided to do the right thing, I'm sure everyone else would agree with me that the universe not existing from 2003 onwards but knowing that you got rodgered by a horse is frankly a fair trade off.

[Quindiana Jones]

I quite like foa's myself, although I find the lack of universe implosion concering.

[Jinx]

This is a really weird fucking thread.

[The Man]

If I had to relive the time from when I was 18 I'd probably want to destroy the universe, even if I were a centaur.

[Mirage]

What about this, mister.
I am a centaur, look like a centaur, and my super power is a form of hypnosis/mind control that is strong enough to make people think I am not a centaur.

[Citizen Bleys]

You'd still be a centaur. You'd know yourself to be a centaur.

Do you have any idea how hard it would be to make lower body garments for a centaur?


If I had to relive the time from when I was 18 I'd probably want to destroy the universe, even if I were a centaur.

You'd be living someone else's life. Someone who was a centaur...but with unlimited money and a superpower of your choice. I don't think it would be so bad.

[Mirage]

So what, centaurs can be hot. What if my superpower turned everyone in the world into centaurs, and also made them think like this was the normal way to be?!

[Jinx]

I don't think I'd mind being a centaur, as long as I wasn't the only centaur out there. I think that'd be pretty lonely.

[The Man]

I'd still have to live through George Bush's presidency and the first four years of Obama's presidency again. Doesn't sound like a particularly pleasant experience.

But yeah, if there were other centaurs out there that would make it easier, I guess.

[Calliope]

I'd tap once for yes and twice for no

[Citizen Bleys]

So what, centaurs can be hot. What if my superpower turned everyone in the world into centaurs, and also made them think like this was the normal way to be?!

Sure. Now all you have to do is name a fictional character who has been written prior to May 4th who has that superpower. I'd love to see some "TurnEveryoneIntoACentaurMan" comics.


I'd still have to live through George Bush's presidency and the first four years of Obama's presidency again. Doesn't sound like a particularly pleasant experience.

The rules don't say you have to live in the United States. In fact, the rules specifically give you the choice of where to land as a paradox-avoidance method.

[Shorty]

Can I turn everyone into a centaur so it wouldn't be... you know, weird?

[Jinx]

I wonder, as a centaur, what sex would be like with another centaur.

[The Man]

Knowing George Bush was the president would be depressing even if I didn't live in the U.S., to be honest.

[the_best_noob]

I wonder, as a centaur, what sex would be like with another centaur.
Odd, very odd

[Citizen Bleys]

I was stone cold sober when I posted this, but it's so much funnier after an uncountable number of gin 'n tonics.

[krissy]

I wonder, as a centaur, what sex would be like with another centaur.

i'm sure it would be fawn

[Formalhaut]

This is a really weird smurfing thread.

It seemed such a simple concept for a thread as well, and then it turned into some sort of greek comedy.

[Unbreakable Will]

What in the... I can't even clop to this.

[Jinx]

Oh, quit your whinnying, guys. It was definitely an interesting concept.

[theundeadhero]

More interesting by far if you know the motivations behind the concept :)

[Jinx]

Which are?

[Citizen Bleys]

More interesting by far if you know the motivations behind the concept :)


Which are?

http://bleysmaynard.net/memes/secret.jpg

[Vasher]

Should my junk suddenly be "horse-sized" it would be physically impossible for me to bang my celebrity of choice. Therefore, I opt out.

That being said... if she wouldn't mind getting torn in two, Natasha Henstridge would get centaur style.

[Vasher]

I wonder, as a centaur, what sex would be like with another centaur.

i'm sure it would be fawn

^I see what you did there.:D


Double post is ok if you say "Double Post"... because I say so (I did, < back there).

[Tigmafuzz]

Speaking of time-traveling back into your own body: no-one has to die - Newgrounds (http://www.newgrounds.com/portal/view/615863)