A Texan Walks Into A Pub In Ierland And Clears His Throat...

[Cuchulainn]

"I hear you Irish are a bunch of hard drinkers and I'll give $500 American dollars to anybody in here who can drink 10 pints of Guinness back-to-back."

The room is quiet and no one takes up the Texan's offer. One man even leaves.

Thirty minutes later the same gentleman who left shows back up and taps the Texan on the shoulder and asks if his bet still good. The Texan says yes and asks the bartender to line up 10 pints of Guinness.

Immediately the Irishman tears into all 10 of the pint glasses drinking them all back-to-back. The other pub patrons cheer as the Texan sits in amazement. The Texan gives the Irishman the $500 and says, "If ya don't mind me askin', where did you go for that 30 minutes you were gone?"

The Irishman replies, "Oh, I had to go to the pub down the street to see if I could do it first."

[Pike]

Okay, I laughed.

[Chris]

"He is handsome,
He is pretty.
YOU'RE the belle of Belfast city."

[NorthernChaosGod]

Haha, brilliant.

[noxious.sunshine]

Wowwwww.

FedEx & UPS merged.... Know what they're called now?

Fed Up :D

[kotora]

So why did only one dude leave the pub? Why didn't anyone else take up the challenge? :confused:

[noxious.sunshine]

That's a very good question that should be answered.

And -why's- he gotta be from Texas?

[Cuchulainn]

It's a joke you joyless, pedantic sluts.

[Aulayna]

So why did only one dude leave the pub? Why didn't anyone else take up the challenge? :confused:

Finishing ones beverage is more important than the concerns of some silly foreigner.

[blackmage_nuke]

It's a joke you joyless, pedantic sluts.

Why was it "$500 American Dollars"?, Surely you mean "500 American Dollars" Unless the Texan said "five hundred dollars american dollars"?

[Sephex]

The Irish man cheated by eating a bunch of potatoes to take on the challenge.

[noxious.sunshine]

500 USD... That could be misleading .. 'Cuz it'd only equal out to like 375 over there or something.

But then again... Beer money is beer money, I guess.

And if the man filled up on potatoes before he did the challenge, I would also think that he'd be too full to continue on. Beer is a very filling beverage.

[Cuchulainn]

and you wonder why you nerds get bullied.

[noxious.sunshine]

HEY.... At least we spelled Ireland right. XD

(check your title)

[Bunny]

HEY.... At least we spelled Ireland right. XD

(check your title)

It wasn't a joke.

This was something that happened to Cuch a couple hours before he made the post. Forgive him.

[noxious.sunshine]

Ahhhh so it's a true story then.

Gosh Cuch, if that's the case, you shoulda said so! I'da been all like 'Yeaaaah boi! I just downed 20 pints! And what!?"

[blackmage_nuke]

It is quite the achievement. Personally I wouldnt down one pint Guinness

[noxious.sunshine]

I prefer Guinness Extra Stout, personally, though it's quite a heavy beer either way.

Unless Cuch was pretending to be the Texan and faked a U.S. Southern Accent. .... But why he would go out of his way to convert Euros into USD and pretend to be a Texan ... There's just no way that makes any kind of sense. -Unless- he was like trippin' balls or stoned or something.

[Cuchulainn]

He was a Texan becuase they're stereotypicaly loud, and stereotypically loaded. No one else took up the bet becuase they were waiting for the town drunk to step up. If you want to argue about the imperfect way I chose to write out the currency I will counter by finding imperfections in all your faces. If there are none, I'll make some. Now smurf yerselves. ;)

[Jinx]

Of course they are loaded. Haven't you ever seen Dallas?

[noxious.sunshine]

Or better yet, haven't you ever -been- there? Jeeze. Wait... Loaded money-wise or loaded gun-wise? I automatically went to guns 'cuz there are more people who have guns in TX than there are people who have money. Or well... That's probably the entire U.S. in general. Whatever.

Of course he hasn't. He lives in IERLAND.

I have a scar on my face from a dog bite and I have premature wrinkles. HA! Beatcha to it! ;p

[Cuchulainn]

Are you tweaking?

[Fonzie]

He was a Texan becuase they're stereotypicaly loud, and stereotypically loaded. No one else took up the bet becuase they were waiting for the town drunk to step up. If you want to argue about the imperfect way I chose to write out the currency I will counter by finding imperfections in all your faces. If there are none, I'll make some. Now smurf yerselves. ;)

I'm from Texas, Irish descendent, and I'll challenge you to a Guinness drinking contest any day, motherfucker.

[Laddy]

CUCH IS A HANDSOME MAN.

[Fonzie]

CUCH IS A HANDSOME MAN.

Shut your gay-ass up there, Suzanne Somers. This is between men.

[LocoColt04]

I could barely get through one pint of Guinness, and I'm from Texas.

Can it be a tequila-drinking contest instead? I already killed my liver eight years ago, so I'm not really concerned about that.

[Quindiana Jones]

An American walks into a thread about comedy...

[noxious.sunshine]

TEQUILA! Only if it's reposado and -not- Patron. Gag me. I'd rather -eat- that $100 it costs than spend it on that crap. Sorry. JS.

I'm Irish. I'll take on all y'all and still come out on top. HA!

How funny would that be? An EoFF drinking contest. We'd all have to be in a Skype sesh so no cheaters and have to all have the same alcohol in the same quantities.

[NorthernChaosGod]

TEQUILA! Only if it's reposado and -not- Patron. Gag me. I'd rather -eat- that $100 it costs than spend it on that crap. Sorry. JS.

I'm Irish. I'll take on all y'all and still come out on top. HA!

How funny would that be? An EoFF drinking contest. We'd all have to be in a Skype sesh so no cheaters and have to all have the same alcohol in the same quantities.

Wtf do you live that Patron is $100? o_O

[noxious.sunshine]

It's an exaggeration.

And NO, Cuch, I am -not- tweaking. If I were, I wouldn't be on the damn computer. I'd be off scrubbing the walls with a toothbrush or writing letters or some shiz.

[Unbreakable Will]

I'm 50% Irish and if that hypothetical situation/joke was a liquor drinking contest I'd be down, but since it was beer no thanks.
I'd let the town drunk handle it. --> :cuch:

[NorthernChaosGod]

It's an exaggeration.

And NO, Cuch, I am -not- tweaking. If I were, I wouldn't be on the damn computer. I'd be off scrubbing the walls with a toothbrush or writing letters or some shiz.

Quite an exaggeration when I find it for $40 here. :p

[noxious.sunshine]

-That- my friend, depends on the size of the bottle and whether it's Blanco, Reposado, or Anejo. ;p

Blanco - of any brand - is typically around $1 - $2 cheaper than resposado.

But I don't drink Patron, so I don't know how much it really costs. I think back in the day in Phoenix this dude bought a big bottle of blanco and he said it was like $65.

[Quindiana Jones]

Confession: Guinness is quite shit.

[NorthernChaosGod]

Guinness vs. Budweiser then, GO!

[Rocket Edge]

Haha good one. Talking about stereotypes - I remember when I was on holidays in the US with some friends. When we entered into a pub one day to look at a match we heard "Oh here come the Irish better leave before they drink the place dry GAHAHH". It came from two Americans sitting at the bar eating cheeseburgers. :spin:

[noxious.sunshine]

Budweiser: The King of Beers.

Also the only beer my dad will drink. He will not drink anything else and he will -only- drink Budweiser out of a 12 oz can. If you hand him a -bottle- of Budweiser, or a -mug- of Budweiser, he will find an empty can and pour the beer into that can. And considering my dad is now a Hermit and never goes anywhere, there is no shortage of Budweiser cans in his cave.

[Jinx]

Ugh, canned beer is the worst. Tap or bottle, man.

[Denmark]

Ugh, canned beer is the worst. Tap or bottle, man.

this, yes. canned beer picks up that aluminum taste just from touching the can. give it to me in a flavorless glass container.

[Jinx]

Ugh, canned beer is the worst. Tap or bottle, man.

this, yes. canned beer picks up that aluminum taste just from touching the can. give it to me in a flavorless glass container.

Yes, and tap is aaaaalways the best. It's so refreshing.