Dexter: The End

[McLovin']

Awesome premiere. Didn't expect that at all. And Deb is fiiiine. It's like a trend.

[Shorty]

Wait, what? I thought Dexter doesn't start until September or some shit!

[Shauna]

Nah, it's back early so it can finale sooner? I don't know.

[CimminyCricket]

Oh no. Already? I'm behind so many seasons now, the last episode I watched was Season 6 Episode 1. D: D: D: D: D: D:

[Shlup]

I see the Dark Passenger has a mother. Interesting. It was also nice to see Dexter not conveniently leave Harrison with Jamie all the damn time, though I wish that meant we'd see less off Miss Fan Service rather than more. These side character stories are useless to me.

[Calliope]

I need more Masuka/Batista time!

I don't know how I feel about this. I'm tired of Deb's descent, but moreso how heavily story arcs seem to lean on Deb's romantic life. Her fiance is the Ice Truck Killer, who Dexter kills after Deb is kidnapped, then Lundy leaves, then her boyfriend Anton gets kidnapped and tortured, then she gets back with Lundy (yay!) only to have him be shot and killed, then she has a relationship with Quinn that peters out, then she can't handle her promotion (which only really comes about by her being used as a political pawn), and then she decides she's in love with Dexter, then Dexter's girlfriend kills Deb's boyfriend, then Deb does a bunch of stuff to protect Dexter (like kill La Guerta), then on the first episode of the last season, Dexter once again turns up and murders Deb's lover.

[Psychotic]

I like crazy off-the-rails Deb. :)
It was also nice to see Dexter not conveniently leave Harrison with Jamie all the damn time, though I wish that meant we'd see less off Miss Fan Service rather than more. These side character stories are useless to me.Yeah pretty much. "What can we do with Batista and Quinn this season?"

[Rantz]

Well well. Wellity wellity well. This could be interesting! The episode was decent but the teaser for what's coming makes me more excited. The good doctor could be a cool character.

[Shauna]

Interesting developments in this episode. I am eager to see more.

[Raistlin]

It was a promising premier. I liked Deb's crash and think that was realistic, and I look forward to more Dex-Deb development (their interaction was really the main positive part of season 7). The doctor also seems like she could be interesting.

[Calliope]

To clarify, I do like how Deb is choosing to flip the bird and do whoever and whatever she wants at the moment; she can't be everything to everyone at all times.

[Psychotic]

(their interaction was really the main positive part of season 7). A certain Russian begs to differ :colbert:

[Shiny]

Omg wut. I had no idea this was back again. I know what I am watching today!

[Raistlin]

(their interaction was really the main positive part of season 7). A certain Russian begs to differ :colbert:

Ok, he was the other main positive part. :p

[Shlup]

I need more Masuka/Batista time!

I don't know how I feel about this. I'm tired of Deb's descent, but moreso how heavily story arcs seem to lean on Deb's romantic life. Her fiance is the Ice Truck Killer, who Dexter kills after Deb is kidnapped, then Lundy leaves, then her boyfriend Anton gets kidnapped and tortured, then she gets back with Lundy (yay!) only to have him be shot and killed, then she has a relationship with Quinn that peters out, then she can't handle her promotion (which only really comes about by her being used as a political pawn), and then she decides she's in love with Dexter, then Dexter's girlfriend kills Deb's boyfriend, then Deb does a bunch of stuff to protect Dexter (like kill La Guerta), then on the first episode of the last season, Dexter once again turns up and murders Deb's lover.

Ahaha, poor Deb. After reading that summary, it's hard to believe she didn't snap years ago.

[Madame Adequate]

I've not watched this show in forever so catch me up: Have Deb and Dexter had sex yet?

[Shlup]

Awww, Dexter has a mommy. And he wuvs her.

[Raistlin]

I was a bit uncomfortable with the idea of Vogle being about to know who Dexter is by look alone, so the latest episode helped assuage those doubts (if in a blatant retcon). I also like that it looks like the show is going to criticize Vogle's black-and-white condemnation of children she diagnoses as psychopaths (though I guess not really condemnation if she practically worships them), because there's already plenty of hints about how she got it wrong with Dexter. I assume her "experiments" were also quite loony and abusive.

[McLovin']

Her eyes creep me out.

[Shiny]

Her voice, eyes, and aura are creepy. Plus she got boned by Daniel Craig in some movie and I cannot get her naked body out of my head. *cringes*

Also Deb wtf. Apparently emotional and mental decay makes you hotter though cuz she's looking good.

[LunarWeaver]

A large piece of me is glad this show is finally coming to a close. I've come far enough to see it through now. I enjoy Deb's perpetual cryface at any rate.

It's... interesting they are adding such a large change to the mythology with Dr. Contrived. Gotta do something for the season I guess.

[McLovin']

http://s132.photobucket.com/user/sassybroad/media/Dex1_zps6f61e29f.jpg.html'

loled

[Rantz]

I mean I don't know about y'alls but even if I was a cannibal and really loved me some human meat, I wouldn't put a chopped off finger with the nail still on it in a stew

[Inferno]

it's like croutons in a salad... you have to have some crunchiness in there

[Shlup]

I just figured fingers gave extra flavor. Like bay leaves.

[Rantz]

All that gunk under the nail might be a surprise spice, I guess!

[Raistlin]

I mean I don't know about y'alls but even if I was a cannibal and really loved me some human meat, I wouldn't put a chopped off finger with the nail still on it in a stew

It does seem a bit uncharacteristically unsanitary given how careful he is with the other products. But maybe he scrubbed it thoroughly first?

Or maybe he's just completely batshit insane.

[Rantz]

Or maybe the showmakers wanted a piece that watchers could recognise as human as opposed to something a cannibal would realistically eat. ;)

[Calliope]

Maybe it's just a broth and he would have strained it at the end?

Find out next week on Cooking With Dexter!

[Shlup]

Hope ya'll watched the episode before reading the thread 'cause...

Many people are guessing that Deb will kill Dexter and/or get killed herself this season, but I sure as shit didn't expect her to try it less than halfway through the season! And it's nice to see Dexter pissed at her for it.

[McLovin']

Masuka's daughter had the same laugh. I loled so god damn hard. :D That was a great touch.

[Raistlin]

I thought Deb was planning something when she was so happy after finding out Harry killed himself, but I figured it was suicide herself. Holy crap. Her trying to justify it at their group therapy session, though...

Also lol at Masuka's daughter. Of course he was a sperm donor.

[Shlup]

The laugh was cute, and it's nice to see Masuka get some kind of storyline. Everybody loves Masuka. :}

[Rantz]

Hope ya'll watched the episode before reading the thread 'cause...

Many people are guessing that Deb will kill Dexter and/or get killed herself this season, but I sure as trout didn't expect her to try it less than halfway through the season! And it's nice to see Dexter pissed at her for it.

Thanks for the first line, as usual I blundered into the thread like a dork without realising a new episode was out. Even something as simple as that lets me close the tab before I read anything. xD

I agree with whoever said that the supporting characters' side stories just seem like filler lately. I honestly couldn't care less about Quinn's relationship drama. At least the thing with Masuka's daughter was cute. I wonder if they're related in real life, they really did look alike.

[Calliope]

Grinding my teeth again. Deb had so many ways of actually killing Dex, and yet she just catapults them into a little mud puddle, and then fishes him out again. Of course, she probably didn't actually want him to die, but it just gets frustrating.

I do miss the tension that was present in seasons with Trinity or Jordan Chase. This all feels a little lacklustre, and I'm wondering if I should just wait and watch the rest of the series as a little marathon instead.

[Psychotic]

I think it would've been amazing if they'd ended the show with Deb randomly killing them both out of nowhere, no closure, no explanation, just that. But then, I'm a dick.

[Shlup]

I would actually be okay with that.

[Raistlin]

I liked Dexter's anger and frustration at the beginning. Him and Deb seemed to make up too quickly for my tastes, but her being on the boat as he dumped a body is a huge step.

So who thinks Masuka's daughter is out for money? The episode was pretty blatant with the hints, but that makes me suspect it might be something else entirely. Knowing Masuka's and this show's penchant for the shocking, she may just be out to bone him.

[Shlup]

Started watching Six Feet Under yesterday without knowing that I'd get to see Michael C. Hall make out with another man. That was a treat.

[Shiny]

I actually think it would be awesome if this series ends with her killing Dexter, but the exact way that Dexter dreamed it would happen, with a gunshot to the head.

"Deb I'm the Bay Harbor Butcher" *BANG*

[Shauna]

I fully expect something like that to happen. I don't know how else it can end other than Dexter being killed. Will be legit surprised if he survives.

[Shlup]

There's no way Dexter lives. My guess is that Deb feels she has to kill him, but Dexter kills himself to save her from doing that.

[Shlup]

I try to suspend my disbelief and not expect the shows I love to be perfect, but I have complaints!

1) Seriously, Dexter? You just happen to decide to get a screwdriver to open that camera to find the little thumb drive (which has no security on it) and, not only does it have photos of the murder, but it also happens to have something on the floor which reflects the perfectly framed face of the murderer and his hand holding the murder weapon? Seriously?

2) Your method of destroying evidence that links you to a murder is to leave it sitting in the top of your trashcan?

3) You can't put off your murder for one more night so your already abused nanny can have her birthday to herself??

4) "Remember me?" What kind of stupid thing to say is that? I'm glad she's back though.

If the Dexter spinoff (http://www.uproxx.com/tv/2013/07/yup-that-dexter-spinoff-is-probably-going-to-happen/) is about this new kid... not sure how I feel about that.

[Calliope]

I would watch the shit out of the Masuka Family Hour!

http://24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_mdq0dsEnSt1qf4lf0o1_400.gif

Seriously though, why aren't more people dying? Stupid brat kid.

[Raistlin]

#1 and #2 on your list made me shake my head while watching the show. #1 is like the resolution of a cheesy dime mystery novel, and #2 is yet another one of Dexter's head scratching moments of mind-numbing carelessness (like his recurring inability to put his cell phone on silent when he's stalking victims).

[Shauna]

I am also glad that Hannah has returned. I was waiting for it! :excited:

[Calliope]

You know what would be cool? If Hannah ripped off what was actually a very convincing mask, and then:

45737

:(

And then Quinn made Sergeant, Lundy came back and married Deb (reception at Poppa's), and they looked after Harrison because Dexter got the chair while LaGuerta and Doakes high-fived and solved all the crime in the city.

THE END

[Slothy]

You know what would be cool? If Hannah ripped off what was actually a very convincing mask, and then:

[duplicate image removed]

:(

And then Quinn made Sergeant, Lundy came back and married Deb (reception at Poppa's), and they looked after Harrison because Dexter got the chair while LaGuerta and Doakes high-fived and solved all the crime in the city.

THE END

This is the worst idea I've ever seen.

No one wants LaGuerta back.

[Calliope]

Well, that's true.

Seriously though, all last episode I was just yelling "QUINNNN! WHYYYY? TURN THE CORNER, WORST COP IN THE WORLD" with my head in my hands :(

[McLovin']

So I guess they're gonna continue Dexter with that new kid for future seasons. And lol @ the nanny working on her birthday!!?? Are you freakin serious? And then Quinn...omg.."I know what you're doing." Yeah so do we Dexter writers. Being complete buttholes.

[Shlup]

Lundy came back and married Deb
This would make me so happy. I loved Lundy. ;_;

[Calliope]

I thought about re-watching that season, but NOPE. It's too sad ;_;

[Calliope]

I am double-posting because I have seen other people do it a lot lately.

Anyway: WTF Masuka family? I can't even comprehend what happened there. As soon as Nikki paused in conversation talking about her job, I knew it was _________. That whole arc of this episode creeped me out.

And man, I kept waiting for Deb to leap out of the car and murder ________. Can this happen, please?

[Shlup]

There are several legit reasons to double-post; this is one of them.

I'm officially on board with your "Masuka Family Hour" spinoff. "daughter boobs" and "I'm not gonna be a stripper, Dad!" were such touching moments. Best parts of the episode. xD

[Raistlin]

I agree with Shlup; the Masuka family parts were great. Vince trying to act modest and chivalrous? Quality entertainment.

I still can't quite shake the belief that Nikki's in it for the long con, but I am still amused by her interactions with Masuka.

[Rantz]

Finally starting to get properly excited about this season's story. What's going onnnnnnn!?!?! D:

[Shiny]

Yeah for real. This season was boring until the last ten minutes of the most recent episode.

[Shlup]

They released that they were thinking of doing a spinoff right as Dex started mentoring that kid, the clever bastards.

[Shauna]

Things certainly have heated up.

[Slothy]

I was never quite sure why they thought the dude they caught was the brain surgeon guy and figured he'd be back. I mean, sure, the Doc cracked open his skull and started diddling his brains with an ice cream scoop, but he was also a serial killer who had a house filled with evidence that he had a much different MO. It struck me as a bit strange that he would shift to a completely different style of killing so far outside his comfort zone. Personally, I'm calling the good Doctor as the killer. Don't care if I turn out to be wrong.

[Shauna]

I agree with you there, Vivi. That is my prediction also.

[Rantz]

Yeah I've been considering that as well. It seems to make sense for the most part. Also, considering her role in Dexter's upbringing she might even fit the bill as the series' final big villain.

[Calliope]

46586

[Raistlin]

Finally! I agree that Yates didn't seem to be the Brain Surgeon; I would have been so disappointed had he not made a return.

Vogel seems to be a possible candidate herself, and I'm still assuming she at least knows or did something in her past that she's not telling Dexter. I still don't think she's the killer yet (though maybe she's working with the killer...).

Really random idea: what about Cassie's (now former) boyfriend, or even Elway? They would make an interesting parallel to the Ice Truck Killer: dating (or trying to) someone near Dexter. Neither seems to have much interest in Dexter as yet, so at this point this is entirely out in left field, baseless speculation. But it's potentially noteworthy that Cassie's bf did see Dexter with Zach.

[Psychotic]

I absolutely agree with THE THEORY.

Vogel is making Dexter go around offing people one by one. And she's justifying it as "oh maybe he's the serial killer". He's being manipulated. And with Zach's death, that tells you what she really thinks of whether a psychopath can be harnessed as a force of good.

[Calliope]

Guys, do you know what this means?


46941

IT COULD STILL HAPPEN :love:

Seriously though, that dinner party was too good to be true, and they really overplayed Zach's enthusiasm. "Don't dude me."

[Shauna]

I can't wait for us all to be proven wrong in a crazy twist that takes us all by surprise! :excited:


That would be nice...

[Calliope]

And then...it was all a dream...

[McLovin']

what if cassies BF was a patient of Vogel's and also a good friend of Brian (Dexters bro) and so he knew all about him? But now he's CRAAAZYYYY!....for some dat dexter...

[Calliope]

I'm only a third of the way through the latest episode, but WTF "AGE PROGRESSION SOFTWARE" I DO NOT ACCEPT HOW YOU WORK OR THAT A BLOOD SPATTER ANALYST WOULD HAVE ACCESS TO YOU. Also, I thought that the "pause" when Dexter created the new picture was because it looked like him, not Saxton.

It also irritated me that after being told that she was being hunted by the Marshall, she still insisted on leaving the house in a skintight pink dress with her blonde hair billowing everywhere - something that would make almost anyone take a second look at her. Gurl, you need to dye and crop that hair, put on a baseball cap, and jeans and a t-shirt. You're on the run!

Okay, I'll probably edit this once I'm done watching, I just couldn't wait to flip my trout about that.

[Shlup]

Haha, I thought the age progression looked like Dexter too.

As soon as Dexter's spiritual mommy got her real boy back, she abandoned, and now I am sad. ;_;

[McLovin']

Nah you're wrong about the age progression looking like Dexter. It definitely looked like someone else..
Dexter's Age Progression Program Twist!!!! - YouTube (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-Gvx8hR6Yzo)

[Shlup]

I feel like I should've seen that coming.

[Calliope]

You should have, but it was a SURPRISE, MOTHERFUCKER!

I am actually almost doubled over in laughter, it shouldn't be that funny :greenie:

[McLovin']

I didn't catch this one but it proves how unrealistic this shows writing has become.

http://i.minus.com/i5RYOCS7SyIRn.gif

[Slothy]

I did catch that when the episode aired. For a serial killer who stalks and then quietly abducts most of his victims, Dexter is as stealthy as an elephant hiding in a closet or something. I don't know, hard to think of a good simile.

[Calliope]

He didn't even move when Saxton exited the building, not even to hold a newspaper in front of his face or anything. Tsk tsk.

[Slothy]

Just standing there staring straight at him through the window. :Oo:

[Shiny]

This season is dire. Dear gawd.

[Raistlin]

Hah, I called it (sort of). I was not expecting the son angle, though.

And yes, Dexter's "stalking" of Saxon made me nearly *facepalm* in real life. For someone whose survival depends on not being caught and considering how supposedly good he is at this, Dexter is routinely awful at being stealthy.

[Calliope]

One episode to go! Things just got interesting again, too.

[Shauna]

How did that private investigator not know that the guy in the chair was Saxon? Isn't his face all over news and television? ._.

I am unsure of how this is going to end... I expect Dexter to die, but I am not sure of how it's all gonna play out.

[Calliope]

Yeah, seriously. I was all like "wtf kind of marshall are you?"

It's for reasons like that that when I consider that the Dexter writing staff might be saddened by the lack of attention they are getting due to Breaking Bad also concluding, that I think it's their own fault. Bad writers!

[Shiny]

It's sad when all the fans' theories in here have been better writing than any of the actual writing for this season.

[Shlup]

Yeah, we're all like "Ill be this happens!" and then another episode airs and we're like "Oh."

Still better than most TV though.

[McLovin']

it's bad. They're pushing for this new and human Dexter but its just so bad. It's not interesting at all to watch. Someone with a better vision could have played out Dexter's turning away from killing in a better way that isn't so strung out and maybe actually interesting and more dramatic, ugh.

[Shiny]

Hey guys, gahurk, Dexter is Breaking Good if that's even a thing.

[Calliope]

Breaking Sad

[Shlup]

http://apollothegreat.files.wordpress.com/2009/08/34quz4n.gif?w=500

[Calliope]

Ugh, what a terrible, terrible ending. I don't know how they could make it worse. Even if Dexter had raised Deb up in his stupid boat in the stupid lightning storm and then a bolt of lightning hit her and they switched bodies, or she came back to life "miraculously" it would have been way better than that rubbish.

THINGS THAT SHOULD HAVE HAPPENED:

1) Quinn takes one look at that police video and yells "YOU WERE THE BAY HARBOUR BUTCHER!" and locks Dexter the fuck up, stat.
2) We get to find out what the heck happens with the Masuka Family Fun Hour. Seriously, I think Masuka got one line and there was no laughing involved =/
3) Deb lives, obviously, and adopts Harrison.
4) Hannah McKay gets locked away!

[Shauna]

These... are good responses. I don't have time to watch it this morning, so I'mma wait until I get home from work.

...I look forward to it...? *_*

[Slothy]

Welp, that was definitely an ending. And Dexter's final choice makes no sense. Even based on the reasoning he gives.

[Calliope]

I saw this on reddit, and had to repost. It's long, so before I post that, I want to know Why the hell Hannah McKay + Harrison get to just swan around eating ice cream when Harrison is a little boy who is now an orphan and Alway JUST SAW HIM on a bus with Hannah. I suppose this falls under the same logic as no one recognizing Saxon or Hannah despite being all over the news and running around bleeding or whatever.


[–]bigbrasscasket 912 points 26 days ago*
At the end of last season, I thought Deb murdering LaGuerta was the 'Hank on the toilet' moment of Dexter and it was all going to be a rollercoaster from there on out. I thought this season was going to consist of:

[–]Miami Metro freaking out about the murder of LaGuerta and doing a thorough investigation, complete with suspensful episodes where Deb and Dexter almost and maybe eventually get caught, maybe even just Deb taking the fall
[–]Batista coming out of retirement and getting all Deathwish trying to find LaGuerta's murderer
[–]Deb and Dexter meltdowns and paranoia, maybe an eventual sex scene
[–]The unwinding of Dexter leading to a satisfying, powerful conclusion

Instead, the following far-fetched shark-jumping scooby doo horseshit has ensued:

[–]Batista is back at Metro for no real reason and Deb quit and is now Deb the bounty hunter, and she's doing coke now and banging the guy she's hunting until Dexter just straight up kills him while Harrison's in the car.
[–]Meanwhile, there's another new serial killer in Miami who does artsy shit with corpses. This brings us Vogel, who they introduce at Miami Metro just so you'll think she's a threat to Dexter for a minute, but really she just needs his help killing the Brain Surgeon, who she doesn't know is actually her own son who faked his own death a long time ago.
[–]The Brain Surgeon has traveled back to America in his mid 40's and is killing his mom's old patients and leaving her brain chunk valentines instead of just calling her.
[–]Dexter can't find the Brain Surgeon, but kills 2 of her old patients along the way, one of whom is a cannibal and the other one is a serial killer got so mad that Dexter was following him, he kidnapped Vogel and almost cut her toes off but luckily Dexter killed him with his mattress spear right in front of Deb and Vogel. He also had a fucking scar on his head that matched the Brain Surgeon head cut thing. Why not.
[–]Quinn's still around, but now he's banging Batista's sister. He's also on the hunt for a new murderer in Miami, this time it's a mini Dexter and also happens to be one of Vogel's patients, Zach Hamilton.
[–]Deb spirals out of control and drives Dexter and herself into a lake and decides to save him. We never see any consequence for this action.
[–]Dexter starts hunting Zach at the same time as Quinn, and they even catch each other stalking him at the same time. Dexter is about to kill Zach but then decides instead of killing him, he'll teach him his fucking code and they'll be little killers together. He spends about 7 minutes a year with his real son, but why not take on this little Zach guy. It'll be a fun little side project.
[–]There is also a multiple episode arc where Masuka has a long lost daughter from donating sperm and he does a background check on her, she finds out, he sees her tits, she calls him 'dad' and he gives her a job in the lab.
[–]Deb and Dex reconcile, and eat some food together. Food that has been poisoned at some point by Hannah McKay.
[–]Hannah is back in Miami, she wants to make sure Dexter won't turn her in, and needs Dexter's help but instead of using words, she drugs Dexter and Deb and dumps him on the side of the road, naturally.
In one episode, we learn that Hannah is now not only out of prison, but married to a millionaire. She kills him in the same episode and Dexter helps her dump the body. Oh and Deb saw them.
[–]Back to the Brain Surgeon, Vogel's son. He's been stalking Vogel and Dexter, in whatever free time he has from working and trying to seriously date Dexter's neighbor Cassie only to end up killing her. Someone also took the time of putting Zach Hamilton's blood under her nails which they collected from his door handle.
[–]Dexter and Hannah are now totally in love again even though she wasn't really mentioned in any of the first 6 episodes. They go on a little getaway to find Zach. It turns out Zach's innocent.
[–]Deb followed them on that journey to arrest Hannah. She finds them in a plastic covered room with Zach Hamilton. Hannah tells Deb, who she poisoned a few days ago to go away because she loves Dex. Deb just decides 'fuck it' and bails.
[–]Dexter, Hannah and Zach go have dinner with Vogel. Dexter takes Hannah home, bangs her in his socks and then returns to his apartment where he finds Zach minus some of his head. Vogel's son did this in keeping with his "saw off part of my mom's patients' heads" gag that he does. He left the corpse in Dexter's apartment because he hates Dexter for some reason.
[–]Hannah and Deb are BFF's now and Hannah is hiding in Deb's apartment of all places while Deb's boss is hunting for Hannah. Makes sense.
[–]Whenever the Brain Surgeon came to kill Zach, during the struggle Zach managed to somehow meticulously place a large chunk of DNA right under his desk. Dexter places the DNA in his computer, types 'enhance' and we find out that the Brain Surgeon is Vogel's son. Now Vogel doesn't want to kill him, she wants to meet up with him and hang.
[–]Dexter decides he wants to move away with Harrison and Hannah, but he's gonna kill Oliver Daniel Saxon Vogel first, who is chilling at home with Vogel now.

It's insanity. I didn't think this far into the show, he'd still be walking into work and carrying on normally. There's so many reasons for shit to be hitting the fan and it's not happening in any way we should care about. My favorite moments in Dexter were always when it seemed like he might get caught, like when he was watching the news about the Bay Harbor Butcher, or when Quinn or Doakes would be tracking him, etc. I was thinking this season would be filled with that kind of thing. But he's clubbing with Zach Hamilton and walking around in pastel colors with his fugitive girlfriend whose millionaire husband was just murdered. It's a bummer.

EDIT: Updates from the most recent episode:

[–]Vogel and her 'perfect psycopath' (full body cringe) son the Brain Surgeon have breakfast and she's trying to get sentimental with him but he's all mean now because he's gotta stay scary. I thought that was weird. He was all creepy and 'mommy' at the end of the last episode, but now he's shifted. He needs her help to make him like Dexter. Even though he hates Dexter. I think. Oh fuck who cares.
[–]Masuka's daughter is getting high. It's the third to last episode of Dexter and they're throwing in pointless dead end sub-sub-subplots. Maybe there will be an intervention in the next episode and she'll go off to rehab for the finale. Predictions?
[–]Dexter quits Miami Metro in an anticlimactic soft fart of a scene and Batista is your typical Batista in it and he's like 'door's always open bro' fedora hug
[–]Dexter tells Deb he's moving away and that's another big whatever scene. Deb makes a weird slanted Deb face in it though and I laughed.
[–]Then we find ourselves in the scary Brain Surgeon's secret lair so we can showcase how super scary he is. They're really shoving the 'hey mom I'm going to kill you very soon' thing into our face.
[–]Quinn and Jamie break up because all she wants to do is ride his boner and make him food.
[–]Then Dexter the super hero uses his most useful superpower, his ability to make whatever convenient information he needs appear on a computer screen. Harry reads over his shoulder and makes sure the viewer always knows exactly what's going on.
[–]Dexter's Ghost Dad who killed himself when he realized what his son had become, is still persuading him to kill people in his miserable afterlife.
[–]A new character is looking for Hannah. She is inside doing dishes with all the windows open.
[–]Then came the treadmill. I don't want to say a show 'jumped the shark' anymore. I think it's time that we update that phrase to 'fell off the treadmill'. 'That show used to be good but then it really fell off the treadmill'. I like it.
[–]Hannah takes Dexter's human bourdon to the hospital in her regular Hannah gear and no disguise whatsoever even though she knows she's a goddamn fugtive and is actively being closed in on.
[–]The Brain Surgeon is having tea with his mom who is luring him there so Dexter can kill him. At first she wanted to be a mommy, but then she saw a video of her son doing what she already knew he did to Zach so she's now ok with him dying.
[–]She invites her son over for tea and lights the room up nice and scary for the viewer. A single spotlight glares down on her little tea set. It gave off an Are You Afraid of the Dark vibe.
[–]The Brain Surgeon, who we are supposed to believe harbored hatred for his mother for most of his life, has gone through incredibly elaborate schemes to fuck with her, basically slits her throat without a second thought and uses her as a scary prop so he can fuck with his real target, a guy named Dexter he doesn't know at all.
[–]Dexter runs in and the other guy does a ninja vanish, or just kind of watches and snickers while Dexter hugs the dude's dead mom.

TL;DR mindless 'dexter sux now' rambling

[Rantz]

My thoughts on the series finale...

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[Shauna]

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Wow

[LunarWeaver]

Where did Harrison's stitches go? The biggest mystery of all. The ending gave me a The Dark Knight Rises vibe but in a troutty way. At least it's finally over. It's funny, I never liked Rita as a character and was happy when she died, but the show never recovered from her death. I should be careful what I wish for!

[McLovin']

Boring as smurf. No epic soundtrack either? No internal monologue? This was such a trout finale. This show was over when Rita died. That's the series finale for me. Or maybe after the first few after she died. Then it's done.

[Shiny]

What the smurf did I just watch. Season four was the best season, but it should've ended with season 5 being LaGuardia's and Deb's revelations. Saxon , that random British lady, that crap with Deb being randomly in love with Dexter (i.e. soap opera crap) should've never existed.

[Inferno]

Damn, that was awful.

Branded lamest ending in recent TV history (http://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/article-2430093/Dexter-series-finale-branded-lamest-ending-recent-TV-history.html)

[Captain Maxx Power]

I'm going to be honest; I've never watched the show. The only reason I'm here is because I'm getting a genuine kick seeing you all bathe in the billowing agony of disappointment. Your tears give me strength! :mymeltitter:

[Shiny]

I'm not disappointed; I expected it to be crap. The series took a nose dive when the original writer left.

[Madame Adequate]

This is what you get for watching past season 4.

[Psychotic]

Finally got caught up. Sort of wish I hadn't. Who the fuck green lights that and thinks "yes this is a good thing!"

[Slothy]

The kind of people who can't come up with anything better.

[Psychotic]

It is literally impossible to write a script for the final episode of Dexter and have it be no better than that. I'll give it a bash:

DEXTER: I was an alien sent to kill humans all along. Now I will return to my home planet.

(A beam of light engulfs DEXTER, who gently floats to the heavens. HANNAH and DEB have tears rolling down their faces. DEXTER looks down, smiles and waves. HANNAH and DEB both manage a smile through their tears)

HANNAH: Now what?

DEB: I don't smurfing know. Let's become smurfing lesbian smurfing lovers together or something.

(HANNAH and DEB throw their arms around each other and begin to passionately make out. The camera slowly pans to the right where we see MASUKA, watching, grinning. He lets out his trademark laugh.)

MASUKA: Huh huh huh huh.

(MASUKA looks directly at the camera)

MASUKA: Th-th-th-that's all folks!

(The screen slowly goes black, centred as a circle on MASUKA's face. As the screen goes completely black, MASUKA reaches his hands through the last hole, pulls the black open, pokes his head through, and lets out a final wink to the "DEXTER leaving apartment sound" and the screen finally goes black.)

[Shlup]

alien > emo lumberjack

[Madame Adequate]

If you're trying to prove that 'anything' would be better you probably shouldn't have written the greatest conclusion to any show in history.

[Calliope]

Best Post Winter Ciddies 2013

[Shiny]

Then it turns in to a spin-off with Masuka fighting aliens. If only.

[Rostum]

It is literally impossible to write a script for the final episode of Dexter and have it be no better than that. I'll give it a bash:

DEXTER: I was an alien sent to kill humans all along. Now I will return to my home planet.

(A beam of light engulfs DEXTER, who gently floats to the heavens. HANNAH and DEB have tears rolling down their faces. DEXTER looks down, smiles and waves. HANNAH and DEB both manage a smile through their tears)

HANNAH: Now what?

DEB: I don't smurfing know. Let's become smurfing lesbian smurfing lovers together or something.

(HANNAH and DEB throw their arms around each other and begin to passionately make out. The camera slowly pans to the right where we see MASUKA, watching, grinning. He lets out his trademark laugh.)

MASUKA: Huh huh huh huh.

(MASUKA looks directly at the camera)

MASUKA: Th-th-th-that's all folks!

(The screen slowly goes black, centred as a circle on MASUKA's face. As the screen goes completely black, MASUKA reaches his hands through the last hole, pulls the black open, pokes his head through, and lets out a final wink to the "DEXTER leaving apartment sound" and the screen finally goes black.)

Holy crap I'd prefer that. This last season of Dexter was completely awful. :\