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Formalhaut
07-06-2013, 07:41 PM
44540

Items. Where would we be without the items that we obtain? As a sky pirate, life and death shouldn't be down to fate, and it is always prudent to stock up on sundries before jettisoning to my next adventure. Indeed, we often forget our items. We purchase a stock of them and store them in our bottomless inventories and forget about them! That is, we forget about them until we have been poisoned by those accursed killer bees, or Fran has gotten herself knocked out again practising with her oaken pole.

And so, perhaps partially because Migelo is sponsoring me to promote his sundries store through these features, I, Balthier, will take you through just some of the items that pervade throughout the lands of Ivalice, and also beyond.

But I couldn't do this alone! While I must admit my travels with Ashe to fight the empire taught me much about alchemy and the effects of items, I couldn't possibly do this by myself. And so, I've brought along a top expert in the field of alchemy. That's right, I've invited 'Master Chemist' Alicia Crescent to assist me!



44531
Alicia here, wearing her field uniform.


So, let's begin with perhaps the most basic, the most staple of items. That's right readers, I'm starting with the potion.



Potion
Commonly Seen: EVERYWHERE
Purpose: Health Restoration, Partying


Right, we all know what a potion does right? It's what they teach Ivalician schoolchildren in their first biology class! They heal and restore wounds, just by chugging them down. It's a hospital in a can, which is a good thing, as during my travels, I have yet to have seen a hospital. Anywhere. No, seriously, think about it a second. An inn does not count as a hospital. There's a bed and perhaps an en suite. In what way will that be useful to you after you've been gored by that behemoth? No, skilled medical staff is what is required. Were it not for potions, there would be many fatalities for sure.

While there are different strengths of potion, there's certainly a wide variety of flavours. Here in Rabanastre, potions are harked at every street corner. Did you know that there are over fifty different flavours of potions in the Muthru Bazaar? It's true. Everything from 'fiery bomb' flavour to a flavour that is suitable to those who are lactose intolerant (the active ingredient of Ivalician potions is milk). But what potions excel in for combat, they also excel in for party revellers and purveyors of a good time! Indeed, potions are the most popular beverage in all of Ivalice. In Balfonheim, drunken brawls became so frequent that that the amount of milk contained in each potion was actually reduced in an attempt to save the port's already shaky reputation!


Alicia: 44532
"Did you know, Balthier, that 'fiery bomb' flavour potion has recently been voted the Sandsea's favourite beverage? Beating out close rivals 'yensa drought' and 'cheese and onion' the 'fiery bomb' is concocted by blending several hot ingredients together. First, bomb ashes are mixed with milk before being infused with the krakka pepper found in Phon coast. The resulting potion is a strong drink! Spicier than a purobolos curry that is."


And that leads me on to my next piece of advice: just how can you save precious gil on buying your favourite drink?

You could go to the cheaper end of the market, but like with many things, you get what you pay for. Many of these cheap potions taste dry and bitter, and are more like taking medicine. I mean, technically, potions are medicine, but I don't want to have it taste like it, you know? Deary me, my smooth eloquence is failing me on this particular occasion!

Heading higher up the shelf, you have these lovely authentic Rozarrian potions. While incredibly expensive, these potions taste like a sweet kiss from an elegant lady. They even come in these ornate containers made of crystal. They really are a quality purchase: apparently, when Vaan was off to procure foodstuffs for Vayne Solidor's parade he was getting exactly these beauties. Still, for the average sky pirate like me, they are a rare treat...



44533
But thankfully there's a 20% sale on potions in Migelo's Sundries!





Of course, you could always make your own, but be warned, it's highly dangerous. Colloquially called 'croakers' over the unusually high death rate, Alicia here describes how exactly one would go about brewing a 'croaker'.



Alicia:44532
"It's actually a fairly easy concoction if your in a laboratory with full safety gear on! Unfortunately, many people forgo basic precautionary measure, hence where it gets it's unfortunate name. Firstly, you need the milk; the higher the quality, the better the resulting 'croaker'. You place roughly 200ml of the milk in a very large saucepan, and heat that up until it reaches the boil. The next step is crucial - whatever flavour of potion you want depends on what you put in! A fan favourite of mine is to add some vanilla extract drops, and then throw some petals from a flowering cactuar. It's a tough hunt, but this hardy chemist can handle it! Throw in whatever ingredients you desire, and then take it off the boil, and allow to cool. The resulting brew is tasty and sweet. It's a wonder why anyone bothers buying them!"



44534
Yeah. What could possibly go wrong?

However another place you could regularly find potions are on foes. Indeed, often did I see Vaan steal a potion from a bangaa bandit, or even something as strange as a dire wolf! I often thought this strange. What use would a dire wolf or any other such beast possibly glean from a potion?

Scientists at Rabanastre University recently discovered that beasts in fact do gain the same health restoring benefits from potions as humans do. The scientists threw a potion at an injured wild dire wolf, and it stopped flashing red, a sign of the potion's effectiveness. The scientists were then all killed as the dire wolf turned on them using it's restored strength.


44535
They start off cute...


Nonetheless, the research doesn't tell us why they have them on their person in the first place. Many theories surround why beasts seem to have potions on them. Some suggest that careless travelers drop their potions and the local beasts ingest them, lodging in their stomachs. When said beast is slain by sword, arrow, bare fist, whatever, the potion is then gifted to the slayer, albeit lined with digestive juices. Other theorists suggest that we actually live in a matrix like system, what they call a 'video game', and that such beasts innately hold useful items like these to aid the 'player'. Critics quickly point out that such notions are laughable and reassure us that the world is perfectly real.


44536
A photograph of Vaan slaying a dire wolf. Supporters of the 'video game' theory see this as evidence that items emanate out of thin air. Critics respond by saying that this photograph has been doctored


But now, let's take a small break from this article for a serious announcement, funded by Migelo's Sundries. Please, please do take the time to read this, if nothing else. It could seriously save your life.



http://home.eyesonff.com/images/eoff_smilies/icon4.gif Below Is A Public Safety Announcement, Sponsored By Migelo's Sundries http://home.eyesonff.com/images/eoff_smilies/icon4.gif


However you obtain the potions, it's clear that many people enjoy using them. However, it is possible to become addicted to potions, much like any other drug. Drinking too many potions can result in slurred speech, delusions and insanity. Our resident expert Alicia explains why:


Alicia: 44532
"As we all know, Ivalician potions contain milk as the active ingredient. With normal use, this is perfectly harmless, but repeated ingestion can cause the milk to become literally 'seeped' in to the drinker's cells and tissues. The effects of the Mist can then affect the milk in our bodies, causing slight disorientation. If treated, this is a perfectly normal side effect and a common sight in late night drinking sessions in the Sandsea. If untreated, chronic usage can cause permanent mental damage. As the milk used in potions is almost invariably cow's milk, insensitive types coin this as 'mad cow's disease'. How unpleasant!"



44537

​Reks here, in Rabanastre's top rehabilitation facility for potion addiction



Biology aside, the effects can be grave. In this section, I gained a small message from Cloud Strife, a resident of Midgar, about his struggle with addiction from potions. He sent me this appeal to make sure that others didn't fall into the same trap he did.

44538 Cloud Strife:
"It began when I was in SOLDIER. At first, the command said to drink these, to boost your strength. So I complied. And at first, it really did the trick. I felt stronger, and more energetic. My muscle mass also increased so I could finally wield this hefty sword. I didn't know what they put in these potions though, they tasted different from the usual variety. Either way, I became addicted to them. Other comrades also succumbed. At first, I just thought I was ill. I felt sluggish, and had awful headaches, almost as if someone was trying to enter in and speak to me. Eventually, this became worse and worse, until I was eventually kicked out of SOLDIER. Thankfully, I had my childhood friend Tifa support me through the process of detoxing myself. It was a long process, and I relapsed several times often at the worst times, such as when I was handling materia, but thanks to her support, I pulled through. I've now been potion-free for several months now, and I have to say to everyone: not to become so addicted to potions as I did. If you, or someone you know, is addicted to potions, then please phone the AVALANCHE support group at 000-224-135.

Of course, now I keep getting knocked out in battle because I refuse to drink potions, but there's pros and cons."


http://home.eyesonff.com/images/eoff_smilies/icon4.gif Thank You For Taking The Time To Read Our Public Safety Announcement http://home.eyesonff.com/images/eoff_smilies/icon4.gif


Cloud there, with a truly harrowing tale of his addiction, and how he sought help. However, if managed responsibly, then potions can be a great asset to you in battle and out socialising. Reasonably priced, cost-effective, and delicious, what more could this dashing, respectable sky pirate need?


Alicia: 44532
"Some humility would be great."
44539Balthier:
"Heeeeeeey...!"

And with that, this feature on potions has now drawn to a close, and thank you for spending to time to read it! Feel free to comment on your experiences on potions: What's your favourite potion flavour? Have you tried creating your own drink at home? Have you been addicted to potions and if so, what was your experiences of that tragic time? Any comments can be sent to me directly via my personal assistant Nono.

http://home.eyesonff.com/images/eoff_smilies/icon2.gif Next Month: All about Phoenix Downs! With a debate with Minwu, the white mage of Mysidia!

Scotty_ffgamer
07-06-2013, 08:14 PM
This was a fantastic read.

Aulayna
07-06-2013, 08:52 PM
Agreed. I loved it :) The dark humor was brilliantly done!

Scotty_ffgamer
07-06-2013, 10:52 PM
Also, I've never drank a potion. I've seen my friends make their own, and they always tell me to drink it, but I don't want to get hooked on the stuff. There was a time, when I was down, I thought about ordering Elixers from a shady guy from the internet. Then I realized how bad of an idea that was.

Pumpkin
07-07-2013, 12:24 AM
Excellent read. You worked really hard on it and I'm glad to see how well it turned out. Congrats :jess:

Dat Matt
07-07-2013, 06:42 PM
Great read! I can't wait to find out the history behind Hi-Potions, and Mega Potions!

Depression Moon
07-08-2013, 07:12 AM
Fun and Hilarious!