Lies my parents told me

[Jinx]

That peas were filled with peanut butter so I'd eat them.


What are some (non-hurtful and silly) lies your parents told you? Lies you've told your children? Lies you might/will tell your children?

[Pike]

I honestly can't think of any.

Other than Santa Claus I guess.

[Yar]

They told me they loved me.


:cry:

[Sephex]

http://i148.photobucket.com/albums/s26/Sephex/1289265019334.gif

[Pike]

...Sephex what

[Shorty]

Yeah, I'll tell my kids about Santa and the Easter bunny and tooth fairy. May as well.

I can't think of any lies my parents told me.

[NorthernChaosGod]

Santa/tooth fairy/Easter bunny/etc. That's it.

[Tigmafuzz]

"Parents?"

[Shlup]

My mom told me she forgot when she and my dad got married. Did not figure out she was lying until I was 24 and found photos of their wedding where you could see she was very pregnant.

[Raistlin]

My mom told me she forgot when she and my dad got married. Did not figure out she was lying until I was 24 and found photos of their wedding where you could see she was very pregnant.

... xD

You were a surprisingly credulous youth, Shluppers. Didn't you also believe in Santa well into double-digits?

My parents did the usual Santa/tooth fairy thing, though I stopped believing in them after I was about 4 or 5. I can't think of any other "lies."

[Miriel]

My Mom told me that if I slept in a room with the fan on and the doors/windows closed, that I would die. :eyebrow:

[Denmark]

My Mom told me that if I slept in a room with the fan on and the doors/windows closed, that I would die. :eyebrow:

this is a fairly widely-held belief in South Korea actually. Fan death - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fan_death)

i can't think of anything out of the ordinary my parents did. they were pretty straightforward with me.

[Pumpkin]

Umm, Santa exists guys?

Adults that I've lived with and my mother liked to lie to me about their excessive drug use, if that counts.

[sharkythesharkdogg]

I want to laugh harder at fan death, but we have our own really stupid culture-based misconceptions.

My parents told me when I was very little, as long as they didn't act alarmed, I could hurt myself (minor stuff) and not really be phased by it. If I fell and scraped myself or burned myself, they said afterwords I would glance over at them. If they made a fuss I'd get concerned. If they didn't, I would grunt and keep going.

I guess that's a close as it gets other than Santa Claus.

[Chemical]

Nothing about my parents comes straight to mind... but when I was around 4 my grampy told me that the lumps in gravy were turtles and I refused to eat gravy well until I was in my teens. Mostly I was scarred and just disgusted by gravy ... and then I met poutine.

[Araciel]

"Don't worry son, it'll grow"

[Quindiana Jones]

My philosophy professor taught her son from birth that what we know as a spoon is called a "cup", and that pen was "pencil" and vice versa. She finally revealed the truth when he was 6 or 7, I think. He kept getting in trouble at school, and his dad started cottoning on after a while.

[Chemical]

My philosophy professor taught her son from birth that what we know as a spoon is called a "cup", and that pen was "pencil" and vice versa. She finally revealed the truth when he was 6 or 7, I think. He kept getting in trouble at school, and his dad started cottoning on after a while.

This is why having a psychologist or pholisopher for a parent would really fuck up your brain.

[noxious.sunshine]

...... Hmmm...

Oh. Weed. They lied. They've been anti-pot since forever ago and then my mom up and tells me she and my dad got stoned one time while my brother & sister were at school. I nearly died. My dad said something about trying it once a long time ago, but he didn't like it, but then my mom tells me she smoked -with- my dad. And that ho is Catholic!

[Shlup]

My mom told me she forgot when she and my dad got married. Did not figure out she was lying until I was 24 and found photos of their wedding where you could see she was very pregnant.

... xD

You were a surprisingly credulous youth, Shluppers. Didn't you also believe in Santa well into double-digits?

My parents did the usual Santa/tooth fairy thing, though I stopped believing in them after I was about 4 or 5. I can't think of any other "lies."
I believed in Santa until I was 8. Mostly because I wanted to. I still remember the bitch who told me Santa wasn't real; I was like "You had to go there, you whore." Something like that.

I believed my mom because I asked her when I was little and then never gave it any thought.


My Mom told me that if I slept in a room with the fan on and the doors/windows closed, that I would die. :eyebrow:
This is the thing that makes me want to go to Korea the most--I sleep with two fans on in my room and I want to do that in Korea just to lord my Western superiority.

[Jowy]

This happened when I was five:

So they have this thing called the Lazy River in the water park back at home. You just lie back on an innertube and follow the current. There's a few hazards along the way like a waterfall and fiberglass frog that spews water. Anyway, there's a sign that says "ENTERING SHARK INFESTED WATERS" with a super-scary painting of a shark eating children. I fucking wig out and start trying to paddle upstream to save myself. My aunt senses my fear and floats over, looks me dead in the eye and says:

"You had an older brother who got eaten by a shark on this ride. Your mom never told you because she was really sad about it."

Freak out, cry more, sit in the kiddy pool the rest of the day. I learned that sharks can't live in chlorinated water shortly after that though!

[Tigmafuzz]

This happened when I was five:

So they have this thing called the Lazy River in the water park back at home. You just lie back on an innertube and follow the current. There's a few hazards along the way like a waterfall and fiberglass frog that spews water. Anyway, there's a sign that says "ENTERING SHARK INFESTED WATERS" with a super-scary painting of a shark eating children. I smurfing wig out and start trying to paddle upstream to save myself. My aunt senses my fear and floats over, looks me dead in the eye and says:

"You had an older brother who got eaten by a shark on this ride. Your mom never told you because she was really sad about it."

Freak out, cry more, sit in the kiddy pool the rest of the day. I learned that sharks can't live in chlorinated water shortly after that though!

Haha I love hearing about adults trolling kids.

[Yerushalmi]

If I fell and scraped myself or burned myself, they said afterwords I would glance over at them. If they made a fuss I'd get concerned. If they didn't, I would grunt and keep going.

That's the case with every single child I've ever met - all my siblings, all my cousins, both my own children, and other people's kids as well. They cry to get attention far more often than they cry from actual pain, and if you learn not to fuss over it it will be much easier to know when there is actual pain.

[Jowy]

whoa man your signature is weird lookin'

[Yerushalmi]

whoa man your signature is weird lookin'

What are you talking about, my signature is AWESOME.

[Pike]

It's showing up as a bunch of gobbledygook code for me. It only seems to want to properly display itself to me sometimes :(

[The Man]

It's working fine for me in Chrome, but I haven't tried other browsers. I didn't even know vBulletin had well enough defined elements to do that. Pretty badass. I doubt it'd work in vB3.x though.

edit: Whether it works seems to depend on what style set you're using. It depends on some elements that are censored in NeoClassic and its child styles (specifically, the JavaScript "o<!-- -->nload" modifier), but it seems to work fine in other style sets. I didn't test them all.

@topic, I only remember stuff like Santa Claus and whatnot, but there might have been other stuff. Also religion, if you consider that to count (it's debatable).

[Dignified Pauper]

My grandfather used to tell me that Thunder was just a giant dropping a sack of potatoes into the clouds. I never believed him, but I'd chuckle at his anecdotes. He had all sorts of strange short tall-tales like that.

[Tigmafuzz]

My grandfather used to tell me that Thunder was just a giant dropping a sack of potatoes into the clouds. I never believed him, but I'd chuckle at his anecdotes. He had all sorts of strange short tall-tales like that.

I thought it was the gods bowling.

[Raistlin]

My mom told me she forgot when she and my dad got married. Did not figure out she was lying until I was 24 and found photos of their wedding where you could see she was very pregnant.

... xD

You were a surprisingly credulous youth, Shluppers. Didn't you also believe in Santa well into double-digits?

My parents did the usual Santa/tooth fairy thing, though I stopped believing in them after I was about 4 or 5. I can't think of any other "lies."
I believed in Santa until I was 8. Mostly because I wanted to. I still remember the bitch who told me Santa wasn't real; I was like "You had to go there, you whore." Something like that.

I actually said that just to try to provoke you to give your actual age, since you refused in a thread I made about Rye's gullibility many years ago, making fun of her for being 9 when she found out about Santa. At least you didn't cry like she did. :p

[Pike]

My mom told me she forgot when she and my dad got married. Did not figure out she was lying until I was 24 and found photos of their wedding where you could see she was very pregnant.

... xD

You were a surprisingly credulous youth, Shluppers. Didn't you also believe in Santa well into double-digits?

My parents did the usual Santa/tooth fairy thing, though I stopped believing in them after I was about 4 or 5. I can't think of any other "lies."
I believed in Santa until I was 8. Mostly because I wanted to. I still remember the bitch who told me Santa wasn't real; I was like "You had to go there, you whore." Something like that.

I actually said that just to try to provoke you to give your actual age, since you refused in a thread I made about Rye's gullibility many years ago, making fun of her for being 9 when she found out about Santa. At least you didn't cry like she did. :p

I still win the Santa Claus thing because I was like 14.

I think I sort of knew that Santa wasn't real for a few years before that but I was terrified that if I wrongly stopped believing then he'd stop bringing me presents so I decided to play it safe.

[Agent Proto]

You can be whatever you want to be when you grow up.

[Pike]

You can be whatever you want to be when you grow up.

Related: "Having a college degree is an instant ticket into any job."

:crying2:

[Goldenboko]

That I'd hit a growth spurt.

[Raistlin]

I still win the Santa Claus thing because I was like 14.

I think I sort of knew that Santa wasn't real for a few years before that but I was terrified that if I wrongly stopped believing then he'd stop bringing me presents so I decided to play it safe.

Pascal's Wager: the Santa Claus version.

[Freya]

Between my jerk older siblings and my onery dad, I was a gullible child.



My dad and siblings had me convinced I was adopted til I was about 10 because I was the only one in my family that had curly hair. Problem is I look the most like my father than any of them.
They had me convinced at 8 that the aspen tree's eyes were watching me and if I looked away they'd kidnap me.
When I was 7, if I skied off on my own, the skifree monster WOULD get me.
Throughout my childhood and even into my teenage years, they (Specially my father) told me that tapioca pudding has fish eyes in it. I still kinda think they are now saying it was a joke just to get me to eat fish eyes.


I'm sure there are loads of others but I can't think this morning. Let's just say i'm REALLY gullible. Which is why I like journalism because I have to look for facts to report something. I HAVE TO HAVE FACTS. I'm more skeptical now cause of all those LIES they had me believe as a kid but I'm still very much gullible.

[Cloudane]

Some of the things parents say strike me as giving kids potential phobias and psychological issues... sleep in a room with windows shut and you'll die? Pretty harsh worry to give someone :/


Apart from the usual santa etc,
"Eat your crusts, it'll make your hair curl"
Not sure why this was an attractive proposition as a kid :confused:

[Calliope]

Last weekend Spuuky's family were helping us move house and they brought our niece and nephew along, both of whom are under age 5.

Nephew: Auntie Nicky, will you play hide and seek with us?
Nicky: Yeah, okay! You guys go hide, I'll come find you!
Nephew: Okay! *runs off*
Nicky: Okay, you better hide! One....two...three...
Nephew: *giggling*
Nicky: *walks out of the house and down the street, away from the children*

Bah. Other people's children.

[Rebellious Eagle]

My philosophy professor taught her son from birth that what we know as a spoon is called a "cup", and that pen was "pencil" and vice versa. She finally revealed the truth when he was 6 or 7, I think. He kept getting in trouble at school, and his dad started cottoning on after a while.

This is why having a psychologist or pholisopher for a parent would really smurf up your brain.

Hey, my goal is to become a psychologist and also have kids...I'm not going to play mind games with my kids or anything :confused:

[Shorty]

Between my jerk older siblings and my onery dad, I was a gullible child.



My dad and siblings had me convinced I was adopted til I was about 10 because I was the only one in my family that had curly hair. Problem is I look the most like my father than any of them.

ahahah ohhhh I just remembered one. My dad told us that we all were conceived from my mother banging the milkman because none of us look even remotely like him at all. (But we all look incredibly different, so maybe there were four milkmen idk.)

[Raistlin]

Hey, my goal is to become a psychologist and also have kids...I'm not going to play mind games with my kids or anything :confused:

Then what's the point in having kids? :confused:

[Tigmafuzz]

When I was 7, if I skied off on my own, the skifree monster WOULD get me.

Hehe.

[Yerushalmi]

I have made it a principle that I will never lie to my kids. I had so many trust issues with my own parents (which I do not want to make public in any fashion) that this is, to me, an iron law. My children already know that they can ask me any question and I will answer as honestly as I can. That every decision I make has a logical reasoning behind it that I will explain to them in full. And when they inevitably ask me awkward questions or make requests whose answers or reasons are not appropriate for their age, I will tell them that I have a reason and that they should just trust me.

Now, that last bit is common to most parents - but if I work hard enough on the first half, instances of the latter will be infrequent enough (and my children will be so used to the idea that their daddy has a good reason for everything) that they actually will trust me.

[Iceglow]

My older brother had me convinced of two lies when I was a little kid they were as follows:

1) My teachers were in fact androids as in the type from Aliens. This as a small child made me behave more at school than anything else as I was genuinely more terrified of the character Bishop from the movie Aliens than of any of the Aliens.

2) Santa was a martian who had a rocket ship, how else did he get around the world in one night. This was because I was a kid obsessed with planes and flight. I knew it took hours and hours to fly anywhere even at supersonic speeds. Otherwise my mom and him would have had to explain to a very young Steve and my sister why Santa wasn't real. I've continued this family tradition to my nephews and nieces.

[Pike]

I was genuinely more terrified of the character Bishop from the movie Aliens than of any of the Aliens.

Oh man, Bishop is the best character in any movie, ever

[Iceglow]

I was genuinely more terrified of the character Bishop from the movie Aliens than of any of the Aliens.

Oh man, Bishop is the best character in any movie, ever

I was like 5 years old! Aliens I could deal with, people with milk for blood? fuck that! After I grew up I appreciated the beauty of Bishop.

[Madonna]

Between my jerk older siblings and my onery dad, I was a gullible child.

My dad and siblings had me convinced I was adopted til I was about 10 because I was the only one in my family that had curly hair. Problem is I look the most like my father than any of them.

ahahah ohhhh I just remembered one. My dad told us that we all were conceived from my mother banging the milkman because none of us look even remotely like him at all. (But we all look incredibly different, so maybe there were four milkmen idk.)You look like your sisters. I cannot see otherwise despite trying.

My parents told me they met at a bank robbery. In fact, my father has lied to me my entire life; the whoppers never stop, and interrogation only get you well-spun spur of the moment backstories. It is best not to talk to him.