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Jiro
08-16-2013, 05:07 AM
Barret had fallen from Sector 5, instead of Cloud? Would things have gone the same way at all?

(The stage awaits you, Sephex.)

Side note: did we ever find out how President Shinra knew to be there, outside of the security scan gone wrong? Seems awfully convenient that there was a whole goddamn squad there, but then Biggs, Wedge, and Jessie all die fighting against Shinra so they're unlikely to be spilling the beans. (UNLESS...!)

qwertysaur
08-16-2013, 05:42 AM
Barret in drag

VeloZer0
08-16-2013, 06:00 AM
Due to his increased mass and non mako-infused constitution he probably would have made a big splat.

I'm imagining everyone would have ended up in jail in Shinra HQ sooner or later anyways.

comma
08-16-2013, 06:03 AM
It depends how tolerant Aerith is of diversity. She clearly wouldn't have treated Barret the same way she treated Cloud. She probably would have trotted the line of respect for other cultures but wouldn't have been able to transcend race and truly connect with Barret on a personal level. Barret might have simply gotten out of there as fast as possible out of fear Aerith would claim rape. And who would believe a large, black immigrant from North Corel over an innocent, church-going white girl? No, it wouldn't have played out well at all.

Jinx
08-16-2013, 12:44 PM
Assuming the fall broke his spine, he would've gotten a tank for his legs and his penis could be that shooter thing.

Jiro
08-16-2013, 01:07 PM
One possibility I entertained is this:

Barret scares the living shit out of Aerith. I can't remember if Aerith remembered Cloud or not from their first encounter, but given her personality, I don't think she would approach the situation much differently. Barret is way less courteous, and steps all up in the flowers, which angers Aerith. But just as she's about to ask him to leave, Reno shows up.

Barret knows the suits. Aerith is about to do her spiel about getting out of there, but Barret opens fire and almost guns down Reno. (Reno, being the astute and observant Turk that he is, realises that the guy with the gun arm is the guy with the gun arm and ducks for cover.)

There's a shoot out, and the Church gets torn up pretty bad :( After taking some casualties, Reno and his troops fall back to get reinforcements. This gives Aerith and Barret a chance to escape. They make it back to Aerith's house, as normal, except obviously a) Elmyra doesn't approve of the big scary black dude with a gun for an arm and b) Barret doesn't want to bring Shinra's fucking army to their doorstep and/or Aerith mentions the fact that they know where she lives and will probably expect them there.

Cue Metal Gear Solid crossover, where Barret must stalk his way through Shinra forces to make it to Wall Market. (I've just realised now that Tifa and Barret split up pretty quick, without even bothering to look for Cloud or anything. Seriously, it's like, less than 24 hours before Tifa is slutting it up for the Don.)

I expect Cloud and Tifa would have already squeezed the Don's name out of whatever weasel, and gone to investigate. They all meet here, and Barret rejoins the party, but they are shocked to find out that Aerith followed them for plot reasons because she was concerned about her saviour. Instead of cross-dressing to get in, they just assault the Don's mansion and extract the data. Barret's presence somehow makes them a little more intelligent and aware, so they don't fall for the old trapdoor trick, and then they rush to try and stop shit at the pillar where Biggs, Wedge, and Jessie are getting their asses handed to them.

Game continues almost normally from there. Almost.

Spooniest
08-16-2013, 05:48 PM
Barrett isn't without concern for others' things. Even in your narrative, which is amazing by the way, you say that he realizes he's going to lead the Shinra to them if he stays. He wouldn't trample the flowers or be rude to Aerith. He's brusque with Tifa from time to time, but never rude or violent.

Red Mage Coffman
08-16-2013, 06:16 PM
Barret had fallen from Sector 5, instead of Cloud? Would things have gone the same way at all?

(The stage awaits you, Sephex.)

Side note: did we ever find out how President Shinra knew to be there, outside of the security scan gone wrong? Seems awfully convenient that there was a whole goddamn squad there, but then Biggs, Wedge, and Jessie all die fighting against Shinra so they're unlikely to be spilling the beans. (UNLESS...!)

Dude.. We have to go deeper.

What if Barret switched roles with Cloud entirely, but kept the same overall attitude..? Just.. Just imagine all of this.. Imagine how different the overall experience would have been..

Mercen-X
08-16-2013, 08:59 PM
Due to his increased mass and non mako-infused constitution he probably would have made a big splat.

I'm imagining everyone would have ended up in jail in Shinra HQ sooner or later anyways.
You've stoled me mind, freak!

Assuming he survived... waking up in the church, Barret would apologize about the flowers and promptly attempt to leave noting the look of shear terror on Aerith's face at encountering a giant black man with a gun for a prosthetic. He would then bump into Reno on the way out who would react much the same way as Aerith, falling back to a "safe" distance and ordering his men to apprehend the "big golem". As Jiro said, there would be a shootout and Barret would win (presuming the reason his presence at the pillar didn't help because he was holding back to prevent damaging the pillar). Reno would fall back to summon reinforcements and Aerith would suggest Barret take the back way out to avoid attention. Barret would tell Aerith to stay in the church thinking the Turks are after him but she would follow after him anyway.

Aerith would follow Barret all the way through to Sector 7 where they would encounter the ShinRa troops moving in to attack the pillar. Barret would ask Aerith to grab Marlene and keep her safe as he ran to the pillar seeing AVALANCHE already making their way up.

Of course, in truth, if we only switched the roles and not the perspective, then we would see none of this only hearing about it when Cloud returned after helping Tifa interrogate the Don.

If Cloud had been up on the cat walk with Tifa, he would have succumbed to her complaints about having to find Barret. Curious how Shinra knew about their attack on the second reactor, Cloud would interrogate Biggs, Jessie, and Wedge all of whom would deny any ties and Tifa would vouch for them. A member of AVALANCHE catches a spy trying to run to Sector 6. The squeeze him for the Don and Tifa and Cloud head to Wall Market to have a talk with him. Tifa not being a silly as Aerith or recognizably weak goes into the Don's alone while Cloud waits outside. Tifa returns a few minutes later with what she got out of the don.

They return to Sector 6 to see Aerith entering Sector 7. Upon their return, they see Barret making his way up the pillar with Biggs, Jessie, and Wedge and run to join him. Tifa stops to consider Marlene, but a shopkeep nearby informs her that she's safe. At the top of the pillar with odds 6:1, Reno cannot engage the pillar detonation and is forced to retreat.

Sephex
08-22-2013, 01:35 AM
During the fall, Barret would start shooting towards the ground to slow his decent. Only he accidentally shoots and kills Aeris. Her White Materia falls out of her hair like usual, and bounces away as per usual. When Barret lands, his ass lands straight on it and the materia gets lodged right in his southern crater like a greased up seal attending a stripper convention.

Obviously, the party never meet Aeris. The key difference, however, is that before Sephiroth has a chance to use the Black Materia, Barret pulls a bait and switch on the villain by pooping it in his inventory screen when Sephiroth was checking GameFAQs for cheat codes. So Sephiroth is all like, "Ha, I summed meteor!" Barret says, "Nah foo', yo plan be a s***** as the mines of Corel on a hot summer Sunday! Incidentally, yo hand now know what my asshole be like back in those days."

So that lifestream crap fires off for no reason and Sephiroth vomits so much he dies. However, Barret couldn't get over his ass stuffing fetish and dies attempting to shove the Buster Sword up his Cosmo Canyon.

Mercen-X
08-22-2013, 04:00 AM
BANNED

theundeadhero
08-25-2013, 01:47 AM
His post is well hidden in the deep secrets of FFVII. Unless someone reports him, he's safe.