Finding a use for a seemingly useless superpower

[Tigmafuzz]

Post a seemingly useless superpower, or try to figure out how to make use of a superpower that someone else has posted.

Solar-powered night vision.

[Loony BoB]

Solar power actually doesn't disappear the moment the sun goes down, so this could still be effective. This is why solar powered torches exist. With that said, the obvious use is to see in the dark.

As for a seemingly useless device... submarine windscreen wiper.

[Skyblade]

Perfect for cleaning condensation that builds up on windows due to temperature differentials between the ocean and your vessel's controlled environment. You just place them inside the windows, not outside. :)

Also, Dazzler has a great power, she was just too stupid to ever use it effectively (at least in her original incarnation). The ability to convert sound into light? Pair with Banshee, and you have a perfectly sustainable, extremely high power laser. And that's a simple use. Heck, she's practically Captain America's shield (sounds are vibrations, after all, so nullifying vibratory energy is certainly something she can do), and that's just her defense. Explosives typically work via overpressure waves, which means that she could probably absorb/redirect those as well. The term "bomb-pumped laser" comes to mind.

[Tigmafuzz]

submarine windscreen wiper.

For when you slam into fish underwater and need to wipe their guts off the screen.


Also, Dazzler has a great power, she was just too stupid to ever use it effectively (at least in her original incarnation). The ability to convert sound into light? Pair with Banshee, and you have a perfectly sustainable, extremely high power laser. And that's a simple use. Heck, she's practically Captain America's shield (sounds are vibrations, after all, so nullifying vibratory energy is certainly something she can do), and that's just her defense. Explosives typically work via overpressure waves, which means that she could probably absorb/redirect those as well. The term "bomb-pumped laser" comes to mind.

...Okay. I guess that goes in this thread.


Anyway: the ability to fly at Mach 1, but only downwards.

[Jiro]

You'd make a great tactical nuke.EDIT: and besides, downwards is relative, so you could probably function alright in space.

[Loony BoB]

Without the power to survive an impact while traveling at mach one, let alone the power to fly, I would say there is exactly no purpose whatsoever given that you couldn't control it in any way whatsoever.

Jiro, you have to come up with another seemingly useless power! And I just realised that it's power, not device, so my one was rather pointless. Oops. I'll come up with another one, then: The ability to grow your hair exactly 25% faster than normal.

[Skyblade]

Without the power to survive an impact while traveling at mach one, let alone the power to fly, I would say there is exactly no purpose whatsoever given that you couldn't control it in any way whatsoever.

Actually, Jiro did state fly at Mach 1. Also, depending on which definition you use, flight can easily refer to controlled travel (versus gliding or other means of air conveyance).

However, the incredible restrictions do make it difficult to use. If that is the exact limit of your power, engaging it would either break the universe or kill you instantly. Or both. Since you can only fly at Mach 1, there could be no other speeds used for acceleration purposes.

Of course, if we assume that the power itself is controlled, depending on how it worked, it could save your life. You fall off a cliff and immediately turn the power on. When the power stops (either from you turning it off, or if it is automatically cancelled once you hit the ground, as "flight" is only possible through air) it could restore your pre-power speed, which means you'd hit the ground at a much more leisurely pace.


Jiro, you have to come up with another seemingly useless power!

Actually, the thread said post one or find use for one someone else posted. Not both. And I'm way better at thinking up uses than I am useless powers.


And I just realised that it's power, not device, so my one was rather pointless. Oops. I'll come up with another one, then: The ability to grow your hair exactly 25% faster than normal.

Define "normal". If you mean 25% faster than average, there are plenty of people with such growth rates already, which means it hardly even qualifies it as a power.

As for a use, well, if you're ever stuck on a desert island and need to make a rope of human hair to lash together a couple of sea turtles to escape... That power will make it easier, even if only a little.

[Shauna]

The thread doesn't really work if you don't post up useless powers. Pretty sure it's meant to be make the useless power useful and then post another for the next poster to deal with.

The ability to see exactly 30 seconds into the past.

[LocoColt04]

Is it anyone's past, or only the user's?
If it's the user's, is it from a first-person perspective or a third-person perspective?

If the latter, and then the former, that's EFFIN USELESS MAN, but if the latter and latter again? Could be cool. Definitely situational.


The ability to dictate faster than an auctioneer.

[Mirage]

Without the power to survive an impact while traveling at mach one, let alone the power to fly, I would say there is exactly no purpose whatsoever given that you couldn't control it in any way whatsoever.

Jiro, you have to come up with another seemingly useless power! And I just realised that it's power, not device, so my one was rather pointless. Oops. I'll come up with another one, then: The ability to grow your hair exactly 25% faster than normal.

Assuming you change this to a rate that is actually superhuman (25% faster than average/median growth rates is within human parameters, and therefore not superhuman. Powers that regular humans can possess are by definition not superpowers, just powers), rapid hair growth could earn you some extra money, as you could sell it to people who make hair extensions out of real hair.

[Tigmafuzz]

The ability to grow your hair exactly 25% faster than normal.

I would've gone the Jesus route with "turning water into hair."

[Yerushalmi]

If the latter, and then the former, that's EFFIN USELESS MAN

Guy runs you over, and you managed to glimpse his license plate and memorize the first three digits, so you see through your own eyes thirty seconds ago so you can remember the OTHER three digits. Especially if you can grab a pad and paper and write it down while you're looking at the past.

Heck, that power's good for quite a hell of a lot of witness situations. Guy mugs you on the street? Scrutinize his face carefully at your leisure thirty seconds after he's no longer paying attention to you, so you can better describe it to the cops.

[Mirage]

That is brilliant, actually.

[Loony BoB]

The passive ability to 'hear' the thoughts of every living thing you are within a one mile radius of. That includes dustmites.

[Yerushalmi]

As long as it's accompanied by the ability to focus on a given thought (just like you can focus on a person talking in a crowded, noisy room), that's only slightly weaker than general mind reading. Particularly as dust mites' thoughts aren't very well formed (they do have a brain with a limited capacity for learning from experience (http://www.findaspider.org.au/info/spiderNS.htm), but not much more than that; and yes, dust mites are arachnids).

[Skyblade]

If the latter, and then the former, that's EFFIN USELESS MAN

Guy runs you over, and you managed to glimpse his license plate and memorize the first three digits, so you see through your own eyes thirty seconds ago so you can remember the OTHER three digits. Especially if you can grab a pad and paper and write it down while you're looking at the past.

Heck, that power's good for quite a hell of a lot of witness situations. Guy mugs you on the street? Scrutinize his face carefully at your leisure thirty seconds after he's no longer paying attention to you, so you can better describe it to the cops.

Quite well thought out, except that it's not "at your leisure". You can only look 30 seconds back.

If you got hit by a vehicle, you'd probably be too dazed/shocked to use it. Similarly if you were mugged. You'd need to be looking into the past at the latest 30 seconds after he left your field of view, and that would only give you a single instant of viewing before it started showing you the time when he was already gone.

Sure, it would work if you had an eidetic memory, but if that's the case, you don't need it anyway.

EDIT: Also, sorry, I didn't realize this was Wonder Square. I thought it was General Chat, which is why I was treating it more as a general discussion than a "game".

I am really, really not good at the "thinking new ones up" part, though, so I'm just going to point out that Yerushalmi solved one without putting up a new one, and head on out.

[Yerushalmi]

Quite well thought out, except that it's not "at your leisure". You can only look 30 seconds back.By "at your leisure" I meant not "whenever you like" but rather "once you are no longer in mortal danger".


If you got hit by a vehicle, you'd probably be too dazed/shocked to use it. Similarly if you were mugged. You'd need to be looking into the past at the latest 30 seconds after he left your field of view, and that would only give you a single instant of viewing before it started showing you the time when he was already gone.

Perhaps, but there are a million other situations where it can be useful, like when I see a car running a red light and memorized the "How's my driving" phone number but not the license plate or vice versa (which happens to me rather maddeningly often).


I am really, really not good at the "thinking new ones up" part, though, so I'm just going to point out that Yerushalmi solved one without putting up a new one, and head on out.

I didn't put one up because I don't believe there are any. Unless it's literally not a superpower (like Mirage's point regarding hair growth rates), I don't think there's a single one without some specialized use.

[Tigmafuzz]

The passive ability to 'hear' the thoughts of every living thing you are within a one mile radius of. That includes dustmites.

You'd go insane within a day though, so I wouldn't call that a "power" so much as a curse. Unless you could actually focus on an individual thought, in which case it could come in at least somewhat useful, even if you can't figure out whose thought it is.

The ability to read your own thoughts, but only when you're thinking them. And with a half-second delay.

Now that's useless.

[Yerushalmi]

That's also not a superpower. I can do that myself by thinking a sentence, repeating each syllable twice.

[Skyblade]

The passive ability to 'hear' the thoughts of every living thing you are within a one mile radius of. That includes dustmites.

You'd go insane within a day though, so I wouldn't call that a "power" so much as a curse. Unless you could actually focus on an individual thought, in which case it could come in at least somewhat useful, even if you can't figure out whose thought it is.

The ability to read your own thoughts, but only when you're thinking them. And with a half-second delay.

Now that's useless.

Not necessarily. You hear a thought, you repeat it, hear it again, repeat it, etcetera. It lets you hold on to thoughts for quite a while, though admittedly it would take some concentration.

I'd use it to hang on to dreams, using the recursive loop to last through the period where you normally lose them.


I didn't put one up because I don't believe there are any. Unless it's literally not a superpower (like Mirage's point regarding hair growth rates), I don't think there's a single one without some specialized use.

I agree. That's why I didn't post any either. Ever power I could think of, even when I was trying to think of useless ones, I could find a way to apply.

[LocoColt04]

The ability to read your own thoughts, but only when you're thinking them. And with a half-second delay.

Now that's useless.That's not a superpower! That's a weakness. (I mean, it's also a mental disorder so I don't want to sound rude, but... as character flaws go, it falls into that department.)

But I suppose the point was to FIND a use for useless "powers" and such? Um... to reiterate EXACTLY what your thought process was to someone who said "what?!" when you did a really stupid quick action.



The ability to dictate faster than an auctioneer.

[Tigmafuzz]

Invulnerability to bullets, activated by getting killed with a bullet.

[Yerushalmi]

The ability to read your own thoughts, but only when you're thinking them. And with a half-second delay.

Now that's useless.Even though I don't think it's a superpower, I've thought of a use. If we're living in a world with superpowers, we're clearly in a comic book - and this is exactly the sort of power that would give you immunity to mind control, using the comic book logic "if you can hear what you're thinking half a second after you think it, then you'll hear the difference between your own thoughts and the ones the supervillain is forcing you to think, and you'll break free".

Heck, doesn't that sound exactly like the sort of thing that would be explained at length to nobody but the reader in internal thought bubbles by a third-tier X-Men character?


The ability to dictate faster than an auctioneer.
The ability to speak really really fast? Heck of a lot of uses. You'll get hired for prescription drug commercials, for one.


Invulnerability to bullets, activated by getting killed with a bullet.
Three possible responses:
1) That's not a superpower. If you or I get killed by a bullet, we'd be no longer adversely affected by bullets either.
2) You can get killed and resuscitated via CPR.
3) Do you know how many times people die and come back to life in comic books? :)

[Tigmafuzz]

3) Do you know how many times people die and come back to life in comic books? :)

Fucking Jason Todd.

[Jiro]

smurf you guys I couldn't think of a super power don't try to change the rules on me

[Tigmafuzz]

The ability to change the rules as to what defines something as a superpower.

[Yerushalmi]

The ability to change the rules as to what defines something as a superpower.

Redefine "superpower" to be "the guy who cut me off in traffic", and suddenly he's the only one in the world who has to comply with the terms of the Superpower Registration Act.


Invulnerability to bullets, activated by getting killed with a bullet.

Another use: sacrificing yourself to save others in a shootout. Most people who get hit with a bullet and just die are no good to anyone; your friends can use your invulnerable corpse as cover.