Pull up your Pantz!

[Shorty]

It hasn't quite hit yet here in Americatime, but in the land of the Swedes and the home of the brave, it most certainly is Rantzien's birthday!

Rantzien is one of my favorite people and possibly my best friend on the forums. Despite being both of those things, though, he is not above having jokes made at his expense on his birthday.

Your job as posters in this thread is to iron him out good, but don't make him too depressed :jess: (He's the king of puns, though, so don't leave him any room or he'll walk all over you!) He also love love loves riddles, so if you have no jokes to offer, riddles will please him as well. If you really want to make him really happy, though, I would suggest taking voyeuristic images of elderly women doing dishes through their kitchen windows and send them to him in a zip file as a special present. That's what makes him the happiest of all.

Happy birthday, Pantz! :happybday I hope you

http://rarecrossfit.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/05/treatyoself.jpg

on your special day and that you have a splendid one! :jess:

[Pant Leg Eater from the Bad World]

Oh my goodness Pantz! Tasty times! :happybday

[fire_of_avalon]

FINE LEATHER GOODS.

You're my favorite male Swede out of all the male Swedes that are or have ever been. How great are you? YOU ARE GREAT.

Here is a riddle.

The more there is of me, the less you see. What am I?

[Madame Adequate]

Yeah I like blue suede shoes

[The Man]

Happy birthday :monster:

[Calliope]

Happy Birthday Rantz!

Q: What gets wetter and wetter the more it dries?

[Scotty_ffgamer]

I keep trying to think of riddles, but literally the only thing I can think of is "What have I got in my pocket?"

Anyways, happy birthday!

[Rantz]

The more there is of me, the less you see. What am I?
Cataracts?


Q: What gets wetter and wetter the more it dries?
A promiscuous handmaiden?

Thanks, everybody :jess:

[Psychotic]

Where are the snowdens of yesteryear?

:kiss:

[Pike]

Have a wonderful day Rantz! :jess: :whale:

My brother is in Sweden right now (because his job pays him to go fun places and mine doesn't :crying: ). Shall I have him deliver a singing telegram?

[Freya]

Happy birthday!

http://www.monsters.net/wp-content/uploads/2012/06/whale-of-a-time.jpg

*note i did not draw that*

[escobert]

Happy Birthday Rantz Pantz! <3

[fire_of_avalon]

That is not the answer to my riddle! At least not the one I expected but it works!

[Parker]

i hope you are having a splendid day rantz and i hope you drink some whiskey and think about what a splendid day you have had

[Madame Adequate]

That is not the answer to my riddle! At least not the one I expected but it works!

Yeah that was a pretty impressive answer he gave, I have to admit!

[Rantz]

My brother is in Sweden right now (because his job pays him to go fun places and mine doesn't :crying: ). Shall I have him deliver a singing telegram?
YES


i hope you are having a splendid day rantz and i hope you drink some whiskey and think about what a splendid day you have had

Hello Parker! I had some 12 y o MacCalllan at the pub, it was very good and chocolatey.

Thanks everybody AGAIN :love::love::love:

[noxious.sunshine]

HB Rantzy Pantzy! <333

[Calliope]

Q: What gets wetter and wetter the more it dries?
A promiscuous handmaiden?

Also, a towel!



My brother is in Sweden right now (because his job pays him to go fun places and mine doesn't :crying: ). Shall I have him deliver a singing telegram?

Hello Parker! I had some 12 y o MacCalllan at the pub, it was very good and chocolatey.

Thanks everybody AGAIN :love::love::love:

If I am lucky I'll drink some Jameson on the rocks later and toast you.

*confetti & shots*

[Quindiana Jones]

Where do whores go?

[Quindiana Jones]

Also, I sent you some fine Chinese whores but I forgot to put holes in the boxes, so I have some idea of where those particular whores are going. :(

[kotora]

Congratz Pantz. Hope you're enjoying booze and bitches :monster:


Where do whores go?

Dongguan :monster:

[Elskidor]

Congratulations.


I give advice to others,
yet I know nothing myself.
I am a hitchhiker destined to stay still.

[Jinx]

Congratulations to all the winners. :monster: