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Shorty
11-28-2013, 12:29 AM
It hasn't quite hit yet here in Americatime, but in the land of the Swedes and the home of the brave, it most certainly is Rantzien's birthday!

Rantzien is one of my favorite people and possibly my best friend on the forums. Despite being both of those things, though, he is not above having jokes made at his expense on his birthday.

Your job as posters in this thread is to iron him out good, but don't make him too depressed :jess: (He's the king of puns, though, so don't leave him any room or he'll walk all over you!) He also love love loves riddles, so if you have no jokes to offer, riddles will please him as well. If you really want to make him really happy, though, I would suggest taking voyeuristic images of elderly women doing dishes through their kitchen windows and send them to him in a zip file as a special present. That's what makes him the happiest of all.

Happy birthday, Pantz! :happybday I hope you

http://rarecrossfit.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/05/treatyoself.jpg

on your special day and that you have a splendid one! :jess:

Pant Leg Eater from the Bad World
11-28-2013, 01:01 AM
Oh my goodness Pantz! Tasty times! :happybday

fire_of_avalon
11-28-2013, 03:15 AM
FINE LEATHER GOODS.

You're my favorite male Swede out of all the male Swedes that are or have ever been. How great are you? YOU ARE GREAT.

Here is a riddle.

The more there is of me, the less you see. What am I?

Madame Adequate
11-28-2013, 04:55 AM
Yeah I like blue suede shoes

The Man
11-28-2013, 04:58 AM
Happy birthday :monster:

Calliope
11-28-2013, 06:25 AM
Happy Birthday Rantz!

Q: What gets wetter and wetter the more it dries?

Scotty_ffgamer
11-28-2013, 06:59 AM
I keep trying to think of riddles, but literally the only thing I can think of is "What have I got in my pocket?"

Anyways, happy birthday!

Rantz
11-28-2013, 07:32 AM
The more there is of me, the less you see. What am I?
Cataracts?


Q: What gets wetter and wetter the more it dries?
A promiscuous handmaiden?

Thanks, everybody :jess:

Psychotic
11-28-2013, 07:48 AM
Where are the snowdens of yesteryear?

:kiss:

Pike
11-28-2013, 02:15 PM
Have a wonderful day Rantz! :jess: :whale:

My brother is in Sweden right now (because his job pays him to go fun places and mine doesn't :crying: ). Shall I have him deliver a singing telegram?

Freya
11-28-2013, 04:57 PM
Happy birthday!

http://www.monsters.net/wp-content/uploads/2012/06/whale-of-a-time.jpg

*note i did not draw that*

escobert
11-28-2013, 05:41 PM
Happy Birthday Rantz Pantz! <3

fire_of_avalon
11-28-2013, 06:19 PM
That is not the answer to my riddle! At least not the one I expected but it works!

Parker
11-28-2013, 06:49 PM
i hope you are having a splendid day rantz and i hope you drink some whiskey and think about what a splendid day you have had

Madame Adequate
11-28-2013, 07:15 PM
That is not the answer to my riddle! At least not the one I expected but it works!

Yeah that was a pretty impressive answer he gave, I have to admit!

Rantz
11-28-2013, 08:46 PM
My brother is in Sweden right now (because his job pays him to go fun places and mine doesn't :crying: ). Shall I have him deliver a singing telegram?
YES


i hope you are having a splendid day rantz and i hope you drink some whiskey and think about what a splendid day you have had

Hello Parker! I had some 12 y o MacCalllan at the pub, it was very good and chocolatey.

Thanks everybody AGAIN :love::love::love:

noxious.sunshine
11-28-2013, 08:52 PM
HB Rantzy Pantzy! <333

Calliope
11-28-2013, 11:45 PM
Q: What gets wetter and wetter the more it dries?
A promiscuous handmaiden?

Also, a towel!



My brother is in Sweden right now (because his job pays him to go fun places and mine doesn't :crying: ). Shall I have him deliver a singing telegram?

Hello Parker! I had some 12 y o MacCalllan at the pub, it was very good and chocolatey.

Thanks everybody AGAIN :love::love::love:

If I am lucky I'll drink some Jameson on the rocks later and toast you.

*confetti & shots*

Huckleberry Quin
11-29-2013, 02:07 AM
Where do whores go?

Huckleberry Quin
11-29-2013, 02:08 AM
Also, I sent you some fine Chinese whores but I forgot to put holes in the boxes, so I have some idea of where those particular whores are going. :(

kotora
11-29-2013, 03:31 AM
Congratz Pantz. Hope you're enjoying booze and bitches :monster:


Where do whores go?

Dongguan :monster:

Elskidor
11-29-2013, 05:32 PM
Congratulations.


I give advice to others,
yet I know nothing myself.
I am a hitchhiker destined to stay still.

Jinx
11-29-2013, 05:54 PM
Congratulations to all the winners. :monster: