View Full Version : "I just won't say anything."

01-03-2014, 02:44 AM
Has anyone every said something/posted something that you REALLY want to respond, but you know it'd just start a whole ton of drama?

My old neighbor (who is in her late 40s) made a Facebook post about e-dating. That's great and all. But then she commented about how she attracts douchebags. I really want to tell her than if this is a recurring thing, and she's the common denominator, then maybe she's the problem.


01-03-2014, 02:47 AM
on a daily basis. Sadly over the years I've cared less and less and just started saying what I think.

01-03-2014, 02:54 AM
Yeah. I normally just sick Botchmun on them and leave it at that.

01-03-2014, 03:02 AM
Yes. I hold my tongue on a lot of stuff because I don't want to hurt people. It has less to do with not starting drama. I figure I would rather not make people sad more than I want to say whatever snarky comment. And I hold in a lot of snarky comments. But, I'm not perfect and I do some stupid frustrating things that make people want to scream at me, so I shouldn't judge others too harshly when they do the same.

01-03-2014, 03:19 AM
It is difficult for me to not say what I feel. If it's just a negative comment to an idiot that won't help anyone and will make me look like an asshole, I'll think it instead of saying it. I pick my battles with my mother. 5/10 times arguing I will just walk away, but sometimes I am just in the mood where she does something to shove me over the edge and I have to come back swinging (figuratively speaking). With my sisters, I will pretty much always say something because I'm the jerky bossy alpha female eldest sister of the four of us.

If it's something to do with friends or someone outside the family I care about or how I feel about something that is stressing me and bothering me, I always tell myself I should just keep it to myself and let it pass, but I usually end up saying what it is that's bothering me. It is better for me to get them out instead of letting them sit inside and allow me to grow resentful. Sometimes when I do keep them in, they pass, and the feeling is over like it was never there. If it bothers me enough, though, I will have to say something. Sometimes holding it in for so long makes me let it out in really bad ways, though. I have not found a good medium for addressing things that bother me with other people, and I am bad at it.

Lone Wolf Leonhart
01-03-2014, 03:30 AM
Most threads in EoEO.

I don't like being met with a "You're objectively wrong, now let me passive aggressively talk down to you as I explain why".

01-03-2014, 03:34 AM
I'm the king of calling people out, but honestly, I just prefer to remain silent as opposed to going out on a limb that may break off from under me. Diplomacy is a careful art, not unlike blacksmithing in the work involved and the amount of damage that can be done to you if you screw it up.

01-03-2014, 03:48 AM
I really want to tell her than if this is a recurring thing, and she's the common denominator, then maybe she's the problem.

"i don't like drama"
"if ur looking for a quick hook up look elswhere [all pics are in bars with massive cleavage showing]"
"if u cant handle me at my worst than u dont deserve me at my best"
"must make 100,000K a year [has 2 children/works part time]"
"I listen to everything [freaks the **** out when you talk about music that isn't on the top 40 charts]"
"if u r gonna b wit me u gunna have to have a 5 year plan [aimlessly did nothing in Community College for seven years]"

Okay, I'll stop. My point is two fold. One, most dating profiles are terrible and dating sites, even ones you pay for that are supposedly designed to weed out morons, are just trashy. There are a few good eggs out there, but it's very tough to pull off. And two, those examples I listed are how I feel like the person you described fills out their profile. Okay, she probably has better grammar, but I did that to be a ****ing asshole funny.

On topic: I find myself doing that a lot here, but it's not that I bite my tongue. I just don't want to waste my free time arguing with people. I'm not going to change someone's political, religious, [important stance] on a Final Fantasy board, so why waste my time typing up a seven paragraph essay that will ultimately fall on deaf ears?

On Facebook, I bite my tongue for similar reasons. The difference here is that I'll make mock status updates that is obviously parodying a person or people.

01-03-2014, 04:13 AM
Most threads in EoEO.

01-03-2014, 04:13 AM
I have this friend, not really a friend but we have many mutual friends and end up at the same social gatherings occasionally so we play nice with each other. She's very, uh, vocal about her opinions, and one of those "I'm not like other girls" types y'know? Most of the time I'm just like "well ok then" but sometimes when she describes "other girls" she's describing very specific things that fits a girl she knows. Like, once she posted some kind of anti-"fake" gamer girl thing and said something like "most nerd girls only like Final Fantasy, Mass Effect, The Twilight Zone, Community and Venture Bros, I like some of these things plus [other things]." Basically an oddly specific list of all of the things that I had recently posted about liking a whole bunch. I had this brief moment where I wanted to finally call her out on it, but I knew it would turn into a thing and I decided it wasn't worth it. She's just a really insecure girl and she wants to feel special. Aren't we all insecure girls that want to feel special? :(

Pant Leg Eater from the Bad World
01-03-2014, 04:26 AM
Yeah. All the time. I work with a bunch of homophobic Marines who I know would go ballistic if they found out I was bisexual. And they talk about it and how it is against God and the Bible and everything and I just say nothing or claim not to know the bible, because I don't being an atheist.

There are lots of other things I say nothing about. Facebook friends who talk constantly about politics and government is evil theories and a constant barrage of save all the damned pets. I always want to say something, but I don't because if I did I would be obligated to talk to them about it.

I don't like to start shit because I would feel obligated to finish it and people are dumb. If you don't believe me check out Shlup's thread about gay racism hate in EoEO.

01-03-2014, 04:43 AM
Oh god, speaking of Facebook pictures: ALL THE UGLY BABIES



A pretty baby is more precious than gold on Facebook, really

01-03-2014, 04:46 AM
Oh god, speaking of Facebook pictures: ALL THE UGLY BABIES



A pretty baby is more precious than gold on Facebook, really


01-03-2014, 04:51 AM
Oh god, speaking of Facebook pictures: ALL THE UGLY BABIES



A pretty baby is more precious than gold on Facebook, really


Not all of them. But there are some serious butt-face babies. :(

I told Denmark I really hope that our nephew will be adorable because I just don't know if I can look in the face of an ugly baby and pretend he's precious.

01-03-2014, 05:45 AM
You don't know how hard it's been not posting anything about duck dynasty on facebook. Click share from my twitter/fb app, then very deliberately untap "Facebook".

I was sick of the idea of the show when I left for AR for christmas. Then on the ride to my parents' house from the airport, they start talking about the debacle. And then the next few days, all I see on facebook is people rallying behind these fucks.

oh my goddddddddddddd

I had to pretend I didn't hear anyone talking about it at the family christmas eve dinner.

01-03-2014, 06:04 AM
That usually happens to me multiple times every day.

01-03-2014, 06:28 AM
Most threads in EoEO.

I don't like being met with a "You're objectively wrong, now let me passive aggressively talk down to you as I explain why".There is nothing passive about it. Sometimes people are objectively wrong, and it warrants pointing it out to them.

01-03-2014, 08:34 AM
This site. Seriously I wind up checking my self a lot whenever I browse threads. You have no idea.

01-03-2014, 08:42 AM
There's been many times I've bitten my tongue.. Including here on this forum..

Loony BoB
01-03-2014, 09:36 AM
People consider me to be rather blunt and rather open. And that's when I'm biting my tongue and opting to keep things to myself a lot. God knows how people would react if I said what was on my mind all the time. I imagine that goes for the majority of people out there, though...

01-03-2014, 10:04 AM
I really need to just block my dad on Facebook. And my [bad] sister.

01-03-2014, 10:29 AM
I try to avoid discussion with anyone about anything anymore.

01-03-2014, 11:54 AM
I really don't think people care too much whether I say what's on my mind or not, it hasn't really made much of a difference.

01-03-2014, 06:42 PM
Yeah I do this online a lot.

In real life I had this friend that would bring up a topic that made me extremely uncomfortable. A topic that I didn't agree with and had a lot of objections to. This friend noticed that I just wasn't commenting on it, or saying anything about it and kept trying to get me to tell her what I thought when I was just trying to be neutral. She probably knew on some level what my feelings were. I felt I had to be guarded with this person because the topic itself was trouble IMO. Then once, I did give her an opinion. Well, not an opinion but spoke about something related to that topic (after she had brought it up) and it kind of reached a point of no return from there.

Anyway, she turned completely ugly and I couldn't handle interactions with her anymore. She harassed me to no end over it. Now we don't even speak. I wish I had never said anything and just cut ties with her from the very beginning!

I guess what I learned is always go with your gut. If you feel you shouldn't say anything then don't! (probably will get a lot of disagreement on this but oh well).

01-03-2014, 06:58 PM
i guess everyone or almost everyone kind of does it sometimes. even about small things. i know i do it. it is mostly if it bugs me or if i feel like pointing out how dumb someone is being and i take it back because i do not know if it will do any good or i do not want to start more drama xD

The Man
01-03-2014, 09:50 PM
Yeah, I avoid getting into political arguments on Facebook ever because if I did so I'd never do anything else. Sometimes I get bored of arguments in EoEO when it becomes obvious no one's going to convince anyone of anything too, although this is much rarer.

Unbreakable Will
01-03-2014, 10:51 PM
I tend to speak my mind these days, but in the past I was constantly biting my tongue. I come from a Southern Baptist family/area and in the last three years I've been on the road to deconversion, I'm now an atheist, so for a while I was constantly at odds with their posts/conversations and never said anything. Now I take pleasure in challenging their beliefs and getting them to think for themselves instead of tediously quoting and defending bible verse.

01-04-2014, 12:07 AM
The amount of people here that hate me and the amount of times I've been banned should be testament enough that that is an exercise in tact that I should seriously consider learning.

01-04-2014, 12:39 AM
I used to hop into the fray now and then. I learned to pick my battles eventually, but that gets tiresome too. These days the most serious I get is about shit that doesn't matter. I don't have time to argue about fucking Jesus all day. I have this forum to go to and this post to write. I'm busy.

01-06-2014, 03:28 AM
I bite my tongue a lot because it's pointless but drama and I are never too far apart :monster:

Lonely Paper Star
01-06-2014, 05:12 AM
All the time in various places.

01-06-2014, 12:15 PM
Definitely on Facebook. I've not had any FB dramas (*touch wood*) and would rather keep it that way. It's too public for that sort of thing, with everyone from friends to family to colleagues on there, it would be way too undignified to have an argument on it. It's pretty much like arguing on stage as everyone you know watches.

Forums are a different matter. I get the "itch" when someone is spouting BS. I'm trying to get better at avoiding it though, as it's just a massive waste of time that only makes me feel bad - people tend to be absolutely 110% firm on their opinions and really good at debates, and even if I know someone is objectively wrong about something they always seem really good at persisting with their side and twisting the facts to work for them. People are so persistent they'll go back on forth on a subject until the end of time, so I just give up and "lose". I'd rather just not say anything.

And yeah, I've got the usual issue with people IRL mocking other sexualities, transexuals, religious people etc (I'm friends with people who fit into all those categories). Not hating them necessarily, just using them as targets for humour. E.g. recently there were some guys on TV wearing pink (for a charity I think) and people were all "lol, what the heck are they wearing, they look like a pair of gays". And apart from thinking 'it's 2014 and people are still giggling about homosexuality and implying it's undesirable?' I also can't stand the notion that a colour should be banned for a gender, and keep hoping people would know better after seeing me sharing pretty pink ponies on FB.
One part of me wants to speak up and stand up for my friends in that situation, bute the dominant part of me just can't bear confrontation and also doesn't want to be the Mr Serious spoiling everyone's fun. At the end of the day if it's only meant in humour I understand that we all need to have a laugh about ourselves I suppose, it just grates on me sometimes.

I think the hardest I had to bite my tongue was the father of one of my friends (ex Navy so you can see where this is going) ending up on the subject of transexuals and saying along the lines of "if you were born a man then you're a man and should use the men's toilets, it's creepy to be invading the women's". HNNNNNNNNNG..... I just don't want to fall out with people who are 99% of the time very nice people and let it slide as he's of an older generation.

E: Isn't that typical, I wrote a textwall explaining my thoughts then clicked onto the homo thread and saw a perfect tl;dr summary (posted by @Fonzie) of what I was trying to say about arguing on forums:

Never argue with an idiot. They will only bring you down to their level and beat you with experience

01-06-2014, 12:21 PM
I depends on where I experience it. In real life I would usually just ignore them unless it was something I felt very strongly about. On Twitter I'd just unfollow or block the person in question.

On here I'd resort to childishly mocking the person by poorly imitating them in a post.

Sorry Niale.

01-06-2014, 06:39 PM
I will always say what's on my mind. Sometimes i'm as surprised as everyone else by what comes out of my mouth. I hardly stop and think about what I say. I have seizures, I get a pass right?
No really, I think that we shouldn't have to watch what we say because it might upset someone, especially if they put it out there, on the net or in real life. If they can spout stuff that makes you mad or upsets you then say so, they should know they're pissing people off. It's not ok, now if you're pissing people off by this same logic you should be told too. Now does that mean they or you should or have to stop? well that's up to you and them. It's a mostly free country right? So speak your mind and be yourself especially if it pisses someone you don't like off.

I didn't think to say this before, but I prefer to hear what's one someone's mind. I can't learn another point of view if i only have mine. I want to try and see things from the other side and maybe change my own views based on that. I'm not using my health problems as any kind of excuse to be a outspoken twit, really that's not cool.

Lone Wolf Leonhart
01-08-2014, 08:39 AM
Most threads in EoEO.

I don't like being met with a "You're objectively wrong, now let me passive aggressively talk down to you as I explain why".There is nothing passive about it. Sometimes people are objectively wrong, and it warrants pointing it out to them.

Some people do argue with passive aggressive intention. Maybe you don't. But it wasn't directed at a specific person :monster:

Aside from that, no argument here. I agree.