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View Full Version : Chocolate Egg War II: Let's get EGGSTREME!



Psychotic
01-06-2014, 07:11 PM
January means only one thing: The stores have got rid of all their Christmas crap and are now determined to shill chocolate eggs to us for four months to make money.

I have no problem with this.

http://i863.photobucket.com/albums/ab196/morewrasslin/6BAF722E-4E74-4193-A38F-96655BA10199_zpsent9gnwy.jpg (http://s863.photobucket.com/user/morewrasslin/media/6BAF722E-4E74-4193-A38F-96655BA10199_zpsent9gnwy.jpg.html)

A week's supply. 12 Creme Eggs and two bags of Mini Eggs, resting on my 8+ year old laptop as I view a website not a million miles from here. There's no need to choose this time - Mini Egg and Creme Egg are brothers, and so it shall be here - we all fight under one banner, Team Cadbury.

However, according to this thread made a year ago (http://home.eyesonff.com/general-chat/147779-attn-raistlin-good-news-thousand-raistlins-worth-1-mini-egg.html), some ungodly heathens apparently like some abysmal peanut butter monstrosity more. My intention is to out them in the thread, and then those true Team Cadbury believers can burn them once and for all.

Shorty
01-06-2014, 07:15 PM
Come on, Team Cadbury! Mini eggs for life!

Shorty
01-06-2014, 07:19 PM
Snape would go with Cadbury and take 600 points from Gryffindor for even the mention of Reese's.

Psychotic
01-06-2014, 07:21 PM
"Reese's Eggs...after all this time?"
"Always," said Snape.Oh dear, looks like you've been hit with a Befuddling Jinx Jinx!

Pumpkin
01-06-2014, 07:24 PM
I want both

Psychotic
01-06-2014, 07:27 PM
I've eaten two Creme Eggs and two Mini Eggs since making this thread. Life is so good I might even say it's... eggxcellent :smug:

Faris
01-06-2014, 07:28 PM
Don't think those are going to last the week. Cadbury eggs or gtfo.

Calliope
01-06-2014, 07:30 PM
The hell? Cadbury is the clear winner. If I ever denounce veganism (not likely), then my grabby little milk-chocolate-deprived hands will be snatching up all the Caramello, Black Forest, Crunchie, Flake and Fruit & Nut bars I can carry. Sometimes I still hear this in my dreams (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=olF-KP4J4ew).

Oh look, Cadbury just trolled me:

50043

Jess
01-06-2014, 07:57 PM
I am totally Team Cadbury. In general, not just when it comes to eggs!

I do like Nestle, too, though. Those MaltEaster bunnies? Amazing. :jess:

Psychotic
01-06-2014, 08:09 PM
I am totally Team Cadbury. In general, not just when it comes to eggs!

I do like Nestle, too, though. Those MaltEaster bunnies? Amazing. :jess:While I agree with all of this wonderful post, I do have to point out that Maltesers are Mars and not Nestle!

Jess
01-06-2014, 08:45 PM
I am totally Team Cadbury. In general, not just when it comes to eggs!

I do like Nestle, too, though. Those MaltEaster bunnies? Amazing. :jess:While I agree with all of this wonderful post, I do have to point out that Maltesers are Mars and not Nestle!
Oops. I've always thought Maltesers were Nestle! I am sorry for my mistake, Mars!

Shauna
01-06-2014, 08:47 PM
It's okay to be wrong, lone Reese's voter.

Flying Mullet
01-06-2014, 08:53 PM
Cadbury's gross.

Shauna
01-06-2014, 09:08 PM
It's okay to be wrong, lone Reese's voter.

No longer accurate, sadly. It's okay to be wrong, all of you. :heart:

Pumpkin
01-06-2014, 09:12 PM
I just voted for it because it has less votes and it made me sad.

I like them both equally :jess:

Minami
01-06-2014, 09:16 PM
Mini eggs all the way! I go through bags of the things every year. Don't like cream eggs though

Psychotic
01-06-2014, 09:16 PM
This thread is very useful because it gives me a list of people who are going to have their coloured custom titles removed.

starlet
01-06-2014, 11:36 PM
cadbury mini eggs all the way! Anyone who opposes is a non-believer!

Flying Mullet
01-06-2014, 11:56 PM
I'm cool with that. I don't believe in the Easter Bunny or the Tooth Fairy anyway.

Slothy
01-06-2014, 11:59 PM
Cadbury Creme Eggs have done more for humanity than Jesus.

And since they sell them around Halloween now too, they're quickly overtaking the Buddha as well.

Shorty
01-07-2014, 12:01 AM
I'm cool with that. I don't believe in the Easter Bunny or the Tooth Fairy anyway.

Then no chocolate or money for you, my friend!

Elskidor
01-07-2014, 12:22 AM
Cadbury's gross.

QFT


Actually I don't think I eat either, but Reese's sounds better than cream eggs.

noxious.sunshine
01-07-2014, 01:44 AM
Cadbury Mini Eggs FTW.

I can totes eat my weight in them sumbitches.

Cadbury creme eggs are nasty as fuck though.

Shorty
01-07-2014, 02:02 AM
I like how all the Americans who like Cadbury are like "yeah mini eggs! :jess: creme eggs are gross" (I am not so fond of creme eggs myself but mini eggs make cadbury loyalty worth it)

Calliope
01-07-2014, 02:22 AM
That's quite odd, given that from what I've observed you Yankees seem to love your gigantic portions.

Shorty
01-07-2014, 02:23 AM
The creme is too much! It's too sweet!

Last easter I bought like six bags of mini eggs and hoarded them away for safekeeping and didn't share with anyone.

Slothy
01-07-2014, 02:27 AM
American's apparent dislike of creme eggs only proves that you are an inferior nation filled with inferior people.

Calliope
01-07-2014, 02:27 AM
Since this thread was made I am quickly losing the will to save my 2nd box of Nestle Scorched Almonds until my birthday -_-

Shorty
01-07-2014, 02:28 AM
American's apparent dislike of creme eggs only proves that you are an inferior nation filled with inferior people.

Quiet, you. This is just what the Reese's people want - for us to destroy ourselves from the inside. Don't you get it? You're falling for it!

Pumpkin
01-07-2014, 03:35 AM
I love creme eggs :D

noxious.sunshine
01-07-2014, 02:36 PM
The creme is too much! It's too sweet!

Last easter I bought like six bags of mini eggs and hoarded them away for safekeeping and didn't share with anyone.


Yep.. I do the same thing.

Just like w my Mayfield's ice cream.. If I buy a carton of it, it's off-limits to -everyone- unless I säy they can have some. It's very perplexing for BeeJay. It drives him insane. Mwahahaha.

Flying Mullet
01-07-2014, 03:17 PM
Cadbury Creme Eggs have done more damage to humanity than Jesus' followers.
Fix'd. :aimsun:

Pike
01-07-2014, 03:43 PM
Re: The poll -

http://whalethen.com/files/share%20thumbs/51af8f7040066.png

Slothy
01-07-2014, 04:16 PM
Re: The poll -

http://whalethen.com/files/share%20thumbs/51af8f7040066.png

There can be no compromise! No peace! This will not end until Cadbury's enemies corpses lie burned and bleeding at my feet!

Flying Mullet
01-07-2014, 05:00 PM
We will spill the disgusting sugar sludge that runs through Cadbury's veins!

Spuuky
01-07-2014, 05:05 PM
Cadbury Eggs are exactly as good as the Pokemon that represents them:

50097

Which is to say, one of the worst.

Psychotic
01-07-2014, 05:21 PM
I agree with Spuuky except replace worst with best. Unless they've done something bad to Eggy since Gen 1 - but then nothing after Gen 1 exists anyway, so the point is irrelevant.

Parker
01-07-2014, 07:38 PM
never tried a reese's egg but i mean lets face it how could it beat any of cadbury's offerings

Flying Mullet
01-07-2014, 08:18 PM
never tried a reese's egg but i mean lets face it how could it beat any of cadbury's offerings
Very easily, surprisingly enough.

Slothy
01-07-2014, 08:29 PM
Except peanut butter is atrocious so putting it in an egg results in food so bad I wouldn't give it to a dog. And I don't even like dogs.

fire_of_avalon
01-09-2014, 03:24 AM
Re: The poll -

http://whalethen.com/files/share%20thumbs/51af8f7040066.png

There can be no compromise! No peace! This will not end until Cadbury's enemies corpses lie burned and bleeding at my feet!
Seeing as I'm on team Reese, unlikely babycakes.


Except peanut butter is atrocious so putting it in an egg results in food so bad I wouldn't give it to a dog. And I don't even like dogs.
See? You Cadbury people associate with this? This dog disliker? Who dislikes dogs? Satan? yeah, Satan.

Peanut Butter eggs. Especially the baby tiny ones. Mmmmm. That creme stuff is only good if you're pretending to split open the roasted skulls of your enemies and scooping out the ooey gooey insides with your tongue.

But wait, I can do that with the peanut butter eggs too.

Shlup
01-09-2014, 03:49 AM
uhtGOBt1V2g

Not only do I dislike chocolate, but both these kinds of eggs are absolutely the worst possible kind of candy.

Night Fury
01-09-2014, 04:03 AM
Creme Eggs. Oh my god how I hope they're available over here. Mini eggs are a delight too, but nothing beats a Creme Egg that has been in the fridge for a while. Mmmmmm chocolate orgasm right there.

Psychotic and I have pretty much the exact same chocolate tastes, funnily enough. We are true British pigs.

Raistlin
01-09-2014, 04:23 AM
Let's see what we have here:

Shorty: prefers Cadbury eggs

foa: prefers Reese's

I think that speaks for itself. Reese's all the way.

Slothy
01-09-2014, 03:25 PM
I don't know why Satan gets such a bad rap FOA. He's much cooler than that other guy.

Quindiana Jones
01-09-2014, 03:36 PM
Let's see what we have here:

Shorty: prefers Cadbury eggs

foa: prefers Reese's

I think that speaks for itself. Reese's all the way.

I would like to counter with:

Raistlin: prefers Reese's

People who don't fellate disease-ridden bulls: prefer Cadbury's

I think that speaks for itself. :smug:

Flying Mullet
01-09-2014, 03:40 PM
People who fellate disease-ridden porcupines: prefer Cadbury's

In the end nobody wins with war. :cry:

Quindiana Jones
01-09-2014, 03:53 PM
Porcupines have smaller penises, whereas bull semen is more valuable. Yet another impasse.

Bubba
01-09-2014, 04:17 PM
Having only very recently sampled the delights of peanut butter, I am yet to try Reece's Peanut Butter Eggs. I seriously doubt they can compare to chocolatey-fondant perfection that is a Cadbury's cream egg. I bite the top half off, expertly use my tongue and finger in the bottom half, then melt the rest and smother over my nipples... or just eat the bottom half.

Shorty
01-09-2014, 05:17 PM
I keep misreading this thread title as "Chocolate Frog War" and it confuses me greatly.

Flying Mullet
01-09-2014, 05:37 PM
50315

Shorty
01-09-2014, 05:38 PM
:colbert:

Psychotic
01-09-2014, 05:40 PM
I keep misreading this thread title as "Chocolate Frog War" and it confuses me greatly.well that's what our next thread has to be. Chocolate Frogs, Bertie Bott's Every Flavour Beans or the dark horse - Cockroach Cluster!

Shorty
01-09-2014, 05:41 PM
That's what I keep thinking of when I read it!

Flying Mullet
01-09-2014, 05:45 PM
That's what you get for thinking.

Shauna
01-09-2014, 09:16 PM
I keep misreading this thread title as "Chocolate Frog War" and it confuses me greatly.well that's what our next thread has to be. Chocolate Frogs, Bertie Bott's Every Flavour Beans or the dark horse - Cockroach Cluster!

Nah, cauldron cakes are where its at.

Bubba
01-09-2014, 09:34 PM
Acid Pops.

Because I'm a bad ass... with no tongue.

Heath
01-09-2014, 10:05 PM
Team Cadbury. But it's tragic that the excellent Mini Eggs are tempered by the awful Creme Eggs.

Calliope
01-10-2014, 08:03 AM
I keep misreading this thread title as "Chocolate Frog War" and it confuses me greatly.

https://encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcRBKVlLAGv7HraGS3IfomgfEC0pE3XOK9e-ux7IDw01oxJe5UM3

Oh, what I would give for a Freddo!

Parker
01-10-2014, 09:02 AM
I love Freddos. I am going to get one today, assuming they're still available

Night Fury
01-10-2014, 09:48 AM
OMG I GOT CREME EGGS TODAY THEY ARE IN THE FRIDGE AND I CAN'T WAIT TO LICK OUT THEIR INSIDES!!!!!

Psychotic
01-10-2014, 11:45 AM
What happens to a Creme Egg when you put it in the fridge? Does the gooey stuff become hard?

Flying Mullet
01-10-2014, 01:48 PM
OMG I GOT CREME EGGS TODAY THEY ARE IN THE FRIDGE AND I CAN'T WAIT TO LICK OUT THEIR INSIDES!!!!!
This is how serial killers are born.

Quindiana Jones
01-10-2014, 01:55 PM
Try microwaving a Creme Egg for about 3 seconds.

Psychotic
01-10-2014, 02:06 PM
Try microwaving a Creme Egg for about 3 seconds.With the foil on? That'll end well. :colbert:

Quindiana Jones
01-10-2014, 02:37 PM
Not with the foil on, you sausage. :stare:

Flying Mullet
01-10-2014, 02:58 PM
That's right! He learned his lesson after last time!

Night Fury
01-10-2014, 03:37 PM
Have you seen those creme egg brownies, Quin? :D

Also, Psy, yes the middle is slightly less runny and cold but it melts in your mouth so well! And the chocolate melts pretty quickly too and it's a pretty special experience.

Shorty
01-10-2014, 05:14 PM
Freezing any and all chocolate anything is bound to make the experience of eating it that much better.

Psychotic
01-10-2014, 05:23 PM
I will try Locky's Method and Quin's Method and report which is best. Though tonight I intend to do Jowy's Method of Mini Eggs - having them slightly warm.
Freezing any and all chocolate anything is bound to make the experience of eating it that much better.wtf

Shorty
01-10-2014, 05:24 PM
What's your question?

Psychotic
01-10-2014, 05:26 PM
No question, just condemnation of your sick perversions.

Shorty
01-10-2014, 05:27 PM
Oh, I forgot you people don't like frozen things over there. NO ICE WHAT THE HELL

Psychotic
01-10-2014, 05:28 PM
I've never outright frozen chocolate actually but putting it in the fridge just ruins it. Good chocolate has to be a liiiiittle bit soft.

Flying Mullet
01-10-2014, 05:41 PM
I've never outright frozen chocolate actually
Then you have not lived.

Pumpkin
01-10-2014, 06:18 PM
I don't like frozen chocolate. It hurts my teeth :x

Psychotic
01-10-2014, 07:23 PM
Psychotic's Chocolate Experiments!

Mini Eggs in the microwave was divine. I experimented with different timings and 20-25 seconds was the sweet spot. Absolutely brilliant.

I was going to wait to do Quin's Creme Egg in the microwave tomorrow but I enjoyed the last one so much that I did it now. I put it on a paper towel and did it for 5 seconds. (My microwave only does increments of 5) Got it out, nothing. Boring. Maybe my microwave has lower power. I will put it back in for 10 seconds. At about 8 seconds, the top cracked over and goo poured out. Oh shit better put this in my mouuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuOHHHHHHHH MY GOD OWWWWW WHAT THE FUCK THE GOO HAS BECOME LAVA OW OW OW JESUS CHRIST. The surface was not warm because the insides are pure fiery death. My mouth still hurts. In my panic I did yet another egg...

Locky's fridge egg! Ehhh sorry Locky, not a huge fan. It was better than fire egg, and really helped my mouth. It was hard to crack open though. It was interesting but I don't think I'll do it again.

So I've overdosed on chocolate and I'm having to hold water in my mouth because I am a total fucking moron xD I'm probably going to get a blister. The things I do for you, EoFF!

Parker
01-10-2014, 09:09 PM
i was hoping the microwave creme egg would work well because i was gonna try it now i will not i guess unless there is some kind of secret microwave technique Quin is not telling us

Psychotic
01-11-2014, 11:56 AM
I think I had it in for way too long. Will try again for five seconds.

Anyway, freezer chocolate! Not bad at all! I thought it'd be awful, especially when it was a bitch to bite into. I warmed to it (ho ho ho) when I found that it sort of crunches in your mouth and it is a really interesting texture.

Quindiana Jones
01-11-2014, 01:52 PM
I didn't expect to have to say this, but yes - if the egg explodes, you have failed. xD

Even if you time it perfectly, don't bite into it straight away because that stuff really is lava for the first half-minute.

Psychotic
01-12-2014, 03:52 PM
Me being an idiot, I tried the microwave Creme Egg again. 80% power, 5 seconds. I had ice water on standby in the event of my fiery death again... but I was fine. I did this twice and bit into the egg about 10-15 seconds after I took it out and it was not too hot. It was pretty good - I liked it. Like fridge Creme Egg, it's an interesting thing to do if you want to mix up your Creme Egg experience, but I think room temperature Creme Egg is the best though.

Bubba
01-12-2014, 04:10 PM
50482

Well, you're already half-undressed... no need to stop there. I can't wait to have my tongue inside you.

Parker
01-12-2014, 04:16 PM
Creme Egg enjoyment tips:

eat a creme egg in the bath or shower

Eat ur egg upside down (as in u are upside down, get a friend to dangle u by ur feet from a balcony or bunkbed

Start from the opposite side of the egg than you would usually start from

DONT eat the egg at all (whoa)

punch the egg

throw the egg into the air and try to catch it in your mouth every time you fail you have to eat the egg

wrap real i.e non-creme eggs in creme egg wrappers and leave them in the creme egg section of shops and supermarkets

eat an egg in space (this will amke you baller than anyone else who has eaten a creme egg)

fire_of_avalon
01-13-2014, 02:28 AM
We peanut butter egg lovers find we don't have to vary our routines with our eggs. They are as wonderful and engaging as the first time, everytime. You keep struggling for happiness in your boring egg relationships and fueling the adult eggertainment industry.


Ok, I cringed, BUT TAKE THAT FUCKERS.

Night Fury
01-13-2014, 03:48 AM
I actually had a fridge creme egg this morning and I didn't like it so much.

I think I must usually chill them in the fridge then let them melt a little before eating them. Either that or Creme Eggs over here just AREN'T THE SAME!

Psychotic
01-13-2014, 02:03 PM
What's wrong with storing them at room temperature, Locky? They're in foil, they keep just fine!
We peanut butter egg lovers find we don't have to vary our routines with our eggs. They are as wonderful and engaging as the first time, everytime. You keep struggling for happiness in your boring egg relationships and fueling the adult eggertainment industry.


Ok, I cringed, BUT TAKE THAT smurfERS.Or because they taste like moist cardboard even you freaks who love them can only stomach eating them very rarely, thus it never gets old. I'll never get bored - in fact, I could take you in an egg eating contest. I could eat 2 Creme Eggs for every peanut monstrosity you could stomach and then I'd still have room for your tears as dessert.

Flying Mullet
01-13-2014, 02:14 PM
We peanut butter egg lovers find we don't have to vary our routines with our eggs. They are as wonderful and engaging as the first time, everytime. You keep struggling for happiness in your boring egg relationships and fueling the adult eggertainment industry.

Ok, I cringed, BUT TAKE THAT FUCKERS.
Did you know:

60% off all internet commerce income is generated from adult eggertainment sites
At least one in three divorces was caused by one of the partners having an addiction to adult eggertainment
Each year the government seizes over 50 metric tonnes of mini Cadbury Eggs that were being trafficed on the eggertainment black market

Pike
01-13-2014, 04:33 PM
Ok well you guys have fun with this thread while I happily enjoy all kinds of chocolate eggs

Aulayna
01-13-2014, 09:03 PM
Mini Eggs are the absolutely dogs private parts. I was overjoyed when I saw them in Tesco this week.

Team Cadbury all the way. Screw that Reese's crap that tastes like it's been left unpackaged in a dusty room for months.

Also Cadbury has The Queen's seal of approval. Can't beat that.

Jess
01-13-2014, 09:06 PM
I just had a Cadbury Creme egg. :cool:

Flying Mullet
01-13-2014, 09:57 PM
I just had a Cadbury Creme egg. :cool:
Congratulations, you now have worms.

fire_of_avalon
01-14-2014, 02:48 AM
What's wrong with storing them at room temperature, Locky? They're in foil, they keep just fine!
We peanut butter egg lovers find we don't have to vary our routines with our eggs. They are as wonderful and engaging as the first time, everytime. You keep struggling for happiness in your boring egg relationships and fueling the adult eggertainment industry.


Ok, I cringed, BUT TAKE THAT smurfERS.Or because they taste like moist cardboard even you freaks who love them can only stomach eating them very rarely, thus it never gets old. I'll never get bored - in fact, I could take you in an egg eating contest. I could eat 2 Creme Eggs for every peanut monstrosity you could stomach and then I'd still have room for your tears as dessert.

I have one compound word for you.

Thunderdome.

Flying Mullet
01-14-2014, 02:50 AM
Yes!

Night Fury
01-14-2014, 03:06 AM
Nothing is wrong with it, Psy. I'm just not too keen on when the chocolate is quite... not quite melted but not quite hard, when it's pretty squishy, I just find it gets really clammy in my mouth.

Also I'd like to add that I tried Reese's Peanut Butter cups and as much as I really wanted to like them, they were smurfing rank.

Rob Roy
01-16-2014, 01:36 PM
Hot Item!
Cadbury Crème Egg consumption has been linked to uncontrollable bouts of twerking!
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