I can't believe

[Jiro]

some of you smurfers don't put honey on crumpets. What the hell is wrong with you? Crumpets with butter and honey are literally one of the greatest things I have ever experienced in my life.

inspired by Shauna and Parker being objectively wrong about crumpet toppings in chat (http://home.eyesonff.com/chat.html)

[Shorty]

I've put butter and jam on the ones I've had! I wouldn't be opposed to honey and butter, though.

[Bubba]

Hmmm... I can honestly say I've never tried it. My usual preference is jam which is simply awesome. I may have to try this to judge which is better.

Did you know it takes 12 bees their entire lifetime to make one teaspoon of honey?

EDIT: Me and Shorty are clearly on the same wavelength

[Parker]

Crumpets are for butter and butter ONLY.

Honey and jam are great things, please don't think I'm against these things. But putting them on a crumpet? You're sick, sick people

[Shorty]

How is adding sweet, delicious sugary fruit spread sick? You are not in your correct head, sir.

I would also put nutella on them. I think that would be amazing.

[Psychotic]

Hey hey hey. I don't tell you how to eat Kangaroo Burgers and Didgeridoo Donuts, you don't tell me how to eat crumpets :colbert:

[Shauna]

Come on now, I think us Brits would know best how to eat crumpets. Which is the most correct way.

[noxious.sunshine]

I don't eat honey.

Nor do I know wtf a crumpet is. I know it's a bread roll type deal, but yeah.

My great uncle Carl was a beekeeper and made the best honey ever.. He'd always load us up with a million jars of it when we went to visit him and my great aunt Madelyn. After he died, I just wouldn't eat it anymore.

[Parker]

How is adding sweet, delicious sugary fruit spread sick? You are not in your correct head, sir.

I would also put nutella on them. I think that would be amazing.

this is why americans are so fat


*spreads 6 crumpets with about 2 tons of butter*

[Calliope]

I went without honey for nine years, and then broke down and became a shitty vegan like Morgan Spurlock's girlfriend because HONEY AND CRUMPETS ARE THAT GOOD. I'm about to cry because crumpets are so good, and I can't buy vegan ones anywhere.

:cry:

[Parker]

eat things you like to eat

[Jiro]

Hey hey hey. I don't tell you how to eat Kangaroo Burgers and Didgeridoo Donuts, you don't tell me how to eat crumpets :colbert:

hey now that's a good idea for a novelty restaurant

look I'm just trying to share with you my wonderful discovery. Honey is delicious. put it on your shit. consume. enjoy.

[Night Fury]

No no no nooooo!

Crumpets are to be slathered in butter, and occasionally topped with some philidelphia cheese. Or whacked under the grill with a slice of cheese - the melty... is goooooood.

[Parker]

I wish only death to Philadephia cheese. This thread is making me angry and I'm adding you all to my ignore list so I don't have to hear your dumb crumpet opinions

[Night Fury]

You are a dumb crumpet. :mad:

[Parker]

sorry, i can't hear you over the sound of my eating crumpets with butter and only butter like someone with dignity


holy shit guys jam and nutella and cheese? you have no idea how angry this has made me

[Jiro]

yeah look I love cheese but I'm a bit dubious about that

[Denmark]

http://i196.photobucket.com/albums/aa23/holymusic55/Patriotic/Patriotic-AmericanEagleintheRedWhiteandBlue.gif

no crumpets for me cause i'm american as smurf

[Psychotic]

just want to say these words once in my life: Parker is right. Parker is 100% right. Non-Parkers are not right, and, perhaps, wrong. Crumpets and butter. Butter and crumpets. Why anything else? Hot buttered crumpets. Why not? Why not?

[Shauna]

Parker should get that post framed, don't know if he'll see those words ever again.

[Hollycat]

Ive never even seen a crumpet.

[Psychotic]

Ive never even seen a crumpet.you poor wretched creature

[Shorty]

They taste just like English muffins, and they are wonderful with both jam and butter.

[Hollycat]

Ive never even seen a crumpet.you poor wretched creature

I drink my tea black and iced. I don't know what haggis is. Instead of tea time I have steak time. I am Texan.

English muffins are the worst type of biscuit.

[sharkythesharkdogg]

Yeah, I'm so out of touch here. I've never had a crumpet, and this is what I call a biscuit.

http://www.finecooking.com/CMS/uploadedimages/Images/Cooking/Articles/Issues_111-120/051117037-01-buttermilk-biscuits_xlg.jpg

[Hollycat]

Yeah, I'm so out of touch here. I've never had a crumpet, and this is what I call a biscuit.

http://www.finecooking.com/CMS/uploadedimages/Images/Cooking/Articles/Issues_111-120/051117037-01-buttermilk-biscuits_xlg.jpg

That is the correct kind of biscuit. People calling cookies biscuits should burn

[Psychotic]

Cookies are a subset of biscuit. A cookie is always a biscuit but a biscuit isn't always a cookie, and is never whatever the hell Sharky posted.

[Shorty]

Those are biscuits!

[Hollycat]

Cookies are a subset of biscuit. A cookie is always a biscuit but a biscuit isn't always a cookie, and is never whatever the hell Sharky posted.

I see your opinion and fart in your general direction.

[Denmark]

People from different cultures call the same thing different names? ~ S H O C K ~

[Shauna]

http://www.dcs.shef.ac.uk/~mark/blog/blog_files/reviews/oi/crumpets.jpg

They don't even look anything like scones (biscuits to you wrong people), and are more like pancakes, if we had to get something that it was sort of like, but in reality is nothing like it. :3

[Shorty]

Scones and biscuits are different things here, and scones are an entirely different thing where I come from!

[Shauna]

Just keep getting wronger.

[Parker]

close this thread and ban everyone in it

[Hollycat]

Ban this thread and close everyone in it, then insert biscuits into slot B.

[Jiro]

I have so much regret we never should have allowed the americans in here

I mean okay UK you and I might disagree on the whole honey thing but I can let that go because at least we know what the fuck biscuits and scones and crumpets are

jesus horatio christ on a bike I am afraid of our future

[Fonzie]

I'm so damn confused, what are we arguing over exactly? :confused:

[Bubba]

Yeah, I'm so out of touch here. I've never had a crumpet, and this is what I call a biscuit.

http://www.finecooking.com/CMS/uploadedimages/Images/Cooking/Articles/Issues_111-120/051117037-01-buttermilk-biscuits_xlg.jpg


I like to think of myself as an enlightened 21st-century guy. I am happy to accept that the English language is ever-evolving and will always adapt to the need of its users. Hell, the amount of different names the UK has for a bread roll is baffling yet... I can accept this.

However, I'm not sure I can live in a world in which the above picture (containing 6 delicious-looking scones), can be referred to as biscuits.

So Shorty and Sharky... what do you call these peculiar looking things?

51425

[Shauna]

Those are cookies Bubba, get with the program.

[Bubba]

Ahh, OK. I suppose I can accept that.

So are these things also called cookies? Or are they cookie-cookies?

51426

[Parker]

Lets talk about the differences in the English language for the 6000th time also how do you say the word scone? is a jaffa cake a cake or a biscuit? why do we do this to ourselves

[Shauna]

I find the differences entertaining and interesting, which is why I like talking about it.

But then I am a weird person, so.

Scone is rhymes with brawn. Also Jaffa Cakes are... cakes. It's in the name.

[Parker]

scorn? fuck me


salt the earth

kill every infant

[Bubba]

What the hell, Shauna?

Scone either rhymes with "cone" or "gone". Don't give me this "brawn" shit.

[Shauna]

Gone is a better word that I couldn't think of. xD

In what world does brawn sound like scorn? :p Where's that other r coming from?

[Bubba]

There is no other 'R'. It is pronounced the same way as "lawn".

Unless I've being saying it wrong for years! :eek:

[Shauna]

Anyway. We can discuss this elsewhere! :}

This is a thread about crumpets. Let's get back to it.

[Jessweeee♪]

all of this bread terminology confuses me :confused:

[sharkythesharkdogg]

Yeah, I'm so out of touch here. I've never had a crumpet, and this is what I call a biscuit.

http://www.finecooking.com/CMS/uploadedimages/Images/Cooking/Articles/Issues_111-120/051117037-01-buttermilk-biscuits_xlg.jpg


I like to think of myself as an enlightened 21st-century guy. I am happy to accept that the English language is ever-evolving and will always adapt to the need of its users. Hell, the amount of different names the UK has for a bread roll is baffling yet... I can accept this.

However, I'm not sure I can live in a world in which the above picture (containing 6 delicious-looking scones), can be referred to as biscuits.

So Shorty and Sharky... what do you call these peculiar looking things?

51425

Bubba,

Those are cookies, or maybe possibly crackers. Most likely cookies, from the looks.

Which opens up a new chapter in this whole debacle. Do you have crackers?

http://www.colourbox.com/preview/1484193-758398-salty-crackers-of-the-various-geometrical-form-lie-on-a-white-background.jpg

Generally for us, one of the main differences is most cookies are sweet, they can be flat bread or leavened with some baking agent. They can contain a lot of different ingredients.

Crackers on the other hand, are always flat and crunchy. They're almost all savory or seasoned in some manner that is not sweet. Except for Graham crackers, because there's always one thing that smurfs up the whole system.

Biscuits are what crackers would if they were given a few more ingredients and allowed to rise as they bake. Biscuits are soft, fluffy, and usually flakey. They're served with a multitude of different things, like your scone. I've had them with honey, jam, butter, applebutter, cheese, ham, sausage, chicken, etc.

[Bubba]

Crackers?

What new devilry is this?

[Hollycat]

Wheat thins and saltines are best crackers. Cheezitz are good too though.

[sharkythesharkdogg]

I'm surprised they haven't asked about applebutter, yet.

Then there's pumpkinbutter, plumbutter, and so forth. I think the Dutch and Germans have that stuff too, so maybe they know about it.

[Shauna]

I've already asked we get back on track here with the crumpet conversations. Take your biscuit/cracker chat to a new thread guys, I'm quite happy to continue discussing how Americans are wrong there. ;)

Crumpet + butter = only way. End of story.

[Parker]

how the smurf are you saying the word brawn? it should rhyme with prawn

e: would help if i checked i was on the last page of the thread before replying, heh

[Jiro]

no I demand that this thread is now an us vs them The Great British Empire vs the traitorous scumbag colonials USA. bugger your cookies chaps, biscuits with my tea every day

[Hollycat]

no I demand that this thread is now an us vs them The Great British Empire vs the traitorous scumbag colonials USA. bugger your cookies chaps, biscuits with my tea every day
Didn't Australia break away from the empire as well?

[Shorty]

Yeah man, you guys were sent to exile. You don't count for trout!

[Calliope]

Scorn and brawn rhyme
Scone and gone rhyme
Biscuit and brisket rhyme
Cookie and nookie rhyme
---
Biscuits are plain and served with tea
Cookies are like biscuits, only better, if you prefer chocolate things over arrowroot or buttery sugary things; also they are served with milk
Scones are amazing and are not triangle shaped, nor covered in sugar
+Date scones are my favourite, followed by plain scones with butter and jam or honey, although I've had herb and cheese ones also
Crumpets are one of the most marvellous culinary delights this world has ever seen
++Crumpets, as originally stated, are best consumed with butter and honey, with butter and jam second. A friend once made me eat one with grilled cheese and strawberry jam O_o;;;

[Jessweeee♪]

Scorn and brawn rhyme

so you pronounce brawn like born?

or do you pronounce scorn like skahwn?

[Bubba]

I see Shauna's valiant efforts at keeping this thread on topic has been largely ignored. Before getting back onto crumpets, I would like to confirm the following.

What I have learned from this is...

What you call cookies, we call biscuits.
What you call biscuits, we call scones.
Crumpets and crackers we both call crumpets and crackers.

Information assimilated.

Anyway, back on topic. Crumpets are awesome. Enjoy some crumpet porn.

51488

[Rantz]

Nobody in chat seemed interested, but if anyone wants to do a good deed and start sending me a package of crumpets weekly, I'd be grateful. They're hard to get in Sweden. D:

[Parker]

Sure what is your address??


*sends rantz a bunch a flowers xD* owned

[Bubba]

Nobody in chat seemed interested, but if anyone wants to do a good deed and start sending me a package of crumpets weekly, I'd be grateful. They're hard to get in Sweden. D:

OK Pontus, if I send you crumpets every week can you return the favour with some Swedish meatballs?

[Loony BoB]

Ha, Rantz, this reminds me of when Lev first came over and went back with like three six-packs of crumpets. "I CAN'T GET THEM IN NORWAY THEY ARE THE BEST I MUST GET MORE SEND ME MORE."

As for topping up the crumpet, it's got to be butter first and, if anything extra, I use Vegemite. The two end results are very different but both great. I've had jam, too, but I prefer it without the sweetness jam provides. Butter and/or vegemite are both more suited to my tastes.

And sorry, 'merica, but you got this one so very wrong. I have to say that Britain tends to be much better about naming food groups than any country I know, including New Zealand (as much as it begrudges me to say so... but crisps! It just makes sense! Wish they wouldn't call corn chips 'crisps' though, they're different). Crackers, biscuits and cookies are all most definitely different things, and naming them as such allows people to have a very good idea about what kind of food they're actually getting when someone says "Here, have a [biscuit/cookie/cracker/scone/crumpet]." In America, having only two words to define three rather different things is a little silly to me. I think somewhere along the line, Americans just got very confused.

[sharkythesharkdogg]

Apparently, we have scones over hear BoB. They just aren't that common. It's like a specialty thing.

So we have biscuits, crackers, and cookies. Then it continues on into regional/specialty things like biscotti, crumpets, scones, etc. Usually at coffee shops and bakeries.

I don't think we have fewer words. Our words just mean different foodstuffs.

[Jiro]

BoB the fact that you put vegemite on crumpets makes me so happy. Like it's not a thing I would generally do because I prefer my vegemite on not-crumpets but you honour us with your patriotism.

[sharkythesharkdogg]

Soon he'll be drunk on Aussie Day and bitching about boat people. You're like 80% of the way to bogan!:kakapo:

[Hollycat]

You aren't an Aussie until you've gone drop bear hunting on kangaroos.

[Loony BoB]

Vegemite continues to be the best thing to come out of Australia as far as I'm concerned!

And sharky, I'm more referring to how you have fewer words to describe what we call biscuits, crackers or cookies. You summarise those things into just two words, and that doesn't make much sense to me! I guess you have more words for scones than we do...?

[sharkythesharkdogg]

We also use the words biscuits, crackers, and cookies. :confused: Confusion.

[Shauna]

No but your biscuits aren't our biscuits (they are scones. God knows what other food you call scones are), so you're already one word down, is what BoB is trying to say.
You have crackers or cookies to describe this range of food; while we have biscuits, crackers and cookies to describe that same range.


You pretty much got it in your initial post on the matter:

I don't think we have fewer words. Our words just mean different foodstuffs.

[Pumpkin]

Canadian English seems like a mixture of American English and British English.

Then I have the fun of also having French, where we call cookies "biscuits" which is biscuits but in English they're cookies :monster:

EDIT: http://m5.paperblog.com/i/17/172183/soft-scones-recipe-L-7NKH6O.jpeg

What bugs me is when people call danishes and other pastries croissants. If they don't have the croissant shape, they aren't a croissant :colbert:

[Shauna]

wtf is that shion that's not a scone

[Pumpkin]

A scone is a single-serving cake or quick bread. They are usually made of wheat, barley or oatmeal, with baking powder as a leavening agent, and are baked on sheet pans. They are often lightly sweetened and are occasionally glazed <---says wikipedia

And it popped up when I did the image search so I'm apparently not the only one who thinks of it that way

[Shorty]

That's what a scone is to the rest of the US, it seems.

I feel like we just had this conversation, but my region's scone is the same thing as Indian frybread.

http://static.thepioneerwoman.com/cooking/files/2011/10/6262122802_8968bbaabf_o.jpg

[Parker]

can we please close this once beautiful thread you awful people have besmirched

[Shauna]

A scone is a single-serving cake or quick bread. They are usually made of wheat, barley or oatmeal, with baking powder as a leavening agent, and are baked on sheet pans. They are often lightly sweetened and are occasionally glazed <---says wikipedia

And it popped up when I did the image search so I'm apparently not the only one who thinks of it that way

Well, yes, but also on the scone wiki page is a bunch of pictures of things that aren't what you've posted. :p

Scone - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Scone)

[Pumpkin]

I didn't bother to look because I've made scones that fit that definition and they looked like the pic they posted :P

[Jess]

There is a serious matter at hand here, folks: Crumpets should only be eaten with butter. Anything else is just unacceptable. :jess:

[Hollycat]

biscuits can be eaten with butter, strawberry jam, grape jelly, apple jelly, with nothing, with a sausage patty on it, and with mashed potatoes on it. Although rolls are better for potatoes.

Eggs work too.

[Jiro]

biscuits can be eaten with tea, coffee, or hot chocolates

[Hollycat]

biscuits can be eaten with tea, coffee, or hot chocolates
If you want to do it wrong, then fine.

[Night Fury]

No no no I think those 'scones' areal actually what we know as dumplings which we have with mince! They're similar but made with suet I believe

[Jiro]

Look America you're already confused about pies I don't want to make it any harder on you. Biscuits do not go with gravy. Ever.

[Parker]

close this thread you're driving me insane

did you know america uses different measuring systems and britain drives on the wrong side of the road?

lmao lets talk about it forever for the 200th time

[Psychotic]

Hey guys how about a game of football?

[Bubba]

Haha, Americans. Y'all talk funny!

[Jiro]

Hey guys how about a game of football?

let me go in the nets this time I am too out of shape

[Bubba]

let me go in the nets this time I am too out of shape

There are no nets in football.

Just helmets, testosterone and Gatorade.

[Kalevala]

I drink my tea black and iced. I don't know what haggis is. Instead of tea time I have steak time. I am Texan.

English muffins are the worst type of biscuit.

51637

[Jiro]

let me go in the nets this time I am too out of shape

There are no nets in football.

Just helmets, testosterone and Gatorade.

no there are always nets

you just have to find them

[fire_of_avalon]

Jesus, read the wikipedia article on biscuit and you'll see we're all right.

But I'm righter. :zombert: biscuits & gravy 4 (my short and artery clogged) lyfe.

[Hollycat]

Jesus, read the wikipedia article on biscuit and you'll see we're all right.

But I'm righter. :zombert: biscuits & gravy 4 (my short and artery clogged) lyfe.
Biscuits and gravy are gross.

[Jiro]

Jesus, read the wikipedia article on biscuit and you'll see we're all right.

But I'm righter. :zombert: biscuits & gravy 4 (my short and artery clogged) lyfe.
Biscuits and gravy are gross.

Finally we are in agreement!

[sharkythesharkdogg]

Biscuits and gravy is awesome.

[Bubba]

51683 + 51684

I'm pretty sure this wouldn't be popular in the UK...

[sharkythesharkdogg]

That looks more like chocolate fondu, so it'll probably be a hit! :kakapo:

[Shorty]

Biscuits and gravy is so damn good.

http://www.talkdisney.com/forums/attachments/disney-recipes/4592d1289328055-sausage-gravy-whispering-canyon-cafe-wilderness-lodge-sausagegravy.jpg

Also, this is my favorite thread.

[Bubba]

That looks more like chocolate fondu, so it'll probably be a hit! :kakapo:

Haha, it does a bit! Now I really want to try this...



Biscuits and gravy is so damn good.

http://www.talkdisney.com/forums/attachments/disney-recipes/4592d1289328055-sausage-gravy-whispering-canyon-cafe-wilderness-lodge-sausagegravy.jpg



You see now this... I can get on board with :drool:

[Shorty]

I guess you guys would probably call biscuits bread rolls or something, even though they're a bit more tough and breaddy.

Here is a pretty thorough baby-steps recipe (http://thepioneerwoman.com/cooking/2013/03/drop-biscuits-and-sausage-gravy/) (the step-by-step is first, the actual recipe ison the bottom). I always just buy biscuits pre-made, and the gravy is super simple.

Get ready to not move for like three hours afterward, though. They turn you into a slug.

[Jiro]

Way go create a gross food and name it after something good

[magemasher]

The older generation in England would say "that's a nice bit of crumpet" in reference to an attractive women.

What would I put on crumpets, I'll leave that to your imaginations :D hahaha.


A practical dress and sensible shoes.

[noxious.sunshine]

Biscuits and gravy. Yuuuummmm....


I tried making biscuits from scratch this morning. But instead of just doing drop biscuits, I went through the whole process of kneading and rolling out and cutting circles with a glass.

..... it didn't work out so well. They didn't rise like they were supposed to. -_-. Mega bummed