Dear Aeris spreads the love advice!

[Dear Aeris]

51875

Hello and Greetings, Dear EoFFers!

It's coming up on Valentine's Day, Dear EoFFers! Aren't you so excited?! I know I am! I'll be spending aaall day with my Cloudy-poo! What are you guys doing? Going out on a date? Spending some time with your anime waifu? Or maybe learning to "love yourself"? Naughty naughty!
:mymeltitter:

This is a time to have some fun and let your feelings flourish, but I know that not everyone has an easy time getting other people's feelings to flourish unto themselves. That's where I come in! No, not in that way, sillies!
:mymelslap:

Dear EoFFers, if you have anything you want to ask, now's your time! Ask me about relationships, ideas for dates or how to ask out that special someone - I will do my best to answer anything love-related! Just send me a mognet message and I will respond publicly, although your name will be hidden! Feel free to send me chocolate, too!
:mymelheart:

See you soon, Dear EoFFers!
51876

[Del Murder]

yayyyyyyy

[Sephex]

I'll take a...stab...at it.

[sharkythesharkdogg]

I secretly hope Aeris is actually Christmas.

I miss Christmas and her homicidal threats to Old Manus. :(

Good luck mystery Aeris!

[LocoColt04]

I'll take a...stab...at it.ARE YOU A TONBERRY

WELL

ARE YOU

because that would be neat

[Shorty]

Hurray hurray hurray! :love:

[Scotty_ffgamer]

This should be fun!

[Shaibana]

tsss, u dnt need Cloudy-poo..:mad:
u need Zacky-poo! :love:

my bf isnt home at that day

[NeoCracker]

Aeris is going to be spending all day with cloud.

Aeris is dead.

This means Cloud is spending the lovey dovey holiday with Aeris's corpse.

Therefor Cloud is a necrophiliac. O_O

[Sephiroth]

Aeris is going to be spending all day with cloud.

Aeris is dead.

This means Cloud is spending the lovey dovey holiday with Aeris's corpse.

Therefor Cloud is a necrophiliac. O_O

Not with their consciousnesses/souls being connected, which they are, my friend.

[NeoCracker]

Aeris is going to be spending all day with cloud.

Aeris is dead.

This means Cloud is spending the lovey dovey holiday with Aeris's corpse.

Therefor Cloud is a necrophiliac. O_O

Not with their consciousnesses/souls being connected, which they are, my friend.

...The fuck are you even talking about? XD

[Sephiroth]

...The smurf are you even talking about? XD

It means while she is not biologially alive she still exists as spirit and can even contact Cloud.


Way to take a perfectly good, off-color joke and ruin it with your sentimental romantic notions. http://home.eyesonff.com/images/eoff_smilies/colbert.gif

That is no notion, the connection is an official fact.

[sharkythesharkdogg]

Way to take a perfectly good, off-color joke and ruin it with your sentimental romantic notions. :colbert:

[Madame Adequate]

Dear Aeris,

As we all know girls have cooties.

But I am suddenly finding myself feeling strange around my best friend's mom. My peepee tingles and I keep thinking about her body.

How can I stop these thoughts and feelings so that I keep myself safe from cooties?

Sincerely,
Concerned.

[Dear Aeris]

First two questions! Keep them coming, Dear EoFFers!
:mymelheart:


Dear Aeris,

So, I recently kidnapped this girl (at her uncle's request!), and she's really cute. Soft butt too! I think I might be starting to fall for her. I'm usually pretty smooth with the ladies, but this girl... I know she likes me, but I just don't think she's that interested in me.

How do I get her interested?

Sincerely yours,

monkeylove16
Dear monkeylove16,

From what you're telling me, it sounds like she's taking the kidnapping fairly well! This suggests to me that she likes the danger :whoa: Perhaps you could try exposing her to more and more danger until she falls for you? Giant snakes! Sandstorms! War and destruction! Drag her to another continent on the back of a wild beast! Why not take her to another planet entirely? Something's bound to stick.
:mymelmagic:


My boyfriend doesn't make much money, but he still goes out of his way to get me nice things. I don't have a job so I can't afford to buy him anything and I feel bad because there are so many things I wish I could get him. What can I do for him for Valentine's Day to show him how much I love and appreciate him?
Dear Valentine,

While he's out of the house, make the biggest pillow fort possible. Make it cover the whole place! When he comes home, he should have to make a long journey through the winding ways of the fort, following a path laid out with rose petals, before finally reaching his goal - an undressed girlfriend! :snuggle: Warm him up for a bit and then release the bees!
:mymelomfg:

[Scotty_ffgamer]

I hope that last advice is taken completely literally and bees are actually released at the end.

[Madame Adequate]

http://imgur.com/qrLEV.gif

[Quindiana Jones]

What on Earth is that about. :confused:

[Madame Adequate]

Oprah attacked everyone with bees, what the hell does it look like?

[Shaibana]

http://imgur.com/qrLEV.gif

ow god, i can not stop laughing

[starlet]

NOT THE BEES! (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-1GadTfGFvU)

[Shorty]

They don't allow you to have bees in here.

[Bubba]

Dear Aeris

My name is Mukki and I work at the Honeybee Inn in Wall Market. I think I've fallen for one of our regulars. He has spiky blonde hair and likes it rough. Last time he was in he insisted that I repeatedly slap him across the face. I know he's into 'group' sessions too as he was happy to share a bath with me and 12 of my friends.

I just don't know if I can tell him how I really feel. He seems a little confused as to where his sexuality truly lies. I hope it is with the boys as his pert bum looks amazing in his purple pants.

Should I be honest with him or just keep my feelings to myself?

Mukki

[sharkythesharkdogg]

Note to self. Get Parker a spiky, blonde wig.

[Quindiana Jones]

Dear Aeris,

I'm in love with a man, but I keep accidentally making love to his twin brother.

Yours,

sharky

[sharkythesharkdogg]

I'm glad someone was brave enough to ask the tough questions.

[krissy]

dear aeris,

what is love?

GIF Sound Mashups (http://gifsound.com/?gif=media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lkgzjcRPHn1qfc5a4.gif&v=xhrBDcQq2DM&s=5)

[krissy]

i feel bad about making that immediately
ban me
make it right

[Shaibana]

stop hating Aeris! D:

[Ayen]

*kicks down door, punches Cloud in the face and kisses Aerith passionately on the lips and carries her out bridal style*

[Shaibana]

*throws rice as they pass by*

[Bubba]

*reports ToriJ to the police for an unprovoked assault*

[sharkythesharkdogg]

*watches Parker get decked before getting smooched and abducted*

Well, this got weirder.

[Shaibana]

*watches it all happen* :eek:

[Spooniest]

Dear Aeris,

I like my new girlfriend, but she is cruel to her dog, which bothers me.

Should I take this as a warning sign? Or should I just join her and start telling her dog to "shut his @#$@#ing face?" if he makes so much as a peep?

He is kind of an annoying dog, so I can sort of understand where she's coming from, but being the soft touch that I am, I dunno if she's gonna start laying into me with this stuff sooner or later.

Sincerely,
Spoony in the South

[Quindiana Jones]

Dear Aeris, I wrote you but you still ain't callin'
I left my cell, my pager
And my home phone at the bottom
I sent two letters back in autumn
You must not have got 'em
It probably was a problem
At the post office or somethin'

Sometimes I scribble addresses
Too sloppy when I jot 'em
But anyways fuck it
What's been up girl, how's your mother?
My girlfriend's pregnant too
I'm 'out to be a father
If I have a daughter, guess what Imma call her?
Imma name her Yuffie

I read about your mother Ifalna too, I'm sorry
I had a friend get killed by Hojo once
Who didn't want him
I know you probably hear this everyday
But I'm your biggest fan
I even got the underground shit that you did with Avalanche

I got a room full of your posters
And your pictures, man
I like the shit you did with Tifa too
That shit was fat
Anyways I hope you get this, man
Hit me back just to chat
Truly yours, your biggest simp
This is Quin

[Christmas]

I secretly hope Aeris is actually Christmas.

I miss Christmas and her homicidal threats to Old Manus. :(

Good luck mystery Aeris!

I miss Christmas too. :(

Or am I logged in as Christmas now?

[Quindiana Jones]

Yeah, you were Tigz for a while.