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View Full Version : The Demise of the Luca Goers



Noctis Caelum
04-17-2014, 06:54 AM
I just read some horrifying news folks. It seems a person or persons have dug up the graves of Bobba and Jimma. (Remember they killed themselves after the Aurochs won the tournament)

It seems the grave robbers dressed their skeletal corpses in Besaid Auroch attire. They then threw their bodies into the Luca Sphere pool during the Luca Goers' final home game during halftime.

Apparently there was a halftime show featuring a Shoopuff and a bunch of Hypello. It was a sold out stadium.

Seems that Jimma and Bobba's bodies were so rotted and decomposed the water in the sphere pool quickly washed off any remaining body pieces from the bones.

Being hungry the Shoopuff was quite curious over the new smells and tastes that were floating around the water nearby. Since it only eats teeny-weeny water-borne organisms this was a new taste sensation. (Thanks Maechen)

Apparently the taste of blood cause the Shoopuff to lose control. The rampage happened fast. 6 Hypello lost their lives. Eaten by the now meat eating berserk Shoopuff. No one knows who the Hypello were since they have no names and no one cared regardless.

The Shoopuff smashed into the sphere sides cracking it wide open and the Shoopuff ended up impaling itself on a long broken sphere shard. It took twenty six minutes to bleed out before the Shoopuff died.

Dozens of people in the stadium were also killed in the destruction. Hundreds more hospitalized.

This destruction led to multiple electrical fires and malfunctions to the stadium machina. This included the locker room door locks. They apparantly short circuited trapping the Luca Goers inside their locker room during all the commotion.

Autopsies confirm that all of the Goers died from smoke inhalation, except for Bickson. Seemed they all suffocated and choked to death. A butt plug was found on Graav's person.

Bickson was a tad more unlucky it seems. Ninety percent of his body was covered in 3rd degree burns. A couple hours ago he was finally pronounced dead after pooping his pants.

The last thing he saw was a rematch game between the Aurochs and the Glories on the sphere. Wakka's attack reels were on the line for the winners. As Bickson's hearing left him he could faintly hear Bobba's replacement announcing Tidus had scored putting the Aurochs up 3-1.

Jiro
04-17-2014, 07:36 AM
The Goers were always going going gone :colbert:

Forsaken Lover
04-18-2014, 10:31 AM
After losing to the Aurochs Bickson put on a wig and a summoner's robe and became Isaaru.

Tru fax.

Rocket Edge
04-19-2014, 12:11 AM
Ride ze Shoopuf?