How does Auron keep his armpits so smooth?

[Parker]

During a FMV (forced motion video) in the town of Luca (one of the largest towns in Spira (the fictional world in which FFX is set)), we see Auron (a dude) remove his arm from his coat during which we get a peek at his armpit.

ITS BARE.

THERE IS NO HAIR.

I think there are a ton of reasons a guardian might decide to go for hair removal. The main one is that being a guardian is gruelling, and there isn't a whole lot of time on the pilgrimage to take a decent bath or shower! So you get sweaty and gross. With armpit hair, it traps the sweat and dirt and gets smelly super fast. When you don't have hair there all you need is a wet wipe or rag and just give the pit a quick rinse every so often! Efficient!!

MY QUESTIONS IS THIS:

What method of hair removal do you think Sir Auron uses? Does he sneak out every morning to Bic that shit? What about ingrown hairs and irritation rash? does he carry moisturiser?

What about wax? This might be useful, you wouldnt have to wax very often. maybe Rin offers this service in his shops?! discuss.

OR AMYBE he's had some sort of procedure done. laser surgery removes hairs by zapping them at the root (idk if this is true i was gonna wiki it but i didnt. sorry). this would also help explain why there is no stubble in his pit. hair just never ever grows there!

WHAT DO YOU THINK?!!!!

[Mirage]

he flexes his muscles and shoot the hairs out of his skin

[Ayen]

Wax. And he doesn't even flinch.

[Pumpkin]

He just doesn't grow armpit hair. He's a late bloomer

[Pete for President]

He uses that big blade of his to shave like real men do.

[Noctis Caelum]

He drinks from his jug of alcohol. Then when he farts, it's so heinously manly that his armpit hairs decay rapidly.

[Rantz]

Hair doesn't grow when you're dead. That's why he's hanging on to life, to enjoy having smooth armpits without ever having to shave again.

[Psychotic]

Why do you never see anyone else in Spira wearing sunglasses? It is because Auron uses a densely woven compound of armpit hair and Tidus's tears to form a glass-like composite. Why do you think he hangs around in Dream Zanarkand calling Tidus a baby all day? It's fun, but Auron gets no pleasure out of it. He's true to his duty.

[Parker]

wow spoilers

[Alive-Cat]

When Auron was a small child, he used to play in the sea for most of his days. The water was so cold, but he didn't mind! It made him feel alive.
One day he was swimming really far and he found a shark that was injured. One of it's fins had a nail sticking out of it. Young child Auron said 'i can help you if you want' and the shark went 'rjiijrfiejfiwejklmcsiojiieijfew' and Auron thought for a moment and then said 'i'll take that as a yes!'

He pulled the nail out and the shark was happy. 'thanks auron that's such a great relief to me' and Auron said 'just remember you owe me one for the future, and i may call upon you to do a service for me'

After Auron hit puberty he grew hair everywhere, especially in his armpits. It would drape down his arms, tickling him all the time, so he was constantly laughing. People thought he was crazy. 'that auron guy always laughs all the time he's so weird'

When Auron got sick of this and people's negative opinions of him, he sought out the shark he once knew and said 'you owe me, bite off all my armpit hair once a week for the rest of my life' and the shark said 'it's a filthy job but someone's got to do it'

Auron never had armpit hair after that. He was happy.

57292

[Parker]

^^^^ best post ciddies 2014 ^^^^

[Christmas]

When Auron was a small child, he used to play in the sea for most of his days. The water was so cold, but he didn't mind! It made him feel alive.
One day he was swimming really far and he found a shark that was injured. One of it's fins had a nail sticking out of it. Young child Auron said 'i can help you if you want' and the shark went 'rjiijrfiejfiwejklmcsiojiieijfew' and Auron thought for a moment and then said 'i'll take that as a yes!'

He pulled the nail out and the shark was happy. 'thanks auron that's such a great relief to me' and Auron said 'just remember you owe me one for the future, and i may call upon you to do a service for me'

After Auron hit puberty he grew hair everywhere, especially in his armpits. It would drape down his arms, tickling him all the time, so he was constantly laughing. People thought he was crazy. 'that auron guy always laughs all the time he's so weird'

When Auron got sick of this and people's negative opinions of him, he sought out the shark he once knew and said 'you owe me, bite off all my armpit hair once a week for the rest of my life' and the shark said 'it's a filthy job but someone's got to do it'

Auron never had armpit hair after that. He was happy.

57292


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NPQVrjnC1jo

[Alive-Cat]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NPQVrjnC1jo

I knew you'd know what Auron's favourite song of his youth was!

[metagloria]

...he's old. you ever seen old people's armpits? the hair just goes away.

[Lone Wolf Leonhart]

I think there are a ton of reasons a guardian might decide to go for hair removal. The main one is that being a guardian is gruelling, and there isn't a whole lot of time on the pilgrimage to take a decent bath or shower!

They can't change their clothes :zombie:

[Ayen]

...he's old. you ever seen old people's armpits? the hair just goes away.

My dad's armpits disagree.

[Parker]

gonna ask my dad for a peek at his pits when i see him tomorrow and i suggest everyone reading do the same


we can get to the bottom of this guys

[Alive-Cat]

Old people's pits are where everything you lose goes to die like socks :(

[Jiro]

I reckon he just gets Lulu to burn them off.

[Parker]

they gotta whack her into overdrive mode so she can Fira Fury everyones back sack and crack

[Jiro]

gotta be hairless for maximum streamlining in blitzball

[Sephex]

He sticks his armpits in the farplane juuuuuuuuuust enough to shave his pits.

[Parker]

*auron stix pitz into farplane*

chappu: one second darling we'll have u looking FABULOUS

*chappu and lord jyscal start pluckin with tweezers*

[maybee]

http://solippy.co.uk/catalog/images/venus_shaver.jpg

[fat_moogle]

I reckon he just gets Lulu to burn them off.

He gets Lulu to cast sleep on him. When he's asleep she casts Fire on both his armpits and singes off the hair. She then casts Blizzard to sooth the burns, before physically attacking Auron with her Moogle plushie to wake him up. Job done!

[Parker]

please dont post my FF sex fantasies, fat moogle

[Alive-Cat]

We need to get comfirmation from Square as to who's theory is the correct one. Mine probably, because I had picture proof afterwards! :greenie:

[Christmas]

This is why Parker is banned. You never question the legendary Guardian. :gator:

[Shauna]

i just wonder what parker's up to these days

[Christmas]

In Discord being a Parker Imposter.

[Mr Gashtacular]

I reckon he just gets Lulu to burn them off.

think about this sometimes. like how did it start. did auron come to lulu or did lulu come to auroin. was the first time an accident in battle but auron decided he liked it? this excellent thread raises more questions than it answers!