Let's Play Stand Guard Once More

[Spooniest]

I tried doing a lets play of this before but I was doing it wrong. Sanky to shion for showing me how to do it right.

This is a mod of Final Fantasy III (v1.0) that I made years ago for lulz.

Enjoy!

59123

I'm gonna play my hack of Final Fantasy VI and make fun of myself a lot

59124

I changed it! I think one of Sky Render's versions called it the "Demon War." Yes I know it is wrong, but it takes up fewer spaces. :3

59125

Yeah cuz those aren't destructive to the environment or anything

59126

MAGIC EVERYWHERE IN THIS BITCH

59127

A quote popularly attributed to Georges Santayana.

59128 59129
59130 59131

SPOILER: Biggs and Wedge are toast.

59132 59133
59134

We're going to be much more concerned with green-haired-destroyer-of-worlds.

59135

Time to march through that snowfield! The theme that plays here is known as "Death On The Snowfield," but it's actually the main theme of the game's main character, who will be revealed straightaway! Huzzah! Off to a great start here!

59136

I changed it :3 Cuz I wanted to

59137

Since the skill slots for the MagiTek Armors (as piloted by Dead and Deader) got all these "????????" skills added to them when I hacked it, I decided to give them actual skills. Nothing earth-shaking, but now they can try for an instakill attack with the Blaster. It's bitchin when it works

59138

Yes, green-hair lady, kill them in one hit with your Bio Blaster. Thanksssss

59139

I played this game for years without knowing that the second battle with the guards is skippable. If you don't walk in a straight line, the battle never triggers. Ha!

59140 59141

Then they get surrounded...the game is trying to teach you about the battle system early, so you won't be shocked to get pincer attacked for the first time...I kinda wish they'd have saved it and let it shock me. :/ Oh well.

59142 59143

So I get attacked again, and this time I...wait, green-hair lady can use Bio Blast to one-shot this battle too. So nothing to see here, move along

59144

I think they are suspicious

59145

Woolsey calls this a Repo Man and Slattery calls it "Highway." So I combined them into "Highwayman..." LOLZ

59146

That's all for tonight. You like, iz good

[chionos]

And still of a winter's night, they say, when the wind is in the trees,
When the moon is a ghostly galleon tossed upon cloudy seas,
When the road is a ribbon of moonlight over the purple moor,
A highwayman comes riding
Riding--riding--
A highwayman comes riding, up to the old inn-door.


I'll quote you spooniest, if I may:


MOAR

[Spooniest]

Let's go!

59149

When last we left our intrepid heroes, they were committing a war atrocity and then hiding in a cave

59150 59151

Why do they have to ram the wall? Is it too hard to burn down with a fire beam or something

59152 59153

This guy...doesn't mess around

59154

Now we fight-a da boss!

59155 59156
59157

They splain this stuff to you, it's your fault if you die

59158

In this fight Bio Blast is useless cuz it'll hit the shell, so I go with TekMissile.

59159

w00t

59160

Stating the blindly obvious like Counselor Troi never could

59161

Intelligent input, Wedge why don't you just have another beer then (http://youtu.be/ryH5cga0yUI?t=33s)

59162

I've got a bad feeling about this

59163 59164
59165 59166

Imagine the reviews if the game ended like that

Good morning to you! I will be back in a while with m0AR

[Pumpkin]

What did I show you how to do?

Good LP spoons :)

[Spooniest]

Let's go!

59205

So the green haired destroyer of worlds wakes up in a bed with a creepy old guy staring at her! This isn't weird...?

59206

...In the best gorram RPG ever made, so stop complaining

59207

I need an adult ARVIS: I am an adult!

59224

If the game started here you'd wonder if she was drunk or something, but actually her head hurts because she EXPLODED, what the hell game?

59210

Mind control! Twice as fast as breaking someone's spirit and just as demoramalizing!

59211

I'd be freaking out too, that means you don't know where your food is

59212

Is this guy a doctor or something?

59213

Garth...that was a haiku. (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jsbaRQvmm9c)

59214

The green haired destroyer of worlds has a name!

59215

Once again, is he a doctor or something cuz he sure seems to know a lot

59216

Those brown things are dogs, I take it from the barking noise

59217

This all just went south quick

59218

And this guy seems pretty upset

59219

Durrr what are the things

59220

MISSION 1! (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ie5w31DtIw8)

59221 59222

So he ushers me out of the house, prolly cuz I did steal the Elixir out of his Grandfather Clock

NEXT TIME

59223

Durr

[Spooniest]

Let's go!

59231

So she gets caught trying to sneak out the back way

59232

And escapes into the Caves of Narshe (http://www.cavesofnarshe.com/)

59233

Terra gets caught a lot

59234

Oh trout

59235

You did not see it but she fell down the hole

59236

Dream sequence!

59237

This is Kefka. Don't feel bad for hating him, everybody hates Kefka

59238 59239

59240

He's kind of a dick

59241 59242

59243 59244

And this Ghastra guy doesn't seem very nice either

59245

But on to better things! Time for a new character

59246

He looks shocked

59247

another haiku

59248 59249

59250

Bull trout! Anyway it looks like things are moving forward

59251 59252

59253

Yeah and they don't even give a smurf

NEXT TIME

59254 59255

POLITICAL DRAMA

[Spooniest]

Let's go!

59262

I've just about had it with Old Man who knows everything

59263 59264

"Our friends in Figaro" was an edit I made as a result of a conversation with my brother...I don't remember the rationale behind it, but it's got alliteration :3

59265

SWOOP SWOOP (https://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_detailpage&v=TEca5YGy2lE#t=179)

59266

Is she dead or sumpin'

59267

Then the ever-tenacious Marshal shows up

59268

Only cuz you suck at fighting

59269

:D

59270

Now are the moogles!

59271

Kickass

59272

If you hide here until everybody walks by...

59273

Then move here right before the last guy goes by...

...You can get to the Marshal before a battle even triggers

59274

...Like so!

59275

Most people don't realize that the Marshal won't start using his Charge attack until after both dogs are beaten. So I leave one alive to cripple his battle strategy. Take that game!

NEXT TIME

59276

VICTOLY

[chionos]

Moogles! woo-hoo.

[Also: lazy ass, fight all the fights! =P]

When are we going to get a Final Fantasy Moogles game?

When!?

How is this not a thing already?

Final Fantasy: The War of the Moogles
starring Mog as King Mog the Cuddly
and Queen Meg the Cute-as-a-button
and Princess Mag the Squeeky

Against the evil Tonberry empire led by King Stabby the Slasher King
And Choppy the Chef, a good Tonberry who helps the Moogles defeat his own people, because all he wants to do is stab vegetables, not Moogles.

Am I off topic? Sorry Spoons, but this should be a thing. Can't help myself. Play on, bro.

[Formalhaut]

Good LP! Keep it up!

[Spooniest]

Let's go!

59278 59279

59280

So this Locke guy picks up Terra and runs like hell...bonus points if you catch the subtle SotN reference here.

59281 59282

Moogles were originally mentioned here but I rewrote it... :>

59283

Mind fog eh? You really need to get that looked at

59284

Amnesia is a side effect of concussions, so there's usually dizziness and vomiting involved...but we can't have Terra being not sexy, can we? :3

59285

After he took my circlet off...I need an adult LOCKE: I am an adult!

59286 59287

That seems suspiciously specific

59288 59289

So I try to go back into the town but this guy catches me, so it's southward ho!

59290 59291

Every game from this era has enemies where you're just like "screw these guys"...usually they appear right at the beginning. Black Wind and Leaf Bunny are two of these...

59292

Here is a castle in the middle of the desert, Figaro, I'd presume (If I hadn't already played this about a zillion times)

59293

I'm gonna go for a full Veldt run this time cuz I'm bored...you have to encounter an enemy formation at least once for that formation to appear on the Veldt. This means you spend the first half of the game basically collecting monster formations, and you can even get redundant formations (say one Leaf Bunny and two Leaf Bunnys and a Black Wind). I try to cut down on these redundant formations, in order to make the Veldt go quicker.

59294

Damn right you better let me in, I'm here on important green-haired-girl-delivery business

59295 59296

59297

So he looks her over and she naturally gets a little peeved at him

59298

Another haiku

59299

Edgar: "That's who I think I am. Who the hell are you"

59300

Locke tries to horn in on Edgar's not-so-subtle schtick here...

59301

...So Edgar whispers something to him and he's off, leaving this defenseless lady right after saying he'd never leave somebody helpless when they've lost their memory? :/

NEXT TIME

59302

Doesn't seem like such a bad guy though

[chionos]

Oh, man. Full Veldt run. That's bold.

[Spooniest]

Wouldn't be the first time. :3

[Spooniest]

Let's go!

59307

See, like I said, not a bad guy

59308

A fair question

59309

Uh...

59310

:|

59311

Pervert

59312

Yeah, I was wondering the same thing Terra

59313

And he just leaves??? Ok

59314

Terra is complaining

59315

So let's explore the castle! As for this, tell ya who's got two thumbs and ain't afraid of Ghastra...THIS GUY :up::up:

er...gal

59316 59317

Haha, n00b

59318

Technically, a Star Wars quote in a Final Fantasy mod should shut down the internet

59319

Ha! This gal wins my favorite person in the Castle award

59320 59321

...Uh, yeah, about that

59322

IN CASE YOU MISSED IT

59323

I like to think that she does eventually end up marrying him, but there had to be some awkward questions about the chainsaw and hockey mask

59324

Sounds like trouble's a-brewin'

59325

Oh so another playable character? But this is no ordinary playable character

59326

Once, in Ancient China, there was a legend that a certain young monk would grow up and become the world's most skilled warrior, and defeat a great evil. There would be 1000 years of peace after this warrior's victory, and all would hail his valiant deeds.

59327 59328 59329 59330

That young monk was on a train that was suplexed by Sabin Rene Mutha Smurfin Figaro.

NEXT TIME!

59331

The real question is, are you gonna feed me cuz I'm wafer-thin :3

[Spooniest]

Let's go!

59333

The original Woolsey is "anything that moves." I changed it cause it made the Chocobos nervous. Though if you think about it, you can put a skirt on anything :3

59334 59335

Settled with a coin toss eh? That seems a stupid thing to do when the governance of a nation is at stake

59336

They didn't feed me so much as a scone! The hell!

59337 59338

And heeeeeere's Kefka! :D

59340 59339

I'll quote Ben "Yahtzee" Croshaw here, to give you an idea how I feel about Kefka:


"I liked how the over-arching story can be summarized in less space than a pamphlet."

SHOWN (http://youtu.be/KmnAL60mfSg?t=2m30s): THERE'S A GUY WHO'S TRYING TO DESTROY THE WORLD BECAUSE HE'S A DICK

59341

He really is a giant ass

59342 59343
59344

And it's not just cuz he's not on your side! He's a dick to everybody, all the time!

59345

LULZ (https://dl.dropboxusercontent.com/u/33809435/KefkaLaugh.mp3)

59346

That seemed uncalled for

59347 59348

It's cold comfort but you do get to hit Kefka on occasion. :3

59349

I take this opportunity to equip the Mithril Pike that I stole from Mog when you weren't looking :D

59350 59351

59352

So he makes you talk to his two guards (SPOILER: ALSO TOAST) before he'll talk to you directly...what a jerk

59353 59354

A lot of things are said

59355 59356

Kefka at least knows how to get to the point quickly...none of this "becoming one with the planet" business, now ;D

NEXT TIME:

59357

Way to go, Edgar, that'll show him

[Spooniest]

Let's go!

59359

So Edgar gives Kefka a big line of bull

59360

And I don't think he's buying it

59361

Ass!

59362

That Edgar doesn't refer to Terra by name here means he hasn't learned her name yet. :3 Seemed legit

59363

Replacing the ellipse here with a simple period speaks volumes about Edgar's emotional state, as well. (lifts teacup with pinky in the air, smokes clove cigarette)

59364 59365

The line about tea and crumpets was taken direct from the Slattery version.

59366

I always try to beat Locke to the stairs :D I succeeded this time, but it's probably because of the dash patch that's built into my mod. :3

59367 59368
59369

Can it really piss Locke off so much that people call him a thief that he'd yell at Terra? I think not, hence the change here :cool:

59370 59371 59372 59373

Which explains where he was just now...think about it, Locke has already gone back to Narshe and talked to Arvis about stuff, then brought that info back to Edgar! Fridge brilliance!

59374

Terra is complaining again

59375

It must be hard for an RPG to convey a convincing stutter. I always thought it sounded kinda natural at times.

59376 59377

If you think about it, Terra has no way of knowing at this point who are the "good guys" or "bad guys" or if there's even a right side to take. It's fair enough that she's confused.

NEXT TIME!

59378

Flip a coin...?

[Spooniest]

Let's go!

59391 59392

Best read in Solid Snake's voice

59393

Best read in Commander Riker's voice :3

59394 59395

Yamate!

59396

Well, if you insist and light my castle on fire, who am I to argue

59397 59398

Gotta hand it to Edgar, he's persistent with his line of bull even though he just got out of bed and his castle is on fire and stuff

59399

Edgar: What am I paying you for??

59400

Rush me to the burn unit

59401 59402

I like to think that Edgar then punches him and says "Not on my ship" (http://youtu.be/nWbSXjZlZ7U?t=15m15s)

59403 59404

This is why I like Edgar

59405

He keeps an ace up his sleeve

59406

Kefka is still being a dick

59407 59408
59409 59410

An order usually reserved for submarines

59411

Locke is clearly enjoying himself

59412 59413
59414

Very Ghibli-ish, to have a mechanical castle that can burrow under the desert, don't you think?

59415

This bears the distinction of being the first time your party's actions injure Kefka in some way. I snapped a photo for posterity. :D

TUNE IN NEXT TIME
SAME BAT-TIME
SAME BAT-CHANNEL

[Spooniest]

Let's go!

59475

Kefka seems unhappy

59476

These guys are such redshirts that they don't even get named

59477

Sure enough they're going to try to kill us

59478

Edgar is upset about something

59479

Yeah, u mad bro?

59480

To be honest, it always seemed kind of ridiculous that Locke has no reaction to seeing Terra cast magic for the first time, and needs it pointed out to him by Edgar. My estimate of Locke's intelligence = -20

59481

:|

59482 59483
59484

Now he gets it

59485

Terra's all "Idk lolz"

59486

The M-Tek Armor Pilots:

A: So, how's it going?
B: Oh, three days away from retirement
A: Hey that's great
B: Yeah, I'm planning to enjoy myself

59487 59488
59489

Anyway, they seem to have reached a consensus

59490

She winks at them? There seems to be some subtle humor here that I have never quite picked up on

59491

Anyway we KILL ZEM and ZEY DIE

Do you think this scene should have been cut? It's not nearly as good as scene 27, but it's much much better than scene 42

[chionos]

I always took the wink to mean "that's not the only difference between us, boys. Look at dese curveses." Or something along those lines. Even though Terra isn't much of a flirt.

What has always bothered me about the conversation between Edgar and Locke is that Edgar is so surprised and flustered by Terra's use of magic, but then he's all diplomatic and political about their differences.

I guess from all of this we're supposed to be getting some flirting or something going on between Terra and Edgar, but the dialogue doesn't convey that very well.

But anyway, keep going Spoons.