Let's Play Resident Evil 2 badly

[Old Manus]

Hello folks,

A recent slightly-more-erotic-than-it-should-be dream involving Leon "Your right hand comes off?" Kennedy prompted me to decide to dust off the old PS1 emulator and replay my favourite Resident Evil game of the group that I admit actually happened (read: every one until RE5). It's a funny old game, so I thought I would make it a bit more interesting by documenting it in a form that some guy on SomethingAwful did a lot better many years ago. I will probably end up achieving the same thing I do when I play most games these days, which is get about a third of the way through it then lose interest. With that in mind, here we go:


http://i.imgur.com/cbRqUvi.png?1

Let's do this. We're playing as Claire, partly because it is apparently the canon version of the story (not that Capcom decided to care come roughly the time of RE:CV), and partly because I don't think I've actually played this scenario as her.


http://i.imgur.com/jmSVqXh.png?1

Pshaw, for 1998, maybe. This trout doesn't even touch the sides anymore. The police hand it out to kids at schools as part of their 'get off the streets' campaigns.

We start off with a standard slideshow-voiceover intro detailing the events of the first game, and how they essentially have no bearing on anything that happens henceforward, apart from the whole zombies part. Remember this guy?

http://i.imgur.com/5KD7pNQ.png?1

That trout gave me the fright of my life back in 1997, no joke. Made me stay away from this game until at least a decade later.

So yeah let's just skip the lengthy intro that I'm sure looked pretty impressive at the time but is now just laughably bad, and have the cliffnotes - Claire is in town to look for her brother Chris (of RE1 fame), and bumps into rookie cop Leon (first day on the force! What are the chances?) while escaping from the recent zombie infestation. They get separated, and...

http://i.imgur.com/gVcI7vc.png?1

...the DFS sale has finally ended!?

http://i.imgur.com/eRWsvc2.png?1

Nope, just zombies. Welcome to the game. The objective at the moment is not to get the hell out of town, but to the safety of the police station! :grover:


http://i.imgur.com/2LkQJpo.png?1

Claire's pea-shooter carries slightly fewer bullets than Leon's, and I swear is actually less powerful, but my memory may have faded. She also comes equipped with a gigantic pocket knife (she's obviously just come back from a trip to Swansea), and a lockpick, which will soon be saving us the ballache of going around looking for tiny keys, which we would have to do if we were playing as Raccoon City's finest.

A quick dash around the corner, ducking from some zombies leads us to the local gun shop.

http://i.imgur.com/FVXG98u.png?1

Woah, there! Can you not tell I'm not a zombie by the fact that I just used a door!?


http://i.imgur.com/FGFAgI5.png?1

"Nipple bleeding affects thousands of men nationwide."


http://i.imgur.com/KhoXv4L.png?1

Kendo the gunsmith makes his introductions and assures as that we'll be safe here, handily locking the door which for some reason he didn't lock earlier as he barricaded himself in from the hoards of the undead.


http://i.imgur.com/Pb1H7kk.png?1

Well, it is a zombie apocalypse. I'm sure we can raid the local gun shop for ammunition.


http://i.imgur.com/SAGd47I.png?1

But suddenly! Zombies crash in through the window and attack Kendo in a savage free-for-all that I totally forgot to screenshot! Let's get the hell out of here!


http://i.imgur.com/gVDCVbp.png?1

Actually, let's stay behind for a moment. Kendo doesn't look like he needs that crossbow anymore...

http://i.imgur.com/YtosgE1.png?1

http://i.imgur.com/Yq3Q57o.png?1

Yoink. If we were playing as Leon, we would get the shotgun here, which is arguably far more useful, but who cares, it's a god damn crossbow!


http://i.imgur.com/aKeSqfV.png?1

Okay, let's continue to the police station. As streets do not exist in Raccoon City, one can only get from one place to another via a complicated system of alleyways.


http://i.imgur.com/whdh2zY.png?1

Unfortunately, a few of the local pondlife want Claire to engage in some 'full contact b-ball' on the court first. Sorry, but we have places to be.


http://i.imgur.com/V9SeToI.png?1

The alleyway ahead is blocked by Kendo's ridiculously precise parking. Fun fact: on the demo version, this van isn't here, and you can just carry on and bypass the next few screens (don't let anyone tell you I don't teach you pointless trivia). As it is, we must take a short detour.

A few corners and a game of tag with a few zombies later, and we reach the police station!

http://i.imgur.com/HxEG7cf.png?1

http://i.imgur.com/qRHves7.png?1

Or at least what a police station would look like if the blueprints were drawn up by the phantom of the opera. Seriously, what the hell? Now I know where Raccoon City Council's road budget went.


All the rooms bar one are locked. The one that isn't leads us to the first living person we'll meet on our adventure. Meet Marvin, the friendliest cop ever.

http://i.imgur.com/0ju6nR2.png?1

He tells us that Chris has already left town. Then tries to get us to save the other survivors in the other rooms. What do I look like, Leon Kennedy? No thanks pal, we're getting out of her-

http://i.imgur.com/kYifJK5.png?1

...fine.


http://i.imgur.com/rMGNdcf.png?1

He kicks us out and locks the door behind us, all while sitting down :grover:


http://i.imgur.com/laNrCtI.png?1

Continuing on, then. First up, we'll take the door on the left side of the main foyer. And we find our first magic box! Time to do the first thing every RE player does when they find their first magic box:

http://i.imgur.com/BgOgKbi.png?1

Get rid of the god damn knife. Continuing our unguided tour of the police station opera house...

http://i.imgur.com/f8LEqlv.png?1

A headless body!

http://i.imgur.com/dY7gWRU.png?1

I twist off my head all the time AMIRITE? shut up

Unfortunately we don't have much time to feel sorry for the guy as we're about to meet our first of the monsters that was relentlessly hyped before release of the game! Meet Jimmy Savile!:

http://i.imgur.com/7hVtUlS.png?1

"THIS IS MY FINAL FORM"


http://i.imgur.com/pcCPtVl.png?1

Nah, this guy is a pansy. Huge letdown. We can just run past him for now.


http://i.imgur.com/0qjKL9s.png?1

Ducking down the next corridor, we find the first of many rooms inside the police station that inexplicably contain full sets of medieval suits of armour. :wacky:


http://i.imgur.com/e6myjHy.png?1

And also the first of many bizarre paintings of nude women. In a police station. This surely can't be part of some ridiculous key-fetch quest, right? Unfortunately, yes it is. Whoever was in charge of security for this building came up with the novel idea of hiding an item integral to the operation of the police station behind a painting in an obscure hallway. And we can't just move the painting out of the way, no. We need to set it on fire :wacky:. If we were playing as Leon, we could use his lighter, but it looks like we're going to have to find another way.


http://i.imgur.com/TgLLOqt.png?1

After dispatching another group of the undead in the next hallway, Claire decides that now is as good a time as any to stop and roll up.

http://i.imgur.com/7L5ovJz.png?1

http://i.imgur.com/r6ewEcH.png?1

BLAZE IT


http://i.imgur.com/Mu7qE9A.png?1

Our first legitimate save room.


http://i.imgur.com/kancdLb.png?1

The magic box is here, so we're going to offload the crossbow for the moment, as I just spent all the ammo taking care of Raccoon City's finest outside the room.


http://i.imgur.com/2ZMRDDu.png?1

The RPD Red Light District was hit hard by the recession.


http://i.imgur.com/AprOHgB.png?1

Moving onwards, it's time for our first pointless puzzle. We need to get the big red jewel out of the statue's hand. Obviously, if Claire just reaches up there and grabs it, the terrorists win. So instead, every officer that wants to gain access to the part of the station it unlocks has to shift the adjacent busts around (then presumably move them back when finished).

http://i.imgur.com/8NLcEEM.png?1

http://i.imgur.com/x02IaDC.png?1

We'll leave our prize there for now, and just continue on as if nothing happened.


http://i.imgur.com/lyxcpW5.png?1

The STARS office!? In this dingy hallway? What is this trout?


http://i.imgur.com/PIhp8n1.png?1

Where the magic happens.


http://i.imgur.com/Uyw5X5Y.png?1

"You just hold R1 and tap X! Snipers hate me!"


http://i.imgur.com/0VC7y3I.png

Filthy MRAs! 59536 Oh, sorry.


http://i.imgur.com/rbVvYk2.png?1

Searching Wesker's desk 50 (fifty) times yields a mysterious 'Film'. Yes, I actually did this.

...aaand find out what it contains in the next episode! Or use google.

[Sephex]

Still my favorite RE game. Everyone has to say something like this, but this seriously brings back some fond memories. Loving the commentary, as well!

[Ayen]

Go to the police station, he said.

It will be a lot safer, he said.

[Sephex]

Go to the police station, he said.

It will be a lot safer, he said.

Right when Leon meets up with Claire in the STARS office, he says, "It's good to see you're still among the living." As he says that, the dude points right at her boobs. I always found that amusing.

[Quindiana Jones]

You don't hear "ballache" enough in LPs. Good show, old bean. :holmes:

[Psychotic]

I love Kendo. He has the same lines for Claire as Leon but they added recordings of him softly saying things like "Darling", "Honey" and "Sweetheart" on the end. "WHO ARE YOU WHAT DO YOU WANT......darling" "I'LL SHOOT YOU IF YOU COME ANY CLOSER THIS IS YOUR LAST WARNING.... sweetheart".

[Sephex]

I love Kendo. He has the same lines for Claire as Leon but they added recordings of him softly saying things like "Darling", "Honey" and "Sweetheart" on the end. "WHO ARE YOU WHAT DO YOU WANT......darling" "I'LL SHOOT YOU IF YOU COME ANY CLOSER THIS IS YOUR LAST WARNING.... sweetheart".

He also adds, "But don't you worry, girly. I'll keep you safe!" At the end of his "I wasn't paying attention to the city until I noticed that there were a few zombies around" speech.

He really wanted to see Claire's red field.

[Shauna]

I love this game. And yes, Claire's story is considered the "harder" of the two campaigns, so it's probably not entirely your imagination that she is worse off than Leon!

[Old Manus]

Alright, I hope you've all invested in some of your finest lotion in our short break, as we're about to continue the nightmare immediately by getting that film developed back in the red light district.

http://i.imgur.com/2ZMRDDu.png?1

http://i.imgur.com/yO2W4zG.png?1

Hnnnnnnngggggg

Well now I've cleaned myself up, let's get on with things. Back in the STARS office, we find our last weapon for Claire stuffed in a wardrobe:

http://i.imgur.com/XwPkFnM.png

The grenade launcher is slow, inaccurate, has trout range, and requires fannying about with three different types of ammo. Luckily, it's pretty powerful.

We found a unicorn medallion on Chris' desk, which means a quick strut back to the main hall to put it back in its place.

http://i.imgur.com/dOuma2t.png?1

http://i.imgur.com/NouUSbh.png

The statue spits out the "Spade Key". One assumes this belongs to Marvin as part of some kind of racist bullying campaign.


Let's take this key to the locked door where we met the first licker.

http://i.imgur.com/Av4Gzcz.png

Turns out to be just a bland room full of files. Why would you hide the key to such a redundant room inside a giant statue that required a special medallion to open? :holmes:



http://i.imgur.com/ZKDvtRn.png

I wonder what that is?


http://i.imgur.com/Nh28UmB.png

This being Resident Evil, raising one's arms above 90 degrees is a physical impossibility. It's time to lumber about with a small stepladder first!


http://i.imgur.com/OtQQ4bS.png

http://i.imgur.com/mM8Botq.png

Answers on a postcard as to why Claire would think to pick this up, ever. Ho hum. Moving swiftly on...

http://i.imgur.com/THextRV.png

A safe!


http://i.imgur.com/Wk22hxQ.png

Well, trout.


http://i.imgur.com/caHlJNG.png

Okay, I'm lost. My my memory isn't what it's used to be.


[SCENE MISSING]


http://i.imgur.com/lSEimE5.png

Okay, we're back on track. After 15 minutes of padding about trying remember where to go next, back near the STARS office we run into this touching scene of a young survivor trying to make the best of their situation with her father. Claire's interruption obviously made them jump, explaining her screams and prompt escape.


http://i.imgur.com/g80oVsX.png

Claire smokes him. Stranger Danger is real. Men shouldn't be around children.


In the next hallway we run into an old friend!

http://i.imgur.com/aeuVmcC.png

Leon hands us a radio and tells Claire to basically piss off. He must have twigged that she was about to spend the next few hours trying to save that young girl, and sensibly wanted no part of it. I hear he has his own saucy young asian lady to chase.


http://i.imgur.com/IQBicKz.png

Oh, God...


http://i.imgur.com/Pm0ZZY1.png

Let's think about this for a moment. Firstly, when was the last time you saw a police station with a fully stocked library? Secondly, they built switch-operated moving bookcases? Thirdly, what?

Whatever. A brief bit of feng shui later and the walls open to reveal this square trinket:

http://i.imgur.com/rAg5pR3.png

It'll come in handy later.


http://i.imgur.com/9sdHUtU.png

We're on the first floor of the main foyer. I don't recall seeing these zombies up here earlier though...


Across the hall is another save room, with a note from the police chief's secretary. Time for some character development!

http://i.imgur.com/lHuFTgC.png

http://i.imgur.com/odjxkOi.png

Typical plebian non-art graduate. She just doesn't understand what real art is. In fact, it's not for people like her to understand. Where is this Police Chief? I feel like standing with him in front of a Damien Hirst piece and stroking my chin sagely. His office is just around the corner.

http://i.imgur.com/0DcqwqE.png

Oh.

Looks like we need to put the fire out.

http://i.imgur.com/MIqC9Qb.png

Say, is that a water tank conveniently placed above the wrecked helicopter? A job for the crank, maybe?

:lol: Of course not. We need a different useless piece of junk for this particular job.


http://i.imgur.com/ySbhvtD.png

A hop, skip and jump around the corner leads us to a substation, with some goodies inside!

http://i.imgur.com/WUmWq52.png

Do we really need two bowguns? You're damn right we need two bowguns! :smash:

http://i.imgur.com/gDCBYpD.png

And the useless piece of kit, too. A double header.


http://i.imgur.com/hhqqW3C.png

Let's carry on, then. We'll start by going through this door which looks totally safe and definitely not a trap in any way.

http://i.imgur.com/cMXTFMT.png

http://i.imgur.com/FBRrrIW.png

JESUSsmurfINGCHRIST

Underwear successfully soiled, we prairie-dog it back to the burning helicopter. At least now Claire smells not that much different to the undead.

http://i.imgur.com/4Q7tGZO.png

http://i.imgur.com/Iya5Vti.png

That's it? Christ, we're going to be here forever.


http://i.imgur.com/U1TUivp.png

A few hours later, now we need to get past that broken door to get into Chief Irons' office. A crowbar job? The crank!?

Nope, we need C4 and a detonator. :wacky: First, let's go next door and get rid of that red jewel we picked up earlier but I didn't mention.

http://i.imgur.com/1jSFVEF.png

Domestic abuse is real.

http://i.imgur.com/ZimRy03.png

With that off our chest (and onto another) we can pick up the Diamond Key that's in here and spend the next half hour aimlessly using it on every locked door in the building until we stumble upon the right one. For speed's sake, this is the right one:

http://i.imgur.com/BSsJehc.png

http://i.imgur.com/bfuHILE.png

Inside, we're immediately jumped by about five zombies that I had to kill before I could screenshot. Honest. Inside is another film that we can develop:

http://i.imgur.com/MS3rKQB.png

Tizer's making a comeback, people!

http://i.imgur.com/JtyH7EO.png

And the suspiciously nougat-looking C4! Now to find the detonator.


http://i.imgur.com/N3fEpBP.png

Hmm. Eerie sounding music. Have we been here before?

http://i.imgur.com/EyKZheA.png

It's almost as if they were having a party...

http://i.imgur.com/aPdMHbU.png

Holy trout we're here! Where's Marvin?

http://i.imgur.com/Wbz27V4.png

He's still alive! Maybe we can ask him to give us that detonator-shaped object on the table.

http://i.imgur.com/DrnajC6.png

"The detonator? But that's a family heirloom!"

http://i.imgur.com/7j9ydxN.png

http://i.imgur.com/b3BuWku.png

Claire won't take no for an answer, unfortunately, and blows his head off. We'll take the detonator.


Let's blow some trout up! Next time, at least.

[Sephex]

This is so great! My memories running alongside your commentary! IT'S PERFECT!!!

[Psychotic]

Isn't it really depressing and heartbreaking and also slightly creepy if you read the note about why there's that party stuff? Maybe I'm remembering it wrong. I remember it being "Leon we're so happy to have you here, we've been waiting for you for a long time. We made a special party just so you feel loved - you'll have lots of happy memories here Leon!" or something like that.

[Ayen]

The citizens of Raccoon City must be really bored to have so many overly complicated, yet extremely simplistic puzzles all over the freaking place.

[Sephex]

The citizens of Raccoon City must be really bored to have so many overly complicated, yet extremely simplistic puzzles all over the freaking place.

Though a joke like this is overplayed these days, I remember my friends and I joking how every officer in the building had a diaper on because the process to get to the bathroom would take so long that they'd unload in their pants before they could get there.

[Old Manus]

They'd need a diaper all right, there are no bathrooms at all in the building.

[Sephex]

No, the Zombies ate them. It's true. I read it on the internet, which is this actual comment. [citation unneeded]

[Old Manus]

Let's continue. When we last left Claire, we had just gotten hold of some C4 and a detonator, ready to blow a hole in the wall to get into Chief Irons' office. Personally, I think the explosives could be put to better use in getting us the hell out of here, but whatever.

We also picked up a lighter from Marvin's desk. This thing is so small that Claire could just store it in her bra, but it takes up the same amount of space as a damn grenade launcher :mad2: With this in hand we can take a short detour to that creepy painting we saw earlier.

http://i.imgur.com/XFdFeqC.png

http://i.imgur.com/Y5vWpgU.png

:wacky:

So now we have the second red jewel, we can put it in the other bust in the room next to Irons' office.

http://i.imgur.com/Jk8u3tg.png

http://i.imgur.com/nqlCE3S.png

http://i.imgur.com/NRxA8cB.png

What is it with all these complicated contraptions being used to store mundane trinkets!

Inside is a broken half of the blue 'Serpent Stone', which means we're probably going to have to find the other half at some point and join them. I'm half expecting being required to run halfway around the police station in order to find some sellotape to put them together.

So with the explosives set, it's BOOM TIME

http://i.imgur.com/VK75Vp4.png

Claire demonstrates that three yards is an acceptable distance to stand safely away from high powered plastic munitions.


Into Irons' office! Let's get some answers!

http://i.imgur.com/FDrSv5j.png

Oh God, I'm so sorry for interrupting. I should have knocked first. I'll leave now and I promise I won't tell anyone I saw anything. I...hang on, what?

http://i.imgur.com/ID6ICmW.png

Leon?

http://i.imgur.com/c2bQNDB.png

"And that's the last time she forgets to record The Great British Bake Off while I'm at work!"


http://i.imgur.com/Qz4ROus.png

Ol' Brian Irons here is to have us believe that everything that has happened is an unfortunate accident, and that the corpse in front of him is the mayor's daughter, who sadly died due to his inability to protect her from the zombie invasion. Even though EVERYTHING we've seen up to this point, from the notes from his secretary to the fact that he just turned around in his chair like a smurfing Bond villain and waved a gun in Claire's face has indicated that this guy is a murderous psychopath with ulterior motives. I'm sorry Chief, but I smell bulltrout here. :holmes:

http://i.imgur.com/huHtKbM.png

Of course, Claire takes it all at face value and leaves him to it. :)

Right, let's get out of here. After all that effort to get the damn bomb...


http://i.imgur.com/MesJ23R.png

trout! This little bitch is trying to steal our gun! You can't do that, you've got a whole solo section coming up where you're supposed to be unarmed!

http://i.imgur.com/q47nLLw.png

"OVERHEAD BELLY TO BELLY SUPLEX EXPERTLY APPLIED"


http://i.imgur.com/TbdJmmk.png

After getting her to calm down, we find that this girl (that we encountered earlier) is Sherry Birkin, the daughter of William Birkin, the guy who developed the G-Virus and is responsible for this whole mess. Were we in the middle east, Claire would just shoot her here and now as some sort of referred punishment, and save ourselves a whole lot of future bother. Also notice the pendant around her neck that is definitely not a plot device that will play a part in the game later on.

No sooner does Claire decide to make it her life mission to get Sherry out of Raccoon City safe and sound, that Sherry just turns around and runs off, while Claire just stands there. I hope she never becomes a mother. Let's move.


http://i.imgur.com/6p75Vt2.png

Irons has disappeared, and taken his corpse with him. That painting behind his chair does look awfully 3D rendered...


http://i.imgur.com/FmiCeKG.png

*groan*


Time to get the pieces to put in here, I suppose...


http://i.imgur.com/wURoah5.png

An interrogation room. Right, we all know what happens here. We've seen it before. Just stay calm.


http://i.imgur.com/T1qX2X1.png

It's just a mirror. Just take what we need and get out. Cool as a cucumber.


http://i.imgur.com/SeZNMtd.png

Right, we've got it. Just be cool, be cool, be coo-


http://i.imgur.com/r7ZYaBi.png

JESUS smurf EVERY smurfING TIME


http://i.imgur.com/AtN2nYa.png

That's two pairs of underwear ruined.


http://i.imgur.com/DgO0Wyl.png

Now we're down in the basement of the police station, and we're reunited with everyone's least favourite dobermans. Funnily enough, this area is pretty much the only place in the game we'll be fighting these things, given the ubiquity of them in RE1. We're looking for the last of the 'suit' keys - the club key. Why it was hidden down here is not for us to ponder. Let's look around.


http://i.imgur.com/jWtrIfw.png

smurf. That. trout. Next!

The next room along is a generator room with an absurd switch puzzle.

http://i.imgur.com/yYiVEE1.png

You have to flick the switches (which make the power gauge go up) so that you end up with 80 volts, which powers up a card reader for a door around the corner. No, this doesn't make any sense.


Continue on a bit and we run into Sherry again. How the hell did you get down here without the right keys? :colbert:

http://i.imgur.com/taC7RBx.png

Claire once again proves that she is useless by losing her again. Do I smell a solo segment?


http://i.imgur.com/Yo2WJP8.png

Meet Sherry. She is small, slow, and completely unarmed apart from a first aid spray and a tearjerker family photo. Strangely enough, she can also take more hits than Claire before copping it :wacky:.


http://i.imgur.com/r6j9t7g.png

Luckily, the only enemies we have to face are two dobermans that are chilling out at this...substation I guess? Are we outside? I thought we were in the basement?


Long story short, Sherry runs around a bit and comes up with our coveted Club key and a stash of grenades for the grenade launcher. Even better, she then buggers off again.


Okay, I guess it's time to go into the Autopsy Room...

http://i.imgur.com/WfcwqFB.png

This is not a good idea.

http://i.imgur.com/5UuTF3J.png

A curiously rendered coffin door?

http://i.imgur.com/m8nO2lX.png

Oh Capcom, you silly snakes.

http://i.imgur.com/h87dubm.png

Inside the cupboard is the card key for the door we mentioned earlier.

http://i.imgur.com/dY8pZzE.png

"Hi, my name is Solomon. I'd like to talk to you about God"

http://i.imgur.com/pT2hoZO.png

FOR GOD'S SAKE WHY DID I EVEN COME IN HERE


http://i.imgur.com/ZQBeznY.png

Okay, time to use the card key.

http://i.imgur.com/23WlJCu.png

Inside is a locker with a choice of two items, or both. The catch which Capcom don't tell you about is that whatever you take, Leon won't be able to on the B Scenario. Seeing as you're never really that far from an item box and I'm just too damn stingy to ever use the submachine gun, we'll leave them both for Leon. Claire is such a giving person.

Onwards and upwards!

http://i.imgur.com/Vq4LBD4.png

http://i.imgur.com/KThoRvo.png

In here is nothing but an unfortunate bloke who sleeps every night next to a box of grenades, and presumably died protecting them. That's it. We just went all the way through the basement to find a hidden key that unlocks some cop's smurfing dorm room. The key unlocks one more door, however...

http://i.imgur.com/VzkXcCY.png

http://i.imgur.com/qWJXPs4.png

Another puzzle. Good job I brought the lighter even though I was given absolutely no indication that I would need it, otherwise I'd have to run all the way back to the basement.


http://i.imgur.com/xqrYe6m.png

More junk!


http://i.imgur.com/IrbS0GP.png

http://i.imgur.com/C39W88O.png

When walking into the library, Claire is startled by zombies breaking the windows in a corridor on a completely different floor. We have no reason at all to go back there, so what is the point of this threat? :grover:


http://i.imgur.com/NOJf21J.png

And now...the Raccoon City Police Station...clock tower. A clock tower. In a police station. Yep.

http://i.imgur.com/rEUUQRe.png

Is...could this be...a job for the crank!?!? Finally! Shame I didn't bring the damn thing. Back to the item box...

59550

http://i.imgur.com/gxpyoeZ.png

http://i.imgur.com/yUv5PgV.png

A hidden staircase.


http://i.imgur.com/7GyYYI1.png

And here's where we put the cog we just picked up. Now we can get the clock going again, because this is one of the first things that needs to be done during a zombie outbreak.

http://i.imgur.com/cSBFB0Y.png

The other half of the stone. We don't need sellotape, thank God.


Back to Irons' office to place our stones in - oh, smurfing hell.

http://i.imgur.com/gTKW19A.png


Slip the stones into the wall, and...

http://i.imgur.com/G22cB5P.png

Another secret passageway!


That's finally the end of the Police Station for us. Don't worry, it only gets more farfetched from here.

[Sephex]

This is an excellent let's play. Seriously making me want to play through this again.

[Ayen]

http://i.imgur.com/q47nLLw.png

"OVERHEAD BELLY TO BELLY SUPLEX EXPERTLY APPLIED"

FINISH HER!

[Pete for President]

I caught up and I want more!

[Old Manus]

So when we left our heroine, we were about to enter a super-secret hidden passageway in Chief Irons' office.

http://i.imgur.com/4DBQVEj.png

The hidden passageway leads to a hidden elevator. Possibly even Claire is getting fed up of Sherry by now, as she decides to leave her on her own in the zombie-infested death trap of a police station, while she takes the exit herself.

http://i.imgur.com/WcwwNPd.png

So we just took an elevator on the first floor (second floor, for those from the western colonies) downwards, to some kind of dungeon. According to the map, we must have just crashed through a ground-floor office to get here. This place is making the Overlook Hotel look architecturally sound.

Rounding the corner...

http://i.imgur.com/fVRT4tq.png

"Ooh, talk to the hand because the face ain't listening, gurl!"

http://i.imgur.com/5D1CkOW.png

"I meant my hand, Chief!"

http://i.imgur.com/OP6EgVh.png

The mutant arm shoots its hot, sticky load down Irons' throat, and he chokes and collapses to the floor. I wish this part was a joke.

http://i.imgur.com/fj8EjHZ.png

Eye wonder who this could be? *shot*


This all happened up ahead, so let's go and see what's up.

http://i.imgur.com/ZzBYzRl.png

Claire catches up to Irons, only for him to point his gun at her again. Christ, man, what is your problem?


http://i.imgur.com/Zux6R8Y.png

He's just about to put a bullet in Claire's head and end the nightmare when he suddenly gets a bout of stomach cramps. No, please, just shoot us. We can't take it any longer.

GRUESOME SCENE ALERT

http://i.imgur.com/ZNvavRM.png

http://i.imgur.com/WvBuUj5.png

http://i.imgur.com/BT3tZVH.png

http://i.imgur.com/xl8XaOJ.png

"Well that's disgusting." 59558

Whatever just climbed out of the Chief's chest has slithered off down the ladder. There's only one thing to do: follow it down! But first, let's take a look around.


http://i.imgur.com/HaXMta1.png

It looks like we've stumbled across Chief Irons' personal sex dungeon. It looks just like mine.

http://i.imgur.com/ZR0HnYX.png

Why would you smear blood on a saw? :confused:

http://i.imgur.com/oIMvI3r.png

Okay, down the ladder. It appears that this police station is built above a giant cave.


http://i.imgur.com/W4Mk9uy.png

Suddenly, whatever smoked Irons slithers into view. It's definitely grown a lot.

http://i.imgur.com/v7clVRb.png

http://i.imgur.com/SLEOxGD.png

http://i.imgur.com/rEWSG8S.png

Boss battle time! He's fairly easily taken down with a few acid rounds. Let's just get on with this.


http://i.imgur.com/x0JOxGZ.png

So...where the hell are we? The sewers?

http://i.imgur.com/PIpeLde.png

No! No we don't!

Sake. All the way back to Irons' office, then, to pick her up.

http://i.imgur.com/QQTWxoD.png

"Where are we, Claire?"
"This is your father's best friend's underground death dungeon, Sherry. Do your best to ignore the instruments of torture and blood-stained operating tables"

http://i.imgur.com/27V98bK.png

"I guess he's only half the man he used to be, Claire!"
"That's the spirit!"

Back into the sewers with Sherry in tow, we get an unexpected visitor.

http://i.imgur.com/1P00vgn.png

http://i.imgur.com/VEgDmD2.png

Run!


http://i.imgur.com/6IWyJNT.png

Through the next door, we immediately lose Sherry once again as she manages to fall down the chute in the left of this picture. How has this girl managed to live this long?

http://i.imgur.com/hG5qwPk.png

http://i.imgur.com/Cycj0S7.png

That's right, it's another Sherry solo section!

In the next room is a lone zombie, some items we can't reach, and a vent.

http://i.imgur.com/weHaxMA.png

http://i.imgur.com/dOFFSkH.png

http://i.imgur.com/UyuNfWq.jpg?1

...Huh?

Wrong exit.


A bit more poking about has us pick up this item that will surely be used in some kind of contrived item placement quest shortly.

http://i.imgur.com/dwFfxAy.png

Then for no good reason whatsoever, the floor falls beneath Sherry!

http://i.imgur.com/qFNZGxZ.png

http://i.imgur.com/E737rz1.png

Oh...trout...threepio! Shut down all garbage compactors in the detention level!

The scene thankfully cuts away just as the monster impregnates Sherry with his seed. Again, I wish I was joking.


http://i.imgur.com/Ls408hN.png

Back with Claire, who decides that just climbing into the hole and following Sherry would just make too much sense, and so decides to find another route.

http://i.imgur.com/x80AwLC.png

An office. Let's just take stock here. We're in a huge underground sewer complex directly below the police station, complete with offices. Are we to assume that all employees would have to get to work every day by walking through Chief Irons' office, down a few ladders, and through tunnels of raw sewage?

http://i.imgur.com/HJdfxQ8.png

Giant spiders! Resident Evil is never complete without giant spiders. They just crawl along the walls and spit acid very inaccurately. To shoot them would be a complete waste of ammunition, so we'll just pretend they aren't there.

Through the next door, we find...uh, oh, trout.

http://i.imgur.com/fTGo5k6.png

Claire continues her schtick of just standing there blankly while people point loaded firearms at her.

http://i.imgur.com/70aylLw.png

Meet Annette Birkin, wife of William Birkin, also known as the giant multi-eyed monster that copped Chief Irons and just impregnated his daughter Sherry Birkin. :gator: She helpfully provides some exposition as to the causes of the whole outbreak, which for the uninitiated, is her husband developed the G-Virus, successor to RE1's T-Virus, which secret evil organisation Umbrella wanted for themselves. They attack his lab, causing him to inject himself with the G-Virus, transform into the mutant demon we know today, kill his attackers, and let the T-Virus loose on the city. Make sense to you? Me neither.

Claire tells Annette that her daughter is on the loose somewhere in the sewers, and she runs off to look for her, leaving us to venture deeper into complex.


http://i.imgur.com/dPOPTCA.png

The valve handle makes a welcome return as part of an attempt to lower a bridge to let us get to the other side of the sewage. Remember, people work here every day.

http://i.imgur.com/UL30oe4.png

http://i.imgur.com/1Lkz6bi.png

A tunnel.

http://i.imgur.com/pEW1P4L.png

This looks eerily long, wide and empty...

http://i.imgur.com/IfAdPh8.png

Sherry! ...and...what?

http://i.imgur.com/TFOyH0Q.png

Someone call Steve Irwin!

http://i.imgur.com/hcgDfVW.png

In a set-piece borrowed straight from Jaws, we let loose a completely pointlessly placed compressed canister (WHAT THE HELL IS IT DOING THERE)...

http://i.imgur.com/PaOSVGW.png

Let him chomp on it...

http://i.imgur.com/xgRXAwg.png

Yipee ki yay, mothersmurfer.


http://i.imgur.com/Z5pEeDE.png

Now to save Sherry, picking up her Wolf Medal on the way.

http://i.imgur.com/dnbo9xT.png

This guy probably just shot himself over working in an open sewer, rather than the whole zombie thing. Looks like he's got another medal.

http://i.imgur.com/mUvR7ZO.png


http://i.imgur.com/fhV7H2b.png

Sticking both of them in this little machine in the right opens up the pathway to the next section. I'll also add that when going with Sherry in tow, if you get too far away from her, she just stops and sulks until you come back to her. Couple this with the fact that she moves very slowly, and you find yourself constantly having to stop to let her catch up, which makes it a right pain when the undead are trying to feast on you.

http://i.imgur.com/Ok4Sp9M.png

An underground train platform...this whole place is built into solid rock. How much did this place cost to excavate and build?

http://i.imgur.com/kcCXFWH.png

Taking the cable car leads us to another section of this underground complex.

http://i.imgur.com/TJuC8C8.png

This one in particular being notable for consisting of nothing but corridors.

http://i.imgur.com/q1UFspg.png

This bloke doesn't disappear when you leave the screen and come back, so something must be up.

http://i.imgur.com/Ba4iFog.png

He's carrying a giant electricity gun! This is almost totally useless apart from against an enemy we will shortly be finding ourselves acquainted with.


http://i.imgur.com/q4Z98Kh.png

Okay, we've somehow ended up outside. A train! Our ticket out of here!

http://i.imgur.com/esfQipH.png

Settling an increasingly ill Sherry down inside, we flip a few switches and get going the hell out of Raccoon City.

http://i.imgur.com/JH1wn1a.png

Hang on, we're going down?


Tune in next time to start the inevitable-secret-underground-factory section!

[Psychotic]

Irons is such a whack job. Isn't he the one responsible for the loony tunes layout of the police station? Also I've never quite figured my head around it - is Claire wearing pink double denim over the top of black lycra? Her outfit makes no sense to me.

[Ayen]

I love you so much for the Dino Crisis and Metal Gear Solid reference.

[Sephex]

Looks like the Police Chief couldn't...IRON out his plans enough to not get killed!

...

I am not good at that, sorry.

[Shauna]

I get the feeling you're trying to say that the plot of Resident Evil makes no sense, or something...

[Old Manus]

Continuing on...


http://i.imgur.com/CHfjsAb.png

To recap, we've just got on the last train out of Saigon, but for some reason we seem to be heading even further into the Earth's core, rather than out of the city. To make matters worse, Sherry is still alive.


http://i.imgur.com/zFzofOt.png

There's a bang on the roof of the train, so Claire decides to go check it out.


http://i.imgur.com/yqzklbp.png

"It's goofy time!"


http://i.imgur.com/DdLOa4d.png

http://i.imgur.com/wAaZrI5.png

http://i.imgur.com/G6zEh3h.png

Boss fight!

Remember the ridiculous lightening gun 'spark shot' that we picked up earlier? Time to make use of it then forget about it forever!

http://i.imgur.com/mqO6PLU.png

A few blasts and he's down and out.


http://i.imgur.com/fNhVYCi.png

The train platform (what is the actual point of the train being there?) comes to a halt, judging by the time taken to beat the last boss and the speed we were travelling, about a mile into the ground. Umbrella don't mess around when it comes to hiding their secret zombie labs.


http://i.imgur.com/e1cKTgq.png

Claire finds an empty office and lays Sherry down inside, furnishing her with her pink jacket which by now is no doubt covered drenched in sweat, raw sewage, and infected zombie blood. High five! Now we need to look for a vaccine for Sherry, before her 'embryos mature' and she starts to look a lot more like her daddy than her mommy.

http://i.imgur.com/ESqI2mz.png

trout's getting serious now, so we'll offload the handgun for good. We've barely used the crossbow, so we may as well put it to use now, even though the period when it would have been effective against enemies has probably passed. Doesn't matter though, it's a smurfing crossbow, guys!


http://i.imgur.com/siufOCK.png

Into the super secret Umbrella lab, once again we find ourselves having to turn the power back on.


http://i.imgur.com/zi212af.png (http://imgur.com/zi212af)

I know Umbrella like to cut down on central heating bills, but this is ridiculous.

http://i.imgur.com/4GZJIpB.png

To turn on the power, we need a fuse. To hold the fuse, first we need the 'fuse case'. Once we have the fuse case, we can insert it into this ridiculous contraption which seems to exist solely to insert fuses into fuse cases. Only then can we carry the fuse back to the giant breaker to turn on the power.


http://i.imgur.com/RafMUNe.png

With the power back on, we can have a look at this interesting blast door. We need two people to open it...could this be a job for Leon? We will see in the distant future. For now, we can't sign in as we need to verify Claire's fingerprints first (which is of course something that is performed in a whole different wing of this lab).


http://i.imgur.com/uO1jzcb.png

The enemies down here include these weird plant things, which take a fair amount of punishment before going down. We can kill them all now instantly by turning on a special mutant-plant-killing sprinkler (they think of everything!), but this will only make things more difficult for Leon later on. These guys also have a habit of respawning, so we'll do our best to try and ignore them.


http://i.imgur.com/tjp0jr6.png

Naked zombies! We're definitely near the end of the game.


http://i.imgur.com/uLJnRSs.png

Ever wonder where the Iifa Tree relocated after FF9?


http://i.imgur.com/boLk35e.png

This is our door out of here, but first we need to go on an arbitrary fetch-quest.


http://i.imgur.com/YcaFqZL.png

Into the G-Virus lab, some lab technicians are really dedicated to their work.

Picking up the card key to a locked door we passed earlier, we leave and are jumped by Annette again.

http://i.imgur.com/6JCJEh2.png

http://i.imgur.com/hwlrMNA.png

Annette seems to have lost it completely and appears to care far more about Claire's intentions with the G-Virus than her own daughter who is about to die very painfully in a save room a few corridors away.

And then old Billy himself makes an appearance!

http://i.imgur.com/rZjLFne.png

http://i.imgur.com/AEv35uR.png

"This is for all the times you forgot to record the Great British...oh, I already made that joke.

http://i.imgur.com/jiP2T0p.png

I wonder how Claire is going to break the news to Sherry that the monster that impregnated her with zombie embryos was actually her dad, and he just eviscerated her mother. Maybe she just shouldn't give her the vaccine.


With that loose end tied...

http://i.imgur.com/dJylA9q.png

You can't really see it in this picture, but we are actually fighting a giant moth. Is no creature safe from the T-Virus? Are we to start fighting mutated aphids on the next screen? ...Actually, that would be pretty scary.


http://i.imgur.com/16sHAcA.png

There's a computer in the corner. The username is GUEST, purely because I remember it from a previous playthrough and can't remember where I'm supposed to find this out. Umbrella security, ladies and gents :wacky: Here, we can upload Claire's fingerprint to the system so we can try and open that blast door from earlier on.


http://i.imgur.com/YaHVzMj.png

Tracking back, we spot...

http://i.imgur.com/oblMfMt.png

Leon on CCTV! How did he get down here!? What the hell is he even doing here!?

http://i.imgur.com/vovEyWR.png

"Leon, excellent. I can't be arsed anymore, so can you go and pick up Sherry? She's in the save room near the entrance. Hopefully she'll be dead before I can give her the vaccine. And by the way, both her parents are dead. Later!"


http://i.imgur.com/U4SQk70.png

Now that we've offloaded the dead weight onto Leon, time to get the vaccine, which comes in three parts. The 'catridge' carries it, then we get the 'base vaccine' and insert it into the vaccine synthesis machine to get the actual complete G-Vaccine. The base is formulated inside this mini Large Hadron Collider. Lights throughout Raccoon City presumably dim whenever it is switched on.

http://i.imgur.com/QxAdDyJ.png

We also pick up the MO Disk, so we can leave this dump. But first...


http://i.imgur.com/l8UfWRg.png

Now we just need to do the same thing for Leon in the B Scenario to open the door!


http://i.imgur.com/PBPofjN.png

After dragging ourselves back and forth across two wings of the lab several times, we can finally insert the base vaccine into the vaccine synthesis machine. Why the hell didn't they put this thing next to the base vaccine machine? This smurfing game! :colbert:

http://i.imgur.com/AnHt9FP.png

Now with the vaccine in hand, we can get the hell out of here. Put the MO disk in the big door, go down the corridor, and...

http://i.imgur.com/Br0Z6Zj.png

We have five minutes until the whole complex self-destructs. This can't be a set-up for some kind of climactic final battle, surely...


http://i.imgur.com/UApSGS7.png

http://i.imgur.com/4XXyzP4.png

http://i.imgur.com/F1WL8z5.png

"You're damn right it can! (and don't call me Shirley)"


Right, time to finish Bill Birks off once and for all. Load up the grenade launcher, top up the health, and...

http://i.imgur.com/5DbtZTD.png

Well, trout.

Tune in next time for the thrilling conclusion!

[Ayen]

Sherry is going to have so many different psychological issues that won't be touched on in Resident Evil 6.

[Sephex]

I remember I died several times against that form of "Billy" when I first played RE2. My problem is that I barley had any weapons with real firepower. I finally did it and felt like a badass afterwards.

[Shauna]

I remember I died several times against that form of "Billy" when I first played RE2. My problem is that I barley had any weapons with real firepower. I finally did it and felt like a badass afterwards.

Same here. Except not when I first played RE2. When I recently played. Within the last two years.

Speaking of, you've got through this pretty fast! It took me ages (because I'm terrible, if you couldn't guess).

[Old Manus]

Time to round off Claire's adventure. A short update!

In our last update we ended with Claire getting wasted by William Burkin Turbo Mode. Can our heroine defeat him second time around?



Yeah, I sort of didn't get any decent screenshots. Here's one of him biting the dust, though :monster:

http://i.imgur.com/5KHPC8r.png

http://i.imgur.com/rrA9PfZ.png


The lift finally opens!

http://i.imgur.com/z5JX1gA.png

http://i.imgur.com/JSoyXzD.png

One more godforsaken corridor and it's all over!

http://i.imgur.com/oUP6dJJ.png

Suddenly a fully functioning train (that is actually moving laterally) appears out of nowhere! Could this be our ticket out of here!?

http://i.imgur.com/8GQxckh.png

The strong white man comes to save the day? Anita Sarkeesian and EoEO is going to be frothing at the mouth! :argh:

http://i.imgur.com/HvOgjnO.png

IN CASE OF EMERGENCY STAND PERFECTLY STILL AND MAKE NO ATTEMPT TO BOARD THE TRAIN BRINGING YOU ESCAPE FROM CERTAIN DEATH

http://i.imgur.com/31wbD9r.png

For smurf's sake, Claire!

http://i.imgur.com/kWWWqxc.png

Claire eventually regains consciousness and jumps onto the train at the next carriage. Time for a touching reunification?

It appears Leon did save Sherry, after all.

http://i.imgur.com/cwLHZsQ.png

"She needs to be dead. Leon, you have to tell me she's dead."

http://i.imgur.com/J52BdZl.png

Claire thinks long and hard about the repercussions, before deciding to give her the vaccine anyway. Presumably orally, as I don't see a syringe anywhere around here (and I hope to God she doesn't use it as a suppository).

http://i.imgur.com/DFxZTq6.png

Imagine waking up to this sight.

http://i.imgur.com/EgkqzwQ.png

"Well, it's finally over. Looks like it's time for a GUITAR SOLO!"

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kBGR_iy2DAA

http://i.imgur.com/XRk6E3B.png

No, that actually happens.


http://i.imgur.com/stHkmvD.png

And what's our prize...?

http://i.imgur.com/JSm8g7c.png

I...I...don't know what to make of this.


Well that's it folks. Thanks for bearing with the lack of screenshots at key moments, the unfunny commentary, and missing zombie Brad.



http://i.imgur.com/LmxTkmA.png

http://i.imgur.com/z6Nzwp9.png

http://i.imgur.com/guNGZAa.png

To be continued...?


EDIT: Ok the Youtube bit didn't work. That's a bit anticlimactic.

[Sephex]

Hell yeah. Now it's time for the funniest protagonist ever: Leon. He is such a dork! But somehow a coooooool dork.

[Ayen]

Biker Claire is best Claire.

[Pete for President]

That was very entertaining! Can you do one of Resident Evil 3? :D

[Aulayna]

Damn. The graphics are nowhere near as good as I remember them being, haha.

[Psychotic]

Late but I want to say the computer room has always been my favourite. "Hmm, we need somewhere to store our giant moth. Hey, why not use the computer room? Maximise the floor space, yes? What do you mean the IT guys can't access the server without being covered in giant moth spit?" As if you need a fucking giant moth room to begin with. Like, what was that even all about?

[Sephex]

Late but I want to say the computer room has always been my favourite. "Hmm, we need somewhere to store our giant moth. Hey, why not use the computer room? Maximise the floor space, yes? What do you mean the IT guys can't access the server without being covered in giant moth spit?" As if you need a fucking giant moth room to begin with. Like, what was that even all about?

Looks like the computer had a...





Bug.

[Old Manus]

Damn. The graphics are nowhere near as good as I remember them being, haha.I'm actually running it on epsxe at 720p. In reality they were even worse.

[Old Manus]

That's right folks, it isn't over yet!

It's time to 'discover the true end' and follow our favourite rookie cop Leon Kennedy and his escapades on his first day on the [s]farce force.

http://i.imgur.com/yiVmpet.png

Leon starts off on the other side of the exploded tanker to Claire. But don't worry, he still gets his fair share of zombies. Did we crash into a neighbourhood watch meeting?


http://i.imgur.com/rFPGHyV.png

Leon carries his trusty RPD-grade pistol, as well as a ridiculous amount of ammunition. His key item is the lighter, and judging by the fact that I must have used Claire's lockpick about three times in total in the previous scenario and had to faff around with the item box whenever I needed to produce a flame, I would say Leon having it equipped at all times is far more useful. Let's forget the fact that he doesn't actually smoke, though :holmes: He and Claire also have matching knives, but dispense of any illusions that this won't be chucked at the first opportunity.

http://i.imgur.com/ZyauAiN.png

Leon must take a different route to the station, which is much quicker. We get to the courtyard in only a few screens.

http://i.imgur.com/9DmTbRx.png?1

A few zombies pottering about here, but the real point of interest is that snazzy squad car parked on the right. Very 1970s. The realer point of interest, however, is how that car managed to get into this courtyard in the first place :wacky:

http://i.imgur.com/9euqSYY.png?1

http://i.imgur.com/eRb9rRq.png?1

A quick forage in the gatehouse yields the key to the door across the way. The first of many arbitrary keys that Leon will be jangling about in his pockets in this adventure.


http://i.imgur.com/WPOsYDo.png?1

If you're thinking this place looks familiar, it is (http://i.imgur.com/FBRrrIW.png). Nothing of note in here this time around, though.

A jog out the opposite door and around the corner and we get a flashy cutscene.

http://i.imgur.com/bOytdLO.png?1

http://i.imgur.com/gn9x8HD.png

Subliminal IRA messages daubed on the bottom of RPD helicopters. The scumbags.

http://i.imgur.com/SCrt70t.png

"Get me the smurf out of here! I can still make the evening meal deal at KFC if we punch it!"

http://i.imgur.com/YChLCBS.png

Officer Waistband here is too fixated on blocking the landing zone of his rescue helicopter to notice the zombified remains of The Lighthouse Family shambling up behind him.

http://i.imgur.com/TNiIFr7.png

"No! Not feelgood adult alternative!"

http://i.imgur.com/ODVjUmN.png

:monster: "All together now..."
":grover: "because we are gonna beeeeeee..."
:monster: "...forever you and meeeeee"

http://i.imgur.com/HV1qrsr.png

"The cheese! I can'tesuiopvdfsdfasdfgdfsfsfsf"

http://i.imgur.com/FosCsCp.png?1

"You could be lifted! Lifted! Lifteeeeeee-

http://i.imgur.com/cSlsjFp.png?1

http://i.imgur.com/9CkDrqI.png?1

http://i.imgur.com/Ns36eBS.png?1

And that is why they suddenly disappeared in the late 90s.


Moving on...

http://i.imgur.com/bGPI5jH.png?1

We make our entry to the police station into this second floor corridor.


http://i.imgur.com/iN79JUl.png?1

http://i.imgur.com/3Ip3p5C.png?1

The first of many Small Keys! The fun part is deciding whether or not to put it in the item box because who knows when you'll actually come across the lock.


http://i.imgur.com/FlmyBgk.png?1

In the main hall we find that all the doors are locked. Cheers then. Looks like we need the card key from Marvin.

http://i.imgur.com/f8gW31x.png?1

Not before picking up the shotgun left safely on the reception desk!


http://i.imgur.com/ctVOyNd.png?1

This time around, the unicorn medallion is found in this obscure part of the mezzanine. It can take a while to come across it because you have literally no reason to go over there.

http://i.imgur.com/Hi8w1Ox.png?1

Place it into the statue, and sure enough, it spits out the Spade Key. Is there a cache of Spade keys inside for anyone who needs one?


http://i.imgur.com/J8enopz.png

The valve handle is hidden in the squad room for Leon. I suppose water leaks are pretty common around here, or something.

Back up to the flaming helicopter...

http://i.imgur.com/puZqVv6.png?1

Hang on a moment. Didn't Claire do this? Am I supposed to believe somebody reignited the chopper? :argh:

http://i.imgur.com/cMYkaFW.png?1

:argh:


On the way back inside, we're interrupted by a cutscene (and as far as I can remember, the only time in any of the original RE games that someone uses their hand to operate a door).

http://i.imgur.com/LdxqJkk.png?1

http://i.imgur.com/U4rxuxF.png?1

"A Hind D? Colonel, what's a Russian gunship doing here?"

http://i.imgur.com/LqaPNO9.png?1

http://i.imgur.com/ICFaCPx.png?1

Delivering recurring trenchcoat-wearing enemies, of course.


Join us next time as we play our first round of Run Away From Mr. X!

[Ayen]

LMAO off at the helicopter commentary.

[Sephex]

No matter if you play as Leon in the A or B scenario, the game becomes funnier if you imagine RE2 is an elaborate April Fool's prank set up by the RPD for his first day.

Also, take a shot of hard liquor whenever he says "Ada."

[Old Manus]

Welcome back, boys and grills. When we left last, a giant baldeaded demon crashed through the ceiling of the corridor we were about to enter. Let's go.

Inside the corridor we meet the slightly-more-clothed brother of the Tyrant from RE1. Technically called the T-103, he is more popularly known as Mr. X. Apparently tasked with retrieving the G-Virus sample, he seems more interested in chasing Leon, and will be appearing when we least expect it throughout the game.

http://i.imgur.com/Xua007S.png?1

He mainly lumbers around very slowly and swings punches which hurt like a bitch. If we take him down he usually drops some decent ammo, but we're not really equipped to fight the guy now, so we're going to leg it the hell out of there.


http://i.imgur.com/ULLBvMq.png?1

The B Scenario mainly consists of repeating what Claire did, just in a different order. As such, I'll whizz over the unimportant parts. We're going to need those two jewels again...some jobsworth police officer must have taken them out of these busts and put them back.


http://i.imgur.com/gpVnUkh.png?1

The item box room in the lower east wing now has zombies!


http://i.imgur.com/Z3tBRkw.png?1

The first instance of Leon's lighter coming in handy. That's two horrific paintings incinerated in one evening :wacky:


http://i.imgur.com/Payo7zQ.png?1

The picking up the second jewel on the way to the STARS office...


http://i.imgur.com/VrLP2gl.png?1

We find that the vacuum created by Claire's removal of the grenade launcher has spawned a far superior Magnum. This thing tears through pretty much everything we're going to face but ammo is like gold dust, so we'll pack it away for now.

Carrying on down the corridor...

http://i.imgur.com/F2wH4uy.png?1

Oh, for fuck's sake.

Leon lets her run off into the police station full of flesh eating monsters, and quickly escapes before he has to deal with Claire.


http://i.imgur.com/lWqClD9.png?1

Another round of Push-The-Bookcase yields...

http://i.imgur.com/nHxZtNi.png?1

http://i.imgur.com/5K16oJ1.png?1

...plugs? :argh:


http://i.imgur.com/UzsOBAd.png?1

We also pick up the H.GUN PARTS for the handgun on our travels, which gives us a completely unfunctional stock and allows us to fire the pistol in burst fire and full-auto. Now we're playing with power!


http://i.imgur.com/ZSjJLE0.png?1

A strut through Leon's party...

http://i.imgur.com/SCxSM0o.png?1

...and the sewers...


http://i.imgur.com/SSYNrY7.png?1

...and we run into this sassy lass. This is Ada, and she holds her gun like a straight gangsta :ezpimp: She is also shooting us for no reason.


http://i.imgur.com/5fJ6aMq.png?1

She says she's looking for her boyfriend 'John' (in a police station car park?) and is not possibly a spy actually looking for the G-Virus.

This van looks suspiciously pre-rendered...let's push it out of the way, revealing a passageway behind that Claire was not able to access because her scenario partner is a small child who doesn't pack the muscles (and more importantly, isn't a gangsta)


http://i.imgur.com/ZVSCERU.png?1

As soon as we enter, Ada runs off without warning. This is the first of at least half a dozen times when she will do this throughout the game. It is also the first of at least half a dozen times that Leon will just stand there and shout "ADAAA" (the number of trailing As increasing steadily with each bellow).


http://i.imgur.com/25jqwNC.png?1

Jail cells? In a parking lot? :wacky:


http://i.imgur.com/2VIaGMz.png?1

One of the cells contains this bloke. Did we catch him during some 'alone time'?

http://i.imgur.com/MigKu5G.png?1

This is Ben Bertolucci, a Raccoon City 'reporter' who could only look more like a sterotypical 1950s film noir hack if he was sporting a feathered fedora and had a clunky SLR around his neck. He tells us that he's keeping himself locked in the cell as long as that 'monster' (Bill Birkin) is wandering around, and says there is a manhole leading to the sewers in the next room over.

Leon picks up the crowbar on the desk nearby and heads to the manhole.

http://i.imgur.com/Oo7160w.png

http://i.imgur.com/Azs85Lm.png

http://i.imgur.com/KJVHd0E.png

Now we're in the sewer, complete with electric lighting and oversized arachnids that we can pretend aren't there.


Out the other end, and...

http://i.imgur.com/jT98ABG.png

Who knows at this point.


http://i.imgur.com/XpXwdRo.png

This door impedes our progress. It appears that this is where we need to place these ridiculous chess piece plugs that are scattered around the police department. All the way down here!

We only have one, so looks like this means a trip back above ground to find the rest.


http://i.imgur.com/8SDmXiv.png

Stepping outside, Ada reappears. How did she get here! :argh:

The shutter is blocking the way, so she sportingly volunteers to climb through the pointlessly placed hole above it and see what's on the other side. That's right gang, it's time to slip into Ada's most gangsta of shoes!


http://i.imgur.com/WLX4J4R.png

Sherry makes a brief appearance on the other side but manages to get away before I can put a bullet in her head. She did drop something, though...


http://i.imgur.com/kYGi7TU.png

How you can drop something that is physically chained around your neck is beyond me. Also, that hand. The horror...

http://i.imgur.com/dJss3kU.png

Bonus points to those of you who noticed that this thing is actually at least twice the size of the bling that Sherry had around her neck earlier.


http://i.imgur.com/hBrUaLx.png

Judging from the fact that we're in the same place we did the runabout with Sherry in Claire's scenario and we just saw the girl herself moments earlier, we can glean that Claire is probably also in the sewer somewhere at this very moment. Fortunately she will always manage to leave any room she is in just as Leon is about to enter.


http://i.imgur.com/QebbKkY.png

Long story short, we pick up the Club Key and some ammo, and toss them back to Leon.


http://i.imgur.com/SDsuHVR.png

Ada also uses this as an excuse to run away again. All together now: "ADAAAAAAA"


http://i.imgur.com/tE3gMqO.png

Zombies in the autopsy room have been evicted and replaced by lickers. No big deal. We'll just pick up the key card in here and let's get some goodies!


http://i.imgur.com/92sQCFn.png

http://i.imgur.com/m8Uo2Hf.png

Thanks, Claire!

http://i.imgur.com/37C3kkA.png

We now have a machine gun. Ho ho ho It carries quite a decent amount of rounds and deals alright damage, with the tradeoff being that once the ammo is gone, that's it (at least until much much later). It also takes up two slots, which ain't nuthin' because the sidepack gives us an extra two slots anyway :cool:


http://i.imgur.com/9a2JEaB.png

Through Brian Irons' office to this corridor, strangely reminiscent of something out of one of Saddam Hussein's Baghdad palaces. I kind of got a bit lost at this point, wandering around a bit, but picking up a plug on the way. On the way back...

http://i.imgur.com/9gblu2x.png

Fucker!

http://i.imgur.com/3opmw65.png

Fortunately, like all zombies, Mr. X's biggest weakness is doors.


http://i.imgur.com/imdUCv1.png

The bronze gear is still in here and once again we have to complete a short puzzle in order to obtain it.


http://i.imgur.com/uUteEEp.png

Ho hum.

http://i.imgur.com/9dHHMWq.png

Hmm...the screen goes into letterbox mode.


http://i.imgur.com/hUijUNM.png

"Here's Johnny!"

http://i.imgur.com/9NKTtjZ.png

HOLYFUCKINGSHITMOTHEROFGOD

http://i.imgur.com/XOHtgG7.png

Stand and fight!?

Of course not, we're getting the hell out of here!


http://i.imgur.com/K9c3Wdn.png

Looks like the Capcom developers weren't that absent-minded as to forget to add in the giant hole in the wall in the next corridor. Let's just move on...


http://i.imgur.com/4hEiB8e.png

FUCK ME

http://i.imgur.com/jpOr83S.png

RUNRUNRUNRUN


To the clock tower! And bring the crank!


http://i.imgur.com/gbXMUdH.png

http://i.imgur.com/BeLxynW.png

http://i.imgur.com/1pXCr4Z.png

Fixing the clockwork (again) also reveals a vent we can climb into.

http://i.imgur.com/D4ZktVF.png

Well that made no sense whatsoever.


Hold on! Do I hear something? Ben?

http://i.imgur.com/Rax5eYv.png

http://i.imgur.com/0IFrJck.png

http://i.imgur.com/MfyxomH.png

Well, that's what happens when you wear your hair in one of those ridiculous 90s ponytails...good riddance.


http://i.imgur.com/LmK6qzv.png

Oh, so you let yourself out of your cell now...

http://i.imgur.com/sQhPns8.png

"I know this might not be the best time, but...pull my finger?"

http://i.imgur.com/SQJH68C.png

"...oh."


http://i.imgur.com/KMkeGrn.png

Ada appears...

http://i.imgur.com/N1ZshGb.png

...and runs away...ADAAAAAAA



http://i.imgur.com/a3W1F04.png

Right. Time to pick up the last plug.

http://i.imgur.com/u9Pw64m.png

Nope, no surprises in here this time.

Now we have all the plugs, let's plod all the way back through the sewers and get to that door.


http://i.imgur.com/T9ip6UE.png

Uh oh...

[Ayen]

I want to nominate Old Manus and Sherry for greatest EoFF Rivalry, Winter Ciddies 2014.

[Psychotic]

He loves Sherry like a Gran at Christmas.

[Pumpkin]

I enjoy Claire's outfit

[Pete for President]

Waiting patiently for the next episode :nod:

[Old Manus]

Let's do this.

http://i.imgur.com/7ZEJYXh.png

Time for Will Birkin to make his first appearance. Leon sounds like the only person in building not to meet him yet, even though we've been fumbling around in the sewers for the last hour.


http://i.imgur.com/867gORZ.png

"William Birkin, digivolve to..!"


http://i.imgur.com/fT34zaA.png

http://i.imgur.com/8nrTh0T.png

http://i.imgur.com/BVlOz9G.png

Have you ever thought how pointless it would be to have an eye on your arm? Every time you reached out for something you'd get seasick.


http://i.imgur.com/dcSuAWd.png

Much like Mr. X, Bill slowly plods around the room, swinging his pipe occasionally. In fact, he's probably less threatening than Mr. X. A few shotgun rounds and he falls over the railing to his doom, something which you may notice will become something of a theme from now on.


http://i.imgur.com/WIHCMdT.png

Let's open the chessboard door!

http://i.imgur.com/PwC14xU.png

http://i.imgur.com/2mmf96F.png

Ada drops through a hole in the ceiling!


http://i.imgur.com/DqH35W6.png

"For God's sake Ada where are you finding all these shortcuts! Do you have any idea how long it took me to open that god damn door!?"

http://i.imgur.com/XPE63Xv.png

Oh God...she's not running away. Does this mean...an escort section?


http://i.imgur.com/cLcAgKv.png

Luckily for us, Ada is nowhere near as trout a partner as Sherry. She's armed with her own pea-shooter (with seemingly infinite ammo), doesn't shy away from helping out in a fight, has a decent amount of health, and most importantly, doesn't run like a tortoise in treacle and start sulking when you get too far away.

The more astute of you will also notice that this room is almost exactly the same as one the Claire entered in her scenario, but is not actually the same room.


http://i.imgur.com/MCgqwAD.png

A shove of this locker reveals a hidden door and ladder down. It doesn't really work when 3D objects are so easy to spot over the pre-rendered background.


http://i.imgur.com/2xPYUtR.png

I don't like the look of this one bit.

http://i.imgur.com/NVtXX9f.png

Uh huh, right, ok. So I light this and then all the monsters jump out. Deep breath...

http://i.imgur.com/8aS74ZB.png

...nope, nothing happened. Just some ammo down here. Sorry to let you all down.


http://i.imgur.com/wdoEYIu.png

Back up the ladder and down the lift on the other side of the room, and we run into an old friend! What is she even doing wandering around here anyway? Why doesn't she just get hold of Sherry and book it the hell out of the city? Ada chases her down.

http://i.imgur.com/3qwoVAc.png

"Not so fast, Ada! I need you for your infinite ammo!"

http://i.imgur.com/G33Y895.png

Leon rugby tackles Ada so hard that she explodes blood.

http://i.imgur.com/9GwJtbO.png

Of course, what actually happened was Annette fired at Ada and Leon went full white knight and threw himself in front of the bullet. 59813


http://i.imgur.com/g2i1cL3.png

And now we're controlling Ada, who's first thought after her companion taking a bullet to the chest is to continue to chase down Annette and leave him here for dead in the zombie infested sewer. :wacky:


http://i.imgur.com/ZtJSycp.png

He was a creep anyway.


http://i.imgur.com/jroWib2.png

I couldn't quite screenshot it, but Annette just shot Ada's gun right out of her hand. Annette confirmed for being the best shot in Resident Evil history (which, let's be honest, isn't very hard).

http://i.imgur.com/gG7EpZH.png

From twenty yards away, no less. Now for the cat fight! Excuse me while I open myself a bottle of wine...

http://i.imgur.com/Qug1qgL.png

http://i.imgur.com/nMTqAqf.png

Fallen over a railing count: 2


Ada takes a closer look at Sherry's necklace:

http://i.imgur.com/bxw7Z6L.png

Firstly, that bit that flipped over is definitely far too big to fit correctly. Secondly, OH MY GOD THAT HAND


Meanwhile

http://i.imgur.com/MmM9obh.png

Leon wakes from his coma. Dang, I was sort of hoping he'd die and I'd get to play as Ada from now on.


http://i.imgur.com/myBcgki.png

He brings the advent of any possible death closer, however, by continuing to splash around in sewage with an open and bleeding bullet wound. :|

http://i.imgur.com/nxBhKpm.png

And directly through a garbage tip! :stare:


http://i.imgur.com/rvPdI4M.png

Leon is about to drive his knife into her throat for leaving him for dead, but his wound gets the better of him at the last moment.


http://i.imgur.com/eUjKQeH.png

Ada patches him up by applying bandages on the outside of his sewage-soaked clothes, and all is forgiven. Onward to the cable car, then. What you can't quite see in this shot is that Ada is firing at the spiders. Well, I suppose if you have infinite ammo...


http://i.imgur.com/lo5Zrwa.png

In the cable car, there is a sudden shudder, and Ada falls to the floor and shows us all her anorexic arm.


http://i.imgur.com/Wx0Tzfp.png

Yep, Bill's still alive!

He leaves us alone, though.


http://i.imgur.com/kEGbRbY.png

Now we're into the abandoned factory that is actually just a series of windowless corridors, again.

We also find an upgrade for the shotgun.

http://i.imgur.com/kpeVJl9.png

http://i.imgur.com/WzzNxUZ.png

That thing is genuinely almost the same size as him. It is also mad powerful, capable of blowing zombies clean in half. It's coming up to that time where we can throw away the pistol for good.


http://i.imgur.com/FOU9YA4.png

Unlike in Claire's scenario, the train isn't here, so we have to go and call it first.

http://i.imgur.com/yNKFS8S.png

"A surveillance camera!?" 59814


If we run around the corner to the control room, we can view the feed.

http://i.imgur.com/leow7l7.png

http://i.imgur.com/mBcVArn.png

http://i.imgur.com/a511OP8.png

http://i.imgur.com/04eVyUD.png

trout!


http://i.imgur.com/GCG6ENj.png

I actually fought and defeated him here, but all he dropped was pistol ammo. The bastard. :argh:

http://i.imgur.com/Kqsjg5M.png

Well, the train's here now, so let's get on board.

http://i.imgur.com/pa8FZfW.png

BILL BIRKIN WITH THE GIANT ARM WHICH WE WILL SOON DISCOVER IS NOT ACTUALLY AS BIG AS IT APPEARS IN THIS SCREENSHOT


http://i.imgur.com/Iqw94bN.png

He smacks Ada right upside her head. Leon would be well within his rights to just leave her here, really.

But no, White Knight Mode Activate!

http://i.imgur.com/R2WBQGZ.png

[Ayen]

O0M5D5OA-d4

:stare: :stare: :stare: :stare:

KICK HIS ASS, OLD MANUS!

[Psychotic]

"ada wait :("

[Bubba]

Only just seen this and it is my new favourite thread.

[Sephex]

Leon's flowchart of handling things:

Did something happen?

Yes --> ADA!!!!
No --> ADA!!!!

[Old Manus]

LET'S PLAY RESIDENT EVIL 2: BOSS FIGHTS ON POINTLESS TRAIN PLATFORMS EDITION

http://i.imgur.com/0Z7J1j7.png

http://i.imgur.com/0keJ3EZ.png

You may notice that Birkin's face has now actually moved to his left breast. Brings a whole new meaning to 'heart in your mouth'.


http://i.imgur.com/Qjm4wAw.png

I decided to bring the submachine gun along for this battle, as god knows it's not getting any use anywhere else. It turned out to be a pretty dumb idea. This thing isn't as powerful as I thought.


http://i.imgur.com/FhgVYXT.png

But just as I expend pretty much all the ammunition (and about 3 first aid sprays), he stumbles.

http://i.imgur.com/AbSAaRH.png

And jumps off the edge!

The platform comes to a shuddering halt in the middle of the descent.


http://i.imgur.com/L4lUIJT.png

Leon informs Ada that it is regrettable that she is injured, but for the sake of gameplay she needs to be dropped as a supporting character for the moment and getting impaled by a giant zombie hand is the most convenient way of achieving this.

ADAAAAAAAAA


Time to find a way to get this platform moving. More vent crawling!

http://i.imgur.com/J1sasec.png

http://i.imgur.com/glyh1xG.png

We drop into an unknown part of the factory. But...

http://i.imgur.com/zM9b0dY.png

The platform starts moving again anyway! For smurf's sake, Ada!


http://i.imgur.com/VGgOq4e.png

I guess now we have to try and get down there. We're in some sort of engineering sector of the complex. This place looks like it cost billions to excavate and build.


http://i.imgur.com/RLEgrFV.png

The lickers down here have evolved into extra powerful versions of themselves that can be right bastards when they attack in groups (which they always do). Good job we upgraded the shotgun to deliver maximum pain!


http://i.imgur.com/tZr7yuz.png

http://i.imgur.com/vXpcq42.png

I can't even figure out whether this is just a dodgy translation or this is actually where they melt disobedient workers :grover:


http://i.imgur.com/F00p1A6.png

Got a feeling we'll be going that route soon. Also, note that after all this time plodding around with emblems and plugs, the master key to the secret underground hi tech research complex is just a fugging bog-standard lever lock open-the-shed-door key. :argh:

Down the lift.

http://i.imgur.com/XZvzGYs.png

"What's the problem? You got an issue with what a real woman looks like?"


http://i.imgur.com/emSzC0H.png

Disgusting hambeasts. Welp, looks like we're back down here. My first move was to go into the little office to see if I could kill Sherry, but it appears Claire locked the door. Bummer. Let's go and pick up Ada.


http://i.imgur.com/D7fYhYt.png

Ada? ADA? ADAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

Ah well, further into the complex I suppose.

http://i.imgur.com/hpQTFLT.png

...Oh, for smurf's sake.


http://i.imgur.com/zYJ2qIj.png

Yep, it's this all over again.

http://i.imgur.com/QZ0OMER.png

http://i.imgur.com/IbjfkYS.png

And we finally get to the door Claire partly unlocked in Scenario A! We can't go inside yet though, there's still more fetch-questing to be had.

http://i.imgur.com/ODpR2Ge.png

I just took this screenshot to show off how smurfing awesome the upgraded shotgun is. Limbs everywhere.

http://i.imgur.com/f5do4rI.png

There's also the anti-BOW sprinkler that we ignored in Claire's scenario. I don't know whether my game bugged or anything but I switched it on and it was totally useless. Nothing happened. :argh:

Ah, well. We can still pick up this bad boy in the next room:

http://i.imgur.com/LjrF9Qr.png

A flamethrower! Now, if only there were some highly-flammable organic monsters nearby that I could test this on...


http://i.imgur.com/opkrsRc.png

Excellent. Flame-grilled zombie plant, coming up!

http://i.imgur.com/BV777gd.png

Have it, you numerously-tentacled bastards...! ...Hang on, what...?

http://i.imgur.com/W11smwO.png

That's right, it's absolutely sodding useless. :grover: Back in the item box you go...


http://i.imgur.com/fWysOCy.png

Further into the labs, taking care of a gaggle of lickers as we go.

http://i.imgur.com/DepHuA3.png

It's the giant moth again. It is such an out of place fight. You don't even actually have to fight it, really.

http://i.imgur.com/Ofcnm2a.png

Now we've fiddled with the computer in here, we can finally get into the big locked door from earlier!


http://i.imgur.com/oHrcTmf.png

This place had better be packed with treasures.

http://i.imgur.com/XZs2fKQ.png

Nope, more lickers.

http://i.imgur.com/0imdMs9.png

And a bloke with eerily long legs...

http://i.imgur.com/l6jVTTH.png

ALL THAT IS IN HERE IS A DAMN CLIP FOR THE SUBMACHINE GUN I DON'T EVEN NEED IT ANYMORE I SWEAR TO GOD


http://i.imgur.com/uqbTFTk.png

Let's get some real goodies.

http://i.imgur.com/TRbN5MO.png

Now we have the fixings for the best weapon in the game, outside of the bonus ones. The upgraded magnum turns every enemy into mincemeat.


http://i.imgur.com/d92o8Te.png

And what better way to introduce it!

http://i.imgur.com/2AleHkq.png

We also pick up the key to the power room, which was locked waaaaaay back when we entered the facility. Let's head back.


http://i.imgur.com/vHbf0KJ.png

Annette again!

http://i.imgur.com/E5mY0cS.png

"If you're after my husband's last remaining Pez dispenser, you're never going to get it!"

http://i.imgur.com/ZZwGDWm.png

But suddenly, Mr. X busts in again!

http://i.imgur.com/SAqKRSp.png

Piece of piss.


http://i.imgur.com/4Z4o246.png

http://i.imgur.com/RUi9VdU.png

Oh for God's sake will you just go home?


http://i.imgur.com/qsWOhRk.png

Wait. Despite having just filled him full of lead moments earlier with no hesitation, Leon is now backing away slowly, cowering in fear.

http://i.imgur.com/b7EiR2e.png

"Help! I need a plot device to get me out of this cutscene!"


http://i.imgur.com/Gvy2g2K.png

ADA! AAAAAAAAAA

http://i.imgur.com/fH9AyHO.png

"Stand back Leon, while I very slowly fire bullets from my pea shooter while standing perfectly still!"

http://i.imgur.com/uqYhEjR.png

http://i.imgur.com/ETU1oUz.png

http://i.imgur.com/LNTNI.gif

http://i.imgur.com/In5pTZz.png

"No not the face! That's the money!"


http://i.imgur.com/NSbKya5.png

http://i.imgur.com/zBAYCZP.png

For the first time in the game, Mr. X shows any sort of bleeding.


http://i.imgur.com/CfgGrNg.png

http://i.imgur.com/TJBuHmc.png

http://i.imgur.com/lCcdSSW.png

Smoked. Is anyone keeping track of the falling-over-the-railings count?

[Ayen]

CHOKESLAM! CHOKESLAM ALL THE WAY FROM HELL MY GAWD!

And I lost track of how many people fell over the railing a while back.

[Sephex]

http://rockpaperwatch.files.wordpress.com/2013/12/terminator-thumbs-up-as-he-melts.gif

[sharkythesharkdogg]

Thanks for the laughs. This has been a good read.

[Old Manus]

Just in time for the ending, sharky.

So Mr. X just threw himself into a huge bowl of molten metal. While you stop and try and think of a reason why there is a giant smelting pit in an underground laboratory, let's get on with the game...

http://i.imgur.com/qI4VskR.png

Leon goes to help his selfless saviour. Are they going to have a moment?

http://i.imgur.com/EZwq7PI.png

They've known each other literally for a few hours and have only had about two or three stilted, wooden conversations but they're already in love! God bless America.


http://i.imgur.com/9uyDMvK.png

Oh yeah then she dies.

Time to get the hell out of dodge, chief. Leon leaves her corpse there to melt. :grover:

MEANWHILE IN AN UNKNOWN LOCATION

http://i.imgur.com/M0V9MCo.png

Oh, trout.


http://i.imgur.com/pqOyMCe.png

A call from Claire. She tells us to pick up Sherry in the locked office. You've got to be kidding. We've only seen this girl briefly for about 5 seconds earlier in the game and Claire's trying to offload her trout onto us?


http://i.imgur.com/v8ONPyG.png

Don't ask me where I got the key from, because I don't remember.

http://i.imgur.com/K26rgiD.png

Goddamn it she's still alive!

Now that the master key has formulated itself into Leon's pocket, let's use the emergency function in the emergency lift.

http://i.imgur.com/Lvd4GtO.png

http://i.imgur.com/u5Ahp5C.png

To the train and our ticket out of here.

http://i.imgur.com/fxcRxfZ.png

No power supply in the emergency evacuation train? Great job, Umbrella! :wacky: I suppose we'll go and turn it on then.

http://i.imgur.com/4ie51jO.png

A detonation countdown! This is it!


http://i.imgur.com/hPMclwU.png

Just insert a few plugs here...

http://i.imgur.com/UfwMbDm.png

This can't be good.


http://i.imgur.com/JZujyuo.png

http://i.imgur.com/prBGVn6.png

http://i.imgur.com/qMgRuSe.png

"How did you know that the secret to me gaining my full power is a bath in molten lead!?"

Mr. X 2.0 decides to throw his previous tactics of calmly plodding around throwing punches out the window, and instead whizzes around the area, bashing the trout out of you. He takes a fair amount of hits with the upgraded magnum and is actually pretty hard. As such, I didn't get around to any screenshots until this point:

http://i.imgur.com/Dnz35my.png

A mysterious voice that is definitely not Ada calls for Leon!

http://i.imgur.com/FDwERWR.png

ROWCKET LAWNCHAIR

Getting into a position to fire the damn thing is the hardest part here.

http://i.imgur.com/ImQpxZw.png

Hasta la vista?


http://i.imgur.com/GnLQwvz.png

http://i.imgur.com/P3wXpu2.png

http://i.imgur.com/ZFUo32u.png

It's funny because the moment I took the screenshot, the screen flickered and his explosion disappeared, leaving only the prerendered background :monster:

Anyway, now that the train is powered, can we finally get moving?

http://i.imgur.com/HljTbyf.png

http://i.imgur.com/Zm3KMC6.png

Let's go! Picking up Claire on the way!

http://i.imgur.com/yOunWv2.png

Unfortunately no, she isn't standing in the middle of the track in this picture.


http://i.imgur.com/FUS6lwW.png

It's the same FMV that Claire had! Capcom you bastards! :argh:


[SCENE SKIP]


http://i.imgur.com/Txj1CC4.png

"Hang on, we're 3D rendered again. Does this mean...?"

http://i.imgur.com/L0xMx4a.png

"SURPRISE MOTHERsmurfERS"
(Is what he would say if he actually had a mouth at this point)

http://i.imgur.com/b1Wx67h.png

http://i.imgur.com/pNqR0nI.png

http://i.imgur.com/iZN9UHR.png

After Mr. X, this fight is a piece of cake. To defeat William Birkin, shoot at it until it dies.


http://i.imgur.com/WKCWMXQ.png

http://i.imgur.com/MY7hUEo.png

http://i.imgur.com/d4DYaFe.png

WWE's Rikishi, rest in peace.


ENDING FMV TIME


http://i.imgur.com/avMYwms.png

http://i.imgur.com/FkM3xAb.png

Holy trout. :stare:

http://i.imgur.com/HJh4aOr.png

So basically Bill is still alive and Leon has locked himself out of the train carriage. Tension!

http://i.imgur.com/c21Dxpr.png

"Trust me, I saw this in Speed!"

http://i.imgur.com/52FjyUX.png

Sherry decides to finally make herself useful after four hours of gameplay. I refuse to believe someone of even Sherry's size could easily fit through that gap.

http://i.imgur.com/BLaWTkC.png

"Which button to press to stop the train from blowing up!?"

http://i.imgur.com/odbDrWx.png

"WHICH BUTTON TO PRESS?"

http://i.imgur.com/bb41AMz.png

Oh, right, the big red one. :grover:

http://i.imgur.com/Pfxcrmc.png

President Deling morphs into his final form.

http://i.imgur.com/dJdwviF.png

The music reaches a crescendo as the timer hits zero!

http://i.imgur.com/MnrnDPJ.png

Not even Sauron is safe from this smurfing game.

http://i.imgur.com/E40mESk.png

Tell me they're all dead.


http://i.imgur.com/apU4AjD.png

Sake.

And finally...

http://i.imgur.com/48lP7np.png

"Screw this cop trout, I'm off to go work for the president!"

http://i.imgur.com/stHkmvD.png

That's that, ladies and gentlemen. Took slightly longer than it should have, and my pathetic abilities at the game have ensured I have unlocked absolutely nothing for a future playthrough! :zombie:

[Ayen]

Let's Play and Thread of the Year, right here.

[Sephex]

Well done, I have enjoyed this one immensely. RE2 is still my favorite of the series to this day, and I used to play the game obsessively.

[Pete for President]

Well done! That was fun :p

[DK]

excellent work, highlight for me was the metal slug reference in the last post, heard it in my head straight away

[Psychotic]

Top turn. :up: Shame though, would've enjoyed the adventures of Tofu...

[Madonna]

I laughed, I cried, and you, sir, deserve a golden chocobo. Adaaaaaaaaaaaa.

[escobert]

That was amazing.

[Bubba]

So who wins?

[sharkythesharkdogg]

excellent work, highlight for me was the metal slug reference in the last post, heard it in my head straight away

A ha ha. Me too. RAWKIT LAUNCHAIR.

A well done Let's Play. I hope Old Manus does another some time.

[Spooniest]

I believe you've hit the magic number: 3 over the railings.