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View Full Version : What's the Dumbest Weapon in Final Fantasy VIII



Dat Matt
12-16-2014, 06:01 PM
Final Fantasy VIII is known for many things, and it has the strangest pool of character weapons for the main characters out of all the Final Fantasy Games. Which one of these weapons are conventionally the dumbest weapon? Here's my case for each:

Squall (Gunblade) - Gun = Fine, Sword = No problem. Together you have a unbalanced melee weapon with an awkward grip.

Rinoa (Blaster Edge) - Is it a shuriken, is it a boomerang. What happens if it gets lodged in the enemy or doesn't come back to Riona. Girl u'd be ded.

Zell (Gloves) - More traditional weapon, sure. But do you really want to go and punch a t-rex or a dragon in the face?

Quistis (Whip) - Another traditional weapon, but considering the futuristic theme of this game what's the chances you'll come up against a robot or something that the whip doesn't affect?

Selphie (Nunchaku) - They are nunchucks.

Irvine (Shotgun) - Hired sharpshooter hired for sniping. Uses short range weapons.

Laguna (Machine Gun) - Legit usable weapon. Don't vote for this.

Kiros (Katar) - It's kind of like a sword, but not. What does Kiros do if he doesn't need something dead with these equipped. Like to scratch his nose. Can't do it.

Ward (Harpoon) - Throw harpoon, run to get harpoon. Throw Harpoon again. Why? Just Why?

Jinx
12-16-2014, 06:02 PM
good god so many of them, really tough poll

but the gunblade


(this is a good poll, matt))

Vermachtnis
12-16-2014, 07:17 PM
The Harpoon, it's just so very silly.

Shauna
12-16-2014, 08:06 PM
Screw your rules!

Mister Adequate
12-16-2014, 08:27 PM
WRONG

HARPOON IS AWESOME

Dat Matt
12-16-2014, 10:45 PM
Screw your rules!

You should go ban yourself.

Shorty
12-17-2014, 12:10 AM
The gunblade is awesome.

Rinoa's boomerang always seemed a little dopey to me. Quistis' whip is also stupid.

Ayen
12-17-2014, 12:13 AM
As much as I like her I have to go with the Blaster Edges. I can understand almost every single weapon the main character use except that one. Plus it never did that much damage anyway.

Colonel Angus
12-17-2014, 01:25 AM
Screw your rules!

You should go ban yourself.
If only she was on staff.

But really, people. If you aren't picking the harpoon then I don't know what to say about you. HE HAS TO RUN AFTER IT TO RETRIEVE IT! "Excuse me, Mr. Monster, but may I get that harpoon I just lunged @ you?"

Ayen
12-17-2014, 01:28 AM
Screw your rules!

You should go ban yourself.
If only she was on staff.

But really, people. If you aren't picking the harpoon then I don't know what to say about you.

*Jedi mind trick* You want to say "You're a wonderful person" and give me flowers and chocolate candy to show your love.

Mirage
12-17-2014, 01:29 AM
For robots, you clearly just put thunder on the whip.
Irvine using shotguns when he is a sniper is dumb, but the weapons are fine and it makes way more sense to use a shotgun in close combat than a sniper rifle. In his defence, he uses a proper sniper rifle when he's actually being a sniper who breaks down under pressure.

In either case, harpoon is the dumbest weapon, closely followed by the discos thrower.

Mister Adequate
12-17-2014, 01:42 AM
Maybe Irvine is competent with more than one firearm :smug:

e; Irvine's breakdown is dumb, but it's dumb because you probably want to send a hardened, experienced veteran to assassinate the most powerful and dangerous person in the world, not a kid. But this is a world where mercenary outfits take the place of conventional K-12 education.

e2; A properly used whip would be a really dangerous weapon, they're just really hard to use properly. If you're using some space alien magic FF bullshit like Quistis then it makes sense it'd be fairly powerful. This holds true for every weapon except Zell's fists, but Zell is second only to Sabin for sheer goddamn badassery so what the fuck do he care?

Mirage
12-17-2014, 01:46 AM
but shotguns are so incredibly difficult to use!

Spooniest
12-17-2014, 12:36 PM
Blaster Edge gets my vote for dumbery, just because of the sheer physics nightmare its design and operation entail.

I...I can't even begin to describe how many ways Rinoa's weapon is wrong.

Bubba
12-17-2014, 01:35 PM
Throw harpoon, run to get harpoon. Throw Harpoon again. Why? Just Why?

Exactly.

Loony BoB
12-17-2014, 01:50 PM
Technically that harpoon is a pretty impressive weapon. You throw that at someone in real life and you're far more likely to kill them than you would be if you had a number of the other weapons.

I went with Rinoa's weapon because I never quite liked it, but really I find all weapons in FFVIII to be okay once you get past the fact that this is a Final Fantasy game.

noxious.sunshine
12-17-2014, 03:48 PM
All of them are dumb except for the gunblade.

fat_moogle
12-17-2014, 05:52 PM
Selphies Nunchuks. Just because it bugs me how short the chain is but it seems to stretch for miles when you use it to attack an enemy.

Hipster Username
12-17-2014, 09:15 PM
What about Edea and her magical Sorceress blast attack?

Foo
12-22-2014, 10:17 PM
Screw your rules!

You should go ban yourself.
If only she was on staff.

But really, people. If you aren't picking the harpoon then I don't know what to say about you. HE HAS TO RUN AFTER IT TO RETRIEVE IT! "Excuse me, Mr. Monster, but may I get that harpoon I just lunged @ you?"



Unless you're Ward, in which case you'll say:

".. ........ .. ............. .. . ...... ...?"

Rin Heartilly
01-15-2015, 01:08 PM
Weapons don't even matter in the FFVIII universe because all you gotta do is spam summons to win :D

But yeah Wards harpoon is silly and I can imagine someones face getting slashed if they were to try and use Rinoa's blaster edge in real life xD

Lone Wolf Leonhart
01-16-2015, 07:13 AM
I really liked all of these weapons as a point of diversity. We've all played the (great) RPGs where out of the 8 party members you have, 5 of them wield variations of swords. It was refreshing.

Though I'll definitely say the "pinwheel" has the least bang for its buck in terms of sound effects and feeling like you actually do damage. Honestly when I first heard the name I thought it was a variation of this:

62006

Ayen
01-16-2015, 07:16 AM
I can understand the Harpoon as a weapon even if it's stupid he has to run past the enemy to yank it out of the ground. I just never understood what Rinoa's weapon was supposed to be based off its design.

Galuf
01-16-2015, 02:02 PM
what! the excalpur is better than these?:eek:

Scotty_ffgamer
01-16-2015, 02:11 PM
But do you really want to go and punch a t-rex or a dragon in the face?



I very much want to do this.

Also, Rinoa's weapon I guess. I particularly like when she shoots her dog out of the weapon.

JudgeBr
02-15-2015, 03:19 AM
Gunblade is quite dumb choice for battle, I'd say.
uncomfortable grip, will made bad swing and bad aim.
I can see now why there's only 2 gunblade specialist in the world.

Skyblade
02-17-2015, 05:33 PM
I can understand the Harpoon as a weapon even if it's stupid he has to run past the enemy to yank it out of the ground. I just never understood what Rinoa's weapon was supposed to be based off its design.

It's a boomerang. They just added a launcher/gun thingie to it. Similar to the gunblade.

Puft
03-13-2015, 08:45 PM
Tough choice between Rinoa's Blaster Edge or Ward's Harpoon, and I can tell by the voting results, majority of everyone had the same ordeal in mind. I chose Ward's weapon overall because it sure, it looks heavy and like it's ready to deal serious HP, but that whole running to recover it thing is just ridiculous. Not to mention, whenever Laguna followed his attack with his Machine Gun, I could swear Ward gets shot upon recovering it. Haha...I don't know. Somehow I can picture that in worse case scenario for Rinoa, if her weapon should get lodged into a beast, at least she has Angelo to recover it for her, or maybe even use magic until the enemy is dead. :P. I just don't think the Harpoon is a great choice and most of you all agree, according to the votes. :)

Ceiladora
03-15-2015, 09:33 AM
None! They're all fantastic. :)

Lone Wolf Leonhart
03-15-2015, 09:40 AM
In fairness to Ward's harpoon, practicality isn't something I actively seek out in a fantasy setting.