Final Fantasy Plots in 140 characters

[Freya]

SE likes to give announcements (http://home.eyesonff.com/content.php/3576-Type-0-is-coming-to-PC-via-Steam!) via twitter lately. They don't even bother writing a PR announcement anymore.

So let's have some fun with condensing the plots to 140 characters. You can do any entry:

You're a new intern and are tasked with tweeting out the plot of Final Fantasy ____. What is your tweet?


It's harder than it looks.

Here's mine for FFX:


Time Travelling Blonde goes to a future with religious fanatics and a giant monster. He helps save them with a girl who summons monsters!

[Ayen]

Man reunites with childhood friends to fight evil time-traveling sorceress who was living in mom and then his girlfriend.

[Colonel Angus]

Military school children battle their headmaster's estranged wife, all the while waiting for the cafeteria's next hot dog day.

[Pumpkin]

Monkey boy falls in love, learns about himself, saves the world from another world. Princess loses voice, Black Mage faces racism

[Psychotic]

Spiky haired mercenary tries to stop trenchcoated psycho from killing flower girl (fails) and summoning meteor (succeeds) by cross dressing

[Fynn]

Girl finds dead boyfriend’s old video tape, joins her cousin and a goth chick on a treasure hunt, proceeds to stop a big gun from destroying the world. Hilarity ensues.

[Pheesh]

"Please consult Datalog"

[Sephex]

Man fueled by darkness turns to light ends up fighting a Vader-like figure with pals. He eventually goes to the moon to solve his problems.

[Freya]

Sky Pirates and a bunny lady end up finding a princess. Together they have to fight political corruption to remove them from their homeland.

[Loony BoB]

There are over 1,700 non-playable characters, let alone the ever-vital playable ones, in Final Fantasy XIV. I'm not sure if I can detail that plot in 140 characters or less. :(

Okay seriously most of them aren't even important on any level but I'll be damned if I'm going to actually expand on that joke and write out a plot detail mentioning 140 characters.

[Mr. Carnelian]

A Valkyrie sends her sister on a time-travelling adventure to change history and save the world. Most of you will hate it, for some reason.

[Freya]

That's what makes it funnnnn BoB. I just read a wiki summary of XIV's plot. So here's my guess at it

YOU make a character that goes on adventures with friends to fight the Ultima Weapon in an attempt to be the Warrior of Light

[Colonel Angus]

Chocobo riding pimp, Princess & amnesiatic old man meet transgendered pirate & save the world from tree based monster.

[Loony BoB]

That's what makes it funnnnn BoB. I just read a wiki summary of XIV's plot. So here's my guess at it

YOU make a character that goes on adventures with friends to fight the Ultima Weapon in an attempt to be the Warrior of Light
B-b-but that wasn't the joke...

[Freya]

whooosh

[Mirage]

That's what makes it funnnnn BoB. I just read a wiki summary of XIV's plot. So here's my guess at it

YOU make a character that goes on adventures with friends to fight the Ultima Weapon in an attempt to be the Warrior of Light
B-b-but that wasn't the joke...

I thought jokes were supposed to be funny.

[Loony BoB]

All puns are funny I don't know what you're talking about

[Fynn]

Nobody likes puns, Nella.

[metagloria]

Four dudes kill fiends, light orbs, restore world, break time loop, save princess.

[Randy]

Jock travels into the future to kill his father who's become a giant catholic whale of death.

[Mirage]

Well, it's much easier for SE on their japanese twitter anyway. They can get a lot more out of each character than we can!

[Mr. Carnelian]

Jock travels into the future to kill his father who's become a giant catholic whale of death.

This had me in fits of laughter.
Giant Catholic whale of death! Brilliant!
Bravo!

[Fox]

Notorious crossdresser stops giant rock summoned by dead soldier after falling into a river of ghosts