God's Football 2015-2016 season thread

[DK]

Figured we might as well get the transition going now that the windows in full swing and Hornby has done his wrap up post.

[DK]

god smegging damn it your poll character and time limits are ridiculous fix it now Towns you utter ballbag :colbert:

[DK]

pissing poll limits :colbert:

[Bubba]

Is this the official new season thread?

I recommend someone close the old one otherwise I'm guaranteed to revive it around Christmas time and confuse everyone.

[Psychotic]

I want to make the poll multiple choice and vote for all of them.

[DK]

it is indeed, also no I think that should continue. it's a new effoff football thread tradition imho.

also if you're going to vote other in the poll at least tell us your prediction :colbert:

p.s thanks whoever merged threads

[DK]

i did consider doing that but then i think that would be the option most would take. I want to decide what would be the funniest one

[Bubba]

Other - Stevie G makes a triumphant return later in the season and helps Liverpool secure 8th spot by scoring one penalty in eight games and almost getting an assist.

[Psychotic]

I want to vote Big Andy and Other. Other being Leicester City finishing above Swansea City (who will be in a relegation fight) and Garry Monk crying when Claudio Ranieri verbally bitch slaps him.

[The Captain]

Voted Sterling but wanted to add:

Other: LVG sells every striker and goalkeeper and takes on the league using the unheard of 0-11-0 lineup.

In other news, are we doing fantasy again? I keep getting reminder emails that it exists again.


Take care all.

[charliepanayi]

It's the qualifying draw for the 2018 World Cup! Which doesn't start for another 14 months but never mind:

Group A: Netherlands, France, Sweden, Bulgaria, Belarus, Luxembourg

Group B: Portugal, Switzerland, Hungary, Faroe Islands, Latvia, Andorra

Group C: Germany, Czech Republic, NORTHERN IRELAND, Norway, Azerbaijan, San Marino

Group D: WALES, Austria, Serbia, REPUBLIC OF IRELAND, Moldova, Georgia

Group E: Romania, Denmark, Poland, Montenegro, Armenia, Kazakhstan

Group F: ENGLAND, Slovakia, SCOTLAND, Slovenia, Lithuania, Malta

Group G: Spain, Italy, Albania, Israel, FYR Macedonia, Liechtenstein

Group H: Belgium, Bosnia and Herzegovina, Greece, Estonia, Cyprus

Group I: Croatia, Iceland, Ukraine, Turkey, Finland

[Psychotic]

http://ecx.images-amazon.com/images/I/51ffLjm6vUL.jpg

I'm incredibly smurfing offended that a talentless overrated chimp with all the footballing ability of Bubba after he's had a leg sawn off after a rather unpleasant encounter with the clap got on the cover of FIFA next to the colossus that is Liverpool Captain Jordan Henderson. smurfing disgrace.

[Rocket Edge]

Ireland really lucked out with that group! Delighted!


In other news, are we doing fantasy again? I keep getting reminder emails that it exists again.

We are indeed! I won't bother with a separate thread this year as most of you are inactive, but please rejoin if you can! Anyone who's new and wants to join PM me for the league code!

[Old Manus]

this is also temporarily the ashes thread

http://c.files.bbci.co.uk/E722/production/_84607195_bell_root_afp.jpg

http://c.files.bbci.co.uk/166D4/production/_84606819_crowd_afp.jpg

http://c.files.bbci.co.uk/118B4/production/_84606817_johnson_getty2.jpg

Terrific atmosphere at Edgbaston, I can't believe my luck in getting tickets for Days 1 and 2. Super Jimmy Anderson Super Stevie Finn Super Mitchell Johnson

[DK]

haha I was thinking about posting some of that here as well. must have been class to be there!

crippled jimmeh tho :(

[Old Manus]

Arsenal win charity shield - is it time for a return of charliepanayi?

[Psychotic]

Arsenal win charity shield - is it time for a return of charliepanayi?
He already posted in this thread! First Russie and now this. What a year for football it's been. Now all we need are Cz and Heath.

[Old Manus]

What a time to be alive. I'm so psyched that I'm going to do some no doubt ill-fated predictions.


Bournemouth will crash and burn and become the new Cardiff who were the new QPR. Bugger off with your Munto Finance dodgy Russian money. 20th
Sadly, Benteke will bang in at least 20 league goals
United will just about scrape 4th
Leicester will finish mid table to top half. People forget how much Ranieri did for Chelsea. He arrived at a badly run blue Tottenham (based Gianluca Vialli) and left a team ready to win the league
Liverpool to finish the lowest ranked 'Pool' in the league
Garry Monk to be poached by Everton by the end of the season


1. Chelsea
2. Arsenal
3. Man City
4. Man Utd
5. Liverpool
6. Tottenham
7. Southampton
8. Leicester
9. Everton
10. Swansea
11. Stoke
12. Aston Villa
13. Crystal Palace
14. Newcastle
15. West Brom
16. West Ham
17. Watford
18. Sunderland
19. Norwich
20. Bournemouth

[Psychotic]

By a twist of fate, Liverpool get done for match fixing and demoted to League Two, thus being both below Blackpool and Hartlepool. Also why would Everton hire Garry if he's finishedb elow them? I actually quite fancy Everton to struggle.

For my own predictions, I'll say 1. City 2. Chelsea 3. Arsenal 4. United. I will tip Stoke to do well, Aston Villa and Everton to flirt with relegation but ultimately all three promoted sides go down. Aguero top scorer, me to rant about my love of Roberto Firmino every week until he signs for Barcelona in two years time. Dimitri Payet. I don't know. Just Dimitri Payet. Oh, and Aleksandar Mitrovic. Remember that name, he'll get a really funny red card. You watch.

[Old Manus]

Also why would Everton hire Garry if he's finishedb elow them?You tell me!

[Bubba]

1. Arsenal
2. Man Utd
3. Chelsea
4. Man City
5. Tottenham
6. Southampton
7. Swansea
8. Everton
9. Aston Villa
10. West Ham
11. Stoke
12. Liverpool
13. Newcastle
14. Sunderland
15. West Brom
16. Leicester
17. Norwich
18. Crystal Palace
19. Bournemouth
20. Watford

[Loony BoB]

Oh, God, I'm doing one of these.

1. Chelsea
2. Arsenal
3. Man Utd
4. Man City
5. Liverpool
6. Southampton
7. Tottenham
8. Stoke
9. Swansea
10. Everton
11. West Brom
12. Leicester
13. West Ham
14. Newcastle
15. Aston Villa
16. Sunderland
17. Crystal Palace
18. Watford
19. Norwich
20. Bournemouth

Was particularly difficult to pick who stays up and who goes down. But yeah, all of this is based on nothing other than gut feeling. :D

[Psychotic]

With news that Sunderland are about to take Januzaj on loan, can I just say a big hefty LOL at those of you who insisted to me that he was better than Sterling? ...I mean, not that it helps me, mind, given that he's outgrown LFC but damnit that's not the point.

[charliepanayi]

Man Utd's prospective CL qualifier opponents look set to be one of the following: Monaco, Lazio, CSKA Moscow, Club Brugge, Rapid Vienna. Considering our ineptitude against Monaco last year, probably just as well we're not doing this wretched qualifier for once.

[Psychotic]

Oh, and looking at your predictions for Southampton coming 6th/7th, here's mine: Not going to come higher than 10th. Curse of the Europa. Same issue for West Ham too.

[charliepanayi]

Well if you want to turn this into an Ashes thread again for a moment, Australia will be all out by lunch at this rate.

[Psychotic]

I don't even understand cricket but I'm excited by whatever the hell is apparently going on. I have the BBC text commentary up and everything!

[DK]

what sheer and utter hilarity xD 35-7

well to put it in football terms basically imagine liverpool up 15-0 after 10 minutes of an FA cup final against United and you'd be sort of along those lines of what is going on

[Old Manus]

CARNAGE AT TRENT BRIDGE

[DK]

is anyone actually watching it? I'm listening to TMS but from what I can see on the beeb/forums the ball isn't really doing much and australia are just horrifically shit, pls confirm

[Old Manus]

I've got TMS in my ear, I haven't done any work at all since roughly 11:06am.

[Old Manus]

stuart broad 6 for 10 what is happening with the world

couldn't have happened to a worse bloke

[DK]

ahahahhah and again, stuart broad in god mode, crims all over the place.

wonder why the crims love the name mitchell so much, dire name

[DK]

ahhaahahahahahhahahaahah

[DK]

mind you, watch england all out for 32

[DK]

8-15 for broad, better test figures than curtley ambrose, ergo broad > ambrose clearly

[Old Manus]

I've never seen anything like that in all my time watching test cricket

[DK]

only thing remotely close for me is the time Harmison wrecked the Windies at Sabina park in 04 for 7-12, quite different team and conditions but that was also the tour when Lara made the 400*. was a class spell from Harmison that, possibly the best test fast bowling destruction I ever saw as it happened

[The Captain]

It's Prediction Time!

(Mind you, we still have a month left in the transfer window, so teams can still add players and these predictions are subject to change.)

1. Chelsea -Though if Costa goes down for a long time, this could end up being their doom. Still have best starting XI in the league though.

2. Arsenal - Having Cech back there will do a world of good for them. One more striker would really make them a serious threat, though I still like them a lot.

3. Man Utd - Need a healthy Rooney, though their midfield should be a million times better this year. Also, if they lose De Gea, they could suffer.

4. Liverpool - That's right, back in the top 4! Rodgers has to know this is it for him, so he finally just plays his best players in their best positions. If we can maintain upper half of table status through Christmas, second half of the season should be much easier.

5. Man City - Something about this team just seems off slightly. Aguero is a beast as is Silva but Toure doesn't seem as interested as he used to.

6. Spurs - Can Kane do a repeat performance?

7. Southampton - The EPL feeder club somehow does it again and again! Will they even have any players left by the end of the window?

8. Everton - Had a really bad season last year. I think they are much more talented than they showed.

9. Stoke - They always battle and battle and end up somewhere around here.

10. Crystal Palace - Holding on to their best players is key. Think they could surprise a lot of teams.

11. West Ham
12. Swansea
13. West Brom
14. Aston Villa
15. Leicester
16. Newcastle
17. Bournemouth - They survive!
18. Sunderland
19. Norwich
20. Watford.


Top Scorer - Wayne Rooney
Top Scorer not on the Top 4 - Lukaku
FA Cup: Man Utd


Champions League Final: Bayern Munich VS PSG (Some kind of change for once)


Take care all.

[charliepanayi]

Man Utd get Club Brugge in their CL qualifier.

[Bubba]

That's a good draw for us. I know from experience not to assume we'll go through but I'm hoping we'll be too strong for them over two legs.

[charliepanayi]

Arsenal managed to beat a Serie A team in a CL qualifier even when we were losing 8-2 at Old Trafford in between legs, so I imagine Man Utd should be OK.

This is fun (for a few minutes anyway):

http://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/football/my-premier-league-life

[Psychotic]

Current top 6:


Leicester
Crystal Palace
Man Utd
Watford
Aston Villa
Bournemouth

Good to see the smaller clubs doing well :)

[Old Manus]

Jefferson Montero get in my vagina. What a start to the season

[Formalhaut]

Hardly the best start for Arsenal eh?

[charliepanayi]

Well, that will teach people to be optimistic.

[Psychotic]

Philippe Coutinho (http://streamable.com/7k0q) get in my vagina. What a start to the season

[Bubba]

An early warning for us that the mid-table sides are getting stronger; wins for West Ham, Palace & Liverpool.

[Psychotic]

I think I did that joke a lot better. :shobon:

Also I'm thrilled that "12-15 points Petr Cech" was the one who smurfed up. Heard endless lines from the pundits about how great he is and will win Arsenal the league. I guess everyone forgot why he wasn't wanted at Chelsea anymore, he started going downhill a couple of seasons ago.

[DK]

that goal is pure fifa, lovely

[Formalhaut]

An early warning for us that the mid-table sides are getting stronger; wins for West Ham, Palace & Liverpool.

I really do wish for the mid-table teams to be snipping at the heels of the big four. I really want other teams to be competitive and make the league less predictable. It is slightly tiring seeing Man United, Manchester City, Chelsea, Arsenal dominate the top four.

[Bubba]

I think I did that joke a lot better.

I disagree. If mine was posted first everyone would have seen it was far superior.

I guess I paid the price for skipping past your posts like usual.

[Psychotic]

My post wasn't made by a man more racist than England international Jamie Vardy so it wins by default.

[Bubba]

My post wasn't made by a man more racist than England international Jamie Vardy so it wins by default.

Huh?

[Psychotic]

You know what you said :colbert:

[Bubba]

I really don't :shrug:

Is this because I suggested Liverpool would finish 12th and I don't want Philippe Coutinho in my vagina?

[Psychotic]

Alright, let me refresh your memory. Anfield. 15th October 2011. You said some vile and bigoted things to Patrice Evra. Let me guess, the £40,000 fine and eight game ban slipped your mind? What, were you too busy munching on assorted bystanders to attend the hearing you racist cannibal?

[Bubba]

Jeeeez... You bite someone on the shoulder, illegally rob Ghana of a legitimate goal, bite someone on the arm, flip off Fulham fans, bite someone else on the shoulder, racially abuse a legend then refuse to shake his hand, punch a Chile player in the face and you never hear the last of it!

I maintain that the only time I have been truly appalled with myself was when I dived against Stoke in 2013.

[Psychotic]

Well to be fair everyone should flip off Fulham fans. They defaced that Michael Jackson statue after all. The rotters.

[Formalhaut]

There's people who still like this guy? Weird.

[DK]

just ended up on a small spiral through premier league history on auntie beeb and gave me an idea for some fun nostalgia, so let's discuss players you were fond of that never played for your team. just the class random players who have graced the top flight over the years, be they top tier gods or cult heroes.

I always had a soft spot for Nobby Solano when he played, he was great. Faustino Asprilla and his fifa flips as well was a hero. mental Jens Lehmann maybe Arsenals greatest hero and the best thing they have ever done for English football.

Luis Boa Morte was someone I always wanted at City back when he was playing for Fulham, Luis on the left side and Tricky Trev Sinclair was my winger dream team. Proper full on wrecked shit on Fifa 2003 with those two.

[Old Manus]

There's people who still like this guy? Weird. I know. Philippe Coutinho is a tosser.

EDIT: On the subject of players I was fond of who never played for my team, Ferrie Bodde.

[Psychotic]

Dave Benson-Phillips and Lee Trundle. Oh, and Zlatan.

[Old Manus]

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/sport/football/11793779/Ugly-side-of-football-shows-its-face-in-the-US.html

God Bless America. The naffest football scuffle of all time, followed by an utterly hilarious reprise of WHO ARE YA, complete with thick yankee brogue. If they keep this up I may become interested in MLS.

[The Captain]

As a resident New Yorker and American, let me just say... both teams suck.

Bring back the Metrostars name!


Take care all.

[Crop]

Seems like not only are the stars retiring in the US, but the fans are too!

[Bubba]

I thought Georgi Kinkladze was awesome when he played for City. Oh, and Sasa Curcic. What happened to him?

[Old Manus]

No more Eva Carneiro gracing our TV screens during injuries. RIP.

[DK]

http://www.bbc.com/sport/0/football/33880102

this man is now my mission in life. I will find him and I will destroy him, on a cellular level. HE MUST BE PUNISHED

[Psychotic]

...BJ Penn?!

[Loony BoB]

Wow, that escalated quickly.

[DK]

http://e1.365dm.com/14/08/768x432/premier-league-newcastle-manchester-city-sergio-aguero_3192155.jpg?20140817180346
http://i4.manchestereveningnews.co.uk/incoming/article650431.ece/ALTERNATES/s615/C_71_article_1489950_image_list_image_list_item_0_image.jpg
http://sommetsports.co.nz/wp-content/uploads/2013/12/Fernandinho.jpg













































































































http://www.nigeriafootball.com/static/news/1396517230324.jpg

[Psychotic]

Oh don't we all just love the sweet, sweet taste of Jose's tears?

Also I now officially like Swansea because of their newest signing:
Botti Biabi signs a three-year deal with Swansea in a deal that could be worth up to £700,000.Botti Biabi is the greatest name in the Premier League right now and I will not hear otherwise. That combined with the legend that is Jonjo and the treat that is Jefferson Montero who Brendan Rodgers will undoubtedly sign at some point means I am all aboard the Swan train again. Sorry Old Manus.

[Old Manus]

Well that's our undefeated streak over.

[Psychotic]

Stop being so negative or else I'll smack your Botti.

[Aerith's Knight]

Well, besides the lackluster performance of Man. U. and the devastating defeat of Southampton, I wonder one thing.

Shouldn't the Liverpool goal against Bournemoth have been called offside with the new rules? Since a player that was offside kicked at the ball, even if he didn't hit?

[Psychotic]

Yep.

[Aerith's Knight]

Stop praying so hard for Liverpool victories, Psy, you're literally breaking the rules to achieve it.

[Bubba]

"Move your Botti Botti, move your Botti Botti" - Shaggy

[Bubba]

Just heard on good authority that Ed Woodward is on his way to Madrid to finalise the transfer of Benzema... to Arsenal.

[The Captain]

I do enjoy how so many managers say the same thing when one of their targeted players goes elsewhere:

"Eh, we didn't want him anyway."

http://www.espnfc.us/story/2439434/liverpool-didnt-want-memphis-depay-brendan-rodgers

http://www.mirror.co.uk/sport/football/news/manchester-united-press-conference-recap-6290709

Ah, the crazy season continues.


Take care all.

[Old Manus]

I don't know whether I'm in the minority or not when I say I don't and never have given a toss about football transfer news/speculation/sagas. Maybe it's because I follow a club that doesn't get involved in it but I just can't watch Sky Sports News during this time. I really, really don't care about whether Chairman X is planning a 'smash and grab' on Player Y for sum £Z (or maybe £Z+1?). Surely there is actual football to talk about?

[Psychotic]

Old Manus tried to FORCE through a move by SLAPPING a transfer request on Eyes on FF, handing Fool's Gold a BOOST in their attempts to sign the Welsh ACE before the transfer window SLAMS SHUT. Boosts are always handed. Always.

Liverpool and Manchester United are linked with smash and grab raid on Chelsea transfer target and hell let's throw the name of Arsenal in there too just to boost our SEO please click our links.

[Loony BoB]

Ooh, good idea, Psy. New thread coming soon.

EDIT: It is done. (http://home.eyesonff.com/showthread.php/164054-Which-real-life-sports-team-would-your-favourite-characters-play-for?p=3560887#post3560887)

[Old Manus]

There should be a thread on what sports teams would your favourite EoFFers play for, so I can say that BoB would be the next on the England Opening Batsman Conveyor Belt, Psychotic would be a Hodgson-esque journeyman football manager, and DK is Miguel Angel Jiminez.

[Psychotic]

Very well, sir, I shall take your bait and riposte. For me, Clive, you would be Andy Townsend. A cheesy gimp pretending to be from a nation which he is not, boasting all the wit of a set of slightly stained tupperware.

[Old Manus]

Woah. Mate, you can call me a gimp, you can compare me to stained tupperware, you can even question my (unquestionable) nationality...but I draw the line at "cheesy".


...Roy.

[Aerith's Knight]

you can compare me to stained tupperware


Well-preserved leftovers..

..You know, like Liverpool. :bigsmile:

[charliepanayi]

I for one am happy to see that everyone is capable of beating West Ham, except for us.

[Formalhaut]

SO many 1-1 or 0-0 draws today. I think all the goals went toward the West Ham vs. Bournemouth match.

[DK]

not looking forward to today, Everton has been a tough game for us the last few seasons and they always seem to cripple one of our best players.

[Bubba]

I actually think you'll nick a win today. Even if you don't it's another tough fixture out of the way. Really enjoying watching the Chelsea game. It's making me a little sick that we missed out on Pedro though.

Then I realised that Liverpool paid £4M more for Adam Lallana and I immediately felt better.

[Psychotic]

Just think, for another £3m we could've had our very own Fellaini.

[Bubba]

...and another £7M on top of that could have bought the unstoppable footballing juggernaut known as Andy Carroll.

[Psychotic]

Why stop there? Add another £25m and you can get Angel Di Maria and half the number of goals as aforementioned unstoppable footballing juggernaut Carroll got.

[Loony BoB]

And yet for all that money combined, Gerrard still couldn't buy a Premier Legaue title.

Owen, on the other hand, was bought on a free and has one. :D

[Psychotic]

Djimi Traore has a Champions League winners medal and Eric Cantona doesn't trollolol #epicbantz same for Stevie and Mickey O #archbishopofbanterbury

[Old Manus]

Lee Trundle has an LDV Vans Trophy medal, and neither do Stevie G, Mickey O, Eric Banterna or, in fact, Djimi Traore. I'll let you all draw your own conclusions.

[Psychotic]

I don't even know why we are arguing about the medal collections of millionaires when the real issue is that with charliepanayi returning to the thread, today is the first time in two years we have a "Loser Leaves Town" match. As we can never win at the sodding Emirates, I suspect this will be the last time I'll be seeing you all until November. Toodle pip. You'll miss me when I'm gone :colbert: (please :()

[Bubba]

Arsenal to dominate Liverpool over the full 90 minutes and win by at least 3 goals.

So begins Liverpool's slide to the lower half of the table.

[Psychotic]

You post more about Liverpool than you do United. Got a dirty little scouse secret waiting to burst out? A perm under your Fred the Red beanie, so to speak.

[Old Manus]

It's going to be hilarious when Bubba Jr turns out to be a die hard Liverpool fan. I can see the posts on RAWK already.

[Psychotic]

Point at the Emirates? I'll take it, definite improvement on last year. Thought we were the best team first half and should've finished one of the many chances we had. Took a pounding in the second half but the defence held. Finished the game with three teenagers on the pitch, beating Arsenal at their own game.

Four years ago I said Sterling was going to be a world class monster and move for a troutload of money. I'm gonna do the same with Joe Gomez. Handled Sanchez and Ozil like a smurfing boss. Going to be a monster, England captain for the 2026 World Cup, and will sign for some random club I hate for £50m+ in a prolonged transfer saga at the start of the 2018/19 season. You heard it here first.

[Bubba]

All jibes apart, Liverpool were excellent first half. Arsenal picked up over the course of the game but were far from their best.

Can we now confirm that Liverpool have a striker crisis? They've only scored two goals in three games the same as Utd. With only a few days to go until the transfer window closes how are Liverpool going to respond? Oh that's right, they're not... because they're not in crisis. According to the press though Utd will be battling relegation unless they spend BIG.

I can't wait till the transfer window ends... no-one actually talks about football until then

[Psychotic]

2 goal Arsenal are in a striker crisis too but don't worry the papers have been insisting every day for the past 3 months that Benzema will be unveiled tomorrow. I'm sure tomorrow will happen, well, tomorrow. I'm getting tired of this perpetual today loop. If it doesn't happen it's our fault for not buying enough papers or clicking their links enough.

[Bubba]

I can't stand the British press. The British public are worse though for buying papers to read about stories that will never happen. Man Utd will not be buying Neymar, Bale or Muller and any fan with half a brain cell must surely realise this.

My very much looking forward to the season starting on 1st September.

[charliepanayi]

*Media insists Arsenal need a top striker, struggle to name any actually available top strikers*

[Crop]

What...you guys still follow the transfer window? I don't think I have for about 5 years. All I read are match reports on the games I miss.

Once the season finishes in May I'm done until the next season starts.

[Loony BoB]

I follow the transfer window, it's something to do when there's no football to watch. The actual football being back on now, I tend to follow it less at the moment. I do keep up with what United are linked to and since Pedro moved to Chelsea there hasn't been much going on of note. Neymar? Please. If we weren't willing to show enough interest in a £22m Pedro I don't think we'll be spending £240m on Neymar, let alone Bale or Muller.

There are far more realistic options available out there for us. Darmien was someone I never heard linked to us (let alone heard of at all, I don't follow the Italian national team closely) until a few days before it all started really happening, and he's been one of our best performers. Schweinsteiger may be the most marquee name to join us so far, but he's been (sadly, because I love the guy) the most subdued thus far.

[Psychotic]

I have a slight addiction to the transfer window but I know who the journalists Liverpool trust are, and as such they're the ones I trust because they don't publish bollocks. They're the ones who all said Ings, Benteke, Clyne etc. first. We've been linked non stop with Illaramendi all Summer but not one of those journalists has said it's going to happen.

It's just about distinguishing the actual real journalists from the clickbait merchants.

[Psychotic]

Oh, and Aleksandar Mitrovic. Remember that name, he'll get a really funny red card. You watch.Well that didn't take long did it

[Bubba]

Only four games in but City look the real deal this year. Looking forward to Match of the Day. I think I enjoyed the fact that Chelsea lost at home more than Liverpool :lol:

Coutinho is a class act though and very happy he won't be playing in the game against us.

I see a lot of pundits (Merson and Lawrenson amongst others) are predicting a Swans win against us tomorrow. Well, seeing Van Gaal's comments recently, particularly how we dropped six points to them last season, we'll take it seriously but still come away with nothing. It'll be a tough game and I'm confident Swansea will come away with all three points.

[charliepanayi]

Media at the start of August - ooh Pellegrini's under a lot of pressure
Media at the end of August - Man City will cruise the league this year!

[Old Manus]

I see a lot of pundits (Merson and Lawrenson amongst others) are predicting a Swans win against us tomorrow.I don't think you've got much to worry about then

[Bubba]

Hahaha! LOLvren :lol:

[Formalhaut]

It may only be four games in, but I'm still pretty impressed how well Crystal Palace and Leicester are doing. Good win against Chelsea for Crystal Palace today.

[Aerith's Knight]

Every time I watch Swansea play, I expect the hulking big guys they put in the field to start punching people at some point.

[Psychotic]

Hahaha! LOLvren :lol:Sergio ROFLmero, bitch.

[Bubba]

Hahaha! LOLvren :lol:Sergio ROFLmero, bitch.

Touché! :D

[Formalhaut]

There's been so many upsets to the 'big' teams, lately, which is actually making me sit up and pay attention to the league this year. We've had Crystal Palace beating Chelsea, Swansea beating Man United, West Ham beating Arsenal and Liverpool, and Tottenham remaining winless.

I have to say, I'm excited for these mid-ranking teams sucker punching some of the bigger spenders.

[Bubba]

We were comfortable for most of the game but we are extremely easy to play against. As long as teams set up with a solid, disciplined back four and midfield, teams can cope without much bother. They can just wait until we've committed one/both full backs, win the ball, counter and score.

I miss the Utd of old when he had wingers as well as attacking full backs. Plus, we moved the ball so much quicker. We're far too pedestrian. I reckon we might still sneak fourth place but will be lucky to progress past the group stages in Europe.

[Old Manus]

65510

Dat ball from Ayew to Gomis for goal #2

Why was I even playing cricket today?

[Old Manus]

I will correct my previous comment about transfer windows - I enjoy them when they involve Manchester United in meltdown

[charliepanayi]

Good old Man Utd, ensuring Arsenal's inability to buy needed players goes relatively unnoticed.

[Psychotic]

What the fuck even is an Anthony Martial?

Also lol at Madrid and De Gea. This has been going on for months and you had all summer to sort this. If you hadn't been playing silly buggers and bidding £5m or whatever the fuck it was you could've wrapped this up in July.

[Bubba]

Yes, Utd were slow in sending the documents but JESUS CHRIST. Everyone knew Madrid were gonna bid for De Gea so why wait until the last possible second to push it through? Knowing Van Gaal, De Gea will now just rot on the bench/in the reserves until Christmas.

I think it's funny that Van Gaal said "we are not going to panic buy". Then we go and pay £36M for a teenager from the French League who barely reached double figures in goals last year. Apart from some of our earlier buys, it's been an embarrassing end to the window for us.

[Psychotic]

Ugh Nathan Dyer.

[Formalhaut]

Yes, Utd were slow in sending the documents but JESUS CHRIST. Everyone knew Madrid were gonna bid for De Gea so why wait until the last possible second to push it through? Knowing Van Gaal, De Gea will now just rot on the bench/in the reserves until Christmas.

I think it's funny that Van Gaal said "we are not going to panic buy". Then we go and pay £36M for a teenager from the French League who barely reached double figures in goals last year. Apart from some of our earlier buys, it's been an embarrassing end to the window for us.

I usually loathe the transfer window, but this calamity in administration has me laughing at both sides.

[Old Manus]

Ugh Nathan Dyer.I was ambivalent until reading this post, now it pleases me greatly.

[The Captain]

So, in this world of instant everything, millions of dollars and player's careers are still at the mercy of the fax machine? Crazy.


Frankly, I'm stunned that neither Man Utd or Arsenal added a proven striker. I think I need to seriously amend my predictions. With even Chelsea looking weaker, this might be a cake walk season for City if they can bring all their new players in to the fold together.

Take care all.

[Bubba]

Even without the additions of Dubloon and Octomendme, City would have walked the league. Come April it will be an intriguing battle for fourth with Chelsea and Arsenal having secured second and third spot respectively.

[Psychotic]

Ugh Nathan Dyer.I was ambivalent until reading this post, now it pleases me greatly.
I only said it to upset you and now you don't even get upset. What is the point in living :colbert:

Still, if I might draw our last comparison to draw to a close this most amusing saga of the football thread:

Sterling, moves to Man City for £49m, Dyer, loaned to Leicester. Terrific. Even though I'm insulting my two beloved clubs so it's a Pyrrhic victory.

[charliepanayi]

Oh look Welbeck's out for months now, hopefully we can rely on Own Goal to keep getting goals for us though!

[Old Manus]

That's no way to talk about Olivier Giroud.

[Aerith's Knight]

Welp, that was a one way butchering of Chelsea. I guess Man. City will be the new top dog. And let's be honest, they deserve it this year.

[charliepanayi]

England first team to qualify for Euro 2016! Rooney equals Bobby Charlton's record! Nobody cares!
Wales, Iceland and Northern Ireland all on brink of qualification!
Scotland mess things up as usual!
Holland struggling to even make a playoff!
Albania guaranteed at least a playoff spot!

[Bubba]

It was a tough game for England... and by tough I mean not at all tough. I mean it was easy. It would be like using the real life version of Knights of the Round on a malnourished tramp in Piccadilly.

[Aerith's Knight]

Bad analogy, Knights of the Round is always justified...

...because it's badass. :cool:

[DK]

:-)

[Formalhaut]

And Chelsea's horrible season continues...

[DK]

:aimsad:

[Bubba]

Benteke shinned it.

What at a start from Martial! Be interesting to see how he does against a decent team.

And...

65541

65542

65543

[Psychotic]

What the fuck even is an Anthony Martial?

[charliepanayi]

Martin Tyler got rather overexcited with that Martial goal.

Chelsea shouldn't worry unduly, they have the perfect fixture next weekend to bounce back.

[Mahad]

I'm wondering if Liverpool will manage to accomplish anything important this season. First half with United was terrible from both sides imo, but really I felt nothing from Liverpool, and not just this game. May be they'll mop the floor with chelsea or city, by some miracle. I mean, a guy can dream, right?

[Psychotic]

I don't think we'll achieve anything with Rodgers in charge. Enough is enough. Look, I'm not expecting us to win the league, I'm not even expecting us to be guaranteed of a top four place. I do not expect 3 points at Old Trafford, but I do expect that when we play our fiercest rivals we actually look like we give a trout and have some sort of plan. I also do not expect the manager to say he is happy - happy after being munched by our fiercest rivals, don't forget - because we only lost 3-1 instead of 3-0 like last year. I do not expect to thump West Ham 10-0, but I do expect we will not be absolutely bossed at home by a side that hadn't won there in 50 years and just got twatted at home themselves by Leicester and Bournemouth. I think fans of any other club would have the same expectations, I don't think I'm being unreasonable.

This season we've been utter toss. We've had one good half of football - against Arsenal - and that's it. We only managed to blag Bournemouth by an offside goal and Stoke by a wonder goal, both against the run of play and both teams were better than us. It's been going on long enough. We've spunked over quarter of a billion pounds since Rodgers came and you can only call Sturridge and Coutinho unqualified successes.

Jurgen Klopp, for whatever reason, quite fancies us (Whoever could he mean when he says there are "The Premier League is very exciting. And by that we mean not only the top four, there are still other great clubs."?) Stop flirting with us you big tease. Quick, do it before Abramovich gives Jose the second heave ho.

[Formalhaut]

I agree: Rogers really needs to improve or he will become let another manager on the Premier League cutting room floor.

[Old Manus]

I said from the beginning that Rodgers was junk when it came to transfers. At Swansea he got hold of Scott "I deserve to play at a bigger club like Man City >mfw 13 apps in 3 years" Sinclair, but apart from that all the money was spent on Leroy Lita, Luke Moore, Stephen Dobbie and the red hot Danny Graham. All of them were utter guff. I also stand by my opinion that Liverpool were as wank as they'd been in 20 years before he arrived, and even post-Suarez they're still not at those depths. His tenure has been on balance a positive one for Liverpool.

[Night Fury]

Oh, and Aleksandar Mitrovic. Remember that name, he'll get a really funny red card. You watch.Well that didn't take long did it

Haha I was wondering why he was such a popular pick for the adult gompers football t shirts! Now I know!

[Psychotic]

This is our destiny you guys. http://home.eyesonff.com/showthread.php/164280-Football-(Soccer)-adivice?p=3563966#post3563966

[Old Manus]

mickey mouse cup

[FFNut]

As the newest Hardcore Tottenham fan I am going to say GO SPURS! We won the other day!

[Bubba]

As the newest Hardcore Tottenham fan I am going to say GO SPURS! We won the other day!

Tough game for you guys tonight. Not sure how much you've learned about Spurs but Arsenal are your bitter rivals. Be a good game to tune in to if you're able!

Ipswich at home for us. I never know what to expect when we play in the league cup so we'll just wait and see!

[Old Manus]

Arsenal are your bitter rivals.I'm having flashbacks of Professor Oak introducing me to Gary.

[Psychotic]

Ah, Old Manus, wrong yet again. Gary had been your rival all your life, lived next door to you and you had met him long before the confrontation at his grandfather's laboratory. Do you ever get tired of getting absolutely pwned in this thread? :smug:



look my football team is not only shit but incredibly boring while they're at it i don't have anything else left in my life okay

[Old Manus]

using pwned in 2015

[Psychotic]

I'm a Liverpool fan, we live in the past.

[Bubba]

I keep seeing the word "pwned" and I had no idea it was a thing. I just assumed someone was trying to type 'owned' and accidentally hit the adjacent 'P' instead.

[Psychotic]

BARCELONA ARE THREE NIL DOWN AND IAGO ASPAS HAS SCORED TWO GOALS

[Old Manus]

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v491/oldmanus/b875491f.jpg~original

[charliepanayi]

Well at least Arsenal are good at beating the likes of Spurs and Chelsea in games that don't actually matter.

[Psychotic]

Well at least Liverpool are good at managing to cling on against lower league opposition until penalties and then squeak past them from there.

[Crop]

Oh god...the moment of glory for my beloved Carlisle, snatched away with some botched penelties from both sides. So close. I suppose calling it a point against a premier league side sounds better when we go home and brag to the other league 2 teams.

[Bubba]

Yeah, 1-1 to Carlisle is poor but you're still through. Nice home draw against Bournemouth too.

Really glad to see Pereira score for us tonight. He looked a real threat and it was a very decent free-kick. Martial has now scored four goals with four shots. Yeah, it was only Ipswich but glad he's kept his run going.

Also, did Flamini really score two goals tonight?

[Formalhaut]

What are your guys thoughts on the Carneiro/Chelsea situation? The doctor is now going to claim legal action over (what I think to be) rather horrible treatment by Jose, who to be honest is starting to wear thin on me.

[charliepanayi]

I think she's been treated very shabbily (especially by the press who published idiotic kiss and tell stories from an ex-partner of hers - women has relationship shock!) - hopefully she can keep winding up Mourinho for a while.

[Psychotic]

What are your guys thoughts on the Carneiro/Chelsea situation? Mourinho will welcome it because it's one more distraction from the fact that Chelsea have been utter dog cock this season.

[Loony BoB]

I think that the press will be all over it because they love the doctor for her "omg, pretty female on the pitch" aspects far more than they actually care about what has actually happened - as evidenced by the fact that the other person who got the same likely unfair dismissal has been left as a sidenote.

I don't know about claims of sexism, it's impossible for me to say who is being honest on that area (it was raised by a member of the public and I understand it's unlikely to get anywhere). I genuinely just feel it's something that neither the press nor the fans likely have any real clue about. They just like the drama.

The only thing I will say is that the doctor/physio should absolutely be able to make the final decision over whether or not a player is treated and how that player is treated. It should never matter how many other players are on the pitch. It's a medical/health decision and not one that a manager should ever interfere with, or punish the health professionals for making.

[Old Manus]

I imagine Chelsea's solicitors have good experience in workplace discrimination cases.

[DK]

Due to recent EoFF football community changes I am forced to lay the blame for this entirely on FFNut, therefore I feel I must inform you that you are a terrible man and that you will pay for this dearly. :colbert:

[charliepanayi]

Not sure whether to be more annoyed that Newcastle let that lead slip or that they still did much better than we always do against Chelsea.

[Old Manus]

65612

[Bubba]

That header by Gestede is one of my all time favourite goals. Just love the way he came from nowhere and powered it home. Also, Liverpool's new signing Stubbage looks half-decent. Like a poor man's Martial.

I am going to revel in our short stay at the top of the league. This will be the ONLY time we'll be top all season. You mark my words.

City still to win the league. De Bruyne is class.

[Psychotic]

There's nothing quite like a bullet header, is there? I wish diving headers were more of a thing too.

United to win the league. WHATTUP BUBBA WHATCHOOGONNADOO

Bournemouth have some sort of weird gypsy curse going on.

[Formalhaut]

Bournemouth have some sort of weird gypsy curse going on.

How so?

[Psychotic]

They broke their transfer record twice this Summer and then both players subsequently got severe knee injuries and were out for the season. Then yesterday their best player so far Callum Wilson just suffered a nasty knee injury which has probably ruled him out for the season too.

[Bubba]

United to win the league. WHATTUP BUBBA WHATCHOOGONNADOO.

Tell you that you're wrong when we pick up one point out of the next nine.

I'd really like to get a result at Goodison Park though. I'm sick of getting turned over at that place.

[Psychotic]

Well, we finally managed to beat Villa under Brendan so anything is possible.

[Formalhaut]

They broke their transfer record twice this Summer and then both players subsequently got severe knee injuries and were out for the season. Then yesterday their best player so far Callum Wilson just suffered a nasty knee injury which has probably ruled him out for the season too.

Yikes. Sounds like a gypsy curse to me. What awful luck!

[charliepanayi]

United to win the league. WHATTUP BUBBA WHATCHOOGONNADOO.

Tell you that you're wrong when we pick up one point out of the next nine.


You do realise you're playing us next weekend? That's three points right there.

EDIT: Oh yeah, I'm full of confidence for Sunday now.

[Bubba]

Everyone panicking that English teams are struggling after five defeats in six for the EPL in the Champions League. Just leave it with us up in Manchester. We'll secure that fourth CL slot for merry old England.

Saying that, we were both bloody lucky. Wolfsberg were excellent and deserved at least a draw. No idea how City played but by all accounts they weren't convincing. Sterling apparently went missing.

Rumours that he was treading the boards at Manchester's premium drag queen venue The Birdcage can neither be confirmed or denied.

65645

[Psychotic]

On one of my other Fantasy Football teams I played my triple captain bonus score card on Aguero this week and I am now jizzing all over the walls.

[DK]

hands down the greatest and most handsome man active in world sport. why the smeg did manuel take him off? :colbert: :doublecolbert: http://img.photobucket.com/albums/1003/sickhappy/stevebert.gif

[Old Manus]

On one of my other Fantasy Football teams I played my triple captain bonus score card on Aguero this week


On one of my other Fantasy Football teamsBiggest bluff of all time :colbert:

[Psychotic]

Changed the team name as proof. :flirt:

My work colleagues will undoubtedly ask who James Hornby is. "He's a grumpy Welsh fella who says mean things about me on the internet" I'll say. "He's my bitch now" I'll add, grinning. And then they'll give me one of those looks they always give me and slowly leave the room. Ahhh, office hijinks~

[Psychotic]

So with two assists and a goal for Pelle I think there's a serious risk of me being the global team of the week. I'm at 103 points now. As awesome as mocking Old Manus is, help me come up with a stupid random team name to blag the world with. DAVID JAMES NUDE is my present thinking but yes. Help.

...of course, Sanchez, Mata and Lamela will all get sent off tomorrow and smurf it up.

[Crop]

Wow at the triple captain bonus at the perfect time, sometimes the stars align. What's the usual point tally to get a 'best of the week'? Not much of a fantasy player myself so I wouldn't know.

As for the name, this could be your chance to send the footballing world a message that you've been dying to tell them for years. What does everyone just HAVE to know?

[Bubba]

Mourinho facing his first ever sacking. I'm a bit sick of the smug twat now so it would be nice to see him brought down a peg or two. Dunno who you would bring in though. Klopp?

[DK]

So with two assists and a goal for Pelle I think there's a serious risk of me being the global team of the week. I'm at 103 points now. As awesome as mocking Old Manus is, help me come up with a stupid random team name to blag the world with. DAVID JAMES NUDE is my present thinking but yes. Help.

...of course, Sanchez, Mata and Lamela will all get sent off tomorrow and smurf it up.

have to include gerry francis somehow, he is the ultimate mindfuck football figure

[Psychotic]

I'm on 120 points, the highest dude at the moment is on 143 but I have three players left to play. If Sanchez, Mata and Lamela get a couple of goals between them, maybe chuck in an assist or two, and we're on.

[Psychotic]

SANCHEZ! IT'S LOOKING TASTY! never thought I'd be happy for an Arsenal goal! hopefully this spurs on Mata and he scores two now.

oh and liverpool are trout #rodgersout etc.

[Aerith's Knight]

Wow.. just wow.

Well, just waiting for De Gea to switch out now.

[DK]

if sanchez gets a hat-trick will that do it?

[Psychotic]

Yes. And I still have Lamela too, hopefully he smurfs Swansea up. I'm on 133 right now, assuming Lamela, Mata and Sanchez get 90 minutes that's +3 and Sanchez gets MotM that's another +3. Top guy has 143 right now, 4 short. A goal from any of them will do it.

[DK]

http://www.qpr.co.uk/cms_images/gerry-francis-64064-517903_478x359.jpg

[DK]

looks like someones drawn a face on the top half of an egg and stuck a shit mullet on it

[Psychotic]

I changed my manager name to that very classic (gerry francis eating museli from your wife) which again will utterly blag people at work but fuck it.

[DK]

post a message in the forum that just says

[DK]

hi im linvoy primus

[DK]

apparently linvoy primus is now a born again christian who does speaking engagements. I'm not sure why but I find it hilarious that all the posters for his events somehow also involve food:

http://www.ccwinch.org.uk/uploads/1/7/8/3/17834533/7013649.jpg?701
http://www.farnboroughfc.co.uk/assets/Linvoy-Primus2-800x1124.jpg
https://cdn.evbuc.com/eventlogos/47033055/linvoypostersmall.jpg
http://www.arbury.org.uk/_/rsrc/1434549897702/posts/5-a-sideandlivoyprimus/Linvoy.jpg?height=400&width=282

and my personal favourite:

http://www.kcionline.org/news/images/linvoy%20primus001.jpg

What the living trout is a Men's Breakfast? Gives me a mental image of a bunch of elderly white men in tweed jackets with ashen handlebar mustaches and pocket watches sitting around a table eating pheasant sausages, drinking earl grey, and shooting withering glances at the dreadlocked black man trying to tell them about how the baby Jesus saved him from his post football depression.

[Aerith's Knight]

It looks like Man. U's players want to headbutt the referee.

Waiting for the moment when referees carry around 2 cans: 1 paint and the other confetti to calm down the agitated players. : )

[Psychotic]

Came in here to post "LAMELA YOU smurfED IT ALL UP, YOU CHOOSE NOW TO GO BACK TO BEING trout? :argh:" but instead came away with a profound sense of Primus related peace.

[Psychotic]

There will be no hat-trick for Alexis Sanchez today as he goes off to a standing ovation with what looks like a possible groin injury. Kieran Gibbs comes on for a 10-minute run around.

Meanwhile, Louis van Gaal also makes a changes, putting all his hopes of a miracle comeback in a James Wilson-shaped basket. The striker comes on for his first appearance of the season, replacing Juan Mata.

http://www.metalgearinformer.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/11/MGS3-Snake-Salutes-The-Boss-Grave.jpg

[DK]

it was fun to dream.

also man I love the football thread so much. if you have the correct posts per page setting (30), just scroll down this page from the top but imagine viewing it through the eyes of a non football thread regular. they would be so utterly blagged.

you guys give me the tingles. :heart:

[Psychotic]

this also happened today btw

http://i.imgur.com/5FaH3Ti.jpg

http://i.imgur.com/PWN4pln.jpg

[charliepanayi]

And that's Rogers sacked. Seems a bit harsh.

[Psychotic]

He was an outstanding technician who brought great character to the group.

We'll always have 2013/14, Brendan.

http://www.metalgearinformer.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/11/MGS3-Snake-Salutes-The-Boss-Grave.jpg

Now Old Manus please join me in a prayer: Not Garry Monk, please not Garry Monk, please not Garry Monk...

I hope and dream for Klopp, Ancelotti or, dare I even say it, Jose M? I would be okay with De Boer and I have a hunch it's going to be him.

[charliepanayi]

What about Dick Advocaat? He'll be available soon.

I wonder how long it will be before Koeman gets tempted away from Southampton.

[Psychotic]

Dick wouldn't last five minutes. I really felt sorry for the poor old boy, he actually cried when Sunderland scored their first. I want to give him a hug.

My favourite Brendan Rodgers moment - the 2013/14 season in gif form: http://www.gfycat.com/VariableFrankJavalina

[Psychotic]

Thierry Henry xD https://vine.co/v/e2OFtXVuh2V

oh god i'm crying https://twitter.com/BBCSporf/status/650726927540584448?s=07

[Old Manus]

This news disappoints me in that I have lost one of my main avenues for mocking Liverpool. I trust they will now reappoint Kenny Dalglish so we can all continue as normal.

[Psychotic]

This news disappoints me in that I have lost one of my main avenues for mocking Liverpool. I trust they will now reappoint Kenny Dalglish so we can all continue as normal.
mocking Liverpoolis a swansea fan

is welsh
Kenny Dalglishhas won more trophies as both a player and a manager separately than swansea city ever likely will

is not welsh

sorry bud might want to stick to mocking wrexham or clyfydhyfyd or something

[Crop]

Terrible result in terms of score and performance. Those first 20 minutes are the worst I've seen since I started watching Utd on a regular basis...but that Henry reaction to Rogers being sacked made up for it all!

What was your final FF score, Psy?

[Psychotic]

139. Also you guys should thank us for taking all the media attention away from that result against Arsenal!

[Crop]

I am legitimately thankful for it. It won't be remembered as "The Day Arsenal Creamed Man Utd", but "The Day Henry Touched Carragher's leg".

[Rocket Edge]

Those first 20 minutes were absolutely flawless from Arsenal. I'm obviously disappointed but holy trout. Every pass, touch, shot was a 10/10. Fair play to them. charliepanayi, I'm right here homie.

Big Sam to save Liverpool!

[Bubba]

Those first 20 minutes are the worst I've seen since I started watching Utd on a regular basis.

I honestly think that is doing Arsenal a disservice. Yes, we were bad. Schweinsteiger was playing as a striker for some reason and we weren't fantastically organised but... that is as good a 20 minutes I have seen a PL team play. They just blew us away. If I was a neutral watching that I would be standing applauding.


He was an outstanding technician who brought great character to the group

65664

[charliepanayi]

I think I was kind of like this yesterday during the first half.


65665


Rather baffled how we can be so bad in one game and so much better in another on a repeated basis.

[Old Manus]

has won more trophies as both a player and a manager separately than swansea city ever likely will
>implying the Welsh Cup isn't a real trophy

[Crop]

Those first 20 minutes are the worst I've seen since I started watching Utd on a regular basis.

I honestly think that is doing Arsenal a disservice. Yes, we were bad. Schweinsteiger was playing as a striker for some reason and we weren't fantastically organised but... that is as good a 20 minutes I have seen a PL team play. They just blew us away. If I was a neutral watching that I would be standing applauding.


I probably worded it badly, I didn't mean due to our performance (although that was bad) but because I've never seen my team get dismantled like that.

That was the best 20 minutes I've seen from Arsenal that I can think of. They were solid for the rest of the game too. Even when it looked like we came back in the game a bit in the second half, it just felt like it was on their terms.

[DK]

paul

paul

it rises from the darkness. it hungers. it comes.

[DK]

http://i.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2008/05/05/article-0-026756FE0000044D-28_306x423.jpg

[Psychotic]

NO IT BLOODY DOESN'T

[The Captain]

"klopp"

What was that?

"Klopp"

Do you hear something?

"KLOPP"

Could it be?

"KLOPPPPPPP"

A German Giant may just be arriving to dunk on the competition!

http://www.joe.co.uk/sport/watch-jurgen-klopp-slam-dunk-a-mini-basketball-net-as-he-fools-around-in-the-garden/18429

(Not sure it's him, of course)


Get it done. Now.

[Psychotic]

I have looked into this Jurgen Klopp fellow and the one thing I have deduced is that he is completely and utterly battrout insane. He is completely loop-de-loop, round-the-bend completely stark raving bonkers. If we convince him to join I don't know if it will guarantee success, trophies and that elusive title, but I can confidently say it's going to be fun.

[Old Manus]

FIFA getting purged loving every moment

[charliepanayi]

Pfft, nothing much will change in the long run I bet. It's like expecting politics to ever get less dodgy.

[Loony BoB]

Anything will be better than what there is now, let's face it. So it will get better even if they have the tiniest amount of increased transparency.

[Psychotic]

It is absolutely delicious. I didn't think it would get better than that prick Jack Warner getting nailed but old Blatter himself? Magnificent.

[Formalhaut]

When I hear 'Klopp' I keep wanting to attach a 'Klip' and make it sound like a horse.


apparently linvoy primus is now a born again christian who does speaking engagements. I'm not sure why but I find it hilarious that all the posters for his events somehow also involve food:

http://www.ccwinch.org.uk/uploads/1/7/8/3/17834533/7013649.jpg?701





Oh gosh I actually attended that event. It was... okay? Fairly standard 'born again' affair. Seemed like a nice enough guy. The curry was great.

[Psychotic]

WHAT?!

Tell us about Linvoy.

[charliepanayi]

I hope Prince Ali gets to be the next FIFA President anyway, he has that great theme song and all


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aEryAoLfnAA

[DK]

WHAT?!

Tell us about Linvoy.

oh my god yes tell us!! did you touch his dreadlocks? I am envious.

also I've just thought that we have every variation of Daniel in this thread, Dan, Danny and Daniel, and we all support Manchester teams. Going to go ahead and assume that Donal is an Irish version also just because it suits my realization. Propose we rename The good Captain 'Paulo' to fit in with this theme.

[charliepanayi]

Euro 2016 update (what do you mean, who cares)! The following teams have qualified so far:

Austria
Czech Republic
England
France
Iceland
Northern Ireland
Portugal

With Wales almost certain to qualify, Scotland will be the only home nation not there. Doh!

[Old Manus]

Klopp confirmed

Hopefully he can replicate at Liverpool his triumph of bringing Borussia Dortmund to the dizzy heights of 7th place

[Psychotic]

That'll be fine. Next year will be Our Year™

[Loony BoB]

Donal is an Irish version
Can confirm, he's told me as much.

[Rocket Edge]

Donal is an Irish version
Can confirm, he's told me as much.
:lol: Scary fate. The EoFF meet-up will for everyone will be a head scratcher.

Fantastic appointment by Liverpool, has to be said. Especially considering he can mentor potential footballing greats as Divock Origi & Joe Allen.

Ireland beating the world champions last night. Was hoarse this morning from Long's strike. Holy god.

[Psychotic]

Fantastic appointment by Liverpool, has to be said. Especially considering he can mentor potential footballing greats as Divock Origi & Joe Allen.Well I mean don't get me wrong Joe Allen has a wonderful beard but he's never going to be more than a 7/10 player at best!

Anyway, obviously I am thrilled to have Klopp on board, that's a real coup for a club in our position. As we've seen on transfers over the years there are at least 10 clubs (if not more) with more pull than Liverpool in Europe and to have secured one of the most sought after managers in football is fantastic.

I'm not expecting us to suddenly storm to title after title though, but some progress towards being a Champions League club again in the next couple of years would be great. More importantly, it's just going to be fun. It's like swapping a Prius for a monster truck - neither is going to win you the race but you're going to have a hell of a lot more fun in the monster truck.

Since 2015 we've been bad. Yes, hur hur, Liverpool have been bad for 20 years #epicbantz. I mean, just, dire. Awful. No spark, no cohesion, nothing. 21 points from 18 games is relegation form. Then to top it all off, the manager will smugly insist we were outstanding and the players have shown great character. No, Brendan, I've just watched 90 minutes of utter sludge. I know we weren't outstanding, and our players look like they're either scared of their own shadows or simply can't be arsed. I don't think we'll be able to say that about a Klopp managed Liverpool team somehow. At the very least he'll knock the god awful 3-5-2 dirge on the head.

Really I just want to enjoy watching my team play again rather than having it on in the background while I do the ironing.

[Old Manus]

In all honesty I'm looking forward to seeing him at Liverpool. Partly because characters like that only improve ~*~the best league in the world~*~, and partly because if he fails, watching the Liverpudlians implode and/or burst into flames after the absolutely (http://www.liverpoolecho.co.uk/sport/football/football-news/jurgen-klopp-new-liverpool-manager-10222544) incredible (http://www.liverpoolecho.co.uk/sport/football/football-news/jurgen-klopp-wants-make-people-10226671) amount (http://www.liverpoolecho.co.uk/sport/football/football-news/jurgen-klopp-spotted-liverpoolaccording-twitter-10221759) of hype (https://twitter.com/hashtag/klopp?f=tweets&vertical=news&src=hash) would be glorious.

[Psychotic]

You didn't get the best part of the hype. 35,000 people tracked his plane in from Germany.

Pretend like I'm not one of them, they'll never know. :shifty:

[Old Manus]

I was aware of that because a bloke in work (there are more Liverpool fans in Cardiff than Cardiff fans #Fact) was doing the same thing. I was trying to find a link to it along with the LivEcho guy weeing himself with excitement over it but it was hidden away in some live updates page somewhere.

[The Captain]

Honestly, the hype is crazy but he could be the man for the job. I've loved watching his passion at Dortmund and if he brings that along with a good sense of humor, he'll be fine.

I expect a spike in stylish glasses and beards all over Anfield.

Like Paul said, him being here just makes Liverpool worth watching again and as a fan, that's all I really want. I trust him to be a little more honest and critical than Brendan usually was, especially post match.

The question is, what can he do with Rodger's spare parts? There are some good pieces but we have far too many players who seem to be the same, few of them really capable of being game-changers. That could be the first and hardest hurdle.

I think a Top 6 finish and a Cup Final run would be a good start.

Also, awesome show of support from Dortmund:

http://www.espnfc.us/blog/the-toe-poke/65/post/2655288/dortmunds-beatles-tribute-for-klopp

The fact that a former club is wishing him so well speaks volumes to the level of admiration and good will the man can bring with him to Liverpool.

All hail "The Normal One".

[charliepanayi]

Cyprus still have a shot at the Euro 2016 playoffs. Not bad going.

[Psychotic]

Let's all take the time now to laugh at Scotland. You got your independence after all!

[charliepanayi]

Even funnier considering the Scottish FA were one of the main parties who pushed for an expansion to 24 teams. And they still fail to make it!

[Old Manus]

Everyone in mae wlad fy nhadau is of course freaking out about Gareth Bale AFC qualifying for Euro 2016 and bringing glory after 57 years of hurt etc but I can't help feeling it is a bit of an empty victory. People either forget or are unaware that the only reason we have qualified is because of UEFA's daft decision to increase the participant nations to 24. I mean finishing second in the group is still a great achievement after the last 20 years of guff but it would normally mean we would advance to a playoff against stronger opposition who we would more than likely lose to. I don't know about you guys but I've watched pretty much every minute of Wales' qualifying games and to say we are blunt up front would be an understatement of immense proportions. Bale can only offer so many moments of magic to bring us the 1-0 win.

That said, I don't think even the most deluded Wales fan honestly thinks we have a chance of getting anywhere in the tournament, we're just going to enjoy the experience. I'm still going to try and get hold of tickets, and have been brushing up on my 'mange tout's and 'bonnet de douche's in anticipation :excited:

[Psychotic]

I'm still going to try and get hold of tickets, and have been brushing up on my 'mange tout's and 'bonnet de douche's in anticipation :excited:Here's some helpful tips. And clowns, I guess.

okHMgiPZmTQ

[charliepanayi]

Empty victory? For god's sake, you just made the European Championships, just enjoy it. The expansion to 24 teams has actually made the qualifiers interesting for once.

Plus Albania have just qualified, that will make Scotland feel even better.

[Loony BoB]

I can understand Wales and Ireland laughing it up about Scotland falling short, but England have been knocked out of the Rugby World Cup at the group stage on their home turf while the rest of the home nations went through. Meanwhile, their national football team is the England national football team which I'm pretty sure most England fans concede is a joke in it's own right.

Haven't seen much on the news up here about Scotland missing out tbh. There's the clamour of "should he stay or should he go" for Strachan but the guys themselves are just shrugging and going "Oh well."

As for me, I keep looking at how NZ has to get through a South American team to get into WC 2018 and am preparing myself to say "Oh well." also. :(