is it possible to be too nice?

[Galuf]

Just a thought.

[Fynn]

I don't think so. You can be annoying or something, but that's no longer a part of being nice, really. Still, it's impossible to please everyone, so though your intentions are pure, there will always be people who will put you down regardless

[Night Fury]

Yes.

If you're too nice people take advantage of your niceness. It depends in what way you mean being nice. Sometimes you need to put yourself first but you can do that in a nice way.

also I don't trust people who are 'too nice' nobody is 'too nice'

[Galuf]

I meant nice as in. Caring about other people. And not ignoring them. Stuff like that.

[Night Fury]

Then yeah I still do think that it can be detrimental to you to be too nice to someone who isn't giving you the same back. If they are, then it's all cool.

[Pumpkin]

Nope. I used to wonder about that but studying in a field of people who have to be nice and caring as part of their job description, the answer is no. All of my human service professors are the nicest people ever, but they still know how to set boundaries and they still don't let you walk all over them. So you can still be a nice, caring person while also taking care of yourself and respecting yourself. Not the easiest thing to balance though, I imagine, but it is entirely possible

[Fynn]

Exactly. Setting boundaries for yourself does not have to equal being less nice.

[Shauna]

So you can still be a nice, caring person while also taking care of yourself and respecting yourself.

If you are nice to the point that you are not taking care of/respecting yourself - then you could be "too nice". But that's not a failing of being "nice", I feel, it's something else. Generally I agree there is no such thing.

[fire_of_avalon]

I agree with Pumpkin. I think a lot of people consider boundary setting something that is mutually exclusive from niceness - that being nice means you can't stand up for yourself or others. I don't think that's true, even though most people don't see it that way.

[Zanmato]

Yes.

If you're too nice people take advantage of your niceness. It depends in what way you mean being nice. Sometimes you need to put yourself first but you can do that in a nice way.

also I don't trust people who are 'too nice' nobody is 'too nice'

This.
Many people took advantage of my kindness and since then I trust only those who are trustworthy and fully deserved this title.

[Galuf]

Ok. Thanks guys and gals. Lads and lassies. I think i understand now lol.

[Night Fury]

Yes.

If you're too nice people take advantage of your niceness. It depends in what way you mean being nice. Sometimes you need to put yourself first but you can do that in a nice way.

also I don't trust people who are 'too nice' nobody is 'too nice'

This.
Many people took advantage of my kindness and since then I trust only those who are trustworthy and fully deserved this title.


I still trust people as per what I said in the broken promises thread. I just think if someone claims they are 'too nice' they'll show that they aren't eventually. Doesn't make me wary of them or anything.

[Fynn]

That is true. Nothing is more suspicious than someone informing you that they're nice.

[Shauna]

I think if someone calls themselves too nice, then there's probably something weird going on there.

But as a people, I don't think we can be "too nice".

[Galuf]

I tend to say im not nice. But that isnt true so yeah. The main reason i made this thread was to see how much is too nice. And it seems i know now. Hopefull other people get help from this thread too

[escobert]

Yes.

[Shorty]

That is true. Nothing is more suspicious than someone informing you that they're nice.

This 100%. If someone tells you that they are nice or too nice, they use their niceness to try to get things from people. Truly nice people do not go around telling others that they are nice. They just are nice.

That said, calling someone else "too nice" or saying that someone is "nice" can interchangeably mean that they are just naive.

[Psychotic]

Nice guys finish last. *weeps into fedora*

Also being nice isn't the same as being naive or lacking in assertiveness.

[Crop]

No.

[Kalevala]

That is true. Nothing is more suspicious than someone informing you that they're nice.

100%. This should always be a red flag unless it's being stated facetiously.

[Shiny]

You can never be too nice, but you can however be too giving.

[fire_of_avalon]

I'm nice.

:)

[Ayen]

I used to think I was 'too nice' while dealing with unruly people during my admin days, but in reality I was just doing my job.

However, if you were able to harness the power of niceness into pure energy and create a super weapon, then I believe it would be possible to be too nice, but is it still niceness if you use it as a weapon to hurt others? IT'S POWERED BY NICENESS!

Questions like that keep me up at night o.o

[Mr. Carnelian]

I used to think I was 'too nice' while dealing with unruly people during my admin days, but in reality I was just doing my job.

However, if you were able to harness the power of niceness into pure energy and create a super weapon, then I believe it would be possible to be too nice, but is it still niceness if you use it as a weapon to hurt others? IT'S POWERED BY NICENESS!

Questions like that keep me up at night o.o

Good to know that someone's thinking about the important stuff! :p

It's good to be nice to people. Kindness makes the world go round, after all. :spin: Generally speaking, you shouldn't worry about being too nice, because niceness is good. Unless of course you're planning to use that niceness to power some kind of weird, cartoon superweapon that sounds like it comes straight from The Powerpuff Girls...

[Bri]

Yes.

I agree with Bert.

[Vasher]

Yes, one can be "too nice". "Too nice" in the sense that said "niceness/niceties" impose upon personal ambitions/plans/goals/achievement in order to accommodate another, to the point of detriment. "Too nice" can be a compromise of valuable time, emotion, capital, etc. "Too nice" could be as simple as a "yes", when "no" would have properly communicated your position, but left the other party "wanting".


I have too many examples of "too nice", so I'll just leave it at that.

[Fynn]

A complete lack of assertiveness gas nothing to do with being nice, though, when you think about it.

[Aerith's Knight]

Nice guys finish last.

Jerks finish whenever they feel like it.

[Leigh]

Nice. A positive complimentation resting on a floating cloud of mediocracy. It's the go to adjective for something non-descript but not necessarily unpleasant.

Be kind, people. That's the true worth of a human. Kindness, not niceness. Baked beans and a jacket potato are 'nice'. Don't compare yourselves to British cuisine. You're all worth so much more than that!

[Galuf]

hope this aint too old to say but... i found out that being nice can hurt other people. it can make them remember stuff they wish not to remember, so that breaks my most basic greeting of asking how people are. this is a tough problem because now im at a loss of what i should do. should i ignore how they are? i dont think so. i dunno. maybe ill know when im less nervous.

[Pheesh]

hope this aint too old to say but... i found out that being nice can hurt other people. it can make them remember stuff they wish not to remember, so that breaks my most basic greeting of asking how people are. this is a tough problem because now im at a loss of what i should do. should i ignore how they are? i dont think so. i dunno. maybe ill know when im less nervous.

Saying "how are you doing?" does not make you responsible for how that person is actually doing. They would be having a bad day whether you asked or not. It is simply a common courtesy and not something you should be worrying about asking people. Most times if people do divulge that they are having a bad time then they usually are opening themselves up to speak about it, or at least receive a follow up question. If after that they say "I'd rather not talk about it" then the you simply drop it and go on with another conversation.

[Galuf]

hope this aint too old to say but... i found out that being nice can hurt other people. it can make them remember stuff they wish not to remember, so that breaks my most basic greeting of asking how people are. this is a tough problem because now im at a loss of what i should do. should i ignore how they are? i dont think so. i dunno. maybe ill know when im less nervous.

Saying "how are you doing?" does not make you responsible for how that person is actually doing. They would be having a bad day whether you asked or not. It is simply a common courtesy and not something you should be worrying about asking people. Most times if people do divulge that they are having a bad time then they usually are opening themselves up to speak about it, or at least receive a follow up question. If after that they say "I'd rather not talk about it" then the you simply drop it and go on with another conversation.


yeah that must be my problem still. i dwell too much on what ive done wrong that i leave chat temporaly because i fear ill make them hate me you know?


Also uh should this be on the lifestream part? im unsure

[FFNut]

hope this aint too old to say but... i found out that being nice can hurt other people. it can make them remember stuff they wish not to remember, so that breaks my most basic greeting of asking how people are. this is a tough problem because now im at a loss of what i should do. should i ignore how they are? i dont think so. i dunno. maybe ill know when im less nervous.

Honestly 'very been in a bad place for a long time now. However I know it's up to me to be fun. If I'm sad I never let it show. You asking me how I'm doing makes me smile. Let's me know someone cares. I enjoy it bad space or not. Don't worry about it much. Like I said, I enjoy being asked. Don't worry.