If you owned/ran a restaurant...

[Pumpkin]

What type would it be? What would it be called? What would you serve?

Pretend you don't have to worry about profits or whatever, just make the restaurant of our dreams

[Bri]

Escobri's Dine-in. I would serve all types of food including bbq, pastries and dessert. At an affordable price =)

[Pheesh]

Assuming I had the ability to cook it correctly? A French restaurant. It's just my favourite cuisine. Indulgent, elegant and has the best tasting dishes in my opinion. Ideally I'd like to do it in Australia and highlight fresh, seasonal Australian produce with a Summer menu that compliments the seafood.

Gave up on that dream a while ago though :(

[Depression Moon]

I always fantasized about owning a seafood restaurant.

[Pant Leg Eater from the Bad World]

I'm not telling you guys because I already have plans and I don't want nonnya nerds stealing my awesome ideas.

[Shiny]

I'd serve lactose free dairy products definitely like pizza, ice cream and mac and cheese. Although mac and cheese without real cheese is probably terrible.

[Ayen]

I'd recreate Bob's Burgers and get people to play all the characters.

[blackmage_nuke]

Tablet + credit card reader + note and coin slot at the table so people can order their own food and theres pictures+nutritional info for everything and breakfast is available all day. The rest would be pretty standard restuaraunt fare.

Unless I have unlimited seating and space then seating is time based and you are given 10 minutes, if you havent ordered your food by then because your too busy tweeting and texting then you get kicked out and the the next group is sent in. From then on you are given 45 minutes * weight of food in kilos/number of people so dont waste time instagraming your food or whatever.

[Vermachtnis]

Steak and Taters Restaurant with a bar. But the main draw is that the every server and cook each get a slap a week. . Want to order something to your exact snowflake specifications, that could be a slap. Cop an attitude to the server, that could be a slap. Want come in five minutes before we close, that could be a slap from everyone there.

[Burtsplurt]

Organic vegan. But I'd have a strict rule about people with dreadlocks (e.g. they get shot) because I can't stand them and they give the rest of us veggies a bad name.

[Pheesh]

Holy shit... Thank god some of you don't run restaurants O_O

Maybe you guys would be more comfortable owning, say, a wrestling company. Or being the head of a dictatorship.

[Bubba]

The first five people that enter the restaurant would be killed and served as that's days meat.

I'd call it John Doe's Meat Emporium

[Loony BoB]

It would be called You Get What You're Given. There would be a price that might vary day to day and there would be prices for "Food" and "Drink" and the people would get what they are given.

[blackmage_nuke]

Holy shit... Thank god some of you don't run restaurants O_O

Maybe you guys would be more comfortable owning, say, a wrestling company. Or being the head of a dictatorship.

Sometimes the customer has to be told that they're wrong

[Psychotic]

The One Eyed Monster. It only serves penises but my oh my, what a veritable cornucopia of animal dong it'd be. You want goat schlong? You got it. Fancy a little slice of walrus wang? Be our guest. In the mood for a nibble of a giraffe's johnson? Relax, we got you covered.

There would be a free meal for anyone who would be willing to take on the Bulging Blue Whale Boner challenge. Eat the whole pee pee in one sitting and the Crown of Ding-a-Ling would be yours.

[Pheesh]

The One Eyed Monster. It only serves penises but my oh my, what a veritable cornucopia of animal dong it'd be. You want goat schlong? You got it. Fancy a little slice of walrus wang? Be our guest. In the mood for a nibble of a giraffe's johnson? Relax, we got you covered.

There would be a free meal for anyone who would be willing to take on the Bulging Blue Whale Boner challenge. Eat the whole pee pee in one sitting and the Crown of Ding-a-Ling would be yours.

What do you guys have in the way of sauce options?

[Freya]

This thread got weird.

[Formalhaut]

It would be called You Get What You're Given. There would be a price that might vary day to day and there would be prices for "Food" and "Drink" and the people would get what they are given.

People with severe allergies might complain.

[Crop]

It'd be called Hannibal's, and I'd only serve liver with fava beans and a nice chianti.

[Shiny]

Legit laughing at everything in here.

[NorthernChaosGod]

It would serve steak and anyone that asked for something above medium would be asked to leave.

[Zanmato]

I'd run a vegetarian or a dessert restaurant - I love chocolate! :love:

[Laddy]

Bring Your Friends. Bring your friend and we'll prepare them per your order. :D

[Pumpkin]

I would do a poutine and beaver tail chip stand or something

[Kalevala]

My problem is that all of my job kitchen experience has been in pubs/bar & grill settings, when those aren't really my favourite kinds of food.

Maybe a vegan take one of those menus? I'm not really sure. I love sushi and Indian cuisine as well.

[TheKeybasHKey]

The KeybasH Kitchen. It serves any kinds of food, whatever your tastes desire.

[Madame Adequate]

I mean, what's really the point in posting here after Paul already posted that post?

[The Summoner of Leviathan]

Holy shit... Thank god some of you don't run restaurants O_O

Maybe you guys would be more comfortable owning, say, a wrestling company. Or being the head of a dictatorship.

Evidentially you haven't been in kitchens, chefs are dictators.

I would burn my restaurant down and dance on the ruins because I will have escaped the industry...

Or just open a small B&B like the Dragonfly Inn from Gilmore Girls and cook local and seasonal ingredients.

[Scotty_ffgamer]

Paddy's Pub.

[Pheesh]

Holy trout... Thank god some of you don't run restaurants O_O

Maybe you guys would be more comfortable owning, say, a wrestling company. Or being the head of a dictatorship.

Evidentially you haven't been in kitchens, chefs are dictators.


Over their staff, sure. They can't go around stuffing shellfish into everyone's mouth or slapping the freshly served food out of their customers mouths though... Much as they may like to.

[krissy]

i'd own a coffee shop where you have to grind your own coffee and make it yourself
and then you pay me to do it
but i open it up in a hipster area so i actually make money

[Aulayna]

Someone already beat me to my idea:
http://www.coqbull.com/

[Calliope]

Cafe No Soup For You - serving all manner of cuisine, with the exception of soup.