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View Full Version : Final Fantasy Men and/or Women: Snog Marry Avoid?



Midgar Mist
02-28-2016, 06:35 PM
Midgar Mist asks this for funsies. (And it can be any character, not just the playable ones.)

I say

Snog: Zack Fair (he's good looking but.....its a dangerous profession)
Marry: Tidus (dream schmeam I want my Tidus)
Avoid: Zidane (cos he'd seduce me then steal my stuff)

How about the rest of you?

maybee
02-28-2016, 07:16 PM
Avoid : Kefka

Colonel Angus
02-29-2016, 05:30 AM
Snog: Tifa
Marry: Quistis
Avoid: Unei

Fynn
02-29-2016, 11:46 AM
I don't really think any of the FF guys is marriage material, now that I think about it

The girls are a bit better about this, but still... I don't think so

Bubba
02-29-2016, 12:02 PM
Snog: Mukki
Marry: Tifa
Avoid: Lulu

Mr. Carnelian
02-29-2016, 01:10 PM
Smurf: Snow
Marry: Balthier
Avoid: Vaan
Stab in the face, over and over and over: Tidus

Fynn
02-29-2016, 01:25 PM
Snog: Snow

I'm surprised you can get over his 'I'M THE HERO!' shtick.

He is "Mr. 33cm", after all

Fynn
02-29-2016, 01:31 PM
Snog: Snow

I'm surprised you can get over his 'I'M THE HERO!' shtick.

He is "Mr. 33cm", after all

:jokey:

Exactly

Mr. Carnelian
02-29-2016, 01:35 PM
Snog: Snow

I'm surprised you can get over his 'I'M THE HERO!' shtick.

He is "Mr. 33cm", after all

:jokey:

Exactly

The "I'M THE HERO!" thing is why I'm smurfing him, not marrying him.

Also, I had NOT heard about this "Mr. 33cm" thing. That definitely cements his position in the list. :p

Fynn
02-29-2016, 01:36 PM
That was the first thing we ever heard about Snow, actually. Lightning was the first character revealed for XIII, and then there was Snow. I kid you not, the first info we got was that his "foot size" was 33cm.

Mr. Carnelian
02-29-2016, 01:44 PM
That was the first thing we ever heard about Snow, actually. Lightning was the first character revealed for XIII, and then there was Snow. I kid you not, the first info we got was that his "foot size" was 33cm.

Maybe this explains why Serah was so eager to marry Snow, despite them only having known each other quite a short time...

Anywho, I notice that you haven't actually answered the thread question, Fynn. Even if you wouldn't marry any of the characters, are there any who would snog (/smurf) or avoid?

Fynn
02-29-2016, 01:46 PM
I'm not much of a casual snog person. And I'm already married. But I'd avoid Tidus like the plague, that's for sure. And all those underage genki girls as well. I cannot risk any misunderstandings as I am way too pretty to go to prison.

Fynn
02-29-2016, 01:51 PM
Whereas I don't care into going into that territory ;)

These are characters that I enjoy (or don't) for being characters and it's really rare that I feel any kind of attraction or fantasy related to them. So yeah, that's my answer.

Midgar Mist
02-29-2016, 02:05 PM
Smurf: Snow
Marry: Balthier
Avoid: Vaan
Stab in the face, over and over and over: Tidus

whoahhhhh...ho...hooooo (backs slowly away)

Fynn
02-29-2016, 02:07 PM
STAB: Vaan

You are dead to me

Midgar Mist
02-29-2016, 02:17 PM
Easy tigers :kaocheer:

Forsaken Lover
02-29-2016, 02:43 PM
Shag: Kuja. Delicious.
Marry: Snow. To heck with you guys, Snow is the most dedicated husbando a person could ever want.
Avoid: Squall. He would cry after and it be awkward.
Stab: Squall again? If not, Vaan.

Shag: Paine. I like 'em covered in leather and tough.
Marry: Tifa. Cloud's Mom was clearly a CloTi shipper since she said Cloud needed a good wife to take care of him. I'm much the same.
Avoid: Lightning. She'd hit me.
Stab: Rosa. Ugh.

Mr. Carnelian
02-29-2016, 02:49 PM
I LOVE how the stab thing has taken off. :mwahaha:

Fynn
02-29-2016, 02:53 PM
Avoid: Squall. He would cry after and it be awkward.


Now that's a bit unfair. Squall was pretty cool on the outside first, then a bit nicer. All his whining was internal monologue, and who doesn't do that? If anyone, I think Tidus would be more likely to cry

Forsaken Lover
02-29-2016, 03:03 PM
Squall and Tidus both have issues but Squall's are so repressed, it's why I think he'd cry.

Tidus is a crybaby precisely because he doesn't hold it all in. He's very open with his feelings.

Tidus was a much more emotionally healthy person than Squall.

Fynn
02-29-2016, 03:03 PM
Squall and Tidus both have issues but Squall's are so repressed, it's why I think he'd cry.

Tidus is a crybaby precisely because he doesn't hold it all in. He's very open with his feelings.

Which is precisely why Tidus would cry

Squall would get dressed and leave before you wake up

Forsaken Lover
02-29-2016, 03:12 PM
Does anybody actually fall asleep after sex? I never have, nor do I know anyone who has.

Bubba
02-29-2016, 03:13 PM
Does anybody actually fall asleep after sex? I never have, nor do I know anyone who has.

So you've been awake constantly since you first had sex? That's rough, man.

Fynn
02-29-2016, 03:15 PM
Does anybody actually fall asleep after sex? I never have, nor do I know anyone who has.

After climaxing, people usually get tired since their organism just used up a lot of energy. Kind of like a cardio workout. So yeah, like Bubba said, you should probably get that looked at :p

Mr. Carnelian
02-29-2016, 03:24 PM
Does anybody actually fall asleep after sex? I never have, nor do I know anyone who has.

After climaxing, people usually get tired since their organism just used up a lot of energy. Kind of like a cardio workout. So yeah, like Bubba said, you should probably get that looked at :p

Organism? :p That made me chuckle.

Fynn
02-29-2016, 03:25 PM
Well, yes, I meant organism. Your organism, as in your body, uses up its energy when you climax, or orgasm. So yeah :colbert:

Fynn
02-29-2016, 03:28 PM
What is so weird about the word "organism" to you guys?

Pumpkin
02-29-2016, 03:31 PM
Smurf: Squall
Marry: Fang
Avoid: AERIS

Fynn
02-29-2016, 03:33 PM
The penis isn't necessary for reaching orgasm, no matter how much certain pundits try to convince us otherwise :p

Also, the term is perfectly appropriate when we're talking about the physiology of sex. I've read enough stuff about it, trust me :exdee:

Mr. Carnelian
02-29-2016, 03:37 PM
Does anybody actually fall asleep after sex? I never have, nor do I know anyone who has.

I think that Snow would probably get really annoying after sex. He'd probably be congratulating himself on how brilliant he just was, i.e. "Wow, I was so HEROIC there, wasn't I?"

Actually, he might well do that kind of thing during, as well, seeing how much he goes on about being a big hero in the games. If it weren't for the whole "Mr. 33cm" thing, I might start to be put off the whole idea of smurfing him, to be honest. :p

Fynn
02-29-2016, 03:38 PM
Wouldn't a... "foot" that big hurt? 33 is almost double the average size.

Fynn
02-29-2016, 03:44 PM
Also, the term is perfectly appropriate when we're talking about the physiology of sex. I've read enough stuff about it, trust me :exdee:

Probably catching up from all the stuff you missed from Catholic schooling, I bet.

I never went to a Catholic school, though? We actually have really great sex ed in Poland.

Mr. Carnelian
02-29-2016, 04:00 PM
Wouldn't a... "foot" that big hurt? 33 is almost double the average size.

The banter is strong in this thread. :nod:

At the risk of getting too saucy whether it would hurt would all depend on where it was going. And nobody says that he'd have to use the whole thing. TLDR, I'd find a way. ;)


Smurf: Squall
Marry: Fang
Avoid: AERIS

I can see Fang being good marriage material. Although, she does have a habit of turning into crystal for centuries at a time. You might need to work on that. :p

Pumpkin
02-29-2016, 04:06 PM
Well everyone needs some personal time away from their spouse anyway

Mr. Carnelian
02-29-2016, 04:12 PM
Well everyone needs some personal time away from their spouse anyway

True. A thousand years might be pushing it a bit, though. :p

Fynn
02-29-2016, 04:18 PM
whether it would hurt would all depend on where it was going. And nobody says that he'd have to use the whole thing. TLDR, I'd find a way. ;)

But that kind of defeats the purpose of greater length, doesn't it? I mean, why is it appealing if you intend to use only half of it anyway? :p

Mr. Carnelian
02-29-2016, 04:58 PM
whether it would hurt would all depend on where it was going. And nobody says that he'd have to use the whole thing. TLDR, I'd find a way. ;)

But that kind of defeats the purpose of greater length, doesn't it? I mean, why is it appealing if you intend to use only half of it anyway? :p

I like a challenge. :jokey: Anyway, why are you so obsessed with Snow's long 33cm, Fynn? You keep it on bringing it up :p
If you must give in to your obsession, I recently posted a thread in the FFXIII section titled "Mr 33cm".

Anywho, getting back to the original point of the thread (not that I mind the banter mind you, I'm loving it)...


Smurf: Squall
Marry: Fang
Avoid: AERIS

Seeing as it seems to be catching on (thank you, Formy and Forsaken Lover :)) is there anyone you'd rather stab than have anything to do with intimately or romantically? It's the logical one up from "Avoid". :p

Pumpkin
02-29-2016, 05:03 PM
Still Aeris

Always Aeris :stare:

Midgar Mist
02-29-2016, 05:04 PM
Well, yes, I meant organism. Your organism, as in your body, uses up its energy when you climax, or orgasm. So yeah :colbert:

True true, but if you suffer from insomnia you relax rather than sleep afterwards.

I apologise to any mods in advance who might say I've gone off topic. But I only read up to this point in the thread so...

Mr. Carnelian
02-29-2016, 05:07 PM
Well, yes, I meant organism. Your organism, as in your body, uses up its energy when you climax, or orgasm. So yeah :colbert:

True true, but if you suffer from insomnia you relax rather than sleep afterwards.

I apologise to any mods in advance who might say I've gone off topic. But I only read up to this point in the thread so...

This post doesn't even scratch the surface of how off-topic we've gone sometimes in these last few pages :p

Wheeling once again back to the topic, anybody you'd stab rather than just avoid, Midgar Mist? Join in, everybody's doing it.

Midgar Mist
02-29-2016, 10:24 PM
So all the cool kids are doing it?
I'm not normally one to give into my peers but

I would stab........Tifa there I said it. And I would tie up "My Cloud" first :-o

Forsaken Lover
03-01-2016, 05:02 AM
STAB, MURDER, EVISCERATE, INCINERATE: Garnet/Dagger/Princess Useless BItch

TWO gme Overs. TWO. All because "Dagger can't concentrate."

Fuck. You.

Midgar Mist
03-01-2016, 06:12 PM
Forsaken Lover, I see you have some issues with Garnet. That's okay :-)

Oh and I recommend the following to make up for this:

-Freya's Reis's Wind
-Amarant's Chakra
-Equip Chemist on Freya and Steiner
-Use Eiko for The Desert Palace bit
-Split your party carefully when Kuja gives you the choice.

Hope this helps.

Rez09
03-01-2016, 09:06 PM
Smurf: Cloud. Exceptional fun could be had here, but there is certainly no potential for any kind of lasting relationship.
Marry: Galuf. Not attractive, but has a great personality; easily a person I could spend my life with.
Avoid: Hojo. Beat out Kefka; he's more stable, but also more intelligent and at least as twisted.
Stab: Tidus. It needs to be shut up.

Smurf: Aeris. Exceptional fun WOULD be had here, but the attraction is exclusively physical.
Marry: Agrias. Strong, loyal, determined; a bit stuffy at times, but a pretty easy pick. :)
Avoid: Lenna. While I don't hate her by any stretch, she can just . . . go walk through poison ivy somewhere else.
Stab: Yuna. It needs to die. >:|

Jinx
03-02-2016, 12:38 AM
itt i learned mr. carny wants to take a foot of dick

fuck: kuja
marry: seymour
avoid: vaan
stab: squall

fuck: vanille
marry: tifa
avoid: rosa
stab: aeris

Wolf Kanno
03-07-2016, 03:50 AM
Gentlemen
Bed: Either Squall or Balthier cause hotdamn if their not both pretty boys.
Wed: Yang seems like he would be a pretty devoted husband material. Galuf would be fun too.
Behead: Shuyin, the even whinier Tidus.
Stab in the mothersmurfing face: Hope

Ladies
Bed: Rinoa or perhaps Celes
Wed: Lady Ashe or surprisingly enough Paine as she is a dead ringer for my ex.
Behead: Probably Yuna
Stab in the mothersmurfing face: Yuffie and Vanille.

Mr. Carnelian
03-07-2016, 12:52 PM
Gentlemen
Bed: Either Squall or Balthier cause hotdamn if their not both pretty boys.
Wed: Yang seems like he would be a pretty devoted husband material. Galuf would be fun too.
Behead: Shuyin, the even whinier Tidus.
Stab in the mothersmurfing face: Hope

Ladies
Bed: Rinoa or perhaps Celes
Wed: Lady Ashe or surprisingly enough Paine as she is a dead ringer for my ex.
Behead: Probably Yuna
Stab in the mothersmurfing face: Yuffie and Vanille.

We've escalated to behead now, have we? Marvellous:mwahaha:

Forsaken Lover
03-07-2016, 01:43 PM
Wolf is known for his edgy song "I Hate Little Girls" made in response to Oingo Boingo's "Little Girls."

Why would anyone hate Yuffie, anyway?

Fynn
03-07-2016, 01:44 PM
Because she's a human trash can

Seriously, I'm with Wolf on this all the way

Formalhaut
03-07-2016, 01:50 PM
Well, keep on spreading the love guys.

Forsaken Lover
03-07-2016, 03:14 PM
Because she's a human trash can

Seriously, I'm with Wolf on this all the way

She has a cool theme, one of the best Limits and an interesting sidequest.

Your answer is inadequately detailed.

Fynn
03-07-2016, 03:22 PM
Sorry, I'm not in the mood for digging through heaps of grabage :monster:

Mr. Carnelian
03-07-2016, 03:46 PM
Because she's a human trash can

Seriously, I'm with Wolf on this all the way

She has a cool theme, one of the best Limits and an interesting sidequest.

Your answer is inadequately detailed.


Sorry, I'm not in the mood for digging through heaps of grabage :monster:

Everyone's turning against each other. This thread descends into chaos, just as I planned. :mwahaha:

Wolf Kanno
03-07-2016, 06:19 PM
Because she's a human trash can

Seriously, I'm with Wolf on this all the way

She has a cool theme, one of the best Limits and an interesting sidequest.

Your answer is inadequately detailed.

Her theme is not nearly as good as the other female characters or characters in general, her limits are just poor substitutes of better character ones and are entirely too reliant on her Ultimate weapon to make them any good, and her sidequests are probably some of my least favorite sections of the game barring the "Big Materia Rescue" quest that is disc 2. She's not "cute" she's a selfish bitch who pulls a Karma Houdini, because some writer mistakes her being a total pain in the ass for comic relief.

As for Wed, Bed, Behead... it's just the history minor in me. :shobon:

Forsaken Lover
03-07-2016, 07:33 PM
Bloodfest does not require the agony of grinding at the Battle Arena so while it's not as good as Omnislash, I accept it gladly since it comes free.

Yuffie isn't a bad person, she's a thief in the vain of other fantasy thieves like IX's Tantalus or that dude from VI who insists he's just a treasure hunter. She never did any sort of real crime or supported any such crimes, either.

She's just in that angry, rebellious teen phase only it's tinged with things like her hometown being a caricature of its former self while the evil bastards who beat them rule the world. She's not out to hurt anyone except Shinra and she has much less blood on her hands while trying to do that than Barret or the rest of AVALANCHE do.

All she wants is to restore her great home to its true glory.

I can understand not liking Yuffie but she's so...incidental that I can't understand hating her with any kind of passion.

Wolf Kanno
03-08-2016, 12:14 AM
Bloodfest does not require the agony of grinding at the Battle Arena so while it's not as good as Omnislash, I accept it gladly since it comes free.

Yuffie isn't a bad person, she's a thief in the vain of other fantasy thieves like IX's Tantalus or that dude from VI who insists he's just a treasure hunter. She never did any sort of real crime or supported any such crimes, either.

None of them screw you over for their own personal gain.


She's just in that angry, rebellious teen phase only it's tinged with things like her hometown being a caricature of its former self while the evil bastards who beat them rule the world. She's not out to hurt anyone except Shinra and she has much less blood on her hands while trying to do that than Barret or the rest of AVALANCHE do.

All she wants is to restore her great home to its true glory.

I can understand not liking Yuffie but she's so...incidental that I can't understand hating her with any kind of passion.

Yes, let's just steal from the only people actually doing something about Shin-Ra, that makes so much sense! We can just hand wave all this because of her silly sob story about feeling bad her home country isn't awesome anymore because of the big bad Shin-Ra, that your party is trying to stop. smurf her. She's selfish, opportunistic and spends most of the plot being a whiny brat when she's not trying to screw your party over.

Fynn
03-08-2016, 09:47 AM
Please don't ever bring out the "what's your problem? They're a nice person!" argument to me when we're talking about characters. Characters aren't people and I DK t judge characters how I'd judge people. She may be the nicest girl in the neighborhood, but if the way she's written is annoying as all hell, then she annoys me. Yuffie has no personality aside from being genki ands charming to steal your stuff. There's nothing endearing about it. She's just a waste of space.

Forsaken Lover
03-08-2016, 10:04 AM
I was replying to WK's comment about her being a Karma Huudini when I pointed out she was nice, not you.

As for Yuffie "screwing you over", she takes your materia for like an hour at most. She then joins you in killing Sephiroth and saving the world. I think she more than redeemed herself.

No one is saying Yuffie is a saint - she's decidedly selfish and she's the only person who outright says "I don't sympathize witH Barret at all" when he recounts what Shinra did to Corel. But as I say, she's just a teenager and most of that is teenager stuff. She's just channeled her teenager-ness into also trying to liberate her hometown.

DarkBahamut
03-12-2016, 07:16 AM
Smurf: Vanille, she is like a couple thousand years old right? Who can hate on experience?
Marry: Tifa, I'd put her for smurf, but she is actually shown very caring and emotional enough so I like it. Quistis would also be decent wifey material, but she has a little bit of the loser-ish feel when she whines after the dance to Squall.
Avoid: Selphie, honestly seems to dumb to deal with.

Midgar Mist
03-15-2016, 09:57 PM
Because she's a human trash can

Seriously, I'm with Wolf on this all the way

She has a cool theme, one of the best Limits and an interesting sidequest.

Your answer is inadequately detailed.


Sorry, I'm not in the mood for digging through heaps of grabage :monster:

Everyone's turning against each other. This thread descends into chaos, just as I planned. :mwahaha:

Awww Carny, can't it be a JOINT evil plan? After all, I did start the thread.

Mr. Carnelian
03-16-2016, 01:05 AM
Everyone's turning against each other. This thread descends into chaos, just as I planned. :mwahaha:

Awww Carny, can't it be a JOINT evil plan? After all, I did start the thread.

But I'M the one that perverted it to evil. :p

Midgar Mist
03-16-2016, 02:50 AM
Maybe you're right.....meglomaniac evil doers must work alone :-D