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Team_Wingless
05-08-2016, 12:31 PM
tl:dr I need to write the train sequence as anything other than a simulation.

So I'm not very well known here, I wrote a full novelization of FF7 CRISIS CORE as a pet-project. When I ripped the serial numbers off the first cutscene in the game to see if the story stood on its own, everyone hated it. This is a problem as I want the story to not just resonate with a handful of fans, but with people who read novels in general. Hence, the opening train sequence has to go.


The original SqE concept is that Zack and Angeal get in a shootout 007 style on top of a train, save the day, but Zack screws up in a fight against Sephiroth and the entire scene disintegrates, revealing the whole mission to be a pixelated hologram. Everyone HATED this (even most ppl who knew about the game). I've done some damage control and rewritten it to where there is no train, Zack and Angeal get into a 007 fight in the Train Graveyard, and the objective is to save Reactor 1 from blowing up. Zack messes up and types the abort code in wrong, which blows up the facility anyway and the scene disintegrates revealing everything to be a simulation. People seem to like this better.


What everyone is still irate about is the whole fact that it's a "simulation." I've gotten feedback that it's a complete letdown and I see their point. Someone had the idea to change it to a dream sequence, in which Zack wakes up instead of the whole mission disintegrating to a training room. There is always the option to make it an actual mission but it would have to succeed, and then what is even the point of the game's story? I kinda wanted to scrap the whole thing and make it a failed duel against Sephiroth, in which he tells Angeal "he's not ready" and we jump straight to story, but I have a feeling it would turn into a logistical nightmare.


What do you guys think? How would fans of the game want to see the simulation thing made less anti-climactic? Or what would you want them to do instead?


(Shoutout to awesome posters in the acknowledgements)

Fynn
05-08-2016, 01:11 PM
Eh, I've personally never felt any disappointment with the fact that it was a simulation, so I don't really get the issue or how it can be fixed

maybee
05-08-2016, 01:19 PM
Eh, I've personally never felt any disappointment with the fact that it was a simulation, so I don't really get the issue or how it can be fixed

Same here. I thought that it was cool and a very unique and flashy way of showing how Soldiers do their training.

Now if the whole game was a simulation on the other hand was a simulation, now * that * would've been disappointing and annoying.

Team_Wingless
05-11-2016, 05:19 PM
Yeah that's 2 out of like 180 people who didn't like it, I have to weigh the praise vs criticism. SqE came up with a really hacked together campy script and when you rip the brand name off it, that cringe shines through like a fat guy mooning you. I basically had to make Zack not say anything for a long time or readers would get mad that he was so full of himself and corny...THAT was the SqE concept.

So it's gotta go, most everything has to go, especially the simulation idea, but any opinions as to what people who are passionate about the series would like to see instead would be appreciated. I'm not a fan, but I'm trying to accommodate.

Fynn
05-11-2016, 05:21 PM
Honestly, if you ask me, the train scene was the least of the game's problems :p

Team_Wingless
05-11-2016, 05:27 PM
Honestly, if you ask me, the train scene was the least of the game's problems :p

Looool easy tiger that's a whole seperate post! :lol:

Fynn
05-11-2016, 05:32 PM
Honestly though, sorry if this is derailing this thread, but for a story filled with so, so many bad decisions, the fact that people have enough energy left to complain about the train scene is just... wow.

Anyway, if you ask me - and I'm sorry if this sounds hard - making it into a dream sequence sounds like a dumb idea. Making it a real sequence is better, but still doesn't really have the same impact. I personally have no problem with this scene as, like maybee said, it gives you an exciting intro while also showcasing how Shinra training works and what kind of technology they have access to. It's a solid case of good exposition without using any words - dare I say, it's even subtle, which is a really rare thing in Japanese media.

If you really need to alter it, I'd say get rid of it entirely. If people are upset by it, then perhaps it's just better to start with at a different point.

Team_Wingless
05-11-2016, 11:09 PM
Oh man, I'm not brave enough to start the Crisis Core Complaint Thread (I'd need to refill my antipsychotic Rx first lol).

Making it an actual mission seems to be the strongest suggestion at this point, and I'll probably either rewrite it as an Avalanche mission or cut it completely and start off at the Pagoda level. Either way, I don't know how much hope there is for fixing this mess of a game, and before anyone asks, I have no idea why I'm trying. :(

Thank you for your suggestions and insight!

Fynn
05-12-2016, 08:08 AM
Hey, sorry if that was discouraging! Your effort is admirable and you shouldn't give up ;)

Team_Wingless
05-12-2016, 09:23 AM
Thank you for your encouragement, but au contraire, this is something I should have given up as soon as I started. :P

Fynn
05-12-2016, 09:31 AM
No story is unsalvageable. The problem with Crisis Core is the writers either didn't care or were just incompetent. You can do this.