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View Full Version : A vampire is at your door...



Pumpkin
06-28-2016, 05:00 PM
What do you do? Choose wisely.

Freya
06-28-2016, 05:41 PM
Big question here, if vampires don't have a reflection, can a picture be taken of them?

Depression Moon
06-28-2016, 05:58 PM
Big question here, if vampires don't have a reflection, can a picture be taken of them?

Yeah, I gotta know this.

Pumpkin
06-28-2016, 06:03 PM
I guess you'll find out when you take the picture

CimminyCricket
06-28-2016, 06:09 PM
I thought about taking the picture, but I didn't want to chance it not developing on the film, so I killed him instead.

Bubba
06-28-2016, 06:20 PM
We played 60 games of Battle Mode on Super Mario Kart and it was awesome.

Karifean
06-28-2016, 07:14 PM
I take up a Phoenix Wright pose, pointing at the supposed vampire, and loudly proclaim "Vampires do not exist!"

Psychotic
06-28-2016, 08:12 PM
Come on in and let's play some Jenga.

theundeadhero
06-28-2016, 10:02 PM
I went back to bed. Aint no one got time for that.

fat_moogle
06-28-2016, 10:33 PM
Invite him in for tea, of course! That's tea as in tea, not tea, because I'd rather make him tea than be his tea.

Ayen
06-28-2016, 10:42 PM
Go back to bed, lol.

Mr. Carnelian
06-28-2016, 10:56 PM
Mock him as he stands there, because he can't get in unless I say so. And from then on, never go outside after dark ever again. Can't get me during the daytime, (blood)sucker.

Depression Moon
06-29-2016, 12:22 AM
Mock him as he stands there, because he can't get in unless I say so. And from then on, never go outside after dark ever again. Can't get me during the daytime, (blood)sucker.

If these are the vamps that can hypnotize you then they can force you to invite them in. Best bet is to shut the door.

Formalhaut
06-29-2016, 01:48 AM
Think to myself that I've stumbled onto the set of a Twilight inspired gay porn scenario.

Ayen
06-29-2016, 03:02 AM
Think to myself that I've stumbled onto the set of a Twilight inspired gay porn scenario.

Mr. Carnelian dressed as a vampire?

Madame Adequate
06-29-2016, 05:00 AM
Ask what the price is for being made into a vampire.

Madame Adequate
06-29-2016, 05:01 AM
I thought about taking the picture, but I didn't want to chance it not developing on the film, so I killed him instead.

Vampires would show up on digital cameras. The reason they were thought not to appear in traditional photographs is because pre-digital cameras used mirrors to function.

Ayen
06-29-2016, 05:25 AM
Ask what the price is for being made into a vampire.

Living forever and slowly losing your mind while everything you know falls and is replaced and you're all that's left when the world ends, I'd imagine.

Pumpkin
06-29-2016, 05:34 AM
Or until Buffy shows up and stakes you through the heart

Ayen
06-29-2016, 05:47 AM
Or until Buffy shows up and stakes you through the heart

Depending on your luck there's a chance she'll at least sleep with you first, and then send you to hell.

Buffy doesn't beat around bush.

Edit: LMAO! Beat around bush! No, that's too good. I'm not fixing it.

Vermachtnis
06-29-2016, 06:16 AM
I'd kill him and collect the XP and loot.

Forsaken Lover
06-29-2016, 09:17 AM
Or until Buffy shows up and stakes you through the heart

Depending on your luck there's a chance she'll at least sleep with you first, and then send you to hell.

Buffy doesn't beat around bush.

Edit: LMAO! Beat around bush! No, that's too good. I'm not fixing it.

BufyxFaith was canon.

Also if the vampire is Louis, I invite him in and write a book about him. I also am smart enough to actually LISTEN to what he says. Do you guys remember how Interview ended? The dude listening to Louis' huge fucked-up story was like "that was...AWESOME!"

Seriously, how fucking stupid can you get.

Wolf Kanno
06-29-2016, 09:48 AM
Vampire: Good Evening!

:wcanoe: : What do you want?

Vampire: I want to come in!

:wcanoe: : Did you bring a pizza?

Vampire: No...

:wcanoe: : Did you bring your 3DS so we can game?

Vampire: Um... no...

:wcanoe: :Then what are you good for?

Vampire: I can make you immortal!

:wcanoe: :Will I have to talk to people ever again?

Vampire: Well you may have to go door to door like I am to find a willing victim. Monster Union won't let us attack helpless strangers anymore...

:wcanoe: :So you're a Jehovah's Witness now?

Vampire: No! Of course, not! I simply want to drink your blood and send you into an eternal life of darkness and despair!

:wcanoe: :And the difference from a Jehovah's Witness is?

Vampire: Hmm... Never thought about that.

Jehovah'sWitness: Sir, may I come in so I can talk to you about the one true lord and savior?

:wcanoe: : Did you bring your 3DS so we could game?

JW: No.

Vampire: Well did you at least bring a pizza with you?

JW: Um... No...

:wcanoe: *shuts door*

JW: Would you like to hear about the one true gospel?

Vampire: Maybe we can work out a little deal...

Fynn
06-29-2016, 10:18 AM
*poke*

Forsaken Lover
06-29-2016, 10:50 AM
Vampire: Good Evening!

:wcanoe: : What do you want?

Vampire: I want to come in!

:wcanoe: : Did you bring a pizza?

Vampire: No...

:wcanoe: : Did you bring your 3DS so we can game?

Vampire: Um... no...

:wcanoe: :Then what are you good for?

Vampire: I can make you immortal!

:wcanoe: :Will I have to talk to people ever again?

Vampire: Well you may have to go door to door like I am to find a willing victim. Monster Union won't let us attack helpless strangers anymore...

:wcanoe: :So you're a Jehovah's Witness now?

Vampire: No! Of course, not! I simply want to drink your blood and send you into an eternal life of darkness and despair!

:wcanoe: :And the difference from a Jehovah's Witness is?

Vampire: Hmm... Never thought about that.

Jehovah'sWitness: Sir, may I come in so I can talk to you about the one true lord and savior?

:wcanoe: : Did you bring your 3DS so we could game?

JW: No.

Vampire: Well did you at least bring a pizza with you?

JW: Um... No...

:wcanoe: *shuts door*

JW: Would you like to hear about the one true gospel?

Vampire: Maybe we can work out a little deal...

Mormon: I brought a PSVita, can I come in?

fat_moogle
06-29-2016, 11:55 AM
Vampire: Good Evening!

:wcanoe: : What do you want?

Vampire: I want to come in!

:wcanoe: : Did you bring a pizza?

Vampire: No...

:wcanoe: : Did you bring your 3DS so we can game?

Vampire: Um... no...

:wcanoe: :Then what are you good for?

Vampire: I can make you immortal!

:wcanoe: :Will I have to talk to people ever again?

Vampire: Well you may have to go door to door like I am to find a willing victim. Monster Union won't let us attack helpless strangers anymore...

:wcanoe: :So you're a Jehovah's Witness now?

Vampire: No! Of course, not! I simply want to drink your blood and send you into an eternal life of darkness and despair!

:wcanoe: :And the difference from a Jehovah's Witness is?

Vampire: Hmm... Never thought about that.

Jehovah'sWitness: Sir, may I come in so I can talk to you about the one true lord and savior?

:wcanoe: : Did you bring your 3DS so we could game?

JW: No.

Vampire: Well did you at least bring a pizza with you?

JW: Um... No...

:wcanoe: *shuts door*

JW: Would you like to hear about the one true gospel?

Vampire: Maybe we can work out a little deal...

The irony of the Jehova giving blood to the vampire.

Mr. Carnelian
06-29-2016, 01:16 PM
Think to myself that I've stumbled onto the set of a Twilight inspired gay porn scenario.

Mr. Carnelian dressed as a vampire?

I do actually have a vampire costume lying around somewhere...

Fynn
06-29-2016, 01:28 PM
Think to myself that I've stumbled onto the set of a Twilight inspired gay porn scenario.

Mr. Carnelian dressed as a vampire?

I do actually have a vampire costume lying around somewhere...

why am i not surprised

Ayen
06-29-2016, 01:40 PM
Vampire: Good Evening!

:wcanoe: : What do you want?

Vampire: I want to come in!

:wcanoe: : Did you bring a pizza?

Vampire: No...

:wcanoe: : Did you bring your 3DS so we can game?

Vampire: Um... no...

:wcanoe: :Then what are you good for?

Vampire: I can make you immortal!

:wcanoe: :Will I have to talk to people ever again?

Vampire: Well you may have to go door to door like I am to find a willing victim. Monster Union won't let us attack helpless strangers anymore...

:wcanoe: :So you're a Jehovah's Witness now?

Vampire: No! Of course, not! I simply want to drink your blood and send you into an eternal life of darkness and despair!

:wcanoe: :And the difference from a Jehovah's Witness is?

Vampire: Hmm... Never thought about that.

Jehovah'sWitness: Sir, may I come in so I can talk to you about the one true lord and savior?

:wcanoe: : Did you bring your 3DS so we could game?

JW: No.

Vampire: Well did you at least bring a pizza with you?

JW: Um... No...

:wcanoe: *shuts door*

JW: Would you like to hear about the one true gospel?

Vampire: Maybe we can work out a little deal...

If another JW ever knock on my door I'm stealing the 3DS line.




Think to myself that I've stumbled onto the set of a Twilight inspired gay porn scenario.

Mr. Carnelian dressed as a vampire?

I do actually have a vampire costume lying around somewhere...

Picture thread now!

Depression Moon
06-29-2016, 02:31 PM
Vampire: Good Evening!

:wcanoe: : What do you want?

Vampire: I want to come in!

:wcanoe: : Did you bring a pizza?

Vampire: No...

:wcanoe: : Did you bring your 3DS so we can game?

Vampire: Um... no...

:wcanoe: :Then what are you good for?

Vampire: I can make you immortal!

:wcanoe: :Will I have to talk to people ever again?

Vampire: Well you may have to go door to door like I am to find a willing victim. Monster Union won't let us attack helpless strangers anymore...

:wcanoe: :So you're a Jehovah's Witness now?

Vampire: No! Of course, not! I simply want to drink your blood and send you into an eternal life of darkness and despair!

:wcanoe: :And the difference from a Jehovah's Witness is?

Vampire: Hmm... Never thought about that.

Jehovah'sWitness: Sir, may I come in so I can talk to you about the one true lord and savior?

:wcanoe: : Did you bring your 3DS so we could game?

JW: No.

Vampire: Well did you at least bring a pizza with you?

JW: Um... No...

:wcanoe: *shuts door*

JW: Would you like to hear about the one true gospel?

Vampire: Maybe we can work out a little deal...


10 minutes after I read this, a Jehova's Witness knocked on my door.

Ayen
06-29-2016, 11:43 PM
Did you ask if they had a 3DS so you could game?

Depression Moon
06-30-2016, 04:50 AM
Nah, that would be weird.

blackmage_nuke
06-30-2016, 08:56 AM
Ask what the price is for being made into a vampire.

Living forever and slowly losing your mind while everything you know falls and is replaced and you're all that's left when the world ends, I'd imagine.

You'll have the other vampires to hang out with at least. And theoretically you should be immune to any actual physical deformities of the brain like dementia so any losing of the mind is dependant on one's own mental fortitude. The only downside I see is the difficulty in obtaining enough human blood to survive without being exposed

Mr. Carnelian
06-30-2016, 12:17 PM
The only downside I see is the difficulty in obtaining enough human blood to survive without being exposed

Plus there's always the the old "having to kill people by draining their blood in order to stay alive" thing. Unless you're planning to subsist on stealing from blood banks, which would still end up resulting in someone's death at some point down the line.

Fynn
06-30-2016, 12:28 PM
Has anybody here seen Only Lovers Left Alive? Where to get the blood from is kind of a central thing there.

Amazing movie, by the way. I highly recommend it.

blackmage_nuke
07-01-2016, 02:29 AM
The only downside I see is the difficulty in obtaining enough human blood to survive without being exposed

Plus there's always the the old "having to kill people by draining their blood in order to stay alive" thing. Unless you're planning to subsist on stealing from blood banks, which would still end up resulting in someone's death at some point down the line.

Well I was thinking just drain enough to survive or drain small amounts from multiple humans, no need to kill anyone. What would be great is if I could find a permanent blood donor and in exchange for 20 years worth of blood I would turn them into a vampire and hopefully if vampirism becomes widespread enough it would be the new societal norm like becoming an adult when you turn 18, you pay your blood dues and become a vampire when you turn 25 (if you choose)

Also apparantly blood can only be stored for 6 weeks so if possible, and if it doesnt have any adverse effects from drinking I'd try find where theyre dumping unused blood and take that

CimminyCricket
07-01-2016, 06:01 AM
Has anybody here seen Only Lovers Left Alive? Where to get the blood from is kind of a central thing there.

Amazing movie, by the way. I highly recommend it.

I've never heard of it before now, so I'm going to have to look into it. I looked it up on Wikipedia and it sounds amazing.

Mr. Carnelian
07-01-2016, 10:41 AM
Well I was thinking just drain enough to survive or drain small amounts from multiple humans, no need to kill anyone. What would be great is if I could find a permanent blood donor and in exchange for 20 years worth of blood I would turn them into a vampire and hopefully if vampirism becomes widespread enough it would be the new societal norm like becoming an adult when you turn 18, you pay your blood dues and become a vampire when you turn 25 (if you choose)

For why vampirism as the norm would be a terrible idea, see the film 'Daybreakers'. There wouldn't be enough blood to go around. Also, the more people you drain blood from, the more likely you are to get caught. Every drainee you leave alive is another person who knows what you look like and can report you to the authorities.

Anywho, between Jehovah's Witnesses and vampires at my door, I've got to say I'd rather have a Jehovah's Witness. In my experience they can actually be really good for a chat, they leave if you say you're not interested, and they don't try to kill you and/or suck your blood. In fact, I'm fairly sure they'd turn down your blood even if you offered it and they needed it (no blood transfusions IS one of their things, right?). Oooo, imagine what a hard time a Jehovah's Witness would have if they were turned into a vampire!

Fynn
07-01-2016, 10:47 AM
Anywho, between Jehovah's Witnesses and vampires at my door, I've got to say I'd rather have a Jehovah's Witness. In my experience they can actually be really good for a chat, they leave if you say you're not interested, and they don't try to kill you and/or suck your blood.

Wow. Don't know if you've been lucky with your JWs or if I've been incredibly unlucky with mine.

Mr. Carnelian
07-01-2016, 10:52 AM
Anywho, between Jehovah's Witnesses and vampires at my door, I've got to say I'd rather have a Jehovah's Witness. In my experience they can actually be really good for a chat, they leave if you say you're not interested, and they don't try to kill you and/or suck your blood.

Wow. Don't know if you've been lucky with your JWs or if I've been incredibly unlucky with mine.

Jehovah's Witnesses have tried to kill you? Are you sure it wasn't actually a vampire at your door?

Fynn
07-01-2016, 10:57 AM
A vampire won't cross your doorstep unless you invite it in though

Chris
07-01-2016, 11:32 AM
Give him my "rare" steaks.

Also, this is post 11,111