Let's Chart - Uncharted: Drake's Fortune!

[Formalhaut]

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http://home.eyesonff.com/images/eoff_smilies//icon2.gif Let's get exploring!

So the release of Uncharted 4: A Thief's End has inspired me to give this game another attempt. I played it over five years ago and I stopped playing because - and feel free to laugh - the zombie monsters. The smurfing zombie monsters. I'm not a fan of zombie monsters. I'm not a fan of horror in general. And then those smurfing weird creatures with the possible insta-kill move show and I nope out of the game.

But not this time! Mercifully I've forgotten most of the plot and all of the controls, and to hell or high water I will actually complete this game and move on to the second game, which will definitely not have creepy things whatsoever. Nope, none.

I purchased the Nathan Drake Collection for relatively cheap yesterday, and wouldn't you know it, Mr. Carny beat the entire game in a day. I can't promise such rapid times, primarily because I am bad at shooters, cautious in combat and fastidious in collecting. But let's get cracking! Thanks to the PS4, it can take screenshots for me. Which is neat, because pictures are great. There's also a Photo Mode option for this remaster, which might be handy.

I'll be commenting on story, so if you haven't played the game, consider this your warning (well, I suppose you've been spoiled on zombie monsters), and before you ask, I'm playing on Easy. Because of course I am.



Chapter I
Ambushed


So we start in some picturesque unnamed ocean. Actually, not just yet. First we have an artsy, deep message from Sir Francis Drake which basically translates to: finish what you started. Such wisdom, Sir Drake!


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Before I move on, can I just comment on how good looking Nathan Drake is? There's a variety of unlockable skins. Shirtless Drake isn't a thing, unfortunately. He's one sexy explorer/archaeologist. Honestly, in the world of gaming and fiction, they might as well be the same thing.


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Has an attractive underwear modelling career lined up if this exploring gig doesn't work out



Talking about shady archaeological practice, we're only seconds in and we're already defiling old, sacred relics and coffins. Drake attempts to cover and say it was an empty coffin, but he couldn't have possibly have known that before opening. So yeah, you might as well beat up ethical practice itself, Drake.


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Take that, scientific integrity!


Drake is joined by Elena, who I am guessing is the female lead (read: main love interest) of this story. She's a journalist. A really dedicated journalist, as we'll soon discover. Upon opening the coffin, Drake apparently finds what he was looking for: no, not a skeleton, but a diary! Sir Francis Drake's diary! What a find.

Now let's go read it like we're reading some teenage girl's diary and giggle about how he totally fancies Chad over Thomas.


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Shock horror! Drake and Elena's gossipy spying time is interrupted by, you guessed it:


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"uh, pirates."

Fortunately, Drake has exactly two pistols, and there's two people on board. Well that works out nicely. Especially given the fact that Elena apparently knows how to handle Drake's tool with ease. Wasn't she meant to just be a humble journalist?


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On second thoughts...


And so we enter combat for the first time, and demonstrate immediately how bad I am at shooters by getting Drake's health into off-grey (there's no life bars in these games), in the tutorial section, on easy. I'm also supremely inept at doing brutal combos. I know you're meant to pause slightly before pressing triangle, but the guy I'm beating up just punches me back. Ugh. I might just avoid all hand-to-hand completely.

I also kept confusing the 'take cover' button for 'jump/climb' button, which was the opposite of the intended effect. I'm sure I'll get used to that.

Otherwise, combat was okay, but was obviously easier than I'll end up getting into. The best bit was the banter between Drake and Elena.


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They then bring in a rocket launcher, just to up the stakes. They look like instant-kill weapons to me, which immediately raises alarm bells. Mercifully, I only had to avoid that for a few moments, before the cavalry arrives to rescue us.

In this case, the cavalry is represented by a friendly if somewhat creepy man called Sullivan.


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The trio decamp to a lovely, pirate-free island. Nate tells Sully the good news. Basically, Sir Francis found El Dorado and swore his crew to silence, which gets Sullivan all aquiver.


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Sully's cigar is still permanently glued to his face, apparently


Meanwhile, Elena's outside on the phone. My first-ish impressions of her are pretty good, I have to admit. She seems like a strong character, not someone prone to be a damsel in distress type figure.


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Not so good with paperwork, however


In the end, Nate and Sully ditch Elena to wander the jungle for El Dorado, which is only barely surprising, leaving her alone on the docks. No doubt she'll reappear.

And that's the end of the first chapter! A lot of cutscenes. But a good start to the game. Join me next time while we find El Dorado! Yup. Chapter Two. We're gonna find it now, I can feel it!

[Ayen]

I have never played a single Uncharted game in my life, but I will follow this thread for the funny comments.

Also, Elena is hot.

[Bubba]

Oh yes oh yes oh yes. An Uncharted Lets Play! I'll be eagerly following this.

I have great memories of Uncharted. Completed the original three games quite a few times. Sully is the best!

[Mr. Carnelian]

Shirtless Drake isn't a thing, unfortunately.

Such a waste.

I really enjoyed this game, and the second one (which I haven't finished yet) is even better.

[Formalhaut]

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http://home.eyesonff.com/images/eoff_smilies//icon2.gif Previously on Formy's Fortune...

We began our adventure on a boat in some nowhere ocean (but probably the pacific), salvaging some coffin from the water. Drake shows off his body in a skintight diving suit, and we're introduced to Elena Fisher - a no-nonsense journalist with attitude.

Drake finds his ancestor's diary, and with it, possible clues to El Dorado. With creepy old guy Sullivan in tow, the two ditch Elena and head to some jungle in Central America to discover more.

We're entering the game proper now!


Chapter II
The Search for El Dorado

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Almost immediately, we learn about Sully's 'skills' with a barmaid in Lima. Because we were just dying to know how much Viagra it takes for him to get frisky with a woman half his age.

While enjoying the banter, I stumble upon the first treasure in the game (which Mr. Carny missed, for shame). Well, I say 'stumble', more 'playing with guide in hand so I don't miss any'. Moving past a beautiful waterfall, Nate and Sully enter some old ruin. These are some old ruins - way older than Sully initially estimates. More importantly, these conveniently placed pillars and ledges can only mean one thing - welcome to Introduction to Climbing 101!


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Someone's ready to ruin their manicure!


Eventually we find out that the ground is hollow. After bagging another missed treasure, Nate keeps jumping, like a cool youth who's into parkour. While jumping, I wonder how long it takes for Drake to constantly keep resecuring his shirt over his belt buckle in just the right fashion.


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Seriously, it stays like that the entire game


After some more intense man on wall action, we knock a conveniently placed rock onto the hollow bit of ruin, uncovering an entrance. Exciting!


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Unfortunately, the Spanish have picked clean all the gold that would obviously have been in this ruin, because all ancient civilisations apparently pooped gold all over the place. This upsets Sully, who was expecting gold laying practically everywhere, glistening so brightly you could probably see it from space.


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Between the Viagra and the debt payments, Sully still manages to afford expensive cigars


The duo move on, past a chasm using another conveniently (sensing a pattern here?) placed explosive to knock over a pillar to get across. After opening a heavy door, we come across a brazier. Such a brazier looks astonishingly familiar to the brazier sketch in Drake's Journal; the macguffin comes to the rescue!


We use Sully's cigar to light the brazier, which is confirmed as being removable from his face This is perhaps the most interesting thing I've learned so far.


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It comes off! I didn't know it came off!


In either case, lighting the big brazier allows us to burn debris. This takes us to a larger room which involves jumping. Precarious jumping, as it turns out, as some of the handholds crumble away, almost as if it was, like, old. Crazy. Forgive me if there aren't pictures of those sort of events: kinda hard to remember to take an artsy action shot whilst on a crumbling ledge. Another explosive later, another brazier lit, another door opened. While walking about, I do like how 'Tomb Raider' like these settings are. Puzzles, elaborate lighting systems, suspiciously well preserved ruins... I can see why Mr. Carny likes this game so much.

Another room holds another puzzle, which I won't elaborate on because it's probably dull to read about. This reveals a lovely pit of water, which I dive into after raising the water level.


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Ooooo


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You're probably not the only one, Nate


After reuniting with Sully, we meet some perfectly safe scaffolding.


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Nope. Nothing going to go wrong here


Shockingly, I'm proved wrong. Thus begins a lovely madcap timed evacuation reminiscent of a good Crash Bandicoot game. It's only a short hop, but I loved rushing forward while scaffolding toppled behind me. It actually got me in the mood for the remakes of that series, actually. So, good practice, I'm sure.


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A bit of revelation follows in the form of a cutscene. Turns out, El Dorado isn't a city of gold, but actually a man of gold. Which anyone with fluency in Spanish could tell you, but nevermind. Turns out The Road to El Dorado is actually pretty inaccurate.

The Spanish moved the statues using cut logs, so Nate and Sully endeavour to follow the trail. Moving through the underbrush, we come across a pretty stunning vista:


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Most shockingly, there's a mysterious boat that's stranded on the river! Interesting! You might call it... a surprising find. Stay tuned to find out what's on that boat!

[Ayen]

That's my boat!

[Bubba]

Aww man, I remember really struggling on that collapsing bridge on my first playthrough.

I love the bits on the boat in Chapter 3 :D

[Formalhaut]

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http://home.eyesonff.com/images/eoff_smilies//icon2.gif Previously on Formy's Fortune...

We temporarily genre flip into a pretty decent classic Tomb Raider game, only with less dinosaurs. After much tombing, and a hint of raiding, Nate and Sully discover that El Dorado is, shockingly, a golden statue of a man.

They follow tracks from where the Spanish dragged it along to discover a boat jutting out. Well, cool.


Chapter III
A Surprising Find

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Turns out the entire chapter is 'A Surprising Find'. Go figure. Turns out the boat is actually a German U-boat. The chance of Nazi zombies appearing has thus increased by about a third. Nate goes off to explore as Sully finds the entire place 'hinky', which is a term I have literally never heard of until now.


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Sheesh just look at his gritted teeth!


To get on to the U-boat, a delightful climbing sequence happens, which is quite fun and very pretty. Just look at these pictures!


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This is how Drake practices correct defecation technique, isn't it?


After wrecking Nate's manicure, we manage to get on the boat. After collecting another treasure, we enter. It's basically corridor-like, and Nate can only move forward, meaning this game has more in common with FFX and FFXIII than I had previously thought.


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Looks like this place won't be passing the food safety inspection

We see some corpses that have been viciously killed, thus upping the chances of Nazi zombies appearing to 50/50. The presence of Spanish coins and a map tells Nate that the Germans were also looking for El Dorado. The Nazis got the whole 'mysterious artefact' market covered, haven't they?


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Brothers lost at birth?

We leave the boat, but not before blowing it up first like any good American would.


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Take THAT, Nazis!

When we get ashore, unpleasantness happens. Turns out Sully's "I'm in debt, waaaaaah" was a genuine concern. Some guy called Gabriel Roman wants his money back, and was willing to hike all the way to this ass-end jungle to get it.

Priorities!

After some backtalk and passive-aggressive villainous epithets, Sully gets shot and Nate is on the run. Oh snap.


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I'm surprised it didn't take years of smoking and 'performance enhancers' to do his heart in

We bump into Elena a while later, having tracked down Nate and Sully with ease. They're not really known for subtlety, are they?

Thus begins a fairly long combat section making our way out of the ruins. Elena joins us in combat and is pretty handy with a gun. They probably taught her that in journalist training, obviously.


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Not taught: using cover to avoid enemy fire

The combat's fine at this point in the game, with largely sensible cover points dotted around. The only annoying section was the very end, where you're attacked from all sides. Hiding by the door seems to be the best bet.


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This smurfing section

After hijacking a jeep, Nate and Elena get a plane to the island were El Dorado is, and have a great time bonding playing a game of 'guess the facial expression'.


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Almost as if to ruin this moment, anti-aircraft fire scatters them, and they crash. In a whirlwind finale to this chapter, Elena and Nate escape the aircraft, but are split apart on this unknown island.


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There are many 'oh crap' moments in the trilogy, I'm told

Will Nate make it? Has Elena survived? Will Nate ever get a clean shirt ever again in this game? Oh the mysteries! Tune in next time when we explore the mysterious island that has never been charted, not even by Google Maps.

As Nate says:


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[Bubba]

You know what, I've only ever heard the word "hinky" once before. It was in the film The Fugitive when Tommy Lee Jones' character Samuel Gerard is talking to his colleagues whilst waiting for an elevator.

Marshal Biggs: "This is hinky. This guy's a college graduate, he went to medical school, he's not gonna come through all the security, go to the county lockup, to find someone his people say doesn't exist. Hinky."
DM Samuel Gerard: "Well, what does that mean Biggs, 'hinky'?"
Marshal Biggs: "I don't know. Strange."
Marshal Henry: "Weird."
DM Samuel Gerard: "Well, why don't you say strange or weird? I mean hinky, that has no meaning."
Marshal Biggs: "Well, we say hinky."
DM Samuel Gerard: "I don't want you guys using words around me that have no meaning. I'm taking the stairs and walking."
Marshal Biggs: (Whispering) "How about 'bullsh!t'? How about 'bullsh!t', Sam?"

I'm with Gerard, hinky is a terrible word.

I'd like to take this opportunity to say that trying to get a platinum trophy in a Naughty Dog game is smurfing impossible. Good luck if you are attempting it, Formy!

[Formalhaut]

I'd like to take this opportunity to say that trying to get a platinum trophy in a Naughty Dog game is smurfing impossible. Good luck if you are attempting it, Formy!

You see the problem with getting platinum is the 'difficulty' trophies. Smurf if I'm ever going to attempt Hard, Crushing or Brutal. I'm aiming to get all the treasures though, because that's doable.

[Ayen]

You have the soup, but is it a food, a drink or is soup an abstract concept and as such everything we know about soup is wrong?

[Crop]

You have the soup, but is it a food, a drink or is soup an abstract concept and as such everything we know about soup is wrong?

Wtf.



So you still doing this Formy? I enjoy pictured lets plays, especially of games I adore.


I'd like to take this opportunity to say that trying to get a platinum trophy in a Naughty Dog game is smurfing impossible. Good luck if you are attempting it, Formy!

I got the platinum for Uncharted 1 and 2. I didn't for 3 because I bought it second hand and I refuse to pay for online. That black mark in my Uncharted career haunts me.

[Formalhaut]

I am! Chapter Four is pretty big, but I'll probably aim to have it up tomorrow.

[Formalhaut]

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http://home.eyesonff.com/images/eoff_smilies//icon2.gif Previously on Formy's Fortune...

We explore a German U-Boat that has beached itself magnificently in the jungle we were exploring. Turns out they were also looking for El Dorado! With coordinates in hand, Nate exits the vessel, only to find that Sully's debts have caught up with him.

After a pithy exchange with some old white guy called Roman, crap goes down and Sully gets shot. Well smurf. Hijinks ensues, we bump into Elena, shoot our way out the ruins and take a plane to the mysterious island that has never been touched by Google Maps.

Oh no! Anti-aircraft fire! Plane destroyed, Nate and Elena separated! What will happen next?



Chapter IV
Plane-Wrecked


Looking at the guide, there's a full 10 treasures to find. Smurf. This'll be a long chapter. Thankfully, the first treasure is right behind me, and with 20 treasures received, we get some new skins! We can play as Victor Sullivan, and be creeeeeepy. Like a geeeeeezer.

But Nate's our main hero, so we're playing as him. Moving on, we pass by a log bridge we have to cross carefully. I remember doing this section on the PS3, and oh-my-God it was impossible to do with the crappy six-axis. This is much easier.


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As if the complexities of human balance can be condensed into simple tilting of a controller


A few enemies to kill, and I temporarily forget what the cover button was. Thankfully, a tutorial pops up, as if to read my mind. Another bridge later, and we get to play with grenades! It also suffered under the six-axis in the original, so hopefully I can use these more effectively this time. Another good thing I have from all the treasures Mr. Carny hasn't been collecting is the ability to switch weapons on the fly, like the Wess 44 revolver!


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Check out that long barrel!

It looks awesome, but you can't restock on ammo via the rewards system during combat, so the paltry 12 bullet limit is way too unfeasible. Instead, the 60 ammo limit 92FS semi-automatic pistol, which does everything better than the basic pistol.

Next comes a part I remember being very tricky. On my first partial playthrough, I very nearly died, but just about managed to recover and actually got the 'Survivor' trophy at the end. Fortunate.


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This long section

This time around was better, but longer. I was way more cautious, as it was by far the largest gunfight I've been in so far. The jungle environment didn't help matters much either, to be honest. I pretty much stuck to the beginning area like glue, not wanting to overexpose myself my boldly dashing forward. I imagine it would have been thrilling to watch, though it did provide ample photography opportunities.


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Check out that guy flailing majestically!

After a lot of shooting, we do eventually make it to a fun climbing section over a fast-flowing river, which makes a nice change of pace. It's not so long though before we get into shooting again. One guy spectacularly flails over into the waterfall!

Then comes a rather annoying jumping section, which involves me dying twice (the first time so far, not that is any achievement). I kept overshooting the mark when the platform crumbled, the camera perspective playing havoc on my depth perception.


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The fixed angles provide exciting perspectives but limited assistance in actual platforming

After getting through that, a very action-packed sequence involving a truck appears...


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...miraculously forming a bridge. More platforming later, and we come across the plane that was wrecked and retrieve that important bit of paper. After a spectacularly pathetic moment where I die attempt to shimmy down the bloody rope, more enemies appear. Who has the money to pay these guys?


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Combat is still not impossible but is markedly more difficult. My screen turned nearly grey a few times, even on easy. Which probably means I'm very bad at shooters. Poor Nate and his medical bills. After busting down a door, we encounter scary looking man-traps, which look extremely painful. I end up dying not by the traps, but by failing what appeared to be a very easy jump.

Another thing impacting his medical bills is those smurfing rocket launcher enemies, which make their debut just now. Because insta-kill missiles are my jam. I kill the guy immediately, and then scoop up the rest, avoiding traps by moving at a snail's pace.

But the one bit of story to really occur in this entire chapter is at the end. Seems like Elena's in trouble!


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So yeah, looks like we'll be having to climb this thing. But I'm sure Elena's fine... right?

[Bubba]

Yeah, the truck forming a bridge is probably the first major 'suspension of belief' moment in Uncharted. As we all know, there are plenty of those in the upcoming games!

Ugh. I hated those swinging wooden trap things. I remember dying A LOT on my first play through here.

[Loony BoB]

I got Platinum on 2 & 3. I should probably get the other two someday... but... so many games, so little time.

This has been a great read thus far. Keep it up, Formy!

[Formalhaut]

Tomorrow, we go exploring a castle! Stay tuned and get your sturdy boots while we kill even more bad guys and hunt even more phat loot. It's like Borderlands but without the health bar.

[Bubba]

:kakapo:

[Formalhaut]

Ugh, well, the internet crept to a marvellously slow 0.1 mbps for a few hours today, so Chapter Five is delayed until tomorrow. Sorry!

[Formalhaut]

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http://home.eyesonff.com/images/eoff_smilies//icon2.gif Previously on Formy's Fortune...

Fighting. Oh my goodness so much fighting. A spot of climbing there, a dash of treasure-collecting here. But mostly fighting. Pretty much the only story-related event of note was chancing upon a castle where Elena unfortunately landed herself into the viper's nest. Looks like we're going to have to scale that thing!

Chapter V
The Fortress


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Compared to what I've seen you do in 2 and 3, this'll be a breeze


I mean, it is a looooong way down. But at least the view is something else, right? This also provides the first real climbing challenge of the game, and I really had to utilise several skills learnt in the previous chapters to make headway. I remember watching Mr. Carny attempt this section, who struggled with the rope swings.

I was hoping to take some photos worthy of featuring in Mountaineering Monthly, or maybe at least for Mountain Warehouse. Unfortunately, a fixed camera angle makes it impossible to manipulate the camera. So you're just going to trust that Nate is looking badass, even when holding on to dear life.


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Nate's that tiny speck in the centre of frame


Well, scratch that, because the next section does allow to move the camera in photo mode.


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After indulging in my inner pretentious side, we bust throw a window like a boss and head into combat once more. Fairly simple, this. In the interest of balance, here's a photo of Drake headbutting the floor.


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I also get something called a Strange Relic, which I think is based off of something. I think. Looks weird.


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Nate carries on, killing more enemies. There's a nice looking turret which fires in the most predictable pattern ever, making it very easy for Nate, who later finds Elena's parachute. We then see Elena... roaming around a pirate infested castle as if she was filming for a cheesy documentary for the History channel.


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"Aliens."


Nate's dodgy foreign language skills gets him into trouble, which can often happen to the unwary tourist. Unlike most of those situations however, this one can be easily solved by shooting things repeatedly. We also explodify a truck, because blowing things up can be fun and character building.


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"Where's that copy of Lonely Planet when I need it most!"


Those goons we killed opened a gate to get to us. Let's go see where it leads!


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"Crap."


It leads straight into a turret. Mercifully, the turret guy left some explosive barrels near him, almost as if he wanted to die in a horrific, fiery end.


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A bit later, we enter a smurfing pillar room with questionable cover and enemies that love to sneak up on you and attack from all sides. It does provide some good photo opportunities though, so I guess I can't be mad.


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After two 'I'm nearly dead retries', we just about manage to make it to the water puzzle. I'm getting Zelda vibes here for some reason. Though honestly, it's barely a puzzle. Just turning some crank handles to raise the water level. Which leads us to a room, signalling the start of the next chapter!

Next time, The Fortress: Part Two! I'll be merging Chapters Six and Seven together, so stay tuned for a bumper crop of zany hijinks!

[Bubba]

Oh man... the infamous 'Blue Room of Death'. Trying that bad boy on a higher difficulty is just... horrible. Honestly, that room almost puts me off playing the game again. Too many bad memories!

[Formalhaut]

Oh man... the infamous 'Blue Room of Death'. Trying that bad boy on a higher difficulty is just... horrible. Honestly, that room almost puts me off playing the game again. Too many bad memories!

Yeah, that room is awful. The worst part is after you drop down, you're relatively encamped and safe until enemies appear behind you from where you dropped down. Ugh. I didn't die, but my health turned grey enough for me to retry.

You may have noticed my signature changing as I reach a new location. I'm really liking the photo mode.

[sharkythesharkdogg]

Those Strange Relics are a nod to one of Naughty Dog's other big franchises. It's just to make Naughty Dog fans smile because you spent the game collecting them, and now you do kinda the same thing in Uncharted.

They're called Precursor Orbs (everyone calls 'em precursor eggs), and they're from Jak and Daxter. (http://jakanddaxter.wikia.com/wiki/Precursor_orb)

https://camo.githubusercontent.com/6ae484254b3139819478eca54a581e9fa86eeec1/687474703a2f2f7669676e65747465322e77696b69612e6e6f636f6f6b69652e6e65742f7072657474796c6974746c656c69 6172732f696d616765732f662f66622f5468655f6d6f72655f796f755f6b6e6f775f62616e6e65722e6a70672f7265766973 696f6e2f6c61746573743f63623d3230313331323234323333303333

[Formalhaut]

Having just moved house, there is no available wi-fi until the 27th, but I do get some internet connection if I'm out and about. I plan to get chapter six and seven up either today or tomorrow!

[Bubba]

Looking forward to it :D

[sharkythesharkdogg]

It is well past the 27th. :wcanoe:

[Formalhaut]

Apologies! But the Internet hasn't been connected to the apartment yet (it is as annoying as it sounds). Engineers were meant to arrive on the 27th... and never arrived.

From the looks of it, it'll probably the goddamned 16th. I am very​ sorry.

[Bubba]

No probs, man! No internet must be an absolute nightmare.

[Formalhaut]

No probs, man! No internet must be an absolute nightmare.

It really is. :shrug:

[sharkythesharkdogg]

It's fine. I was only joshin' ya.

[Freya]

Oh man I just started this too! I'm about halfway through the fortress. It's my first time playing so this is great!

You have 26 items already! I have 6, damn.

[Formalhaut]

Oh man I just started this too! I'm about halfway through the fortress. It's my first time playing so this is great!

You have 26 items already! I have 6, damn.

To be fair to yourself, I am using a guide for the treasures!

And I finally have internet in my new apartment! Celebrate!

http://66.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lp3o788pro1qgly4jo10_r1_250.gif

Expect a new update either today or tomorrow, adventurers!

[Formalhaut]

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http://home.eyesonff.com/images/eoff_smilies//icon2.gif Previously on Formy's Fortune...

We might as well been on the island, as I was without internet connection at my new apartment for over a month. But if you cast your mind waaaay back to Chapter V, we scaled a fortress, opened a can of whoop-ass on some bad guys and tried to catch up to Elena, who somehow avoided every single hired goon in the goddamned fortress.

Chapter VI picks up pretty much where Chapter V ends, so let's jump straight back into the action!


Chapter VI
Unlocking the Past

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Yup, still searching for her


No sooner than we start the chapter that we get immediately attacked by bad guys.


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They even interrupted the cut-scene, those bastards!


And with the exception of a small chunk of ruin, the only cover is the door. Still, it wasn't so bad, as they didn't all attack at once, following henchmen rule #01: never attack all at once, even if that would give you the advantage.


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There's even time to take some pictures!


After bagging another treasure, we pull yet another crank into a platforming section! To move forward, we have to open this door with the same key symbol as in the journal.


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To achieve this, we naturally have to go the opposite direction from the door to find the mcguffin. After roping it like Indiana, Nate avoids getting crushed and dying of embarrassment (and also crushing).


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This opens the way ever upwards towards the conspicuous tower, which also provides some fantastic photos for Tomb Raiding Monthly.


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We enter the tower, push a skeleton over and nab the key that unlocks the door. Because of course we knew that was where the key was, right?

It's more of a Pandora's Door however, as another turret dude is on the other side.


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Deadly.

I hang back and let my pistol take out the minions. After they're all dealt with, I move in closer for the turret guy and use the ROCKET OF DOOM on him. After mopping up some more enemies (that chose not to participate in the last gunfight), I get to be turret guy for a day and mow down the enemies that soon follow.


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Nate heads down a staircase and soon enough we enter a cut-scene with a revelation: Francis Drake made it to the island after all! Unfortunately, a guy with a shotgun appears soon after to spoil our historical interlude.


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We make it outside and spot Drake's Tower, but there's a problem: a crumbly, not-so-staircasey problem. How will we get through now?


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Climbing, of course! We get through and make it to a pretty little balcony.


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That's the hip holding of appreciation


From it, we see a mysterious city we haven't explored yet, Elena, some birds in the distan- ELENA!?


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Still oblivious to the danger, I see

For once, the pirates are actually aware of her presence. We make the attempt to take out the pirates and save her but some bastard with a ROCKET OF DOOM destroys the lovely balcony we were on and knocks Nate unconscious. Evil!

We wake up in a prison cell, of course. Elena's here to rub salt in the wound and be nothing if not ungrateful for saving her life.


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Go on, just say it.

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.......you thankless ass.


Still, she decides to rescue us using her superior knowledge of historic building materials. She buggers off to do... something.

We're interrupted by Eddy Raja, and it seems he and Nate has some history. We hear some troubling accounts of his men being scared out of their minds. Wow, are we that good? His men can't even piss without cowering in fear of Nathan Drake! Mwhahahaha!


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Fear me, bitches!!

And Eddy should be fearful of Elena too, who promptly busts the jail open with the jeep. After making our escape and pinching the map back from Eddy, we jump straight into the next chapter!


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Well that's one way of opening the door.

[Formalhaut]

Chapter VII
Out of the Frying Pan...

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Well this is exciting! Elena's driving, while Nate is around on the back of the jeep, firing his turret and grenades. This pretty much sums up the entire chapter, to be honest. That, and some wicked bantz between Nate and Elena:


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There's cliffs, apparently.

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We explode many vehicles. What was that fortress hiding, a multi-storey garage? Anyway, at the end of the line, there's a final cliff which traps us against Raja and his men.


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We hoped.

Elena dutifully points out that Eddy is quite crazy. With no where else to go thanks to those damned cliffs, Nate desperately throttles into reverse and falls into the water...


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What will happen? Will we survive? (Yeah, we will).

Tune in next time, while we explore the city that's been looming ominously in the background for the next few chapters!

[Bubba]

I love being turret guy in chapter 6! Mowing down mad guys like there's no tomorrow.

I like the change of pace in Chapter 7 too. Although, I suppose it's just turret guy but on the move. Either way, very enjoyable!

Glad your internet issues are sorted, Formy :D

[Formalhaut]

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http://home.eyesonff.com/images/eoff_smilies//icon2.gif Previously on Formy's Fortune...


We surveyed the last of the pirate fortress, and after a few chapters of searching, managed to find Elena. Disaster struck our hero however, as he got captured by the pirates and came face to face with his enemy-come-acquaintance, Eddy Raja.

Hammy Raja and Nate have a chat over tea and crumpets, with Raja threatening Nate to help him. Good news for Nate however as Elena busts open the jail and the two flee in a jeep. After some on-rails shooting, the two had no choice but to dive off into a (possibly) alligator infested river...



Chapter VIII
The Drowned City

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Quelle surprise, our heroes survive the plunge. We swim off into the city with gunfire still clipping out heels. How bracing! We also have Elena again for the first time since Chapter Three, so I look forward to having her not use cover and get into my line of fire.


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GODDAMN it Elena!


First order of business: dispatching the enemies on the cliff.


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With a fine view of that ass


A few more enemies later, we head a tad deeper into the city. Cue a cut-scene where Elena and Nate bicker like an old married couple.


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Ah, the old 'where are we going' argument


Nate gets cold feet about this whole 'adventuring' business. What gives!


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By my count he's died three times for this


Fortunately, Elena is here to give him a pep talk and go just that little bit further. Footage from her camera indicates a boat that could take them off the island, or delve deeper into its secrets. Deciding to postpone decision-making for now, the two journey on. Ugh, but next we have another vehicle section. On a jetski.

I remember this section from my aborted run a few years ago. I didn't enjoy it. Basically you can move or shoot, which leads to a rather 'stop and start' procedure. Elena has infinite ammo for her MISSILE OF DOOM, but there's a guy someone in this section that also carries one, which is tricky to avoid on a cumbersome machine like this.


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How indeed.


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Fortunately, that guy is dead before he can get a bead on me. After that, we smoothly sail over to the end of this section, complete with exposition via jetski.


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Nate is definitely the Scully in this relationship.

Finally, in a chapter that has had hardly any platforming, we do get a small section to close the chapter to open up a new path via the near ubiquitous handcrank. A few turns of the screw later, and the gate is open for us to...

... you're kidding. MORE wave riding?

[Formalhaut]

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http://home.eyesonff.com/images/eoff_smilies//icon2.gif Previously on Formy's Fortune...

We escaped Eddy Raja's men, only to be captured by an even more threatening enemy: the jet-ski. Confusing, unhinged, hard to control... these are just some of the many similarities between Raja and the jet-ski.

Nathan and Elena explore the Drowned City together, mainly while avoiding eye contact thanks to the jet-ski. Elena posits that an entire colony doesn't just disappear, which is something she probably got off of the Discovery channel, or perhaps in one of her severely understaffed documentaries.

We blast a few pirates with the limitless rocket of doom, with only a brief earthbound trip to open a gate before moving on, once more, into another chapter.

There's more jet-ski, guys.



Chapter IX
To The Tower

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So yes, one more segment on the water. Thankfully, there's not as many barrels, but there is another M-97 guy who always scares the life outta me. Instant kills are not my friend. He was towards the end of this segment though, so until then, Drake and Elena could at least see the sights on their little pleasure cruise.


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How romantic.

To move forward and get off this blasted thing, we had to simply shoot some stone weights to pull up a gate.

As soon as Nathan disembarks, enemies appear. Almost as if they were expecting us. Very convenient. They're even clever enough to use the moss (not the shotgun) to obscure our aiming. Those bastards!


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After a good ol' shootout, I get a trophy! It's called Survivor, and it is awarded after killing 50 enemies without dying. That there is a trophy that congratulates you for not dying proves this isn't my usual game. The music calms and we can do some exploring. At least, after looting corpses and picking up stray bits of ammo everywhere, first.


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Nate clenches his fist in fury that his belt can only accommodate four grenades.

Nate does some climbing for us to get to the next area.


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While maintaining that strange half-tucked look the entire time.

To get past the locked gate, Nate simply climbs to the top of it. Surveying all that he sees, turns out we're in for another gunfight.


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Random weaponry? Check. Rectangular cover? Check. Enemies conspicuously out of view? Check.


There's another red shirted M-97 carrying person in this fight, but luckily there's more cover here than in the open water. There's plenty of cover here, so the battle was fun and thrilling, set against the rather stunning backdrop of the titular tower.


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We enter the building. The inevitable happens.


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Regular mooks are blown away by Drake's manliness!

So to climb this tower, we have to move the chain to a certain position that allows us to climb higher, and also shows of Drake's impressive use of those ever-present hand cranks.


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Clever!

We eventually manage to scale the tower and zip-line (yes, clearly Raja's men set that up or the history books were way off) into the Customs House.


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Just wait until this island becomes a theme park.

Elena's outside, yapping about letting her in. We oblige, which sends us into the next chapter and into new territory. For you see, I never opened the door for Elena in my 'aborted' run all those many years ago, so this is breaking new ground for me. Stay tuned as we explore this building and rush headlong into the double figures.

Oh, and if you're wondering what happens if you attempt to leave Elena at the door and continue on your own?


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Whoops.

[Bubba]

I never thought too much about that half-tucked look that Nate rocks. You'd think it would come all the way out at some point! I was always mightily relieved once the jet ski parts were over. Sometimes I could fly through them but other times it would take me forevvvvvver.

[Formalhaut]

I never thought too much about that half-tucked look that Nate rocks. You'd think it would come all the way out at some point! I was always mightily relieved once the jet ski parts were over. Sometimes I could fly through them but other times it would take me forevvvvvver.

Well, don't celebrate just yet there's still Chapter 12 to come with the jet-ski.