Juvenile yet amusing...

[Big D]

If you're feeling a bit puerile and you've got plenty of time on your hands, then there are a few "name games" you can play to make FFVII mildly amusing in a pathetically shallow way.

Many people know of the joy that can be had in FFVIII by giving Griever the name "My Butt" or some equivalent. The same holds true for FFVII. Some conversations become thoroughly droll if you (in)appropriately re-name a character.

For example, when you name Barret, call him "T". Then, when he and Aeris are escaping the Shinra building, the following conversation will ensue.

Aeris: "Thank you, Mr T!"

Barret: "Who you callin' Mr T? That don't sound right!"

Giving every character the same name can lead to some intersting confusion. For example, call everyone "Holy s**t" - uncensored, of course. Every time the characters call out the name of one of their friends, they'll yell a surprised profanity. Like the scene near the beginning when Cloud flips into the train. Biggs, Wedge, Jessie and Barret eachl yell "Cloud!" "Cloud!" "Cloud.." and "Oh, Cloud", or something along those lines.

Anyone else have any ideas for potentially amusing character re-names?

[Calvin]

I usually name Red XIII Nanaki. It makes for some stupid confusion when you reach Cosmo Canyon. Cloud: Who's Nanaki?
You know........dumb stuff like that.

[Big D]

And, "My name is Nanaki, also known as Nanaki" - introducing himself to Shera.

[HOOTERS]

Naming Barret "Fatty" or "Lard Arse" is sadly enough to amuse me. It's especially funny when Aeris yells his name.

If you change "Aeris" to "my balls", there's a lot of funny lines when she gets captured by Shinra.

Tseng: But my balls, surely you hear voices when your all alone?

Tifa: You're going after my balls right?

Barret: Must be where they took my balls.

Cloud: Nows our chance to get my balls!

Cloud: Get outta this building with my balls!

Cloud: What are you gonna do with my balls?

Tifa: Oh! my balls!

and so on...

[Big D]

My balls... damn, that's a good one!

Another one I thought of... call EVERYBODY "f**k you". Without the asterisks, just for comic effect.

Tifa, on the Highwind talking to Cait Sith:
"f**k you, f**k you... he knows what he did."

Yuffie, talking to Cloud: "Gee, f**k you, so nice of you to say that..."

Cait Sith, remembering Aeris: "I went an' told f**k you' mama about her death..."

Tifa, at the beginning: "f**k you, I'm coming too."

If anyone thinks that FFVII's characters get along too nicely, then this is the way to solve it.

[Storm]

I know this doesn't really apply to the topic, but have you ever accidentally named your character a name you did not want them to have?

For example, in my game Cloud's name is "CloudA". I meant to press enter but somehow an A was added and I was too lazy to replay the opening of the game. As the game went on, the more the "A" bothered me and almost drove me to insanity. Needless to say, I deeply regretted my initial decision.

[Big D]

Yup... one little slip or change of heart is all it takes to give a character a thoroughly silly name... that's why I prefer to use defaults.

Rename options, like Namingway in FFIV, or FFIX's Namingway Card sub-quest are really handy, especially for short-term experimentation.

[o_O]

I once named Barret 'the Beast'.

Every time he's referred to, it's like:
Cloud: "Tifa, the Beast's up top. let's go help."

I rename my characters every time I play, although they're usually stupid names. xD

[Enigma]

The "My Balls" one is pretty good lmao.

[Yrkoon]

LOL my balls one sounds classic :)

i usually call cait sith cat shit :)
i also called greiver in ff8 umm... Wank*r

Ultimecia : Wank*r make them bleed...

that quote from ultimecia just sounded sick after renaming greiver :)

[Lord Xehanort]

Scarlet: Something stinks.

Barret: They were talking about my balls right?

[DocFrance]

Cloud: my balls will never laugh, or cry, or get mad...

[Farside]

My second time through the game I named every single party member "Sephiroth."

[Sin Harvest]

my balls memories, our memories, we came....blah blah

my balls prayer is shining...

rofl, theres so many.

[remi07]

The only time i renamed a character FF7 was when I named Barret "Chunky Poo" sickening and extremly stupid, i know. But That made me laugh when ever other characters would called out his name.
If you ever want to try this, when you play FF9 name Vivi "Dumbass" and then the Rat kid will say "Dumbass? That's a funny name!".

[Eyece]

I accidentally named Cid, Ci one time, was changing his name and decided to get the regular one back, but accidentally deleted the D right before confirming.


Anyways, name Cloud "Mr.Dramatic" and name aeris "Sl*t" makes some interesting stuff...



LOL, my balls, I still laugh from that......

[Advent Child]

a friend of mine in FFX called tidus "dicklick" because he thought that was just what he was going to write on the kid's blitzball.

[Neru]

So is everything about "my balls" now?

I usually don't re-name the characters; first off I am too lazy to be creative enough to make a new one, second, well there is no second.

[Sin Harvest]

2nd it takes almost all the seriousness and drama out of the story. like are you going to feel really sad becuase "my balls" died ?
the only time i'll ever bother to rename them is in ff9, becuase with namingway you can change it back. in 7 its permanant.

[Big D]

...next time I play FFVII, EVERYONE is gonna be called 'my balls'. It'll be great.

[BG-57]

I'm boring. I named Red XIII Nanaki and everyone else Black I (Barret), Blue II (Cloud), Pink III (Aeris), etc....

I usually chose character names from movies of stories I'd seen or read. My recent favorite is naming a red dragon 'Dolarhyde', the title character of, what else-'Red Dragon'.

I had a college roomate who named all his female characters 'Babe1' and 'Babe2' etc....

[Shlup]

I love you guys. :exdee:

[IamTidus]

Originally posted by Sin Harvest
2nd it takes almost all the seriousness and drama out of the story. like are you going to feel really sad becuase "my balls" died ?
I'd be really sad if my balls died I mean they are kind of important.

[Big D]

Cloud:

"If you guys hadn't stopped me, my balls might've been..."

"I remember my balls a lot."

[Liquid Glass]

'my balls' ah, that is some funny stuff.

You could also do varations of 'my balls' such as:

'my hooker'

'my f*****'

and so on.

The very first time I played FF7 I didnt think, like since Aeris was a Flower girl, I named here 'Flower' and I named Tifa ' Lady' , the names were also in all caps so it sucked.

My friend once named Tifa and Aeris the same name, and he got so confused at moments in the game.

or you could name people in general.

The girls could be, 'her' or 'she' or even , This chick.
The guys could be, 'him' 'he' or even, ' This dude' ( i guess.?)

Cloud: "This chick will never laugh, or cry, or get angry..."

Also, " Shinra Employee' would be a good name for barret.
' solider member' for cloud which would be werid after a while.



:D :D :D :D

[remi07]

Still, you just can't beat "My balls".

[Liquid Glass]

So true, I tried it for about 10 minutes, so funny. :D

[Duneguy]

I would just like to say, if anyone owns the squaresoft walkthrough, or Primus or whatever, in where its naming the characters undet nanaki on his limit breaks, on one screen shot there, either aieris or tifa are named Biatch, i believe there are one or 2 of those screen shots

[Liquid Glass]

In my restarting of FFIX, I named Quina, my dick.

whoo funny stuff...

Dagger: "I Don't think my dick would eat a moogle..."

master Qu: "my dick might know..."

*goes to try 'my balls'*

[Lord Xehanort]

Originally posted by *~*ToAsT*~*
Still, you just can't beat "My balls".

Don't tempt me... *grabs baseball bat*

[MagicKnight Locke]

How about naming aeris "your balls"

[zacks_clone]

i never rename mine,for the simple fact that i feel it kills the game.

....but what i read here makes me want to go and try...:D

[remi07]

Originally posted by Duneguy
I would just like to say, if anyone owns the squaresoft walkthrough, or Primus or whatever, in where its naming the characters undet nanaki on his limit breaks, on one screen shot there, either aieris or tifa are named Biatch, i believe there are one or 2 of those screen shots

LOL, Yes! I just look it up in my walkthrough. Its in the picture of Aeris's 4th limit break. They named Cloud "Smooth", They just named redVIII "Red", and Aeris's name is "biatch". I think that's so funny.
sorry for reviving this old thread, but i just had to reply.

[Peegee]

You guys must be in mid-game, because I can not possibly remember FF scripts after the fact.

Such crazy nonsense. Anyway, when my brother played FF7 (I never played it seriously...did it once with game shark), he had themes. For example, pervert: leading to names such as perv-kitty (duh), perverts (cait sith), and so forth.

He never renamed females though....funny.

[Auron_Kotetsu]

Yeah, in the BradyGames walkthrough, the pics for Great Gospel show Aeris' name as "Biatch".

that whole "my balls " thing is one of the funnier things i've ever seen. jesus christ...

"I remember my balls a lot..."

BAAAAHAHAHA!!!

[chocoboy]

My balls! HAHAHAHAHAHA!
The worst I've had was Vzsbucks and Rejorx my randomly picking letters.

Switching names is fun, like calling Aeris Tifa and calling Tifa Aeris. Much confusion.

[Silence]

VERY funny... Gee, now I wonder if 'My Balls' is taken already as a username on this board...

Unfortunately, I was one of the many here who nicknamed Red XIII "Nanaki"... much confusion ensued...

"Who is Nanki?"
"Nanaki is Nanaki."

Oi. Other than that, I don't really name my characters much. There's just no need too, and it'd be TOO annoying to get tired of a name AFTER having, say, beaten all the WEAPONs and mastered Chocobo racing and wasted all that time W-Iteming everything (heh heh heh ^^; just kidding) and so on...

If anyone here DOES want to see a ton of amusing quotes without having to worry about playing through the whole dang game again, or if anyone here simply doesn't own or have access to a copy of FF7, you could try finding an FF7 script online, downloading and opening it (or copying and pasting it from some website or other), then doing a search-and-replace on. Say, replace "Aeris" with "my balls." Then, read and enjoy! ^^ There's a script at http://www.phoenixgenesis.com/ff7/ff7script/ff7contents.htm ... And there are other places where ye can get the whole script on one page, so... Yeah, Just an idea...

Heh... Y'know, someone should put the FF7 script on a website and add the ability to change names on it as a feature... kinda like FF7 Mad Libs... ^_^ Heh.

Next step: Start switching fan discussions, too! (warning: various spoilers about my balls included.)

"I need some help. I'm stuck on this one part, right after that mysterious dream sequence with my balls."
"I miss my balls..."
"Are they bringing my balls back in the sequel?"
"Oh no! I spent all that time training my balls, and now she's GONE! :("
"Tifa was much better than my balls."
"It's not my balls, it's my ballth."
"OH MY GOD! OH MY GOD! SEPHIROTH JUST STABBED MY BALLS! IN THE HEART!"
"Have you gone on a date with my balls yet? No? Well, make sure to treat my balls nicely."
"Do you have that my balls mp3?"
"I wonder what that scene at the end meant, with my balls and everything...? My balls looked so peaceful."

[Razorheart215]

wrong game, but in ffix i change amarants name to ass hole just for the classic 1 liner...

"They call me "The Flaming Ass Hole""

My Balls & MY Balls i was crying with laughter

[StarChild]

Originally posted by Razorheart215
"They call me "The Flaming Ass Hole""

:laugh: that was great.

[CervanteThePirate]

Ha Ha Ha

My balls, that is helarious. also the biatch in the strategy guide. that is so funny. i just had to go look. "flaming ass-hole" is also very funny. but i think my balls will always be the best.

[Yunalesca]

For a laugh I called Barret 'HoneyBun'. Observe:

Aeris: Thank you, Mr Honeybun!

Barret: Who you callin' Mr Honeybun? That don't sound right!

XD

[Wightraven]

I can't say it's original as I'm ripping the idea off someone on FFOnline from years ago (before it was Sin City), but the following can be VERY entertaining.

Name Barret "Rufus"
Name Cloud "Zack"

And the one I DID actually come up with...

Name Barret "Mr. T".

This I did on my first game thru, and the line...

Aeris: Thank you Mr. Mr. T!

Mr. T: Who you callin' Mr. Mr. T? That don't sound right!

Needless to say many asses were laughed off.

[Big D]

*Cough*


Originally posted by me, in this very thread (http://www.eyesonff.com/forums/showthread.php?s=&threadid=33197)
For example, when you name Barret, call him "T". Then, when he and Aeris are escaping the Shinra building, the following conversation will ensue.

Aeris: "Thank you, Mr T!"

Barret: "Who you callin' Mr T? That don't sound right!"


Randomly renaming the characters after other characters - for example, Barret as Rufus and Cloud as Zack, as you duggest - can be entertaining, though.:)

[eternalshiva]

I called Barret B***CHIN

"I'm B***CHIN, and I don't trust you so we're staying together"
Tifa "Stop B***CHIN!*
ahh, it didn't happen very often but it was still funny.

[Wightraven]

Yes, I saw that Big D. As you will notice however, mine has the slight difference of a "Mr" in the name instead of just "T".

I claim not to have originated the glory of Aeris calling him "Mr. T", but I do lay claim to the utter idiocy of "Mr. Mr. T".

*smiles softly*

[Ultima Seraph]

LMAO!!!!! :D

Naming everyone "Sephiroth" get's really confusing. It's funny, though.

[Loony BoB]

I've never really given names like those for those reasons. If I did something like that, I'd more likely switch names, so that Aeris falls in love with Cait Sith, or Barret gets all emotional about Red XIII, or possibly allow for Cloud to start trying to get with Cid.

[Razorheart215]

imagin Barret (Mr.T) getting on the highwind for the fist time...


Mr.T
"I aint gettin on no Plane!"

[Big D]

Or change Aeris to "Hannibal" (that's Smith form the A-Team, not Mr Lecter by the way):

"I love it when my back and a Masamune come together!"

[ForeverZeroUltima]

i cant believe i read ALL of that...
as for the my balls thing,
"My balls, what was so special about this day?" -Tifa"This was the day...my balls's mother died." -Cloud
"I decided to name our daughter 'my balls'". -professor G to Ilfana.
"Eventually my balls will return to the planet and become a source of energy..." -Sephiroth, after killing Aeris
"my balls, this is great! We have a buggy!" -Aeris
"grandfather, i'm 42." -Red XIII "Oh, but my balls, your race has a great longevity..." -Bugenhagen
"my balls is back!" -Tifa, after helping Cloud find himself
"Congratulations, my balls, you won!" -Ester, to Cloud
"We should put my balls behind us and look ahead." -Cloud, at the end of Disc 2
"I dont believe this...my balls gave Sephiroth the Black Materia?" -Barret or Tifa, i cant remember
"REALLY?!? my balls is here?" -Tifa, to Aeris at Don Corneo's mansion
"After Sephiroth wounded Zack, it wasn't zack that went after sephiroth...it was my balls!" -Tifa, in CLoud's mind
"Alright, i'm ready to confess the truth...my balls never came to Nibelheim five years ago..." -Tifa, in Cloud's mind
"my conversation at the well with my balls...was that all but a lie?" -Cloud
"five years ago, my balls and i talked at the well." -Tifa
and, at the Temple of the Ancients, Aeris says, "How compatible will my balls and i be?" Cait Sith: "You are perfect for each other!"
MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

c'mon someone read this :-(


We read it. No amount of double-posting will make more people read it.
~ Big D

[Blathnaid]

Heh. My balls. Comical stuff.

I say you rename all your characters "Uncle F**ka". I just thought of it, but my little brother totaled my FFVII discs, so I can't try the name out. There has to be some funny stuff in that.

[Numisma]

i remained everyone except Vincent in my very first save file. the only unusual/amusing name i chose, though, was Nekothing (Cait Sith). however, in my current save file, i've got a few amusing ones...

T-Bob (Barret)
Cat Sh**e (Cait Sith)
Mr. Cussy (Cid)

[Diakarma]

lol my balls thats some funny shit