n00b branding - yea or nay?

[Strider]

Okay, seeing as there are so many new members to the forums lately, I think it's high time we came up with a way to keep track of them all. As I mentioned in one newbie's thread, I think a special brand for new people might be in order.

Something like this:
http://hometown.aol.com/striderx284/images/n00b%20brand.jpg

Of course, that's only a rough estimation of what the brand might look like, but it's good for starters. And yeah, a hot brand might hurt for those forced to get it, but hey, if it doesn't involve us, it's all good for the veterans, right? I mean, if anyone wanted, they could get a brand even if they didn't need it, like BoB since he always says he's a newbie, anyway.

Or, if a hot brand isn't the answer, it could always be laser-applied or tattooed. It might be more humane that way. . . and then they can pay for the laser removal surgery out of their own pockets if they're strong enough to stick around for a year or so. Or they can live with it, as reminders of their once humble beginnings.

Who's with me?

[eestlinc]

we could just cut off their heads.

[Strider]

They can't post without a head on their shoulders, though. A brand might be slightly inconvenient, but they can still type.

And no brains above their shoulders might lead to more people TLAKING LIEK THIS OMFGWTF LOLZ!!!1111ONE

Is that really what you want?

[eestlinc]

the not posting part solves all problems

[Madonna]

Aw, you'd just trip over them all the time, eest.

I'm not a big fan of being slapped with a hot iron, but I'm really rather apathetic, especially since I'm unsure if I qualify as a newbie.

Of course, you'd have to institutionalize dates too, because some new members might stay around long enough to be considered vets.

[eestlinc]

anyone who puts broken vb code in their signature is a newbie xD

[Madonna]

Haven't a clue to whom you may be referring to. *cough*

[Strider]

If I got Bleys to help, all of you would be screwed.

With that in mind, I could get Mandee or Unne to help. Slightly less sadistic, you know.

[eestlinc]

well I would never suggest such an esteemed member as Genius Lynx could be a newbie. *decapitates*

[Peegee]

They should be made to be sex slaves...oh wait

[Del Murder]

I don't get it. Are we going to eat them?

[Strider]

No, it's just to signify that they're newbies, since there's so many of them lately.

[eestlinc]

as if you can't tell anyway

[eternalshiva]

I'm all for the n00b branding xD *evil snicker*

[Marcus]

Pl33z do n0t HuR7 |\/|e, I iS juSt A l0N3ly n00b, if I h4ve 2 b3 m4rk3d, fine, jUs7 don'7 e4t me!1!!!1!!1!

[eternalshiva]

Do we get to round them up like cattle and brand them with hot pokers?

[Marcus]

That sounds painful, yet somewhat erotic.

[Baloki]

ahhhhhh, noooo, we get rid of one arcanic institution (ie the Sex0ring) and now you come up with something just as sick and twisted to replace it, will you never learn.

One day you people are going to get old and die (maybe not in that order) and your going to need someone to replace you and carry these things on...

[escobert]

yes give em a n00b cutum banner or a sig or somethin.

[Peegee]

Noobs should be made to be slaves for a day

[escobert]

for a day? more like a year or ten.

[Peegee]

I want some pokemon too. Newbies should dress like pokemon for our amusement.

[Loony BoB]

Every newbie should be forced with the below avatar for their first two weeks after registering.
http://forums.eyesonff.com/images/avatars/0/2/chocobo7.gif

[eternalshiva]

no! that's the Loony Bob Av, it would be like ... a travesty if you a million people a day had it. I would get sad :(

[Yamaneko]

I like them. :)

[Psychotic]

El Mariachi is a n00b. :p

Uh... that's all I got to say really.

[Fuzakeru]

Hmmm. Perhaps something more along the lines of dog collars and leashes should be considered. ^_~ Hehe.
Poor newbies. I kinda feel bad for them . . . well, no not really. I'm just thankful I'm not a n00b in times such as these. ^_^

[Loony BoB]

Originally posted by eternalshiva
no! that's the Loony Bob Av, it would be like ... a travesty if you a million people a day had it. I would get sad :(
There's a reason I'm called the Eternal Newbie. xD It has something to do with the avatar that was forced on all newbies back in the day :D? Once you 'levelled up' you got more avatars to pick from. Most people changed their avatar upon levelling up... apart from that one guy!

[Breine]

Originally posted by Loony BoB
apart from that one guy!

That kinda sounds sad :p

[Strider]

That sounds painful, yet somewhat erotic.Ladies and gentlemen, this is all the reasoning we need to make this happen.

[ShiggtyLuffLuff]

er im a very new newbie, but branding sounds like cruel and unusual punishment, i mean dun we n00bs get enough haraissment for just being new?...do we really need more things to make it harder to be a newbie?...*hides* dont poke me with the hot poker of newbie-ness!

[Baloki]

Well, as we the newbie part have just won, BoB should have final say as hes head board honco here, but then that would be fair so thats not gonna happen...

[DocFrance]

I think each new n00b should be given a personal advisor. It is this advisor's job to raise the poor helpless n00b into a productive member of the board. Over the course of the process, the advisor (who shall be henceforth known as the "Hellmaster") will brand his or her n00b in whatever way he or she deems fit.

[Strider]

Aw, come on, where's everyone's sense of adventure?

[Baloki]

Originally posted by El Mariachi
Aw, come on, where's everyone's sense of adventure?

I'm still on my quest to rid the universe of Final Fantasy 10 and 10.2, but thats another story.

Edit: Oh and also to take over the world, this time using giant ice creams.

[Flying Mullet]

But why brand them on the arm? Wouldn't the forehead be much more effective?

http://www.geocities.com/chadmonkey/n00b.jpg

[Strider]

That's brilliant.

[eternalshiva]

I agree with that one Mullet *dies over laughing* I vote for forehead n00b branding xD

[Loony BoB]

For all you newbies: Don't think it's uncool to have an avatar like me. You shouldn't be insulted. Dammit, this avatar was made by Cid himself. You should be honoured. It's not branding, it's putting you on a pedestal!

Really.

EDIT: On a sidenote, from now on, I'm going to allocate random members with over 100 posts to newbie threads.

[Baloki]

oh dear, I think I'm over 100 posts

*shivers*

[Loony BoB]

Just hope you end up with a good one.

I have 343 members with over 100 posts, and they're on a list, and they will be allocated. I don't really know what they're supposed to do after that, but that doesn't really matter anyway. What matters is that IT COULD BE YOU NEXT TIME. *scrambles his list and gets ready for the next newbie thread*

EDIT: And yeah you do, and so do a few other interesting members. I wonder who Award Guy will end up with. Or Election Booth. Or The PC Fascist. Yay! This gives me something to do.

[eestlinc]

haha, I only have 0 posts!

if you draw repo man, you have to reactivate his account

[Loony BoB]

You have 3319 posts.

And repo man didn't make the cut. :(

[eestlinc]

hahah I'm a SPAM KING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I know how repo man can make the cut...

[escobert]

BoB how many do I have? I like the advisor thingy so we can teach n00bs to be cool and I can get a amry of n00bs to do my bidding :)

[Del Murder]

Zero. Everyone has zero. BoB was just joking.

[escobert]

I thaught there was a way to tell though...hmmm maybe not...I dunno

[Yamaneko]

I have *checks* heh, zero.

EDIT: Nope, there's no way of knowing. :) For all I know I've posted more than Unne, The Man, Shlup or Del. ;)

[escobert]

No, I mean the staff could or something I dunno don't listen to me.

[eestlinc]

ok, if you've been here for two or three years, you probably have over 100 posts. Just a guess.

[escobert]

I dunno I dont post very much xD

[Flying Mullet]

Bleys put up a thread that linked to a program that calculates your "worth" here. Whatever formula he used though I have no clue.

Now if I could just find that link...

[Loony BoB]

Anyone can find out their post count if they try hard enough, but let's stay relatively on topic, people.

[escobert]

Yup I vote for n00b advisors.

[eestlinc]

yet the topic was newbie branding.

[escobert]

Well we can brand them and give them advisors >:o

[Giggles]

How're we going to decide which people are noobs and which aren't?

[Madonna]

The ability to have a custom title? I know that'd be nominating myself to be one, but I am one, so eh.

[Strider]

We can institute it for the people who've signed up within the last month, and then continue the process for any other would-be members from here until the end of time.

[eestlinc]

i get Lynx.

[Strider]

Yay.

[La Femme Merekia]

Maybe you can think of an effective slogan, like "You've been noobed" and stick it in their sig or something.

*isn't very creative*

[Heath]

I like this idea... only I can't help but wonder what number I am on that list and how long I have to plot it's downfall.