love issue

[Agrias]

ok i have a problem....last year i asked a guy out..he said no and lets just be friends and just recently we have become friends.......but....i think i still have some feelings for him...now...i'm scared to tell him so i hide it as much as possible....and i'm afraid that if i tell him we'll lose our friendship and he wont think of me that way blah blah blah!!
so.....what to i do.....help?

-agrias-

[TheAbominatrix]

I wouldnt say anything. From what I see of this situation, no good can come of it. He's already said he doesnt feel for you like that, right? If he develops these feelings, he already knows you've had them before, and he'll be more inclined to tell you. As it is, you may just be making a good friendship an uncomfortable hassle by confessing.

[EternalBahamut]

I have to agree, once you play that card it will always be on both of your minds. If it is going to happen, wait for his move.

[Agrias]

what i'm not to sure about though is that he usually has the girl ask him...he doesnt really take the initiative....except for maybe one person he asked out a LONG time ago...
-Agrias-

[Peegee]

Didn't he give you the kiss of death? What happened to all the other cute/hot boys at your school? Is this boy *the* hottest boy at your school? Unless he is, I'm going to ask that you find somebody else.

And if he's not the type to ask a girl out, meh..... << >>

[Tokki Wartooth]

Love is horrible. :(

[Agrias]

i guess.....to me he's the hottest in personality and looks.....there are some hot guys that look at me though....oh well......i guess i should get over it eh? its tough to get over the first person you asked out..or so i've heard..:)

[animee_]

Maybe just starting to think of this guy as just a friend might be the best thing to do. Wasting away thinking if this guy will ever like you more than just a friend is going to be a waste of your time when maybe you could be out meeting new people and making new friends, maybe you will start seeing someone else differently and start having these feeling towards them.

Sometimes friendship can be a more important thing then trying to take things to the next level with someone....

Well this is what I think anyways...

[Del Murder]

Usually when you become more than friends you won't be able to go back. Keep that in mind. It depends on how much you value this friendship and how confident you are.

[Agrias]

ROFL
i'm not very confident:\
-Agrias

[XSabinX]

i have a somewhat similar situation. I know this girl brianna, and she says that she has feelings for me, but she doesn't want to get into a relationship becuase she goes to school and then gets feelings for other guys. Its very messed up. But I mean, she had them before and she still has them, she just doesn't act like it. She dumped me twice, im still waiting for the third. I just love her so much im willing to go through that pain again....and yes love sucks

[Peegee]

its tough to get over the first person you asked out..or so i've heard.

I think it's very different for females, because they're supposed to be the ones deciding on whether to start a relationship (I mean, stereotypically a guy asks the female, so she says yes or no). So being rejected is hard. If you don't like the idea of being rejected just enjoy being single for now. It's not that bad anyway -- guys are dweebs and they aren't cool until they turn a certain age anyway :D

[Shlup]

Wait... You asked him out and he said he just wanted to be friends, so you're asking if you should ask him out again? He said no. He's not the last guy you'll ever meet. Just pick another one.

[Agrias]

but there is no other guy......at elast not one i would want to ask out.....i dunno...i think i'll just stay as the same old single agrias i am right now...maybe its just better that way...askjdflasjfdsajd;lsjagjasghadghal;ksgj...i'm just sooo confused cause these feelings have been coming and going for about a month now and i just...cant deal with it along with everything else thats happening in my life you know? cause...my parents are trying again at the whole marriage thing...and...my mom is unbearable...and...i almost feel like running away,...and my brother moved out..and my friend isnt really my friend anymore cause she lied to me...O BOY!!!ldfjas;lgkjaslgjasl;jgla;sglahgl;k...........thanx for the advice peeps it really helps me:)

[Rainecloud]

Don't worry about it. Love is too expensive anyway.

[Xander]

I don't think you should tell him now, as you said he's already said no and maybe he just wants to be friends. And ShlupQuack's right, pick another one xD I know it's easy to say but you might as well try and move on, you can't *make* people have feelings for you, I've tried enough times.

And besides it's fun being single, you can do what you want!

[Mikztsu]

I think you should tell him. Don't leave any room for "what if/s?". If you have very strong feelings towards, go ahead and see what happens without looking behind.

[Enoki]

Dont tell him, just be all sexy-like and flirt with him until he likes you.

[Mikztsu]

Yeah, that might be a worth to try as well. But if nothing happens, tell him.

[Ultimate_Sandwich]

I think everybody is wrong. Love is more important than friendship. Stop giving bad advice. That's like saying if something upsets you, repress it, bottle it up, and forget about it until it goes away or fixes itself. It will not fix itself and will definately be a future problem.

You must tell this guy how you feel. And hide nothing. Tell him everything, never wonder what could have been. If you two already get along and enjoy each other's company on one level, there is a good chance that he will think of you in a new light if you fully express everything you have to say.

Of course there is always the alternative. He really doesn't feel for you that way. You will be uncomfortable. It may put some strain on the friendship. But it will not be the end of it. Remember one thing: time heals all wounds. Don't believe me? Ask anyone who has suffered in the past if it goes away. Even if it doesn't completely, life goes on and will always return to the point where everything is bearable.

But this is a much better option than never saying anything again. It will hurt whenever you see him, and you will never have the chance at the kind of relationship you desire. What else can I say? Some people waste their lives pondering on the past and think about what they missed out on and what mistakes they have made. I'm not going to let that happen to me. And I wouldn't wish it upon anyone else.

*Dylan

[Agrias]

i really do wanna tell him...maybe by telling him we can find ways to make him look not so sexy in my eyes ROFL:P
i know for sure that i dont want to ...."supress" my feelings..but i keep thinking maybe i should wait just a bit longer cause things may change you know?
ok peoples...keep it coming,lol
-agrias

[Ultimate_Sandwich]

waiting never solved anything. get into the "now" habit. You'll get more out of life. You might just end up "waiting" till he finds himself a girlfriend.

[TheAbominatrix]

It's not 'bad advice'. It's different advice, for sure. Agrias, you really just have to do what your heart tells you. Having been in a similiar situation, I feel it's best not to say anything. You should always do what you feel is right, but just remember you are setting yourself up for a lot of hurt and the possible destruction of this friendship. Yes, friendships do end because of this kind of stuff. He may be very offended that you're starting this again. I had a guy who liked me, and everytime we'd try to be friends he'd ask me out again. It made me insanely uncomfortable and really destroyed our friendship.

So basically, what do you want more? The possibility of a relationship, or the garuntee of a friendship?

[Ultimate_Sandwich]

You casually left out the possibility of a loving relationship.

[TheAbominatrix]

Originally posted by TheAbominatrix
The possibility of a relationship, or the garuntee of a friendship?

I sure did! :rolleyes2

[Ultimate_Sandwich]

oh, yeah, I guess you did. But I added "loving". Sometimes it's just worth the risk if not being with the object of affection is too unbearable.

[Xander]

Ultimate_Sandwich, you say "stop waiting" and do things "now" but everything has consequences.. as TheAbominatrix says you might risk ruining a friendship. And I don't think "love" is necessarily more important than friendship, both should go together.

There's also a saying, if you love something let it go, and if it returns to you, it's yours. You say that he might get another girlfriend. Well if he does then he obviously wants someone else. And if he realises he likes you then I'm sure they will break up. I guess that's kinda me believing that things will be if they are meant to be..but still, this guy is what, 14/15?

I'm not saying people can't feel love at that age, but sometimes people can be immature about it, when I told people at school I liked them I got humilated and it wasn't worth it.

Also, let's not forget that Agrias already told him once. It's not like she never has. To keep asking someone may only annoy them more. If he knows how you feel, then he knows what he can do. If you don't think he does, try some subtle things, like asking him out somewhere or something. I don't think there's any need, at this point, to blurt out "I love you". But of course, it's up to you. =)

[Agrias]

rofl
yea he's 17 i believe,lol.and i'm the 15 year old:)
rofl..yea..i kinda agree with xander...if itll happen itll happen.....blah!! WELL HERE I COME SINGLE LIFE!!I'M HERE TO STAY!!! yay!! now i can flirt ALLLLLLLLLLL i want,rofl
dlakjdflakjsf;..i'm sooo tired.....things i think are finally in perspective, thanx a bunch all of you and if you still wanna duke it out then by all means go ahead but i know what i'm gonna do....leave it at friendship and then we'll see:)
-agrias

[Ultimate_Sandwich]

Originally posted by Xander

Also, let's not forget that Agrias already told him once. It's not like she never has. To keep asking someone may only annoy them more. If he knows how you feel, then he knows what he can do.

Must I mention that guys are stupid? You have to beat them in the face with something repeatedly before they realize what they "can" do. Or what they should do, or even what they want to do. My current girlfriend had to practically drive a truck over me before I figured out we should try being together. And she STILL had to ask me out. Like, I knew she liked me, but I was just a dumbass guy without a clear path or direction. Never mind my dumbass story about taking her to "8 mile" and not even making out, despite her desire to do so throughout the ENTIRE movie. Once again, I needed to be hit with a sack of bricks because it took her inviting me to her house and another two hours of my dumbass non-action before things started to happen.

Girls are stupid too, but in different ways. But us GUYS--you have to blast your thoughts into our face via loudspeaker before we get it. Maybe this guy doesn't yet see you as a "real" possibility. That's how I blew my chance with plenty of girls... over... and over...

So, Agrias, I see you've come to a decision contrary to my advice, but it is always up to you. I still suggest making the possibility of you two more of a "real" idea to him. Once he pictures the reality of it all, things may change. Just assume he is a dumbass. He may be smart (like me) but still a huge dumbass (like me). And he will not do anything on his own. Because he is a dumbass. And it wouldn't hurt to show some cleavage! (j/k :))

So yeah, we are all a dumbass. Just smack him in the face a bit. If that doesn't work, throw a brick at his head. Because, man--what a dumbass we are. At least I am.

*Dylan