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Dr Unne
04-15-2004, 10:37 PM
I have noticed that 99.9% of the time when someone asks for help with a computer problem, it will be something like this.

"I was sitting at my desk. It was 2:34 PM, and it was raining outside. I remember hearing a dog bark twice... no, three times, and the sound of wind rustling through the trees outside was just barely discernable. I was reading a book (page 247), and I put it down on the near-right corner of my desk, so that I could use my computer to check my email. You see my friend said he'd email me 3 days ago, and I wanted to check for it; I hadn't checked my email for at least 2.4 hours. So I casually flipped the "ON/OFF" switch on my computer and monitor, and waited 23-24 seconds while my computer booted. I spied my desktop wallpaper, a delightful political cartoon of some sort, and chuckled inwardly as always. Utilizing my mouse device, I navigated the on-screen pointer to the tiny icon representing my email client program. With a slight pressure from my right index finger, I depressed the left button on said mouse, causing the email program to activate. My computer, realizing my anticipation, transformed said on-screen cursor into a cheerful animated hourglass figure, to reassure me that though a slight delay was necessary, soon I would be treated with the email client program I requested.

Then, some error message came up I forget what it was now my computer's broken help me."

If there's one lesson I could teach the world, it would be that ERROR MESSAGES TELL YOU WHAT THE ERROR IS SO FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THINGS HOLY WRITE IT DOWN WORD FOR WORD BEFORE YOU ASK FOR HELP. Discuss.

Hedgy
04-15-2004, 10:40 PM
Too true. Sometimes the error messages are so obscure, you have to write them down before you forget what they said.

crono_logical
04-15-2004, 10:40 PM
Yes, I think I've been getting annoyed at people not actually saying anything relevant when asking for help lately :p

Kirobaito
04-15-2004, 10:40 PM
You're pretty mad with Dixie, aren't you?

Dr Unne
04-15-2004, 10:43 PM
No, not mad, just generally bewildered. Not at Dixie, more like everyone in my family, the vast majority of my friends, and the vast vast majority of everyone I've ever seen post a computer problem on the internet.

Kirobaito
04-15-2004, 10:45 PM
So it's just a coincidence that nearly everything that you just complained about is strikingly similar to Dixie's thread, except I think the dog barked four times in her thread.

Flying Mullet
04-15-2004, 10:46 PM
Unfortunately most people don't realize that the computer is giving you valuable information or that what you were doing on your computer when the problem occured is helpful information as well.

Loony BoB
04-15-2004, 10:47 PM
I only got up to the point where you said "email client" and thought you were going to finish up with "WHAT EMAIL CLIENT?!"

But yeah, when I got to the error bit, I figured you'd say that too. :P

Bernhard
04-15-2004, 10:49 PM
I figure it's not worth getting all worked up about.

Levian
04-15-2004, 11:00 PM
I find error messages that don't make any sense more annoying.

Yamaneko
04-15-2004, 11:10 PM
Can you still help me with any Gentoo problems that will arise when I finally install it? :D

crono_logical
04-15-2004, 11:19 PM
Can you still help me with any Gentoo problems that will arise when I finally install it? :D
Yeah, use <pre>su</pre> to become root, <pre>cd /</pre> then type <pre>rm -rf *</pre> to remove anything that could potentially give you problems :p

EDIT: Don't try this at home, kids :p

Also, for fun reading, http://www.geocities.com/ResearchTriangle/Facility/4118/misc/rm.html

Misfit
04-15-2004, 11:21 PM
... I was sitting at my desk. It was 2:34 PM, and it was raining outside. I remember hearing a dog bark twice... no, three times, and the sound of wind rustling through the trees outside was just barely discernable. I was reading a book (page 247), and I put it down on the near-right corner of my desk, so that I could use my computer to check my email. You see my friend said he'd email me 3 days ago, and I wanted to check for it; I hadn't checked my email for at least 2.4 hours. So I casually flipped the "ON/OFF" switch on my computer and monitor, and waited 23-24 seconds while my computer booted. I spied my desktop wallpaper, a delightful political cartoon of some sort, and chuckled inwardly as always. Utilizing my mouse device, I navigated the on-screen pointer to the tiny icon representing my email client program. With a slight pressure from my right index finger, I depressed the left button on said mouse, causing the email program to activate. My computer, realizing my anticipation, transformed said on-screen cursor into a cheerful animated hourglass figure, to reassure me that though a slight delay was necessary, soon I would be treated with the email client program I requested.

Then, some error message came up I forget what it was now my computer's broken help me.

MecaKane
04-15-2004, 11:29 PM
Misfit: Uninstall :p Windows and use :p Linux :p

Misfit
04-15-2004, 11:32 PM
thx :tongue:

Peegee
04-15-2004, 11:38 PM
I installed lycoris and rebooted. It gave me that error that it gives when the computer doesn't have an operating system installed. What do I do?

crono_logical
04-16-2004, 12:04 AM
You forgot to install Allsorts.

The Man
04-16-2004, 12:06 AM
I find error messages that don't make any sense more annoying.
likewise.

but yes, people should give you more information when they ask for help about computer problems.

DMKA
04-16-2004, 12:15 AM
You know I installed Linux and the most time my comp ever went without a storm of errors was 5 minutes, 12 seconds...I timed it with a stop watch even, because it just astonished me how it just crashed all the time...I thought Linux was supposed to be not-as-bad as Windows ME, but thats not the case...so I went back to Win ME...

Anywho, yeah, I see this happen all the time on the net too...its annoying that people I guess think that theres all-knowing computer phsycics out there to solve the problems that know one knows cause they didn't bother to read a sentence or two -___-.

Peegee
04-16-2004, 12:26 AM
You forgot to install Allsorts.

explain pls

crono_logical
04-16-2004, 12:48 AM
If you don't have Licquorice Allsorts in the USA, I can't explain :p

Meat Puppet
04-16-2004, 03:39 AM
But don't you need more detail what the user was doing prior, for example the vibration from the dogs bark could've caused the error to come. That would give the clue it must be email program error 40056 dog barking 2wice, or maybe 3rice.

I really wish it were true :cry:

Peegee
04-16-2004, 03:44 AM
How do I get it? Why are you being mean to PG?

xD

Big D
04-16-2004, 07:04 AM
PG, if you install Liquorice Allsorts in the traditional way, all computer-related problems will either disappear or pale into insignificance. Liquorice Allsorts resolve all kinds of internal errors whilst simultaneously providing a system-wide sense of wellbeing.

Peegee
04-16-2004, 10:01 AM
I don't appreciate your joking. I am mad. *storms out of the forum*

xD

You guys are mean :moggie:

Baloki
04-16-2004, 10:55 AM
Here is what I call the classic error screen:


#0023ME82 has called an invalid exception error in Windows.

Press enter to return to Windows or Ctrl + Alt + Del to restart

Why the F*** bother including the command press enter to return to windows when its clear from the error there is no windows to return to?

Stupid Blue screen of death.

//Quote taken from Windows ME start-up error message #003

Meat Puppet
04-16-2004, 12:12 PM
I regret upgrading to XP and leaving those blue screens behind. There was something comforting in them which I just can't finger. Put my finger on.

Loony BoB
04-16-2004, 01:01 PM
Yeah, use <pre>su</pre> to become root, <pre>cd /</pre> then type <pre>rm -rf *</pre> to remove anything that could potentially give you problems :p

EDIT: Don't try this at home, kids :p
So they should try it at work or school?

Peegee
04-16-2004, 02:03 PM
Student: Sir, what would happen if I typed "deltree *.* /y" in c:\ ?

Teacher (also system admin of HS): what would happen is I would kill you

xD This exchange actually happened. Thanks for reminding me!

crono_logical
04-16-2004, 03:26 PM
Yeah, they can try it at school or work :p The sysadmin would be the stupid one for letting them be root though or giving them the root password so it works :p

Citizen Bleys
04-16-2004, 03:33 PM
I dunno, users can't be as stupid as computers themselves.

Examples:

No keyboard detected. Press F1 to continue

New Hardware found: Unknown Hardware
Windows is now installing the software for your new hardware

(I suppose that would be Unknown Software)

Dr Unne
04-16-2004, 07:30 PM
<i>I dunno, users can't be as stupid as <s>computers themselves</s> Windows.</i> --Bleys

Yamaneko
04-16-2004, 10:59 PM
Windows isn't stupid. Just don't ever touch it and everything goes perfectly.

Baloki
04-17-2004, 11:13 AM
<i>I dunno, users can't be as stupid as <s>computers themselves</s> Windows.</i> --Bleys

I don't know why Dr. Unne just doesn't have done with it and make his sig a link to some Linux site where you can download a Gendo (or whatever their called) and make the links letters ten foot high, it would save him massives of time and effort.

Oh and another classic is No mouse detected, please click the OK button to continue.

Mr. Graves
04-17-2004, 02:53 PM
I'm going to post a thread in 'Help' because my control fails to work all of a sudden and conveiniently, no Windows message pops up saying why.