Permit me to guide you...

[Citizen Bleys]

Proto's thread about stopping all of the newbie sex0ring made me think a little...If pr00t can tell you what to do, choosing something highly unlikely, perhaps I should try as well? And then I thought, well, what should I order the people of Eyes On Final Fantasy to do, or cease doing? I considered several options, weighing each in terms of the amount of good it would do for the community, from instituting a "let's eat rat" day to making proper spelling and grammar mandatory. And then...only then, did I realize something terribly important: This community means about as much to me as a festering bowl of dog snot! You think I care about the pea-brained yokels of this place? If you took their combined IQ and multiplied it by 100, you might have enough intelligence to tie your shoe--if you didn't drool all over yourself first! I can't stand those snivelling maggots--they make me want to puke! But there is one good thing to preaching to a forum full of mindless sheep: I always know I've got them exactly where I want them.

I'll give a hug to anyone who can guess what movie I just finished watching...Well, no not a hug. I don't hug. Settle for a boot to the head?

[Dragonflame]

I have no idea...can I have a boot to the head anyway?

[Citizen Bleys]

OK, but I should warn you that by "head" I actually meant crotch.

*boot*

[HOOTERS]

Rugrats In Paris? Rugrats on Ice? Something with Rugrats.

[Ouch!]

"To my dear sister [insert name here I forgot what it was]..."

"Oh, Author, he's too kind..."

"I decree... a boot to the head."

[Citizen Bleys]

Ah, Zaphier, thou art a scholar in this day and age.

[Linus]

http://loonybob.homestead.com/files/little.gif It sounds very familiar. Beauty and the Beast?

[Citizen Bleys]

http://loonybob.homestead.com/files/little.gif It sounds very familiar. Beauty and the Beast?

Something quite similar, I reckon.

[Ouch!]

Yeah, I just listen to my friend's Doctor Demento CD. Good stuff, I should probably get it from him so I can burn it.

[Linus]

http://loonybob.homestead.com/files/little.gif Oh, I know! The Little Mermaid!

[Citizen Bleys]

Yeah, I just listen to my friend's Doctor Demento CD. Good stuff, I should probably get it from him so I can burn it.

Oh, you mustn't burn it. That would cause it to melt.

[Yamaneko]

You never told us what to do. :(

[frr_vegeta]

Barely legal boys vol. 3?

[Ouch!]

Oh, but of course, such knowledge could only come from the mind of Citizen Bleys.

[Citizen Bleys]

You never told us what to do. :(

I can tell you where to go and how to get there, if you want.

[Yamaneko]

Ok.

And I was going to make a porn reference, but this is Bleys we're talking about and I wanted to stay away from the obvious.

[Citizen Bleys]

Ok.

OK, here we go.

You need to go to the Pumphouse Brewery. From here, you head north down Wilson Road, and hang a right on Coverdale. Follow Coverdale until you hit the bridge, and then cross it (which should take you north again). Follow Albert street until you hit the Co-op and take a left until you hit Main. Go up Main until you hit the Royal Bank, and then park, since you need to be on the other side of the street (You can't just make a U-turn to get back westbound, since the Pumphouse is on Orange Lane, and Orange Lane is a one-way street).

Walk back west until you hit Orange Lane--The Pumphouse is on the east side of the street.

[frr_vegeta]

What should we do once we get there?

[Ouch!]

Did you just come up with that off the top of your head?

[Citizen Bleys]

What should we do once we get there?

Eat ****

[frr_vegeta]

Did you just come up with that off the top of your head?
That's were everything that man says comes from.

[Del Murder]

Welcome back, Bleys.

[HOOTERS]

We have a place called Pumphouse too but it isn't a Brewery. However you still need to be over age to reek the benefits within. :smash::smash:

[Madonna]

*shudders* It came out his head, let's just say.

[Citizen Bleys]

I never left, Del.

[Shlup]

I don't think I like this thread very much.

[Citizen Bleys]

I'm so bitterly disappointed that nobody's recognized the R.J. Fletcher quote, no matter how obvious I made it. What, can't I drop a broad enough hint for you people? Am I totally incapable of communicating the simplest of things? I JUST DON'T KNOW WHAT'S WRONG WITH MEEEEE!

So what's for dinner?

[Agent Proto]

Macaroni and cheese. Enjoy!

[frr_vegeta]

So what's for dinner?
A hot plate of angst.

[Citizen Bleys]

A hot plate of angst.

Again?

Time to hire a new cook.

[Shlup]

Remember that one time there was that crack and you smoked it and then they said to stop smoking the crack and you cried and cried and cried but then you said okay no more crack and you stopped.

You LIED!

[Citizen Bleys]

So that's why my pants are on fire!

Thanks! That was bothering me, but now I know.

[Yamaneko]

We aren't a collective mind, Bleys. Your crazy thoughts and ideas do not transgress time and space to reach every living soul on earth. This isn't hell.

[Citizen Bleys]

Isn't it?

[frr_vegeta]

We aren't a collective mind, Bleys. Your crazy thoughts and ideas do not transgress time and space to reach every living soul on earth. This isn't hell.
That statement can be contested.

[Linus]

http://loonybob.homestead.com/files/little.gif I've died and gone to EoFF. ;_;

[Citizen Bleys]

So this would be a bad time to let you know that the death part was optional, I take it?

[Agent Proto]

Linus is stuck at Intenet purgatory for eternity!!

[frr_vegeta]

Linus is stuck at Intenet purgatory for eternity!!
We'll miss him I'm sure. :choc:

[Linus]

http://loonybob.homestead.com/files/little.gif Don't say Purgatory! I miss that little tyke.

[Calliope]

Yeah, me too.

[Kirobaito]

I still cry about Spatty at night. Him, and Snizz.

[Fisticuffs]

*records the tangent on the club agenda, and moves on*

Oh, and Bleys--I can't remember the title, but I remember it having to do with a certain frequency of television reception. Local cable, if I recall properly.

The real question, however, is...will you go with your RED SNAPPER, or the box that Hijo-san is carrying down the aisle right now?

[Doomgaze]

I believe you are thinking of UHF, Fisticuffs. I'm sorry, I don't know if that's what Bleys is referring to, I haven't seen it since Clinton's first term.

[Citizen Bleys]

About bloody time somebody guessed it.

And re-reading that thread...boy, oh boy was I ever drunk last night.

[Erdrick Holmes]

UHF is the funniest movie ever made by mankind.

[Baloki]

OK, but I should warn you that by "head" I actually meant crotch.

and nobody made the Bleys crotch joke, I'm soooo proud of you all *huggles*

[Dr Unne]

<i>OK, but I should warn you that by "head" I actually meant crotch.</i> --Bleys

NEVER COMPLAIN ABOUT PEOPLE MAKING CROTCH JOKES EVER AGAIN. You my friend have just signed up for 10 more years of them.

[Baloki]

I wasn't complaining but after a post like that from Bleys I expected it, so I was just proud at the self control, but I can go back to thinking your all rabbits or something if you want?

[Ouch!]

::snigger:: Bleys's crotch. ::immature giggle::

[Flying Mullet]

Damn, again I missed the memo that everyone has to do what Bleys says and respond to all of his threads. :(

[bennator]

Why did bley's crotch cross the road?

[Madonna]

So it'd make it to its photo shoot, after which someone made it into a wallpaper.

[Psychotic]

There was a man who had a crotch and Bleysie was his name-o!

B-L-E-Y-S! B-L-E-Y-S! B-L-E-Y-S! And Bleysie was his name-oooooo!

[Baloki]

:eek: Bad dogs, BAD :cry: *Sprays Psy, Lynx and Ben with water from a spray bottle*

I was soooo proud...

[Citizen Bleys]

NEVER COMPLAIN ABOUT PEOPLE MAKING CROTCH JOKES EVER AGAIN. You my friend have just signed up for 10 more years of them.

*middle finger*

This was a generic comment, not running an old, tired joke into the ground for sixteen thousand years after it has been thoroughly bled of all humor value.

You don't think repetition makes things annoying? I challenge you to watch Ace Ventura, Pet Detective three times a day for the next year, and then tell me you don't find Jim Carrey annoying.

[frr_vegeta]

You don't think repetition makes things annoying? I challenge you to watch Ace Ventura, Pet Detective three times a day for the next year, and then tell me you don't find Jim Carrey annoying.
That's something only you are capable of.

[Ouch!]

I don't know Bleys, I still find it pretty amusing.

[Kirobaito]

You don't have to know Bleys to know Bleys' crotch. :p

[Del Murder]

Allllllllllllllllllll righty crotch.

[Yamaneko]

Must've been in the director's cut.

[Agent Proto]

Cram it Proto, into Bley's crotch...

:cry:

[Kirobaito]

You can download the Bleys' Crotch version of Ace Ventura on Kazaa somewhere, I forget where. I downloaded it about a month ago. :p