Hypothesis: All Keiths are awesome.

[-N-]

I have been formulating such a theory in my head for some time, and recently I have found some evidence external to my own that confirms the hypothesis stated above. I submit collected evidence so far.

1. Keith A.: One of the best guitar players I know. Can play ANY Zeppelin, ANY Hendrix, ANY RHCP, and god dammit, that's good enough for me. But here's more: advanced composer and soon-to-be-released songs coming.

2. Keith S.: A really goofy and fun-loving guy, this Keith is taller than me (a rare feat). A premier skydiver, and someone who can have fun without drinking (always respectable).

3. Keith M.: One of my best friends when I was in elementary school, this Keith also introduced me to the Final Fantasy series. Now that is something awesome.

It is urgent that you respond with any supporting or dissenting evidence you may have to this hypothesis, so that it may be reviewed appropriately before it's submission to the Alfred Nobel Committee.

You have the once-in-a-lifetime chance to contribute to a high-profile research study. Do not make the mistake of passing this golden opportunity to get your name published and respected across the globe and across many fields by its respected practicers.

Thank you for your time and help with this monumental effort.

Sincerely,
N
Director of Research and Development
Crazy Theories that are Correct Department

[Kirobaito]

*clears throat*

I present to you..."Keith."

Resembling Ken Jennings slightly in appearance, he has set a record for Jeopardy! on the computer game (created in the 80s, mind you) for winnings on the computer of one Casey Daniel Graham. He recently dominated his sister, winning 40,000 to -1600. This man is surely a god of some sort, as his brilliance masters all. This is a cool Keith, for sure.

[fire_of_avalon]

My Keith is a Keith M too. He draws me fun pictures of me riding octopi and talks to me about relationships and music and cars and all sorts of things. I love my Keith because he loves me. Keith is awesome.

[Kirobaito]

Oh, yes, and I must mention that The Keith Conspiracy is sponsored in full by #trivia, a subsidiary of Chatroom Awareness More Than a Week.

[Del Murder]

I have never known a Keith. I suck. :(

[TheAbominatrix]

I must destroy this theory with the case of Keith Hitler... I mean... Hiller... who was a liar and very mean person most especially to our favorite admin, ShlupQuack. He is the devil.

[DMKA]

This is kinda like my theory that all Anthonys are assholes...I've yet to see it proven wrong.

I've only known one dude named Kieth in my life and that was a classmate of mine in 4th grade. He was pretty cool, I guess. Hes the one student I can remember in that class who never did anything mean to me/made fun of me/lied on me, ect...well, besides my friend Nathan(yeah, 4th grade was baaaaad for me :cry: ).

[-N-]

Oh, yes, and I must mention that The Keith Conspiracy is sponsored in full by #trivia, a subsidiary of Chatroom Awareness More Than a Week.

Yes. For more information, contact myself, KB, FoA, CloudDragon, Jebus, or just go in the freaking channel.

[fire_of_avalon]

TheAbominatrix, your Keith is just a fluke. He wasn't supposed to be called Keith. He just had an uncle named Keith who was so cool, his parents decided the name must live on, but gave it to their most evil offspring because of a drunk fortune teller.

[-N-]

I must destroy this theory with the case of Keith Hitler... I mean... Hiller... who was a liar and very mean person most especially to our favorite admin, ShlupQuack. He is the devil.

Thank you for your submission. Unfortunately, due to the proximity of this Keith's last name with that of an infamous mass murderer reclassifies this Keith not as a Keith but as a Hitler. Therefore, I'm afraid this case is inapplicable to the theory. Thank you, and please continue submitting more evidence to us in the future.

[Del Murder]

This is kinda like my theory that all Anthonys are assholes...I've yet to see it proven wrong.

:(

[chichi]

My mums husband is called Keith- I can't stand him....

[Kirobaito]

The evidence supplied is inconslusive to non-awesomeness. We will get back with you at a later time.

- KB
aka Kirobaito
aka King Bahamut
aka Kiro
aka Hey You

[Shlup]

Not a chance. My last boyfriend was a Keith. I don't know why I even associated myself with such a superficial ass. :p

[Kirobaito]

Shlup, we've had this discussion. We have formulated 2 different responses:

Your Keith is just a fluke. He wasn't supposed to be called Keith. He just had an uncle named Keith who was so cool, his parents decided the name must live on, but gave it to their most evil offspring because of a drunk fortune teller.

Thank you for your submission. Unfortunately, due to the proximity of this Keith's last name with that of an infamous mass murderer reclassifies this Keith not as a Keith but as a Hitler. Therefore, I'm afraid this case is inapplicable to the theory. Thank you, and please continue submitting more evidence to us in the future.

[Storm]

My cousin Keith is a psychotic Canadian army man who's only words to me the last time I saw him were "Man, I'm gonna drink so much tonight I'll end up passed out face first into the ground."

Keep reaching for the stars, Keith.

[Kirobaito]

We must add that to our evidence file, then, Storm. Thank you for your submission. We will be sending your contribution payment shortly.

[Leeza]

I have a nephew named Keith and he's quite awesome. He likes Marilyn Manson as well as Stephen King and we get along just fine. :)

[Shlup]

Shlup, we've had this discussion. We have formulated 2 different responses:

Your Keith is just a fluke. He wasn't supposed to be called Keith. He just had an uncle named Keith who was so cool, his parents decided the name must live on, but gave it to their most evil offspring because of a drunk fortune teller.

Thank you for your submission. Unfortunately, due to the proximity of this Keith's last name with that of an infamous mass murderer reclassifies this Keith not as a Keith but as a Hitler. Therefore, I'm afraid this case is inapplicable to the theory. Thank you, and please continue submitting more evidence to us in the future.Okay, you win. His last name was Hiller. For my 16th birthday we went to the Museum of Tolerance and when he signed the guestbook I tried so hard to cross the first "l" but he literally dragged me out of there.

He's also one of those gays now.

[nik0tine]

i sort of knew this keith in elementary school. i rmemeber him being quite moronic and i really didnt like him. this proves your theory wrong.

"He's also one of those gays now."
whats wrong with gays?

[Shlup]

"He's also one of those gays now."
whats wrong with gays?Nothing when they're not taking my sweet virginity! That freaking bastard...

[fire_of_avalon]

i sort of knew this keith in elementary school. i rmemeber him being quite moronic and i really didnt like him. this proves your theory wrong.

As the final representative of Keith-like Awesomeness who is awake and posting, I feel it is my duty to inform you that we here at Keith-like Awesomeness Labrotories once again find this evidence to be inconclusive. You only "sort of" knew this Keith. You had had neither the time, nor the ability in your youth to delve into the Awesomeness of this Keith. However, your testimony does further our Keith/Awesome research, and your contribution is greatly appreciated.

[Yamaneko]

The Keith I know 's got no satisfaction.

[Rainecloud]

The only Keith I know of is a failed television presenter.

I don't know any Keiths on a personal level.

[Citizen Bleys]

Let us not forget Mr. Alexander Keith, father of the greatest India Pale Ale on Earth and former Mayor of Halifax.

Those who like it, like it a lot.

[War Angel]

I know a Keith. He's the administrator of a forum I go to, and he's a really cool, sweet guy.

[HOOTERS]

I don't know any Keiths but...


My cousin Keith is a psychotic Canadian army man who's only words to me the last time I saw him were "Man, I'm gonna drink so much tonight I'll end up passed out face first into the ground."


...this one seems pretty cool. If you forget about the Canadian part. :smash:

[Rye]

What about Keith, from season two of American Idol? He sang Madonna's - Like a Virgin and he wore the green sweater which he kept on stroking. xD

http://www.searchforjobs.net/images/keith.gif

[RSL]

The only Keith I know drives this car:

http://www.carrotmaster.com/images/racing/schmitz.jpg

He is pretty awesome, I guess. I talk to him on occasion.

[Shoeberto]

Okay, you win. His last name was Hiller. For my 16th birthday we went to the Museum of Tolerance and when he signed the guestbook I tried so hard to cross the first "l" but he literally dragged me out of there.

He's also one of those gays now.
Kinda funny, I know an ass with the last name of Hiller and when I had access to his writing files (the one that you have all throughout your formal education) I did the same. People with last names of Hiller must just be that way.

I don't know any Keiths personally, though I intend to find one and worship him as a king.

[Cz]

The only Keith I know of is a failed television presenter.

Keith Chegwin's hardly awesome, I agree.

Still, it seems all other Keith's rock, so he must be the lone exception.

[TasteyPies]

I'm a Keith.

So that automaticly proves the theory right. :greenie:

[SeeDRankLou]

This is similar to my theory that all Chad's are evil. :D

I know a several Keiths. Quite a few of them are good guys, but not all of them, definately not all of them.

[Dr Unne]

http://www.absoluteanime.com/voltron/keith.htm

[-N-]

The Keith I know 's got no satisfaction.

Mr. Richards is an excellent example. Thanks, Yams.

So is Voltron. Thanks, Unne.

Can you really say you KNOW Mr. Chegwin, folks? Please, we're trying to gather close associations you may have with any Keiths, such as Yamaneko <=> Keith Richards and Unne <=> Voltron.

[Mr. Graves]

I've never known a Keith.

This reminds me of my theory that everyone with facial hair has more outward hatred than people without. I've seen very few cases where this has been proven wrong. (As in, seeing someone with facial-hair being genuinely kind.)

[Jebus]

This is similar to my theory that all Chad's are evil. :D


I know two Chad's and they both kick ass. (One of them helped me build my computer, and the other just kicks ass)

Keiths though. I can't say. Never met one.

[Meow]

The Keith I know 's got no satisfaction.

There is a certain delicious cavalier <i>joie de vivre</i> to the ol' "If you don't get it, inject it" lifestyle.

One particular Keith lays claim to the <a HREF="http://207.198.96.120/cgi-bin/sefer/sefer.cgi?display:980084397-1362263.txt" target=_blank>ultimate recipe</a> for a tried-and-true culinary delight.

[Kami]

Would I name my kid Keith?

[Mo-Nercy]

This is similar to my theory that all Chad's are evil. :D
The Chad in Need For Speed Underground is an evil bastard.

I know one Keith. He's the best volleyball player in school. Plays for the state as well. That's enough to get my respect.

[Kirobaito]

Flying Mullet is a Chad. Just make your own assumptions.

[Citizen Bleys]

This reminds me of my theory that everyone with facial hair has more outward hatred than people without. I've seen very few cases where this has been proven wrong. (As in, seeing someone with facial-hair being genuinely kind.)

Yeah, especially those bastards Red Green, Raffi, and Bram. (Y'know, Bram, from Sharon Lois and Bram, the ones who do that skin of a wrinkly dink song?)

[Mr. Graves]

Erm....who??

(=P)

[Heath]

Keith from The Office was cool. *nod*

[Citizen Bleys]

Red Green: http://www.redgreen.com/images/scrapbook/red_green/red.jpg

Raffi: http://www.generationgreen.org/images/raffi.jpg

Sharon, Lois, and Bram: http://www.liveandlearn.com/pics/slbsinga2z.jpg

[Mr. Graves]

Yeah, I remember Bram from waaaay back on TV. I was just a toddler. The others I've not seen until now. *Sheltered Yank* =P

[Citizen Bleys]

You've never heard of Raffi? Baby Beluga?

[Mr. Graves]

When I say I'm sheltered, I do not joke. =)

(No, I haven't.)

[Ouch!]

Raffi is by far the best musical artist of all time.

As for Keiths, never met one.

[-N-]

Just a note to all the amazing contributors we've had:

We sincerely appreciate all efforts and contributions you have made to the worthy study and are almost ready to begin presenting our findings to several world-renowned scholars. After collecting much data from many sources, compiling them, and performing thorough statistical analysis, we have concluded that Edit by ShlupQuack: There's nothing to see here folks. This has all been taken care of. Carry on. :D

[auron_790]

My real name is actually Keith YAY!!! :p

[White Raven]

~Keith Richards
~Keith Hernandez
~Alexander Keiths Indian Pale Ale

All very good Keiths.