Baloki
09-21-2004, 08:35 PM
Yet again I have written another violent Anime Artical this time based on an american late night time format, enjoy!
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Announcer: Hello and welcome to Digitally Broke Anime the latest in Digital TV Channels to hit the UK shores, up next is Anime Online so stay tuned folks!
[Suddenly a little logo for Digitally Broke Anime shows up before disappearing and the title credits for Anime Online rolling. The title credits consist of a bit of card with AOL written on it in exceptianally girl handwritting stuck accross the camera lense, after a crudy bit of music is played in the background the card is peeled off to reveal a studio.]
Akito: Hello my friends and welcome to US hit show Anime Online, based on the cruddy UK version this show will cover some great anime related topics and also some violent action, enjoy. First up is a quick round of Sakura's Cherry blossem challenge!
[Camera slowly fades out to a crowded city street in what looks like downtown tokyo with Sakura and Shinji Akari stood there]
Sakura: Hey guys *winks*, todays round is how many times can we make Shinji here cry in a min?
Shinji: Hey you said this was an interview about my new series!?!
Sakura: Shut up you whiny turd.
Shinji starts crying]
Sakura: So will it be?
[A screen appears showing the options]
Sakura: a) once
b) twice
c) He won't stop
d) He will stop
Bet now!
[Sakura does a little dance for 20 seconds while Shinji continues crying and the phrase 'BET NOW!' flashes accross the screen]
Sakura: Betting Ends! *Shoots Shinji*
Shinji: Ow my kneecaps, YOU BITCH!
[Shinji runs down the street crying, his kneecaps bleeding and the camera man and Sakura chasing him, when the minutes up Sakura casts a card which throws shinji in the air 100ft then letting him drop]
Sakura [splat] Time up, and the answer was b) twice, to all of you winners out there congradulations, to all you losers better luck next time! Back to you in the studio!
[The screen switches back to the studio where Gendo Akiari is sitting in a pool of blood]
Gendo: American customs couldn't stop me, Eva's couldn't stop me, Instrumentality must continue I must posses ultimate joy, I must fill the gap in our minds, I must take over the WORLDDDDD!!!!!!!!!!!
Akito: Yes Gendo, but what started you on this Bloodlust of a rampage?
Gendo: Most people say its the fact that I blame myself for my wifes death, but their wrong, so wrong, its all my stupid brat of a sun Shinji's fault, he never stopped crying, I never got any sleep, it drove me MAD. MAD I SAYYYY!!!!!!
Akito: Thank you Mr. Akari.
[Gendo is lead off the screen by two men in white coats]
Akito: Well folks onto out last thing tonight before our half hour slot of 15 minutes is used up, and that is...
[Dramatic pause]
...New Anime of The WEEKKKKKKKKKKK! Over to you Li Showron.
Li: Thanks Akito, well our latest anime we have just got hold of in the UK is, yes Tug Boat Willy. Its a story of a mouses dramatic battle against cancer and his own psychological problems while he has a rubbish *pun* job.
Akito: Well there you have it, until next time folks, goodnight!
---
Announcer: Hello and welcome to Digitally Broke Anime the latest in Digital TV Channels to hit the UK shores, up next is Anime Online so stay tuned folks!
[Suddenly a little logo for Digitally Broke Anime shows up before disappearing and the title credits for Anime Online rolling. The title credits consist of a bit of card with AOL written on it in exceptianally girl handwritting stuck accross the camera lense, after a crudy bit of music is played in the background the card is peeled off to reveal a studio.]
Akito: Hello my friends and welcome to US hit show Anime Online, based on the cruddy UK version this show will cover some great anime related topics and also some violent action, enjoy. First up is a quick round of Sakura's Cherry blossem challenge!
[Camera slowly fades out to a crowded city street in what looks like downtown tokyo with Sakura and Shinji Akari stood there]
Sakura: Hey guys *winks*, todays round is how many times can we make Shinji here cry in a min?
Shinji: Hey you said this was an interview about my new series!?!
Sakura: Shut up you whiny turd.
Shinji starts crying]
Sakura: So will it be?
[A screen appears showing the options]
Sakura: a) once
b) twice
c) He won't stop
d) He will stop
Bet now!
[Sakura does a little dance for 20 seconds while Shinji continues crying and the phrase 'BET NOW!' flashes accross the screen]
Sakura: Betting Ends! *Shoots Shinji*
Shinji: Ow my kneecaps, YOU BITCH!
[Shinji runs down the street crying, his kneecaps bleeding and the camera man and Sakura chasing him, when the minutes up Sakura casts a card which throws shinji in the air 100ft then letting him drop]
Sakura [splat] Time up, and the answer was b) twice, to all of you winners out there congradulations, to all you losers better luck next time! Back to you in the studio!
[The screen switches back to the studio where Gendo Akiari is sitting in a pool of blood]
Gendo: American customs couldn't stop me, Eva's couldn't stop me, Instrumentality must continue I must posses ultimate joy, I must fill the gap in our minds, I must take over the WORLDDDDD!!!!!!!!!!!
Akito: Yes Gendo, but what started you on this Bloodlust of a rampage?
Gendo: Most people say its the fact that I blame myself for my wifes death, but their wrong, so wrong, its all my stupid brat of a sun Shinji's fault, he never stopped crying, I never got any sleep, it drove me MAD. MAD I SAYYYY!!!!!!
Akito: Thank you Mr. Akari.
[Gendo is lead off the screen by two men in white coats]
Akito: Well folks onto out last thing tonight before our half hour slot of 15 minutes is used up, and that is...
[Dramatic pause]
...New Anime of The WEEKKKKKKKKKKK! Over to you Li Showron.
Li: Thanks Akito, well our latest anime we have just got hold of in the UK is, yes Tug Boat Willy. Its a story of a mouses dramatic battle against cancer and his own psychological problems while he has a rubbish *pun* job.
Akito: Well there you have it, until next time folks, goodnight!