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Ouch!
11-17-2004, 03:22 AM
"For decades- maybe centuries- men have depended on women to set the rules for polite behavior. Sometimes that woman was the man's mother, sometimes she was his wife, sometimes she was a famous etiquette expert like Amy Vanderbilt or Emily Post.

There comes a time in every man's life when his mother isn't around any more. Married or not, he is expected to go to parties and to entertain. He has business associates to deal with and coworkers with whom he must get along. Such moments can fill a guy with needless terror. He may get frustrated trying to tie a bow tie or set his table correctly. He may find himself fumbling when he needs to introduce two of his best friends.

The truth of the matter is, being a gentleman is not rocket science. Being a gentleman requires a little logic, a bit of forethought, and a great deal of consideration for others. It is not about complicated rules and convoluted instructions. Instead, it is about trying to make life easier for other people. It is about honestly and sincerely being a nice guy.

For a guy the noblest virtues are camaraderie, dependability, and unswerving loyalty. It confuses him to think that his future might be ruined if he ate his entrée with a salad fork.

That is why this book spells out what a man really needs to know if he plans to make his way in this world.

Simply acting like a gentleman is not enough. It is being a gentleman that is important, and that means thinking of others, being there when you are needed, and knowing when you are not needed. It is what you do and who you are- an accumulation of gentlemanly behaviors over the course of a lifetime- that make a man a gentleman.

It truly is possible for a man to learn to be a gentleman if he has the direction he needs. For that reason, the women of the world will be glad this book exists."

And so it begins: the introduction from How to be a Gentleman: A Contemporary Guide to Common Courtesy. The book is divided into chapters- big surprise- but this chapter is not of a continuous text. It is separated into various statements, some only a sentence long, others a paragraph. Some of these a preceded by an introduction very similar to the one above.

Each day I will post three of these statements, guidelines to being a gentleman. Take out your pen and paper guys, this is important stuff.

Some of this is actually worth listening to, while some of it is utter crap. Have fun.

"Chapter One:
A Gentleman Experiences Real Life

1. A gentleman knows how to make others feel comfortable.

2. A gentleman knows how to make a grilled cheese at 2 A.M. and an omelet at 7 A.M.

3. If a gentleman has a cold, especially if he has a running fever, he declines all social invitations. If it is possible, he even stays home from work."

Del Murder
11-17-2004, 03:54 AM
Finally coming here starts to enrich my life.

kikimm
11-17-2004, 05:28 AM
Wow...definitley interesting stuff. Although it's good to see that guys might take a hint from these kinds of books, I hope no one completely changes because of it. I can't stand people who are fake, and this could...lead people to change who they are. Sometimes I think people put too much pressure on guys to be "the gentleman." Meh, whatever. This is still interesting...and I'll probably end up sharing it with a select group of people...


:D

The Captain
11-17-2004, 05:32 AM
Now, is this how to be a gentleman in order to get a date, or how to be one to benefit yourself and those around you? That can drastically change the circumstances.

Take care all.

Polaris
11-17-2004, 09:09 AM
How to be a gentleman? :lol:

1st - Open the door of the car everythime I get in it.
2nd - Make me the dinner if I come home late...

This is like a gentleman should be... :lo:

Peegee
11-17-2004, 10:15 AM
3rd - spend all my money on you
4th - have no self respect

:D?

I've been called a jerk and an asshole, and I don't think I'm going to go back to 'gentleman' any time soon.

Ouch!
11-17-2004, 04:38 PM
I believe this book is teaching you how to become an over-all gentleman. The chapters describe how a gentleman should act in different environments, so I guess it's being a nice guy, not just picking up chicks. I'm reading along as I post this stuff here. Anyways, here’re the next three.

"4. Even if he lives alone, a gentleman never drinks milk from the container.

A Gentleman Attends the Theater

Because he respects other people, a gentleman always shows up on time for any performance, whether it is a concert, a motion picture, or a stage play. If he arrives late, he does not attempt to be seated until there is a suitable break in the performance. (In the case of a play or a musical comedy, his tardiness may require him to wait until intermission.) In every case, he follows the instructions of the ushers. If he behaves himself, a gentleman knows, a kindly usher may quietly slip him into a seat on the back row.

A gentleman never forgets that watching a live performance is not the same thing as watching a TV show in his own living room. He does not talk during the performance- even during the very loudest music or sound effects. He does not shift about in his seat unnecessarily. And, if he has a tendency to cough, he always carries a cough drop. Should a gentleman find himself surprised by an uncontrollabel coughing jag, he leaves the auditorium- both for his own good and the good of others.

5. At a concert or any other musical performance, a gentleman does not applaud until the end of a complete musical number. If he is unsure he would be well-advised not to start an ovation alone.

6. If a gentleman is lost, he admits it. He readily asks for directions."

Number six contradicts everything I've been taught about being a man.

Cz
11-17-2004, 04:50 PM
Personally I believe that there is more to being courteous and 'gentlemanly' than simply following a set of rules. You can be socially awkward and still be a good person, and I don't think that following these rules necessarily makes you a gentleman either.

On the other hand, it's essentially a book on how to be a good person, so I can't see what harm it could possibly do. It sounds like an interesting read.

Loony BoB
11-17-2004, 04:57 PM
I disagree with the need for rule #2 and believe that these rules are designed for a RICH gentleman. I can't afford to attend the theater.

theundeadhero
11-17-2004, 05:17 PM
Even if he lives alone, a gentleman never drinks milk from the container.Well, looks like I'm out.

Roogle
11-17-2004, 05:49 PM
I was raised like a gentleman -- bet you didn't know that!

Azure Chrysanthemum
11-17-2004, 05:55 PM
I really dislike that most people think being a gentleman means waiting on a woman hand and foot, a lot of the old concepts are outdated and such.

That being said, when the rules have been drilled into your head for years, when you encounter a girl who really doesn't care, nor think about the whole gentleman aspect, it is both refreshing and confusing as all hell.

m4tt
11-17-2004, 06:04 PM
People call me a gentleman all the time.. doesn't seem to help me any. Doesn't help me GET any either.

Del Murder
11-18-2004, 02:09 AM
A gentleman would never speak of 'getting' any.

Azure Chrysanthemum
11-18-2004, 02:13 AM
He's got you there.

m4tt
11-18-2004, 02:52 PM
Well there ya go.

Ouch!
11-19-2004, 09:05 PM
Missed a day, oh well.

"7. A gentleman does not pick his nose in public. In fact, he is wise if he does not pick his nose in private, since bat habits are easily formed.

8. When a gentleman walks his dog, he assumes responsibility for his pet's poop.

9. When a gentleman arrives late for a church service, he waits for a suitable pause in the service before slipping, as unobtrusively as possible, into a pew at the back."

I'm two for three on that one. I don't go to chruch.

theundeadhero
11-19-2004, 09:54 PM
Is the whole point of this thread for you to make fun of me for not being a gentleman?

gokufusionss1
11-19-2004, 10:00 PM
i allready do all these things, it seems my parents raised me right, yuo wouldn't believe the amount of confused looks i get from women when i open doors for them.

Peegee
11-19-2004, 10:08 PM
I now have a deep seeded hatred for gentlemen. According to your bible, I think I can get away with spraying paint on his nice expensive pretentious jacket and he'll just sit there and take it.

Failing that, they just irritate me. No self-respecting person would do all these things, while thinking 'oh look at me I'm better than those riff raffs who have no class'. I consider that a form of ego supremacy using a very subjective tool for measure, much like Plato and his vaunted 'Forms'.

Tokki Wartooth
11-19-2004, 10:11 PM
Hey, I'm a gentleman!

Ouch!
11-21-2004, 02:18 AM
I got this book because I thought it would be amusing. I'm rather bored of it now. Most of it is just thoughtless junk that most anyone would do. The worst part is that the author was taking this seriously. I thought it was written to be a joke. I was sorely mistaken.