Best Bathroom Stories

[krissy]

Post your best bathroom stories, things you found in public bathroms, poems on the doors, etc.

'People come here to sit and think,
But all they end up doing is making a stink.'

EDIT:

75% of the people that I happen to encounter while in a public bathroom don't wash their hands.

Also, question 2: Do you ever just swivel around to try to not go to the bathroom. Like, gyrating on your computer chair because you're reading a very interesting thread but you really need to go release the pressure? I mean, just curious. This isn't a part of the study.

[Jojee]

I found my bf in the bathroom :love:

>=\ When I said bathroom thread, I meant better bathroom thread! *glare*

Edit: Ok that's a little better ^^

Yessir I do wash my hands, and I avoid going to the bathroom for as long as possible in my dorm, because I am lazy and the bathroom is all the way on the other end of the far, far hallway ;P In my house, I do not avoid it though, cos' it's fairly close by.

[Chris]

"Snuffle buffs Britney Spears in public; right under the watching eyes of mother Christina"

What makes it sad...is because its actually true...I once saw that on a restroom door :(

[Dking'squeen]

On the inside of the door is a message in bright red letters
STOP BEFORE YOU DROP THINK BEFORE YOU STINK IT IS NOT AN ART TO FART SO TAKE IT OUTSIDE BEFORE YOU MAKE YOUR MARK
DOn't look at me, I'm just the reciter

[Borry!]

At this one public toilet I frequented it said on the wall "come here midnight on wednesday if you want sex."

It wasn't until after I went there at midnight on wednesday, was molested by a large asian man, went the following week just to make sure, was molested again, spent five years in therapy and watched one of the national lampoons vacation I can't remember which one that I realised it probably wasn't a woman who wrote that in the mens toilets.

:cry:

[Dking'squeen]

UM...How sad?(Don't know what to say to that)

[Borry!]

Yeah I know. Those National Lampoons Vacation movies are REALLY bad. :cry: :cry:

[Dking'squeen]

And here I was about to go see one. You just saved me! You're a friggin life saver!

[Shlup]

Oh! Oh! I have a good story!

Last night my boyfriend and I got back to his apartment after 4 in the morning. His roomates were cuddled on the couch and in the chair with their blankies and the TV on, fast asleep. It was terribly cute, other than the stack of beer cans.

My boyfriend went out to get something to drink about the time I was drifting off to sleep, and I care barely hear the words "Bob... where are you peeing?" a pause and then "Bob, is that the toilet or the fridge?"

My boyfriend made an LJ entry with photos here (http://www.livejournal.com/users/buttheponcho/20599.html).

[Jojee]

Hahah.... I have a story like that, Shlup ^_^ Except it didn't happen to me, thank god. My guy friend's roommate came back to their dorm piss drunk (no pun intended!), dropped his pants, and peed on the carpet. My friend had to clean it, and while he was doing that, his roommate decided to relieve himself once again on the kitchen table, where my friend's homework was. Poor kid, I would beat my roommate up if she did that... ^^ Or at least pee on her stuff and tell her that she did it in the morning, when she is sober.....

[Logan]

Someone wrote in the bathroom at school and used "there" instead of "their", so I crossed it out and corrected it and the next day there was a string of cursewords towards me. :D

that's the best I got :(

[eestlinc]

on the wall in the fifth floor restroom in Memorial Hall at the U. of Cincinnati:

Release Da Brown Hostage.

I saw it the day I came up to audition as a high school senior and it was there until my senior year of college when they repainted the bathroom wall.

[*ETERNAL FANTASY*]

I avoid public toilets full stop...

there are stories in school where people got caught wanking in the bathroom...

pretty sick eh?

[Meat Puppet]

I looked in the mirror. The rest is too rude to post at this site.

[Agent Proto]

I got a good story, but it involves your mom. :(

[Brian The Pink Shark]

the whole of my year at my school was banned from the school toilets because someone turned all the taps round and broke the pipes, no one came forward so if you need a piss you have to hold it in alllllllllllllllllllllllllllll day :choc:

[m4tt]

This guy I work with likes to do "fist bumps" to almost everyone he talks to. I went in the bathroom to wash my hands and he was using one of the urinals. Another guy I work with walks in and uses the urinal next to him. Guy number 1 is all "Hey gent!" and raises his fist to bump Guy number 2's. Guy number 2 didn't want any of that and just said hey back. I know I wouldn't want to bump a fist that had just been down south.

[Dking'squeen]

grotesque and very dirty. unclean, unsanitary. Wonder if he even washed his hands when he was done

[Flying Mullet]

This guy I work with likes to do "fist bumps" to almost everyone he talks to. I went in the bathroom to wash my hands and he was using one of the urinals. Another guy I work with walks in and uses the urinal next to him. Guy number 1 is all "Hey gent!" and raises his fist to bump Guy number 2's. Guy number 2 didn't want any of that and just said hey back. I know I wouldn't want to bump a fist that had just been down south.
A fist bump is better than a fist pump.

Yeah, about %50 of the guys I work with don't wash their hands either, after using both the stalls and the urinals. My list of guys whom I never want to shake hands with grows every day.

[Dking'squeen]

Yeah, about %50 of the guys I work with don't wash their hands either, after using both the stalls and the urinals. My list of guys whom I never want to shake hands with grows every day.

I watch my hands too. I don't trust anyone that uses the bathroom at my school, no one. The people who don't use it are my best friends:D Well, my list goes to the moon and all the way back. I could bungee jump with it

[Free Spirit]

Hmmm a funny bathroom story. I think it was when I had spent the night at my boyfriends. His dad was drunk off his butt. My boyfriend and I were watching a movie when his dad had walked out lifted the couch cussion and went to the bathroom right there. I just stared and my boyfriend started laughing :mad:

[Aurey]

I try not to use my school bathrooms because I don't think the people who use the bathroom know how to flush the toilets. Or wash their hands.

One gross story that I can remember from about two years ago was that on the wall of a bathroom stall there was a booger. It was there for about three months, then someone finally got the courage to pick it off the wall. People wrote weird things on the wall right next to the booger during the time it was there, it was funny. But gross at the same time.

I used to try not to go to the bathroom when I really wanted to finish something. I did that back in kindergarten and I had to wear wet smelly pants the whole day, since neither of my parents were home to come to my school and give me a clean pair. So I've learned my lesson on that one.

[nik0tine]

Well, I was at home, in my bathroom, and believe it or not, I was busy taking a piss. After I finished up, I shook it, so as to not leave any pee droplets on my penis. However, I must have shaken it too hard because I noticed one of those pee droplets heading straight for my left eye. It hit my eye. It all happened in slow motion to, and after it was all over I began to laugh, and I then rushed to go tell everyone I knew.

[Jojee]

Well, I was at home, in my bathroom, and believe it or not, I was busy taking a piss. After I finished up, I shook it, so as to not leave any pee droplets on my penis. However, I must have shaken it too hard because I noticed one of those pee droplets heading straight for my left eye. It hit my eye. It all happened in slow motion to, and after it was all over I began to laugh, and I then rushed to go tell everyone I knew.

W.T.F.

Why didn't you just... wipe it or something instead? o___0

[Dking'squeen]

Well, I was at home, in my bathroom, and believe it or not, I was busy taking a piss. After I finished up, I shook it, so as to not leave any pee droplets on my penis. However, I must have shaken it too hard because I noticed one of those pee droplets heading straight for my left eye. It hit my eye. It all happened in slow motion to, and after it was all over I began to laugh, and I then rushed to go tell everyone I knew.

:D:D:D:D and WTF. um...did you wash your hands and eye? What did your friends say?

[fire_of_avalon]

nik wins. Just... fantastic.

In a gas station bathroom near my house, there were giant purple Rolling Stone lips.

Like as big as me.

That's freakin' big.

[Shoeberto]

I don't use public restrooms. Period.

My friend said that a few weeks ago when he was using the restroom after lunch, a mentally handicapped kid just ran in and vomited all over the floor. So he had to just sort of finish up quickly and hop-skip-and-jump over the pool of vomit on the restroom floor.

[Rye]

I've read many things written on bathroom stalls in my school, but this took the cake:

"Here I lay broken hearted,
First I sh*t and then I farted."

[Jack]

"If you are from England and use this toilet. Me and my friends will personally catch you and drown you in you own s*** you English scum. You are a bunch f***ing gays. Go back to your gay bumming land"

I'd never been to wales before, and this was the first thing i ddi when i got ther, go to this toilet. Sorry for the language. That made me chuckle.

Funniest story... I went a toilet in Gloucester and there was this man lying on the floor of his cubicle. I tried to wake him and he said something like "No Louise, not that way" in his sleep. he snored and I laughed.

[Meat Puppet]

I remember at school I saw my friend and his girlfriend come out of the toilets. I asked them what they were doing and they said fixing the taps. But the taps were still broken, if not more so. :whimper:

[m4tt]

I don't use public restrooms. Period.

Only "public" restroom I use is at work. Eversince my traumatizing experience at disneyland a few years back I've been afraid. My friends and I went up there on a saturday. We thought it was just any other day. It happened to be "Family Pride" day, which I guess also meant "Gay Pride" day. You can tell who they were cause they were all wearing red shirts. Anyway, after we got off Space Mountain I went to use the bathroom. A guy came in next to me and started to do his business. He kept glancing over at me and then he LEANED OVER the urinal wall and looked at my special place. I As hard as it is to stop peeing, I did and he winked at me and smiled as I hurried out of the bathroom. The rest of the day sucked because I was afraid of the bathrooms and still had to pee. :(

[Erdrick Holmes]

I like to mess with the graffiti that people write on the walls. Like if I see some writing that says Adam (heart symbol) Sarah, I grab a pencil and cross it out and write "nobody cares".

[*ETERNAL FANTASY*]

Well, I was at home, in my bathroom, and believe it or not, I was busy taking a piss. After I finished up, I shook it, so as to not leave any pee droplets on my penis. However, I must have shaken it too hard because I noticed one of those pee droplets heading straight for my left eye. It hit my eye. It all happened in slow motion to, and after it was all over I began to laugh, and I then rushed to go tell everyone I knew.

LOL This story takes the cake!!!...though i dont know how thats physically possible i just read it and im still laughin mate!

[Doc Sark]

In 2001 I went to Zante on holiday. Now this is pretty disgusting so those of you who are squeamish.... you are not allowed to flush toilet paper in Zante because of the poor sewage system on the Island. So when I went to a lovely nightclub and needed to relieve my bladder during the night time drinking, I was greeted in the toilet by the most disgusting smell of faeces and used skidded up toilet paper littering the floors and the sinks. It is the most disgusting thing I have smelt , seen , or been within touching distance off. So sufficed to say I did my business in the urinal and did NOT go anywhere near that sink to wash my hands.

[pooter7799]

1 time i had just eaten mexican food and i had to go real bad and while i was pushing and straning i lent over to scratch my foot and i accidentally http://forums.eyesonff.com/images/smilies/lovesmile.gifhttp://forums.eyesonff.com/images/smilies/lovesmile.gifhttp://forums.eyesonff.com/images/smilies/lovesmile.gifhttp://forums.eyesonff.com/images/smilies/lovesmile.gif all over the place!!!
i ran away fast

[Jojee]

[censored]: ps
[censored]: you didnt know that
[censored]: when guys go pee, they
[censored]: wiggle afterwards
Joyeebloo: .....
Joyeebloo: ALL GUYS do that?
[censored]: to dry off?
[censored]: uh yeah
Joyeebloo: why can't they fricking use the TOILET PAPER
[censored]: its different
[censored]: urinal exit is extended beyond body, so urine doesn't actually get on you so much you'd need to bother with tp
[censored]: also there aint no toilet paper near urinals
[censored]: ever
[censored]: ever seen one like that?
Joyeebloo: ....If you can bother with 'wiggling' then you can bother with toilet paper >O
[censored]: you dont walk halfway across the bathroom with your penis outside uyour zipper for tp
Joyeebloo: then use a stall >O
Joyeebloo: or paper towels
[censored]: wtf lol
[censored]: back off woman
Joyeebloo: wtf
Joyeebloo: yeah just go wiggling your stuff all over
[censored]: its not really
[censored]: wiggling
Joyeebloo: .... XD
[censored]: there's a specific pattern you follow
[censored]: it's directing any remnants into the urinal
[censored]: or bowl
Joyeebloo: or your eye ;-)
[censored]: not uncommon apparently
[censored]: someone gets too excited
[censored]: the go too fast in the wrong direction
[censored]: bam
[censored]: blinded
Joyeebloo: k let's stop talking about this, i'm enlightened already XD
Joyeebloo: *will ask [censored2] kekeke*
[censored]: if he cleans himself with toilet paper after peeing
[censored]: im never talkign to him again
[censored]: lmao k
[censored]: lol i'm posting this conversation ;-)
[censored]: dun think so
[censored]: having 16 yr odl girls reading about my penis wagging habit
[censored]: s
Joyeebloo: i'll censor you ;D

Happy, Not at All Reno? ^_^

[eestlinc]

IT's TRUE! WE ARE LAME!

[ShiggtyLuffLuff]

>_> Manly secrets are being foiled by women eyes.

[Dixie]

My friend and I walked into a boys bathroom. It was SO funny! The boys were so scared! We said, "Oops, I guess that this isn't the right place to find a girl!" That scared them even more. We walked out, laughing so hard we collapsed!

[nik0tine]

[censored]: ps
[censored]: you didnt know that
[censored]: when guys go pee, they
[censored]: wiggle afterwards
Joyeebloo: .....
Joyeebloo: ALL GUYS do that?
[censored]: to dry off?
[censored]: uh yeah
Joyeebloo: why can't they fricking use the TOILET PAPER
[censored]: its different
[censored]: urinal exit is extended beyond body, so urine doesn't actually get on you so much you'd need to bother with tp
[censored]: also there aint no toilet paper near urinals
[censored]: ever
[censored]: ever seen one like that?
Joyeebloo: ....If you can bother with 'wiggling' then you can bother with toilet paper >O
[censored]: you dont walk halfway across the bathroom with your penis outside uyour zipper for tp
Joyeebloo: then use a stall >O
Joyeebloo: or paper towels
[censored]: wtf lol
[censored]: back off woman
Joyeebloo: wtf
Joyeebloo: yeah just go wiggling your stuff all over
[censored]: its not really
[censored]: wiggling
Joyeebloo: .... XD
[censored]: there's a specific pattern you follow
[censored]: it's directing any remnants into the urinal
[censored]: or bowl
Joyeebloo: or your eye
[censored]: not uncommon apparently
[censored]: someone gets too excited
[censored]: the go too fast in the wrong direction
[censored]: bam
[censored]: blinded
Joyeebloo: k let's stop talking about this, i'm enlightened already XD
Joyeebloo: *will ask [censored2] kekeke*
[censored]: if he cleans himself with toilet paper after peeing
[censored]: im never talkign to him again
[censored]: lmao k
[censored]: lol i'm posting this conversation
[censored]: dun think so
[censored]: having 16 yr odl girls reading about my penis wagging habit
[censored]: s
Joyeebloo: i'll censor you ;D



:D :D :D


and WTF. um...did you wash your hands and eye? What did your friends say?
Now that you mention it, I can't even remember if I washed my hands or my eye. I can only hope that I did. And as for what my friends said, They all jsut laughed at me, and said everything you guys have said.

[Dking'squeen]

Now that you mention it, I can't even remember if I washed my hands or my eye. I can only hope that I did. And as for what my friends said, They all jsut laughed at me, and said everything you guys have said.

I too can only hope :lol: