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Chris
02-11-2005, 06:52 PM
I'm in a very strange predicament.
This friend of mine broke up with her boyfriend a year ago, but still she's walking in a daze.
She's constantly looking for the man that long since got away, I don't know what to do or tell her?

Why is she continuesly looking for the man that got away?

What good does it do?

What do I tell her?

What do I do?

I need some advice :confused:

ShivaBlizzard8
02-11-2005, 07:02 PM
I can understand the feeling - its not easy to let go of a relationship you had invested a lot in - especially if the ending of it was ambiguous or not her decision. There's always that hope he will come back and change his mind - a hope that can be hung on to for a very long time. With some people, that's not going to go away until she meets someone better - which may not happen for awhile. I don't think you can really do much other than be supportive and make sure she gets out and meets new people. :)

Meow
02-11-2005, 07:07 PM
Usually folks end things for good reason. But your best memories have staying power, and it's easy to get nostalgic about exes. From the sound of things, he's long gone, so it isn't too surprising that she remembers him for his best qualities rather than the little obnoxious bits that eventually drove them apart: she doesn't even see him any more. She'd probably do best to move on.

But don't tell her that unless she's asking. Unrequested advice can be trouble. Maybe ask about why they broke up, and see if anything strikes her about the conversation; there's probably some particular issue about him that got stuck somewhere with her, and maybe you can grease it enough to loosen it all up.

edczxcvbnm
02-11-2005, 07:11 PM
Why is she continuesly looking for the man that got away?
Because she is young and stupid

What good does it do?
It doesn't do any good. Its just stupid

What do I tell her?
Get over the guy, stupid

What do I do?
Why don't you date her?

Chris
02-11-2005, 07:15 PM
I really hate to see her at a state like this.
It's pretty bad, she lies in bed all day when she comes home from work.
She's just lying there, I've asked her about professional help... but I can't seem to get a straight answer.

I mean it's been a year and she's still this depressed.

I'm lost.

boris no no
02-11-2005, 11:06 PM
Why is she continuesly looking for the man that got away?
Because she is young and stupid

What good does it do?
It doesn't do any good. Its just stupid

What do I tell her?
Get over the guy, stupid

What do I do?
Why don't you date her?
thats just mean. you poop head

people get over things in different ways. i'm still upset about my break up but try and get on with life. she probally was pressured into it and never forgot about what she could of had.
just comfort her and make sure shes happy.
it's poopie to see friends like that but you can't make the guy go out with her again. try an introduce her to new poeple and friends. you never know she might meet someone new and hit off even better then the other guy.

Peegee
02-11-2005, 11:07 PM
no, ed's advice is good.

Shlup
02-12-2005, 12:05 AM
Its been a year? She needs professional help. I'm not kidding.

DJZen
02-12-2005, 01:02 AM
Tell her that it's her choice to keep wallowing in misery and she can stop whenever she feels like it.

eestlinc
02-12-2005, 04:17 AM
Usually folks end things for good reason. But your best memories have staying power, and it's easy to get nostalgic about exes. From the sound of things, he's long gone, so it isn't too surprising that she remembers him for his best qualities rather than the little obnoxious bits that eventually drove them apart: she doesn't even see him any more. She'd probably do best to move on.

exactly. Once you actually get back together you realize all the reasons you broke up in the first place.

-N-
02-13-2005, 05:49 AM
Walk away and let her figure it out on her own. You can't do anything about it, at this point. Unless you're a therapist. But you're not.