Divorce Thread

[Chris]

Divorce almost seems fashionable today.
It makes me kinda sad to think about couples divorcing, what happened to actually try to work out things?
I'm not pretending to understand people's situation but way too many does little or nothing at all
to save their marriage.

Any of your parents divorced?
How did/ does it affect you?

[TheAbominatrix]

My parents split when I was 10. During that time I was told a lot of bs, but what it boiled down to was the fact that my mom was cheating on my dad. My mom took me to live with my gramma (in a trailer, no less). I wanted to be with my dad, but my mom more or less stole me from him.

It resulted in about 7 years of my mis-directed hatred towards my father (mom told me a lot of bs about him) and being toted around from house to house (and ultimately being sexually abused by some guy my mom was with). So, all in all, it really, really sucked. I lost my home, my things, my pets, and my parents (mom was too busy with her boyfriends, dad was lost in this haze of drugs and depression). To look on the bright side, I suppose a few good things may have come of it, and it was nice not to have to listen to them fight anymore (though I did have to listen to mom fight with various boyfriends).

As for not trying to work things out... that's pretty much what happened. My dad was willing, my mom wasnt.

Divorce is far too popular these days, I wish people would really try to fix things, especially when kids are involved.

[Chris]

I think it's admirable that you've managed to get through all of that; depending basically only on yourself.

:)

[fire_of_avalon]

My parent's were separated the January I was four and my sister was 19 months. The finalized the divorce when my sister turn two, later that year in May. When they knew it was coming, my mother, Luci, made my father ask me who I wanted to live with, and then she made me answer. I was a smart kid even then, so I chose my father of course.

Had I gone with my mother, I'm quite sure things would've turned out much like Ashley's. My mother cheated on my father during their marriage, and was (probably still is) a huge substance abuser. The only time she was ever off the stuff was when she was pregnant with myself and Sarah. At least, that's what Daddy was told.

Daddy really loved Luci, but Luci doesn't love anybody, or really care about anybody besides herself. I haven't seen her since I was nine, and I haven't spoken to her since I was eleven. I know that I'm a better person for it.

And that's a decision I made on my own, after I learned the truth about things. But I love my Daddy, because for all the crap he pulls, he's still the only person who will really understand the how's and why's about me. And he's the only one who I know will always be there for me, even when he's not.

EDIT: Concerning other people's divorce, I think it's seen as a quick fix. No one thinks of the consequences of things anymore, because they know they can always go back. I wish people didn't think that way. However, in some cases, I think divorce is necessary.

[Levian]

Better with a divorce than living with parents that dislike eachother. I think there were more unhappy homes way back then.

Trying to glue a broken household together = everybody is unhappy
Divorcing, and quite possibly have an OK relationship with the other half = Everybody, except some snotty kids that wants everything to be perfect, is happy.

:cool:

edit: forgot to answer the other question. No, my parents are still married, and their in their 29th year. They yell at eachother a lot, but they cuddle even more. Yes, I know, disgusting. :cool: Anyway, in 5 months I'm gonna move MAAAAAAAAAANY miles away from them. It takes 24 hours to drive there with a car. Go figure. :D

[Rye]

Better with a divorce than living with parents that dislike eachother. I think there were more unhappy homes way back then.

Yeah. My uncle and aunt on my Dad's side pretty much are miserable together, but are together for the kids. It's a shame. :/

[Apollo]

Actually my parents always act like they are on the verge of divorce and then they work it out. It used to stress me out so much that I had to see a councelor but now I don't have to see anyone and i've just learned to ignore it. I've been putting up with it all my life. I'm just glad that I don't let this bother me anymore. Also it has been is my mothers longest marriage so its has to mean something.

[TheAbominatrix]

I certainly agree, but I think people are too quick to dub things as horrid and just divorce as opposed to fixing them, less and less people are willing to work on it before giving up. But yes, there's definitly situations where it should be done.

Chris - I had Jesus, so I wasnt alone. My faith got me through, and I had great friends (like Shlup) and a good imagination to escape with xD. But thanks for your kind words, I very much appreciate them <3.

Things are good now, my mom still needs to work on a lot of her problems, but she's happy and that's all that matters. I got to live with my dad for a few years recently, and it was awesome. Even though that whole mess sucked, I suppose it made me who I am.

[louby_4eva]

My parents got divorced 6/7 years ago when I wsa 10, i hated my dad for ages after, he cheated on my mum and when I found out, tried to make me lie about it to my mum. I think divorce was best for them both, I'm happy living with my mum :love:.

[Brian The Pink Shark]

my parents divorced when i was 5, i was really miserable because i hated my mum's boyfriend(who is now my step-dad) i kept blaming her when it was my Dad who had cheated on her :choc:

[boris no no]

my parents are split up. they will not go through a divorse because it will cost too much in loss of propety and stuff.
my mum had a breakdown and just left last year. she's been with a load of men but won't tell anyone whats she's doing. i dislike her.
my dad cannot affroed to do anything now so he is stuck. my mother will never have us living with her as thats too much responsibility for her. she only cares about herself. she is only concerned if something directly effects her.
i wish that they would have a divorce. then we will never have to see her. she has never been about. my daddys always tried. i love daddy.

[Fourleafclover]

I guess I'm pretty lucky. My parents are still together and are going on their *counts* 23rd or 24th year.... I don't know which it is... I'm such a bad daughter.

[Shlup]

Normally I'm very against divorce, as most people just seem too lazy to stick with their committment and fix their problems, but my parents had a shotgun wedding and never should've married in the first place. My mom was always clean, but my dad did a lot of drugs and wasn't faithful to my mom for a moment. I don't even think they were exclusive when my mom got knocked up, personally.

They split when I was in preschool, and were officially divorced when I was seven. I remember the day my dad left. I was playing Barbies in the dining room and he walked out with a box under each arm. He didn't even look at me.

That was the only way the divorce affected me. I missed my dad, but he wasn't around that much in the first place, so I don't think I ever even cried about him being gone. He was too young and high to be a good father.

A few years later he got... mostly clean and then he came back and decided to try and be a father. He took me to a lot of amusement parks and stuff at first, so it was fun. He's a better dad now (he's a stay-at-home dad with my six-year-old sister and two-year-old brother), but he's still too selfish to be what I'd consider a good father.

But my parents never made a good couple in the first place. I think I may be the only child ever who never wished mommy and daddy would get back together. :p

[Hawkeye]

This seems like a very depressing thread.

My parents have their arguements, so far to the point where the wanted a divorce. Hasnt happen because their relationship is steadily improving everyday.

Thank God

[SeeDRankLou]

My parents divorced when I was five and my brother was two. We moved in with my mom, who basically stole us from our dad. We saw our dad every other weekend and the like. My mom married a slightly abusive ass, and as soon as I could I moved in with my dad, only to be in a sitation where my dad's new wife was also an emotionally abusive person. So I was kind of stuck, until my mom finally divorced that idiot she was with and I moved back in with my mom, when I was seventeen. My mom is now happily married, and my stepmom, changed. I can't find a reason or excuse for what my former stepfather did, but my stepmother was put in a situation where she suddenly went from having two kids to having three, then four, then five (none of the supplemental hers), and then her dad needed to move in. It was extremely stressful on her, and sometimes she took it out on the kids. When the kids started to move out, she became a better person, and I can now see why she did what she did, which doesn't make it right, it just makes it understandable.

But I digress. Sometimes divorce is necessary, but it usually is not. A lot of people don't hold to the vows they made before their god, which is pretty crummy.

[Drift]

im too young to know alot about divorce since im still quite young as well as my parents are old fashioned and will stay married even if they hate each other...well heres my thoughts on divorce: its not good but if it does happen then the cut has to be clean no children sholud be involved since its their leives they're messing with not theirs, they already lived and made a mistake thats why they're divorcing

[Yamaneko]

My parents have been together since 1973.

[Nod]

Im not a huge fan of divorce.
my parents have been together for 27-8 years. They're in the process of splitting up- which is why i havent gone home from university for about 4 months; you can cut the tension with a knife!
It is quite strange because when i was younger i used to look at my parents as a shining example of how a good marriage was supposed to be.

[boris no no]

many of myv friends have told me that they are suprised that my parents have split.
but thats life.
my mother wa\s never a mother to me anyway

[Fuzakeru]

My mother and father are just currently getting divorced. Then my mom's ex best friend is now my father's new girlfriend who just moved in to the same house with him and my 13 year old brother. Happy days! >_<

[eestlinc]

my parents divorced when I was 4 and it has had a huge impact on my entire life, especially since I'm an only child. I turned out well, so I don't know if it was such a bad thing.

[Jojee]

*skims thread*

My parents are together, and have been for a great many years. They've had their problems, but they worked it out.

Divorce makes me angry, in most cases. ^_^ It really screws a lot of people's lives up. If you're not sure you can commit to that person through better or worse when you marry them, you shouldn't marry them, at all. When you do marry someone, you should trust and know them enough to be able to work through your problems together.

[rubah]

My parents were divorced before I was born.

So I've got four half siblings.

So I really can't say how it isX.x;

[nik0tine]

My parents are divorced but it doesn't affect me one bit. It used to, but no longer.

[Miriel]

My parents have been together for 25 years. I don't think their marriage was ever (or will ever be) in danger of ending in divorce.

I studied a bit on Divorce and why so many people are getting them these days. And while I understand a lot of the sociological reasonings behind it, the divorce rate in this country still makes me terribly sad.

[Rainecloud]

My Parents have been happily married for 24 years, and I see no sign of that changing in the near future. I respect the sanctity of marriage, and it saddens me when I hear of people getting divorced. In some cases, the split is justified (abusive spouse, cheating spouse, etc), but more often than not, it isn't.

Shame.

[Shattered Oasis]

My parents divorced when I was 7. My father was (and is) a very controlling figure, but luckily he never physically hurt my mom. It caused a bit of a shift in my life for most of my childhood, but now I see that it really was the best option. Most of my friends have parents who are happily married, but there are also many people I know with divorced parents. I look at my grandparents and see how happy they are together, and wonder how much the world has changed.Is the rising rate of divorce because people are marrying too quickly, or are they splitting because of trivial problems that could be talked out with the help of a counselor?

[Chris]

I certainly agree, but I think people are too quick to dub things as horrid and just divorce as opposed to fixing them, less and less people are willing to work on it before giving up. But yes, there's definitly situations where it should be done.

Chris - I had Jesus, so I wasnt alone. My faith got me through, and I had great friends (like Shlup) and a good imagination to escape with xD. But thanks for your kind words, I very much appreciate them <3.

Things are good now, my mom still needs to work on a lot of her problems, but she's happy and that's all that matters. I got to live with my dad for a few years recently, and it was awesome. Even though that whole mess sucked, I suppose it made me who I am.

You were strong and had good friends to help you through.
Sadly many people don't have anyone they can rely on for help and support.
Unlike you many goes down with the ship, but you kept on floating I truly, truly admire you for that.

[Caspian]

The two biggest time frames for divorce are:

1. The first three years of marriage. Understandable, because it might take time being constantly together to realize that it's not doable.

A lot of people don't realize that number 2 is right after the last child has gone to college, or left the home. Often times marriages can survive 15-20 years because of mutual relationships that a mother and father have with their children. Once that common link is gone, it can many times lead to a split.