View Full Version : TOOTH FAIRY!

05-02-2005, 09:49 AM
Okay, now I haven't lost any teeth even though I haven't been to the dentist in about a decade and I kind of like the cartoon physics behind tying your tooth to a doorknob and slamming the door even though they never show how the person manages to tie a little bow around their tooth inside their mouth and everything and maybe I should market pre-tied-teeth-nooses for the extracting of bothersome gnashers complete with spray-on laughing gas except then you might laugh too much and bite off your hand when you're tying the tooth-noose to your tooth, goose, and how does the tooth fairy put the money under your pillow without waking you up anyway I think that was in an eoff thread somewhere I don't smoke but I only use Red Seal Smoker's Toothpaste because it tastes better than every other toothpaste which in comparison is just weak and sugary and why have sugar when you can have way too much coffee and therefore coffee stains, hm? I will never use whitening-strips on my teeth, although I am tempted to buy a bottle of tooth whitener and twink [white-out] and swap the labels on them, as if they were chapstick [lip gloss] and a gluestick. The new toothbrush fad introduces the notion that one must brush one's tounge in order to remove bacteria, because flossing, brushing and gargling is no longer enough in the fight against tooth decay. I say we eat only applesauce and other things that don't need chewing. Like coffee. Or, perhaps, to save years of torment and regimentation and dentists's appointments, we should tear all of our teeth out [Bruce Willis in 12 Monkeys!] in a pre-emptive strike against dental dictatorship, and all use false gnashers instead. In conclusion, I am going to go buy a new toothbrush now. I think it will be purple.

Brian The Pink Shark
05-02-2005, 09:53 AM
er, why you by any chance inhaling laughing gas when you wrote this :D i cant see whats wrong with dentistry, :choc:

05-02-2005, 09:57 AM
I want a SpongBob toothbrush :(

05-02-2005, 10:00 AM
Never had NOS. I believe it's just been illegalised in NZ.

Dentistry is expensive, humiliating, and terrifying to many!

I, however, never have to go to the dentist.

The greatest dentist in the world is that guy from the Little Shop of Horrors. Dentists and giant carnivorous plants. In cahoots. CAHOOTS!


I am picturing strings of teeth as garlands for Christmas Trees. Wait, no, now it's holocaust dentistry to prevent the burning of money. A shame.

My Nana had false teeth, which she kept in a glass of water whilst she slept. It was most terrifying.


Meat Puppet
05-02-2005, 12:14 PM
One night after losing a tooth from a milk-bar brawl.
tooth under pillow
I hid behind a curtain and waited for the tooth fairy to come. Then I jumped her, and held a knife to her throat. I told her to hand over the cash. Even though I got about $56 from her, I accidently tore a hole in her throat.

Now, for killing the tooth fairy, I need to dress up in a fairy suit and fly around collecting little bastards teeth. It's a tough job, but it keeps food on the table.

05-02-2005, 02:55 PM
You're just an anti-dentite. Next thing you know you're going to be saying thay they should have their own schools. :mad2:

05-02-2005, 03:07 PM
whoa, that was one long sentence!

good for you, i think a purple headed toothbrush is a brilliant idea.


Old Manus
05-02-2005, 03:11 PM
I think I saw 5 sentences in the opening <s>paragraph</s> speech.

05-02-2005, 03:41 PM
I haven't been to the dentist forever. :(

Meat Puppet
05-02-2005, 04:23 PM
dentist does things to me while I am sedated

05-02-2005, 04:37 PM
My dentist moved away and I'm afraid to find a new one. :(

I need to go though. All my teeth are probably just waiting to fall out!

05-02-2005, 04:44 PM
I've never been to a dentist, but I do need a new toothbrush.

05-02-2005, 04:46 PM

You used grammar and punctuation... but definately not enough of it.

Try using more, and break it up into paragraphs ^_^

I still do not know what this topic is about so:

I also brush my teeth. Yes, it's true.

05-02-2005, 04:57 PM
Oh hush, as long as you know what a person is saying it doesn't matter what their grammer/spelling is.

Plus I find the lack of highly amusing.

05-02-2005, 06:17 PM
I think toothbrushes should be renamed teethbrushes, and toothpaste to teethpaste. Not only does it make more sense, but it sounds a lot better :cool:

05-02-2005, 06:18 PM
Electric toothbrush > manual toothbrush.
Although I only possess the latter. :(

Flying Mullet
05-02-2005, 06:19 PM
Doh, Red Dragon was on tv last night and I thought this thread was about 'that' Tooth Fairy.

05-02-2005, 07:41 PM
I haven't been to the dentist forever. :(

Me too, I always seem to forget it.


05-02-2005, 10:12 PM
I got 25 cents from my parents after I lost my first tooth and that's all I ever got for teeth =( Stupid tooth fairy, betrayed me....

Old Manus
05-02-2005, 10:22 PM
Tooth Fairies actually take money from your secret stash and then give it back to you, putting you in a no-profit situation. Remember this.

05-02-2005, 10:31 PM
Tooth Fairies actually take money from your secret stash and then give it back to you, putting you in a no-profit situation. Remember this.

Theiving little Hussy. :mad:

05-03-2005, 12:02 AM
I've always had a netprofit from every toothfairy visit.

Three of the times I've been to the dentist were to fix a broken tooth I had, then to put the replacement tooth back in. Twice. It kept falling out-_-

I need to go to the dentist again, I can feel holes all in my teeth everywher@_@@;;;

Del Murder
05-03-2005, 03:29 AM
My teeth cost a lot of money but I took good care of them and they are still pretty.

oww my gastric bypass!
05-03-2005, 05:57 PM
I found out a years ago that the tooth fairy doesny exist! It was just my mum putting the teetch in the draw and then I found the draw! I stole them!

05-03-2005, 06:57 PM
I haven't been to the dentist in awhile. A wizdom tooth came in recently, but I have no insurance to get it removed. Thankfully, it grew in fine and didn't impact.

05-03-2005, 11:05 PM
I used to get money when I was little! xDD Yayie!

I have the most awesome toothpaste ever. It's BLUE AND GEL-LIKE, and it contains spring water from France. But the awesome thing about it is that after I brush my teeth with it, MY TEETH ARE SQUEAKY CLEAN.

SQUEAKY CLEAN!!! :eek: :love:

05-04-2005, 11:36 AM
I'm pretty sure I have cavities but I refuse to go to the dentist. They're just going to drill and drill in my teeth and I refuse to submit to that again, ever! I guess I might have a fear of it? It's not like my teeth hurt or anything. When all my teeth get eaten, I'll just get false teeth! But no one's drilling my teeth. :fpsorrow: